#STRask - Is “God the Father” a Sexist Term That Demeans Women?

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Questions about whether “God the Father” is a sexist term that demeans women in general and mothers in particular, how long Hell has been there, whether God created it, and how to explain the kind of anger that would lead to the creation of Hell.   Can you respond to the critique that “God the Father” is a sexist term that demeans women in general and mothers in particular? How long has Hell been there, and did God create it? I can’t imagine that kind of anger.

You're listening to Stand to Reason's hashtag STR-Ask Podcast. Welcome. I'm Amy Hall and Greg Kokel's here with me to answer your questions. You started so mellow, Amy. I'm thinking, wow, you are mellow today. Because my brain's already turning on the next question. I'm about to ask you. All right, good. So this one comes from Lucy. Can you respond to the critique that, quote, God the father is a sexist term that demeans women in general and mothers in particular? I'm pausing because I'm a bit speechless.

Well, let me ask this question. Is the fact that we call dads fathers in families sexist and demeaning. to women and mothers. Why would anybody think that? And in this case, I'm trying to figure out why would anybody think that God as a father, which is the way he describes himself, is somehow demeaning to women.

Fathers are protectors. Fathers are providers. Fathers, I mean, when you think of the notion of a father, all of the positive things that fathers are meant to be, and I know we're fallen creatures and we don't fulfill that, but I mean, just think it's the notion of being a father that someone is objecting to. This is a put down on women. Well, what if we said not father but mother, would that be a put down on men?

Well, it would have to be if you follow the same reasoning. So then what would be the proper way of describing a personal being that cares for everything. And incidentally, scripture is filled with feminine characterizations of God, even though he identifies himself as father. He has also talked about as a bird with wings covering that hens, chicks with her pinions, you know, feathers. So we get these variety of characterizations, both male and female,

how what mother, father, nevertheless, this is the way God describes himself. So if we don't use mother or father, then we're stuck with what? It? Well, that doesn't do, you know, credit to the person of God. I don't know what's left. It, what this, this strikes me as a manufactured complaint, all right? It's hard for me to imagine that prior to 50 years ago, let's just say prior to the 60s, so it's a little longer than that. Prior to the 60s, this thought would have occurred to

anybody. But since the 60s, there has been, with a feminist kind of movement, that may have merits or whatever, I'm not speaking to that in general, but because of this mentality, there has been, it's almost an effort to find things to complain about pertaining to gender or, or, uh, references. I'm not talking about gender dysphoria issues. I'm talking about like mother-father, you know. I mean, people have, believe it or not, have taken offense to the fact that the sewer covers that are metal are called manholes. What's, you know, like, all right. That's what I mean by manufacturer complaint. I honestly, for myself, I have a hard time taking this seriously. I, I mean, My question would be, what is, let's see, what is the, I'm looking for the words, okay, what is

sexist and demeaning of women and mothers by calling God father, making a reference to God his father? Even if this isn't the way he characterized himself, what would be the problem there, right? I just don't get it. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, that this is a new. newer thing. You wouldn't read, you know, say around 1,500, A.D., whatever it is. You wouldn't read this. And I honestly think part of the problem here is the materialism of our culture. And by that I mean this, the atheism, the naturalism of our culture. Because in the Christian

worldview in a world created by the Christian God, men and women are created in God's image. We are intrinsically valuable. We bear the image of God, which means that our value does not come from what we do or the role we have. Our value comes from what we are, which is image bearers of God. Right. So if you think God does not. exist. Well, now you have a problem because there is nothing in human beings that we all share equally to make us equal. There's nothing. We have so many differences. So if our value doesn't come from bearing the image of God, our value comes from what we do. It comes from our job. It comes from our roles. It comes from our abilities. It comes from our looks. It comes from all these other

