Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 92: Stand By Me

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

Tom Rosenthal approaches a stranger on a park bench and asks if he can sit down next to them and record their conversation.This is what happened! Produced by Tom RosenthalEdited by Rose De LarrabeitiMixed by Mike WoolleyTheme tune by Tom Rosenthal & Lucy Railton Incidental music by Maddie AshmanEnd song : 'You Come Around' by CalÿpsoStream it here : https://ffm.to/youcomearoundsoabListen to all the end songs featured on the podcast (so far) on one handy playlist :https://ffm.to/soabendsongs————————————————————————————Instagram : @strangersonabench Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, so it to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? You feeling ready? Yes, ready.

Superb. Yeah, the only question you don't like, just say, don't like it. Do you need a safe word? The word that came to my head was pineapple But I feel like that's just Good word It's a good word Yeah, I'll just say pineapple

I'm ready Do you have a favourite day of the week? Wednesday Straight in there, no doubt Yeah I don't work Wednesdays that's why You don't work Wednesdays No

I don't work weekends either But I think there's something different About having a day off in the week Because even like coming here It's a lot more peaceful than if I came on the weekend Yes. It feels that little bit nicer. You're on your own special island.

Exactly. And we're on an island as well. Exactly. An island on an island. Exactly. Although I wish it was an island that had nicer sand, nicer weather. But yeah. Well, there's no sand in London.

No, not in London. There's a bit by the Thames. If you're like, you know, you go down where that's not being a... No, not dipping my toes on the Thames. I don't think that sounds nice. Absolutely. Have you ever touched the Thames with your hands? No.

No. How do you feel when you look upon a river like that? The Thames? I don't know. Like, water in general, I think, it's quite peaceful to see water. Yeah. But you look at the Thames and then you see

the boats coming past, then you see the colour of the water, and yeah. But I can appreciate water. I just find water quite peaceful. And when you hear water, I like the sound of water. Like a dripping tap?

Maybe not a dripping tap, because, I mean, something's wrong. but like a waterfall or even rain. I love rain. Oh do you? The sound of rain. That's my go-to when I'm at home and I just need a bit of sound in the background, especially in the evening I play rain. Play rain. Yeah, well, you just type in rain? Yeah, on rain sounds. Yeah, there's so many playlists. Of course. Of course. I mean, you know, if you had to get particular about, you know, your type of rain sound that you favour, what would you say? Just like a light drizzle.

Like, it's that feeling of being inside and the rain just hitting the window. Can you trace why you find the piece with you, do you think you didn't have an answer? Yeah. My life, or sometimes your brain just feels like it's always working at 100 miles per hour. I think just anything that just slows it down. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And then so when you see it's raining, if you wake up one morning, you see it's raining outside.

Do you just feel joyous? Yeah, I like it. I mean, I feel more joyous when I see sunshine. Yeah. But I'm not that person. You know, when someone sees it's raining, they're like, oh, it's raining. I just like, I don't know. Oh, it's raining.

Beautiful. And it's so natural, isn't it? Like, we need rain. So. Definitely. So when you put it on, you say, you know, you need to de-stress or just calm down. What's making you stress at the moment? So, like, I lost my husband.

three years ago and I have moments where my anxiety can be quite heightened or my emotions are quite heightened and I just need to bring it down and just have a moment and I think yeah rain sounds or even just sit in here and you just hear the wind I don't know if it's a distraction of you connect to the sound and therefore it just brings you that calm and I think going through something like that, I've had to try and find those things that do bring me that peace and that calmness. And yeah, I just need moments where it just feels like it can just stop for a moment and I can just concentrate on that one thing. Yeah.

So prior to losing your husband, rain sounds weren't part of your life. This is after. No, this is after. Okay. Yeah. What would your husband think of this, your rain sound? affection? Probably think I'm a bit bonkers,

but then I would then play it and he would be like, oh actually yeah, yeah, this is good. That happened with a lot of things with my husband that there was things he's like, nope, don't get it. And then he'd be like, enjoying it. But he wouldn't say it. But he'd definitely think I was a little bit bonkers.

