#STRask - How Should We Balance Hating Evil with Loving Our Enemy?

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Questions about how to balance hating evil and protecting the innocent with loving our enemy, and how we can be salt and light in the world while also resting in the fact that God is in control.   How should we balance hating evil and wanting to protect the innocent with loving our enemy? How can we be salt and light in the world but at the same time rest in the fact that God is in control—i.e., how much should we be involved in the world around us, and is self-care a sin?

You're listening to Amy Holland, Greg Kokel on hashtag STR Ask. And we thank you so much for joining us. And if you have never sent in a question, send us a question. Just go to our website at STR.org. If you just look for our hashtag STR Ask page, you should be able to find the link there. And we'd love to hear from you. But today, Greg, we're going to follow on in kind of what we were talking about in the last episode. Okay.

And the first question comes from Michael. In a follow-up to your podcast titled, How Do We Love Those Who Hate Us? How should we balance hating evil and wanting to protect the innocent, vulnerable, and helpless with loving my enemy? Is it a matter of how we frame it, like whether their actions are against me versus if they're against others? Well, that's a, I think a difficult question for me to ask, answer rather, because I find I struggle with animals. towards those people who do bad, especially when you are helping the victims of the wrongdoers. I mean, there are times, well, I just, and I read a lot of military stuff too, and so I'm, I'm conscious of, you know, battle is a little different circumstance where, even though in a certain sense, love your enemy, I think that plays a role. in combat activity.

Still, you have an opponent who is a part of a larger group of people that are doing something evil that you're trying to stop with your military reaction. So I only say this thing is because I'm sympathetic to the person who gets really angry at evil. And consequently, you're not angry. at the abstract evil, you're angry at the people who do the evil that creates the suffering that moves you. So I'm not exactly sure how to answer this, you know, how to how to communicate, oh, here's my trick. Here's the way I manage my emotions. I have to remind myself of what Jesus said when I run into these kinds of circumstances.

And most of the time I'm not facing this particular thing. I'm facing more people who just have been mad at me for something. And generally, I would say inappropriately. Sometimes people get mad at me and I think, oh, I should have done differently. But much of the time, no, I'm being unfairly judged. That's when I have to remind myself, okay, you can't respond in kind, Greg. You can't return evil for perceived evil. You've got to instead do good.

And I think this circumstance comes up much more often than a more radical circumstance that Michael might be referring to there. just think about familial relationships. I realize that sometimes in my family situation, my impulse in dealing with something that hurt my feelings is when I think about it, is almost always an example of me returning evil for evil. Almost always.

It's the impulse, and I have to stop myself, and I have to ask, is this returning evil for evil? Now, that isn't quite the exact question. The question was framed in terms of, love the enemy, et cetera, but certainly this connects to it. So somebody is being an enemy to you at the moment, even if it's someone you love it or in long-term relationship with, still you have to kind of let that roll off and respond with integrity, not returning evil for evil, but blessing instead. And the blessing is not mean give a blessing. Well, I bless you. It means acting in a way that

bring some benefit or goodness to them. So you act the exact opposite way that you feel like you want to act in that circumstance. That's the closest I can come to making a personal application to the issue that's being raised here. I think this is actually one of the biggest questions that Christians are struggling with right now because we're seeing so many, so much of evil being called good and good being called evil and evil being done. and obviously we want justice because justice is good. So if anyone is feeling like they shouldn't desire justice, that's wrong. You should desire justice.

Justice is a good thing. God is just, and that's why we love justice. So you don't have to feel bad for wanting justice. So I think what happens is there are different categories and roles that we take, and sometimes that requires grace. And sometimes that requires judgment, depending on the role and what they're doing. And so if you look at the end of chapter 12 of Romans, going into chapter 13, you will see both of those roles happening. And what Paul says is that he starts off by talking about how we don't take our own revenge.

