Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 971 - Nicole Passmore

Episode Date: October 27, 2026

Improviser Nicole Passmore returns to talk Japan, Primetime, and non-forest horror. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! And welcome to episode number 971 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is a man who, at this point, when you're hearing this, we've already had our cool-ass live show, Mr. Dave Schumka. Yeah, this is, um, yeah, this will be out the week of Halloween.

Ah! So get your... Dave, you didn't warn me. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to start again? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's just a week after we played at the Billboard. It had a great show. Uh-huh. And what do you have to say about it? Hey, everyone, have a great Halloween. It's a spooky time for spooky people. It is. We love, you know, all the, good luck to everyone on their candy hunts this year.

We want to see some full pillowcases. Yes, absolutely. And do take a pillowcase, not a garbage bag, because the suckers will poke holes. that garbage bag pretty quick. Yeah, but if it's a pillowcase, no one's poking a hole in it. People might just fall asleep on it. I hope you fill it with candy and dreams.

Yeah, eat until you pass out. Eat candy until you pass out on your candy pillow. Our guest today, returning guests to the podcast, one of our faves. She's so funny. It's Nicole Passmore. Hello, Nicole. Hi, what a nice thing to say.

You're great. You're great. We love you. Yeah. Nicole, welcome. Thanks. Let's get to know us. Get to know us.

So, Nicole, you are, you make your home in Toronto. I do. Do you get a lot of trick-or-treaters? Do you know what? I have never done trick-or-treating. Wait, maybe one year. One year. I live in Little Italy.

And I think one year. A lot of Merriots there. Laris of Luigi's. A lot of just handing out meatballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not talking about the costume. A lot of Mary of L'Owe. That's right.

Ooh, and the Italian kids, when they trick or treat. Ooh, mama. I think I did one year, and I think maybe like 25 kids came. Okay. And I remember just giving out more and more candy because I had overbought. Oh, yeah. And you like portion. As you're getting towards 9 o'clock, it's like.

Oh, yeah. Then the bowl goes outside and you go, hey, come on, teenagers. Don't steal the ball. That's my good bowl. That's my good bowl. Speaking of Little Italy, I just found out today that my children's school has two boys named Enzo. Oh, a couple of Pisons. And they're both Asian.

Really? That's a twist. Home of the Asian Enzo. Enzo's. Huh. I wonder what, what is Enzo mean? It's got to mean something, right? Well, I'm sure it means something.

We could Google it. Yeah, let's Google what Enzo mean. What does it mean? What does Giuseppe mean? Well, no, names mean. Oh, okay. My name means victory for the people. Oh, okay.

Do you not know what your name means? Yeah, it means king. Okay. Oh, brother. Sorry. Oh, it means your name mean anything. Attractive and powerful. That's also what this tattoo is.

It's a host. Host of the something house. Host with the most? Host with the most. That's what it is. But it's host. It's host of some sort. But like a lot of Italian names are just like, you know, they have.

have an English equivalent as well. So, like, that's what I was wondering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elmo is the equivalent, right? Emso and Elmo? St. Enzo's fire. What if you met somebody named Elmo? Would that, like, would that blow your mind?

Yes, it would blow my mind. I once famously taught a young boy named Yinkin, like Lincoln, but with a Y. Guys, I have to recuse myself. Well, not a jury, but. When you search Enzo, a Google. Google suggests Enzo meaning Japanese. So I might be a Japanese enzo. It's not an Italian name. Okay.

And then in Japanese, it's with an S. Well, I think it's probably with a whole other set of characters. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. See, we all learned something here today. What, does it have a meaning, though? Yep.

It means, uh, circle. Perfect. Oh, perfect. The Italian one is short for Lorenzo. Or Vincenzo. Oh, Lorenzo. That's a good name. I forgot that shortened names exist.

Did you have, when you were in high school, did you have friends' names that were like, you could only know them from high school, maybe like a hyphenate Ukrainian name or something like that? I feel like these are high school only names. I felt that I was following where you were going with that, but I don't think I stayed in. names that you only, because you always say, like, reference them to somebody else as,

this is Jesse Cunningham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. A bunch of those, for sure. Like, do you remember? That's a great question. I know we did. Was it Doran Chernichin?

Oh, my God. What was this? Was it Blake Tellerica? I'm very, um. Chris Carabotzes. There we go. Oh, that's perfect. I don't think anyone would have ever said Chris.

Yeah. But you also wouldn't have said just the last name. And I'm not. doxing him, I guess, because... But he's going to hear about this. Yeah. Sure. And he's coming for you.

Well, one time in high school, he said, this is why Nicole will never have a husband. Oh. What? What had happened? I think I was speaking up for myself. Oh. Yeah.

So we're okay. We're okay. He hears it. You know, he's not wrong. Yeah. He's not wrong. But there are other reasons. Tyler Fikowski.

Yeah. Oh. I'm hesitant to do it because they always hear. Yeah. And we always find out. If you guys hear me, get in touch. Yeah. Get in touch, Doran.

Let's see what, whatever happened to you. Reach out. Also, I have this, I have a curse. Oh, no. Yeah. I say your name and within seven days, you end up watching a good videotape over the ring. And it's fine. Yeah, that's fine.

And everything's okay. Pretty scared. So within seven days you just get to enjoy a movie? You just enjoy The Ring on VHS. Great. Did you ever see The Ring? No. Do you like spooky movies?

I... Okay. Oh. You're not... I want to say yes. Famously, you're scared of snakes. I'm famously... I'm getting better.

Yeah? I'm getting a lot better. Have you had some exposure therapy or what? I have tried to like... I like... My algorithm is like a lot of snakes. Okay. And I'm not just talking about the men I'm dating, honey.

I try to, like, watch extra long. And I will say those videos people post of, like, a snake wearing a little hat. Oh, yeah. I have actually helped because it like softens. Yeah. Yeah. But I was in Japan a few months ago, and I was in Tokyo in a park. And I don't know why.

Like, I know. Japan has snakes. They have a lot of antso. They have a lot of enzo. And I'm not just talking about my ex-enzo. I know they have snakes, but I just for some reason didn't think that there would be any in, like, the city center. Oh, like walking around. But I went into a park, a beautiful park, and I, like, I was admiring a dog, like, maybe 10 feet away.

And I didn't notice that about a foot away, there was a snake. And it was like a three, maybe four foot long, just rat snake. Ooh. But. I have a four foot long rat tail. Dave, can you turn around so we can see it? Oh, yikes. He's flipping it all over the way.

Shook the headphones off. Oh, it got me. What took you to Japan? I just wanted to go. Me too. Yeah. Yeah, I've never been. Did you guys go together?

No. We made a pack. We're a couple as long as we're in Japan. We part ways at the airport. Did you go with anyone? I went with a friend, yeah. Okay. So what was you like, what was the best thing that you saw when you were there?

In Japan. Yeah. Like where did you go to a round or was it just Tokyo? You know, I did like the cliche. I did Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka. And then we went for two days to a place called Kinosaki to like an onsen city. Okay. What was the best thing?

And Graham knows what onsen means. Sure, it means Enzo. It's like hot springs. I did it the wrong way. I'm supposed to be like, I, of course, I know what that's going to mean. Graham does know. Yeah. So, tell me.

And I'm really ignorant. So I'm actually the idiot. I'm actually pretty ignorant towards Japanese culture. We're discovering. It's like a hot spring city. This one's a thousand years old. And it was very cute. But I think the best thing, monkeys.

Monkeys. Tell me all about it. In every, everywhere you went. Not everywhere, but some. Like wild? Yeah. Okay. I've never, ever seen a monkey.

A wild monkey? Yeah, I've seen wild monkeys in Costa Rica. I've seen them as well in Costa Rica. Wow, I guess that's something you have over Graham. Yeah. That's true. Certainly not your knowledge of Japanese infrastructure. Huge knowledge of Costa Rican culture.

I went there in 1993. Oh, okay. Yeah. And, you know, we were. So, like, Grunge was just really taken over there. Grunge was over, man. Kurt, Kurt had just died. Oh, so that was, I guess, the...

No, maybe he was on the verge. Yeah. I didn't, I always forget I never checked in with Kurt on that Costa Rican trip. We didn't see those monkeys. And what do you... And I drank pop out of a bag because the people selling it wanted the bottles for themselves. Oh. Oh.

Like, do people feed them? Are they a nuisance? Costa Ricans? Yeah, people feed them. But what? I can eat pretty much anything. You and I, they have different words for a lot of the stuff. Can I just say, I just got mad at you and said, Graham.

Good. I feel like a stressed mom, Graham. I mean, Dave, whatever you name is. Whatever. Did your parents ever do that? Oh, yeah. My mom did all. Four kids.

But, like, it would get to the point of, like, she didn't remember any of our names, actually. Where were you in the? I'm the, I was supposed to say the bottom of four. You're the bottom of four. I am the last. You were the baby. Yeah. And what is I was, I'm first, Dave, your third?

Baby of four. Baby of four. Yeah. We're not so different, you and I. We're not so different. I don't know why we have. You both have seen monkeys. We both have been to Costa Rica.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. But monkeys just wild. Just wild monkeys. Huh. What do? Oh, yeah. Okay, wait, there's one place in Kyoto where, like...

They have domesticated monkeys working in the 7-11. That would be amazing. That would be incredible. But no, there's like a place... Oh my God, I'm going to butcher it. Is it Rashiama, I think? Sure. Anyway, you can climb to the top of a mountain.

And because the University of Kyoto has been studying the monkeys there, they are essentially semi-domesticated, although not at all. Like, they're so adamant, like, do not look the monkeys in the eye. do not get near them. Wow. And I swear to you, I didn't. I really didn't. But one of them still came at me and I immediately went, I didn't touch it.

I didn't go near it. I didn't look at it. I didn't break any of the rules. When you said it came at you, what was it like? It, like, attacked me. Oh, okay. Like, they rush you because they're like trying to assert dominance. They're not trying to like, they don't like go through your bag.

They would. They would probably if you, you're not supposed to bring food up there. But I'm hungry. But I got to bring my tweets. I got one of these. I swear my tweets didn't twerk the monkey. You can have like oatmeal in a plastic bag because they want to say the bottles with them. What's the best thing you ate?

Bottle of oatmeal? What the fuck? Okay. I have two answers to that. And like the maybe classier answer is there was like a ramen I had in Kyoto that was just like so good. And the lotus root was cooked really perfectly in it. That's my problem. I always overcooked the lotus roots.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. I've had it before and he does. Graham eats and he's like, Dave, is this a chodotis root? Yeah, is this Yeah, is this a Cajun-style lotus root?

