Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 020 - Is Jose's Girlfriend Cheating on Him or is He Just Paranoid?

Episode Date: April 28, 2014

Jose's 23 year old girlfriend has been acting strangely for the past two weeks and he's convinced she's cheating on him. Is she cheating or is he just being paranoid? Tune in to find out.   **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your Greek black lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous Podcast. We're listening to Kathy and my co-host Tommy.

Hey, welcome. How are you, Kathy? I'm good. You know, if you want to call into the show, we just got to do our thing. Okay. If you want to call into the show, I'm going to do it really fast.

If you want to call into the show, send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast.g. We had one girl, Patty, passive Patty. She came in through the show. She wasn't a Craigslist call. Through the email, you mean? No, I mean, she emailed us because she listens to the show and she had a problem. Most of my callers are from Craigslist.

The guy from today is from Craigslist. So the guy's name is Jose and the girl's name is Kelly. And this is a 37-year-old guy who's dating a 23-year-old Polish girl. And I think it's like one of those on and off again relationships. And he needs some help because he's like, I want to marry this girl. He was trying to get very specific with me in an email. He was giving me way too much information. Get rid of that.

giving me way too much information. I was like, why don't you save it for the call? Okay, so, you know, let's get Jose on the call and see about his on-again-off-again relationship with his... Let's get him on. Polish girl. I was going to say Polack, but that's not good, right?

No, that's not good at all. Okay, he was Polish girl. Right back. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show?

Well, strictly a non-a-stop. wants to hear from you, send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Hello? Hey, Jose, you're on the air with me, Kathy, and my co-host Tommy. How are you doing, Jose? Hey, how you doing, guys?

I'm pretty good. All right, all right. What? You're doing kind of good. Hey, can you hear us? Okay. Yeah, I hear you guys good. I mean, it sounds like you guys want to speak, but I can hear you.

Really? I don't know why that is. Is this volume good? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, you sound a little muffled. But now you're all right. Does it sound better? I mean, you want me to use, I could try to use my headset if that might help.

No, now you sound better. You sound less muffled now. Oh, okay. Okay. So I was telling, I didn't go through your exact text that you were telling me. You know, you were giving me a lot of details. But so let's get into the story. Basically, like, I think the bigger picture.

as you're in this on and off again relationship with this girl and you've been on and off for four years. I was a little confused. Well, no, that's the thing. I was going to explain to you. It hasn't really been on and off because what happened was actually we've known each other already going. It's four years, two months and some change. Now, for the first two years, we were just friends with benefits. I met.

Right, but let me ask you this because you said she had a boyfriend. When you were friends of benefits with her, was she dating another guy? She was, well, she had the boyfriend at the time, but due to the fact that, quote unquote he lived in another state and they didn't see each other a lot that's the reason why she wanted to have something like that and that's what i wanted as well too because i had just got out of the 12 year relationship so basically she was cheating on her long distance relationship guy with you for two years yeah and you have to put that in the story like you can't take the boyfriend out of the picture because it you you know what i mean well i mean i mean i will say this though i mean like when she like him, we were still friends with benefits. Like, our situation didn't change to, like, almost maybe a half a year later. Well, of course, because you guys were used to that, right? Like, you were used to being.

And I was actually the one to pursue your relationship. And, you know, she was actually all four. She was happy. So when I tell you two and a half years of perfectness, I'm not exaggerating. I kid you not. I mean... But was it, okay, but I'm sorry. And I know I just cut you off and that's bad to me, but was it perfect when she had

the long distance boyfriend. Is that when it was perfect? No, actually, no, it became better when we became an official couple as boyfriend and girlfriend. Okay, so that was six months later, and how long have you been, how long has it been like just you and her

exclusive? In a real relationship? Okay, so two years before that was with the boyfriend and then two and a half years with that. So you've been with her about four and a half years? Yes. Okay.

Next February, next February, next year. Okay, so what's the problem now? Okay, so now the thing is basically that I was saying she just started a job in January. She goes to school part-time, I mean, she works part-time, and she's also in school part-time, she's in college. And everything was going good pretty much up to Valentine's Day weekend. It pretty much kind of started on the 15th, which is that Saturday. And from then on, it's like the time between it has been cut less and less, you know. I mean, at first I was noticing that it wasn't like her change.

changing. But between March and April, we had to so many fights, like the way she would communicate with me wasn't the normal way of her communicating with me. But you just know, you know what I mean? When you talk to someone and you get the taxes and you see it like that, you'll see the difference. Like you just have. Right. And it was after she started going to school that thing, her personality started to change? No, actually she's been in school for a while, right? We met while she was still in school. It was when she got the job. Yes. That's basically like slowly but surely It started changing. I had been to the job, you know, like to see what guys are there,

whatever like that, because not for nothing. I'm the older guy, you know, compared to all the dudes that work around here, they're not even close to my age. Right. You're 37, she's 23, right? 24. 24. 24.

And where are she working? Yeah, I was just going to ask that. She works at Petland. Where? Petland. All right, yeah, so most of the people there are young. Yeah, it's all, like, you know, young guys like her. Exactly.

