#STRask - Is It a Sin to Feel Let Down by God?

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Questions about whether it’s a sin to feel let down by God and whether it would be easier to have a personal relationship with a rock than with a God who hasn’t spoken in over 2,000 years.   Is it a sin to feel let down by God? It would be easier to have a personal relationship with a rock than with a God who hasn’t actually spoken in over 2,000 years. What kind of God would be that way?

Welcome. You're listening to Amy Hall and Greg Kokel on Stand to Reason's hashtag S-TR-ask podcast. That's it. That's it. That's all I have to say about that. It's close a brer. All right, Greg, since we were talking about how great God is in the last. episode, we're going to go on to a question from James. Is it a sin to feel let down by God? Many worship songs talk about God never failing us and never letting us down. Maybe in the long run, that could be true, but it's hard to not feel let down from day to day. If I feel let down by God, am I just mistaken by definition or something like that? Well, I'm glad you, or he added the

phrase by definition, because it turns out in almost every single circumstance, when people say, Jesus has never failed me. God has never failed me. That is an analytic statement. In other words, it's true by definition. It's like all bachelors are unmarried. Well, that's because the way we define it. So if I were to ask, okay, what would be a circumstance by which you would say,

well, Jesus did let me down on this one. He said, I can't, they would say I can't imagine one. Now, that's because they are not talking. about their experience, really. They're talking about the nature of God and his sovereign capability to do what's good in our lives. So even when we feel let down, we haven't been let down because God is just a lot of circumstance in our life that we don't like, but that he is still sovereign over and that he is still good, and he has a reason why he did that. So this isn't a put-down in those statements. It's just trying to put them in their proper perspective.

I think a lot of times when people sing these songs, they're not thinking about it, but the fact is there are a lot of people who feel let down by God, and I'm among them. If I were just to look at my circumstances and my prayer life and the things that I have asked God to do that are godly things that are in a certain sense within his moral will, so consistent with his will in that sense, and yet have seen no progress on, I feel let down. I mean, I have that, that, the feeling. Okay, my attitude about it is that God hasn't let me down because I know better about the character of God. And so I have to instruct my feelings based on my understanding of the truth of the matter. So I take my feelings to some degree captive to what is

true. Now, when I do that, it doesn't mean that I don't feel that anymore. I'm just aware that my feelings which are just my feelings, and the truth may be different. This is why I don't like songs like that, because they're too easily misunderstood. God will never let you down, should be qualified by what people who are thinking accurately about it actually mean. They mean that no matter what happens, God is still in control, and he's got our best interests in mind. This just goes to the sovereignty of a good God.

There's a wonderful little booklet that I read recently, which I gave to you, and you read it because it was the things you've been saying for years and years like this about the sovereignty of God. Do you remember that little booklet? I can't remember the name of it, but I still have it by my chair and the table next to my chair where I have books I read and where I pray, et cetera. And I have to go over it and remind myself that. these basic principles of God's sovereignty, that there is nothing that will invade our life

that hasn't come through his loving hands, either causally or by permission, and is underneath the goodness of God, and he will work out for good in our life according to the promise in Romans chapter 8. So I think that people, when they hear these words, though, it's too easily misunderstood. And what they mean is, or what it sounds like they mean is, yeah, everything that I had hoped for in God worked out the way I hope for it, he's never let me down. Now, of course, that's not true in anybody's life. In that sense, everybody has disappointments. Nobody gets all their prayers answered. And that's a good thing, not a bad thing, because we don't pray as we ought. Romans 8 says that.

And so, consequently, there are disappointments we experience. Now, the question here is, is such a disappointment sin? I mean, I wouldn't lay that on anybody. I guess you could say if you're disappointing, you're disappointed. That's an evidence that you're lacking trusting God, because if you really trusted the way you ought to be trusting, then you would see, you would by faith, understand. that God hasn't disappointed you that he's actually done something good for you in the delay of this desire or the pain and hardship you've experienced. Momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory, or that's in 2nd Corinthiansthias 4 or Romans 8.