things that are gradated. Is that word am I thinking? These are properties that have degrees. That's what I was trying to think of. There are degreed properties. So there's nothing that makes us all equal. So now imagine that's how you think we get our value. So if the father is the head of the household or God is a father or the head of a business is a man, Well, now it's not a woman, which means the woman is lesser than the man. This is where our culture is always trying to make everybody the same, because that's the only way they can ground equality. And since we have equality drummed into us because that's just our culture in the West, they're trying to make that happen by making everybody the same, by cutting down people who are above others, by lifting up people artificially into places. they shouldn't be, because everyone has to have the same role and the same gifts and the same

results. Otherwise, we're not equal. So for Christians, this isn't an issue. We don't get our value from roles. So when we say, okay, the father is the head of the household, we don't find that demeaning. It actually works in a really nice, beautiful way. And you've written about this a wonderful piece you might reference that. Yeah, so I have two pieces on our website. One's called the beauty of submission and one's called the beauty of leadership. And it's about how when we have these complementary roles, they work really well together and they're very satisfying. If you don't feel like you have to have the same role as everyone else. And it's actually more fulfilling to fulfill the role that you were created to fulfill. Rather than trying to take on other roles

because you perceive them as being more powerful or more important or more prestigious. So I think this is what's going on here. So I think when we call God a father, they see, oh, well, then I'm less than you. I think that's how they're interpreting it, and that's why they're interpreting it that way. But the truth is that masculinity and femininity are different. They're just different. And as you pointed out, Greg, we're not going to call God an it. That is so impersonal.

God didn't want us to think of him as an impersonal other. He wanted us to think of him as a relational being as a father who has a son. So we see that relationship, even between father and son, we see that relationship in the Trinity. it's meaningful. He has to have a pronoun that's personal. And we've got two of them. So it's going to be mother or it's going to be father. So now the question is, does masculinity better fit who God wants to portray himself as, even though he doesn't have a physical gender? Or does femininity better represent that? And I think the answer is obvious because of, I think masculinity, is something that automatically has more authority and communicates the idea of not only a father who is maturing his son and shaping his son or his daughter, but also someone who has the authority to discipline, authority and responsibility, and to discipline. So God is not only someone who is caring for children, but he's also someone who judges the world. And this is something I think

masculinity is better at communicating to others. You also have the problem of the female gods, and we've talked about this before, that were all the fertility rights and they had the cult prostitutes and all those things. Well, God did not want to bring that into religion. He did not want to bring that into who he is. He wanted a familial situation happening, father and son, bringing in a female god in that. I don't even like the way I just said that. But the female gods communicated something completely different. Corruption.

Yeah, it was not because they're female, but just because of what it brought into the situation and how it was working out in the cultures. So this is, he was separating himself from all of that. And he was communicating a masculinity, a healthy one. And this is another thing. I think people assume masculinity is toxic. And here's where I'd recommend Nancy Piercy's book, The toxic War on masculinity. But I think people assume that masculinity is toxic rather than looking at how masculinity is portrayed in Jesus and the Father and looking at what that that communicates about proper masculinity and fatherhood. I think we have to start there. We can't impose our ideas of toxic masculinity onto God, or to think that just because he's portraying himself as masculine, that means he's putting down women. Just look at Jesus. Look how he treated women. Look how the West has treated women over time. All of these things, they all make sense and work together. But as soon as you take a piece out, like our intrinsic value, it ceases to make sense.

So I think if somebody's asking you this question, you have to start there. You have to start with, okay, you have to look at this as a whole, as a whole worldview, not as this one little piece by itself, because if you try to do that, none of this is going to make sense. Let me just add a thought to your comment and everything you said was fabulous. You said, look at the way the West has treated women. That has to be taken in a comparative sense. It is easy to look at any culture at any time, no matter how well they seem to treat women and then find areas that people aren't completely satisfied with, all right.

