Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 10: Shall We Roll Down the Hill?

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Tom Rosenthal approaches a stranger on a park bench and asks if he can sit down next to them and record their conversation.This is what happened!Produced by Tom RosenthalEdited by Rose De LarrabeitiMixed by Mike WoolleyTheme tune by Tom Rosenthal & Lucy Railton Incidental music by Maddie AshmanEnd song : 'Golden Now' by Will CooksonListen here : https://ffm.to/goldennow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? Yeah, sure. I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I sit next to people for 10 or 15 minutes and ask a few questions about their lives. Would you be up for such a thing? Yeah, sure. Fantastic! Sounds fun. That's the dream. What's your favourite day of the week? That would have to be Sunday morning. Just Sunday morning?

Yeah, Sunday morning. Forget Sunday afternoon. Yeah, Sunday morning. Why? Well, for me anyway, you've got the day to relax and I always put on the same playlist. I always put on the Velvet Underground, have some tofu. It's always a good morning. Love it.

Just straight off Velvet Underground, tofu on its own? Scrambled on toast. You know, you got that ritual for Sunday. Perfect. It sounds like you love it. Yeah, I love it. Could you kind of try and replicate it for other days of the week?

Oh, I could. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't. Maybe that's the cut. That would remove some of the speciality of it, I suppose. I don't know. The playlist I listen to is called Sunday Morning.

So I couldn't possibly put that on another day, no. You couldn't flip it? No. So what happens on Sunday afternoon or goes downhill? I don't know, I normally read. No, Sunday Afternoon's always good because it's just come after Sunday morning. Yeah, perfect.

Okay, tell me, why do you read? Because it's always more interesting than my life, I suppose. Normally I read fantasy, so that's a form of escapism, I guess. Sometimes it's more exciting to be in a book than the real world. Yeah. Yeah, I think if you've got the time, reading's just as useful, beneficial as meditation. It's so peaceful. What's your favourite book? Oh God, favourite book.

You can pick a top three if you want. Probably Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche. I've never heard of it. What's it about? It's Nietzsche the philosopher who's quite mad. It's sort of like a self-help book. I suppose like an early self-help book, yeah, early self-help book vibe but kind of some of it is off the wall. Yeah. Some of it is incredibly potent in terms of the human condition and just understanding how people work. What is it about fantasy that gets you? Just the escape? Yeah, and there's always something fun about magic. There is always something fun about magic. You don't see dragons on Parliament Hill.

Does that mean you kind of wish your life was a bit more exciting somehow? Do you kind of crave a certain level of excitement that isn't quite there? I suppose so. No, my life's not that exciting. By the way, I don't think lives need to be exciting. That's not me saying I think it should be. It's more just that I'm interested to know what you think is the most exciting thing about your life.

No, there is definitely something enjoyable about just living a peaceful life, if you know what I mean. Going on a walk sort of thing. But I don't know, the most exciting thing about my life at the moment. I'm going on holiday with my friends in a couple of weeks, but that's not very exciting. Well, it could be exciting.

It will be, I'm excited for it. How many friends? There's just four of us going. What is it about the four that works, or could it go wrong? We're housemates at uni, so it's not gonna go wrong. Maybe I'll come back to this in like few years and be like, oh my god. What is university like?

It's good. I'm studying writing. I want to be an author. Why? Because I love reading. Have you written anything yet? Yeah, I've written a book, but I'm still editing it at the moment. It's taking ages. I finished it a year ago now and I'm still editing it at the moment, it's taken ages. I finished it a year ago now and I'm still editing it. Yeah. What would you like people to feel when they read your words?

I feel like literature or poetry at least, you've got to be changed by the words. If someone reads my writing and thinks about life in a different way that would be really nice if that makes sense. Does make sense. Yeah. How'd you get on with your parents? Very well, very good. What have they... I saw them yesterday. Oh you saw them yesterday? Yep. How did that go? It was good I got back from holiday with them actually.

Oh lovely, going on holiday with the folks. Yes. No, they're brilliant. Tell me what you think they do well. My dad, because he's very funny and he offers lots of advice. My mum, she's so kind. Yeah. So is there anything about your parents you find tricky?

