Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 018 - Joe Just Moved to NYC and He's Looking for Dating Advice

Episode Date: April 13, 2014

Joe just moved to NYC and he's wondering where all the aggressive girls are. He's from North Carolina and apparantly none of the girls there were interested in taking the initiative when dating and that's what he's looking for. Will dating for him be different now that he's in NYC? Have the gender roles been changing and girls are more aggressive? Listen in to hear the debate.   **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Is it real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and chain here are your hosts Kathy k and Tommy welcome to strictly anonymous podcast you're on listening to

Kathy Kay and Tommy how you doing are you Tommy G or just Tommy I don't know what do you think I think just Tommy Kathy Kay and Tommy is like ridiculous yeah there's too many you don't get a last name I'm just Tommy yeah you're Tommy just in case I have to get a new Tommy so yeah you're listening to strictly anonymous podcast and if you have a problem or a question or what else could people call in a about a gripe, an issue you want to talk about with us. A funky situation that you're in?

Yeah, a fucked up situation that you're in. Fugged up situation. Or a funky situation. So I'm not allowed to curse. Email us. Email us at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.m. And we'll have you on our next show. There you go.

That's great. Yeah, isn't it? I like it. And I like the fact that the swear jar just got a little bit more money in it. Exactly. Too bad I don't carry cash. No more, huh? No, cash is.

very outdated. I've told you this before. Cash is a sign of a... Put your mind in it. Yeah, I'm right there. Cash is a sign of what? Cash is a sign, you know, like you and many others, because I'm a small business owner. Oh, we went over this already. Hookers and

prostitutes and drug dealers need cash. And no, and you made a good point. There are some illegal things that people like to do that you need to exchange monies. Also, people who pay tax. Taxes and a lot of taxes don't want things to go on record. Cash, when you pay with cash, it's over with.

So what are you trying to say? You want to put on tape right now that you're doing? No, I'm not doing anything. Hello? Anyway, so let's talk about our caller. Our color today is another Joe. I feel like we've had a lot of Joe's. I don't know how we're airing these, but this might be our fourth Joe or second Joe or first Joe.

This is Joe, and his original question goes something like this. Do you think women are overly cautious when it comes to following up with dates with a stranger? I'm not sure how to best word it. I also like to talk about the roles of each gender in modern times when it comes to establishing connections and relationships. We live in a world where equal rights is something we strive for and women are catching up with or exceeding men in a lot of areas. But as a man, I feel like the act of courting, in quotes, or seducing is something that women rely on men to do, mainly because they're fearful or. Or maybe because they're fearful of the risk and rejection involved. Blah, blah, well, I don't know.

This is so boring to me. And I feel like he's 60 and he doesn't understand social media. Like, I just wonder. Most of the time I like to guess. I like to guess how old this guy is. I asked them to give me their age and their gender and their question. He just sent me this long-winded, weird thing. And he didn't give me an age.

I say 58. What do you say? I mean, like, what do you mean dating in this time period? Does he mean, like, online? Seeing how you're usually wrong with the age guessing game. Why have I tried before? I'm going to go with 34. 34?

Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't good. I've been bad before. Yeah, remember you thought that guy was? Oh, let me tell you. I always like, yeah, and there's something about tall guys, like in person. Okay, through an email, it's hard to gauge. But I'm also really shitty at telling age in person.

Like, I always think tall guys are old. Like, I can't believe, like, a guy that's 25 would. be like six four um but there's a lot of 25 year old that are six four i always feel like if they're really tall they have to be old like there was a growing process takes a lot of years no there was this guy at the gym that i that i that i was so into gym from the gym j i am from the gym and you were not sweating my last chapter in my book yeah i wasn't sweating at the gym and i was after him no i was after him i wanted him and uh he was gorgeous and i was like i couldn't figure out his age right and i didn't i knew i was about to turn 40 and i

felt like he needed to be in his 30s for me to feel like it was okay to go after him. And so I called my friend up Courtney one day. I call her Cutney, but I'll say Courtney. Cutney. Yeah, she's a cunt. Okay. Cutney, I called up cutney and I said, hey, Courtney, can you meet me at the gym? I want you to, like, put on your gym clothes and stuff, and I have two things for you to do at the gym.

Not one of them is going to be working out, okay? And so she came to the gym, and I said, the first thing is, you tell me how old do you think that guy is over there? And she's like, I think he's 25. And I was like, there's no way he's 25. Like, I totally change Cuntony's mind. I was like, there's no, don't you think he's 32? Look how tall he is like his muscles?

Shut up. Don't remember my story. So then I'm like, look at his muscles. Okay? And she's like, and he's so tall in his face. And so she finally, she's like, okay, he's like 34. I was like, okay, great. So now I want you to follow him home from the gem when he leaves

because I want to know where he lives so I could like walk, you know, because we're in the same neighborhood, obviously, because we go the same job. Because I want to walk past his. building all. That's how I figured I would make my move because I didn't think I would be able to make the move in the gym. And so she did follow him home. The minute he left, she went, she was on the phone with me, like APB, like I had an ABB on the hot gym guy who was not supposed to be 25. And he didn't go home. He went to the tanning salon. Swear to God. Oh, no. Swear. And it turned out. I wound up

getting him. I wound up hooking up with him, and I met him at the gym. I had to do my business at the Jim and it turned out he was 25. Oh. Contany was right. She was right. Yeah, I'm always wrong. About age. Yeah.