Most of everybody is young in there. You know, me, I'm a local three employee. I'm in the electricians union, so, you know. IBEW, right? Yeah, there you go, bro. International, brother. There, you know. There you go.

So, you know, that's cool. Okay. So, you know, and I mean, and that's another thing, too. She actually helped me get that job, too. So that's another reason why my bond and hers is so much more, because all we've always done is talk about later on when she finished in school when she graduate. Now, I kind of didn't get to tell you guys this earlier.

Our parents are racist kids. Oh, right. And she's Polish. you're Puerto Rican, right? Exactly. So you're a cockroach to them. Yeah, to the point, they don't even know I exist. Right.

Yeah, they're not most accepting. Because of the fact that she has a Hispanic boyfriend, she fears that they're going to cut her off from things for school and at the same time, too, that they're going to disown her. And she doesn't want that to happen. And this has been ongoing through your whole relationship. I mean, what happens at holidays? Like what happens at holidays?

holidays with you guys? What happens at holidays with you guys? Like when the holidays come around, right? What happens? Does she come to your house? Have you ever been to see her parents? I've never seen her parents except for her in photos. Like I said, I don't know them.

They don't know. So, but what happens at holidays? What do you guys do? Does she come to your house? Does she know your family? Well, she does know a lot of my family. She has met them. Like Christmas Day, we wouldn't be together.

We wouldn't see each other for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day because we know that's the family thing And because of the situation That's why I'm not there and she's not here But definitely New Year's Eve and New Year's Day She's always been with me What about Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving, it's a toss-up

One year she was, one year she wasn't Okay, so basically you guys can't really do the holiday thing And do that couple stuff with the families Because her family doesn't accept you Exactly So that's another problem. Her sisters know about me. You know, they know about me and anything like that, and they like me and everything like that.

But mom and dad have no clue at all. Okay. So that's another separate issue. But your issue right now is that you feel like she's changed. How long has it been since, like, her behavior has changed towards you? I would say really gotten bad within the last. So just two weeks? Yeah, but the reason why it's dramatic.

The simple side is because it's never ever happened. You know, like it's like it's like a story. I was going to say maybe she's. PMSing hard. That's just it. She's never, I've been around her during her PMS time. And believe it in that, she's more of a hornball. Right.

Oh, so you, so how has she changed? Is it like she doesn't want to have sex with you? She's not calling you. There you go. The calling and the texting have gotten short. I don't get the same affectionate feeling like I used to get over the phone off of her like I normally did. It's just weird. Like, before she would make any type of excuse to come.

things now it's always I'm too tired um I can't okay but it's only been two weeks that in your whole time that you've been with her have there ever been like a week here or there that she acted a little weird no no so I mean she could totally have someone else though Tommy I'm I'm yeah I'm you know I'm you guys when I tell you that to me to me to snap like this honestly is because gut wise I feel like something's wrong and in my past so many times that I have ignored my gut, I paid for it dearly. Well, listen, sometimes, like, in this situation, I mean, what, like, you know, you're, what are you supposed to do?

You're going to, like, start asking her, like, what are you doing? Like, have you tried, like, have you had a conversation with her? I mean, we've had conversations, and she tries. In the past two weeks, and you've asked her, like, what's up, babe, like, what's going on? Yeah, I mean, like I said, also within those two weeks, we also broke up, too. Like, when it first. You broke up two weeks ago. Yeah, we, well, when, when, it was.

Initially the first argument happened when it first surfaced, I actually said, I'm done with you. This man, I can't take this bullshit. I'm sorry if you make any excuses, la-da-la-la-da. And I just hung up. Okay, and then who called who? Believe it or not, it was me. I called 20 minutes.

Right, no, I believe it because you should have waited to see if she called you. Because, you know, sometimes when people want a little break or they want to do something else, like they, you know, sabotage. Like maybe she's starting arguments because she wants you to break up with her. You know what I mean? Well, she didn't start to argument in the sense. I mean, she kind of didn't give me the answer that I wanted. So when I called back, I just flipped out first or out, left her speechless.

And then when I did call her back, she was trying, you know, it's not like she wasn't. And I told her to listen, I can't do this over the phone. This is child's play doing it all this on it. It's going to end. I'd rather end face to face. So I want to do it. Okay, but let's focus here because this is like a confusing kind of situation. Tim, are you confused at all or no?

A little bit. Wait, yeah, because it's all over the place. but so, okay, what did you guys have an argument? You said she didn't give you the answer that you wanted. What were you? Like, two weeks comes and what happens? Like, in the beginning of that two weeks, what do you start noticing? She's not texting you.

She's not emailing you. And then what's the conversation that you have with her? And what does she not say to you that you break up with her? Like, the specifics of that? Well, I, I'm not funny. You expect your significant other than each of it. Right. So she didn't do that.

You know. She didn't come to. Was she working? Was she working? She at school? No, she wasn't. She was neither. She was with her sister at a store.

Okay. And you called her and said, hey, babe, I'm at the hospital, and she just couldn't make it? No, she just didn't say anything about it. Oh, my God, what's wrong? And then that's pretty much it's not like, oh, I'll be right there or I'll meet you at home. You know, little things like that, you know, I kind of thought about that. All sorts of truth. Okay.