Not that I can think of. They both support the fact that I want to be a writer, which is not like a career path that's particularly riddled with opportunities. No, everything's fine. I do need a more exciting life. For whatever reason. I suppose this is exciting. This is something to...

There you go. This is the start of my interesting life. This is just the journey. It's like the butterfly effect. Yeah. Do you collect anything? It actually is. That one. That one. That one. That one. That one. That one. That one. Do you collect anything?

Oh, I used to collect train tickets. Had over a thousand train tickets at one point. Really? Yeah. And then what happened? Then I read a book on minimalism. Oh no. And then.

And they can't be taking up that much space. I binned every single one. No. Yeah, I know. I know. Take me through the moment you open the bin, a thousand train tickets in your hand, you just dump them in the bin. I had them all stuck on my wall as well. Yeah, it was great.

And people would bring in train tickets to give me at school. That was your thing. That was my thing. What was the most exciting train ticket you had? If you could go back and retrieve one, do you mean? I had a lot from Brocksbourne to Northumberland Park you probably don't know either of these stations what take me through the journey what is what is it about that journey I'm a I'm a Spurs fan the football team yeah and we'd always go to

Broxbourne and get the train to Northumberland Park. And I had about more than 100 of those. So it'd be nice to have one of those back because I've moved house now, I no longer do that journey. You remember the details of that journey? Like what do you see on the way? I can't remember, I can remember the stations. Hit me. Chesson, Walthan Cross, Enfield Lock, Ponder's End,

Brimstown, Angel Road, or Angel Street, but it's closed now and it's been replaced by Meridian Water. And then Northampton Park and then you'd walk along the road to White Hart Lane, or Tottenham Hartsburg Stadium as it's now known. the road to White Hart Lane or Tottenham Hotspur Stadium as it's now known. Do you have a partner?

No I don't. When you think ahead do you think, oh wow they're out there somewhere. So we're looking upon the city. No, I was literally... They could just be walking around. I was thinking that about 20 minutes ago. Really? Literally before you started interviewing me I was sat here just watching the view.

I'd finished a chapter in this and I'd like to take a break between chapters. I was thinking, I wonder if the person I'm going to end up with is in there somewhere. I don't know. There's a really good chance they're in there somewhere because we're looking upon a very concentrated bit of London. But I don't think there's just one person for anyone though. I think there's definitely more than one. Yeah, for sure.

So what we could say then is there's multiple people wandering around out there. I just need to go on a long walk around. Just with a big flag saying. Are you the person wandering around? That would be an exciting thing to do. But also kind of weird. Instead I'll read mysteriously on a bench

at the top of the hill and just hope they walk past me. Is there one that you know now that you're interested in? Yeah. Can you say any more? Whisper, mi amor. Whisper's a nice name for a dog. Whisper's great. Me and more is like my career's girlfriend. That would have been such a good plot twist.

Oh, there's two. Oh, is it the other one called me and more? He could be talking to two different dogs. One's called me and more. He could say, Whisper my love, come to me. Yes, no, that makes more sense I think. Although we'll never know. He can say, whisper my love, come to me. Yes, no, that makes more sense, I think. Although we'll never know.

Don't you think it's crazy we're never gonna see that guy again? Probably. Yeah. And he's just going off on his day. On his walk. And he's got an entire whole life. Completely.

Let's have those three people there. I mean. Oh, I don't wanna think about it too much. It's so like, it's so just, it's so massive, isn't it? You know what's so funny? I mean I really like you said that, it's nice to be aware enough of life that you think about those things sometimes. Do you think about it? Yeah of course. I think I hopefully give myself enough space to have those thoughts. Obviously that thought is like a completely tragic thought. There's a great quote, I've gone home because I did.

So they're like, what's the point crying over parts of life, oh I think it's Teneke actually, sorry. What's the point of crying over parts of life, the whole of it calls for tears. Oh, that's brilliant, that is brilliant. That is the point, you know, as in like, you know, you've just seen this guy for the last time, he said whisper me a more, that's it. And that's the point. You've just seen this guy for the last time. He said, whisper to me more, that's it.