You're saying I'm right about everything else. Absolutely. I'm here to agree with you. Okay, well, what I want to talk to you about while we're waiting for Joe to call is I want to talk about like, because you just had a baby and my brother just had a baby. And I see a pattern with you too. And I feel like I want to make a very big, broad statement just because of you two guys. Is this going to be offensive? No, I just want to know.

You're going on a lot of hunting trips. Yeah. And my brother goes on a lot of, quote, unquote, fishing trips. Okay. And he does this now that he has a new board. And I've known you a long time, Tommy. And I've never known you to go hunting. And now all of a sudden you're hunting like my brother's fishing.

And I'm just wondering as if you guys are just trying to get away from your babies. No, not at all. That sounded so. Shady. Fake. No, that was so fake, Tommy. No, not at all. Don't be fake.

Before I used to do a lot of fish. trips you know uh you're not fishing you're hunting are you gonna let me explain how we get from fishing to hunting yeah okay no but no i don't want the reason i just want to know about are you trying to get away from your baby no your wife no not at all i mean i'm trying to get a little i'm trying to get a little separation from work in the city and especially when you go hunting you're in a stand in the woods by yourself for several hours and it's it's relaxing yeah it's relaxing it clears your head Right, changing all those diapers. Yeah, listen, I don't mind that.

I mean, I really don't mind that. Oh, I was a joke because I figured you're not even doing that. No, I do a lot. Oh, no, I don't mind changing diapers. I was with my son all day today. I just think I see a pattern. I remember when I was working at a gig and my boss, who I loved, had a newborn baby, and I was like, yes, like he's never going to be in the office, right?

Like, that's what I really thought. And then that fucker never left the office. He was in earlier. he left later and I was like shit why didn't I think of this he doesn't want to be home with that little bit once they start talking and they're really cute it's one thing you know and they have more of a personality but when they're infants I don't think that there's a bond as much maybe with the guy because he never and he was a good dad and a great guy but he never wanted to go home once he had that baby and you know I could tell that there was like problems with him and

his wife they were always getting in fights I think it's like a hard first year the yeah it's difficult because especially our you know someone's first child It's everything's new. Anything you knew before your life is completely different. Right. It's like right when he came out, someone flipped on a switch, and that's all I can worry about 24-7. Yeah, and her too.

And then, you know, what happens is like all of a sudden, you're not like her main priority. Yeah, and, you know, she's there with him all day, and I'm at work and I'm doing things. And, you know, she's... And then you're going hunting on top of it. Did she get pissed at her? Um, she doesn't, you know, I'm not going to say she's happy about it, but no, she doesn't like when I leave the house for a couple nights.

Mm-hmm. Oh, and you go, right, that's like my brother. He goes on these broke back fishing trips. Broke back. Well, I believe he's having gay sex on his fishing trips because he always goes to this guy who's very good looking. So I'm like, if my brother is gay, he's totally hooking up with like hawk eyes. His fishing partner's really good looking. But he's married too, and I think that they're having gay sex.

And then once he posted a video on Facebook of like their cat. cabin or it wasn't even a cabin it was like a trailer i don't know but and it had one bed tie why you always ruined my stories sorry yeah like you're like uh like that's not good that's like the punchline but yeah you're right you're like the psychic joke teller yes there was only one bed and i was like why do i only see one bed he's like of course i had to say that out loud on this and he was like it's um there's a pullout couch i mean do you believe that. There are

polo catches. Maybe they had one. I mean, I go hunting with my dad and my brother. Yeah, but he always goes to this one guy and he goes all the time and he leaves so much. But my sister thinks he's addicted to fishing. I think he's addicted to cock. Sorry.

I wish he was get. Like, I think that would be so interesting. Because my brother's kind of like uninteresting in a lot of ways. He's just like this regular average guy and he's kind of dull and it would just totally change things up. I wish that would be such a great turn in this book of our family story. It would take the heat off of you. My heat has been off of me. Let me tell you, for a long time. Okay. The shit that has

come out, you know, like life is like a book. You never know what's going to happen in the next chapter. The stuff that comes out in families, like they change. So, you know, five chapters from now, my brother's gay. I would love that. It would be so much more interesting than not being gay and just being how he is now. A fisherman. chronic, addicted to silence that's literally what he's addicted to do

like nothing peace and quiet I mean I get that but yeah he has no tolerance and he leaves his girl and her baby and that's that so you know you're going hunting are you giving blow jobs

what are you doing on your hunting job? I'm hunting. Are you hunting with your dad or hawkeyes? I'm hunting with my dad and my brother. Oh, okay. But you don't, you don't hunt together. I mean, you're on different parts of the property.

Right. I think my brother, do you think my brother and this guy go fishing together? He goes fishing when it's raining. He goes fishing places where he can't get any cell phone service. That's the whole thing about you and my brother with the hunting and the fishing. I thought it was the same thing because you don't have any cell phone service and then he has no cell phone service. So that's the other pattern I forgot about.

