Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 33: Follow The Blood

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

**Content warning : Injury detail**Tom Rosenthal approaches a stranger on a park bench and asks if he can sit down next to them and record their conversation.This is what happened! Produced by Tom RosenthalEdited by Rose De LarrabeitiMixed by Mike WoolleyTheme tune by Tom Rosenthal & Lucy Railton Incidental music by Maddie AshmanEnd song: 'Follow The Blood' by Georgia RuthStream it here: https://ffm.to/followtheblood————————————————————————————Instagram: @strangersonabench Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? What's your favorite day of the week? Probably Friday. Solid. Straight in with the Friday. I like that I can go out after work and I don't need to worry about what time I'm coming in because then Saturday I'm off.

Sunday then I want to enjoy my day and have a more relaxed me day because then I'm ready for Monday to start it all again. This makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Saturday I can just rot if I want to and not do anything. What's a good rot? Oh God. What is a perfect rot day?

I don't think it's a good day. A rot day in a sense. What is the best rotting day possible? Best rotting day. Probably bundled up on the sofa, duvet on, or heated blanket. Favorite snacks. Heated blanket? Yeah, heated blanket.

So you're just bundled up sweating. Gross. This is the day you're allowed to look ugly. Me and my best friend call each other and we're like, this is ugly day. When no one else is allowed to see it, but we see each other, you know? Just on FaceTime. And then, yeah, just watching favorite films, watching crap films think that makes it better when there's just it's just brain rot kind of

Rotting the brain rotting the yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and how'd you come out of that? Like how'd you recover from a rot day? Like what by feeling so disgusting you need to change your life around? Remember the last time you did change your life around? Do you think? I think I do it weekly. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. That's quite intense. Yeah, but I think you're allowed to change. You should. You shouldn't see a changing. I don't think. You should have the confidence to change. You're totally right. Yeah.

Can you think of the last most significant change of all those mini changes? Yeah. I left my job not that long ago. Nice. How did you do it? Can you think of the last most significant change of all those mini changes? Can you think of the last big one? Yeah, I left my job not that long ago. Nice. How did you do it? Walking out. Literally. Literally, I didn't go to work the next day.

Love it. Yeah. Did you know that day you were walking out that it was the last day? No. So when do you know to not come back? I just had enough. I literally finished work that day and I'm supposed to go in the next day and I just didn't go in.

Did you tell anyone? Yeah, just my boss and didn't tell anyone else. What was the reason you gave? A few different reasons. Any you can say? No. Were any of them invented? No.

It was all real? Yeah, it was all real. What was the moment that kind of just kicked that off? There was a lot to do with my job that I didn't morally, like I didn't morally align with what I believe in. Morals, oh I like it. What do you believe? Well, I'd say I hate saying-

What are your morals? What are morals? I don't know really. I hate saying it because it sounds morals? I don't know really. I hate saying it because it sounds quite, I don't know, up yourself to say like I think I'm spiritual. But I think that comes with like, people judge you when you say that. Because it's almost too broad. But I say I'm not religious. I didn't come from a religious background either, like my parents were spiritual.

I'm trying to think about what were you doing in this job that was like morally poor? I don't know how much I could say. Can you give me a little inkling? Um, I didn't like how it was like, say the clients were being treated in certain sense. But not by you, you weren't treated that badly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn't on the client facing side as such. Try and give an example without saying like, what?

Say where you just feel like someone's being pushed to buy something when you just know they don't need it and just that side of things they didn't like. Okay, I see, I see. This is good, this is good. And so that morning how did you feel when you sent the text, you haven't gone in, what were the emotions? Kind of disbelief that I'd even done it to be honest. Oh really? Yeah. Were you surprised yourself? Yeah.

Yeah. Do you surprise yourself regularly? Um, I guess so. Yeah. But I'd say I'm quite spontaneous and I go with the flow, but I'm not necessarily like completely led by emotion. Like it wasn't like I just flipped down, I was like, that's it, I'm leaving.

Yeah, I was just like, this isn't aligning with what I want to do and I want to start moving in the right direction, I was just like, this isn't in line with what I want to do and I want to start moving in the right direction, I guess. So what did you do with this new found clarity? I've had a lot of time alone and just doing stuff I actually enjoy doing, like being out in nature a lot. I joined a foraging workshop not long ago. Oh, fantastic. That's exciting. Yeah, and I love that. What are you going to be foraging for?