There's nothing wrong with bonkers. Did he have any bonkers in him? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was his bonkers bits? Oh, that's a good thing. I feel like just the way he did things, like he would cook a mill and use every single utensil possible. Get them all out. All out.

And I'm just like, it would be a rolling pin being used and there's no baking or anything. Yeah, that's what I loved about him. He was just a bit bonkers and a bit, but I feel like I was a little bit bonkers. So we just both worked. It just worked. Yeah. How did you meet? Work.

And then I think he was trying to like go out with me a few times. I was like, oh, should we go out? And I was like, no, I'm busy. No, I'm going out with. And like I'd say, going out with someone else that was at work. And then that person come to me later and be like, um, apparently we're going out. Yeah, apparently we're going out somewhere.

And then eventually we just went to cinema and for Enando's. And then from there, we just... What film did you see? It was a fast and furious, but I can't remember which one. I can't remember. There's a lot of them. Yeah, there's loads. It was 2013.

So it's whichever one came out that year. 2013. Were you focused on the film or focused on him? What was the vibe? I think I was focused on the film, but that was more because I hadn't seen the one before that, so I didn't know what was going on. They're just being really fast and really furious.

They're just going around. Yeah, and when we went Fernandos, I remember him, he was saying, oh, on a first date, you never eat anything like it's stuck in your teeth, or you have to eat with your hands and gets messy. and he had chicken wings and corn on the cob. So as he was saying this? Yeah, exactly.

And that's what I was saying about being bonkers. Yeah, it was then I was like, do you know what? I like this guy. He's funny. What was a moment after that where, I mean, maybe it was that moment, but like where you felt something kind of click and like this is a extra special connection? I think it was when I went through,

a situation with some friends and this was at the beginning when we started dating and he was very supportive of it and very good at listening and I was really like emotional and stuff and I think it was in that moment I was like

it doesn't matter my flaws or who I am this guy just likes me for what he sees kind of thing and I think I was always that person that just felt like I was in the background and I think I compensated that sometimes for being loud and stuff

and I just felt in that moment I was like oh this person just likes me for who I am I can just be me kind of thing and I think that was the moment when I was like yeah this feels right how was work I mean being at work

with him after you started seeing each other what was that one of my worries work and then personal and you know blurring those lines but actually it was it was actually fine the people know yeah yeah no we did tell we did tell people because did you have to tell people straight away I mean like say oh we're we're going on dates or do you then did you wait until you're actually like an official couple so I think we waited until we were an official couple and we told the manager because we were different levels and he was like yep happy that's fine thank you for let me know

And then I think the rest just came either we told people or people just knew. They saw you in the statured cupboards. Exactly. Exactly. Pretend them we were in there to get pens. The notepad. I think I've run out of pens again. And they'll be like, eh, any, use a computer.

I love it. And then fast forward, you're getting married? Yes. How long, how long, what we're talking? So I got married 2016. Okay. So that's 10 years ago. Yeah, 10 years ago this year.

And it was... What was the wedding like? It was wonderful. It was chaotic. Yeah, it was just... Actually, before we get to the day, just realise, proposal? Yeah, so the proposal...

What was that like? What was that like? Quite interesting because it was his 30th and I planned this surprise. Well, I thought it was a surprise. You were planning a surprise for his 30th. his 30th.

Got it. But he had told his best friend that he wanted to propose. So his best friend said, oh, she's planning this surprise 30th for you. Reverse surprise. Yeah. Why didn't you surprise her with the proposal? So all our family came together, did the surprise thing. He pretended.

He was shocked. He was like, oh my God. Then later on, the cake comes out. We sing happy birthday. And then I think I was, yeah, I wasn't facing. And then everyone was like, oh. And I was like, what's going on? What's going on?

And I turned around and he was on one knee proposal. And I just froze. And he asked the question and I just froze. Like I didn't. And then my mum had to give me a little, you need to answer. And I was like, kind of like, intense. Yeah. Can you describe like what was kind of going through your mind at that moment?

