Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 017 - Passive Patty Can't Stop Banging Her Ex

Episode Date: April 6, 2014

Passive Patty's ex dumped her for the woman he was cheating on her with about a year ago but she's still givnig him head whenever he wants it. They meet up mostly in cars and even though she knows it's wrong, she can't stop. Will she stop, can she stop, listen in for all the details.   **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous, you're on.

Listening to Kathy and Tommy. And Tommy, how are you? Welcome to Strictly Anonymous. I want to thank the people first who are sending an e-mails. We really appreciate them. I love them, actually. The comments. Everything helps the show get better.

It's also just interesting to me to chat with people that are listening to our show. Yeah, totally. Once again, our email, if you want to send us, us a note be on the show talk about something brave rant whatever you want to do it's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail dot com that's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail dot com you can follow us on twitter and facebook at strictly anonymous um and we we just love the feedback and also when you do subscribe to us and download us on iTunes we would greatly appreciate you writing a nice review

and your thoughts about the podcast the more feedback we get the better we can make this show you know without us without you there'd be no us right is that how it goes yeah that's very sweet of you to say thank you see I'm awake today

kind of I am I'm a little bit more awake the other last one you were like in your head about something and I felt like maybe you needed to call into the show I almost did yeah like you had something going on I could tell when you're in your head. You're a Scorpio.

You're in your head about things, I could tell. I'm a planner. I'm a thinker. Yeah, but I'm a bad unpacker is what I am. Yeah, still haven't unpacked, have you? No, I'm going to be very honest. But I want to, like, this is my problem. But I think that everyone has secret problems, like weirdo things that they do,

that probably they don't tell other people and they just don't understand it about themselves, but it's like they don't, it's like, and my weirdo problem is I can't unpack from a vacation. Like, I'm sure there's other people. Like, I have my, I know because the Malaysian airplane went missing the same day. God. It went missing the same day I flew back from Miami. I went to Miami for a couple of days. And the day I came back was the same day that Malaysian plane, you know, took off and never to be seen again.

And so my, my bag has been sitting there for as long as those people have been missing. I can fix your problem. You're going to do my laundry for me? No, I'm definitely not going to do your laundry for you. What's the solution? You come home. Yeah. Take out anything that's not clothing.

Shoes, toiletries, whatever. Oh, that's the annoying stuff. There's more of that than clothes. Just take your laundry bag. There's more bathing suits. Everything. Okay. Bathing suits, everything.

Just put it in the bag. Mm-hmm. And send the bag out to the laundry. Don't you do it. Just send it out. Oh, send it out. Now you're just left with the bag and non-clothing items. I did regular laundry today and I thought to do it, but I did it.

And then finally you'll just put the bag away and then the clothes will come back folded. Boom, you're done. I just wonder if my therapist would think it has something else to do with something else. Is it any deeper than I'm just lazy or is it I'm just lazy? I think you're just fucking lazy. Yeah, but what I want to know is what are other people's secret problems? Like what is your secret problem that you have? You know what I mean?

About my nails. That's not a secret interesting problem. Secret interesting problem. Like a weirdo thing that you don't know if anyone else does it. Like a lot of people bite their nails. I don't know if other people can't undo their laundry. And I'm trying not to do this anymore. Yeah.

I have to turn the water on faucet when I use the bathroom. When you shit? Both. When you pee too? Everything. When I walk into the bathroom, I close the door. I even do this in restaurants. Right.

You turn the bathroom. Yeah, that's something. When I was younger, if I was going number two, I would have to put a clean towel over my face and hold my ears. and I needed to smell like a clean towel. I think it's, I swear to God. That is much weeder than me just running the water. One day my sister was walking through the house, calling me.

And then she's like, where were you? I was calling you. I didn't know you were home. I was in the bathroom. She was like, why couldn't hear me? I'm like, oh, because I had the, I had the ear plugs in. Yeah, I had the, I had the towel over my face and I hold my ears. But it'd have to be a fluffy, nice, clean, fresh towel.

I'd have to smell the nice thing while I was going to. And I think. I think that that's like some sort of weirdo when you're being potty trained issue. So what's on what's in what's in store for today? Oh shit. I haven't even gotten to it. No. Oh God.

That's so bad. We have a girl calling in and she's called no name because we don't have a name for her. Did you come up with a name for her? I didn't. We're just going to call her blowjob Sally. Okay. Blow job Sally or blowjob Betty. B.B.

No, blowjob Sally. I'm sorry, it just came out. It sounds good. Blow job Sally. Okay. Okay. Do it. Blow job Sally.

I'm going to read you her email. Okay. So she says, help. I'm a 34 year old black female. I just got out of a six-year relationship with who I thought would be the one. He didn't come home one night and then he told me he found somebody else. He put me and my son out and immediately moved her and her kids in. He always told me he didn't like kids.

My main problem is that I'm still fucking him. Mostly I meet him when he gets off. of work and I give him head in his car or in various parking lots. I don't have a place of my own on 34 with a teenager and had to move in with my mom. I depend on him for everything. It's almost been a year since he put me out. I know it's wrong for me to still be talking to him, but I can't let go. I've tried to find people on various dating sites and even going out to bars but have had no luck. I've even pondered being with a woman. He's white, by the way. There's more that I can tell you. If interested in helping me or hearing me, you know, contact me. Could

think of a name i'm a black country girl in west virginia maybe you could help with that too so we're calling her blowjob sally and um blowjob sally is coming in because she calling in like she said she has an ex that threw her out and uh she still can't uh stop going back to him and she's rewarding him with blow jobs yeah just blow jobs i'm dying to know if she gets anything in return i know what this is all about i totally could relate um and so that's who's calling in today i she's a fan of the show. She obviously listens to the show because she emailed us at Shrudev's podcast, which I love. I love that we're having her girl call in because we rarely have girls. We've had three women. One was the girl that found us on Craigslist because her boyfriend

was cheating. I thought she was great. I loved her. The other two girls we got through Robert Kelly's show, and I think that they weren't as great because they weren't as honest because it wasn't totally anonymous. The thing about this show, why I think the calls are really good or the callers I particularly really like are the ones that call in that we don't know their names. Because I really feel like people are more honest that way. Absolutely. The girls that called in that they knew that we knew them through the Robert Kelly show. They're holding back.