And so then you had a conversation with her and what did you say to her? When you say she didn't give me the answer that I wanted, what did you say to her? What you mean? Say that again? What was the question that you asked her That she didn't give you the correct answer? Oh, I was actually played I actually took off from work that day

That I called her because she was supposed to come over that day In other words, I took a day off to deal with her Because of her schedule And she didn't bother telling me to that last moment When I called her, oh, I'm not coming now Because I'm busy shopping with my sister Before situations like that Would get put on hold instantly

And you would be here and this is just talking about a month ago, you know what I mean? Like, how is it that you just drastically just alter your attitude like that? That was the first thing. Right. So after every female was said on the phone, you know, I told her to listen, I can't break up over the phone. That's child's play. I rather, if it's going to break up, I'd rather do it face-to-face.

If you have anything to say, you say it to me, if we can fix it, we can fix it. She was like, yes. And what did she say about why she didn't come visit you at the hospital? Well, I wasn't there. I wasn't there a whole long, but just a point she didn't come. that that was my issue. And the same thing, when I got arrested, I told, I mentioned that, I was like,

yeah, I got arrested and I asked, why didn't you meet me at the police and so I could go home? You know, there was no answer to that need. Okay, Jose, let me ask you this, though, Jose, because this is a little dramatic. In the past two weeks, you've been in the hospital and you've been arrested? Well, that was another part of the incident that I just happened to bring up.

But no, not to me. Okay, but is this happened in the past two weeks? They arrested? No. It's just... Okay, so she hasn't been there for you in the past, too. Yeah. She didn't come when you were arrested either.

So it's not that odd. She kind of is cold, maybe. Maybe she's kind of cold. And, you know, maybe that's her culture. Yeah, well, I mean, Polish is... But the funny thing is that when, as soon as we saw each other, it was like, we didn't even say nothing. She just jumped them.

Like, there was no words exchanged. She looked at me. She was crying when she looked at me, and she just hugged me so fucking hard that I was, you know, I was glad. But when we were... But when was that in jail, at the hospital yesterday? When did that happen? I'm confused.

Oh, no. The hospital thing, that was, when I called it, it was two days after me coming home from the house. Right, but when did she come and hug you and cry? Oh, no, because I told you we had the argument about breaking up over the phone. And I went over there to, in other words, either finalize it or fix it. Okay. And so you guys didn't talk.

You just embraced. She cried so you're back together now, but she's still acting weird. Now, mind you, we're still on the two-week part. Now, this was on a Thursday. Now, immediately that same week ending, that Sunday, we got into it again. About what? If I'm not mistaken, it was the way she was talking to me. It was like, yo, why are you acting so rude?

You didn't hit me up last night when you got home from work like you normally do. Like, well, what is it? And she just really didn't have an answer. And then she came out and said, you know what it is? I'm just stressed out. She was like, I'm stressed with school, I'm stressed with work. I'm stressed with my parents. She was like, I'm stressed with the fact that you don't want to have kids in the future and all this other shit.

So I didn't know that was on top of her mind, too. So when she came on and said it was over, now, she came on and said it was over on this Sunday time. Then I came on to her to listen, if our relationship means anything to you come over here. She came over here. She jumped in the cab and she came over here. Pretty much the same thing that happened at Thursday happened here. She broke down crying. But the difference is I got the explanation.

about the fear, about the mother or the father and all this other stuff. Like I found out a little more. So that's when I confided in her about my fear because in the fact that I was cheating on in my past relationship. I said, I said, I'm going to lose out to someone younger like I did before.

And I said, and I'm, I rather you tell me now than that happened. I said because I... Right, so this is, all the stuff that she's doing is triggering stuff in your past. And because something happened in your past, you're assuming that like all these little sort of things that are happening are I don't disagree with you I feel that's possible too I don't disagree with you I feel that's really possible because of the fact that a psychic might tell you that you're having the psychic vibes and yes it's going to happen but like a therapist might say you're just being triggered and all your insecurity is coming up because your your feelings are actually from what happened in the past I mean it could be very true that she's just freaked out by all this stuff this girl now not only goes to school She got a new job.

She's stressed out. She's really young. Those kind of things are stressful because it's like new for her. And Kathy, I have to interject that, you know, I once dated a Polish woman. And Eastern European women are like very cold and bland, you know. But that's the funny thing. She's never been like that. I mean, she left Poland at the age of four.

She was pretty much raised here. And the thing is she's always been raised around Hispanic. So that's pretty much why that's her problem. Okay. But is she comfortable? Let me ask you this. Is she comfortable showing, like, her vulnerabilities? Does she show herself when she's very, like, you know, vulnerable or upset about stuff?

I mean, around me, she always had. I mean, I wish I could show you, like, video recordings of us so you could see, like, wow. Like, honestly, I mean, I've had so many other people come up to us and how, and ask the question, which I wish I could say now, how is your relationship so goddamn perfect? because that's what people would say to us constantly. And all we look at each other and say is we talk, we communicate. We don't hide nothing from each other. We always tell what's on our mind.

We always speak the truth. There's nothing to hide. And I've always been, since it's been, you know, real and I feel this way, like, that's how I look at it. And then, you know, like I said, I can give you an example. She came, what's today? Thursday, right? She came Thursday, Thursday. She came through Thursday. She came over Tuesday.