But you have to compare it to what came before it. It's a step forward. It's an improvement. So the way that the East treats women or the way the ancient culture, especially here in this case, because Christianity came out of the ancient, near-eastern culture. How they treated women, it was, I mean, what Paul and the rest of the corpus of the New Testament, including Jesus' actions and teaching, demonstrated was elevating women to a level that was unheard of in that culture, all right? So even though in the exercise of these things, there are some people who still take offense.

you mean the man's the head of the household? Please, you know, that bothers them. You have to compare that to the way it was before. And this is what you were referring to, is look at how a Christian ethos influenced the way women are treated in the world compared to the way, underscoring this, compared to the way the rest of the world at that time treated them. This is a move in a positive, sub-salutory direction. And there's a reason why women were flocking to Christianity at the beginning. And part of it was the Christians were saving the girl babies that people were leaving out to die. But there was a reason is because they valued women.

And I don't want to act like the Christians were the first ones because this comes out of the Old Testament. From God's beginning of his revelation, Adam and Eve were created in the image. image of God. They are, they, they, um, side by side. Yeah, so there's always this understanding. And in fact, if you look at the whole Old Testament, their, Ruth is honored, the Proverbs 31 woman is honored. Men were, um, they were allowed to take the, when they got married, it says they don't

have to do, um, any military service for two years because, and it, and it's, and it's so that they can make their wife happy. So you see all of these different ways that women were protected in the law that just doesn't exist in other cultures. So it wasn't even just Christianity. This all started when at the beginning of God's revelation when he was describing who we are as men and women. I just read Deuteronomy that if you're engaged, the guy is engaged to a gal. He doesn't have to do military service because he may be engaged and then go away and get killed. Stay home and get married first, you know. And there's an accommodation. there to those kinds of concerns, even in the Mosaic law.

So it's throughout. It's just throughout the worldview that has been revealed over time by God. Okay, let's go on to a question from Patty. How long has hell been there and did God create it? I cannot imagine that kind of anger. How long has hell been what? How long has hell been there and did God create it? Well, it's been there a long time.

I don't know how long hell has been there. Hill is the place, which is the final destination of not only the devil and his fallen angels and the beasts and those characters that were the nasties in the book of Revelation, but all the human beings that deserve punishment for their crimes as characterized in the books that are open there in Revelation 20, they are judged according to their deeds. I don't, I mean, haven't worked through, done a deep dive and all of this. I'm not sure if, like, hell is vacant now, or maybe that place isn't even, I don't know what the status of it is or how long it is, and it's not relevant. I think what is relevant is the point about God's anger. And when you read through the texts, especially in the Hebrew scripture,

scriptures, even the Psalms, you see a celebration of God's anger against evil. In fact, there's a Psalm, and I can't locate it right now, but where it says that the mountains are rejoicing and the hills are clapping their hands or something to that effect. It's a personification of the excitement of the creation because God is judging the unrighteous, because God is fulfilling the punishment of the wicked. And God is angry at sin. And this is given the short shrift a lot in our communications about Christianity and the gospel and all that. But the gospel is good news because the bad news is really bad. The good news is really good because the bad news is really bad. And what's curious is when you look through the book of Acts, you see a number of

characterizations of this. They don't talk about the love of God. The word love doesn't appear in the book of Acts. It certainly is not in any of the preaching of the book of Acts. Instead, you have something else. No, is the love of God manifest there? Yeah, but it is in front and center. What's front and center is the danger. So I'm just thinking right now of Acts 10, Peter goes to Cornelius to communicate the gospel to this Gentile. And what he says there, he talks about being witnesses of all the things that Jesus did, both in the land of the Jews and in Jerusalem, and then he was put to death by hanging him on a cross. These are details that he's given. And then, verse 40, Acts 10, God raised him up. This is part of Peter's sermon. Raised him up,

so he declares the resurrection on the third day, and granted that he become visible, not to all people, but to witnesses who are chosen to be wearing by God. That is to us, who ate and drank with him, after he arose from the dead, 42, and he ordered us to preach to the people and solemnly to testify that this is the one who has been appointed by God as judge of the living and the dead. Whoa. So when he gets into the particulars of theology, not just what they witness with Jesus on the earth, here's what it's all about. He's the judge. Bad news. Okay. and next verse, good news. Of him, all the prophets bear witness