Well, it was like a forage in nibbles, so we were like trying things along the walk too. Oh, nibbles! Yeah! So I was like eating like leaves and stuff. And there is so much, it was so interesting seeing like, even things that we consider like weeds, that grow everywhere,

because then when I went home, this one thing that we tried, which was my favorite, it was called three cornered leeks, spring onion, garlicky kind of taste. That literally grows by my front door. So when I went home, this one thing that we tried, which was my favorite, it was called Three Cornered Leeks, spring onion, garlicky kind of taste. That literally grows by my front door. So when I went home, I was like, ah! There it is. No need for garlic anymore,

I've literally got it on my front door. I knew you had been just walking past that the whole time. Yeah, exactly. And what I loved is we were talking, I really loved learning about witches and stuff like that. Fantastic. And so we were talking about that side of it, and they were saying how women especially

were known as the herbalists. Foraging is more of a women's thing anyway I guess you could say the men were like hunting way back when you know and I also went to another workshop that was all about witchcraft and feminism and all stuff like that and they were saying that we've been I don't know who these people are when I'm saying they but they almost don't want us to be in touch with nature they want to keep us that I don't know't know, it's just, yeah. I like the idea of this they, who are they. Yeah, exactly, who are they?

They don't want us to be eating nature. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, I think it's such a huge, it's such a bigger issue. And I think there's a bit more of a turning point. I think people are showing more interest in these things. Yes. I mean, I think COVID- It's like you, like you.

Yeah, and I think COVID kind of helped that, actually. When we were all at home, we all started to realize that we've been doing this rat race for so long. And we've just lost track of just being human and just living and experiencing. We should be just eating leaves. Literally. Maybe we can eat, like what's this behind us?

No idea. I feel like maybe we should eat one now. I mean, you can try and I'll go off based on you. Should I try and have a nibble? Go on, go for it. It's high enough that we know that hopefully nothing's peed on you. Should I try and have a nibble? Go on, go for it. Okay. It's high enough that we know that hopefully nothing's peed on it.

Yeah. I don't know CPR, if anything happens to you. How is it? Yeah. No, Leafy? Do you want me to join you? I mean, I don't particularly wanna like eat it. Yeah, you can spit it out.

Is that okay? Nibbling's in the nibble sometimes. But it's quite bitter. Is it? We should try one. I don't particularly want to like eat it. Yeah, you can spit it out. Is that okay? Nibbling's in the nibble sometimes. But it's quite bitter. Is it? What is your problem? I don't know what it is, but. Neither of us know what it is, but. No.

This could be the end of your podcast completely. You know, it's not tasty, but it's- Oh, it's really dry. But it's good to put something different in your mouth. Do you like mime? I don't feel like I've done myself any harm there. Yeah, I'm going to spit that out. Yeah I mean it's not a keeper but we've tried at least. At least you've done something. That's the first foraging we've done on a bench. There we go, there we are.

I think we're lucky in the UK there's not that much that will kill you. Maybe upset stomach, short, ah! Oh my god on the top of your... That would be so good. I'm so in touch with nature. That would be so good. And then the bumblebee came past and killed you. Doosh! That would be great timing. We haven't had a death on the podcast yet, you know, on the bench, so that could have been a first. Or actually, a bee sting would have been good.

A bee sting, yeah. Have you ever been stung by a bee otherwise? Not a bee, a wasp, yeah. Yeah, a wasp. How did you feel about that? I went to a sleepover, and I wasn't very popular with girls when I was younger. Like, I had lots of, like, guy friends.

My mum wanted me to have, like, a good friendship group of girls. So she, like, forced me along to the sleepover, and I really wasn't enjoying it. And I went to the toilet, and I stood on the wasp as I was on the toilet. So I'm just yelling in this toilet, and all these girls are like,

this girl's fucking weird. Like we can't be yelling. One time we invite a rat. She's screaming in the loo and I didn't even want to say it, oh it was cause of wasp, but it was like literally like killed up on my foot dead. That's a good memory.

Yeah. Why didn't girls like you? To be fair, I don't know if they didn't like me is the right term. I think it was just, I didn't really get along with them as well. Any reason you could agree? I had a brother and I'm still really close to my brother, we're only a year apart. So I was always just a super tomboy. Like I was always just, yeah, a bit rough with the girls.

Another time I remember I went skating, it was a girls birthday and we went ice skating and when one of the girls went partying, I was like, yeah, I high-fived her too hard and she fell and she broke her arm. Yeah, and I was like fucking hell, I literally can't hang out. Yeah. How strong are you?