She left work early. we spent actually a couple of hours together, you know, we watched the movie, I actually cooked dinner for her, you know, because I haven't been there in a while, so I cooked dinner for her, you know, sit there like that, and, you know, we made love, and she went home. And that day was perfectly fine. I mean, that was my baby girl, because that's the nickname I was baby, you know what I'm saying? She calls me her daddy, and I'm that baby girl. So when I tell you that day was exactly like I've always known her, I had no lie, no complaint. I'm talking about some text messaging to the phone call that night afterwards. everything was the normal way.

Wednesday, a little different. Not even 24 hours later, a little different. Morning is just... Right. Somebody, though, like you with a little trauma from your past, right, is going to any, like, littlest thing that shows that someone might be acting different or something is going to, like, trigger all that past stuff for you.

It doesn't necessarily mean, though, that anything's really wrong in the present. You know what I mean? It's like you're going back in time. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the stuff that she's acting slightly, different. It could be nothing. It could be just shit in her own life. But you, because you were cheated on and there was another guy, that's like what happens.

You get mind-fucked like that. It happens to women all the time because women are cheated on constantly too. That's what I'm like trying to try and trying to keep an in check really isn't easy, believe it or not, really isn't. And the sad part too is that I do know that right across the street from her job is a guy that used to be up her ass. Really? Yes. How long she's been at this job for?

It's just a coincidence that, you know, she just happened to get the job and, you know, this dude lives not even a block away. He lives like a thousand feet away. And he's way younger than me. Right. And so this is all your paranoia. You're going to start, I have a feeling that you're going to start stalking her soon. Have you sat outside and watched yet to see if she's going over to town?

No, believe it. I know. I haven't. Okay. But that's going to come next because this is only going on for two weeks. I understand your sort of neurotic thinking. I'm a little bit like that. I have girlfriends that are like that.

I never talked anybody outside of the crib. I never watched anybody. Yeah, but once you've been cheated on and lied and your trust is shattered, like you turn into a different person. That's what sucks about it. Like seriously. When I was cheated on by this one guy, like really only my one real boyfriend and he looked me straight in the face and completely lied.

and then I found out that he was lying and he was cheating on me. And I stayed with him and I became like the most distrustful person within the relationship with him. And then we broke up and he said, you know, I feel sorry for you because you're just like a crazy, untrustful bitch. And I was like, no way. Like this problem doesn't leave with me. Like it's your problem. I'm going to be fine once I leave you. But I actually wasn't.

Like, unfortunately, when you're in a relationship and your like your trust is like hugely shattered by somebody that you really. totally bought into. It mind fucks you for a while after. Like I thought I'd just leave him and I could just trust somebody else, but I kind of couldn't. And it's been a tough situation. And, you know, if I'm with someone that's trustworthy, it's one thing.

If I'm with someone that, you know, you have this girl, right, that was cheating on her boyfriend. And I know it was long distance or whatever, but on some level you know that that really was her boyfriend. So she was like lying to him, right? And knowing that and then having these little things and having your back history of, of, you know, that other girl cheating on you,

you're like a stalker in the making. I mean, it's like it's, no, it's just, these things are all planting seeds. I'm not helping him, Tommy. No, you're making it worse. Yeah, she's making it a lot worse. I mean, I will say. She's 20, she's how old is she?

Wait, wait, listen, what were you saying? No, I will say this. The last, the one that cheated on me, I was, that was actually my wife. You were together for 12 years. Yeah, that's hardcore. That's your wife. You know what I mean?

How old is this girl now? If you want to hear something funny, that's my best friend. She's still your best friend. Yes. And she was your best friend. And, you know, she just drove me home from work today. Right. But you don't, you don't...

That's to show you, like, in other words, yeah, it happened or whatever. But, you know, we're still, like, our mom is still there as far as, you know, we trust one another like that. I mean, I still know her bank account payments for crying out. Right, but that doesn't matter. You could trust her with money, but the fact that on some level, that your best friend and your wife, like, cheated on you. Betrayed you. That sits inside of you.

It just does, unfortunately. Like, I don't know how much you worked through it if you went to therapy or what you did about it. You stayed friends with her. But, like, that shit fucks with you and it travels with you. It's called baggage. But this girl is 21, you said? 24. 24.

But I've been lessons. I got from over at the age of 19. Right. He's known her for a while. He likes her, Tommy. I mean. She was going 19 on 20. I was 31 going on 32.

No. How old was your wife? Huh? How old? What's the age difference between you and your wife? Your ex-wife? Oh, my ex-wife, she's 32. I'm 37.

And she went for a younger guy, too, right? Is that what you said? Do you want to hear something funny? She's with a 20, the guy that she's with is 24. We're actually the same. Right. Right. Right.

Okay. You switched. Yeah. Exactly. the young guys, right. Exactly, yeah. Something like that. Exactly.

Yeah, so, but the fact that you're friends with her and everything's cool, that doesn't mean that you got past what she did with you. That is with you and yourself now. Like, you obviously, like, resolved it with her. But that kind of betrayal really fucks with your psyche, doesn't it? Tommy. Tommy, have you ever been cheated on? Like, hardcore?