I was like, confused? No, I'm doing the surprise. Like, and then I think it was that. moment of realizing, wow, this person wants to be with me for, you know, the rest of my life kind of thing. We'd spoken about marriage, but I'd never said I want to get married. I never said I didn't. So I think it shocked me. And then I think everybody was just looking at me and I was just like all these eyes on me kind of. And then... How do that feel? It's like it went silent, but you can see all these eyes on you. And it's like, I was in slow motion.

and I could just see all these people looking at me and making faces but I couldn't hear the noise and then I think it was a time my mum tapped me and then I was like back in the room kind of thing I think it was the next day when it hit me and it was so lovely to just be with friends and family I think that just followed through into our wedding we just wanted it to be really meaningful to us

and be how we wanted it to be and it was yeah it was perfect back to the proposal for a second at what point did you say yes then assuming you said yes maybe maybe you delayed I did but it was like a yeah it wasn't a yes it wasn't a it was trying to get words out yeah and I don't know if my mom hadn't given me that nudge I don't know how long I would have been standing there frozen yeah it's funny I was just thinking as you were talking about it of all the questions you're asked yeah it's one of the ones where you probably should deliberate it the maximum amount of time.

Mm-hmm. And it's funny to think in the setup, you actually get no time to think about it. It's so true. Just realized. And, you know, you do see and hear people that go away from it. And then now they've had time to like think about it. And they're like, oh, I think I might have made the wrong decision.

And it's so true. Anything, I think, life-changing, we do like say, I need to go and think about that. Can I have a moment? Yeah. Kind of something's so life-changing. You have to answer in that moment. Yeah.

And even more, I suppose, really, literally, How many eyes do you think were on you? Exactly, exactly. That's also very niche as an experience, this idea of being asked a question and people waiting for you to say the answer, but like on mass, like a lot of people looking, you know? Yeah, I guess that pressure, there's a room now of people

that you could either make happy or make upset rather than just one person. But I think he knew that it was the right time. He knew it was the right kind of occasion. And it was because it was so nice to then be able to do that with people that you love. Yeah. And have them around you. So it's definitely memorable.

Yes, definitely memorable. Yes, definitely. And I think even amongst my friends and family, it's still very memorable. Because even when he was down on one knee, so he had a T-shirt on, that people were like signing, like putting messages on. And as he went down on one knee, his nan was like, like, no, it's my time to write my message. He's nice and low.

I can write my message. Brilliant. Whilst he's proposing, she's just there. She rocks up? She's just there writing. Hold that thought. This is the perfect level. Yeah, and even in the pictures,

you can see he's on one knee and his nans just on his back with the pen, sign in the tuck. And that's what I love about. It's like, it's a thing we can laugh about and talk about. Beautiful. And then let's fast forward to the wedding. Mm-hmm. Lots of questions one can ask about wedding,

but can you think of the bit of it. you remember but it's not necessarily a spectacular moment but a kind of a gentle kind of mundane moment of it like a moment that for some reason stayed with you i think it was i remember i went to the toilet and it was just me and it's like a busy day there's people all around you from like from six in the morning and i remember i was just it was just me in the toilet and i think i just looked in the mirror. I don't know. It was that realization of like this is one of the happiest

moments of my life and just looking at myself and being happy. I never shared that with anybody but I think it was just that moment for me that realization of

I'm happy and this is happy and sometimes you just don't know where you're going to be at a certain age or I don't know, sometimes we have these plans that we think, oh, by this age, I'm going to be doing this. And I didn't have any of that. And I had all these things that, you know, my friends were doing.

I wasn't doing. And I was like, I don't know what my life's going to look like or what it's going to be. And just that moment of realizing that, like, my life is okay and it's good. And that sometimes you just have to let life just take you. where it needs to take you and things will happen at the time that they need to. It was just having that time

just me, just me. Great answer. Also, it counts probably for your favourite toilet moment as well. Yeah, if I'd ask you, what's your favourite moment in the toilet? That is exactly it. That probably covers that one. That is exactly it. Two for the price of one.

When you were looking at yourself in the mirror that moment. Yes. You know, with mirrors, you know, they tend to be around our spaces if you look at them every now and again and kind of check in with ourselves. Do you think in a sense you're like you're checking in with yourself like all the way down the light? It's like you were speaking to all the different versions of yourself somehow.