Only information. And also, how could you not cry at that? I mean, they can't be anything more sad. The way to make it, what I think is, how can you make that thought useful? And obviously, it's a beautiful thought. It's a poignant thought. I say, you grab your opportunities when they come. What, and go up to the guy and be like, is your dog cold?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no nice shirt, go, nice shirt.

You know, just don't leave these things behind. That's, yeah, that's true. Or, you know, yeah. It'd be so nice to be complimented in the supermarket, actually. Because the lights are so awful in there. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's, you know, one nice compliment can change someone's day.

100%, 100%. Imagine if you went around just complimenting people for the entire day you could like make 100 people's dates or 1000 people's dates. Any small interactions feel good and it only takes a small bit to feel better. There you go. This is something to talk about. There you go. It's really, it's really.

But also how easy is this? Most people want to talk to one another. And it's just a question of starting. Isn't it crazy to think that if you weren't recording this, this conversation would never have happened? There you go. Well, it would have happened if we would have felt it somehow. Yes.

It would just be ours. There's no evidence of it. Completely. I would think about that. I don't know. If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? I don't know. If you do anything and it's not recognised or noticed, does it even happen?

Can I tell you something? I think, so I am 37 years old. Would you have guessed that? No, I would have guessed 32 probably. That's very sweet of you. I've actually had this idea to do this since I was a teenager. Really? Yeah. That's cool. I only just started this year. What made you start it this year? Sometimes you go, God, I could have done that anytime. Why now? What is it about now? I like the idea that all timing is kind of perfect.

So as long as you do it, the right time is the right time. Now, you know what you were saying about like, you know, this conversation, if we didn't have the microphones, we'd have just drifted off and it would have made any difference. Every conversation I've had with every different person in my life, which is thousands upon thousands of conversations, all kind of different people, they've all

informed me about how to do this as well as I can. That's true. And they've all added it. It's all been prep for being a good interviewer. All your conversations you've had so far will inform your next ones, whatever they are. So I think nothing is wasted. No, sometimes you don't even realize something's a lesson until afterwards. I don't know, everything is teaching you something. Do you do this full time? This?

Yeah, like podcasting, like recording people. Can you guess what I do full time? Something creative I reckon. Correct. I don't reckon it's to do with writing, otherwise you would have mentioned that when I talked about it, so I reckon something like... I'm a Hollywood film star. Maybe acting, maybe maybe it's possible.

Look, are the children about to run down the hill? No, they're definitely about to run down the hill, surely. I was thinking earlier how fun it would be to try and roly poly down this hill. You should do it. I should. Maybe we'll roll down together after this. Roll down the hill. That would be chaotic.

This would be... That's the start of my exciting life. This would also be the first... This will mark, you say, you always remember rolling down the hill. Yeah. With someone you just met. Maybe we should do it. That would be fun.

There they go, they're running down, the children are running down the hill. It's like a version of that cheese event. Do you know the one, the cheese one? Yes, where they all follow the big... The big cheese, but no one's fallen over. How innocent is this as well like how sweet what a nice thing to do and i don't know how free wait a sec you didn't you didn't answer what you do. Maybe I was trying to divert you.

But you didn't guess it correctly. Something creative, maybe like an architect. Oh that's nice, no. An artist. You mean visual artist, like a painter. No I'm Like a painter? No I'm not a painter. You're going to give up?

Tattoo artist? No. It's a nice idea. I also don't have any tattoos. Do you have any tattoos? No I don't. What would you get? Train ticket.

From what? The two stations? Broxbourne to Northumberland Park. I should. Anyway, right, sorry. You want to know what I... Yeah, tell me. Shall I give you three options? Okay, yeah. Let's make it more exciting. I am, option one, an animator.

Option two... That one works. I can see you being an animator. I am a singer-songwriter. It's possible. Option three, I am... I think you're an animator. I don't even think of the third option. A life coach.

No. Are you an animator? No. What? Are you a life coach? No. So you're a singer-songwriter? Correct. Fun. What sort of music do you sing? I can imagine it being like, sort of like, folky music.