Yeah, I don't think that they're being totally as honest as people that are calling anonymously like they do now, which I prefer because we get more of the truth. And then when you have the truth, it's more interesting. You can't make this shit up. So we'll be back on with Blow Job Sally. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name.

And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous Hello Hey, this is Kathy You're on the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with me and Tommy Hi, how are you?

Good, good, good So we came up with a name for you I don't know if you're going to like it We were true We called you blowjob Sally Do you hate that name? It's probably not fitting for me As long as you'll hear me talk

Please don't ask the web talk. Oh, I love the way you talk. Oh, true country girls. So why isn't Blowjob Sally an appropriate name for you? No, because I really don't think of myself as that freaky. Okay, so we'll come up with a different name for you and then we'll, you know, we won't use that in the title. Well, you know, that's what we thought we would call you, but now that we're going to talk to you and we get your story, we'll probably a different name will come out.

Okay, that's fine. Okay, so we read your email. I read your email to Tommy and to the listener. So why don't you explain, you know, your story? How long were you dating the guy again for six years? Well, this time it was six years. The first time I met him, I was 16. Okay. And we're about the same age.

It was a blind date. Met him. I'm black. I didn't know that he was white until I met him at the movie theater. Let's see. We're together for a while then, you know, during middle school. Part of Waze, got back to see. together maybe in 20th.

I had had a child and everything like that. So your kid isn't with him, right? Your son? No. Right. No. Okay. So did he go have children or was he married or anything in the time that you guys were

separated? No. How do you guys get back together? I just saw him somewhere. You know, I didn't have his number anymore. You know, I saw him somewhere. and, you know, things started from there. And he would come by my place, and me, and, you know, we'd have six a lot.

And you had good sex with him. You were totally attracted to him. And so you dated him and lived together with him, right? When you guys broke up, you were living with him, right? Yeah, this time. This happened about June. So how long were you living together with him? Six years.

So you were living together for six years. Right. And then how did it come about that? I know that you said in the email, like, he just, came home one day and said he had somebody else and moved you guys out and moved her in. Did you have any inkling that there was somebody out, like that he was cheating or that there was somebody else in the picture? Like what was going on with your relationship with him? No, nothing at all. I had no warning because, you know, he was a quiet type of person.

He didn't have many friends. He had one friend. When we moved in together, you know, I quit talking to my best friend, the only friend I had for him because he just wanted me under him all the time, 24-7. He, oh, he didn't want you to have friends? No, like, he didn't want anybody to come by or anything like that, so I just, you know, cut ties just to be with him. Okay, so you guys had a very intense relationship where you guys were always together. So when did he have time? If you guys had that kind of relationship, right, where he didn't have friends. I mean, he couldn't lie and say he's going out to meet a friend at a bar and then go meet her.

Like, when was he actually starting this other relationship with this girl? See, I'm still trying to figure that out. I've asked him several times. and I still don't know why or how, but he's a truck driver. So he goes long calls during the day, not overnight, you know, just, you know, long calls during the day. But he kept telling me he met her at work. And I'm like, you're just a truck driver. He has no contact with anybody whatsoever.

So I'm thinking that they have a dispatch. I guess they're a girl work for the dispatch. Oh. And I was all the drivers out at night. Uh-huh. And I think that's how they got together. Right. Because wherever she worked as a dispatch is probably where he drops his truck off and comes in and out, right?

Or picks it up or whatever. Right. He had no contact with you. He would just file the phone. And I'm a very heavy sleeper. So, I mean, he would probably be called late in the night or early in the morning. I would never know. He could be on the phone all night.

That's how I'm thinking it happened. Oh, shit. And then they met up. And he told you, like, when he came home, tell me about that day. So you had no clue. Like, that must have been the most messed up thing that ever happened to you. Like, totally the rug was. pulled from underneath you.

Like, you're thinking everything's great in your relationship. You guys had no problems? Yes. And he just... I mean, we had money issues. That's about it. But the running joke was with him, you would always tell me, you should do this, you should do that, or I'm going to call Ashley.

I mean, Ashley Madison, he would go check it out. Oh, the cheating website. Yeah. Yeah. I would never believe he would do something like that. Right. He would just make a joke out of it. Yeah, all the time.

but it cut the other thing back on it he kept getting more frequent you know towards the end do you think that he was cheating with other people too or do you think it was just

this one girl did he ever come clean that there were other people no I think it was just a one girl because he's really not that type that's why it was so shocking yeah that must be totally shocking because you completely trusted him

it wasn't like because I think a lot of times with guys that are like hardcore cheaters most of the women there's a lot of signs you know because that guy's got like a million girls and they're always on their phone and they're texting and they're sexting you know, but a guy like this that's like,

it wasn't even like he was cheating. I mean, he wound up like having a relationship with somebody else, and then he left you for her. That's even in a weird way more devastating. You know, it's just devastating. So he comes home one day, and what does he say to you? Well, he still didn't come home.

I was texting him all night and trying to call him until eventually, you know, knew the phone was all, because it was just ringing. Right. And the next morning, he probably called me, and he was just like, I fucked up.