My real answer, though, honestly, genuinely was you could go to 7-11 and get packaged Onagiri, but I don't eat, I don't eat meat or seafood or, like I'm a vegetarian, but they have like a plain salted rice one and I eat it every day and I could eat it

every day for the rest of my life. Now Graeme knows what an onigiri is. Yeah. Graham does it You don't And it's just It's like a rice ball That you put stuff in

I'm You know simplifying Was it okay over there Being vegetarian? Like was easy to find stuff Yeah That little town was sort of like What?

Yeah Because they're like a seaside town I'm sorry you don't want The delicacy that people Come here for And then they blow off like A box of crackers Like

We'll serve a these We found like a restaurant where we were like, could you make us something? And they're like, no, we don't have that. And then we're like, no problem. And we left. And then the owner like chased us out into the street and was like, yeah, I realize you could just take the meat out of the thing. I didn't know. I can just make you a noodle dish that just doesn't have. My kids, as we were driving to school this morning, my kids asked me, what is the most eaten food in the world? And they'll do these things where it sounds like a trivia question, but they don't know. They just want to

I would bet eggs. Oh, eggs is good. I would bet eggs? We kind of discussed it might be... Or rice. Rice or bread or chicken. Chicken is the... Chicken is the most animal.

He is the most animal in the world. And then monkey is the least animal. Monkey is the least animal. There's barely any meat on a monkey. When you say least, do you mean least amount of them? Yeah. Or least amount of meat on their both? Yeah.

But most people eat monkey. Yeah, yeah. They're just like very unsatisfied. They put the tail on an ice cream cone. They run it up like that. What? Listen, it's not my culture. They're not it up like that.

What do you mean? Sorry, I didn't get. They run it up like that. They put the tail. I know you're miming. It doesn't mean anything to me. And here I thought you appreciated the art of mime. I am an improviser.

Did you? a while ago we had a guest on the podcast that was going to study clown. She was going to go to study clown. Have you ever studied anything like that? Is you an improviser? Yeah. You've been an improviser forever. Yeah.

I've taken like three clown workshops ever. And I took one actually this past year with Edda Judakia. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. We love her. No. The funniest person on the planet.

But you, Yeah, she was taking one, so I was like, oh, I should take it to. And so we did, like, a weekend with a guy who was a great teacher. Okay. I feel like I want to shout him out, but I'm about to say that a bunch of other people in the class were freaks. So it's like, oh, I shouldn't. Because they'll be able to echo locate. Oh, I was one of those people.

Well, just to assume his name was Bozo or Black Bayesian. Unrelated to his cloud name. He's just Italian. It was blippy. It was blippy. It was, I would say, like, the instructor of the clown was great. It was so cool. But, but, yeah, there's a lot of it that I think maybe I can't get on board with.

Like, they bang a little gong and again. I'm like, what? Oh, like, you do something, they're like. Yeah, well, that's one of the ones. It's like, apparent that, I think he's dead now, but that, like, really famous clown guy His whole thing was like never laugh, never react, but he would just sort of bang a gong and then go faster and faster. You have to be like, more clown.

Oh, I'm mimming a monkey ice cream cone. There you go. See? It goes up like that. Whoa. And the ice cream cone slipped. And I go, wow, wow, wow. Gone.

Do it again. Faster. Again. Ha ha ha ha. I wait, I don't laugh. Yeah, I think, I know someone who did make him laugh once and it was by accident. and he, like, immediately went back into character. That's got to be huge in the corner.

He's in character as a guy teaching clown? I think so. I think a bit it's like, because their thing also is, like, they break you down. It depends on the type of clown, like Bufant Clown, I think is the meanest. And what do you mean they break you down? They're just like, they're not funny. Nothing you do is fun. It's like you're supposed to like embrace the fail.

I've been doing that whole. I know, I know. But they also want. want you to be sad about it. Oh, sure. You haven't been doing that part of it. Yeah, you go in thinking it's Bufant clown, but it's a sad clown. You come out in the class poliachi's. I did, I did find a lot of, a lot of weird. Tell us about the freaks. Oh, yeah. Mr. Blepo's class. Mr. Blepo? Teacher. They're all touching me. They're being freaks. There was, there was an exercise, though, that was like, it's like pretty simple, and I've done it in other places, but fun to do where it's like, don't laugh.

And then everybody's trying to make you laugh, but the rules are don't touch. Oh, these two people get breaking the rules with me. And I don't like being touched by strangers. I don't like being touched by my loved ones. I know. I saw how you treated your dogs upstairs. It was sad. It's sad.

They're not allowed to touch. No touch. No touching. No, you're lovely Don't worry everybody Dave's good to his dogs Yes They're very happy

They're very happy Is it like a thing where Like did you go with a friend to this class Well with Bita Oh yeah right So like it was nice A friend to all A friend to all

Who was genuinely the funniest And Bita is a funny comedian person Yeah And does Do improv Yeah But More of a writer now

But were there people there who are just like, this is my one thing, I'm just going, I'm just a freak and I just want to do one climb, yeah, and break all the touching rules. Some of them have, like, done the same classes, which totally fair. That's how you should do it. But also it's like, oh, you're not here to learn. You're here to be a little freak. And, like, I think for some of them, no offense.

They're just like so deeply unfunny, period. I said no offense. No offense. They're so deeply unfunny. Okay. All offense, I guess. Total offense. But I think that there's like an element where they're like, I'm allowed to not be funny.

And it's like, yeah. Because the teacher's not going to laugh anyway. You should still try. They're like, no, it's funny because I'm not funny. And it's like, no, you haven't like subverted comedy. You're just not funny. It's weird. that, because you said it's normal or good to go back to the same class.

Like, you don't do it once and then go, I've done every, like, I've learned everything. I see. You know, like, if they go back. You go back. Yeah. You go to a pottery class. It would be over. I graduated from pottery.

Now I'm doing blowing glass. But there's, like, graduated classes. There are more advanced things you can take or like people will come. But yeah, I guess. Like, again, I don't know that much. But I did find a lot of them, I was like, I don't know how to explain it. it's like, yeah, it's fine if you're not funny. It's fine if you're failing, but they're also not listening or learning.

They're just kind of there. It's like, I don't know, it just felt very masturbatory. Yeah, my favorite clowns do that. I listen and learn every time. Mr. Blepho's, they're masturbating. And then, yeah, when they finish, they go, Ouga. Or, hong, yeah.

Water squirts out of their flower. Oh, God. Well, come on. I didn't like that. Oh, wow. Okay, a wuga. They go a wuga. Whatever.

We're all just, God's children. How do you think you got here? We all got here because the flowers corded water. As a youth, did you... Oh, here's another bit.

Go on. Yeah. After they finish masturbate. Go on. They have like a long handkerchief that they pull out of their sleeve to, you know, tidy up. It's good That's what you were saying

I can't remember what I say It doesn't matter So it's been It's been a couple of years Yeah We've seen you Yeah we were just trying to figure that out Well it's been many years

Since we've seen you In person It's a long time, yeah Free Pandemmo Yeah And you You've lived in Toronto How long?

11 years now Holy shit Yeah Is that crazy Like do you feel like It's not been that long? It feels crazy Yeah yeah yeah

Sometimes I'm like It feels way longer and then sometimes it feels like two years. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a sizable portion. I mean, I'm only 21. Yeah, that's true. You moved there when you were 10. It's a lot of my life.

I'm only a beautiful, beautiful young 21-year-old. Well, you're the youngest in the family. I also hate that joke, by the way. I hate when people like, because ain't 10. Okay. But you have to, that person could be a lunatic. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

No, you're right. their age or whatever. Yeah. Have some respect for the people who are Forever 21, I guess. You are in Toronto. You're on stage every night. Practically. You're killing it at the comedy bar.

Killing it. Well, yeah, I do. I mean, I have nice time every Wednesday, which I do with my friend Dan Byrne. Pass guest. Past guest. Incredible actor. Very, very good. And then, like, you know, did a bunch of other shows like Catch 23 and Crush City and, you know.

I still teach. Nice. I'm still an actor. Do you ever get randos showing up to your classes you teach? What do you mean by randos? Like the randos who show up to the clown glass? Yes. Yes.

Yes. And you have to say this is a no-touch class. In fact, literally, literally one of those frames. And I'm going to be so careful so I don't get fired. You know what? We don't have to talk about it. But you know what? You'll be able to tell it.

The class photo is the only one wearing a reddose. The class photo. Only one wearing a red nose is touching the teacher. When I show up to take an improv class, first thing I do is, when's the class photo? Yeah, and we're doing individual photos as well. And follow-up question, how much can I touch the teacher? Yeah, the answer is, have you seen those videos of gear shift?

No, this is not changing the teacher. Oh, okay. This is about touching the teacher. Oh. It's like when kindergarten kids go to their class, they read it by the teacher and there's like a strip of like things they can point to a pictogram of like I want a high five. I want to shake hands. I want to hug. I want to.

Nothing. Fist bump. I want to smile. I want to climb on the teacher's shoulder. Yeah. Go to a concert. I want to be the crang in their stomach. Because there's just one that's other, and you can just be like, let your imagination run wild.

I want his wallet. I want my teacher's wallet. I was re-watching the Oasis live movie, live concert movie. In the theater again? No, no. It's on Disney Plus now. I went to the Oasis live. Yeah, this is feeling like something you might.

Because I was trying to remember the very funny thing that Liam's, said at one point. But I couldn't. But there was, there was someone, there were people in the audience on people's shoulders. Yeah. And, and they were like so excited. And there was another, like, one person was so excited. And they were like right next to someone else who was so excited.

And they hugged. And I was just thinking how awkward that must have been for the people holding them up. Yeah. It's, uh, it's, I feel like that's really antisocial to putting people on your shoulders at a concert because you're blocking. You're blocking. I mean, not putting someone. That's like to be the person on the shoulders, you're blocking.

Yeah. If you're having someone up there, it's very selfless. That's true. Yeah. I remember an active service. Grade 10, grade 11, I went to a hooty in the blowfish concert. Who opened for them? I feel like it might have been, no, some band that I want to say it was Dylan Fentz,

who was, but that might be the name, that might be a thing he says and I only want to be with you. Anyway, the guy from Fujif 40 came out. Oh, nice. And they sang,

I go blind together. That's fun. And then I just remember because a woman was on her boyfriend's shoulders and showed her boobs. Oh, that's nice.

Classic. Hell of yeah. Completely stole focus from the blowout. Like, we all tried to keep watching the band, but,

huh. Well, you got two hooties to choose from. Which one is you going for? Which one am I going for? I choose that hooty. Oh, you mean.