Correct. It's like boring white person music. That's what I'd describe it. There's nothing boring about it. Well, you haven't heard it yet yet you probably will find it quite dull. I think we've got to start our exciting life by rolling down the hill. I'll roll down the hill although I'm going to take this jumper off because I really like this jumper. Yeah you can take whatever you want off. I don't want to ruin any of your clothes but I feel like then it's like a moment you know. That'd be fun okay yeah. And also I quite like the fact that no one's gonna know and it's like magic of like did they roll down the hill?

Do they actually do that? Damn. Is there anything invisible about you that you wish were visible? What don't people know about you? Invisible? Something about my personality or like... Or anything. What do you keep away from other people? I suppose this is anonymous, isn't it?

This is anonymous. This is anonymous. Nobody's going to know. Unless I have a really distinctive voice and some of my friends happen to listen to this. What don't people know about you? Don't people know about me? I have a brain tumour. Woah, okay!

And you wouldn't know that on first sight? No, I wouldn't know that on first sight, I guess. No, I wouldn't know that on first sight. I've got my first radiotherapy appointment this afternoon actually. Crikey. So that's what I'm doing, sit on a bench waiting. Oh my God.

Can you say more? Oh, I'm not going to die. You're not going to die. No, no. It's not cancerous. It's on the memory part of my brain, so my memory's not very good, but. Well, you remember your train stations pretty well.

I do, I do. I do remember those. What's it like having a brain tumor? It was quite shocking when I found out. How did you find out? I was in Lidl, doing a shop with my friends September 2022. And I'd been getting a like deja vu episodes, like Epileptic Fits,

for like a couple of years before that. And then I had a deja vu episode that lasted like eight hours. I was just like lying on the sofa like, oh my God, this has happened before. So my mum phoned one on one and we booked a, what's it called? MRI scan. And then I got the results back while I was in Lidl and the woman was like, we've got your results from your MRI and you've got growth on your brain. I was like, that's unexpected. Were you at the checkout at this point? No, I was down the serial aisle and then yeah it was in the April of 2023

that I had some surgery. I was in hospital for like two and a half weeks, but it's still not all gone. So they want, this summer, I'm getting six months of radiotherapy. Wow. I mean, there's so many questions now about this. You can ask. I don't mind. I don't really tell my friends so it's quite nice it's anonymous.

Yeah. Why don't you tell your friends? I don't know. I'm worried that they'd feel sorry for me. But there's nothing to feel sorry about. Yeah. I mean the way you just talk to me now is just like, I've got this, I'm not going to die, I'm feeling this. Yeah. I just don't want to be treated any differently because of it so what happens you have radiotherapy and then what what is that that stops it from growing anymore so I should be able to live a relatively normal life I'm on a

anti-seizure like medication that that would be for life I might lose a bit of my hair and stuff during the process but I shaved it all off anyway. It looks good. I know you wouldn't believe it But it's actually shoulder length before. Oh really? I know No, it suits you. It's sort of like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo Which by the way cinematic masterpieces What happens with the epileptic fits then? It's so weird. So what happens is I get deja vu like really badly. So like if I was sat here I'd notice every single thing had happened before. Like the people running there, the

exact movements, like everything becomes like hyper focused if that makes sense. Yeah, completely. And then I'd get like weirdly emotional. I'd start crying and stuff. And then afterwards I lose memory that it's happened. So I'll have like a blank, like a five minute blank. I'll be like, but now I don't get that anymore. How has it at all changed you to the experience? Um, I suppose, I appreciate being outside a lot more.

The two weeks I was in hospital, it was so frustrating. Yeah, the first day I was allowed back outside, it was great and now I really like being outside a lot more and like enjoying nature. Fantastic. Yeah. Pleased to hear that it's gonna be alright. It's gonna be fine, um, fingers crossed I'll just live a normal life, or normal, an exciting life. Starting with our roll down the hill. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you, it was really felt. But I know We are golden now One last forever So let's go rolling down

This hill together Tickets from a station for a train that's going nowhere A life made up of memories and daydream The day you're in the bread aisle and the next you're on a gurney There's nothing you can do but let go We are golden now