No, he texted me. He said, I fucked up. And that was the only night he ever not, he just didn't come home, right? And that was the only night that ever happened? Only time, he had never done anything like that. So he texted you back, I fucked up. Yep, and that was it. I'm like, what do you mean?

He was like, I fucked up. I was with somebody. And he's telling you this via text? Mm-hmm. Oh, God. Oh, God. He said to talk to me. Refuse to talk to me.

So, okay, so then what do you say, back to him like where the hell are you? Yeah, I was like what are you? You know, come home now and you know he just kept on saying no he wouldn't come home. Okay. I found like bad thing. He family was like, well I'll just come home for a little bit

but it's not going to be no crazy stuff. Meaning like he doesn't want to have a big argument or a big discussion about it. Like that's like so typical, right? He just wants to have a clean break. He wants to do that like and then walk out of a six year relationship, no discussion. No strings. No nothing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's ridiculous. So he said up, so eventually he had to come home, right? And what happened when you confronted him? I'm not a bit confronter type. And anytime we would get into argument, you know, I would never take it there. You know, I would just shut down completely. Right. We would go for like two days without talking in the same house.

You know, we would just not argue at all because I didn't want to upset him. And he was in, and of course he loved that. I think so. But now I'm thinking no one in it. I think that's what he wanted me to do. What? I just couldn't. He wanted you to what?

To argue. When he came home that day, you know, I'm just like, why. You know, what you do? Where do you meet her? Who is it? He wouldn't tell me anything. He wouldn't say anything. Okay.

I mean, eventually you had to get some information out of it. When did he tell you he was leaving you for her? Or did you leave him? Okay, did you say, okay, screw you, you cheated on me, I'm out of here. Like, what was he? that argument like? It was no argument. You know, that's the shame.

That's how we were. I just wouldn't do it. Oh, even at that point, you didn't argue with him about him. You know, I just, I tried to get something out of him. He just wouldn't say anything. Okay, so then you went about your normal day or how long did you guys last in the same house after that scenario, after that incident? He took the shower, you know, after he took the shower, he left.

Uh-huh. He came home maybe later that and not. And, you know, the only thing I could do is, you know, I tried to have sex with him. And we did. It wasn't good. He was not into it at all. He wasn't into it. He wasn't.

But you were. Yes. I tried to put it on in my heart. It's going to get nowhere. Let me ask you this. So you know that your guy totally just fucked another girl, right? Behind your back. You had this monogamous six-year.

relationship. You're obviously monogamous, right? You've never been with anybody else. So why do you think you were like sexually attracted to him that night? I just tried to change his mind. Right. I think that was a big issue with us. Like he wanted sex a whole lot and I guess I wasn't giving it to him. Right. So you almost felt like guilty. Like maybe that's why he had done it. So like you weren't giving him good enough sex. So maybe if you gave that to him, that would be enough. I totally get that mentality And I understand a man can be a man You know

You can go out there and just be honest with me But you know still come home You know not do it all the time But I understand maybe we're going through some things Getting some time apart Right you were willing to accept the fact That he had sex with a girl behind your back But to me what's more devastating is that

Then he eventually has a relationship with this girl Right does he eventually leave you for this girl because you didn't walk out on him after that, right? Yeah, it was about a week later. Yeah. He came home from work. Everything was sort of okay, you know. Everything was okay.

It was pouring, rain, and I never forget. He was just like, you know, I think we need to break. Oh, God. What do you mean? Yeah. That's what you mean. He's like, we just need a break, you know. He needs a break and, you know, see what happens.

And because I didn't want to argue with him, I was just like, okay. And he took him to my mom's. he took you to your mom's right with your right with your child and then when was the next time you heard from him the next day we would text each other like we always do you know while I was at work he would text me not say much but he still refused to talk to me and why did you have to go to your moms was this his apartment that you had moved in or his house that you had moved into well the house was in his I mean we were renting it um the house is in his name all the bills were in his name name, you know, he would pay everything.

I paid all utilities, cable, all the bills. He would pay everything else, like groceries, you know. Right. Okay, so you go to his mom's house. So how long did this break last? Like, how long did it last that it was just a break? About a week, because I kept on trying to talk to him, trying to get him to say something to me, you know.

Meaning, like, explain the situation? Right. And, of course, he still wouldn't talk to me. and um finally one night I was at a bar I was just like you know come and get me that's what well you can't stay you were at the bar drunk probably

yeah I had a couple drinks uh-huh and you're like come get me and he said okay but you can't stay yes oh god is it because that girl was staying there yeah he came he comes to get me after you know it took some coaxing out of him you know I really it was like I was begging

you know to get together all this time and I have to beg for you to come and get me. Oh my God. It's like he's only making you go lower and lower and lower. Yeah, it's pretty, it's hard. That's hardcore. Because now, like, so a guy cheated on you. You're still having sex with him. Like, you're begging him for information. Now you're begging for him to come pick you up. Listen, we've all been there, though.

Like, anybody could get sucked into that world. But it's so damaging to your self-esteem because you're just like, you know, you're just lowering yourself, you know, just to sort of figure things out. So anyway, so, yeah. But he's all I had. I had no friend. He's all I had. No, like I said, I totally understand.

And so many women have been in this position. So it's like you had no other choice. Right. You're trying to make it work with him. So you had sex that night. Yep. And again, it was like he wasn't there, you know, with me. Mm-hmm.

I did what I, you know, did what I had to do. And he took me home the next morning. to my mom's. Okay, so you stayed over that night. He did let you stay over. Okay. And I still have all my stuff there. Your stuff is still at a place.