Not even that strong, I was probably only like maybe seven or eight at the time, but. How did that play out? I mean, did she forgive you? Well then I remember, no, she was like on the, like the skating rink, arm in hand crying her eyes out. And then they had to bring on like a little wheelchair with skates on it and get her in.

And then yeah, she went off to- A wheelchair with skates? Yeah, with like skates on, literally, yeah. Put her in that and skate her off. That's a lie, I've not heard of the old wheelchair on ice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wheelchair on ice, yeah. That's a new one. Yeah.

So when did you kind of overcome this, or have you overcome this? Yeah, the thing is, then I went totally the opposite. I ended up getting my first job was in fragrance. What do you mean by fragrance? Oh, sorry, like working on a department store, like selling fragrance. For fragrance, got it.

And I remember one of my, like my probation meeting, they were like, you're doing really well, but like, we think your presentation should be a bit better. And I was like, what do you mean? And they were like, no, we think you should wear like lipstick and makeup and like wear heels to work. And I remember that being a bit, you were allowed to say those things then,

like it was literally in the uniform that women had to wear heels. And it had to be a certain amount of inches. But yeah, I remember being told that I needed to present more girly. I started wearing more makeup to work obviously. And then I got a job in makeup. So now I do have girlfriends, yeah.

Yeah. But like first meeting, I get along with guys better in first meetings. So is there any kind of remnants, anything left over of those times where you didn't get, are you still thinking about it? Not really. What I do feel like I struggle with even now

is I know that a lot of girls who've got boyfriends don't like me in that sense. I'm really close to my brothers, all my brothers mates, I know that a lot of their girlfriends don't like me. Is that because they perceive you as a someone who gets on too well with boys? Yeah, yeah and I really don't mean it in any way and I think a lot of that in that situation is because I've known the boys for so long since I was so young. How do you know that they don't like you? I don't know, I think it's just, it is.

In the look? Like even my brother I think is like, yeah they definitely don't like you. How do you approach that? If you know you're going to Situation Men and they're there, do you go, well I'm gonna try and be super nice, or am I gonna try and just not even look at them?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If anything I try to be, like, there's been some nights where I've just had not as great of a night, because I've ended up being with the girls the whole night, because I've just not wanted to even then there to be anything of like, da, da, da, da, da, you know? And it's just, I've never ever had as much fun,

like just with the girls. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Talk to me about your brother. So you've got a close relationship, you're a year apart. Yeah. If you could think back to like a childhood memory, what do you think about in that sense? Oh gosh. So many memories. My brother says all the time, he's like, I raised you. Oh wow. Yeah, he says- That's a bold claim.

Yeah. He says all the time, he's like, you're one of the boys and you're cool because I raised you. He's like, if it wasn't for me you would have gone down a super girly route and you would have been well boring. Do you agree with him? I think in a certain degree, yeah. I am my brother for sure. Even when we speak people say that we sound so similar and we laugh the same. But only once, and it's my favourite photo ever, did I ever get my brother to dress up what I wanted to dress up as, which was fairies. So I've got a picture of him and he's got heels on

and a skirt and fairy wings, but other than that, it's me and I'm like an army soldier, I'm a power ranger, I'm like anything he, it was always what he wanted to do. But you only had that one time you got fairies. That one time, yeah, so I put them in heels, lipstick, the lot. Love it, you made the most of it. How did you get in that one time? How did you do it? I don't remember that, I don't even remember the day, the lot. You made the most of it. How did you get in that one time? How did you do it?

I don't even remember the day. I've just got an image of us and my brother looks fuming in the picture. And I'm just like happy, like loving my life. And it's just the funniest photo I have because we're both on the stairs. He just looks livid. What have you done with this picture?

Do you know, we haven't actually done anything with it. We were not a family with like loads of pictures on the wall actually. Oh, but to be fair, my dad used to have a business and it used to be in the house. So I guess maybe it was to do with that. Dentist? No, no, not a dentist, osteopath.