Like we're hooters. No, no, but like. Are you watching hooty? Yeah, are you watching? Which I assume is the real name of the singer of the band. And I choose not to challenge on that. But then she's got two hoodies of her own. So I really have three hoodies to choose.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, I would look at both of them. Yeah. Help us all Go to the front of the stage and then turn around so we can see both.

We can look at both. Was she flashing? The band. The lead singer. But everybody. Yeah. Not specifically. Not Darius Rucker.

Yeah. There was no. Although I wonder like, because being on stage now, you can only see like the first like 10 rows. Yeah. Unless you have super spectacles in which case. Go as far back as you want.

I'll be able to see it. And I was right at the front, of course. Or can I ask, and I do feel I can ask. You go? How big were her breath? I don't remember. Because if they're pretty big, maybe we can, maybe 20 worlds back, you know?

Oh, sure, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I, like, they definitely could see her. Yeah, but I'm surprised. It would be funny if they, like, missed a couple lyrics in the song. Every channel, whoa. Them. Everybody turn around.

Hold me running Oh, Whoa! Suddenly a bunch of scarves Shoot out of their pants. They're clowns now? I think he is insane clown posse

the number one clown band That a clown would go to. Got to. Clown band that a clown would go to. Yeah. Like that clowns would be like You gotta see them live. I feel like it's...

I mean, is Gwar not... Oh, yeah, Gwar's kind of clowny. There's a certain pageantry there. Yeah. Very cloudy. Yeah, I think I'll accept Gore as a... And they're always on tour. Yeah, that's their whole thing.

I like their studios, stuff. But I also want... It would be very easy for them to not be on tour and just bring in people and get them to sing a backing track. Oh, they had their lead singer died and they did a show the next night. But yeah, they did a show the next night. But yeah, they... They had a guy, a new guy coming in that has udders.

Is that for real? Yeah. Yeah. It was like 15 years ago maybe. Well. The show must go on. Corporate greed. Yeah.

We're all replaceable. Thanks a lot, Guar. When somebody says they can't do the tour for whatever reason, I feel like, do you feel like you feel like you should do a video instead of just writing a thing? What do you mean? When some, like, when one member can't or? No. When a band can.

When a band can. Yeah, like you feel like it's just writing a note is inauthentic and you deserve the video as a city that's not going to get to see the concert. Oh, but they're still going on tour. They're just not coming to your city. Yeah, yeah, like the concert in Charleston. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we're not going to go to Charleston. So we're all going to do like a very emotional, imagine, Galgadotte, imagine.

Oh, that was the dumbest thing. Yeah, there were a couple of them, weren't there? I don't remember. I remember. The original one she initiated. Yeah. Literally, she, like, got all the celebs to do it. And then there was one.

I feel like Silverman was in it, which I thought was out of place. Well, I mean. I kind of put her on a higher shelf. Dan Aykroyd was in We Are the World. Yeah, that's true. But I don't put him on a very high shelf. I mean, blues-wise. Yeah, I put his vodka on a pretty high shelf.

Nice. Got to keep my skull-obsessed children away from it. I didn't talk to her, but Sarah Silverman was backstage. like two weeks ago. Oh, yeah? Did she do show? Yeah, she was about to do hers. It was JFL to Run.

Oh, you should talk to her. You should have been like, my friend Dave has the same birthday as you. I should have. Oh, damn. Damn, I should have interrupted her writing her set. Hey, hey, hey. To tell her that.

You probably want to know this. December 1st. Oh, that's your birthday too. No, my friend Dave. Yeah, my friend Dave. Yeah. And Woody Allen. Oh, oh.

Good company. Funny birthday. Richard Pryor as well. Oh, really? Oh, shit, okay. That is a funny birthday. Bet Midler. She's funny?

She's very funny. She's got jokes. Do you, you didn't talk to her, get a photo? No. Do you ever get a photo? I have never. You got one with Dustin Diamond. That's true, and I paid money for it.

Don't know where it is, though. That was a Polaroid. I once paid to get photos with William Shatner and Not George Dickay Leonard Nimoy Oh wow Like decades ago though like at a convention But that's like that counts

I forgot you were a Star Trek head Yeah not so much anymore It feels like I don't keep up with any of my own interest Are you not into any of the new ones What about Picard? Did you like Picard? Do you like Star Trek? No I still dabble

I still doubt. What are the new ones called? Well, there's, what is it, Brave New World? Of course is United. SVU. No, I do, I think like there's still some great ones out there. I just, yeah, don't keep up. You said you've lost interest in your interest.

What's your favorite? I said it's hard to give up with my own interest, which I realize it's sort of a cry for help. Is the next generation your favorite? No, the original series. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But I do think next generation is very good.

And then also I really liked Voyager. Which was the one with Janeway? Oh. Was that Voyager or Deep Space Nine? I like both. I did like both. I feel like they got some fun characters. Abby's family always has like little nicknames for people.

Okay. A little sort of like. Enzo? Like, so anyway, this character Janeway, they call Jainway. And the character is 7 of 9. They call 6 of 9. Nice.

It's a good nickname. Just wrong? Just slightly wrong. Well, I mean, it's like 69. Oh. I didn't even get that. Oh, well, you'll get it when you're older. Yeah.

What interests have you completely just put to the side? Oh, are we doing this, Grimm? Oh, my God. Okay. I mean, I don't know. I feel like I'm not a very... You know, like, some people have, like, good concrete hobbies? Yes.

I don't ever feel like I've really been that person. Like, I don't have, like, sports or... I don't know, like, I don't like paint. Yeah. But I'm the same. Like, I don't know where the hours go. Where? Yes.

But I know they're not doing anything. Yeah, I don't have anything to show for it. Yeah. Especially if you do just live shows all the time and you don't record them, you're just like this, there's no legacy to this. This just vanishes into thin air. No, truly, though. Like, I think about that all the time.

Like, I'm doing some of my best work for 50 people and I'm never doing it again. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't even mean that to sound like arrogant or whatever, but sometimes I'll do a show where I'm like, I just did the funniest thing I've ever done. Yeah. Yeah. I'm never going to do that again.

And then, but you just, you don't quit. Like a little room, I don't quit. A little room in a basement. Yeah, I mean. It's a nice room. But like, I, what, I mean, the idea of, like, having a thing to show for it is, I feel like rare in a hobby. Unless you're like, well, I'm paid to go my miniatures. And when I die, my children will be.

Well, okay. I want to put all the casket. Yeah. Okay, like my sister, like, can crochet. And used to make all of her own Halloween costumes. Or like my mom also has like tangible skills and hobbies. And I'm like, what are mine? Yeah.

Like sometimes I like to plan a trip I'm never going to take. Huh. And I'll spend like three hours. Making an itinerary for something that I'm never going to do and I know I'm not going to do. Why won't you do it? It's just for fun of planning. I know, but you went to Japan. Yeah, I'm capable of traveling.

Oh, okay. But I mean, like, once a week I'll be like, yeah, what if I went to, I don't know, like, what if I went to the Maldives? Let me look up the flights. Let me look up the hotels. Oh, this is not what I imagined at all. I thought it would be all malls. I thought it was named after all the malls they have. Yeah, I get that.

I get that where it's fun to, like, research a thing for a couple hours. Okay. And if I'm being honest, I guess, like, some hobbies that I used to have, like, I used to go thrifting a lot. lot and now I'm like oh I'm so tired and thrift is so over and it's so over it's now it's expensive now it's so expensive it used to be that's where you'd go no more fines no more fines and everything you have to go far far out and there's so much like uh like fast fashion that just shows up in these store's like okay that's the wildest thing where I'm like you know when I was younger it's like oh this is amazing this is like made in Canada

It's handmade stuff. It's interesting. It's 30 years old. It's, yeah, like, and then I'm, you know, sometimes you go now and it's like, this is literally Sheehan, or however you say it. This is like, you know, like. Like that's, sheen's like, is it the cheapest? It's literal, like Timo of, like, it's like literal fast fashion. Like somebody bought this for $8.

I'm not even exaggerating. Yeah. That's the kind of stuff sometimes where it's like, what? Or you can tell because they've ripped a lot of the tags. out that it's like, I'm not spending $30 on this t-shirt or shirt or whatever, this little thing that I'm like, I, not that it needs, like, if I like it, I'll buy it. It doesn't need to carry a specific brand or, like a clout or cachet. But also it's like, don't fucking scam us.

Yeah. Don't rip the tag off of a thing that you know was purchased originally for under $10. Yeah. Well, that's like, Value Village somehow, they get their first, their first on the scene of, they go to any of the kind of, like, bin shopping and stuff like that. And then, who, they overcharge, but still, I still go. They still go. I still spend the money. You're addicted. Like, finding a deal, like finding a fun shirt. I love finding a fun shirt. Yeah. Find it like a cool little book, you know, like some kind of fun little book. You know, something from the humor section. Dave Barry. My kids were playing, oh God, this isn't really an overheard

because it was a thing that they said to me, but they were laughing. They were on their iPad. One of them, I forget which kid it was. I got so many these days. And they were saying that they were like stressed out. They're like,

people are leaving books all over the floor. Like, what are you talking about? Oh, I'm playing a library game on my iPad. Why are the people leaving books on the floor in their simulated library game? And she said, oh, and one time I found a humor book in the crime section. I do love that that's a game. It's like your health bar goes down if people are too loud. You got to quiet them down or you lose a life.

A guy who was using the public computer for something private. What's it like, what's an occupation that you think would make a good video game? Like a librarian, that's to me, I would never have thought of it. I mean, obviously, you're firemen, your paramedics, your doctors. I would go with like architect because you get to design a building and then you get to fight with City Hall about. Yeah. Also, if you do it wrong, maybe the building. falls down.

Yeah. Good, good stakes. I don't know, man. I think maybe gas station. I was going to say, I was going to say to meet this store. Yeah, yeah, like. They have that.

They have that's a game? There's a, there's every kind of game. I guess that's true. But there is a game where it's like zombies can come in, but you're, so you're like mostly selling stuff to normal people, and then you have to figure out if they're zombies.

Oh, and then you're like, I got brains behind the counter, but you have to know what you have to know to ask for them. They're with the zins. I just like, I, when I, I worked retail when I was younger, and it's a nightmare. Yeah.

Where'd you work? I worked at... Oh, my God. Every question I asked is like... Why am I reflecting on my life game? I'm afraid to reveal something today. No, no, no, no. I don't care.

Well, I, like, used to work... Actually, do you remember famously... Not famously. I worked in a lot of places. I worked at London drugs. I worked at American Apparel. I used to work at this, like, weird Thai shop, as in Thailand. like things we can.