There's no way to contact you guys when you're in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, you're in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, so you really can be having gay sex and nobody. would know. It would be the perfect. It's brokeback Mountain is genius. It's a broke back. I mean, they should have never made that movie because they're just outing so many people. It is the greatest

thing to do if you want to have a broke back fishing trips. I love that. Well, didn't you ever see the movie? I didn't watch it, no. Oh, that's why you have no idea what I'm talking about. No, I know Brokeback Mountain. I get it. Right, right. They always went fishing and that's that was the thing, quote unquote. Camping.

No, it's fishing. Oh, okay. Like my brother. And Henry Winkley. No. Yeah. So Joe's coming. Yeah. So listen, Joe's calling in.

I want to tell you that the other guy with the really big penis. Yeah. Keeps calling. I mean, keeps emailing me. He's a guy that I want to send in a picture. His problem is that his dick is too big. And he keeps emailing me. He's trying to get, like, establish a rapport with me.

And I'm not, I'm trying to go there, but not go there. really want to like swindle him into sending me a picture of it you could do it yeah I know I'm working on it all right you know I'm glad that he keeps emailing and I email him back and I'm always very professional um but if there's any dick pick guys out there like guys that are into dick pics or into that whole thing like Anthony meaner thing I would love to hear from you definitely email us I'd love to see your picture cat no it's not about the picture it's about the mentality I think it's very interesting I think a lot of people don't know what's behind it I know a couple of guys that are into it I've talked to them and they give me their, you know, thing, but I would love to talk to a real guy about it because

people have their own ideas about it. Some people, if you don't understand, like, you're not a dick-pick guy and you don't get it. But I'm sure if you talk to another guy that is, he might give you the idea or give you a reason of why it's interesting, and maybe you'll turn into a dick-pick guy. Who, me? Well, you know what this dick-pick guy told me? I'd be like, honey, look. No, yeah, you could send it to you while you're in bed. Yeah, I was just, you could either see the real thing or I could text you. Maybe that'll be fun. Yeah, I'm sure that will go over real well. you're watching the biggest loser in the living room and she's changing the baby's diapers you you could just send her pictures of your here's a dick pick yeah just just send them randomly

you know what i'll try that tonight when i go home yeah try try it right now send her one right now yeah i'm not at home i'm out somewhere but here's the picture of my heart penis what let me tell you what a like a what a professional dick pick man told me he told me this he said you know kathy what i noticed because he was like you think i like sending my dick he's not a this is like it's not about that. He said, I realized a long time ago that if I sent a dick pick to a girl and said, oh, I really trust you and I'm sending this to you, she would feel like the trust between us is enough that she would all of a sudden start sending me pictures. So he found that he sends one dick pick and then the floodgates are open and it's just naked pictures galore of the girls. And I was

like, that's kind of genius. Okay. Yeah. So that's the thing. So I think maybe that's the Anthony. I don't know if that's the other. I think there's more to it, you know, than just that. I think there's some kind of self thing with it. You know what I mean? Yeah, that mouse thing that I talked about in the past, like, are they showing some sort of an obsession with that phallic part of their body and dysfunction. But it does make sense, though, what he said, that if you send it to a girl, and then she's like, oh, let me show you a picture my tits, and then you're getting just tons of picture, and that's like his porn. You know, that's how he gets it. That's how he gets off. he doesn't understand that that's not the girl's porn

yeah no not really no no I mean if you're into amateur picks right what no when the girls send you pictures real life no no I'm saying the girl doesn't care that much about the dick pics as much as the guys care about the picks of the girls interesting what do you don't know that girls aren't a visual then guys most girls aren't like getting really turned on by a picture of a guy's dick guys of course can't help themselves to see

a naked woman's body. A woman can handle herself seeing a naked man. Okay, yeah. Okay, you believe me? Are you trying to act not gay because of these broke back hunting trips are going on? You're trying to act so not gay, okay? You own a gay bar, like, you know, you're open, what do you mean you don't know that girls are like that? Don't be afraid of sounding gay. What are you talking about?

I don't know. I felt like you were answering that question a little bit weird because I wanted to seem like you're into dude. Like tagging me? Yeah. I'm not the one fishing with Winkleman. I know that's my gay brother. Isn't that the name of the guy who played Fonsie? Yeah, Henry Winkler.

He's a big avid fisherman, quote on quote. So your brother's fishing with Fonzie? No, he doesn't go with him. He just, he's another fisherman that I know of besides my brother. And the two fictitious characters in Brokeback Manor. Was that a true story? I have no idea. No, but it was genius because I bet you it was, you know, there's guys that do that.

So anyway, so we'll be right back with Joe the 86 year how how old did you say I think he's you oh you said 34 yeah and I say he's um would you say 50 something yeah 54 okay no 54 or 64 he's just really old I think he's really

up and old well just go with the over and under and I'll take the under okay do you want some tea before I before the call I would love some tea but promise me you won't spit in it Oh God. I haven't spit in people's drinks in like 20 years. No.

I did. I must admit to the colors that I was. My friends used to call me the mad spitter. Because spitting in people's drinks was horrible. I know it is horrible. Right now I say it's horrible. When I was younger, it was a solution to all my problems. I swear to God.