No, Tommy was the cheater. This is what you've done to people, Tommy. This is the hard. When do you get your karma back? I got it back. You have? Yes. Okay.

Because you deserve it. Calm is a bitch. I know that for a fact. Right. Have you cheated? Are you a cheater? Are you a cheater, Jose? I used to be.

I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you. I was, I'm a hurt gigolo. You know, I was for a half minute. For me being a short guy, I got mine. I was actually the one that everybody who was taking would come to me to get their loss call. That's what was my job. You were like the booty call guy?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Tommy was that guy too. They were going to go to a fight with their significant other. They'll call me, run over here for a few hours, make up on the phone after they're done with me, and then go back. That's what it was. I felt I was more of a marriage counselor than I was a break up. They were like a sex counselor.

Yeah, they got into a fight. They came over. They had sex with me. They left. They probably felt guilty, and it made their love their significant other better. No, not guilty. Like, you would feel good. When I would always have long-term booty calls on the side and I would have a boyfriend or whoever I was dating

and when things went south with that person or I wasn't set with that person, I'd call it my booty cold guy and I'd see him and it make me feel better like I got a little revenge or whatever. And then I'd go back to my other guy that I really like. You're just using that guy. I know a lot of people do do that. See, this is the crazy part about me. But since we've been a couple since like we made it official, no logic, Kathy.

I don't look. I don't even try to talk to another bitch. Okay, but let me ask you this. Did you cheat on your wife? I cheated on my wife. in the first four years of our relationship because that was my first big relationship ever, and I didn't know how to act.

I didn't know how to act. I'm not going on. Right, you were young. You were with her for 15 years, right? Yeah. So the first four years, you cheated on her and looked her like crazy, but she never caught you. No, she found out.

You found out. And after that, after that, she found out that you cheated. She found out because I told the truth. I came clean. Okay, after four years, you came clean and you let her know. That was stupid. I couldn't think it.

Can you believe you let her know? No, I couldn't. I couldn't take the burden anymore. Looking at someone that you care about that you love like that, looking at them. Yeah, but no, but what do you mean? So just stop doing it. Like, there's something selfish in that. Like, you couldn't deal with the burden.

That was your burden. Why did you need to put it on her? Because then you planted a seat. She made me pay for an extra five years after that. Trust me, she didn't. Yes, I could imagine. No, it's never right. There's something very selfish about telling somebody that you cheated on them.

Just stop fucking cheating. That whole feeling of like, oh, I have to tell somebody. that's like a very selfish thing like you couldn't be burdened first of all you had tons of great sex behind your wife's back for like five years i'm giving you like the riot act now and then you you know and then you didn't then you feel bad about it and you didn't want to like any those are your fucking consequences so because you didn't want to feel bad and you wanted to feel better you told your wife and then she feels like shit so you could feel better like how is that right that's like so returred like i kid you not i was like a a caged animal for five years after that. You deserve that. And then she cheated on you. And you deserved it.

I didn't go nowhere. I didn't go out. And then she fucked you over. But then she did. She fucked me over about seven years after. Because we thought of fighting. Yeah. So five years she made sure she got you back.

And then she was like, see you later. How did you find out she was cheating on you? You know, she got tired of supposed to be a repetitive. is we're too. Basically, which was working, coming home, working, coming home. I'm like, not fun. That's what you guys was. We're supposed to be in the street all the time.

We're not young like that. No, but listen, that's how a lot. You were, you guys were with, listen, you were with her, you guys were together from a very young age for 15 years. I feel like anyone would get bored of the same relationship. Like I said too, Mama, when she met me, okay, I was the hitman

in my neighborhood. You got to understand. You, I mean, you should know, you see a lot of hood movies. You see what I They just know how you get the love when you come to the hood. Niggers and bitches, they all come to you. You got like 50 people all in your crib because they love hanging out with. That was me.

Right. I was the center of attention. When she would come walking down to the block, everybody knew. Oh, fuck with. That's Asian's girl. I mean, Jose's girl. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

So everybody knew already. You know what I was. But then you weren't that guy anymore. You got clean. You cleaned up your act. You became faithful. She kind of missed that. The dude that she's with now,

has the same repertoire. Right. She likes bad guys and she reformed you to be a good guy and then she wasn't interested anymore. You know how many times that happens all the time? She wants to set herself up to get hurt again. Yeah.

She needs to get cheated on again. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And then the funny thing is that this, you know, Kelly is like she likes the bad boys with a good heart. This girl, this new girl. That's the first thing she told me, like the first week we were hanging out of all this. And she was like, I already see that you're a bad boy.

I just hope you got a good heart. She was like, because for some reason, you're not talking. I said it's going to be a while before you even get the treatment on me. You know, but ask me now, you know what it means? I wish I had the money to just tell that girl, quit. I'll pay for everything. You know, I'll fucking do whatever it takes. Believe it or not, I'm so in love with this girl that I would want to marry her already.