Exactly that. Almost like you were speaking to the journey as well. Exactly that. And I felt like it was me talking to younger me and just saying, see, everything is okay kind of thing. Like we did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.

We did it. You thought you weren't, you had all these doubts, you had all these fears. And I think, yeah, it was just in that moment where I just had no fear. I think sometimes we can use a mirror to look at the floors we have or, you know, the things that don't look right. And then I think it was a moment where I looked at the beauty, just the beauty of my life. and the beauty of the moment and I think sometimes we don't stop to do that. When you look in a mirror now, what are you saying to yourself now? So I think now I would see a bit of sadness to do with the things I've gone through in, you know,

the past few years, but also that sadness of looking and feeling like, I'm missing those moments. Those moments of enjoying that time in your life or something you've gone through. And I feel like now I look in the mirror and I do the opposite. Rather than thinking and looking and being like, do you know what, I'm here?

Like I'm going for a walk or it's a nice day. I kind of look at it as it's just me. I just see me, this lonely figure. And I do have people, but I think I, yeah, I visualise my life and myself very different to that day, you know, nearly 10 years ago. Like just now talking about the wedding day engagement and I'm like, no, there are. I have had some joyous moments and they're still a snapshot now by just talking about it. And actually it's not gone.

Like it feels like, yeah, you take that picture and then it's a. rays but actually those those pictures are still there. Those memories are still there. It sounds like you know they're still very much a part of you. Yeah. But now there are a few other parts as well. And when you looked in that mirror on that day there wasn't anything else but the kind of pure joy of it.

Exactly. But I think it's finding pockets of joy in those moments that maybe don't feel it kind of, do you know, you know, it could be a sad day but the sunshine is. and actually, oh, there's sunshining. That's so nice. And just finding those little bits of joy and I think that's what I'm learning to do and appreciate.

Yeah. Where are your pockets of joy now? You could think your last little pocket of joy that you experience, what would it have been? I think stuff like this. Like just here, when I sit here and I look out and I just appreciate what is on my doorstep and then naturally that will give me

some joy or I don't know something silly like I'll cook a dinner and oh like I made this kind of and it tastes good those little things that happen that aren't big but actually you can find joy in them and they're the things that I have learned to appreciate more than the bigger things like the bigger things are still important but I think we forget about the the little things that actually mean just as much. Yeah. I feel like half of experience you enjoy it, it's just like kind of looking out for it, I suppose.

Yeah. You know, yeah, that meal tonight could be joyous. Yeah. Not just a meal. So true. Are there any kind of pockets of joy you're wanting to, or just actually not even, what's not a pocket? Like a full back?

Yeah, I don't know. A sack of joy. Do you know why I think I say pockets? Because it's, it's between bits and stuff. Yeah, and it's just fine in every moment you can rather than those big moments. Reyes, anything you're keen to try, you haven't tried yet that you're keen to,

I wanna give that a kick. I reckon that might cause joy. I have tasked myself with this year hitting something up or learning something new. Okay, and- How's that going so far? So I have a keyboard. Okay.

And, you know. So you have a keyboard? I have a keyboard, but it's just sat there. Okay. Well, I mean the first thing is you've got one. Yes. Okay. Yes.

So that's really good news. Yes. Second, it's there. It's in a room somewhere. Is it in a cupboard? No, it's in a room. So I can see it. Okay, it's a visual. You're not even, you're not hiding it away. So that's really good.

Yeah. And piano is a really good instrument. It's all just, it's all in front of you. There's nothing is hidden. Yes. You know, it's like it's there. It's like very, it's very learnable. Yes, it is. And I think really, do you like to sing? No. No, sorry, yes. I like, like to sing whether I can sing is a different question okay who told you couldn't do you know what nobody I think I think I think I think I hear the little screeches I make but I enjoy

singing along to things yeah what did your husband think of your voice he enjoyed when I would sing along to things like he wouldn't tell me to yeah to stop singing well that's that's positive yeah but I never actually stood in front of like people and sang But I think I can, you know, when you just feel like you can hear yourself and I, yeah. Yeah, but we're not good judges sometimes about our own voices. Everyone hates their talky voice for instance. You know what I mean? Yes.