How long has this been going? So, okay, when did it turn out that, like, he said, oh, I'm moving her in? Like, when did you realize that this break was permanent? When I went back to get my stuff, just the way he looked at me, you know, I was, like, I sit down and talk. He just looked at me like he totally hated me,

and I just completely shut down once again. and I just I got all my stuff out and left it. So this point, I didn't know if he would still talking to this girl or not. Uh-huh. You know. Well, it's obvious that he was, because if he wasn't, he would have kept you there. Right, exactly. So I got all my stuff out.

And maybe a couple weeks later, you know, didn't talk to him a couple weeks later. And I hear that he's moved in with this, he's moved this girl in with her two kids. because one of her kids goes to school with my kids. Oh, God. Oh, man. Yeah. So did you text him or call him out on it and say, what the hell, like what's going on or anything like that?

And did he explain himself then? Well, just let it go. I mean, oh, my God. We need a new name for him. I knew there was something I can do. I need a name for you. You're totally not blowjob, Sally. Yeah, your passive Patty.

Yeah, your passive Patty. Okay. Okay, listen. Yeah, you, I want to shake you. Like, I want to get that. I want to, I want to awaken a part of you to, like, speak up for yourself because it's like, it's just like you're letting all this stuff happen to you. Like you said, I mean, you know, you know it yourself. You just shut down. It's all you know what to do. That's how you handle sort of very stressful situations. And listen, I don't think that if you made a big stink or spoke up or that anything would have been any different. Okay. I think that this guy You know That's this girl Had his mindset

Where he's going Yeah and you don't even know that it's going to work out with her What's going to happen I've heard a lot of situations Where guys with the woman for a long time He takes a quote unquote break Meet somebody else Is with that person for a while

Eventually this girl How long has he been with her? This happened in June Of last year Of last year yes So it's almost a year Right So, okay, let me continue on with the story.

I'm sorry. Yeah, no, no, go on. Okay. This happened in June. It was August 1st is his birthday. Okay. So I sent him a birthday present through the meal. Uh-huh.

I don't know. So he texted me. He was like, did you send me something? I was like, yeah. So we started chatting after that, you know, just kind of friendly or whatever. So I decided, you know, just to try to play with him, see where it would go. So I'd start sending him dirty texts and things like that.

Dirty text. Right, right. You were like sexting with him. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. And one night, he started in on me. He was like, you know, send me pictures, send me videos, stuff like that. So I was like, okay, I'll go ahead and play along. I didn't ask where she was. I knew she had to be there, but I didn't ask. Right. So we're texting back and forth, you know, I'm sending him pictures. I asked him to send me one. He just disregards.

He wouldn't send me anything, but I was sending him all kinds of stuff. Okay. And then family was going strong, you know, then family I get a text talking about, he's sleep. I'm like, what? He's what? That's what the text said. The last text I got from him that night. Oh, he's asleep, meaning it came from her?

Well, that's what I thought. Okay. So I kept texting back and calling and everything, and I didn't get any response whatsoever. So in my mind, I'm thinking that they were both in on this the whole time trying to play a game on me. Oh, shit. So I was like, oh, hell no. So I'd run my car. I run to the house and I had an umbrella in my car.

I picked the umbrella out. This is getting interesting. I'd be on the back window because I know where every room is, you know, because I live there. I'd be on the window and I had him come out and he comes down. He's like, what the hell are you doing? Wait, you took the umbrella and you're bashing the umbrella into the windows to get like to wake them up? Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God, that's awesome. Now you're, now you're waking up. Okay, so he comes out, and what do you say to him? Um, please are you, you know, he's asking what I'm doing? I'm like, you know, what was that all about? You know, I've been calling and texting, you know, are y'all playing some game on me? Like, where are you talking about? I'm like, see, sleep, what is that supposed to mean?

Like, they're all running game on me. You know, I sent you all this stuff, and automatically there's nothing. And she comes outside. I had never seen her before. Oh, was she black or white? She's mixed. Okay. Was she younger than you, older than you?

Now that I know she's younger than me. Okay. You're 34. How old is she? She's about 28, 29, something like that. And your guy's around your age, right? You said he's your age? Yeah, he's 34.

Okay. So she comes out and now what happens? So I was expecting for a fight. I was ready, you know. But she just standing behind him. Yeah. She's just standing behind him. I'm like how long it's been going on, you know.

I just wanted to get some answers out of the whole situation. Right, maybe because she's there. She'll tell you. Did she tell you anything? No. She said she had, they've been talking for a while. I'm like, really? You know, I had no idea.

Let me ask you this. Passive Patty. That's what we are going to call you. Did she know about you? Yes, she had to. How do you know? Did you know, did she say, like, did he tell her that he was in a relationship? Was she talking to him and, you know, while he, knowing that he was in a relationship?

Yeah, she knew. She did? Okay, so she said we've been talking for a while before it happened, right? Right. What other information did you get from him that night? That she had 14. Oh, God. And they're all living there? And he never liked kids. You know, he barely liked his own, which his son was living with us, too.

Right. Yeah, he barely liked his own. Oh, God. He sounds like a real winner. I'm like, wow, that shocked me the most. So really, after that, nothing really came with that. You know, you have a little bit, you know. Okay. And that's about it.

That's the story? At the end, I thank him for Saturday because, I'm sorry, I'm backtracking. I had told him, thanks for Saturday, and that's all I said. Right, because you guys had pulled around on Saturday or something? That Saturday before I had met him, I got a room, and he came through and, you know, we did our thing. A hotel room? That's all I said, thanks for Saturday. I didn't say anything at all.