We don't return evil for evil. and then he says, he says, why, the reason why we don't? And he says, never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. And then he says, but if your enemy is hungry, feed him, et cetera. So we are supposed to show grace. But here's where the important part for this question comes in, because he goes right into the

section, and he talks about the government, and he says the government was established by God to act in his place. So the government is an agent of God, and let's see, he says, For the punishment of evil doers, is that that section? It is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. So notice here, he said that we as individuals show grace, we feed our enemies, we show them grace, because God will take his vengeance. But then he says, and the government is acting in God's place as an avenger of his wrath. So what we have here is that this is a both-and to Michael's question.

The way we balance hating evil and protecting the innocent is with loving your enemy, is that as people, when we are, let's see, how should I put this, it's not that we don't seek God's wrath through the government. We actually do. This is what Paul's saying. The reason why I as an individual can desire someone's repentance and pray for their repentance and not return evil for evil when I'm interacting with that person is that justice will be done. And it might be done by the government now or it might be done by God in the future.

But if it is a governmental matter, we definitely take that to the government. the government. I think this could not be more clear that it doesn't mean that we let people get away with harming others. We actually do bring the government in when that is appropriate. That's for the sake of the whole society. But the reason why that we can pray for their repentance and let the government, the reason why we can do that is that we can let the government and God take care of justice. and we don't have to worry that by treating them well, we're denying justice. But the whole point is, and this is a point that Peter makes so well in First Peter, the reason why we respond with grace is that we are showing them who Jesus is.

He is the example. He did not revile in return. He didn't utter threats because he was entrusting himself to God who judges righteously. And when we respond that way, people see that image. of Jesus. So we are reflecting him to the world. So it's not because we don't want, we don't want them to not like us. That's not why we're being nice to them because we can't avoid people not liking us. People didn't like Jesus. So even if we act like Jesus, they still won't like us. But it's so that we can show them Jesus and that's a way of revealing the gospel to them.

So I know that's a lot to put together, but I think the way we balance it is that we have a role, government has a role, God has a role, and our role is to show as individuals is to show them who Jesus is by responding as he responded. I think making these distinctions is really important, especially when it applies to some other things, where commands are given to individuals to care for love, be charitable, et cetera. And those commands are somehow and frequently then transferred to the government, like we're to care for the poor. Scripture doesn't say that government should care for the poor. It says that we should care for the poor. The irony is when that's that confusion, we're talking here a little bit about a confusion of roles here. Who does what? Well, government takes responsibility for executing justice on God's behalf of earth. It's an agent of justice, not grace. But human beings are the agent of grace and virtue on this side. And so we don't take the government's responsibility on us.

and we don't push our responsibility on the government. And by the way, that's what's happened a lot with the way aid to the poor is done. The government will do it. We'll just take your money and then we'll see that it's distributed in a way that we think is fair and appropriate. Well, if I were to distribute to an individual out of an act of charity or mercy or grace, I can manage and oversee the distribution of that and the person who gets it. The whole dynamic has changed. And those people who there used to be the case, people would come to the house to ask for donations for things. They'd also go to the workplace and ask for donations. And when they came to the person's house, the person would say, I already gave it the office. All right. I already gave it the office. So this is an archaic example. But in a certain sense, that's the way things have gotten turned around here, and it's what Scrooge referred to when he was accosted in the beginning

of whatever version that you watch of the Christmas Carol. Thank you. I'm downloading Christmas Carol is I gave it the office. You're asking me for money. I gave it the office. I gave money to the government to run these institutions. So there's no requirement for him to be charitable to devout. to develop the virtue of charity.

And the same thing, when the government runs all these things, it takes your money. You gave it the office, as it were, and now the government is doing its distribution, which isn't charitable because the government isn't an individual who's giving of their own resources to help another individual. It's an entity that takes from one and gives to the other and redistributes it and keeps a lot of it in the process. So this is just another area where the responsibilities of individual people and governments are getting confused and creating more problems. Let's go to a question from Michael. He just did Michael.

This is another Michael. Oh, wait, okay. I mean, I crossed Michael out. Actually, it might be the same Michael. It might be the same Michael. All right. Maybe he has two related questions here. All right.