If I was really mad. It worked out fine. I once though got fired from a job because they caught me spitting in people's drinks. But it really was. would take the edge off like if I was really really mad at somebody I would spit in their drinks and they would make me feel better it was the only way to get rid of my anger I was like an unruly child I something was wrong with me I remember that my first person I spit in the drink was this manager I had when I worked when I was stealing that guy's stuff and when I worked in the mall I was working in G&G shops and my manager was really mean to me and then she had the nerve to ask me to go upstairs and buy her an orange soda I remember it was specifically orange and I spit so much in her drink because I was really mean to me and I spit so much in her drink because I was really mean to me I was like, this bitch is being so mean to me, and now she's ordering me around to be her slave. Does she not think I'm going to spin her drink?

So I spit in her drink. And you want to know what happened? It was so easy for me to then go downstairs and be nice to her because I knew I had spit in her drink so then I could be nice to her. But without that, I would have been so mean and I would have got fired. So it really did help me. Does that make sense in a weird way? Yeah, no it does.

Yeah. And then when I was working in bars, I used to spend it of people's drink. That's what you remember. That's the Kathy Spitter that you remember. I was, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to deal with my feelings of any kind of, like anything other than happiness. I didn't know what to do. So spitting would help.

People called me the mad spitter. I was fired from a bar that I worked at because I spit in a co-workers drink and someone told on me. Is that ridiculous? That's crazy. I don't know what's worse. Being a nark and a tattletail or a spitter. I'd rather be a spitter than a tattletail. Well, how about you?

I'd have to go with spitter. Right? I don't like rats. No, me neither. Someone told on me that I said. spit in this girl's drink and I was fired. I mean that's really humiliating and the weird thing is is

that owner of that bar, I swear to God I spit in people's drink like so many years ago he's friends with a friend of mine and I met him and anytime I've seen him in these 20 years that have gone by he's been so rude to me and I'm like he can't still hate me because I spit in someone's drink when I was in my 20s you know I'm in my 40s now like there's no

way someone holds something you know but sure enough I saw about my friend's birthday party and I decided to try because my friend said yeah he is maddie for So I apologize to him. And he said, okay, and then he treated me fine. He was literally still mad at me from that. And I didn't even spit in his drink.

Yeah, it wasn't his? I don't know. It's weird. And you didn't deny it? I couldn't deny it. I was told on it. I would have denied it if I could. I think I was just so busted.

There was nothing I do. Because it wasn't just the girl. It was a girl and her boyfriend. I only told two people that I spit in this girl's drink. Multiple witnesses. Yeah. And just so you know, those people were like dealing drugs. in the place and everything

and I could have totally ratted them out but I was just a spitter I wasn't a rat. I didn't rat them out. I took my, you know, I took the hit. I was fired and that was okay.

I hated that job anyway. You know it was time. Yeah. This is the time for me to exit. But that's a humiliating way. Mad spitter with her head down walking out of her job. Yeah.

I don't spit at people's drink. It's awful. Do not spit in people's drinks. Even if you're angry. That would be my advice. But, well, it did help. But you were revengeful too, Tommy. Like, I remember, I mean, you're a revengeful person.

You did worse than spitting. I remember, do you remember the lemon story? Yes. You do? I'm going to tell it because I'm going to tell it. I was drinking. This is my drinking deed. It was at the end.

It was towards the end of my drinking days. I met you towards the end, probably the last year. And Tommy was working in a bar, and he was at the bartender, and I needed a drink. And Tommy wasn't paying attention to me. And we all know that I need to be paid attention to when I was younger. Like, you know, I didn't have no person. patience. And so in order to get Tommy's attention, I started whipping lemons at his head from across the bar. Like he was at one end of the bar. I was at the other and this is a long bar. And I have

very good aim, right? I really believe that I think that I hit your head like 10 times. You hit my head, you know, and I was trying to talk to customers at the same time. Yeah. And so I was whipping lemons at your head while you were trying to do your job. Yeah. You weren't spitting in people's drinks. No. You were just serving drinks like a good, clean bartender would do. Washing my hands, everything. Spitting those drinks. And I was whipping lemons at your head. And you didn't do anything.

You sat there. You did your business. And then when you were done doing your business and I was done with the lemons because I think I used up all the lemons. There was no lemons left. You walked over to me and you looked at me. Shit, Joe's calling right now. Okay, we'll be right back with Joe on the air and we'll finish the story in a minute. Be right back.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Hi, Joe, you're on the air with Kathy and Tommy. Hi, sorry, I got to lower you a little bit. Hello, hello?

Joe? Can you hear me? Yeah, we could totally hear you. You were just a little too loud. You just caught us in the middle of a story, so I'm just going to finish the story real quick. I'm sorry, Tommy. What you did was you came up between me. Tommy, I, me and Tommy worked at a bar, and I'm just going to tell you, Joe, what we're just talking about.

He was working in a bar, and I was like a drunken mass 10 years ago, and I was trying to get his attention. so I was whipping lemons at his head. And he didn't do anything. And Tommy, you walked over to me, he didn't say a word, and then you took the water. The soda gun. Yeah, and you squirted the water in my face. It was hilarious. It was good.

So anyway, that was Tommy's revenge. So what's up, Joe? Hey, Joe. We were a little confused at your question. I read your email to Tommy, and he didn't really understand what kind of info you were looking for, what you wanted to discuss. So why don't you let us now? I guess the follow-up question that I had. which was, I feel that, you know, in the modern world, in the 21st century, everything,

all of the equal rights stuff that's going on, men and women are, you know, women are catching up the men and even passing men in a lot of areas of life, not only like education, a lot of other things as well, but I feel like the world is moving into the 21st century, but dating and meeting people and courtship, I don't know a good word for it, is not, and it's still kind of stuck in the 20th century. Oh, interesting. I wanted, yeah.