Oh, okay. But I did use to work at American Apparel. And one time on this podcast, I admitted that I had stolen from American Apparel. And I got a Facebook message from a girl being like, a woman I'd never met. Oh, no. And she's like, I listened to the podcast. And I was like, okay. She was like, I heard what you said about American Apparel.

And I was like, okay. And I, she were like threatened to out me. And I don't. It's fine. Yeah. I don't. They got out at furors. Yeah.

They went out of business because someone stole a pair of shorts. That's true. It was something that tipped up. Nothing, nothing that the, you know, head of the company did. The founder did. But I've worked a lot of different retail, but people are nightmares. The people are a nightmare. They're nightmares.

Yeah. I've always, you know how in certain countries. Retail nightmares, that's a great idea. Huh. Huh. Hmm. Hmm. You know, in certain countries where you have to do like a year's military service, everybody should have to do.

A year retail or restaurant. One year restaurant. One or the other. Because I haven't worked in a restaurant, but I can understand how it would be awful. But I was always jealous of the people who did work in restaurants because at least you could get tips. And they're all fucking each other. Yeah, that's exactly. And they're all hotter.

They're doing lines of Coke and having sex. Yeah. Meanwhile, my German boss is crapping me. behind the desk so he can play me folk songs in his guitar. That sounds too specific to be made up. Oh, my God. Yeah. He used to literally, like, I was like a captive audience in a small store.

Were they German folk songs? They were like, um, some of them were like good, like, you know, English, in English? Yeah, good. When I say good, I mean in English. Yeah. That's what I meant. Normal.

Normal. Not wrong. Yeah. But no, mostly in English, but just, yeah. That's, I've, has Sally, if she ever had somebody serenade her, and she has, similarly, couldn't get out. You can't get out. They can't get out of it. Yeah. And they're like, they're just, you can't ask because they're just in, they're singing.

And it was, so it was like, there was only one entrance into the, like, desk. So it was like on three sides. and I was on the far right and he was blocking the only exit while I was like sitting on a little stool while he, like, I don't think he's trying to be a pervert but it's like he's got his leg up

so he's like crotch to my eye level and then like, in the answers in the wind I love that song. Listen to the song of the nature. And you're like, I'm trying to sell these retro ringer teas to the people.

here at American Prout. That's cool. Awful. It was awful. I mean, it's memorable, but. Yeah. It's just everything about a front-faced job is so embarrassing and horrible. But restaurants are probably better than retail.

I mean, it's just sexier. And you can spit in the food. Yeah, that's true. You can't spit in someone's. There's almost nothing you can do. Yeah. One, I think I might. I must have told this on maybe this podcast or another before, I guess.

But my enemy still to this day is somebody named A. Corrillo. A gorilla. A gorilla. And I know that because they came into the store. They asked what the difference between the small and large version of something was. And I answered so honestly, I was like, size. You morrow? I was just like, oh, yeah, one's bigger.

and this woman got so mad at me. He was like, no, what is the difference? I was like, one is bigger and one is smaller. And then I, like, genuinely, I still wasn't trying to be rude, but I was like, so, um, so size is a thing that measures the amount of space. And she got so angry she left and, like, called the store to complain about me. And I was like... I'm a carillo.

Well, I saw it on the, I saw it on the, whatever called display. And anyway, I got so mad. I just started playing acid jazz into the phone every time she called back. She called back. She called back. She's calling the store over and over. But I was the one answering. And she's like, give me your message number.

But he was out of town and he had had his number. He was back in Thailand. But it was like forwarded to the store. So everything she tried was like just coming back to me. And I would pick up. And if I heard her voice, I would just play like screamingly loud acid jazz. And she got very mad. I wonder where she is to this day.

Dead. I hope she came into the store. Yeah, I don't know. So, like, I mean, that's the thing you can ask if you email the company. Hey, you don't have the sizes listed on your website. Yeah. But you're in store. I just be like, hold them up.

And I told, I gave her the dimensions. I, I didn't. Oh, you gave her the, because. To this day, I do not know what she was asking. Because if, like, if you're just saying, if you're giving the definition of size. I can see her being like, no. It was right in front of her, and then I was like, oh, maybe she just wants the numbers. I told her.

I gave her every bit of information, and she still was like, no, what is the devil? I couldn't. I didn't get it. Weird. I didn't get it. I would have pretended to be the manager on the phone. Hello. I stand by my employees.

You are out of line, lady. Yeah. Here we believe one size fits all. So, um. Do you want to hear me please a message? That is a very funny way to deal with it. I couldn't, because you can't be mean. You can't be like, fuck you.

Yeah. You can. You can. You can. You can. And I'm sure I have. Yeah. I'm trying to think.

Have I ever been like that? Are you trying to get fired from this podcast, Graham? Uh, let me just play some. jazz for you. I just find some ass of jazz. No, I want to work here for life. I'm a lifer.

This is, what do you say, 971? Yeah. That is a lifetime. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. There were little kids that are now adults, voting adults. Yeah, it's true.

A kid could have been born the day our first episode came out. Okay, you know how on drag race, sometimes there are like contestants, competitors who are like, are now on the show but started watching the show when they were kids. Yeah.

Do you think that there will be somebody who listened to your podcast who became a comedian who ends up on? Oh, there have been. Not as kids, but like, there's definitely people who, before they started comedy, knew the show. Okay. Yeah, but not as kids. I guess not, maybe. I want, like, I want someone who, like, you know, was wearing a little blanket as a child going, and this show's kind of inappropriate for kids.

We talk about cloud masturbation. I'd like to be on the show where they talk. about a clown coming. My German son. How are you talking like that? It's funny on this way, pop. And anyone out there playing this in the car with the kids in the back seat, turn it off. Yeah.

Oh, be better. Yeah. Switch on, be best. Was that Kamala? Wasn't it? What is Melania? Oh, you're right. Be best.

Papa, I'd like to be best. Kamala. You got Kamala and Melania mixed up? Oof. Yeah. Because I think all women are good. I support all women in all politics. Oh, God.

What was I going to ask? Yep, it's gone. It's gone. You have lived in Toronto for 11 years. Yeah. You, what do you love about Toronto? Oh, my God. Okay, I would have said if this was a couple of,

years ago, I would have said Ontario place because I genuinely, it was my favorite place, but they, like, raised it. What was it? They, like, it was where you could go and wander around. There was, like, a little, I don't really even understand what it was, but it was down to the water and, like, it has, like, a weird old band, or had, a weird old abandoned mine. And then there was, like, walking around the water, there was, like, trees in a little beachy area. And then I think you could go and watch concerts. Like, it's near Budweiser Stadium or whatever they call. Is that the one that fell apart? The Butterweiser Stadium? No, I think it was even bigger than that. What is the one that fell apart? Oh, maybe it was a Rogers one that fell apart in the weather. Yeah, yeah.

And that massive storm that I forgot we had that was actually terrifying. Yeah. Actually, that was terrifying. Yeah, like a couple months ago. Yeah. And it's just like they. And this stadium wasn't old. This was like a new stadium.

I was like helping a friend shoot something and he lives actually. two minutes from me. And I couldn't leave because the storm was so bad that it was like unsafe to walk across, like walk kitty corner basically. Yeah, it's scary, man. We live in a very weathery world. Yeah. We do live in a weathery world.

I used to live in Ontario Place, but it's gone now. It got, they got ripped down so they could build a spa. Oh, that's the spa. Yeah, yeah, the third. Let's go to the spa. No. Graham, let's do the spa. I would never go to mine.

No. Dave and I'll get a couple's massage We can talk while we're getting rubbed down No I always talk while I'm getting rubbed down Don't do it there Giving them directness Yeah lower

And now the front I just like that Toronto's a bit scrappy It's a bit It's kind of like everything a little bit Yeah You know like Vancouver's always Everybody's like my team move And I'm like yeah great question

Like Vancouver's way prettier But Toronto just has more Toronto's got a bit of an attitude Toronto's cool we love Toronto Yeah We're in this Seen this podcast Yeah

What do you Gone out What do you love about Toronto Oh wow I like all the Comedy places you can go to There's so many and so many different types Yeah I do love that too

And I like the Toronto slang Sledding Slang Oh Okay I've seen those videos of... I have. Do people really talk like that there?

They do if you, like, go not... If you're, like, out and you see teens. Yeah, but it's like... You might get called a Gerbert or a Desnon. Is this is Toronto specific this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You mean, like, like Scarborough-esque, like... I don't know.

Two-two-man's... Two-two is my word. I don't. I don't... I'm not even going to try. I don't think it's Scarborough. I think it's everyone. Don't.

But you will hear kids. But I was on here this week, I was on the bus going to another Vancouver place getting shut down, Bayside Lounge. Oh, yeah. That's a douche, 75 years. But I was on my way there and there was an Italian teenager actually. Inzo. Exchange student I gathered from the conversation. But there was like four of these boys and they kept, they were calling a friend going to a party and they're like, don't wear that outfit or you're going to get taxed.

I'm going to tax you. And I was like, oh, I haven't heard this one. But apparently it's like, you're going to be in trouble. I'm going to tax you. Yeah. That makes sense. That's good slang. You're going to get taxed.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, they pay for a lot of the things. I guess that's why it's really bad. It's forcing a teen to face adult consequences. Well, although they probably enjoy the fruits of those taxes. They're not ready for it yet, Dave. That's the problem.

They're not ready to enjoy free health care. they're not ready to pay into it. Although now you're giving an idea, yeah, kids paying into the system. They're also taking out of it, right? Sure. Yeah. How do you want them to pay in? You know, work at a face, front facing.

Oh, their one-year mandatory service. Yeah. One-year mandatory job at Cookies by George. Oh, Dave, you couldn't let them kids work at Cookies by George. They need all the stock almost immediately. You'd see them go in one day with them. the jug of milk. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

what are you doing? They've got bags of milk taped to their legs underneath their pants. They just put a straw into their leg. Well, you're going to need a dip. That's true. Do you have a, like, because Cookies by George was a place in my head when I was young,

like, that would be an amazing place to work. Same with like the popcorn place. Colonels. Colonels. But I also thought working the little booth at a parkade was like that would be a good job. I spent years wanting to work in a toy store. Of course. Even as like a teen, it was like, or the Vancouver Aquarium when I was younger.

Okay. That'd be cool. Oh, for me it was. Oh, you can, they need people to test video games? Yeah, they do. And those people are very unhappy. Yeah, it's a, I can make a whole living out of playing games. Playing, well, you have to play the same level over and over again and try to make the game crash.

Oh, is that what people do? Yeah, it's not just trying to get, like, the best score. Do you have to be, I feel that I would be very good at that then. All right. You're good at video games? No. You're going to make me crash? I mean, I'd be good at just, like, playing it over and over.