that through his name, everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins. Now, that's Acts 10, Cornelius. If you go to Acts 18, whatever, you see the same thing in the Ariopagus where Paul is on Mars Hill and he's talking to the Epicurean philosophers,

and he makes a similar kind of statement. He starts talking about, you know, the worshipping the idol to the unknown God, and then when he gets into his, his like sermon with them, he makes a point about judgment. Therefore, having overlooked the times of ignorance, which you guys are in, you're worshipping the unknown God, that which you worship in ignorance I declare to you openly, Paul says, as he introduces his peace. God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent because he has fixed a day in which he will judge the world in righteousness through a man who he has appointed having furnished proof to all men by raising him from the dead.

Whoa, now they didn't like that at all, but notice how he goes right to the heart of the problem of judgment. The point I'm making here is what you don't see is this exfusive expression of the love of God, in the way that gospel is preached in the book of Acts by the very people that Jesus personally trained. Instead, you see something different, a warning of judgment that people are under unless they get rescued by the rescuer. And he is Jesus, having provided proof of his role by raising from the dead. In both those cases, whether it's Acts 17 in the Areopagus or whether it's Acts 10, we see the same pattern. And indeed, the other, what, 11 examples of the gospel being preached follows pretty much the same pattern. So God is angry, and hell is real.

That's why the scripture talks about it. Now, it may not make sense, and we talked about this, I think, maybe in another show or maybe. It was early. It was one or two shows ago. I can't remember. Right. And about how things don't make sense. to us, but should we still believe them? Well, if we have a good authority, God himself, Jesus himself, Paul and the influence of the Holy Spirit, himself, making these statements, even though if it seems a bit much to us, it doesn't mean it's not accurate. The fact is love and goodness require punishment of evil. It requires it. It requires it. So the reason why you cannot imagine that kind of anger is because you are not as good or as loving as God.

Exactly. And that is the bottom line. And this is why we have trouble with this. Number one, we don't see God in his goodness and righteousness. Like Isaiah saw him when he fell down and said, woe is me. Because as soon as you see that perfection, you realize how far short you are of it. A man of unclean lips. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, this is Isaiah. He was a good guy. He's no lackey. But he fell down before God when he saw his love and his goodness. So we don't see that, see him as he is, and we don't see us as we are. And the way to better see us as we are is to better see God as he is. And again, the reason why you don't understand the judgment is because you also don't understand the love and the righteousness. If you did, you would understand it. You would say, woe is me. You would fall down before God and see the rightness of the justice. So we all know a good judge judges. So in order to understand God a little better, I recommend R.C. Sproles' book, The Holiness of God, which he does a really good job at kind of conveying this idea of what holiness requires and the beauty of that holiness.

Because goodness is beautiful, and love is beautiful, justice is beautiful. And all you have to do is look around at judges who let people out after, you know, a couple years, they've murdered all these people, and they get out. People are angry. At the judge. They're angry at the judge. They don't say, wow, they put them in jail for 50 years. I just can't imagine that kind of anger. Well, the reason why you can't imagine the kind of anger that puts a murderer of multiple people away for 50 years is because you're not.

you don't really care that much about murder. And so just apply that. You can see it. It's easy for us to see when we put it in terms that we witness. So now put that in cosmic terms here. And you can see that the reason why we're objecting is because we really don't care all that much about evil. We don't care as much as God cares. We're not as good as he is. We don't love the way he loves. We don't hate evil like he does. So I think we just all we need to get better at seeing God as as he is. Yeah, we audaciously think that we're more loving than he is because we would never require that. But that's what goodness requires. God is loving because he's good and he's angry and judges because he's good. That detail of his character informs both. Well, thank you so much, Lucy and Patty.

Thank you for sending your questions. and you can send us your question on X with the hashtag STR Ask. Or if you go to our website at STR.org, just look for our hashtag STRask page, and you'll find a link there to send us your question. Thank you so much for listening. This is Amy Hall and Greg Kokel for Stand to Reason.