I know, but you guys have a lot of issues you have to go through. I feel like she's the one, you know what I mean? Because I don't know how better to explain it, but for someone to just come, into my life and adapt to me because it wasn't easy. And now all of a sudden, all my interests or her interest. It's like, wow, you know, where the fuck was she,

you know, 10 years ago? You know what I'm saying? But 10 years ago, she was a fucking instant. You know what I mean? Well, he was a baby, so that's obvious you is. But it was like, wow. And, you know, when someone tells you, you know, God, you're a dream,

you're a God's dream to me. Like, I wish I had, I could text same to you all the taxes because, unfortunately, they race after a while. So you would see Oh, the stuff that she sends you? Yeah, and I'm telling you. That's how she talks to you?

Yeah. And, you know, it's, I'm getting talked up because the fear inside is so dramatic and I don't want to have this fear. It's like I don't see, I don't physically see the reason to have it, but it's fucking killing.

Right. No, because you're nervous because of what happened in the past, but I don't believe that that's definitely happening right now. You just have to, but you have to make sure that you don't sabotage. You have to make sure. sure that you don't start putting all your

nuttiness onto her. Like you can have your nuttiness and your stuff and your hat and stuff, but you have to, like, give her breaks. People are allowed to act like a little bit different for a month or something. You don't know what I mean? You've been with her for like five years. Like you have to you don't want to push her away by

being like a constant nag and I'm paying the ass and you start to keep following her. That's called sabotage. Yeah, I don't want to do that either. That's what I'm trying really hard. I'm trying to find a way to, you know, to skateboard the feeling worse or the Buddha feeling And even if it's temporarily just for now, just so I could somehow have a rational thought about all this shit.

Right. It's hard to get yourself back when you're thinking, when you're spiraling out of control in your head with crazy thoughts from, like, traumatic experiences in the past. It's hard to get back to reality. But really, all you have to do is, like, talk that shit out. Like, does that, do you have any friends that you, like, could talk to, like, for real, like, about this kind of stuff like you're talking to us?

Yeah, I wish. No, right. I know it's hard for guys. No, it's guys only have, if you do have one, it's only one person. Right, but most guys don't have a girlfriend. Like, you don't have a support network. I used to have a bunch of girlfriends that I would talk to like that,

but I just kept away from them after I made her my girl. All right. What about your ex-wife? Do you talk to her about your girl? Certain things. And you know what bothers me, too, because my ex-wife, I'm not going to front, she's pretty good at shit.

And a lot of the things that she mentioned that I didn't even say that she was doing, she's doing. she's doing. She was like, hey, you know, she was like, I'm just going to say this, you know, you got to look at the small pictures. And I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, well, if the taxes aren't as feet as they used to be

or if they're not as long as they used to be, the bone cold aren't long as they used to be. Oh, stop. It's only two weeks. Give it, just breathe and give it a little time. But my thing is, okay, it's only two weeks. And if that's the case of why was it so. easy to cast me aside first.

What do you mean? Like, in other words, that Sunday when it happened, you know, I mean, no, I'm sorry. I'm actually forgetting because we made up that Sunday. It happened really on Saturday, and Saturday we were broken up at $6.00 the whole fucking day. I mean, he didn't make up until 4 o'clock in the morning Sunday. And why was it so easy for her to pay? It's over. I can't. It wasn't easy. You're the one that dumb turn? It was only 24 hours or 48 hours, then she was crying by the time you went back. You don't know that it was easy. She just wasn't chasing after you.

Don't get me wrong when she was on the phone. She was like, you're mine. You always will be mine. I almost made the worst mistake of my life. Right. So how is she not, how is she not like letting you go? Like seriously, you didn't give it enough time. You ran back to her, not even like two days later,

and you got her back and she was crying and she was happy to be back with you. I think you're not looking at the situation properly. I think your ex-wife is bad for you because she's planting worse. in your head. I think half the call of this call I was planting bad seeds in your head too. But I'm just going to tell you when you get these, like you just need to give it a little bit longer and just wait and see what how she's going to act. She could like to turn into the normal girl again two weeks from now. You don't know. You just need to ride it out a little bit and not do anything that would push her away because then you're never going to know. You're going

to be like, do we break up because I was an asshole or do we break up because she wanted to break up? You're never going to know if you become just an annoying now. you know fighting asshole and then then what happens she breaks up with you because she can't handle it plus her parents don't like you i mean the odds are against you if you want to keep her you kind of have to keep your mouth shut and you did you have a conversation did you say hey babe like why have you not been texting as much like you seem distant and she just she answered you and she said it's like she's just stressed out right that's what she said but at the same time you don't believe I feel like what's so stressful in a sense, you know what I mean?

But again, I'm not the one going to school and working far time. Yeah, you're not 23 years old. You don't remember what it's like. When you're 23, a lot of stuff is stressful. Real life is stressful. You know what I mean? I remember when I was 23, my life wasn't stressful. I was just working, living with a woman paying bills and having fun.

Yeah, but girls are dramatic. I was 23 once, and it's, like, stressful in a different way. Like, things, everything is a big thing. You know, real life is, like, difficult. And things move so much faster when you're younger, you know, they move, you know, they change every day. Yeah, two weeks for her is like five seconds. Two weeks for you is like your whole life you think everything's all over, which I totally get. But you guys are kind of living in different worlds.