Right, but that's because you guys did have sex. Saturday before. So you threw that in her face. Sort of, but not really. You see, I didn't say exactly what happened. Oh, but come on. You know a woman. Yeah, but you know a woman when she hears thanks for Saturday. You planted a seed to, you know, okay, so then you left. Yeah, and it was it. And so I just didn't expect to hear from him at all, at all. So I think maybe the next day I'm at work. I got a text for him. He was like, what was that all about? ever since then we've been texting.

And how long ago was that incident? Happened in August. Of last year. So since last August, we're now in April, you know, of the next year. So since last August, you guys have been texting and also meeting up, and you guys are having sex still and fooling around, right, this whole time while he's been with her. Yep. Right.

Most of the time, we've just been meeting up, like, because, like I said, I live with my mom. so he can't come over and he doesn't have the time to stay out very long. So I just decided to meeting places and I get him paid in his car. Does he do anything for you? Like are you getting off on those occasions? So what's with the blow jobs? Like I'm always like I get like I love to give blow jobs, but I need, I'm very not selfish. I think it's only fair that if you're doing that you should get something back.

Okay. What are you getting out of that situation? because you have to be getting something, right? If you're just giving him head and he's not fingering you or going down on you, like you're not getting off at all in that scenario. What is that head about for you? He touches me sometimes. He usually says, you know, he feels bad.

You know, he wish you could do stuff for me. But why doesn't he? It's not necessary. I think I just like having him around, you know. Right, that's what I'm saying. That's what you want the companionship. So you're blowing him for that, right? Yes.

Yeah, and I think a lot of women do that, unfortunately. unfortunately. I know that in my younger years I used to do that. So you're giving him head and you're fine with that just so that you could like not sort of cut that cord and really end that relationship. Right? Yeah. Yes. And what does he tell you like when you guys hang out and you're meeting in these situations or do you guys talk? Like do you talk about his relationship with that girl? Do you know what's going on there? Or do you just like sort of meet up and do your thing and then split? Around that time we used to talk about it. But I, you know, we don't talk. talk about it at all anymore. And we both, on several occasions, try to end it, you know, break it to me more than him. Uh-huh. Like, I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

You know, it's not good emotionally or mentally for me. You know, I have to let it out. I can't do this anymore. Right. You know, because of person was just because I was trying to get him back. Of course. And now I'm just going, I know it's not going to happen, but. You're not going to get him.

The unfortunate thing is that you would more likely get him back when you completely disappear from his life. Like, I'm going to tell you. The only chance you have to get him back seriously is, and the only way you're going to know is when you completely disappear. That's what I was going to say. I usually give advice to people on how to play the game. But my advice to you...

No, but that is a game. Yeah, but my advice to you is to do the first step of playing the game, but do it for real. This guy, you don't want this person in your life. I wouldn't, I would just would... And it's the hardest thing. I mean, Kathy's going to tell you. It's the hardest thing in the world that you're going to have to shut it down, erase the phone number, don't accept calls, don't make any contact.

And you just, you got to basically, and it's going to suck and it's going to hurt and you're going to feel lonely. But you have to take that step and say, you know what? It's over. It's done. You have to do that in your own mind. Erase everything. And you got to go out and start living your life and find somebody that wants to be with you for you, not someone that you have to walk. around on eggshells, someone that you have to do sexual favors with.

No, so in that, listen, the fact that he's totally cheating on this woman in cars with you, but I'm just going to tell you, he probably was cheating on you, too. Like, I have to say, like, do you know what I mean? It shows his character, right? Like, and he, and so you don't know how many other women there were before. I know that you know this, right? Like, you know you have to end it with him, right? I'm telling you it was none

No What? I don't think before this girl I don't think there was anybody else That you ever cared about Hmm What do you mean there was nobody else besides this girl Oh you don't think that there was any women

I was chronic cheater Yeah I think this was it Oh you're okay So but he's then he's But he's in a relationship with this woman But he is chronically cheating on her Which

I asked him. Doesn't make him a great guy. No. I asked him, I was like, why do you do this? You know? He just says it'll just complicate things. What do you mean it'll just complicate? You say, why do you do this meaning?

Why do you have sex with me? He says it'll just complicate things. That doesn't even make sense. Right. For answering it, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, he doesn't want to answer it. It doesn't want to get into the discussion.

Right, because you know what it is. You know what it is, Patty? Let's just call her Patty. Listen, Patty, what it is is that he doesn't want to let go of you either. He's having his cake and eating it too, and so are you. Like, neither one of you is dealing with the breakup. You both loved each other. Even though he met somebody else, it's like when one dog dies, you buy another,

you get another one like, and you never forget the one before. Like, he still cared about you. He met this woman. You've actually made his landing. Like, it's like you've actually helped him progress in his relationship with her because you are giving him like a little bit of you as he, goes along and falls for this other person. Do you know what I mean? He's doing

what you're doing. He's not letting go. And why he doesn't want to explain to you because it would complicate things because he's coming back to you still because he still cares about you, but he also cares about somebody else. And that person is living in the house with him. That's his primary relationship. I really believe

the, I've heard of stories like this where people that were together a very long time break up, the guy cheats he meets somebody else and then that situation doesn't last and then they eventually get back together. That could happen. You don't know. Okay, but the only way you're ever going to know if that is going to happen is when you completely cut it off from him. And there's only two things that could happen either. After some time, he needs to like feel the loss of you to really feel the feelings.