Do you have to be good at it? I don't know. Because I could play a level over and over again because I never passed. them anyway. Well, there you go. That could be your Twitch stream. Is watching Nicole play this level again? It's just men hurling hate.

No, men wouldn't do that. No, you're right. On the internet? On the internet? Would you rather find a bear on the internet or a man? Think about it. A bear. Yeah, does a bear shit on the internet?

Oh, God. I hope so. It seems like the type of thing you can find on YouTube, you know? Yeah. If you had to do a Twitch stream, what would you do? I'd watch a movie. Okay. And just yak through it.

Yeah, people do that. I guess. I don't really understand. I know some, like, sexy women who watch scary movies. I know scary women who watch sexy movies. Oh. Goth girl watching Basic Instincters. Goth girls are so scary and not sexy at all.

I'm thinking more of like, like, you know, the barbarian underground woman. Yeah, oh, yeah, the mom. Yeah, a woman who was just trying to love her children. She's still scary. Women can be scary, too. Wow, really revealing what you think. Okay, who do you think is a scary woman? None.

A nun? You think nuns are scary? I guess I do. Actually, I guess I do. Wait, yeah, I didn't answer that question earlier, but I'm not into scary movies because I get so scared. But every once in a while I try to go as a way to, like, desensitize myself. Would you rather go to one in a theater or see what to help?

I usually do. I'd rather go to one in the theater because I love movies. Another one of my hobbies I've neglected. Not going to live... Live movies? No, I mean, I went to see Coyote v. Acme a week ago. But before that, the only... movie I had seen.

I had seen two movies in the span of like four months. And they were minions versus monsters. Saw it. Were and monsters? I don't know if they're versus. Minions and monsters. And a movie called Mutiny. Which has Jason Statham fighting on a boat.

You can figure out the plot of that fairly easily. He was an ex-service man. Like something that brings him back and he has a, oh, he kills so many people. It's that he, yeah, something brings him back, and it's that he's like the bodyguard for a guy who dies. But the through line is human trafficking. Oh, okay. He's like saving a bunch of people. It's sort of the through line of the transporter series as well.

Also. Yeah, but he's not in that. But he's not in that. Gotcha. Supergirl had like an element of trafficking. I didn't see it. It's not very good. It's not very good.

It's not very good. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Okay. It was kind of, I was like, I mean, that's a good way to make a character evil. Is that if that's what they do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pretty good cheat code. You don't have to.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't really have to write much else about them. What if he also says a cat, though? Hmm. Interesting. Complicated guy. Huh.

No, you're right. You're right. Thanks. And it's a woman. So they can be bad. The cat is a woman or the human trafficker? Uh-huh. Here's the twist, both.

Both. Oh, shit. Whoa. Yeah, it's one of those things where it was like, I thought people hated it because they're, you know, internet trolls and any super girl. Yeah. But then when you watch it, you're like,

actually is not very good. That's always frustrating a little bit because it's like. When the trolls are right? When the trolls are right. It's a bit frustrating. Yeah, I didn't want to believe it, but watching it, it was like, when men say something. thing involving a woman is bad, I want to believe they're wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my bias, you know? I mean, it's tough, though, because, like, you'd think that these men would be wrong because these superhero movies just keep getting better and better. So how could this one be bad? Oh, I went to see, what's that really awful one? Is it called Craven?

Oh, Craven the Hunter? He, like, turns into, he has, like, the skills of an animal. Yeah. Yeah. We went to that, me and some friends. friends. You do have hobbies. Well, I was there with a bunch of friends, but Dan made a joke that for some reason I thought was very funny.

But just as the movie was about to start, or like the previews were starting, he said, it's Craven Time. And I laughed really hard. The delivery. It was great. But I laughed, and a man in front of me whipped his head around and, like, scowled at me and was like, be quiet. All the men, I was with other men. All of them were talking. Only one he got mad at was me.

And it was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm ruining Craven the hunter for you. The movie hasn't even started, but yeah, he was deadly serious about it. And he was like, my mother once went to your store and asked about the size. I know who you are. The thing about Craven and also, Adam Webb, is that what it was called? That's the other term. I haven't seen it.

And also, was the Jared Letto one? Yeah, the Jarlettel. They're all Spider-Man characters, but they're not allowed to say Spider-Man because it's two different companies. Yeah. So you're like, but that's the only reason this character exists. Yeah. Yeah. We saw Madam Webb in the theater.

You did? Yeah, I saw it with Margo and we got the D-Box seats. Oh, fun. No. No. I was nauseous. I had to turn mine off. I'm at the worst height for D-Box.

It just bashes the back of my neck. Or like my lower cranium. That's pretty common. The people in front of us, someone was on their shoulders in the D-box. And you're like, I'm trying to watch the screen, but check out what's going on over here. Check out of her double D-box. Double D-box. I feel like they had, they were like, oh, Mrs. Parker, you're having a child.

Yes. Yeah, I'm pregnant with a child. And then later they're like, I'll name him Peter. Yeah. But they can't say Peter and Parker in the same. scene. Yeah. I mean, I only saw, I only saw that one.

I should watch the Jared Lito one because I've heard it's like, I've heard it's like, I've heard it's like, terrible. Yeah. But that was the one where they, the trolls had the online campaign and saying like, we love it. More, more is. Trying to get it to stay in theaters longer.

And it worked. Yeah. Still in theater. I would be happy if the last movie Jared Lotto ever made was the Masters of the universe. If that was the last thing that he ever made, perfect. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I haven't seen it. No, you want more? Oh, you want more. I want him to do it until

his legs give out. Well, I want him to stop doing movies so he can focus his energy on his colds. Oh, sure. And have sex with more women. I guess that's what I know. Yeah, I do know. I want him to try to, like, we're so close to getting down to like 29 seconds to Mars if he just does a little more research. The travel time to Mars,

could just get shortened even less. Wait, is there another band that's five seconds to something? Or is it like five? Five seconds of summer? Hmm. That doesn't please you? No, I guess it doesn't. Oh, wow.

I don't know. It's just 30 seconds to Mars, five seconds of summer. We only got four minutes to save the world. If we get there before four Then yeah We'll take a matchbox winning Dave, what's going on with you, man? Guys, speaking of going to movies,

Graham and I went to a movie together. When is the last time we did that? Have we ever gone to a movie together before? Ever. I don't know. I go to most movies. This is, like, I told Graham, this is, I think, the first time since, like, in, like, seven or pre-pandemic, because it's before the pandemic, that I went to a movie either, I usually go alone or with a family member. Right.

So this is the first time I went. I feel honored. I've gone with another person who's not one of those people. What did you guys go to? Prime to the movie called Prime Time. Okay, yes. And. I haven't seen it yet, but.

And it was on, there's a local election. in the city and we both voted that day. Yep. So much pre-voting. So many opportunities. Love it. And I got to pre-vote at City Hall. And the lobby in City Hall is awesome.

It is nice. The only reason I went is because I wanted to see the inside of City Hall. And then he just spoiled my ballot. By drawing, I love City Hall. Thanks, everyone, for the tour of City Hall. On behalf of me, Graham. So Graham and I went. We both took the train there separately.

We met there. I bought Graham's ticket. He bought my popcorn. And then we got to our seats. I think that's fair. We were in the VIP adult seats. We're in the D-Box. For Bram to Brime back.

They show you like the emotional turmoil, the pedophile manner feeling. You jostled around. And I did a very funny. joke. He dave did a very funny joke. Did I say what it was? I brought from home some scissors.

You could tell it. You said, you held up the popcorn bag and the pair of scissors. He said, are you thinking what I'm thinking? And I pretended to cut the hole out of the bottom. Did you bring the scissors for this joke? Oh, I thought about it. A year ago. I was like, if I ever heard of a movie with Graham, I'm bringing scissors.

But it's the way you said. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh, it killed me. Yeah, it was good. And then we saw the movie. Did you like it? I did like it. It was something that you could easily not see in the theater, but I also just like.

Yeah, it's not epic. Yeah. But he's... Everything's better in the theater. It was fun to watch. I do agree with that. I do agree. And he's great.

He's great in it. And not a movie. It was like, because it's a show I remember. You remember it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. To catch a predator outside.

How about that? Catch me predator outside. How about that? And they talked. It was like, it starts in the middle of, like, the show exists. I kind of wanted more of an origin story. Yeah. Because I think it started, as far as I know, it started as a segment on.

Yeah. Yeah. So at this point, it's already its own show. It's going to prime time, and it's going up against Lost. Yeah. Okay. And the first thing, they hire a new guy to be the little boy. That's right.

And he's like, he shows up late the first day and he immediately has to face a predator. And the predator immediately takes his dick out. And it's, and then I looked up afterwards like, who was in this movie? Oh, the guy who takes his dick out, Jonathan Lipnicki? No. From Jerry McGuire. Yeah. Eight pounds kid,

yeah, human head weighs eight pounds. Yeah, and I texted Graham afterwards. I was like, that was Jonathan Lipnicki. And he said, and we saw his limp dicky.

Yeah, it was like, it only hit me watching the movie that there was a character that did that. There was just one guy who was chatting with hundreds of men. Oh, yeah, the person who's luring them there.

Yeah. And they properly made his, character, like an absolute freak. Because, yeah, they would have had to have... I kind of assumed it was a team. Yeah, I was... There's only one? Well, in the movie.

Yeah, in the movie. Oh, yeah, I would have assumed a team. But, like, the person who's, like, raison d'etra is to pretend to be a child who wants to get men to have sex with them. That's got to do a number on your psyche. Well, I think you probably don't start out great. Psychie-wise. But they were...

I remember they were doing something. like local vigilantes here were doing were inspired by the show and got like lured predators to like a McDonald's or a Tim Hortons or something and then like

one of them came out dressed as Batman to be like this guy's a pedophile well I'd just be like look he's dressed like a superhero he's more likely the petal of the two of us when the people who were actually

experts are like, huh, I'm not sure. Your logic there. Your honor. Let's arrest everyone. Yeah, I think let's just arrest everybody in a Tim Horton's. Yeah. You know, let's just go ahead. Except the kids working there for their one hour of Tim Horton service.

Or one year. One hour a day, one year of your life. That's, wasn't that the whole thing about the movie, too? It's kind of like, he pointing out, like, I haven't seen it, but like, like, the desire to want to do a show like that. Yeah. It's also kind of a layered. Oh, yeah.

Thing. Well, at one point, he, like, comes home and shows his kid the show, his kids, the show. He wakes them up and they're like, this is my show, we're going to be on prime time. That's really the only time kids are actually in danger is when he showed. Like, all this stuff on, all the luring people online is with imaginary kids. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, because I, like, I watched it.

