Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 93: Branches Don't Grow Straight

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Tom Rosenthal approaches a stranger on a park bench and asks if he can sit down next to them and record their conversation.This is what happened! Produced by Tom RosenthalEdited by Rose De LarrabeitiMixed by Mike WoolleyTheme tune by Tom Rosenthal & Lucy Railton Incidental music by Maddie AshmanEnd song : 'Rings of a Tree' by Tagore ChayneStream it here : https://ffm.to/ringsofatreeListen to all the end songs featured on the podcast (so far) on one handy playlist :https://ffm.to/soabendsongs————————————————————————————Instagram : @strangersonabench Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. So it's a bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? Yeah, I'm looking for a tree to paint. What did you say? Treat to paint? Yes. Because you're a painter. I retired. And I found... art. You found art? And I'm not fantastic. Maybe you are fantastic though. Who's to know? Well, somewhere on the wall. What's the nicest thing someone said about paintings with us?

My daughter-in-law said they're very nice. The worrying thing is when I painted flowers, my wife has said that that's a, which is totally not the flower it was. Oh, I see. And I'm a bit fluid, so it's not botanical. Yeah. Just let it just let it. roll? Because water colour is quite hard. It's hard. The water goes everywhere. And getting the... Hard to control it. Hard to control. But then you have to let it go, I suppose. I think that's the thing. We started to watch Bob Ross. Oh yes. And he's fantastic. Tell me who Bob Ross is. He's passed away now. He's an American oil paint artist. He's on television, the joy of painting. And it's so relaxing. He's got such a gorgeous voice. And his

This whole theme is that you can do it. You're an artist. You are an artist. Yeah, and to a degree is right, as long as you're happy. And if you enjoy something, things that you go and look at and you think that's rubbish. So at least... They enjoyed it though. Some shows we go to.

My wife said, well, yours are better than hers. There you go! She was charging up as of 80 to 200 pounds, so I thought that can't be bad, can't it? Would you charge for a painting of yours? No. I don't think I could sell it because I've given a few away and I don't like doing it. Oh, giving them away? Yeah.

Oh, I see you like holding onto them. Yes. That's the problem. Not that you couldn't sell them because people wouldn't buy them because you just don't want to give them away. Because sometimes you look back and think, gosh, that's good. When you started your painting journey,

do you remember what kicked you off? And do you remember the first one? It was Bob Ross. It was Bob Ross. And I invested in a load of oil paints. But first of all, my wife doesn't like the smell. And secondly, they are quite messy. And he's got a massive studio,

and when he's cleaning his brushes, he flaps them around. And she says, you're not doing that in the kitchen. So I gave that up and thought, I'll try a watercolour. And I fell in love with it. Sometimes you just put a bit of water on. Some colours are better than others, but you can just touch it, and it explodes. And it does where it likes,

and it can form like a petal. You get the light and the dark and you haven't done anything. Wow, I love that. I really like that as a small touch, but a big explosion. Maybe that's what we're all like. You know, light touches can make big explosions. So yours is obviously talking on a bench. But you know what?

You know what? Funny enough, I also am a keen watercolour person myself. Oh, right. But here's the thing. I'm really, really bad. I've got no talent whatsoever. And I never have, but I've always, it's one of my kind of things I do to relax. Yes, it is.

And so I totally understand everything you're saying about all colours. And I like giving them away because mine are not good enough to keep for myself to look at. And I always do small ones, just say it doesn't impose too much. Don't it feel they've got to keep something massive. I started off, not massive, but I'm getting smaller. Oh. Yeah. And I quite enjoy that.

How small can you go? Well, I don't know. I've seen people doing sort of postage stamp size. And I think, no, that's a bit too. The problem with that, watercoloured, there's one false move and then it's over. Yeah. I think you can start again. Was it Bob Ross says we don't make mistakes?

We have happy little accidents. What are the feelings you get? Can you try and describe the feeling mid-brush stroke? You're concentrating totally on what you're doing, 100%. And I think that just takes me away. Or you're aiming to do a line and it goes wrong. But you think, oh, that'll do. I'll just put that in.

I'll make the tree in a wind-swept area. So I'll do all the branches falling out. And it's just that go over the floor. Just I find out so relaxing. Beautiful. What was occupying this space before this all happened? So work? I mean, I was paid to go away.

I got redundancy. You said you got paid to go away? I'm not heard of that job. Was that by your wife? I always think it's polite. You know, if somebody pays you to go away, go away. Don't refuse it. But the job was going within a couple of years and it did do.