Right now you're not letting him feel that because you don't want to feel what it feels like to have the loss of him because that's the worst feeling. Do you know what I mean? It's totally abandonment. It's totally. It's, yeah, I can't get over a guy. I've been with six. months you were with this guy for six years you lived with him like it's very hard that's what you're avoiding that massive pain of like really like ending things with him but you don't know that if you eventually get to that place you know that eventually when he doesn't hear from you and you really cut it off he's going to have to deal with those same feelings he's not a fucking not non-human being he has feelings too that's why he still sees you so he's going to suffer as well

you're going to do more damage like you know you're going to make him feel more like you know how you think with this blowjobs you're getting him back you're you're getting him back more by not you would be able to get him back more by not seeing him there's more power in you walking away than in those blow jobs you give him i swear to you it's the only thing you have left it's your last card to play and you got to play it and see what happens and if he doesn't come back he doesn't come back and you're you will meet somebody else you're gonna meet somebody out you yeah for sure You sound amazing. I was just booked him this Saturday. I don't think I'll meet him this Saturday. You were just what? With him this Saturday? I know you're with him all the time. We know that.

But it was the first time I actually had him in the bed and not a car. Oh, my God. Patty. So many guys would love to date you because you're so, you're like really easy girl. Not easy meaning easy sleazy. I mean like easy, like you're so passive. You don't, you know, you're not a pain in the ass. Yeah, there's no drama.

I'm very good. Yeah, you're a great catch for a guy. The main reason I hang on to him, too, is because I'm not a very, really sexual person. I haven't been with that many people. You know, I started having sex when I was 13, and I was 22 when I had my first orgasm by him. Right. So no guy, no other man has ever given you an orgasm, right? Right.

You need to experience that. There is another guy I swear to you that could give you an orgasm. It's hard. Listen, I'm not going to tell you that you're going to go out tomorrow and meet like the next guy you meet is going to be the one. It's hard to meet someone. That's why when you meet them, you stick with them for six years and you're still blowing them in cars and you don't want to let go because we all know that it's hard to find that person that you just all the stars align and you. You know what I mean? You like them.

They like you. And there's a lot of things that have to take place to make a relationship happen. And last, especially in these, this time of day. You know, things are very different now than when you first started dating this guy six years ago, right? So you're like out in this new dating world and everything's so bizarre with online dating and everything. So I get why you'd want to hold on to the past and not move to the future because it's a lot more, you know, scary. That's the unknown. Of course you don't think you're going to be another guy because there is no other guy yet.

But most likely you will. There's millions of people in this world. Everyone meets somebody else eventually. but you'll never meet them while you're holding on to this guy. What do you want, actually? Like, you called into the show, you sent me an email. Like, what is it that you want, even if it's just a little part of you? Like, you're obviously conflicted, right?

There's a part of you that knows what you're doing isn't right, and it doesn't feel good. And there's a part of you that can't let go of him. But, like, what is it that you want? You want him back? Somebody tell me that I needed to let go. Yeah, you do need to let go. You know it. This guy is no good for you.

No, you don't know that, Tommy. I mean, come on. No, she's no good for her right now. Right now. There is a chance. We do not know. Right now. But I'm speaking in the present terms.

In this situation, the way that the relationship is. Right now. He is not good for you right now. No, because what you're doing basically is having a booty call relationship with a guy that has a relationship with someone else that you really care about. Right. And that's toxic. Well, it's bad for your self-esteem because it just makes you feel unworth, like what you're feeling all the time is like unworthy and you're constantly being abandoned because he's always

leaving you to go back to somebody else i've been there most women have been in your situation probably not in such harsh terms because this is someone you've been with for six years you know all of that you know makes it even more complicated right but you know i've i've been in this situation and it is really hard but you know that you need to let go you have to and the only thing i could tell you that I feel like would maybe help give you the motivation to do it is that you could maybe, you know, six months from now, eight months now, you know, get a very different sort of reaction from him. Right now he's not going to be begging for you back because he basically has you. I'm telling you he has his cake and eat it too.

He has that woman there and he still has contact with you. You have to abandon him just like, you know, and he's going to start to feel feelings. And like if he really thinks you're the one and he wants to come back to you, that's when he will. He will not do it while you're meeting with him. So if that motivates you to do it because it's like, oh, you know, I leave him and maybe he'll come back to me. Like that's the hope that you have. That's the only hope you have in this situation. If you don't do that, you'll never get him back.

You're not going to get him back by allowing him to be with somebody else and still give him what he wants from you. Right. That's never going to happen. You have to like, yeah, you have to like, does he live, like, really close to you and everything? Yeah, pretty close. So it's like, I mean, you guys don't have, have you been back in touch? And so it's almost been like a year that you guys have been separated. Have you, like, rekindled any friendships?

Have you started, like, a life outside of him? No. I've tried. I mean, like I said, I go to the bar all the time. But the only people I meet are either really young guys or really creepy. Oh, God. Right, but what about women friends? What about women friends?

What about your old girlfriends? Like you said, you gave up your friends for him. Do you have any friends, like old friends, that you could call up and start hanging out with? I have one, and I hang out with her, you know, off and on. But she has four kids, so she doesn't really have that much time. Okay. That's all I have.

Right. So you need to start establishing. And when you say he's all you have, it's like he's not fun. financially taking care of you anymore, right? You're living at your moms, right? Right. So basically when you say that's all, he's all you have, it's just really all you have emotionally, right? Yes. You don't need him for anything else. Yeah. It's like their friend, you know, like we text, you know, why he's at work and it's just stuff that's going on, you know, just friendly stuff. Like he has the best of both worlds. Like he has his girl that he wants.

but then he still has his, you know, best friend. And you're doing kind of the same thing, but you're getting, you have less than him. You're, you know what I mean? You have less than him. You're getting something out of this too. Okay, you're not a victim, and you know that, right? This is your choice.

It's a common choice. Yeah, this is your choice. You're not a victim. You're doing this yourself because you're getting, and that's what you need, and I think you're honest about that. Like, you know, you know that you're making these choices. and because you're getting something out of it too.