Can you give some guidance on how to be the salt slash light of the world, but at the same time, resting in the fact that God is in control. How much should we be involved in the world around us? Is self-care like vacations or a, let's see, oh, I see, is self-care like vacations or and a hermit lifestyle a sin? I think there's a, I'm not sure, I'm not reading that right, but our self-care is self-care like vacations and a hermit lifestyle sins. Well, there's a lot going on there. Sorry, Michael. Yeah. I messed up your question.

Well, I don't see how self-care can be considered a sin. I'm not sure I entirely understand it. Now, there are people now, and we have a culture that is profoundly self-centered. Okay? You do you. If it feels good, do it. Whatever turned you on. I mean, you have the first was a slogan from now, the last two was a slogan from 50 years ago.

And so that is a very self-centered. perspective, but that's not the same as being, what was the word, he used self-care? I don't know why anyone would think that self-care, maintaining your health, staying healthy, would be wrong. Now, I don't, pardon me, I don't know if there's a biblical verse that I can think of that explicitly states such a thing. People talk about the, well, your body's a temple of the Holy Spirit, you know, don't turn it into a pizza hut, blah, blah, blah, well, wait a minute, that's not the point that Paul was making. He was not talking about physical health, what food you eat or, you know, pump an iron or whatever. He was talking about moral health. Don't fornicate, was his point. With prostitutes is what he was talking to out there. But at the same time, it just, you know, stands to reason that if you are obliged to be fruitful for the kingdom, that taking care of yourself, self-care, is part of the process. You get educated, right, for the sake of the kingdom.

You do all kinds of things to help you be more effective for the kingdom. Why not that? So I don't see any problem with self-care. Living a hermit's life, that's different. and I know there was a tradition of the certain hermit-like saints that would go off in, you know, I'm trying to think of their, like the desert mystics and, what's the word I'm looking for, Amy? Ashetics. Aesthetics, yeah. And they would deny themselves all kinds of things.

They would fast a lot and, et cetera, and live in these. extreme circumstances as an expression of their spirituality. Now, I think actually Paul speaks against that, this harsh treatment of the flesh. Where is that? Colossians, as if this is going to add to your spirituality, it doesn't. There might have been some good writings that came from some of those people, but as a rule, I don't think this is the biblical model. The biblical model is much different when you look through the New Testament scriptures, and lead a quiet life, work with your hands, et cetera, you know, make provision for yourself and for other people, preach the gospel, make disciples, all of that, not become hermits.

So I think that's antithetical, even though there is this tradition of asceticism and mysticism in the church that many people admire. I think it's problematic. So I certainly, that's not the way to go. I'm just wondering. How about this first part, Greg, guidance on how to be salt light of the world, but at the same time resting in the fact that God is in control? Well, I guess sometimes questions are worded as contrasts or like dilemmas. How can I do this and this at the same time?

And I don't always see these as dilemmas. Being salt and light and believing God is in control, I don't see how they're in. even remotely in opposition to each other. Maybe what he's suggesting is that if you believe that God is in control, you have a somewhat fatalistic view of life, and so there's no need to try to do anything to help other people because, after all, God's the one who's running everything. And all I could say is, though there is a mystery

of the way God fulfills his sovereign purposes, and human beings making meaningfully free choices, there is a mystery there, just like, you know, Paul wrote Romans, but God wrote Romans. Well, it looks like Paul's writing, yeah, but it's God's writing too. There's a mystery there of concursive operation. We have the same kind of mystery, I think, just in being salted light and God being in charge of things. But nevertheless, we, even though there's a mystery there, it's clear in Scripture that God is sovereign, and we have responsibilities of things what we are supposed to do to be meaningful,

act meaningfully, have a meaningful impact on God's purposes in history. The illustration I come back to a lot when people ask about this is Joseph and Mary right after Jesus was born. And by the way, I do ask this question, do you think Jesus was destined by God, purposed by God, ordained and secured by God, dying across 33 years after his birth or so. And the answer is, yes, of course. Peter talks about that, and of course is throughout the scripture. Well, then why is it that Mary and Joseph took Jesus to Egypt because his life was being threatened? Well, how could his life be threatened as a child if God

is ordained that he is going to die in across 33 years later? Go ahead, Herod, take your best shot. it. Not going to hurt me. Well, because the, and you know the same, it's the means and the, the means and the ends are all mixed together in God's purposes. And so we participate in the means to ends that he is, his purpose to take place. And that's a noble thing that we get to be involved in, and people will say, well, how does that work? And my answer is, I don't know. And that's one of the biggest mysteries about how God gets his purposes fulfilled, even in the process, using as an agency, the decisions that human beings make. But the scripture is filled with these kinds of things. So, anyway, that's kind of the best I can offer at that point.