I just got paid to go away quicker. So I thought, yeah, why not? And then the pandemic hits. We thought, well, we can manage. We're not going on cruises. And then I can be where I want to be. I can talk to you and not think, oh gosh, I've got to be somewhere. That's the magic, isn't it?

Do you look back and maybe this is a bit of an unfair question because you can't do anything about it now, but now that you have this freedom, are you sad that you didn't start doing watercolours 20 years ago or 30 years ago, 40 years ago, whatever? No, not really, because I think that everything has its time and we had my son and we were raising him and we put a lot of effort into that, and that's glorious.

Whatever will be, will be. What's going to happen today will happen today, so just let it flow. As it's happening right now. Yeah, that's so lovely. We're going to get onto your stuff. The way this works, there's a kind of start question and an end question that everybody gets, and then everything in the middle just happens as it happens. But I should ask you this first question, and you've planted lots of seeds anyway, we'll get to.

But the first question is, do you have a favourite day of the week? Now? Yeah? No, because... Because your pure freedom? Sometimes I don't know what day in the week it is. We have a calendar in the kitchen and sometimes I thought it was Sunday and it wasn't and you're planning to think, oh we're doing that tomorrow, but hold on it's only Thursday. So no, I don't now.

And I never understood why when you retired he used to get a watch or a clock. I didn't understand the symbol of it. understand the symbolism of it. Is that a thing? Not now. It was a thing? It was a thing. It was a thing.

It was like a big clock. It used to be. And then it went down to the watches. But it was purely because you're now the master of your own town. Or you can see it in a kind of sinister light and the time's kind of running out. You've only got a limited amount of this and you've got to look at it the whole time now. Watch the clock tick by, but yes. So I'm just going to ask, you know, when you left, did you get anything?

Were you giving anything? No, because I couldn't even. speak to my boss or anything because the pandemic came on and as soon as the restrictions hit was when I was going so generally you would have had a handover and had a bit of a ceremony couldn't do any of that at all so it felt a little bit of I didn't have a sort of demarcation point per se how long were you working at the place you're working for 36 years okay well that's that's deserving that's like my whole lifetime basically uh well What would you, let's imagine the ceremony is now and you can say a few words, what would you have like to have said to your fellow colleagues?

I would just say, I'm glad I'm going. When I first started it was fantastic, but year after year it's got progressively not a nice environment and I'm glad I'm going. I wish you all well and... It's good, I quite how you said it's getting worse and worse, but good luck. I hope you can survive it. Do you remember that moment of the last day of you're doing this job? Yeah, I said, I couldn't believe it. And I got a phone call from the big boss.

And I thought, oh, drat. Sorry, we can't let you go. And he did phone up and just say thank you very much, which was nice. But my heart was going. I thought, oh, my goodness me. It's just a joke. April film, don't you? Were there any kind of emotional moments on the last day?

Any swellings of the heart? No, because I couldn't really talk to anybody. Yeah. And it was just locked the door when you go. So I was all by myself and it was a really weird... It wasn't completely... You go out the building, you thought, no more. Yeah.

And it was... It's sad that that would have been alone. I mean, it's such a funny end. I suppose you walked in there alone. Well, yeah. It was sort of, but not quite as strange. When my son was born, it was half-past nine on an evening. And I didn't know what was going to happen.

She'd been in hospital for a few weeks. But when he was born and everything, and the midwife says, right off you go, I think, what do I do now? It was that bereft feeling. So you were sent out of the hospital? Yeah. Oh, wow. Why, though?

Well, because she was being taken up to the ward. It was gone half 10, 11 o'clock and by then, you know, they're going to settle her in and I was surplus to require. So this is a similar feeling to leaving the job. I was surplus to requirements then. I no longer have a job, which is strange in one way, but nice and the other. It takes a little bit of getting used to. I volunteer at a coffee shop at church. So I've got a few days where there's a structure.

Can I ask what your job was? It was British Telecom but it was in the on the inside and that was being taken over by technology so it's completely gone now. Were you often going from place to place somewhere? I was going from exchange to exchange but then I had a condition which meant I couldn't drive. So I said I'd go my bike to local exchanges but that was getting more tiring. The last of that age I suppose really. Yeah yeah I think so yeah you generally used to work in a group or I don't

and you had a camaraderie and that sort of went to a degree, you know. Shared work is the joy of it, isn't I suppose? Were there any of the we consider like emergencies? Anyone that we've got to go now because this is X X X and X? Not in that respect, no, but sometimes you went on a night and in the exchanges there's always some little noises coming on, some little clatters and then it's quiet. But in the middle of the night it's a different entice.

and you're doing something. All of a sudden this clatter comes up and it makes your heart go because what was that? Can you tell me what an exchange? I've been sitting here, but what is an exchange? A telephone exchange is it was where

your telephone line was originating from. I see. You would have your connection point here and you live over there so you'd run a wire to take it to your position. Then if you moved, somebody didn't have to go and move a wire

over there. It was all... So you've moved a lot of wires in your time. Moved a lot of wires. It's all done now electronically. You facilitated a lot of phone calls. Yes, yeah. I mean, but...