Close. Yeah. Yeah. But he did Chinese medicine and stuff like that. So we've got loads of Chinese stuff around the house. What does Chinese stuff mean? Imagery? Yeah, imagery, posters. I remember that

kids would always kind of like fear coming around our house because we'd have just the weirdest stuff. They'd fear it? Yeah, one of our rooms which actually we've called the red room because it was like the... but it was just because the carpet was red, that was all. What happened in the red rooms? So that's where my dad would have like all his swords and stuff. Okay swords We're getting the swords out now. Yeah When would he use these swords just when he was like training and stuff training to oh, sorry. Sorry I didn't even get into that. He does kung fu. Sorry. He does that gay. Don't worry I just it's easy to jump ahead sometimes we can we can always work back. No, it's never too far We can never too far gone. I was just assuming I was said Chinese medicine. It's easy to jump ahead sometimes. We can always work back. No, it was never too far.

We could never too far gone. I was just assuming I was like Chinese medicine. Yeah, that all times goes. And then he had the swords. And obviously he just used the swords. And that was what he did on a Sunday. Yeah, so he was teaching Kung Fu as well. With swords?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are these swords quite sharp? A lot of them, no, when you you're teaching beginners and stuff like that. But once my dad, and this is a memory of my brother actually, he was showing my brother some moves that he learned and it was a lot of spinning and stuff. And our house is a proper low house

and there's old wooden beams. And my dad was used to practicing where the roofs were higher I guess, because we hadn't long moved into this house. And the back of the sword hit the beam and came down and sliced through his arm. Yeah, and it was instant. I didn't know what vein or artery or whatever it was, but it just went like all on the ceiling.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, I'm back here sitting down. And my brother's like five and I'm probably about four and we're seeing this. And yeah, I just remember the panic on my mom. She was like, put your shoes on. I just remember putting our little Velcro shoes on on the bottom of the stairs. My dad had just lost all color and he had towels right around his arm. They were white but they just turned red.

So many questions. Why are you putting your shoes on? We're going to the hospital. Of course. We're in the car and we're going. What do you remember from that point on? That this is where I think I didn't have a fear of hospitals and I think it was from this because Okay, number one when we're on the bottom of the stairs when I'm doing my shoes my mum still remembers this story She was worried I was gonna be a psychopath Yeah Because my brother was crying and I was completely silent and then my brother was like, oh my god dad dad dad

I just turned to my brother and I apparently straight face just said dad's gonna die Was like, oh my god, she's like, don't say that, get in the car. Get in the car. I'm like four years old. I don't know if my brain's even like understand like registering what's happening. And then anyway, we get in the car, go to the hospital. And it was the first time ever I've realized

that my parents didn't care where I was. Cause obviously my mum was so concerned about my dad and my dad was out of it. They just ran into the hospital and I'm just left in the middle of the emergency department and everything seemed so big and it was so loud and chaotic and I didn't know where I was supposed to go. I remember I followed the blood drips to then find where my dad, what room he was in. Oh my God, you followed the blood drips. Literally, yeah. That's probably one of my earliest memories. Yeah, that's mad, isn't

it? What an early memory! Crikey. And obviously he was okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was fine. Crikey. Any fear of swords for me? No, not fear of swords, fear of hospitals. I hate hospitals. Oh, God. When was the last time you were in a hospital? I mean, have you had the faces for you? Yeah, literally a year ago. Because I've got endometriosis. What's that? How do I explain it? It's to do with periods.

It's painful periods. When you're on your period, this lining that grows is what then sheds so you bleed and it grows outside of the uterus. So it causes bad pains, it causes cramping, yeah, and stuff like that, yeah. So were you in hospital for a particularly bad moment of this? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And did your fear come back at that particular point or not really?

Not really, because I was in such bad pain, you don't care where you are really, you're just like, just fix me, sort it. How does it impact your life, would you say? Oh my God. Well, every single month, you know it's coming, that's the issue. And it's like you get pains when you're like ovulating

and then you also get pains then when you're having a period. And it's also painful during like sexual interactions with your partner. And there's really, there's no cure for it. They can do operations to remove the lining, but it just grows back. So, it's only, yeah, it literally.

So, um. Can you try and describe the pain? Oh gosh. For me, it's like searing pain. It's like not being able to sit down because the pain is strong up through your back and everything. Cramps are horrendous.

Honestly, I can't actually explain it. My mum was the one who eventually was like, okay, we're going to get you diagnosed because this is so bad. I've never seen anything like it. I would lose all colour and I'd be passing out and she'd have to hold me up right on the toilet because I'd be vomiting into the bathtub while I'm trying to just go to the toilet. And I can't stand up straight because the pain is so bad. bathtub while I'm trying to just go to the toilet. And I can't stand up straight because the pain is so bad.