Oh, geez, because I'm that much older. Kind of. 37 is very different than 23. When I was 40, I was banging a 25-year-old. And I'm going to tell you, it's like there's a difference. You know, she's just like she's a student. She's working part-time. There's like, you know, it's a different phase of life.

But she's moving more into your life, which is more of an adult world, because now she's getting a job. She's going to graduate school. And then you guys will be dealing as adults. But right now, like, you're on a little bit of a different page with that. Well, I mean, actually, we're both kind of like big page. I'm not a lot of you. I'm not sure. But you're not a, right, you're not mature either.

You're dating a 23-year-old. So obviously on some level, you guys are emotionally at this, like, you know, it works. but you're still been in the world longer than her. I can't see myself with anyone my age for the simple fact, not because of looks, because if I could find someone... You guys can. If I could find someone in my 30s that would be just like her, then that's fine. And what I mean just like her is because, okay,

I'll give you a little open view of my little kidness. Even though I'm, you know, somewhat of a, you know, thugs, somewhat, you know, regular adult, I do have this little nerd side that I see hidden. I mean, you can't even tell that I got that shit in me. So the nerd part of me is basically I'm a video game junkie. I'm an animated junkie and I'm also a comfortable big junk. Now, not letting those three things really don't go good with women, okay? Let's be for real.

I mean, for you to find a gorgeous woman that likes all that three is an even a haste. Now, believe it or not, I got like. Girls like anything that their guys like. I mean, in the beginning, like if a girl likes a guy in the beginning, she's not going to care. Maybe later down the line after a couple of years, she's going to be like, turn that anime stuff off, you nerd or something. You know, who knows? Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to, I mean, I'm a big, I'm not going to lie.

I'm so bad with it, so pretty that my right arm is tattooed with some of my anime characters that I like from the show. Okay, but you know what? Girls like, I think that's a good mix. I think a lot of girls like a bad boy that has a nerdy side. I mean, that's not such a so bad. So what were you going to say? So she's, like, really great to you.

I get why you like her. I'm not saying that you need to be dating someone older. think that she's great for you. Everything that you said, like, you want to marry her. Like, this is the girl for you. Like, all that is okay. I'm just saying, don't sabotage your relationship because you're getting a little crazy and nothing's really happened yet.

And patience. You have to have patience. Yeah, it's two weeks. I mean, it's not like you're saying eight months. Things have been weird in the past six months. She's been distant and stuff. You know, you're saying two weeks and you're getting yourself into a tizzy. And I know you think she has another guy, right?

Is that what you're freaking out of? I won't say that she has someone else. I feel like someone's talking and she's talking back. Yeah, and that happens nowadays with text and everything, like forget about it. You know what I mean? But, like, what can you do about that? Well, I mean, to me, honestly, you shouldn't have no other dude's numbers. I mean, I don't have no other females' numbers.

Totally. No, I'm not saying that it's right. I'm saying that, unfortunately, that's what's so scary about being in a relationship, right? And that's what trust is all about. Like, you have to just trust somebody. I don't know. to trust that that other person isn't doing those things because really in reality anyone could be

doing anything that they want. And that's what I'm so upset of myself to. There's no reason to me not to. I guess what? Not to what? Not to trust her. That's the fucking thing that's no. It's because she was cheating on her boyfriend when you first met her. You have that in your head. Doesn't that tell you something about her? Yeah, that that is.

But she fucking told me so many times I'm not him. You know, she was like, you know. Right, but on, but some law part of you doesn't like believe it doesn't matter any to some part of you like the lover in you the vulnerable person that loves her and you it none of that matters you know

she cheated on a guy for a while with you and was just fucking you and so you know she's capable of that so that's tough so it's just coming up now because you're going she's acting a little bit weird that doesn't mean that she's not a good girl to date it doesn't mean that she's cheating on you now it just means that in the future if you wind up with this girl

you're going to be a little like this whenever something happens and that's what I'm scared of too I don't know but don't but just don't sat don't like this is what people need to understand is like you have the feelings and think the thoughts and but don't act on them

you know have a and have a conversation with her every now and then when you're not sort of in that crazy moment just to gauge where she's at because tomorrow she could just be texting you like everything's normal and maybe there was guy and he was around but things didn't work out like you don't know what's going on

but like you know you don't want to push her away by being a pain in the ass no that's the last thing I want to do because this last thing I want to try and do is start over with somebody else I swear if I got to start over with somebody else I'm just going to live off a fucking hooker I can't I can't start over again I just can't I can't invest

time and effort to just be fucking hurt again yeah Tommy would Tommy has his kid unfortunately here today and he's been not on half the call because if Tommy heard that thing about you're just going to give up and be with hookers he would be all over that right now um so yeah no that's like hilarious but like you know i don't go to that place like you're going to like uh like the end of everything like really quickly when it's only two and that's like i said is you're

just trauma from your past and you just have to let that play out and get a little neurotic in your head and i find the best thing when you're getting like neurotic is to call someone up and talk to them but like you know that's easier for girls and for guys. So you know, you're talking to us. So you think maybe I might be like just acting neurotic in a sense, creating a simple. Yes, yeah, you don't know for sure.