It's a funny thought. One of the strangest and frighteningest things is that when I first started, we had to take down some of the old telegraph poles. And they were huge. Because the wires in those days went over the tops of the buildings. So in York,

when you're wandering around. You see some of the tall three-story buildings or four-story buildings and there were poles you couldn't put your arms around the bottom of and there were huge

right away at the top and really it is a long way up there is a long way up there don't look down that sort of scenario concentrate on what you were doing talk to me about your son

so we were in we were in the ward when we last left I was the first one to see him So you were sent away somewhere and where did you go when you were sent away whilst? I just went home and sat down and... Do you remember what you did at home? Nothing.

When you've sat such a high, yeah, it was just waiting. He was just sat there. It's like that Forrest Gump moment, you know, where he sat on the bench. And to be fair, I've done a lot of that. I didn't realise that that was going to be a big part of our lives, waiting. Satle mentions Oh, okay Why has there been so much waiting? He's doing this, so I'll wait here

Oh, I see, I see, of course We're taking in there to do this I'll sit down and wait for it I have two daughters There you go And yeah, of course you do a lot of waiting You don't think about it And even now when we went to

to do his apartment Oh, can you just wait a minute? I thought well, why not? I'm bored to do it I'm ready, I've got that spot There's one thing I'm good at is that. How does one wait well, do you think? What are the great poor principles of waiting well?

Finding something and occupying, and I like looking at things. Unfortunately, they thought we were going to be grandparents, but that didn't turn out. It was an ectopic pregnancy. So we ended up in the hospital, and I was waiting once again in hospital. He was upstairs with his wife, my daughter-in-law. And I was at Lees and I went and just went out for a walk and it was a cemetery. And I adored looking at all the jobs I've gone.

Saddle makers, tool makers, etc. And this massive monument to this tax collector, I thought really? People liked him? Or did they like it? Was it just something they had to do? And strangely enough, I found this little gravestone and I thought, what's the thing? that and it was a pallet and it just said his name which I can't quite recall and then from friends 1768 I thought well that must have cost a lot of money and I've tried and

tried and I can't find anything so I don't think he was prolific artist he wasn't a prominent artist but he had friends who liked him enough that's that would have been a significant investment, a gravestone and a plot. That's so, that's so lovely. So I think, gosh, yeah. So yeah, there was some goodness out of waiting in the hospital. It's wonderful to think that that gesture made, you know, through and 50 or years ago.

Had an effect. Has an effect and still, you look at it now and you go, oh, look how wonderful this person's friends. They were true friends. They were together. The other ones were just, well, yeah, I'm a counsellor, better put something on there. I'll give my £20 and there you go. It's a funny thought. I'm guessing the tax collector that you mentioned before, you know,

they just paid more so I have a bigger, bigger tune. Well, yeah, it was, yeah, a monolith. Which is quite funny, really. It is. It's like the equivalent, I hope you don't have one. If you do, I apologize. They're having a kind of four by four car, you know, a massive car. Yeah, it's like, well, great, you've got a massive car, but it's exactly the same as another car. Exactly. So that goes from here to there. It's the same as a gravestone, you know, you're still dead, but someone's paid more to have a slightly taller one. I know. It's absolutely mad, does, isn't it?

So being a father for you, it's been a lot of waiting. It's been the best time. But it's been great. You know, it's very lovely to hear you, I mean, it's very lovely to hear someone. I want to talk to a bit more about that. I think I asked you about, you know, if you regretted not painting earlier, and said while I was working, obviously, and also very dedicated to being a father. Is there a reason why you were more dedicated? I mean, you made a point of being dedicated?

I mean, was there any particular, I think, behind that? I went to 15 schools and I have no education per se. I don't have written qualifications. We moved from south to north and the curriculum was completely different. You might as well have asked me anything. I wouldn't have read a different language, more or less. So I vowed if we did have a child that we would be static, so we could have an education, and that we'd invest in it.