I don't see the contradiction there between the two. Yeah, I think that is the point to remember that God does things through means. When we rest knowing that God's in control, it's not knowing that God is going to magically do a miracle so that everything changes. It's that God will use the work that we do and the results are ultimately up to God. But once we do everything we can do, that is how we don't despair. You know, God can multiply our efforts. He can frustrate our efforts for whatever purpose he has. And what we do is we rest in the fact knowing that as God has proved on the cross, he's powerful, he's sovereign, and he's loving.

So we put it in his hands, but that doesn't mean we don't do our work. Right. We still do, God is doing things through means, not through direct miracles. Right. It's not immediate, but immediate through other agency, and we're part of that. I have a phrase, I use a lot around here, you recognize that we run into these difficulties, and, of course, we work hard to stand a reason, but at the same time, we come up against things that flummox us, or maybe we can't resolve, at least right away, and my phrase is simply God knows.

God knows. That's for my own comfort, an affirmation of the sovereignty of God, but it's also for the comfort of those who I lead here at Stand a Reason. That's okay. We get it. Now, God knows. Now that he knows, okay, let's get to work. What of our options?

How do we fix this? And so regarding this second part here, let's see, how much should we be involved with the world around us? I think a lot of that depends on your gifts and your role. So let's say somebody is particularly gifted as a politician or as a writer or whatever it is. You use those gifts. Now, maybe somebody, their gifts are contributing to the world. world in other ways by creating products or maybe they are a doctor and they're heal people. There are all sorts of ways that we're contributing to the world.

But living a normal life and interacting with the people around you, representing Christ, spreading the gospel, looking after the people around you, giving to help them when they're in need, all of these things are being involved in the world. I think sometimes people think that, quote, being involved in the world is doing political action. That's not all that's that's not all there is. I mean, if we just had 50% of Christians living beautiful, good lives, I mean, hopefully we do have that many, but I mean, everything you're doing interacting with your neighbors is affecting the world and making a difference for the kingdom. So how you're interacting with the world depends on your gifts and your role,

but I don't, but you should be interacting with other. people. I do think it's not a good idea to just be a hermit and to ever interact with anyone. I think there's a dispositional element here. Some people have a temperament that is just more introverted of whatever. And so I think there's room for that kind of variation, but it isn't like, well, I'm an introvert, so I'm going to be a hermit. And as a Christian, and I'll just praise God on my own or something. Well, then we aren't being salted light, obviously. We're not salting anything. We're not lighting anything up, except for the candle in our little monastery.

And as far as the self-care question, I think it's important that we do understand our limitations. So if you're asking about respecting your limitations and getting a break, you're not going to do anyone any good if you just burn yourself out and never take a break. So depending on how you're defining self-care, I mean, I'm sure there are different ways to define that. But obviously, you need to be aware of your limitations and take breaks or you won't make it for the long-haul. So that's something that you would have to figure out on your own. But I don't think there's something inherently sinful about vacations.

Me neither. All right. Well, even Jesus, didn't he like go out by himself on the mountain side to pray? And he was taking a break from the people. But notice when they came and found him and he saw their need, he then took that up again. So you need to be aware of what's going on around you, but definitely breaks are okay. All right, thanks so much, Michael. We really appreciate hearing from you.

And actually, it does look like it's the same Michael now that I look at the email address. So thanks for both of your questions. All right, we'd love to hear from you. So send us your question, and we will consider it for the show. This is Amy Hall and Greg Kokel for Stand to Reason.