Whenever it was on, it was like. Yeah. I've seen a bunch of it. But it feels like it was around for a year. Like, does that seem right? I feel like it was years and years. It feels longer. But like more, like, I feel like there were many date lines that weren't under that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then every time we talk about it on the show, like, it comes up on this podcast a lot over the years. Yeah. We always end up talking about what would you do with John Cignonas? What would you do with John Cignonas? Do you know that show? Of course I know that. Which is the hidden camera, like morality show?

Of course. My nightmare? I'm often in situations in real life. I'm like, am I being Kenyones? Am I being Kenyones or at least JFL gags? I once, I went years and years ago to, I went this past year to JFL Montreal, but I went years ago. And I was sitting at what we, with my friend Jolla at like a cafe. We were there for rap battles and like, fun, great time. But we were sitting in like a little cafe on the grounds.

and because we wanted to order a coffee. And then I started looking around and I was like, this is kind of weird, a bit makeshift. And then the server came over and was acting a little weird, and Jill and I were both like, this is it just for last gags? And they started acting a little weird, and I was like, hey, I'm Actra. I'm union.

And they're like, oh, okay. Okay, you can have regular coffee. We're not going to get you a goofy copy? They were like, you should probably go. You shouldn't be here. But yeah, I know a guy in Montreal is like terrified of Just for Last Skag. But it's funny that they would be doing it during the festival. Yeah.

I'm ridiculous that I didn't clue in like, oh, yeah, this would be a very logical place. Never clue it. I would have to be shown. Like, maybe when the thing actually happened, I'd be like, this seems kind of, but I wouldn't have picked up what you. Oh, if I was with another person, I'd be like, well, if you think it's okay, Well, if you think it's okay, our server is none from the 1940s. I'm fine with whatever. I don't mind that there's no proper bathroom.

It's just a couple of porta-potties. Yeah. Some sort of scaffolding built behind them. Yeah. But yeah, in the movie, they reference, what would you do? Yeah. It's being like their main competitor. Yeah.

Oh, I guess it would you do. It's like a wholesome. It's a more wholesome version. Yeah. Right. But oh, did I howl when that came up on screen? Because I love John Kenyones. What would you do?

Yeah. What would you do? Which I think maybe started as a segment on 2020. Oh, so they really are kind of parallel thoughts. Just very different. Is, do either you guys have the Roku, Roku channel? No. Do you have Pluto?

Quibi. Pluto TV? No. Doobie? And 2B? Doesn't everybody kind of have Pluto? Yeah, Pluto and TV can. What would Roku?

Roku is another one of these that's just like a million channels that's like. Yeah. But it also has a streaming end-to-end to end-to-end date line. It just runs 24 hours a day. Like you can't stop it and play for them. But it's just running. Oh, weird. Well, no, that's what Pluto TV and like my.

my own television on, if you just put it on the TV setting instead of HDMI, it'll just give you like the option of like 24 hours of the Andy Griffith show, 24 hours of Baywatch, 24 hours of... Maybe it just knows what I want to watch. You want Dateline. And you know what? They're right. Yeah, and it's pretty good.

Like, if I, I could get sucked into that and then I would save so much money on streaming. Yeah, Keith Morrison, you know, he'd doing his thing. I can't remember anything on names of the other guys. There's a really old guy. Oh, on Dayline? Yeah. I would not know. Yeah, we talked about Dennis something.

Yeah. Dennis Johnson. But they're usually about a murder, but then I watched one that was about a storm in Japan where a guy and his fiancee got separated and they found each other. And I was like, huh, I'm not used to this being kind of a wholesome. Yeah. Kind of a nice story. I remember in the 90s, Dateline was big with Stone. Stone Phillips and Jane Polly.

Yeah. And it was before true crime was so big. And they were just, I feel like they got... Human Interest stories. And they feel like they got in trouble for like... They fabricated a story about Ford Explorers exploding. Oh. I called them Ford Exploders.

I can, like, going to the very back recesses of my mind, I remember a show that was called Live It Up. It was on Canadian television in the 80s. No idea with this. And they had a segment of like, this is the thing and this is they say how it works and this is how it actually works. And they would get mostly shit on products that didn't deliver them, you know, on their promise. They'd be like to the Ford Explorer. It explodes. But the Ford Exploder?

Not exploding the way I'd like it. It was like if they hit it from the right angle, then it's a 90% chance this thing's exploding. Which was hard because Ford Explorer? Very popular 90s vehicle up there with a Jeep Cherokee. Thanks. There was a car that blew up in Chinatown the other day, and you better believe the Vancouver Reddit thread was all about this car blowing up. What kind of car was it?

Because it had vapor, and somebody probably stole something from it, and it didn't work properly. Anyways, if a car catches fire, everybody wants to see. Oh, yeah. I go like miles out of my way to go see a car on fire. Oh, I remember someone's Porsche Cayenne caught fire of my old neighborhood. Spice. It didn't even catch fire.

It was like it blew up in the middle of the night. Yeah, see, this is what I'm talking about. With some mob members inside it. Oh, shit. Yeah. Do you think it was hit? Well, that's the thing they do here. Like, the gangs, if there's ever a murder, they always find a car burnt.

That's true. In the vicinity later. Yeah. So the gang members will steal a car, go kill someone. Oh, I see. That's why it's burned. Yeah. Yeah.

The one I watched last night at the daylight was a guy who he was so dumb. And we found a guy who's so dumb. This guy's America. He heard the movie. He wouldn't allow anyone under 18. So he came back with 70 friends. This is that stupid this guy. But he's being interrogated, and one of the cops said,

was leading him down the path and said, and of course, it happened by accident. He was like, yeah. But he was saying he didn't do it. And so what he said, it happened by accident, he was like, yeah. But he didn't catch himself. And they were like, well, that's, now we know. But he's too dumb to realize.

So technically, he's still innocent. So you did kill her? Yes. But I'm stupid. I don't see how I admitted to that. That's great. I love Dateline, one of the greatest news magazines. You know, I feel like that would be Friday night with those would be on.

Yeah, well, 2020 certainly was after TGIF. Yes. That's how you wound down after TGI. I feel like Dateline could be any night. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, but it's every night now. I can join 24 hours a day. I feel like when we were.

when the babies were very young, I would just have the TV on 24 hours a day and it would be on... They don't longer have TGIF on ABC on Fridays and it would go Shark Tank, then what would you do? What do you do? Is that still on? Dude, come on.

What would you do as always? Oh, shit. You're never going to run out of what would you do. Is it still going? I mean, my kids are 12 now, so... 12 years ago. I only really have seen, like, clips from it. But it is my nightmare because I do fear that I'd be put in one of the situations and do...

Not a bad thing, but just, like, a passively wrong thing. Sure. I would be much, like... You have to sign a waiver to go on the show. Yeah. So you could just not do that. Yeah, you knocked a basketball out of some kids' hands. All the other kids are bullying him, and I come and go, yeah.

They're right. to sign a waiver. Yeah, you know what? They're right. Because I see that with, like, I just want to know if it's still on. 2008 until 18 seasons. Oh, jeez. So that would be till present, yeah.

Present, yeah. But John Kenyonius, what is he pushing 80? 74. That's like, it's a no-fail premise. He reaches the end of his life. He's been doing this for 30 years. And one of the what-would-you-do is just a guy. on a table and him saying, kill me.

Will you kill John Cignon. Would you kill John Cignonis? If you push this button, you get a million dollars. But a gun will go off and shoot him. But John Cignonas will die. I'd be like, show me the million. That's the ultimate. What would you do?

That's how they're going to end it. That's the series finale. What would you do? It's a, it's the best, the TV has ever gotten I love him he's like he always wears a like a coat in his

unbuttoned shirt yeah there's a mixture of right there going on button yeah it does have a nice face yeah you're warm yeah welcoming yeah you know

traps you that's right traps you into making a moral decision that may haunt you forever but like so they have to you have to sign a waiver I'm much more worried about like someone who is like just a street TikToker being like, what's your body cam? And I'm like, I don't want to talk to you.

And they still post the video. Yeah. I once told a guy to stop idling his car, which I will do. What would you do? I've been known if it's. They're running out of ideas on what would you do? I was like, I did. I was like, hey, could you just stop idling your car?

Because I'd been walking my friend's dogs. and he'd been idling for like 20 minutes. And he was like, do you mean idolizing? Well, then he pulled out of his phone. He's like, you're going viral. And I was like, okay. You're a Karen. He was like, yeah, here.

And I was like, I like waved and was like, hi. Yeah, I asked this guy to stop idling his car because like it's pretty loud and it's making a lot of pollution. Yeah. Also, it's like when people do that and they're like, you're going to go viral, Do they kind of feel like they're going viral as like, everyone's going to take my side. Yes. Oh, literally. And I'm going to be the famous guy.

Everyone likes. He was like, I think he was saying that. He was like, everyone's going to agree with me. You're a bitch. Like, they may. They may. But being a bitch isn't a cry. Like, if it is, lock me up.

Throw away the key. Because I'm going to be a bitch to everybody in jail too. But really, I was just like, what? Like, I don't, but he, yeah, like this moral, like, superiority of like, oh, everyone's going to turn on you. Okay. Yeah. I don't care.

He was in his Ford Explorer. And unfortunately, moments later, moments later, he blew up. Graham was going on with you? Not too, too much. I went. Did you like that movie? I liked it very much. Do you like the popcorn?

You guys going to go again? You're going to go to another movie? I would do it again. I would go to another movie. What's coming out? You want to see. Sure there's some. There's Avengers coming out soon.

Oh, you can see everything? Yeah. Oh, that's probably a solo venture for me. Okay. We'll figure something out. I enjoyed my time. Okay. But I was on Salt Spring Island.

And I was staying in a trailer and watched scary movies at night, basically in the forest. You with Sally or by yourself? No, you'd be too scary to go on your own. You make Sally leave the room. He was in this trailer watching Roku TV Date Line channel. And we watched one thriller and two horror movies, but none of them were, there was a ban on anything in the forest. We're not doing anything in the forest. Too scary, too scary to be in the forest.

than that. And then also, you don't realize in the city and you look over the sky and like where there's no lights and you're like, wow,

this guy is amazing. It's like amazing and beautiful. No wonder people like thousands of years ago were like, I'm going to write a story about that guy. What guy?

Those three stars. The tall guy with the big belt. Yeah. But we we rewatched Obsession. Have you seen Obsession? I just watched it a few weeks ago. Did you enjoy it?

I liked it, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was good. I thought she was really good in it. Did you say that you watched two thrillers and a scary? Yeah. Okay, I'm guessing that was a scary. That has to be scary. Yeah.