So every weekend we went somewhere. My wife had to work, so she took him on the weekdays. I took him on the weekends. We always did something, and we had a fantastic time. You know, got interested in things. was quite shy and I've always been interested in history and we went to English heritage sites and there was groups there doing re-enactments and we joined one. Such a good father and son time. I think everybody should really do lots of things and

read to your chair. We read all the time and there's such some of the joyous moments he's just sat in bed reading. It is yeah. It's the best thing that that's happened. Yeah. So he's a teacher now. Fantastic. So you were moved around a lot as a kid. Yes. I'm guessing against your will. You didn't want to...

Sometimes, I just got a two weeks notice. Oh, we're moving. I used to hate that. Oh, you'll soon make friends. And you do to a degree. But did you want to? And I sort of had friends. Yeah. You know, I remember the last time, I only had two weeks notice,

notice and I couldn't bring it myself to say to anybody because I thought not I can't I just I can't do this anymore you know they just kept moving because they changed jobs all the time it's just nomadic you know did you ever kind of um talk to your parents about this no we had a sort of disconnect really yeah I mean and we still do I haven't spoken to them six months your parents still like yeah wow yeah That's a good go. It is, to be fair. May I ask how old they are?

My mum is 90 next year. But they've never been that bothered. And if we go, we go, if we don't. So at the moment we've had a lot on, so we don't. And I know it sounds a bit harsh, but, you know. It's okay. It is what happens. Not every family is.

No, that's it. Every, you know. Close. So you made at some point A conscious decision. Along this journey of being moved around everywhere You thought I'm not going to do this to my child No

Is there anything else in particular you've done especially that you didn't have? Time I think When you're going on about the cars and the big that's money basically And not everybody has a lot of money But you don't need a lot of money I'm sure your daughters would rather have you than I don't know all they are now but maybe it's a wood-proven

for a nice holiday. Yeah, they're tan and drum. If I said you could spend a day with me or I could give you, you know, 20 pounds to go to the shop. I think they would probably pick the 20 pounds. In the shoe and knowledge, you can see you afterwards. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. We do spend a lot of time together. So going back to your being moved around a lot. I'm guessing at a certain age, you were free of your parents. They're 15. 15. They moved.

And once again, do you want to come while? You don't have to. You finally said, well, okay. Yeah. So that was the time you were finally allowed to say no. Yeah, I just say I'll stay where I am. So where was that? It was here.

Okay. And so they left you to do what? Are you with anyone at? I mean, at 15, that's pretty good. For a time, I was my girlfriend, who is now my wife. At the time? Yeah, so we've been married now for 45 years coming up this year. So her parents put me up for a little while, so I got sorted.

But once again, we've got the job, you're the last person to know. We've told the gas the electrics, we'll tell you no. And what was that moment like for you that then, you know, I think it was sort of finals, yeah, off you go. Do you like? Yeah. And then it's their new life started if you're a new life started, 50 15?

Yes, I've managed to find somebody who saw something in me and put up with me for 45. Okay, let's talk about her. I'm just going to put some cycle in my neck, I feel like it's going. Yeah, I mean, I suppose she should be up for beatification, but that might be a being. If anyone deserves it. Yeah. Wow, so 50, you know, I was, you know what's funny about this, is it? Literally, my oldest daughter goes to school.

Yeah. she's 12. She was telling me the other day about a couple of 12 year old's in her in her year, you know, a girlfriend and boyfriend age 12. They'd split up today and that was quite a dramatic thing for her class or you know year or whatever and I was saying look mate it's no big deal. I mean of all the different partnerships I've known which is so many now I can only think of one where they got together as teenagers who are now still together. Well, I'm pleased I've altered that for you.

And now I've got two. And so it's funny that I... That's 100%. It's funny that I say this only a couple of days ago that the world would provide me with someone who's met their wife at age 15. We met around about 15 because I'd started to go out then.

When you say out, you mean to pubs, to places? Well, yeah, it was a different environment. Sure. When we went to the first night club, but you had to have a three-piece suit. Otherwise you won't be allowed in. Did you have one at 15? No, but I went and bought one.

Yeah. But you know, you just had, that was, you weren't getting in. Unless you had the suit. Yeah, wow. There's a lot of smart people in that club. Well, it's decently dressed, yeah. I thought that's quite nice really.

Maybe we should bring that back. Maybe, that's not a bad idea. Put a bit of effort into it, guys, you know. You expect the lady to put a bit of effort. That's a really good point. Do the same thing. I don't mind that. No.

As long as, as long as the suits were fairly accessible. Yeah, he didn't have to, But ideally, yeah. Saville Road. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I thought it was quite cute. Yeah, I agree. So you got the suit and you got the suit out and about there and I think...