I do not count the sufferings of this life to bear any resemblance to the glories that are to follow. So there is the, in a sense, the proper perspective. but, you know, good for Paul, and I read those verses because I need his encouragement because it doesn't feel the way to me oftentimes. But I don't, I guess technically, it would be a sin because it's a sin of not trusting God is good for his word or his character. But I would never lay that on anybody because it's just understandable. It's a matter of growing in Christ that you love.

learn over time that God is, that he allows things that are hard for our good. And you learn that over time. You look back and say, oh, I can see now why he let that come into my life because we see the fruits of it. But by complicating with like, oh, no, I'm sitting because I'm disappointed, I think that just makes matters worse. I don't think that helps anything. Though technically, yeah, I guess it's a lack of trust.

but I don't beat myself up on that personally. I take that, I'm sorry, I know you want to get it. I take those disappointments to the Lord in prayer and lay my heart out to him about it. I think I would make a distinction between feeling disappointment and sadness versus feeling like God, quote, let you down. I think those are two different things. Because I think you can acknowledge that God is working for his glory and our good and still feel sad about how things went.

I think that's a totally normal thing. Sure. But I think as soon as you start saying let down by God, then I think that's where the problem comes in. And I love what you said about instructing your feelings. And when you realize my feelings are not aligning with the truth here, this idea that God somehow forgot about me or didn't do what was right, you know that that's a wrong. idea. So you're instructing your feelings to align with the truth. So even in your sadness and your disappointment that things didn't work out the way you wanted them to, you can still rejoice

that God did not let you down. Even though it looks like that to you at the time, you know that he is doing everything for his glory and for your good. So yes, I do think it is a sin to say that God's word isn't trustworthy or God's character. You can't count on it. But guess what? We sin all the time. This is nothing new. You can be completely open with yourself about that and just press into the gospel at that point. Because we will have reactions, simple reactions to everything. And the answer is not to pretend like it's not sinful. The answer is to say, thank you, Lord, for your grace for me. And help me to Holy Spirit, help me to put that sin to death and to shape my mind so that my response is the way you would have me respond. And I think you can, the idea that we can be open about

our sin and not be condemned by it or not feel condemned by it is something that the gospel allows us to do. Sure. I'm thinking in a Romans 12 word says, all discipline. So I was talking about God disciplining his children like a good father. And then it says, all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. But afterwards, for those who have been trained by it, yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. So you've got, I mean, how many times have we thought, oh, man, this came into my life. This happened to me. I prayed for something different. I expected something different. We could say, well, God, you let me down, you didn't do right by me, or we could say, I don't like that, but it's God's hand in my life that's good, even though

for the moment this discipline does not seem to be joyful. It's sorrowful. Bummer, you know, but then the long view afterwards yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. You brought up the idea of two different ways to react, and that reminded me when we think about the story of Lazarus, we see, first of all... The account of Lazarus. Thank you, Greg. The account of Lazarus. It really happened. It's not a Bible story.

It did really happen. What you see there, when Jesus goes to the tomb and he's weeping, there are two responses. one response that people have is, well, couldn't he have saved him? And the other response is, look how he loved him. So it's two ways of looking at the same thing. Yes, Jesus let him die. And some are seeing his love in the midst of that. And some are saying, well, he could have stopped it.

So you see those two reactions. But in the story of Lazarus, we also see God's two greatest goals. I count. Thank you. We also see God's two. Right, don't stop that. We see God's two greatest goals, and that is His glory and our good, because when he hears that Lazarus is dying, he stays two days longer in the place where he was. So he lets him die.

He delays on purpose. Yes. But he says because he loved Lazarus. So it was because of his love that he let him die. We don't know why yet, but we know that's the case, at least at this part of the account. But then we see Jesus saying this isn't this death, this isn't end in death, but it's for the glory of God so the son of God may be glorified it. So we see in this one thing, not only is God working for his glory, but he's also working for Lazarus's good. He did not forget that.