What were the thrillers? So the thriller was, and this was a movie where I knew exactly zero about it. I barely even knew the title, which was, I think, the end of Oak Street. Uh-huh. That's only a thriller? Yeah, I mean, there's some gore. in it, but it's not, it's more like something Spielberg would do.

You know what movie has a lot of gore in it is, uh, fuck with the thing. Oh, inconvenient. Yeah. Yeah. That is a good joke. It would have been.

Yeah, that's true. I didn't tend with a hander. Your brain hadn't broken. So, and it was good. It was really fun. But, like, I literally didn't know anything. So in the first, you know, 20 minutes, it's just like a family.

They've got some dynamics going. Oh, it's family has dynamic. Got dynamic. This has Anne Hathaway. Yeah. And Ewan McGregor doing my favorite thing that you and McGregor is not good at an American accent. He's very bad at an American accent. It hasn't got any better over time.

It's just really sounds like somebody doing. So that was distracting. But I was like, okay, it's a family thing. And then dinosaurs show up. And I'm like, wow, I really wouldn't have called this twist at the end of Oak Street. And then the rest of it is like basically kind of a Jurassic Park-esque romp. Is that a spoiler? Did you spoil it?

I think there's dinosaurs on the poster from whatever. They hit it well at first. But now it's not a spoiler. Okay. Yeah. You got it. Yeah. There's dinos.

I won't say how many. And I won't say what they do. but you better believe they get up to some shenanigans. I, the whole, like, the end of Oak Street just makes me picture where the sidewalk ends. Shell silvers. Yeah, that picture of like, oh, the Oak Street's ending. It's a beautiful little child looking up at the giving tree and a dinosaur falls down. And then watch another horror called Backrooms.

Oh. Oh, it's two horrors in a... Yeah, two horrors and a thrill. I'm watching all these at home? No, this was in a trailer in the forest. In the forest. But those are all still kind of, I guess they're just out of theaters. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. We rented them and watched them on a computer. You had already seen an obsession. Had you seen backrooms already? Had you seen backrooms already? These were the two, like, competing, not even competing, but like the two sensations. Indie horror summer sensations.

And this movie is apparently directed by a 20-year-old. A boy. amazing, a 20-year-old boy. Boy. Yeah, really a boy. Not yet a man, no. I'm a lawyer. He's just a boy.

Your Honor, my client is just a boy. He's wearing one of those hats with the helicopter on top. Just a boy. A very stupid boy who love YouTube but made a movie from it. Look at his big lollipop. You know, and I like that. Lollipop straight from the record.

He's not a little bit of a movie. supposed to even have it. It's a bad for his team. Yeah. Have you, have either you guys seen it? No, I saw the trailer and I was like, no. I was the same.

When I saw the trailer, I was like, I don't, I don't think so. But then when I watched it, it was, it was scarier than I thought it was going to be. Rank the three. Oh, that's good. I think I enjoyed obsession the most. And then probably,

end of Oak Street, and then. Okay. And backwards. And backwards is like, It's very weird. Yeah, yeah. So you're watching these in a trailer in the forest. Is this?

In the dark. In the dark. But like trailer in the forest, are you know, you don't picture someone being able to stream movies. We downloaded them at her parents' face. Oh, okay. And is there a TV in it or are you watching it on a computer? Watching it on computer. Oh, okay.

In the dark. And maybe I, maybe we should have watched the, you know, machete in the dark, serial killer. Would you rather be in the forest with Jason or a bear? Doesn't Jason have like a specific person he's out for? No. Is it anybody? Teenagers. Obviously the bear.

Yeah, I think the bear, because I couldn't win over Jason, but I feel like you could win over. And then what if it's the bear from the bear? And he's like, food coming behind you. Well, then give me Jason. I don't like his bossiness. Uh-uh. Yeah, Jason, have you ever seen any of these? I've seen some Jason's.

Yeah. Yeah. He started out not wearing the mask. He started out as a young boy and then gradually. Your honor, my client is just a young boy. He's not even wearing a mask. If the mask doesn't fit, you got to fit. He's just sitting there with his machete.

Isn't there something about his mom? Yeah, his mom. He was Jamie Lee Curtis? No, that's how. Michael. Howlowean. But there is something about his mom, though, right? Yes, his mom in spoiler.

If you've never seen the first one, it's only been out for 45 years. It's his mom is the killer. Oh. And she's avenging him because the kids of some previous generation drowned him. Gotcha. And then. Little what would you do, actually. Exactly.

What you do? Would you drown the pretty intense one where they drowned a kid to see if the mother would kill them? Everybody signed the waiver. Everybody was in on it. I'd be so happy if Billy on the street came up to me and asked me. I panic. I'd freeze. I would freeze.

For a dollar, will you drown a kid? Yeah. Yes. Name a kid. Chuckie from Charles Wayne. Oh, wait. He's not a kid at all. Yeah, it was a...

And were you spooked out? Yeah, I got a little spooked out by obsession. More creeped out. It was... It's creepy and... But like... It's scary. Yeah.

And it would it affect your sleep in the... I didn't sleep very well that night. For us? Yeah. I don't think I slept very well that evening. I will only see a scary movie in daylight. That's smart. That's why I like to watch them in the theaters because then I have to like sort of, A, be normal.

I always pretend to stretch. I always get a little scared and move and go and then I like, and I'll sit in the back row for that reason. But yeah, because if you're... in public, at least, it's like, okay, I'm not going to ruminate on this for hours alone in my bed. I got to get home. Yeah. You got to get home to my Ricky house.

With so many back rooms. But all three are good. All three are worth watching. But yeah, that end of Oak Street. Boy, did that throw me for a loop? I thought it was like, I mean, you know, like last house on the left, a horror movie

kind of thing. But And you know what? That Anna Hathaway? National Treasure. Uh-huh. Yeah. She's great. Right?

She's been in so many things. She's been great and so many of them. I've always liked her. I don't like that people are mean that she, because she tries too hard. Yeah. Yeah. What's so wrong about that trying too hard? I like a little effort.

Yeah. It makes you to try hard. Well, we like a little effort, but it is, we agree she's a bit. She's trying a little hard. Did people come back? around on her or? I think people have come back around. She had a big year.

Yeah, she did have a big year. Yeah. People accused, you know, people online have accused her of not actually being pregnant. Yeah. That she's like lying and faking it. Huh. And that she has a surrogate, but she's pretending to be pregnant. They did the same with Beyonce.

Yeah, they do it with a lot of women. A lot of powerful women. Yeah. Huh. Which I'm sure, you know, statistically speaking. somebody's fake their pregnancy. But I don't think Anne Hathaway is doing that. No, she's method.

Yeah. For this movie, I have a kid, so I had a kid. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramour comes in. We're a pop culture podcast taking a funny look at the common

and sometimes very uncommon things Black people love from asking why so many Black kids were secretly emo to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint, she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on Maximum Fun.org

and wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. No, no, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye. It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long. I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left.

She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. But they get her shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I? Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast. But you're not wearing that, are you?

It's very revealing, mother. This is a musical theater, not a Parisian bordello. Simply go to maximum fun.org. I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat! Overheard! Overheard's a segment on the show where, boy, oh boy, do we love hearing what you hear.

We always like to start with the gas. Novel, you haven't overheard. I do. I mean, I'm... God, I'm never looking out for them. So I'm always in a scramble. But actually, just this morning, I was staying at my mom's place. And my mom lives in North Van near a school.

And one of the kids did a really perfect impression of Groot from Marvel. It sounded just like Groot, really well done. Except that instead of saying I am Groot, he went, My name is Groot. It really tickled me. Same thing. You know? But like to be so good.

Yeah. Yeah. So far away. Just not it. Just not it. Miamo Groot. Yo, Soe, Groot.

Groot, you know, couldn't carry off. You couldn't be a main thing. I wonder. You can watch just Groot. No, no. Even if he had full capacity of language, no. They must do like every language job of that movie. But I bet Vin Diesel could do them all.

Like he has one line, right? That's true. And have you seen a video of Bradley Cooper like in a classroom? He's in a classroom and he like, the kids don't know that he plays whatever, Rocky Raccoon. So he does the voice and the kids go absolutely ballistic because I still forget that that's him. I forget that that's him all the time. Yeah. I don't really like him.

But I do like that character. And I did weep the entire third Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Did you? Yeah, there's like heavy themes of animal abuse. And I immediately got me like animal testing and mistreatment. Maybe I was just in a place. That's fine. You had just been tested upon.

Yeah, you're wearing some weird listening. A full beat. Full face. I look so beautiful and so sad. I mean, your skin is breaking out like crazy because this stuff is not safe. But like when they say not tested on animals, that's what they mean. Yeah. Human trials only.

Dave, do you have an order? Oh, sure. This is one from the grocery store. There was the person ahead of me at the checkout was an old, old person who could not figure out how to use their debit card. Oh, yeah. So like this person. The little screen came up and the checkout person, the cashier was like, oh, you can just hit no and then pay. Like, whatever, some option.

The person didn't get it. And it took them three or four tries and they finally got it with the help of the cashier. And then I just heard the cashier say, it's quite a journey with a debit card. So many questions. Like don't feel bad. Oh. Yeah, it's, I mean, yeah, watching somebody fuck around with a debit or credit card and not quite, because some of them you don't know where to tap.

There's no logo on it. I still get a little embarrassed sometimes at a restaurant. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Where do I do this? If I don't know how to do it, if I get for free? I'm so young. I understand technology.

But where? Sometimes, yeah, you do get that one where the tap is like on the far side. It's like on the opposite side and it's like a tablet. And it's like whoever's designing these things. Come on. Yeah. Get it together. Was the person frustrated?

The user? The debit user? No, they were old. They had no place else to be. It's all the scheme to get a little more time and attention. If I'm bad at this, they got to talk to me. I just have to be home before dark before the wolves come out. and Graham

yeah mine isn't overseen I was in a thrift shop this is like a month ago and going through the t-shirts I'm always looking for a cool t-shirt and I found one that was pandemic related keep your distance from me

two meters or whatever it was and then three shirts down there was one that was like don't tell me to wear a mask just the fact they were in the same section together remember People would wear a shirt that was

Oh yeah Oh yeah Don't trade on my rights I breathe where I want to breathe Do you guys hear there's a Russian Plague Oh shit I got out?