Were you wearing it every day the suit? No, just on. Just for them. I was just going out. Yeah, yeah. I used to work on a farm. I used to work with animals, so there was an aroma which you didn't want to pass on to your best. I don't know.

You see, I'm going back to the towns when we had a bath once a week. That was norm. There wasn't showers. It's just weird that in my lifetime. And only one to eat, would you really milk that bath when you had it? Well, sometimes if your relations were over, it was who goes in first. And sometimes you're the third one in that. You didn't get much time to play with the action man with his diving suit in the bath because it got cold. It's a weird world.

We know you expect everyone to have a shower. That was a very different time. So you're 15, you're working on a farm at the time. You're wondering about the place, this out and about, and you meet your wife how? Well, he went to Katz Whiskers, which is a nightclub, which is now Mecca, and the bingo place. Not. Yeah, actually Mecca. And went there a couple of times.

Cats whiskers. Cats whiskers. Big dance floor, small dance floor. Yeah, it was nice. And you met, can you remember the exact moment you met? Yes. Come back, my love, don't go away, buy darts, dancing. So is that the name of the song?

Yeah. Okay, cut it out. I remember it well. And dance to that, we met up, we arranged to meet the following Saturday. And I keep teasing her about this, but I went and she had dancing with somebody else. So I just walked away and she came running after me and that was it.

Oh, that's very sweet. So she saw you. Well, she was with some friends. Yeah, okay, okay. Somebody said you fancy a dance, so she'd gone up with friends and dance. Okay, that's good. So you started walking away when you saw this. Well, yeah, I just thought, well, that's...

But so lucky that she saw you walking away. Well, yeah, so that's fair, is it? You know, say if someone, you know, some random person walked across, you know, with a large trolley. and blocks the sight of your wife to you walking away. That's life, different life. Yeah. Yeah. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah, just that tiny little split second.

That's cool. And from there on, it's been lovely. That was a good choice of words there. It would be lovely. It's probably been in lots of other things as well. And, you know, how... Hasn't everybody here? Yeah.

When did you get engaged? We got to engage the same time as Prince Charles. Is that, was it inspired by Prince Charles? Well, was it like, did he read the news? You're like, hang on, he's got an idea there. No, I don't know which one it was, really. Maybe he was inspired. It's a good point.

Plus, we got married just around about the same time. Only, you couldn't buy peppermints in a little tin without a picture on it. I don't know why not, really. you should have been allowed to have this souvenir. You should have had your own plates? Yeah, all cups, you know. So how old were you when you got married?

I was, oh, that's a tricky one. It was a day after my 21st birthday. Wow. Big birthday moment. Yeah. Thinking about the speech I was going to have to give, yes. Of course. Would you remember much of your speech?

No, it's rubbish. Well, in essence, in those days, to groom just thanked everybody. that was that really it wasn't I mean my son got married he gave his speech and it was a lovely oration which you would expect from him yeah did you speak at your son's wedding I did how was that for you it was fine he gave me free rein although the lady officiating said I've heard that poem a lot of time but never quite like that

Oh, right. So I'm taking that as a compliment. Did he do an interpretive dance or something? Why did she say that? No, but I put excerpts into the poem relating to our relationship. And I even put a few extra. So you jazzed it up. So I jazzed it up a little bit.

You're allowed to do what you want, you know? You know, it's a one time. It's your own child. It was quite funny. So is there anything particularly from your wedding day that you remember, even though it's a small memory? something like a little passing moment. It wasn't a kind of not one of the big moments. Anything that it stands out from your wedding day?

In truth? Yeah. Turning around and seeing a coming towards me in the church. That's quite special, as you can hear. So it's still bringing back a lovely memory. Can't beat that. It sounds like. It sounds idyllic. How does one have such a, I mean, how does one have such a successful relationship do you think what's what's been the key how's it well I think you can lose it a little bit it's talking so I hope you go back and say to your good lady I met this really interesting guy first person you would tell would be

so if anything happens first person you would tell would be yeah that's a that's a lovely yeah just keep that going because hopefully we're all moving forward to something. So if you're taking somebody with you, you've got to take them with you. That's such a nice way of thinking about it as well. First person you would tell. I really like that. And it's very simple but profound and where do you let's, I also, is as important we don't, I mean, unless of course it is complete utter joy wall to wall, it's important to for the to take the opposite sometimes. What, where do you clash heads? What are the difficulties? There hasn't been a great deal, to be fair, I think we're quite compatible.