You might be right, you might not. Like you just don't know until you know. So, yeah, should you be on guard and kind of watch because something's up? Yeah, yeah. But should you? My question to you, Kevin, and how would I know without if,

even if she's going to give me an answer, that's still not me knowing. You know what I mean? know eventually more. Like you have to keep watching the behavior. You need more time than two weeks. This is what you need to do, Jose, okay? Because our calls are ready. We only keep our call for an hour and we're getting closed appointments. We have to talk before and after. So we have to end this call. No, no, it's okay. It's okay. What you need to do is we need to have this call like at two months. Do you understand? Two months, like a month and a half from now or a month, like whatever you could take. That's when we need to have a

real call about what's going on. And then we can, and then you'll have a lot more information of what she's been doing and what two weeks is just not enough. It's, it's a pebble in time, you know, you need to see a large scale of events to happen to really,

you know, be able to analyze for us to say, oh, she's cheating on you or she's definitely not or whatever. She did one thing. It's not right. This is more, this,

unfortunately, this call is more about like you and your past because like, why would somebody be so crazy after two weeks? You know what I mean? It becomes more about that. But I do want to help you and I want to with this thing, but I think that you just need to chill out, give it like another, like a month or another couple of weeks,

and just watch, just observe, like seriously, just observe what's going on, make notes, write shit down so you could remember correctly, and then let's have a conversation. But don't, you know, don't start acting different with her because then what happens is she'll start acting more cold to you and you won't know what it's for because maybe you're just being a pee in the ass. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, true. You just need a little bit more time. You need to let this go on and see that she doesn't come out of this funk. So on my part, I shouldn't change anything. In other words, keep calling, keep texting, like, everything's fine. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. But notice what happens. Don't be done.

Like, you're not, I'm not saying be a dormant. If she's not texting you back 10 times in a row, like, don't keep texting her. I don't know how you operate, but, like, that's not cool. When we have work, I mean, when we're both at work, we really can't text each other like that, except when we have the opportunity. But when she's in school or, like, waiting to go into class, she'll be talking to me a lot unless she's similar with women and a girlfriend or something. Right. So that's fine. Absolutely.

Keep everything. Just keep going. Yeah. And also, I mean, once you pull back a little bit and you don't text her a lot or call her all the time, just, you know, show a little, you know, a little pull back, a little reserve. She's going to sit there and say, whoa, what's going on? you know, why is he texting me 50 times a day and it's going to pick up? You know what I mean? She's going to start getting on you.

Right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. So just be yourself. Let her be stressed out. Let her be 23 in the middle of her first life crisis. That's what happens in your 20s.

Like you don't remember because you're just in a different place. I remember I was a 23-year-old girl. It's stressful in a ridiculous way, but it's stressful. for them. That's how it was for us. Definitely. Okay? So this is what we need to do. You need to give it one more month and then we need to have another call. Okay.

Or two weeks. Listen, if in two weeks something like major comes down and you have a lot more information and you're like, oh, this bitch for a month, like there's been a lot of stuff more than two weeks. Like then we have a conversation. You know what I mean? Yeah. But this is like a conversation about your neuroticness about, you know, two weeks. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay. Okay. No problem. That sounds about right now. Okay, so just try to chill out for now. Try to not have many fights with her. Try not to think

fatalistic. And when you do, just work it out on your head and don't call her or use the phone as a weapon because that's when a phone could become a weapon. Yeah, true. Do you know what I mean? No sabotaging. No sabotaging, Jose, in the meantime. But we'll do. But we're not. We're going to be. No sabotaging. We'll have another call with you in a couple weeks, but you just have to, like, when something major happens or you just can't take it anymore, and things haven't changed. All right. Sounds good to me. I was just about to say that. Okay.

Okay, cool. We'll talk soon. Good luck. I don't think she's, their jury's still out. We don't know. 50-50 chance. Okay. Well, I just hope it's all in the head.

Yes. Me too. I do, too, for your sake. That's all I could say. Yep. Well, thanks a lot. I do appreciate you. Okay.

Okay, Jose, we'll talk to you again. See you later, buddy. All right, man. Take it easy. Bye. Those are too confusing. But let's just talk about it real quick. All right.

You weren't even on half the call. Sorry. He's an older guy. She's a younger Polish chick. She works at, you know, at Petland. And, you know, and he's been so severely hurt in the past. So every little snippet, he's trying to, you know, just harp on. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. He's reading too many signs and he's reading them the wrong way. He's dating a 23-year-old girl who's, you know, going through her things. Yeah, and he's over-paranoid because of what happened to him with his wife and because he was a cheater and because she cheated on him. So he's just getting paranoid, but I don't know. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. We don't know.

We don't know. So let's see what happens in two weeks to a month and let's see if he's right or he's just being crazy. But should we even air this? I don't know. Why not? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe we wait until he calls back. I don't know.

It was a very confusing call for me. I didn't really understand. He was very confusing. Was he? Absolutely. I think it's because it's all in his head. He was just like crazy. He didn't know what he wanted.

And he didn't, you know what I mean? I think what the problem was is that he thinks his girl is cheating on him. And he doesn't know how to deal with it. Like really, that's all we talk. Yeah, and he's petrified. I think that we should have just focused on this, but it just got so twisted. I don't know. My brain hurts.

Until next time. I got to go. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

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