So we, I feel that sometimes that's similar for singing. Yes. So we're not particularly fantastic judges of our own voices. That's so true. How are we going to do it? Do you want to sing now and I can just judge? Let me. I let you know.

No. No, no, no. So I want your ratings to go down on the point. podcast if I start singing. What if I started singing would you join in with me? No. You're sure? No, I wouldn't. Even if it's your favourite song? Yeah, no, no. Sure? Yeah. Do we try? No. It would make it more memorable. Oh my gosh, no, no, I don't think. Maybe I try again at the end of our chat to sing together. Maybe I'll feel like ready to yeah. Maybe this

is just the this is the start of your keyboard journey. Yeah, I would love that keyboard and being able. Okay. And sing a lot like, yeah. Well, look, you know, just think of that song, all right? We can do a real basic one. I've got those basic song. Stand by me or something. Do you know what, it might be good.

But even if what else can happen, we're just, it's just two people singing. Do you know, having a good time? Exactly. Again, you know, pocket of joy. Yeah, pocket of joy. And then you can say forever more, you know, I once, you know, sang Stand by Remember the Stranger, the top of a hill. Yeah, that's so true.

You're talking yourself around. This is great positivity. This is because normally I talk myself out of things too. I'm trying to think of like how I would feel if I didn't. And you feel great. It would feel good. Yeah. Fantastic.

What was the last thing you talked to self out of? A holiday. So you looked at the holiday, you thought no. Yeah, I wanted to do like a solo travel. something we me and my husband loved going away, city break and I'm going to go to

Barcelona talk to myself out of it Yeah How do you talk yourself out of things Oh no but what if I go away and This happens or what if I get there and I don't like it And it's all the what ifs And then it's like, do you know what?

If I don't book it Then there's no what ifs and then I'm good I think it's just taking that leap I, because it stops me from doing things that I potentially want to do because I'm worried about those things that I don't have control over. And then it's that feeling of the way you're like, oh, kind of gutted because actually I think I would have enjoyed it or, yeah. So you basically took yourself to the water's edge. Yes, exactly. And you got, and you had your swimming costume on.

And then... But you did not go in that water. I didn't go in the water. I threw the towel back on. I was like, nope, went back, yeah. But the good news is. Yep. Barzano is still there.

It is. And it can still happen. And that's what I said to myself. I was like, okay, it didn't happen this time. But I think it's thinking then what do I need to do differently next time to not talk myself out of it. Yeah. And I think it's... strange because with grief as well, it makes you realise, for example, when I think about my husband,

all these things he can't do, he could never do. And I'm like, I have the opportunity to do these things. But yeah, I think sometimes I feel like I'm letting moments and life pass me by. You know, you can't get that time back. Because I think it's so easy to talk yourself out of something isn't it? It's easier than yeah doing it. So true. Yeah. Well maybe this is something else you need to get done. Yeah. Maybe if you sing standby me at the end, that will like propel you on. I'm like if I can do that. Then I can do anything. I can book the ticket to Barcelona today. Yeah, that's so true. Can I ask you about grief? Yeah. What have you found surprising about the process so far?

What I found surprise about grief is it's not linear. There's no rule book. There's no this happens then. And just you have days where you feel fine. And, you know, years go by and you're like, yeah, I'm good. And then you have moments where it actually hits you again. Yeah, I've realised grief is a journey. And it's a journey that you have to take at your own pace.

but it's taught me to appreciate and acknowledge the things that I did get. It's a sadness, but actually that sadness can coexist with the memories you have that are joyous and that make you happy. But it's been hard. You know, I would never sit here and say that it's been fine. It's been very, very difficult. but I have leaned on people around me, friends, family, counselling, just anything to kind of support and understanding and being able to process and look at it differently.