I actually didn't Oh okay There's not it's fine Oh God Are we Is there gonna be another I don't know if there's going to be another Apparently this one is

more deadly but less spready spreadable Well that's the thing isn't it The more deadly The less it spreads Yeah Yeah

Sure yeah This is the law Yeah What if that was What if both those shirts Were owned by the same guy He just really He just went through a journey

Yeah But which way did he go You know I feel like from Standard distance to Eddie Vax I love it when I'm still When I am out today

In 2026 and you still see the stickers they have on the floor. Yeah. I like the ones that just say social distancing. Yeah. Not do it, not we practice it, just says it. You know what this means. You know.

Yeah. Just a reminder, it existed. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over. If you want to send one in, send it into SBY at maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Jeff B. is at a very Tweed map store I think there's probably the only Oh I would have really like

Fucking cool Yeah Big dick map store And it's a tweed map store And it's A Tweed Map Store in Providence, Rhode Island And a guy is saying The odd birds extinct

Damn Then he wrote in later And it said Dodo Bird So this is a failure on his part and then he wrote in Dodo. So then it was the Dodo's birds extinct. Damn. He's just learning it for the first time in the map store, I guess.

When did you learn it? Kid. I think I learned it as like, yeah, a kid as like learning the idea of extinct. Yeah. Dinosaurs and the Dodo. Yeah. And like Dodo is funny. It's one of the funnier things.

Yeah, it's a shame. It's gone extinct. Funny name. Okay. Oh my God. I need the listeners to know that Graham just gave me a sort of soft grandpa-like look during that sentence. I did not. No, he did have a hard grandma.

Thank you. Thank you, Dave. Okay, you're right. Sorry. This next one is John. Last name withheld. After boarding a pack bus in Toronto, eh? Oh, okay, John.

Overheard someone behind me on their phone, according to my very amateur linguistics. analysis. The speaker was Gen Z with mid-range vocal fry saying, I'm on a bus going to shoppers. Tone changes in mid-range exasperation. Shoppers. It's a drug mart. Shopper. It's a drug mart.

There you go. Thank you. Good read. It's funny that there's still stores called mart, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Because we don't use a mart as anything. We don't use it unless the name of a store.

Yeah. I'm going to the mart. Yeah, mini-mart. Yeah. Minimars Drug Mart. There was a, oh, what's it? So, watch this Oasis document. Oh, my God.

And a year or two before they were, they got back together, the guy, the lead singer of the 1975, Maddie Healy. He went on some show and he was criticizing Oasis for being broken up while there was. They could still be the biggest band in the world. But you're in a Mardi with your, or you're in a Mard with your brothers. Everyone had to look up what the hell. What a Mard is?

Yeah. That's a drug Mard. Oh, shit. Shoppers. It's a drug Mard. This last one comes from David in Philadelphia. My four-year-old daughter was looking through a catalog of Christmas toys and circled an action figure from a movie she's never seen.

We asked if she knows who it was. And she said, yeah, I think so. His name is, I know this. Frank. That's Frank. The toy? Shrek.

He said from an action movie. Did he say from an action movie? I don't know. Well, all things happen in Shrek. You're right. Actions. I like Frank. Oh, no.

An action figure. Yeah, my bad. The idea of catalog. Yeah, that's going to. It's kind of quaint. My, yeah, the problem with giving kids, like, something to just, like, pick and choose is they want everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, if I have the option, I'll take the whole batch. Yeah, I'll circle all of the Ninja Turtles instead of just one Ninja Turtles. Plus, you've now shown them all the things that they aren't going to get. That's, ooh. Yeah. Oof. The Internet must make that much worse. having access to all the toys

that you didn't even know we're out there. Oh yeah. Yeah, especially Frank. You know what? That movie would have been fine if he was called Frank. Yeah, also, show your kid Shrek. Yeah, exactly.

Don't wait. Your kids have to wait until they're after four to see Shrek. Show your kid Shrek. Yeah. I actually was a Shrek hater for a while, but I'd never seen it. It was just that everybody liked it too much.

And I, there was specific people who would try to force it on me. I'd be like, I bet it's bad. And I watched it, and I was wrong. And now you're a believer. Incredible. I am a believer, yes. Good.

I saw his face. That's from Shrek. No, I'm a believer. Now, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Send us a voice memo to sb.Y at maximum fun.org. Or leave us a voicemail message at 1.844-799-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hi, David and Graham. This is Keanu from Houston. I haven't overheard from the laundromat today. They had a TV on that was showing a reality show about some guys that build aquariums. And they were showing off this really tall aquarium that they had built.

And the guy said, this aquarium is over eight feet tall. That's even taller than Shaquillo Neal with a top hat on. That would be a good unit of different size hats on Shaquillo. Yeah. Like him and a baseball cap, where that's him and a, I guess, top hat's the tallest. How tall is a top hat? Six inches? There's got to be like a stove.

Yeah. Abraham. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. But, yeah, I bet that aquarium show. I bet that plays 24 hours on Roku TV. And you know what?

It's been running for 18 years as well. It's one of those, you know, cake boss era, Pimp My Ride. Yeah. They get aquariums that I think don't hold up, but probably leak. within six months of owning it because it's not supposed to be an octagon or whatever. Like, there's a reason like tanks are the way they are. Also, who needs a tank? You know what I mean?

What kind of weirdo is going on the show and saying, I'm looking for this kind of tank. I'm not satisfied with my current tank. Yeah. I'm looking for something cool, something flashy when people come over and look at my tank. I'm a drug dealer. And I need a gigantic tank to. as sort of like a way to launder money.

There's a spoiler of the show The Wire where a kid, like, is brought over to a drug dealer's house and he thinks he's going to get executed. They bring him down to a dark basement. He's like, this is it. And then the guy flicks on the light, and it's a gigantic aquarium. And he's like, I just need to take care of my fish.

It was a very like, oh, thank God. That character is going to make him to the next episode. That's sweet. As long as he feeds those fish, if he kills those fish. Oh, boy. Keep the fish alive and you don't swim with them. Nice. So true.

No, I'm a believer. Here's your next one. Hello, Dave. Bam, possible guest. This is Rat and Amanda in Huntsville, Ontario with an overheard from our local fresh-cove grocery store. The teller was checking out our groceries and said to the gentleman behind us, I'm sorry, I can't sell you alcohol because I'm not old enough. And he said, uh, this is vinegar.

Well, off we go. Oh, no, too scary. It was. Spooky scary witch voice. Yeah, it's, uh, I mean, if you're a teenager, you'd probably be like, I think you get drunk off vinegar. And they'll sell it to us. We'll go get a like, two-liter thing. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. You, I went so my favorite store is gourmet warehouse. Yeah. And I walked in and. The guy at the front was like, hey, would you like to taste a vinegar sample? Oh. And I was like, uh, uh, sure. And you just had like a shot of.

It was a shot of vinegar and like, you can. No bread? And they had bread, but it was in little shot glasses. Like you can have some bread too, but you could also just drink it. Right. And I did both. And I drank it so good. It wasn't even sour.

Oh. Wow. Well, that's kind of a fancier vinegar. Yeah. And so I bought it. He sold. The sample works. And it also wasn't like, like, so rare.

It was also like, okay, well, this is going to be $100 a bottle. And it wasn't. It was only $99. And here's your final phone call. Hi, stop podcasting yourself. My name is Margaret. I'm calling in with an overheard slash a conversation that I was a part of. I was giving blood a few weeks ago.

And it's the kind of thing where you have to say your birthday month and day. a few times, I guess to make sure it's still you giving the blood the whole time. And I have the honor of being born on April 20th. And so I had to say 420 a few times. And the first time, the guy just sort of chuckled, which I'm used to. And I sort of gave a knowing smile. Like, yeah, I'm cool. And then like the second or third time, he goes, do you know when he went else who has your birthday, and I didn't know what he was getting at if he was getting at anything. So I just said what I knew to be true.

And I said, Hitler? And he said, yeah. Okay, bye. Cool. Do you know of any school shootings that happened on your birthday? No. That is weird because you do when you donate blood. They keep asking you throughout the whole process.

Your name and your date of birth. You got to keep confirming. Yeah. So that you're not. You didn't go in the wrong room and just so that you match the chart. I think they do it with every medical thing. But in the when you're, it's in like this big open room. You go to your little room before where you do your question.

Yeah. Like a job interview. Yeah. And they're like. Yeah. And then you go to the big room. But I, the last time I gave blood, they told me, please don't come back. Oh, my.

Because I stress people out Everyone else who gives blood around you, their blood is sour Everything I say sounds like a lie But this is true I have like really thin veins and really poor circulation Oh god, you're so dainty I'm really little I'm not like an unigal

For the listener, she is pretty little I'm so little I'm not. I'm not little, but I do have really teeny tiny veins. And so it's really hard to find the vein. And then when they do, I don't always,

it like takes a long time to let out. Sometimes poo comes out. Yeah, Dave. Sometimes poo comes out of my veins that are small. It's a very thin line. Like my veins. But yeah, I can't always get enough blood out. Thin brown line. But last time I went, the phlebotomist, three different ones tried to get a vein and they couldn't.

And then one of them kind of started weeping a little, like crying a little. I want to quit phlebotomy. And then, because they used to call me all the time, Canada blood services or whatever it's called. What's your type? Be positive. Oh, I'm be negative. Wow. Kind of the way you guys are.

Opposing forces, yeah. Yeah, everybody knows me as the most positive person on the planet. But anyway, they were like, I don't think you should come back. This was too stressful. And now you got bad blood. Yes. Abby can't give blood because she lived in Europe during Mad Cow. Oh, no.

And they're so serious about that. They've softened on a lot of the other things, not that. I'm constantly getting tattoos. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Got a big back piece I'm working on. You just keep doing it so you never have to give blood.

Yeah. You don't even want a tattoo. Put some shade on it or something. Whoa, it's coming right to the front. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast. Nicole, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me. I just sip some water before I said that.

You can tell. Include the swallow. You have a show everywhere. Wednesday? Every damn Wednesday I do a show called Nice Time at Comedy Bar Bluer. Nice. Yeah, come check it out. Is it improv show?

It's improv. Okay, improv. If you've never seen Nicole on stage doing improv, you're missing out. And occasionally, just know if you go. Occasionally, she'll be like, that was the funniest thing I'll ever do. I'll ever do. 50 people saw it. Yeah.

And isn't that beautiful? Something very beautiful about that. Isn't that, yeah. Like poetry, really? And that like poetry? Except you do write poems down and other people can do it. No, you're right. You're right.

Oh, thank you again for being our guest. Thank you. Everybody out there for listening. Have a spooky season. Yeah, have the spooky season. Yeah, you know what? If you're going to donate blood, perfect night, October 31st. Do you do it at night?

It's when it's the most spooky at the hospital or wherever. Oh, my God. Center. Come on back next to me for another episode of Stop Podcasts or yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.