I'm really easygoing. I sort of, my granddad, my father's dad, he was quite a character. But my nan was in charge. They were from mining community, coltery from County Durham. You know, you didn't mess with him. Yeah. But my nan rode the roost. So if he came home, there's the money, he got his pocket money, that's it.

We sort of lived our thing like that, monetary wise. I leave my wife to be in charge of that, and that's just a monetary thing. You know, she lets me do what I want to do and she does the garden. We back each other up on our hobbies and what we like in life. what we like in life but it weren't that bothered we didn't want a new car or fancy things and really we were just happy as we were and it was just great yeah I think we're just both sort of easy going and as long as you've got somebody we can go home and hug and cry on or laugh with then what more do you want you know can you think of a point in

your life where you've been especially grateful for having your wife nearby? Where my son was poorly, yes. It takes two to deal with things like that, I think. Can I ask how long he was poorly for and how that went? It was an appendix and they'd missed it. And we'd actually been into hospital and they sent him out and they still missed the bloody thing But he had to have a major operation because it perforated and it was close But that's over now. He's there great

How old was he when that was happening? He was He was about 15. Yeah, I mean he's six foot five and I'm looking up to him like that. It's just weird I don't know if you'd be the same with your daughters, but yeah, what? What? One of my daughter is quite tall already, so it's kind of, it's quite funny. But I don't know why I thought this for a day, but I was with my oldest daughter, I was thinking, God, you really are just a normal-sized human being now. And there were so many years where I was just carrying you around.

It seems like a kind of alien prospect now. Like, what was that time when that was possible? Kind of, when was that? How did it happen, you know? There's nowhere. Everywhere. Yes. I was just thinking of some kind of.

Some kind of apparatus that would allow you or me to carry our children just for a brief while just to kind of have the fond memories of carrying the child. So I don't know what this would look like. But you know, some kind of contraption of it would look like you're kind of carrying some of the weight. But not all of it, obviously, because you can do it. I think it should be the other way around. And probably getting close to that, to be fair. But enjoy your time.

That's the best time. Yeah. Yeah. Was life at all different after that moment with him and the appendix? Were you even more appreciative of the time you had? You know? Well, you got the initial, is that it? Is there going to be anything else?

But once you got through all that, I think you just got to, you know, close that book and carry on a bit and move on, and hopefully you don't have to go back to it and just open the pages again. Yes, it was bad for us at a time, but... A lot of people have put it with a lot worse so we could cope with him. And we were together and there was three of us. We're a little, well there's four now with his wife. So we're a nice little entity. What was it like meeting her for the first time?

Frightening. Frightening because you wanted to make an impression or you kind of... No, because you're probably aware, but aware but if you get a phone call at seven o'clock or so in the morning you start of thinking that's not a good phone call and when they say sit down dad I've got some news thinking oh gosh no what now what's going to happen I'm getting engaged was that seven in the morning yeah that phone go out they are that's that great lovely yeah good for it

That was a rare good seven in the morning. Yeah, no, she's a lovely girl. Did you feel any pressure meeting her for the first time to be kind of, you know? Well, yes, because she's from Canada, so she's not got any parents here as well. The father isn't in the picture, so conscious we're in-laws, but we don't want to be,

you know, how far do you go? There was initially this thing, do I hug? Do I not hug? So if I don't hug, she's thinking, ooh, what's wrong with me? Sometimes I can't win this argument. So what did you choose in the end in terms of a hug or not hard? I'm a bit of a hugger to be fair but just sort of little bits, you know. That's why the strangeness in life now. We come from a family up north and

people used to come into the house and as I came into your house and flicked the kettle on and come and sit down and have a chat and you'd have a little hug and there was no connotations to that. to that but nowadays it's there's connotations to it so you as a man as well you've got to be aware you can't just not that I go to hook strange women but you know it's even if you say hello and a little thing like that and you combine that doesn't mean anything but it does nowadays yeah I think that's a shame as well yeah it's complicated isn't it it's really complicated it's always tricky comparing ages isn't it really it is there's always so many other things but there's so many factors at play yes um but as well as I was even in my lifetime

I feel like so many of the central tenets of community are weakening or going. Yeah. And that's not about the people involved. No one's woken up and go, I want to have less community. It's, you know, it's government, it's funding, it's changing lifestyles and how we live. You know, for instance, you know, just in terms of pubs closing it at alarming rate is a great example of that, you know. I think so, but I do think that. people are less caring of other people.

I don't know you, I don't have to care about you. Don't know that guy, if he trips up, he can cite himself at. But is that not the byproduct of not having as many of these spaces as we once did? There is that, but then somebody tripped over, say I went to help them. They've got to be careful because you might do some damage.