What memory do you lean on to kind of pick you up that lifts you related to your husband? What do you tend to go back to you? So I tend to go back to like things that make me, smile or laugh like he spent all day trying to make Aaron is Arancini balls? Yes. You know following this recipe within the kitchen all day was like don't disturb me I want to make these made them and as he was I think he turned hit the counter and everything just fell on the floor like it was all over the floor this I just remember laughing like laughing so hard and I remember him being so angry because he's like, I spent all day on these and

and then him paul's in for a moment and then he started laughing and we're just both there laughing. There's like sauce and you know when I don't know what it is when you drop sauce sauce just seems to just go in place. Yeah it just goes in places but you're like why is it there but I always go back to that moment because it was just a moment of like just pure laughter and we were just both crying. Yeah, it's memories like that where even now just talking about it, I can just see us in that kitchen,

laughing together and just wait. Did you get to try them? No, we didn't. No, none survived. None survived. But I think, yeah, it's just moments like that. They're the moments that I kind of lean on in times of like, yeah, sadness.

They were good times. When you see an hour in Cheney pool on a menu somewhere, Do you just go past it? Do you order it? Oh, I've ordered it. And it's always that story will forever sit with me. Yeah, even I've not attempted it. Maybe it's something I need to attempt.

Yes. Maybe on an anniversary or something. Yeah, and just be like, there you go, I did it. And then mate them and just chuck them over there. And then chuck them on the floor. Literally save one and then chuck the rest of the floor. But yeah, I think when you lose somebody as well, it also brings you joy when you can still visualize and see those moments.

because I think that was a fear of mine was forgetting. As time passed, do we forget? And I think my fear was, I don't want to forget anything. I want to, you know, just put it in this box and tie it up. So I think when I go through days like that and I remember moments, and I'm like, okay, I've still got them. Like, they're still up here. And, like, sometimes I think of them and it feels like it only happened yesterday,

even though it happened 10, 12 years ago. And I think in that moment, you don't realize as well that later on in life how valuable and important that moment is going to be to you. Today, that means so much to me. Beautiful. Can I ask you about how he died? Was it sudden? Yeah, no, so he was sick and he had some, like, things that he battled. So his illness was going to eventually potentially kill him.

but I think when he died it wasn't expected. So he'd like gone to sleep and they said he because I wasn't there but they believed he died in his sleep. And I think for me as sad as it was, I don't know if there was a peace about him dying in his sleep with that peace of knowing someone's not in pain. Yeah. But I think you're never really.

when it happened, it just felt like someone just ripped my heart out. And I remember just collapsing. Like, it's just everything stops. It feels like your whole life. Someone's just come in and smashed it to pieces. And then you're having to put those pieces back together. But they look a little differently. You know, a bit like a puzzle.

he's missing, but it can still create a picture even with that one bit missing. And it's just trying to glue and bind everything back together in a different way. You say you weren't there, so that means you, what, where was he, where was he? So I was at my granddad's house and then, yeah, I got the call and I just, who called you? His mum. Okay. And I don't even know if I hung the phone up.

I don't remember saying bye to her whatever. I just remember my granddad was downstairs and he was in his 90s. And I just remember running downstairs and I just couldn't breathe. And my granddad's like, like, I think he was saying what's going on or whatever. And I just collapsed in his arms.

And my granddad, like, he's from the Caribbean. He's like old school kind of get on with things. And I just remember he didn't say anything. think he just held me and that's a moment that sticks with me and will stick with me forever is just in that moment of something so sad and so dark just somebody and my grandmother being that person that just held me and he just holding me up yeah and I think that was something that you know, ate me up was not being there when my husband did pass away. You know, he was not with anybody.

What was his last thoughts? What's his last thoughts of feeling alone, thinking nobody's here when I'm going through this final, this final moment in my life. And I think that ate away at me for a very long time of when you love somebody, you want to be there for them through every moment. you know, especially when they need you the most you want to be there.

And I beat myself up of thinking, you know, that was a time when he needed me the most and I wasn't there. But, and I guess, yeah, whether you're there or you're not there, the outcome is still the same. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you say he wasn't, he wasn't well prior. Did he at all kind of prepare you for life after him? But did he ever kind of discuss that? Yeah, like he'd have, you know, conversations of like, oh, when I'm not here.