You're getting to avoid the truth of the situation, which is that you guys broke up a long time ago. You don't have the same situation. You know, like, and that's a harsh thing to have to face. And it's what you're avoiding. And you're getting the companionship from him, and you're just holding on. And he's giving you that as well.

You're both giving that to each other. But you're in the worst position because you don't have somebody else. you go home to your mom's house he goes home to another woman and that is all you know that whole relationship is a whole other thing you have to just cut him off like a bad habit like I quit smoking 15 years ago like it I just stopped smoking one day and just that's it like you have to summon up the will it's all willpower it's going to take it's like you against you do you know what I mean because there's going to be that part of you that wants to see him is not going to go away tomorrow no

matter what I say, like, that's still going to be there, but you're going to have to, like, just not listen to that part of you. Do you understand? And that's really, I have intense willpower. I've quit many things. Anybody that knows me is like, I'm fucking vicious and powerful like that. And the way that I do it is just by mind-fucking myself. It really becomes like a battle between you against yourself, right? Because there's going to be that part of you that wants to see him, that wants to, that companionship. You'll feel it as sexual attraction with him, you know, and you're going to have to have another part of you that's like go fuck yourself like we're not doing this do you know what I mean and you have to deny

yourself what you want and that's like one of the hardest things to do but that's the way you break addictions and right now like you're just addicted to him like you can't get you can't cut that thing and you have to it just has to be like that kind of way you have to go against yourself you have to get and it's going to take intense willpower on your part do you have that I'm pretty weak person you're not weak No, you're not weak. I think everybody's strong. You're not weak.

You just, you don't tap into that enough. Like, you know, you're very, you're passive and you're, you're, you seem really nice. Like, you know, you got a good vibe about you. And I know everything that's going on, you know. What? I just succeed. I choose to accept what, what's given to me.

You know, I need somebody to, I don't know, tell me what to do. Well, do, why don't you go to a therapist? Have you ever seen a therapist? Are you an anti? Are you one of those as anti-therapy? No, I did once. It didn't last very long. Okay, listen, there's a thousand therapists.

Sometimes you have to go to six before you find one you like. You know how many therapists I've walked out of in the first 20 minutes because they were just retarded? A lot of therapists out there are more fucked up than you are. You know what I mean? Like a lot of them are nuts. Actually, the majority of them are nuts. It's very hard to find a good one. But you'll know a good one when you meet one.

And you'll know the first time. It's like a guy, like I swear to you, you know. And sometimes it takes like fishing around. If you find the right one, they could really empower you and motivate you and just to keep you on track. Like this conversation that we're having right now with you is like great for you, right? It's giving you a little bit of that motivation that you need. But you need this like on a weekly basis. Do you know what I mean?

Because what happens is if you don't talk to us at a week, like you'll go back to your old ways. So like that's what's great about therapy. It's like that it's like why people go to church. You know, it's that once a week place to check in and stay on that same, you know, path. Yeah. So, you know, if you don't have friends, I mean, friends are really great. You know, women, we need to talk to people about things, you know. I know for me, I don't drink anymore.

I don't do anything. So when I have a problem or I need to deal with it, the only thing I have to do is I talk. I call up my friends or I call it my sister. I'm really close with her. And I talk about it. And most of the time that helps me not act out, right? You know? So you need to stop acting on your feelings and you have to start maybe talking about.

them with somebody else because you have to work through your breakup with him you have to face it and deal with it that's what i feel like i am to him because he you know what you are to him what like his therapist because he's been you know telling me not stuff about her but you know other personal problems he's been going through of course you're hit you're a lot more than his therapist you're still like his part-time girlfriend you're giving him a lot but what you're not doing is you're not giving yourself anything. You have to stop thinking about him and think about yourself. It's a little codependency stuff.

You know what I mean? Like you're a little codependency stuff. You're all about like him and doing for him. And that's a way of avoiding your own needs. And you're just probably deeply unhappy. Because you're not taking care of you. There's parts of you that need things. You need therapy. You need somebody helping you. Yet you're doing this all this for him.

You need to do stuff for you. You know, and your first step was, I give you credit for writing us and calling in You know, I think that that's great because you obviously, some part of you is looking for a way out of that situation, right? You knew we were going to tell you, oh, yeah, keep blowing them. Yeah. I heard you off on Bobby's podcast. That's why I heard of the podcast. All right.

So can you go to therapy or something? Yes. Like, seriously. And like I said, it takes a while to meet the right one. Don't feel bad to go to one and check them out and then they suck. and never see them again and go to another one until you meet one that is really good and really smart and is on your same page or is going to you know is the right person for you know it normally takes a couple times i'll try yeah i will let go you what i said i will let go of him yes yeah you have to

do cold turkey yeah you got to do it yeah cold turkey it's almost getting you or so yeah it's got They call it NC, no contact. It has to be absolutely no contact. No text or nothing. You need to just tell him, listen, I need to get over this once and for all. Please don't text me. Please don't call me. I won't be.

We just, we really need a break for real, you know what I mean? I'll let you know and I'll contact you when I'm ready to talk to you again. Yeah, but let him know that this situation and this, all these circumstances don't work well or okay for you. You know what I mean? You've got to put yourself forward. And, you know, you've got to explain to him that, you know, you've got to explain to him that, you know it's not this situation isn't working this situation is not working for you and it's working for him yeah you got to put yourself first and you know what's going to make you feel good is once you cut him off

he'll text you here and there but that isn't your cue to call him like take that for your ego and make and make yourself that'll make you feel good that you knew that he actually really did care about you but don't run back to him at those times you know what I mean you still need to stand firm even when that happens because that most likely will happen. Do you understand? Right. I've been through all that before. Right.