It's like you just need to be bowled over. I think the worst thing is now not living at home and not having my mum to help me. That's the worst part, because when it's really bad, you literally can't do anything. It's whatever you're doing has to stop. So if I'm like midway through cooking, you have to stop.

So who helps you now? Who helps me now? To be honest, a lot of it I'm doing alone. It wasn't that long ago I split with my ex so he was quite helpful when I was going through things. But not now. But not now, now I'm on my own. Yeah but sometimes I do have to call people and people have to come and help. Yeah it's very intense. Blimey. Apparently I saw recently it's in the top 10 most painful conditions. Top 10? Not number? Yeah!

I didn't see the exact rank, Amy. Number one? Not number one. Wow, you're a pussy. Don't be daughty. Yeah. How has it changed you as a person? Changed me? I've tried to learn about my body more,

which is where I think I've got more in tune with nature. And I'm very passionate now about women living more the way that they should and I think that your cycle has a lot with how you should live. Interesting. Yeah and I think that we... Tell me more about that. I think a lot of people speak about this now and I know that there's some strong opinions but I do think that men and women are inherently different and I think that we try to live

a lot like just men and we shouldn't and I think it actually affects our health. Don't live like men. Yeah, but I think it affects our health. Even they say that a man's cycle is 24 hours and a woman is usually around 28 days so when you're tired in the morning that's because of certain levels in your hormones whereas a woman might have those levels of hormones for like four days, where we might feel so low and we don't have the energy to do anything.

We just have to push through. So I'm learning more stuff like that. I'm learning during certain parts of my cycle to not push myself so much. And I think that's made it different. And the way I eat, I eat differently for certain times of my cycle. And I seed cycle now, so I eat certain seeds during.

Some seeds, yeah. Seed cycle. Yeah, because seeds help your hormones, pumpkin seeds. Nice, when do they come in though? So pumpkin seeds is what I'm having now, so I'm pretty sure that's when you're in your follicular phase, that's when you've come off your period. Yeah, and it's so follicular and ovulatory,

and then things like sunflower seeds, you have them when you're on your period. Obviously fantastic. Don't completely quote me on that though, I might need to Google it. Yeah. I'm going to start having all the seeds now and hope that my cycles just get better. Is there anything that's been a blessing in disguise about it? As horrible as it's been, I'm glad for this element of it. it Yeah, I think for years this ties into me being a tomboy as well

There was an era of my life where I was like mama want to be a boy. I don't have periods I don't want to do this. I don't want kids and da da da and I really hated being a woman I really really didn't like it and I think through having the condition I don't know I ended up learning more about a woman's body, why I'm having certain feelings and learning how to eat and how to help myself alongside it just to ease symptoms. I think it gave me a whole new respect for women as a whole. There's just such a superhuman quality about women's bodies and how we literally create life. Of course, 100%. I think loads of people say of course, but I think when you actually start to learn about it, I don't know, it's so fascinating

It sounds like it should be the opposite way round Through having this condition I should hate being one more But I've actually grown more appreciation for my body And that I think is invaluable I love that Yeah Tell me about witches. Witches, okay.

Because you mentioned witches earlier. Yes. How does one get in? Growing up in the 90s there was so much about witches, like so many TV shows, films, it was like proper cool. So I think already that our age group was kind of open to it. And then I don't know, now I've learned like the history side of it and it came into herbalism and foraging and stuff because women were realizing there was certain

plants that they could eat which would terminate pregnancies. So if you were with a husband that you didn't love, which would happen all the time obviously, and you were worried you were pregnant, women were having these herbs and men hated knowing that women had control over something because obviously they controlled everything to do with women At those times it goes to show the power in women Like yeah, and that we are so like inherently in tune with nature and cycles and and I think we've been pushed whoever they are I think I think there's something to be feared in a sense, when we all work together living the way that we should with Earth.

But it's not. They want something else for us. They, these fucking nays. So now you're, I mean, now you don't have a job? Uh, no, no, I'm starting at the end of the month. So I'm going to move into a job. Oh, I see. Okay.

If you, if you didn't have to do a job, what do you think you would do? Oh my God, so much. I think about this all the time. I've loved this time off. I have so many hobbies. I don't have time for. I love painting. Lovely.