That was like kind of the, I just want to get your thought from that. Well, what's your deal, Joe? First of all, how old are you? I'm 24, so. I'm always wrong. Kathy's always wrong. She thought you were like some old dude not being able to date in the new world. Yeah, I literally, I try to make guesses of where, like, who the person's going to be, you know, because all I get is an email from you, right?

You didn't give me your age. Sometimes people do. So my guess was that you're like, your guy that lived in the olden days, like, you know, and when things were very different. And then everything changed and the internet came and you're like 60 now and you don't know how to date. But turns out you're 24. Yeah. And you're seeing things change in your own little lifetime so much that you don't feel like the, I mean, you've always, I mean, you've always, I mean, As far as dating is concerned in your life, it's always been online dating, right?

Or what is dating to you? Well, I mean, like you say, I'm young, so I don't know what years ago. But I think the sentiment is that, you know, something more traditional, it's up to the guy to impress the woman. You know, upon first meeting, it's up to a guy to prove she then decides whether she's interested or not. And maybe it's just because I come from a guy's point of view that I feel that there's a lot of burden and pressure on us men to pull that weight. Let me ask you this, Joe. How do you feel about having to pay the tab? Sorry?

How do you feel about also having to pay that tab at the end of the date? Yeah, exactly. I know that I've never been bought that during. What? Yeah. What about that? No. What were you going to say about that, Joe?

No, I said I know I've never been. Right. But do you think that it's not fair and that a woman should pick up half of the tab? I don't think it's just, I know that I will always offer and prefer to pay the tab after most states, really. Right. At least at the beginning, at least at the beginning.

Let me tell you what I tell a lot of guys that they don't understand if you don't have a, like, didn't have a long-term girl. or you didn't grow up with sisters or you have no girlfriends. What guys don't understand when they bring up this thing about having to pay for the tab that before, like by the time a girl shows up to a date, she's put over $100 into that date as well. She gets her hair done.

She gets her nails done. A manicure or pedicure. She waxes her cooch. She buys a new outfit. She gets new shoes. It could cost her a couple hundred dollars before she shows up, okay? A girl definitely invest in a date if she likes a. guy for sure every girl wants to show up looking good and looking her best so she always spends a

couple bucks on that day before she gets there so it is totally the appropriate for the man now to spend some money because there's no way you're getting your hair done or paying for anything before you show you're not buying a new outfit are you before you going on a date maybe really oh that's cute Joe do you date regularly uh I wouldn't say regularly no all right I mean uh are you out you know in your 20s now? Are you sleeping with lots of girls or frequently, not so frequently? Not so frequently. All right. No, but so your thing is, is that you want women to be, since they're more aggressive in life,

you want them to be more aggressive in relationships. I'm talking more like even like the initial connection, the initial meeting a person. I feel like they tend to take this backseat like I'm the woman. you impress me, you seduce me, and that's how we'll proceed. And even not in like a bar atmosphere, even in just general, casual,

I think women are more hesitant or fearful to have a personality. Where do you live? Take it upon themselves to a guy they're interested in. I think, I don't know. Where do you live, Joe? General area.

Sorry? Where do you live? I live in New York. you're in New York City? Yeah. You're in New York City and you don't find girls to be totally aggressive and like making passes and stuff at you and like, you know, it surprises me because I know a lot of younger women and I'm friends with them and I feel like so many of them nowadays are chasing guys and trying to make shit happen with guys. And personally, I don't think that that's the way it should be. I do believe just in nature that it is normally a man's thing when he feels the urge that he likes a woman to try to impress her.

to try it win her over to try and chase her and get her. Though there are some men that aren't like that, but most men are. And most girls, I think sometimes they don't like when a guy is too much on a date because normally the girl wants to talk about herself too. And I feel like most women complain about the opposite that you say, that they feel like the man is doing too much of the pitching and trying to make shit happen, and she doesn't really able to get a word in edgewise. But it seems like you see everything as opposite, and it's very surprising to me.

I mean, I'm still new to the city, so I don't really have a large... I lived in Charlotte, North Carolina. Okay, I need to... On a scale of 1 to 10, how hot are you? Like, are you a 4 or a 3? No, no. I don't think I've ever gotten... Because that might be your problem, no.

No, no, no. Actually, I'm definitely above average. You're above average looking at. How tall are you? six one so you're tall let me tell you you're huge wait let me tell you six one in new york you're like already even if you were four right now you'd be at a six seven seven with the height alone because you can't stop me let if you don't mind me asking how old are you guys Tommy is how old I'm going to be 38 and I'm 44 well you know there's a 20 20 year gap here and I

I think that there's a different. I mean, I think that things are different. You know what? I think that the millennials and I think my generation handles a lot of things differently. Totally. 150,000 percent different. You're totally right.

You think women are what? Tightening up, just in general. That's interesting to me because I don't see that, but it's interesting that you say that. You know why? I actually agree with you, Joe. You want to know why I probably why the women are tightening them? because of the online dating.