You can't go back to that. But what you could do is keep that to motivate you to keep walking away that at least you know this way. And that sense, at least you're more on the same pages. Like, I don't know, you're not beneath him anymore. You know what I mean? He's thinking about you. He's chasing after you a little bit. It's not like you're blowing him in a car just to get, you know, some companionship for him.

You'd rather be that woman who's ignoring a God. and he's chasing after saying, I miss you, babe. You know what I mean? Walk out that way. That's like with your head up high. Do you understand? Mm-hmm. Okay.

So we need you to keep us posted and keep, and, you know, if you want to call, but we have people, I don't know if you listen to our podcast, but we have people that call in all the time. Like, we start to get people. And it's really interesting that way, I think, because people see different sides of people. So, you know, we would talk to you again when, and, you know, let us know what happens.

Try the no contact. Why don't you do this? Try the no contact for a month. Can you do it for a month and then call back in and tell us what happened? What I was trying to do. We're trying to find somebody, you know, to get over. And then I would stop talking to him, but it's not working. Yeah, and a lot of times when you do that, it doesn't work.

A lot of times when you do that, it doesn't work, unfortunately. You're going to meet a guy. You're a relationship gal. Like, you had a six-year-old. You're literally the minute you let go of this one, You're going to find another one. There are people like you are just so you're a long-term relationship person. You're not going to be dating a million guys.

It's not your style. I could just tell. You just need to make room for that. Once you do, you'll meet somebody else and be in a long-term relationship. But that's just what, it's the energy that you swirl. That'll come into your life. So don't worry about meeting somebody else. Do this for you now and do it for us.

And you have a month. Okay? Okay. Pass a Patty. You have one month. And in that month, I would hope that you find a therapist because that'll help your month. Okay. You have to do it regardless because we're telling you too.

But like in that month, try and find yourself a therapist and get somebody to talk to on a weekly basis that could help you. And then call us back or email me and we'll set up another call and we'll see what happened in that month. Okay. All right. All right. Okay. Good luck with everything. Well, thank you so much.

You're welcome. Good luck. Keep us posted. Bye. Thanks. Tell me you had nothing to say on that call. I kind of let you go on that, you know? Yeah, you don't have anything.

No, but what am I going to say? Like I usually get, like I said to her, I usually give advice on how to play the game, but I don't think she should play the game. My advice was to just get away from him. And we, I know, and you know, breakups are the hardest thing. They are. It's the worst feeling. It's, you know, you feel like you're going to die.

You can't eat. You can't sleep. You're always thinking about it. And six years living with the person, I mean, it's going to be tough. And she's not, you know, she doesn't have that drive to want to do this. No, it's not drive. She's living in denial. That's not having drive.

So, yeah. Right. She needs the will. It is, you just got to summon up willpower. Like I said, when I said, it's like you against you. Like, I should be like one of those motivational people because I have that. I know how to tap into that in myself and that's helped me so many times in my life. And that's what, and everybody has that.

Everyone has that part of it. It's like, it's really you. It's like you have that stress. She says she's weak. Nobody is just weak. Everyone is a weak sign and they have a strong side. You know what I mean? It's just a matter of like tapping into it.

She just hasn't used that part of herself. It seems like in so long, you know, that she doesn't even know it exists in her. You know what's going to happen though if she does stick to her guns. He's going to be begging for her. He's going to be begging me. You know, he still has another girl. I really do. I've heard the story telling me before.

He could actually wind up leaving that one. To go back to her. To go back to her. They could wind up together forever. You don't know. You don't know. It's not like they've been together two years. They've been together six years.

You know, they were, she doesn't think he cheated. I believe her. Right? Yeah. Do you? I believe that. I mean, I believe that she thinks that. But do you believe that he never cheated?

You know. Who knows? Who knows? You know, once you say, you know, someone, And they're always, it's not like they just started cheating. Well, no, maybe. Because he wasn't like cheating. He actually started to have a relationship with her.

That's possible, yeah. I get him. There's different levels of cheating anyway. But what I'm saying is that I think that you don't know he could come back. But that will take time. You know, and she has stick to her gun. And yeah, she's got to stick to a good. If he doesn't come back, she'll be over him.

That's the good news. That's the way I look at it. It's like you let go have a guy and you can either, either they're going to come. back and they're going to say hey babe I miss you and I want you back and then you'll know that they really cared about you or by the time that they don't you're over them you're well past that

the worst part which is the beginning where you're like whatever you know so it's a win win for her it's not going to feel that way it's the only when she has left I told you like when I said it's your only it's her last card it's her last card totally that's it because there's blow jobs in the car for companionship

it's like it's all making her look so pathetic I feel bad for her and she knows it she's cool i liked her yeah i hope she finds a good therapist and uh i can't wait to see if she really actually didn't talk to him for a month that's a long time this i'm gonna be this is gonna be a good show follow up do you think she'll do it by the sound of her right now on the call i don't think she can do it i hope she does i believe that everybody can i hope she does too i just by the way she sounded i don't think she can do it right you know?

Uh-huh. All right. I think she can. I hope she can. Let's make it about five bucks. You got it. Shake. It's okay.

Shake like that. Shake like that. Okay, five bucks. Tommy says she can't do it. I say she can. Okay, so we'll get back with it. She was definitely not blowjob Sally. That's for sure.

No, she definitely was passive Patty. She was passive Patty for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we'll be back next week with someone and then in a month for now. We'll find out of passive Patty dumped that, that guy. We didn't even know what his name was.

Who is he? We don't know. Truck truck truck. Yeah, trucker. Trucker. Trucker, Joe. Trucker Joe. Okay, anyway, thanks for listening. Thank you.

Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

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