Just fall in there. If I help this lady, will she accuse me of, that shouldn't be your first? Yeah, of course. No, of course. Although saying that, I went on a chainsaw course and they said in the event that you chuck your leg off, but really that's not the first thing.

Did you really go to chainsaw course? Yeah, you got to. What do you mean you've got to? For your job? For you to have a proper chainsaw, you've got to prove your chain. Oh, I see. Sorry, I got it, sorry. It was through work, but yeah.

you're supposed to be able to... Change all course. Know how to deal with it, yeah. Are there any more courses to come for you, anything you're keen to learn? Apart of course, you know, you've got your watercolours. No, I'm quite happy, I think. You do seem quite happy.

Yeah, I understand. You do seem very content. If you came as steady as 10,000 pound, I'll say, well, Fine, but see if we can do something else. So what would you do? Let's imagine some bandits drive past us with bags of cash and they dropped one out of the back. And in the back is £10,000 in front of us right now.

We both look at it and I say, it's yours. You deserve it today for talking to me on a bench. What are you going to do with that £10,000 then? Well, I'd like to say, I've got a son, you've got daughters. I wouldn't use it myself, but it could do a lot for my son. And I know that's the wrong thing to say.

Is it anything you would do with it personally? Or would you just give it all to the son? I'd got it. Yeah. Not bothered. Just think of all the watercolors. I'd be wasted. I know, but I've got plenty enough.

Bonnie, lad, give it. You take it. Then the police had come. All right. Seriously, just to be a guy. And we're both getting in trouble. So you're all content. I'm more than happy.

And I hope you are too. I'm feeling good. I don't normally start talking to people as early as we have. I'm sort of a morning person. So I get to the afternoon, I'm, you know, no good. Well, I think when I used to work on a farm, it's a morning thing. You get your job to. Of course.

Do you have a favorite farm yard animal? Cows. I love cows. I like sheep. I went to try some new after shape, trying to get a new image going. Sorry, when was this recently? Since I've been retired. Oh, okay. So I went to this place and she said, what's your favourite scent? What do you like smelling?

And I said, sheep. And she looked at me. Right, this is weird. I just love the smell. Did she open up a special drawer? You didn't actually have anything for me, strangely enough. Yeah. Maybe they're missing a trick there. I love the smell of the wool, the lanyling. You see, that sounds like a niche enterprise.

You could start your own perfumery with the farm-y-oan animal perfumery and just, you know, fellow people that want to smell sheep. But if you, I don't know if you ever seen shearing, sheep-shearing. I have. And the genes and that, they get that from the lannoling.

Yeah. And I just love that smell. Yeah. My father was a sheep farmer. There we go. So I know. I know that smell very well. And I think smells take you back

straight away. in a millisecond to something. I like the smell of cow dung and it just takes me back to when we used to do the milking and obscurely being peed on by the cows because they were higher up in the parlour and it was cold and you're checking for mastitis and rubbing them and it's activated and tails went up and oh thank you at least it's warm.

Bloody cold out there. So, yeah, I just... Oh, what else do you like about them? I just so can't. And I just like to look at them and you can look at them and, like, you're not so good, your eyes, your nose, you can see something rather limping a little bit and they want care, they want to be looked after.

And they weren't just sheep, there weren't money in the bank, they were more, you know. That's a way of life, it's not a job, it's... Yeah. How long can you look at a cow for? If you see a cow in a field, do you stop and stay? Yeah, I can just sit there and let them do their thing and I'm doing my thing. How do you feel about walking? Sometimes as I've got older, when you walk through a field of cows, you get the odd news story of a kind of, you know, they've trampled some people to death and stuff.

And they're obviously in a wonderful sight to behold. But then you also realize just how enormous they are and how much kind of force they can have. Yeah. The one thing about them we've got to respect is that they're inquisitive. And that's all it is, really. If it's a one cow in a field, I'm thinking that's a bull. So I might not go in there. If there's a few there, they generally might want to come up and they'll have a bit of a nudge. But as long as it hasn't got horns, you know, let it nudge you let it nudge you there, but it doesn't matter. When they first came out with the big round bales and they didn't have all the tools to go with it. So you used to get the spike, take it into the fold yard and then you'd have to cut the string, the bale of twine that went round it.

And then you'd have to roll it out. So the two of us rolling it out, twisting it, rolling it out. And they thought, oh, this is good fun. So you are trying to push it and roll it out one side. there's them the other side, oh, I'll have a bit of a happy. That's lovely. I was going to ask, did you have any particular animal, like as in one animal on the farm you got close to?