It's like you're a woman, you put your thing on there, and you're just flooded with guys coming to you. So when they go out, they think that it should be the same way there. But isn't it the same for guys in their inbox? My brother told me when he was online. It ruined women for him because he'd be online. He'd meet a hot girl. He'd go out with her.

He'd fuck her the first night. And then he'd come home and there would be 10 more in his inbox just like her. And it's like he was like he actually was like, he was like, I don't know. He was just like he kind of there was something depressing about it to him because it was just like an endless supply. But I don't get that. I just think that, uh, I think they're becoming lazy. What, women? No, just like the dating scene has just been come, you know, they, it's been put on cruise control with all the online dating and everything.

So the mentality when you get out to the real world before, you know, oh, maybe, yeah, maybe your generation doesn't know how to talk in person because everything is done via text. And no one has, no one has, no one has social skills. Do you think that could be it, Joe? I mean, that's part of it because we're the Internet generation. But, I mean, I know, me personally, I don't do online dating. I know it's very popular, but I know, you know, I know some people who don't really rely on that. Okay, but let me ask you this. How did you find me on Craigslist?

Exactly. Just admit it, Joe, listen, nobody knows who the hell you are. No one's ever going to know who this is totally anonymous. The name of the podcast, by the way, is strictly anonymous. So nobody is ever outed. Nobody on the call is who that they are. Nobody knows anything. And we do that on purpose because we want people to be truthful.

So truthfully, and I've had every kind of call. We have guys that call up and they're into bondage and they have wives and they're talking about it. Like, I mean, there's no outing anything that we haven't heard before. So what were you on Craigslist for? I like reading misconnections because I think they're interesting. Oh, is that where you found me on misconnections? Yeah. So what is misconnections?

It's like about people that, like, bumped into somebody and they liked them, but they couldn't meet them there? I think in reality, it's that, but no one, it doesn't ever work. Right. It's just a little thing that you do for fun. But I think the chances of something actually happening are incredible. slim. Okay. But, Joe, are you telling the truth?

Is that you swear that it was misconnections and you weren't really looking like maybe for like a hookup or something online on Craigslist or something else? I mean, I don't know. I don't think I would trust someone I'm from Craig's. Yeah, and I don't think you could, we've had other guys on call. And I don't think you could get, I don't think a lot of guys are on there looking for stuff, but I don't think a lot of girls go on there. So where do you do most of your dating?

These girls that you go out with that you feel like are. are kind of lame and aren't really changing with the times and aren't really aggressive and want you to do everything. Where do you meet those girls? Are you doing online? What, like, where do you post your stuff? Are you on? I mean, I haven't dated, uh, since I've moved to New York, but in Charlotte, the scene

there is pretty much bars only. It's either your workplace or bars. And then there's also intramural, like intermural sports. I think those are the three big ones. Yeah. Well, you know, the girls in New York. are totally a lot more aggressive, I feel like, than girls in other places, especially from where you're from. I mean, you haven't, how long you've been in New York for?

Months and a half. Oh, God. You're in, like, the greatest city in the world. I wish you could, like, call, I wish you could just, we should have him call back in, like, two months, and he's going to be a change man. He's going to be, like, yeah, I'm out every night. Yeah, you don't know. I know New York women in your age range. Okay, let me tell you a little secret, Joe.

Okay. You're in the state. Like, there are so many beautiful. women in this town. None of these women could get guys to date them because no guy wants to date anyone in this town because there's so many hot girls that they could sleep with. Why would they have a relationship? So if you go into any

restaurant, next time you go into restaurants in this town, you look around and you tell me how many tables fill of women with no men you see. I mean, it's just all over. It's rampant. No, I have looked at that. I have looked at that. You noticed that, right? It's mixed. I don't know. I noticed

that, you know, a lot of guys aren't in restaurants. Unless they're with a girl. Right. But there's a lot of girls with their friends. And there's a lot of single women in this town desperate for a guy. And you're a good guy to catch. We should start a dating a line on here, too, because we could pimp Joe out.

Because he says he's cute. What was your number on a scale of 1 to 10? He said above that. Really be honest. Are you a 7 or you're a 6? I'll give myself in 8. Nice. And he's over 6 fits.

Yeah. So that's a 10. You're good. Okay. So, and what are you? Are you Jewish? Are you Christian? Like, what's your deal?

I have no I don't I have no affiliation really okay so he's not really perfect so he if anyone can date him right so you know so basically you're I'm going to give you an 8.75

because he's an 8 with a height but I mean I also have you know being honest I have a pretty good job as well but it's also something that keeps me very very busy you're in finance uh no software

which I think is a negative I think software is honestly negative for a lot of women. Why? I think finances. No, nothing is. Everyone, you know, some people don't like finance because of the type of guys that finance attracts. But software attracts a certain type of guy as well. Nerds?

Usually more awkward, not as fun. Yeah, let me tell you something about New York women. They're all attracted to cash. Yes, yes. Yeah, you're making me. There are so many girls, Joe, your age in this town. That have huge... The thing is, I'm...

All right, so, you know, I agree there. I agree there. But my original point was that, okay, if you say that all these girls are desperate for women, why aren't they taking upon themselves to still find these men and really make an effort to approach them? I mean, switch the gender roles. Well, okay. You're talking to the wrong person.