So the good of Lazarus was being part of this revelation of Jesus' glory and being part of this whole. this whole ability to show people who Jesus was. So we see both of those happening there. Now, the problem is we feel let down because those aren't our two greatest goals. If we had those two things as our greatest goals, we would never feel let down by God because we would always want those above anything else. We just, we don't want those above everything else, although we should, but we're working towards that, I guess, and the Holy Spirit's working on us. But we have this secret feeling that God is holding out on us, and that's when we start to sin. That's when we start to try to take things he hasn't given us. So that's something

we really have to fight. And one verse that really can help with this is thinking about Romans 832, he who did not spare his own son, but delivered him over for us. How will he not with him freely give us all things? If he didn't withhold Jesus, it's not the case that he's withholding something from you. That's great. Because nothing is worth more than that to the Father. So I think that's something we can hang on to and we can know without a doubt that he's not holding out on us. And we can know that if we don't receive something from him, there's a reason for it.

And not just a reason, but a reason that's motivated by his love and orchestrated. by his providence. And I think we just need to reflect, I think the cross helps us a lot with this. But any time you're reading the Gospels and you see how Jesus interacts with people and think about what Lazarus went through and they thought it was worth it. They weren't mad at Jesus for this because they saw why it was worth it. Now, we don't always see that. But if we look at other situations where it was worth it, that can help us to trust now. Well, there's a, just from an apologetics perspective, too, there was something else that was going on that was being affirmed because Jesus said to Mary and Martha, I get a mixed up a little

bit, but to one, he said, I am the resurrection of life. He who believes in me will live even if he dies. And Mary or Martha said, I know there will be a resurrection in the end time. So she's making an acknowledgment of something that she is convinced of for the future. And then Jesus says, watch this, essentially. And then he calls Lazarus out of the grave. So he performs a resurrection after he'd been in the grave for three days. And in fact, there's a warning. Well, I think he's going to smell bad.

You know, don't open the, you know, but nevertheless, this then is a visit. powerful characterization of not only the messianic office that Jesus had, but also the fact that there is going to be a resurrection, because he's doing this resurrection in time space now then in order to show that there is going to be a time space resurrection in the future. It's kind of like a down payment on it. He said, look, yeah, you think that's happened in the future. It's going to, let me prove that to you. Watch this kind of thing.

So it has another element that's attached to that. And the suffering that Lazarus went through, it's not like Jesus isn't undergoing the same kind of thing he's asking us to go through. He certainly suffered. In fact, you mentioned the verse on our sufferings aren't worthy to be compared, the glory. Second Corinthians 4, 16, 17. And I think what comes right after that is he says, if we suffer with him, in order that we may be glorified with him.

So that glory is going to come, but the suffering comes first. Sure, yeah. And we are to expect that. Yeah. Actually, for the record, I think that's a different passage. But it companions well, all of these, 2nd Corinthians 4, Romans 8, and other passages. I think that might even be a different one. But notice that this is a theme that's repeated multiple times in the text.

The idea that we suffer now, we have glory. or later. Of 1. Peter, Jesus suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves for the same purpose. And just to reiterate, this doesn't mean you're not going to feel sad. And by the way, Jesus did weep at the tomb. That's right. Even Jesus was feeling grief, even though he knew for an absolute fact that it was for Lazarus' good and God's glory. So it's nothing wrong with feeling sad.

I don't think that is sinful at all. All right, Greg, let's go to a question from Bill. So we should develop a personal relationship with a God who hasn't actually spoken in over 2,000 years. What kind of God would be that way? Would be easier to have a relationship with a rock? It's so odd. I mean, that's my first response. That's so odd.