Or you felt a kind of particular closeness too? They were getting the parloury done, so we had to have an outside, one tin thing, and had this one gorgeous lady. She was getting past her prime. She had really, teeth which were then hard to get the cluster on and one of them she had a wart on and it kept popping off and she had come to the same place she always used to come to me

same place it creatures of habit but bless her you know she used to like a little bit of a rubber a little cuddle so yes yeah it's funny what sticks in your mind isn't it oh yeah that's lovely but i'm gonna i'm gonna ask you three more questions and I'm going to let you get on with your life. Thank you. I like to do a thing where I'm going to ask you to close your eyes, but here's the task. I don't think I'll need to. Oh yeah.

The task is to think back to a scene in your life that you can picture in the most detail. It doesn't have to be kind of a dramatic moment. It could be any moment at any time. It's just something you remember really well from the past. I was wondering if you could try and describe that place and that moment to me, whatever first comes into your head. So that's Northumberland and Bambra, Castle and Beach. And the tide is a long way back.

And you're looking onto it, you can see Farn Islands to the right, you can see Lindisfan and Holy Island to the left. and to the left and sort of in front of us where the sea has gone back there's little areas where the sand has formed delves and the water in there it's a hot day and it's put your feet in and it's just nice and warm and glorious and you're there building all sorts of sand animals anything that you want do a fish an octopus or not just doing castles And it's such a glorious time. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. You couldn't ask for a better view. Have you been? To Bambo Castle? No, I haven't. Please do go. Take those daughters.

Great idea. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Yeah, lovely. I'll do it. Do you have any great visions for what your funeral would look like? It's up to my son. I would like ashes spread somewhere near Dunstanburg Castle. Failing that... Any part of it in particular? No, it's a lovely walkway. Just anywhere near it's fine. I love rock pooling. They don't, strangely enough. I brought up a child of pool who doesn't like rock pooling.

I've obviously done something wrong. It's still time. We did go... last year we went to... I took... He wanted this. show her where spent his childhood and there's me rock pooling and playing around on the sand and there's them two stood there are we going dad I think things have reversed something really well a big touch would here but I'm certain it will skip a generation and a grandchild will be the one we can spend all the time

rock falling they can do what they like and then you'll have a rock falling friend yeah so Ashes skirm scattered? Either there or a tree. Dedicated. I like trees. You should get to know trees. Do nothing else.

Get to know them. Look how it's growing. Why is it growing like that? And they're all different. Every single one is different. And as soon as you think about them, it's just like noticing them, you notice so much. You notice so much. That's why when you're painting them, you think, oh, that's gone wrong.

Oh no, it hasn't because branches don't grow straight there. There's a reason for that. Do you have a particular tree in your life that's significant? No. No, not really. You would like one planted for you? There's York Arboretum. You can go and have a look and find one and they'll put a plaque on it.

What would you like, you know, if a plaque was written for you, and you can have your name and then a handful of words that you've written, what would you say on that plaque? I just basically, we've devoted our lives, my wife and myself, my wife and my son really. I haven't achieved great things, but not too bad. Well, I think it's a great achievement. Thank you very much.

I mean, you know, I haven't altered the world. What is an achievement other than intending? Yeah, intending to do things to make people happier because of it and doing it. Well, that's an achievement. 32-year-old and I got a hug. So I'm pleased, you know. And I hope you still get many more. Oh, yeah.

Only one of my children hugs me. The other one, the other one hates it. Yeah, it'll come. It'll come. It'll come. It'll come back. Well, listen, I've really, really enjoyed talking to you. I've enjoyed talking to you as well.

And I'm really, I'm pleased that a chance brought us together. Nice to meet you. Please, do try and get to Northumber. I will. With your two daughters, you'll really, really enjoy. I'll do that. There's a promise. Okay, well there's we've reached the last question, which is what are you going to do next? No. I... However you want to answer the question. I'm going to go for a drink and then come back and paint a tree.

Well I hope it's a lovely tree and I really enjoy talking to you. And me too, yes. Thank you very much. And I'm glad we've met. I'm glad too. Painting stories around my eyes are gold rings just like a tree. Trunk full of tales that ain't been told on a pocket for the seas. Some are red and some are so blue. Might as well be green. Oh my, oh my, oh my.

I found the barrel of each bowel more crooked Ain't no mind because the crow don't fly as straight as you might think Never ever have seen a branch grow straight Why would I want it to I wrap round my silver tree Things in my head that it can't kill But sticks in your tree