You're talking to the wrong person because we were just talking about how many guys I chased after the gym and got to sleep with them. Like, I'm a very aggressive woman, and I always have been, and I've done it in a time and a generation where it was unheard of. I feel like personally nowadays, I find a lot of younger women that I know that I'm friends with that are they're all very aggressive and they chase after guys. I see it a lot. I mean, I think you're just not here long enough and you're not on their radar, but I swear

to you, they do chase after guys a lot more than I think that they should personally. I don't think that it's a good thing. I've always done it because I don't have patience and I'm aggressive and I just, if I want something, I go after it. and I've always been like a dude that way. But girls nowadays, I feel like they're so, they are more aggressive because they're more desperate, because they're looking, and because guys in this town are less available. So if you're available and like, I mean, you just, you just need an aggressive girl.

You know, you need time. You just got here. I mean, I'd say give it a couple of months and you've got to put yourself out there. If you don't put yourself out, put yourself out there, put yourself out there, put yourself in these situations, out at the bars, out at like these, what are they called, intermural style sports or whatever, put them... Sports, Joe, how have you been meeting girls lately? Like, in the past month and a half, and you've noticed this trip.

I haven't. I mean, I've met people through where around where I live, like through friends of friends, I'd say. Right, but so have you been out to the bars? Are you like a bar scene guy? Do you go out to clubs? The bars, like, what's your doing on the weekend? Yeah.

I like to go out. It's hard when you don't know anyone here. Right. So do you have guy friends or not yet? Again, I'm in software, so my friends are... A little awkward. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. Just to say much less social.

Right. So basically your analysis of women and dating comes from... It's not from your view of New York. It comes from a different city. It's true. No, that's very true. Yeah, I'm telling you, you're not going to have that. I personally think, even though I'm from a different generation, I keep in touch with younger people and I have a lot of friends that are younger.

I think that the women nowadays are very different and not like, you know, in that gender role thing like they used to be. I feel like women are very aggressive. All the young people are paying for their own. The girls are paying their own tabs. They're chasing after guys. They're calling them even though they're not calling them. They're asking them to date.

Like, you know, I don't. I don't know that that has a I guess it hasn't caught on in Kansas yet but here on the East Coast that's the way that it is and because unfortunately for women New York is not a relationship town girls it's really hard for them to find relationships guys in this town

because once you figure out the secret about New York Joe and the secret about New York is you could get laid whenever you want and there's tons of girls and they're all ready willing and able to be with you you're not you're going to like never want to settle down but if you're looking for a relationship and you're available and you're

nice guy, I mean, you're going to have no problem finding a really beautiful girl to hook up with here because trust me, New York is full of it and full of women with interesting personalities. Like you say they show up and they don't really talk. Like maybe the girls in your city didn't have personalities. I don't really understand that. I hear the opposite complaint from women that they go on a date and the guy is just trying to, you know, blow their own horn the whole time. Not so much, you know, and then they can't talk. But if you're like a kind of quiet guy that's looking for a girl that's really going to wow you,

you're not going to have a problem in New York. You're in the right place, Joe. You move to the right city to change your view on dating. Yeah. Right? Don't you think of that? I agree with you because, like I said, you just got here. Give it a little more time.

Get acclimated to the city. And you got to go out. You've got to put yourself in situations where stuff can happen. And I'm going to tell you, you're going to be a problem. Approached by women by women you have to drink do you drink alcohol? Yeah, yeah, I do You drink, you're going to go out, shit's going to happen. But let me ask you this. Did you put yourself on any online dating sites?

That's always, I think, the best thing to do when you move to a new city. Are you on match or OKCupid? I probably should. I probably should, but no, I haven't. I heard. I have before, and I haven't had much success at all. Yeah, it's hard. I don't feel like, I don't know.

I heard plenty of fish is the spot. I don't know. They're all the same. Whatever. But there's free ones now. I think for the younger people, they do. Okay, Cupid or plenty of fish is like the newest one. And you should definitely go on there.

I've always find that stuff awkward and weird. It's like you're shopping for toothpaste. It's very backwards to me because it's a picture and it's a thing. And I don't know. It doesn't work for me. But I know a lot of guys that have a lot of success. Tommy was online once and he had me manage his account. Yeah, I hired Kathy to manage my account.

And I was emailing girls for her. I was terrible at being a guy. Terrible. And then one time I emailed a girl back, and instead of writing from Tommy, I wrote from Kathy. Obviously, she never wrote him back. But he was very horrified, I think a lot of,

like you didn't like Tommy because you didn't get a lot of girls email. You thought it was like me. You were ugly or whatever. Like you took it a little too personally. I think if you don't take online dating that personally, you just put it up there and just use it as a side thing while you're going out or trying to meet girls, you know, you'll be fired.

But I think that, you know, your opinion comes from your old city. And I think that what you're sort of have gripes about is going to be totally changed because you move to a, you know, a very different place. And it's not going to be, it's going to be different. We do things. We're, we just started our podcast and we've just taped a couple shows. And then we're going to be doing a where are they now segment eventually just to see. So I can't wait to talk to you. We're going to make sure that and, you know, I'll email you when this goes on air.

and then I want to email or you can email me when things start to pick up or I'll email you in a couple months. Yeah, we want to check in with you. I want to see that you're going to tell us that we're totally right and you're going to have like 18 girls that you're banging and you're going to be having a great time and your whole attitude is going to change. And that's what I want to see. That's what I want to see what happens after you've been in New York. Like I would say six months. All right. Get yourself out there.