And like, even with his siblings, be like, oh, when I'm not here, make sure you look after her. But they weren't, like, comfortable conversations to have because you don't want to be preparing for life without someone. And it's like, if you don't talk about it, it might not. Like, we might be talking about something that never does happen kind of thing. I personally avoided those kind of conversations because I never wanted to think about life without someone you love so much, them not be in here. And I think we probably all do that in things in life, that we just stay in that bubble to keep ourselves safe.

Yeah. That makes a perfect, perfect sense. Maybe a difficult question, but is there anything that you would have, when you're looking back at it, I wish I'd say. told him this or this or this? I, do you know what? I think, you know, he knew that, you know, I loved him and we did tell each other those kind of things.

But I think if I could look back now, I probably would just say to him, it's okay. In terms of, you know, this happening, letting him know it's okay or I'll be okay. Yeah, or just thank you. And I think that's it is a thank you. We did, I love you, all of that, but never thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience love. Love on that level and thank you for showing me that I can just be me and that is enough.

I learnt so much about myself and my life. Thank you for, you know, the journey we did have and how we just grew on that journey together. Because we forget to thank people in our lives. And like, even just as I sit here, I'm just like, there are so many people in my life that I just, I don't think I've ever said thank you. Because I don't know, we're like, you say thank you to someone.

They'll be like, what are you saying thank you for? No, exactly. Do you know, like, yeah, like thank you for being my friend. What do you mean thank you for being my friend? Or, you know, because thank you, even just thank you for being you. Maybe you can have a thank you day. Yes. Choose your thank you day and just go around.

I would have to be like a national thank you day anyway. I have to look up in the calendar. Yeah. Just get in a run, just to do it on a day. Yeah. Just do that for a day. Oh, gosh, yeah. Thank you.

That'd be an emotional day. Do the keyboard, sing along on a song, foot Barcelona. I've got a lift. Looking ahead to your future life, you know, you look like you have a lot of your life still to go. I hope so. Right? Do you ever see a time in your life with a space for someone else in your life? And how do you feel about those things?

I have had moments of thinking, is this, is this it? Is this my life? You know, is it just going to be mean? And then I have moments of would I kind of like to, you know, experience what I experience with my husband again? And it's very conflicting, I think, because you have moments of feeling very lonely. but then I have moments of no because I don't want to do something that means I've forgotten my husband and that's when I'm like no no no I can't do that I can't do that to his memory kind of thing

and then I think the other thing to me is and very drastic but it could happen again And that's the other thing where I get that fear of loving, you know, somebody again with the potential of losing them, which it's going to happen. Yeah. You know, that's a scary thought. Yeah, and I think it's hard because I'm in my 30s, so I still have, yeah, this whole life, you know, hopefully ahead of me. So, yeah, I'm not saying never, but I think, yeah, it's very difficult when you lose

somebody and life still continues around you. Friends in relationship, people, you know, we didn't get to have a family, people have kids and all of that stuff. It doesn't stop and that can also make it quite difficult, especially when it's things you wanted to do with that person and it's now trying to understand that it will be with somebody else. And I think that's a process. My future, I just, I'll see.

That's all I can do. Take each day, moment, week, month, year as it comes. But I think I've just got to learn that I can still enjoy certain things for myself. Yeah. Well, I've got to ask you three more questions. Yep. Then we're going to sing. Oh, you didn't forget.

I thought you forgot. I'm not going to forget. Okay. Let's go. I've got to go for what is the most amusing scene you have seen recently out on your out on your travels, with your own eyes? You've seen anything that's kind of made you chuckle? So I think yesterday, where I live,

they were doing some works, and the guy was instructed to paint just a little bit on the side of the ramp to come out of the car part. Just this little patch on the side, misunderstood, and you painted the whole... He painted the whole ramp. And then so it was where we were trapped in the car park and couldn't come out and then the cars couldn't come in.

I just found that moment really funny of just someone being given an instruction and going wild with it and the consequences of it. And I know it was like there were people like they couldn't get into the car park and like there were people right. Rightly so were a bit frustrated. But I think I just found it really hilarious. That was like, oh my God, he was just for a place to paint. that one patch there. And he's painted this whole, this whole driveway. And he just didn't even have any thought of it's wet.