It would easier, a rock has never spoken and a rock is not a person. We can go to, let's just say letters. Now, most people nowadays are not going to relate. to this so much. But let's just take the Second World War. When soldiers went off to the war, they didn't go off for six months, nine months, for a year. They went off for the duration. They were gone until the war was over. That's how long they were gone unless they got hurt. So how did they stay in touch with families? They wrote letters. They didn't have cell phones. They wrote letters. And when the letters came back home from the soldiers on the feet,

old two loved ones. In many cases, those loved ones saved the letters, and they read the letters over and over again. By the way, when I was in the Army in 1969, it was when I had basic training, my sweetheart was taking a tour around the world, you know, while I'm, you know, in basic training, but she would send these letters from different ports, and I would read those letters over and over and over it. It wasn't as if the letters were somehow cold and meaningless because they had been written prior or that I had read them before. They were still a current expression of my sweetheart's affection for me. And that meant something every single time I read them. Now, in a certain sense, someone might say, well, that was contemporaneous. That was contemporaneous.

was current. I don't know that that's true, but I don't know that's relevant to my point, because the love that God has for us and the purposes that he has that we need to understand so we live properly are so contemporaneous. God is still there, and his purposes haven't changed. It's just that all of the love letters were written down a long time ago, but it doesn't change the significance and the weight and the gravity of those things for us. And I know that, at personally, because when I read scripture, I'm not reading something from a rock. Even if it was on a rock, I know it's a personal communication for me, and it has a subjective impact on my life because I know these are living words spoken from a living God.

Maybe a long time ago, but they still apply now, just like those letters from the front. maybe two years old, maybe in the case of a soldier, the sweetheart or wife left at home getting the letters and rereading the letters doesn't even know if her sweetheart is still alive, but she's still drawing from the emotional significance of those letters. So this, when you read the piece, I made a little, what did I say, oh my, or whatever I said. never know. But it was like, oh, that's odd. That's so odd.

It's clear that this, well, I was going to say, this person has never been in love at a distance and had to communicate at a distance in a written way. Anybody who has been understands that this isn't like communicating with a rock. And even though we've moved out of a period of our history and civilization, whatever, where letter writing and saving is not. so significant. Still, we do it digitally to some degree, and then we go back on those digital things.

You know, when I'm out of town a bit, and so I'll get a note like a text for my wife, miss you, darling, heart, heart. Well, you know how those comes up a notification on your phone. Sometimes I don't want to open the phone because the notification will go away. And the message is still there,

but the notification goes away if I open the text. I want to just turn my phone on see it sitting there, okay, because it touches my heart. I'll even take maybe a screenshot of it, so I'm saving it. Same idea. And affection is being expressed by somebody far away, and it's expressed in a written form that I can enjoy over and over because I know the attitude that is being expressed is still current. And that's the case with scripture, regardless if it's been 2,000 years since the last love letter has been written. I don't know if I can add anything to that. It does, it does perplex me somewhat. When I hear something like this, it sounds to me like they don't appreciate the word of God the way they should. To them, it's not exciting. It's not meaningful. But the truth is, if God has given us everything we need to know about himself, if His Holy Spirit is worth.

working through it as we read it, applying it to our lives, changing our hearts, I don't, I don't understand thinking like that's second best. So maybe it would be better to concentrate on reading more of the Bible and seeing what God does through that, how he communicates his presence and his love and changes you and shapes your mind. All of these things happen as we read the Bible. And if you're only looking for some sort of a special thing, in addition, some sort of experience, you're going to miss out on everything he will do through the means that he has already given us. Don't miss out on that. All right, Greg, we're at a time.

Thank you, Bill and James. And, Bill, I hope that does inspire you to put more time into the Bible, not to get something in addition to it, but to let God use it in your life and inspire you through it and move you through it and on all the things that he does through his word. I just hope that inspires you to go there first rather than either try to use it to get a special message or forget about it and try other means to get a special message. I don't think that's the way to go. All right, that's two endings. Now I really haven't. All right. Thank you. Thank you, James and Bill. We'd love to hear from you. Send us your question on X with the hashtag STR Ask. This is Amy Hall and Greg Coco for Stand to Reason.