If you're an eight, go out there. Get it. Go get some. tall, cute guy with a lot of cash. Go outside. All right, Joe. Have a good one. All right, thank.

Bye. He, I think your analysis for that was right. I mean, he just moved here from like nowhere land. He was cute, though. I loved how he, like, he was, like, trying to tell us we're wrong and we're too old. He didn't, yeah, he really didn't have an idea yet. He really just, like, he's coming from another place. And obviously, because I see what's going on here in New York, and I can't believe.

I feel sorry for the younger people, especially the girls. I think that they have changed gender roles. And they do act like men. And I don't think it's good. And it's not getting them anywhere. And Tommy, I think that obviously it hasn't seeped out of the city. And it's not, you know, because where was he from again, North Dakota? Where is he from?

Who's listening here? Where is he from? Who's from the Carolinas? Okay. You could pay attention to those stupid details. I'll pay attention to the details that I'm interested in. I don't care about people's names or that kind. But he's from where?

The Carolina. That's in North Carolina. Yeah, obviously it hasn't changed her yet. And that's interesting to me. You know, I would never know. What I say. But this is the guy that's like making an analysis and he's like on Craigslist reading misconnections about other people's love life as opposed to like putting himself online

and looking for dates. Yeah, you know, and I feel for that generation. I think it's numb. They don't know how to talk to each other. Yeah, well, listen. You know, we sound like, I never want to sound like my grandmother sounded when I was young. Like, I mean, it is what I don't feel that's their life. No, I understand that.

But you have to admit, when you were really in the full swing of dating, like in the 90s, it is light years different today than what it was. Right, but it was still. I didn't even have a cell phone. Right. But it still sucked in other ways. To me, dating is always going to suck. But I think, yes, I personally think it seems like it sucks more. But it is their life.

So they don't know any different. So it just sucks like it sucked for us. The only part of dating I have to say that's fantastic is the part when you go, ugh. That is so bad. I think that texting and all that stuff. It's too much. It is.

It's too much information. TMI. I remember the thing that I used to love when I was younger and me and my boyfriend would break up, I would love the fact that I could imagine for the first couple of months that he was home crying about me and really upset and he really missed me. And I could be delusionary enough to think that he's at home just upset about me. And now you don't know girls get that. Like in two seconds, you're on Facebook.

I know where he is. Yeah. He's bringing pie to his new girl's like mother's house. Pie? Yeah, like that happened to me actually. Well, the girl was bringing pie to his mother's house. But that happened like a month after things ended between us. And there's like this new girl from bringing a baked pie to his mom.

Did you used to live in Joe's town? No, this is New York And I'm serious like shit like that Now you never get to even believe That someone ever liked you everyone It just seems like people moved on And it's just like I love that That world where you could imagine that somebody

Really cared and maybe missed you The smart daters, the smart daters If I was in my early 20s again What I would do if I was outdating I would be completely off all social network Whatever You can't get that disconnected It's really hard

And then you make those rules and regulations and then you find out that your girlfriend has a fake account or you're doing it. Once you start to put rules like that on situations, it doesn't work. You have to, it has to be like a free for all or not. Like you just, because I think that that's when you get screwed. Because you say, don't do that. And she says, okay. And then somebody does it.

And then you have like, you know, somebody broke the rules. I mean, if you're out dating and doing the thing, just delete your Facebook account. You be anonymous. Oh, okay. Not like, oh, we're in a relationship now. Let's not have Facebook. No, that's when you have Facebook. I mean, but if you're out, like, on the prow, I think it's a safe way to do it.

I can't tell you how many guys try and hit on me on Facebook, like married guys from high school. Like, I get emails from them. No, I'm really serious. So Facebook, when you're in a relationship, could lead to naughty things. It just does. People are just on there. Hey, haven't seen you in a while. Your pictures look great.

I don't even know. One is my next neighbor. It's really creepy. He just waited a year. He does it like every couple months. And then he waited a year. Now he's back again. He sends me really dirty even.

emails and he's married he was my neighbor and then there's other guys in high school I don't even know who they are I don't believe that they know who I am but they start to email me and I see pictures of them and their family so I think that stuff sucks in relationships but you know you can't do anything about it that's all right yeah time please don't ever make you made a joke before that was so horrendous the thing about the moaning like don't try don't try like you're just being you and you're just being your like you don't try to be funny okay Okay, I'm sorry. I don't want to be a... Does that mean for me to say? I was just trying to recover from that. It was so bad. Okay, so that was Joe, and I... This is why I do like to catch up,

because I think when you take people in one space and time or a problem, it's like one thing. I mean, where's Joe going to be in six months? He's going to be a whore. He's going to just be another New York asshole. He really is. Once he realizes the power of his height and his good looks and his money, he's just going to be another unavailable New York asshole.

And it's going to be our fault. You just sweet talks about the guy and now you just broke him down. Well, we'll see. We'll see what happens to him. All right. I don't have anyone for next call or have to send out another ad. So next call will be a surprise for next podcast. All right.

Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show.

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