I really love painting. Actually, I do a lot of naked women and a lot of fruit. Naked women and fruit? Yeah, they're two together a lot. What particular fruit? Anything that sort of represents female anatomy or like, I don't know, there's something quite sexual about some fruit I think. This is true. There is isn't it? Peach? Yeah, literally. Sexy. Yeah, peaches, cherries, pomegranates. Are there any fruits that aren't sexy? Exactly Joe, now we're getting into it. Actually what is the unsexiest fruit let's think. So that's just really hard. I mean blueberry. Blueberry yeah probably yeah. Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's one of the least. I feel like it's not giving anything overly sexualized to me. Yeah, yeah.

Necessarily. Kiwi maybe, not sexy. I mean, there's quite a reveal there. Do you know what I mean? Imagine your first kiwi. Brown, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, if you look at the outside, oh, what's that?

You know, you cut it, you're like, oh, hello. Oh, yeah, ooh. Kind of quite, oof, sexy kiwi. You're not looking at kiwis, right? That's your problem, you've got to rethink kiwis. Maybe that's what you need to do to paint sexy kiwis. You're not looking at kiwis, right? That's your problem, you've got to rethink kiwis. Maybe that's what you need to do to paint sexy kiwis. And that's your like- Justice for kiwis.

Exactly, like bring back sexy kiwis. Yeah. Anyway, so you paint these, sorry. Right there, look. So I find our mission to find the unsexiest fruit. Do you know what, you're going to be walking down the road one day and you're going to think of a random fruit and go, that's totally not sexy. That was the unsexiest fruit. Do you know what? You're going to be walking down the road one day and you're going to think of a random fruit and go, that's totally not sexy.

That was the unsexiest one, undoubtedly the unsexiest one. And then I'll definitely remember. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever put a kiwi in one? Kiwi in a painting? No, no I haven't. Destiny.

You've really opened my eyes. It's got to happen now. I didn't think I was going to get such inspiration from this bench. If it doesn't happen, I'm going to be devastated. I'll buy it. You'll get, okay, fine. I'll buy it. Whatever it looks like.

Okay, fine. This is a commission. This is a commission. Okay. Amazing. Massive kiwi with a tiny naked woman on it. Yeah. Can you think of the best lie you've ever told?

Oh, best lie. Oh my God. Oh, that's a big lie. No, no. Do you know what I've just thought of? Oh, no. What? No, it's funny. When I was a little kid, me and my brother were arguing. This is going to make me sound like a psycho. I'm not. It was just kids. It's funny, when I was a little kid, me and my brother were arguing, this is gonna make me sound like a psycho, I'm not, we was just kids. We were arguing, and I pushed him and he fell down the stairs,

and I was holding my dinner in one hand, and I was like, shit, and my brother was going, Mom, mom, at the bottom of the stairs, and I was like, there's only one option, I have to throw myself down as well. When my mom comes, I go, no, I fell, and I pushed him with me. So my brother was like, she's lying, she's lying.

But there's dinner all over the stairs, I'm also like broken at the bottom of the stairs. And I was like, mom, I wouldn't have thrown myself down the stairs, right? And she was like, no, fully. That's the first thing that came to my mind. That is a, there's a lot to unpack there. And what did your brother think about that?

He was in the bottom like, what is going on? He's been pushed down the stairs and then he's had dinner flung down the stairs at him. His sister probably landed on him. Yes. Poor guy. That's a really good one. Yes. Any recent lies? No.

From that moment on, you just... Yes, I was like, this is too much. This caused me too much harm. No, I really can't think of anything. What was your breakup like? My breakup? Perfect segue. Yeah, yeah. How did that go?

Sometimes you just got to make your own bridge. You certainly did that. No, yeah, he was a great guy. And there's no- Not great enough. No, not great enough no he has a passion for music and he really wants to be a musician. Not music. Yeah you didn't hate his music. No no didn't hate his music no no. What was his music like? I always supported his music wanted to do music. Did he write songs about you? Yeah loads of songs about me.

What was that like? It's hard to say actually because some are nice obviously but then some are like you're getting their side of the story through a song and you'd be like I can't even respond it's a song but I want to be like that's not how I went. You've got to do your own song. Yeah I know I've envied people that can. Can you sing? Well I don't know if you can hear my accent but I'm from Wales and everyone from Wales can sing. You can sing, you can sing come on. I can't write. Do you know my accent but I'm from Wales and everyone from Wales can sing. You can sing. You can sing, come on.

Do you know the Welsh national anthem? Yeah. I love that. Yeah, it's a good one. Can you sing it for me? No way! Shall we sing it together? Do you want to sing it? It's in Welsh, isn't it?