No one could drive on it. And I just found that really, I found that really funny. I don't know why, but it just made me laugh. Oh, I found it so funny. But I felt so sorry for the guy because he looked genuinely scared. Like he was about to get in big, I think. What point do you know, do you know, realize he made a lot? error? I think it was when the cars were trying to get out and then he realised he was like,

oh wait, because if I paint it this, the cars can't drive it and you could genuinely see his moment of like, I've messed up the paint there, I can't scrape it up, but it was, oh it was, yes. I love the idea of being given a kind of, I feel like there's, there should be some kind of word for this, but you know, you're given a little task and you just kind of make it Massive. Make it massive. Make it worse. I mean, that situation probably wasn't joyous for him,

but it brought me joy and it made me laugh and chuckle. Yeah. Okay, so what we're going to do, I'll ask you the last question. Yeah. And then I get up the lyric to this, so I'll start singing it. No pressure. No pressure. You ready for the last question?

Go for it. What are you going to do next? Now I am going to go home and have a cup of tea and probably think about what I'm going to have for dinner. What are you going to have a dinner? I don't know. Think about that if you want. Yeah, I actually feel like something with chickpeas. Or I feel like something with prawns, but I'm not sure what.

But I will think about it over my cup of tea. That's my thinking time. Yeah. I mean then I'll probably be able to figure out or it end up being a takeaway. Beautiful. Beautiful. It'll be so relaxed. You've learnt your treat after having endured a whole conversation with a stranger on a bench. Exactly, especially if I've got to sing. You need a prize, exactly. Yeah, especially if you've got a seat. Yeah. Oh, this stress is singing, I'm like, nope, just get a takeaway, get a pizza.

That's going to be fine. I'm so serious about the singing that I'm going to get these boys and play some music. I'm going to get them to slightly move. I don't want to be distracted. Have a look at the Lewis, why I do that? No. I'll get it. I told those lads.

I imagine they were like very scary, you know, very scary youngsters. They were like, they were terrifying, you know? I just said, listen there's, just doing something here. Do you mind just shooting off down the way? Moving out of the way? You know? Oh my gosh. Are you ready?

You prepared? I'm not prepared, but less... I'll start? Yes. You just join in whenever you feel comfortable. Okay. You got the lyrics up to? I've got the lyrics up too.

You know how this goes? Yes, I do. I know the song, but I was like, I know the song, but I was like, this isn't my moment to sing the wrong lyrics. Here's the moment. Okay. You ready? Go for it.

Okay. I just love the dramatic pause. When the night has come, do do do do, do. And the land is dark, and the moon is the only light will see. Doom do do do no I won't be afraid No I won't be afraid just as long as you stand stand by me So darling darling stand by me Oh stand by me

Oh stand Stand by me You did it. You did it? I did it and that was so fun. There you go. Oh my gosh, that was so fun. And the words as well. I was just like, yeah, don't be afraid.

I can sing this. It's in the lyrics. It's in the lyrics. And you know what, if people went past, I would have been like, I probably would have got loud and been like, come on, join in. Oh, that was so fun. Who knew?

Who knew? You see, sometimes you've just got to take on that opportunity and you don't know what joy you get from it. That was so joyous. There you go, that's my joy for the day is I sung standby me in the park on the bench with a stranger. That was a big joy for me too. That's the first time I've done that.

Oh, I love that. Sing standby with a stranger. I love now. I'm going to go home and learn it on the keyboard. And you can because it's actually one of the stuff. I was going to say that's sort and easy. It's one of the doable ones. Because it's do-d-d-dun-dun.

Yeah, I'm going to do that. Brilliant. Well, thank you so much. Thank you too. Thank you so much. It's been lovely. I feel like I have done something that I would never have done. I feel like I would have gone, oh no, no, no, sorry, don't have time and walked off. And actually, that was, yeah, such a pleasure. So thank you. I really appreciate that.

The kind of music I've been in The sky's so great A sky's so blue Seamy Water It wasn't made Wasn't made Same cheer