Yeah, of course. Do you know it? I know the tune. Okay! Maybe we should finish, when we finish, we should finish by trying to sing the national anthem. Okay, fabulous. Okay, fabulous. Okay, so what kind of thing, like, can you say what kind of thing, like, was he saying? What, in the songs?

Yeah, like, there's one song where it was like, it was things that I would always... She's a witch. Yeah, imagine, yeah. Just straight to the point, yeah. My girlfriend's a witch. Yeah. No, it was like, there was something where I was like, that's what I would say. And it was always something that he disagreed with.

And then he put it in the song, making it sound really romantic that it was coming from the guy. And I was like, that's what I would say. So, was it an act? No, what was it? Amicable. Amicable, sorry. Yeah, we're still friends and we still text.

What do you think is going to happen? I don't know. That's when I wish my witchcraft skills could... What are the witches saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally. I don't know, it's hard to say. But yeah, I do stand by, like, I know what I want out of my life and I don't want to be the type of person that settles because of someone else.

Like, his dreams are so strong. I was reaching a point that I was sacrificing a lot that I want to do in my life to live his dreams. And then I realised I was like, whenever I want to pursue something, I don't get the same support. I need to do what I need to do. Yeah. I favour myself right now, which was a change. Yeah, that made so much sense. Yeah.

And so, you know, looking forward, what do you think, what do you feel now? What, is it like if I go out with another musician or something? Oh no, just generally. How does one go about finding the right kind of lover? Oh, I don't want one now. I'm really enjoying it. I realised how much I gave, like I wanted to make sure that they were eating really healthy and like I was helping them in terms of like doing like laundry and stuff like that. Just being a good partner, what I think is a good partner. But then I realized that that came as a detriment to myself

because then there was nights that I wasn't going out because I felt like I wanted to catch up on certain things. And do you know what I mean? So now I'm living just for myself and it's like, if I've had a day where I really can't be asked to cook, I won't cook. Whereas I felt like I was kind of letting someone else down if he was coming home and then there wasn't food.

And he was never asking me to do these things. That's just the type of person I am in a relationship. I like to give a lot. I've realized that if it wasn't necessarily 100% perfect, I shouldn't be giving that much of myself to someone. And I think I'm just enjoying living for me right now. I think I'm young enough to as well. What would you try and do differently this time around?

I don't know if it's a, I don't, oh, that's a hard one. I don't know if it's necessarily I would do anything different, because I think that is just the type of person, I recognized a lot of my mum in me. She's just that type of mum and partner. Like she does a lot for my dad, which is what I think I just then automatically did myself. But I think that's nice and I think that's a skill that complements being a woman quite well. I'm not saying I want to be a trad wife or anything, because that's

like a taboo thing to talk about these days as well. But like, it felt just a bit unbalanced. So it's more so I think I'd be more aware of what am I getting out of this as well. Because he literally told me I was second best to music. Like he literally said that music was the top and I was below that. Oh, really? Yeah. So, yeah.

But it's all for the best. All for the best, really, yeah. Because I think I would have been stuck there still and I didn't realize how much it was having an effect on me. Yeah. Yeah. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Can you, without saying where we are, don't say the name of where we are, can you say what you can see in front of us, describe it and how it makes you feel?

Wait, so I can say tree? No, no, no. You can't say any names or anything. You can describe. Sorry, you can't say the name of like the park we're in. Okay, I thought I was going to have to... Sorry, yeah, like I can't say grass. I can't say person. What can I say?

It's... We're in a white box, everyone. We're just in the studio. Two straight jackets in a white box everyone. We're just in the studio. Two straight jackets in a white box. So I've just got to describe. Yeah, what's in front of you? Two trees. One slightly... I hate to ruin this but there's a lot more than two trees. No but right now in my sudden vision we're getting there. Hang on, artistic. Okay, sorry. We have a footpath in front of us, then some grass, then we have two trees,

one directly in front of me. What tree is this actually? It's got a sign on it. It does. What does that say? Should I go and have a look? Go have a little look. Hang on, I can take, I mean,

beauty of these microphones, you take it with you. Give me a hint when you get it. Yeah. beauty of these microphones you take with you. Give me a hint when you get it. Yeah, oh I mean that's it's the name of the tree. Oh what like Ralph. Oh, sorry. It's Ralph. It's Ralph. It's... It begins with a P. No. It's a poplar. Oh, pop would never have guessed that.

Okay, so we've got a poplar in front of us. Then, slightly off to that, we've got one tree, but it's branched off into three, and people have drawn all over it, so there's a lot of love views, and people like carved into it. Oh they have, haven't they? I'll go, I'll just tell them I've got to go over there now.

Do you want to go and see that one? Should we go see the tree? Go see it, just take your thing, hang on. I have to put my shoes on. In the magic of technology, I think it should work. This is the furthest anyone's been, I think, on this progress. Is it? Wow.

That's about, what, 20? I've broken a lot of boundaries today. That's 15 meters away, I reckon, 20 meters. So take that with you. Okay, she's off to go see the tree. There we today. That's 15 metres away I reckon, 20 metres. So take that with you. Okay, she's off to go shoot the tree. Here we go, what's she gonna find? There's an OVE, to be fair, this has been written ages ago because the tree's grown over it.

One word looks like die and love hearts. Don't think it was that entertaining really. It's really overgrown. But then you can just see where I'm guessing it said love. But it just says V. Fantastic. So what are we saying? Where were we now?

We're kind of towards, we're nearly in Washington. Oh God, now I'm getting scared. I always ask, the last kind of question I ask is the one I ask everyone, which what are you going to do next? Do you have an answer to that one? And then we'll try and do the Washed Out Lantern. You try and say that while I try and get it up on my phone. I feel like I have an idea of what I want to do with my life in a sense I guess.

My friend was that she just texted me and she's on like a spiritual retreat type thing at the moment and she was like, I just had this feeling, she was like we need to do something together and we've never spoke about this before but it was so funny when she was, she's recently just come back from Africa and while she was away I had the feeling that we need to start running our own spiritual retreat. You can do it? Yeah. That's it?

Yeah, start small. They say start small. Invite the people. Yeah, exactly. Call it just witchcraft, witchcraft do it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, start small. They say start small. Invite the people. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Call it just witchcraft, witchcraft. Yeah. Witchy.

Witchy way. Yeah. My witchy way. Witchy way. The witchy way. Yeah. But basically all things are just, you know, you just gotta start them

and then see what happens. Exactly. That's the magic. I was discussing with ChatGBT on how to get it running. Oh really? Because that's the way to do it. What were they saying? They?

They? That's the they. That is they. There's AI all along. That is they, isn't it? There's AI all along. That's the way to do it. What were they saying? They? That's the they. That is they. That is they, isn't it? There's AI all along. That is the they. We got ya! We got you in the end. It was AI.

It was AI. Okay, I think let's now, I'm gonna get out of the wash now, actually. Okay, I'll call them, we'll sing my vocals. And let's try and sing this. Let's sing this. Oh geez.

Okay, so it's this. Yeah. So the tune is like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. And then it goes like, da da da da da da da da da. Okay now this is to be so embarrassing. You know I haven't done this since I was in primary school, so I'm actually not very good

at it. I don't know if this is going to be worse for me or for you. Oh God, probably me. I've got an expectation of it. So it's my hand, glad for not dying, and really me, glad that the cantorio de mogno o fri E glorio... What the hell is that one? Glorio...

Gladio gladorio... Glorio glorio gl, glow. See, I don't even know it. I don't even know it. Is that it? Yeah. It's a half bow, half bow, it is a half bow. Yeah. That was pretty good. That was a bit alright there.

I proper showed that I can't do it. No, but you... My dad will be really embarrassed. Oh no. He'll go, oh god, we panicked. There we go. Well thank you so much for chatting. No, thank you. We made it, we made it to the end.

Yeah, it was really interesting. That's the first time it's finished with the Warshlet But we can do a terrible. But how can you actually do it? Because that was the time to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well thank you very much. No, thank you. It was fun. It was definitely interesting. I quit my job today, never liked it anyway Ran out of things to say And I never, never quite belonged Brother, I used to think that we were one

And being you was fun Till I felt the pain and saw the blood And realized I was wrong Right through running like a boy through my mind Following your lead, leaving the girls behind Fall down stairs and fairy wings leave all these childhood things now i follow the blood, follow the blood

for lord till in the quiet, till in the quiet now i follow the blood, follow the blood Dylan and Gwai, Dylan and Gwai Now I follow the blood, follow the blood, follow The blood Boys hurt but women bleed And I got everything I need And it's good in the garden cause I planted the seed The heart's a hungry mouth to feed That's the last time I ever come second to a song I loved you baby but you know that wrong I could sing if I wanted I could howl at the moon

There's a big change coming and it's coming soon