Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 033 - Photographer Andrew Einhorn Teaches You How to Get Regular Women Naked

Episode Date: July 28, 2014

Photographer Andrew Einhorn has made a career out of finding regular women on the street and talking them into getting totally naked for him. How does he know who to approach? How does he get them��to agree to get undressed? Has he ever had sex with any of the women he's shot? Listen in to hear the answers as well as some behind the scene scoopage.  Andrew has published three books; Naked Happy Girls, Bubble Bath Girls and Coast to Coast and his TV show Naked Happy Gilrs airs on the Playboy channel. You can check out some of his hot shoots here: http://vimeo.com/nakedhappygirls **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your free flag lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and check. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Okay, hey, welcome strictly anonymous podcast. It's just Kathy today, no Tommy.

I used to have a co-host named Tommy. I have an in-studio guest because everyone loved our last in-studio guest. We had a drag queen on, drag queen named Phil. Oh, our new guest is making a fucking face. What's a beast for? Drag queens went out in 1984. I'm a little tired of that. Nothing personal.

Really? But I think that RuPaul's Drags brought them back into style. you don't think. Rupal, you still live in my building in the West Village on a Morton Street. Hi, Roo, how are you? You kind of sound like a drag queen. I mean, you're not, I mean, you have that flair about you when you talk. Okay, flare, yes, voice and legs, no.

Right, but you look like a dude. He looked like a dude, too. He didn't even come in full drag, is that kind of fucked out. Yes. So anyway, let me introduce you. Okay. And, I mean, because this is Andrew Einhorn. He's not going to be anonymous.

Do you want to be anonymous? No, I want to be Andrew Einhorn of naked, happy girls. That's me. I am one. Yes, he's from Naked Happy Girls, which is on Playboy. It was a Playboy on TV. It's not on anymore, right? Does that channel even exist?

It's still on. It repeats. People see me daily in the street. They say, oh my God, that episode last night was so good. Would you have the woman and she take off and then she don't like you? Her boyfriend show up, but he's so good. Your house says you good job. Oh, my God.

You're not performing. You're like kind of performing. I know, but I'm imitating the Spanish men who recognize me more than anyone else. Okay, just don't be like my drag queen because he was very on. Do you know what I mean? And so we want Andrew Einhorn, the real person behind naked, happy girls, the guy who gets girls on the street in New York. He just meets them.

This is what he does. He literally accosts women on the streets of New York, hot women of all races, sizes. He's not interested in that word. That was a bad word. That's a little harsh. Okay. He goes up to women on the street and he talks them into going back to their apartment and getting totally naked and taking pictures of them.

And they're arty pictures. Sure. Totally. Not too arty that they're not sexual. They're like, you know, like Spencer Tunic, he's just real arty. You're arty, but they're sexy too. They're both. I straddle the line between art and pornography.

As many people have said, as we've, we've. Oh my God, you're still on. Can you just talk like a regular person? I know, Andrew. And this is how I got him on my podcast as I was on a bike ride the other day. And I drove right past Andrew. And I was like, oh shit, I should get him on the show. And then you turned around to talk to me.

But you didn't talk like this when we were talking on our bikes. That's who I want. I just want that person to just talk regularly. Okay, I will be a generic human. Not generic. Listen, you couldn't be generic if you tried. Andrew is a complicated. I say neurotic.

He doesn't think neurotic. Interesting. Creative. I've seen some one person shows of yours that worked. Fucking amazing. Oh, that's nice. It was just one, but you're brilliant. You're really brilliant and creative.

what we're going to talk about I mean we'll probably get into all kinds of things but we'll talk about like I think what most of we want to know is how the hell do you talk women into and how did that start you know on the street literally right it's not like because they show it on the Playboy show right that you like

I mean that's I know it's for the show but before you did that you have a whole book here I do I have two books both books came out before I did the show one of the books led to the show if not both the first book is called Naked Havis The second is called Bubble Bath Girls and Naked Happy Girls is what we decided to name the show on Playboy to keep the theme going. Because in generally they are naked and they are happy and part of the thing that makes me, me, is the ability to find women who are generally happy and make them smile on camera.

Whereas most naked pictures tend to be a little posed or diva-esque, if you will. And I love the natural. As a matter of fact, my subtext says New York undressed, sex. sexy, private, home, innocent, natural, sunny, erotic, real, and playful. And they are all true. It is true. That is your, I mean, I remember when you had the party for the, when your book came out, and then you had a party at your apartment when the show came out.

But before, like, you did the book and before, you were really just going up to women on the street, somehow get, like, how did that happen, or how did that start, how do you get that idea? I came to New York in 94 and was instantly wowed by the most beautiful, women from around the world who come here. And I was starting to do nudes in Philadelphia at the time. And just seeing all these women, I started slowly and shyly asking some if they'd be willing to pose for me. I had no intention of making a book or a television show at the time.

And my confidence grew, as some agreed and most didn't. And everyone says, well, what's your percentage? And I would say, oh. You don't pay people. Have you ever? Yeah, lots. Oh, really? Unfortunately, the more famous I get,

the more I have to pay people. Oh, but I mean before. No, from 95 to 2003, I didn't pay a soul. And that was the, it was a beautiful thing because, yes, I would stop them on the street. I would do my best to schmooze. And if you want to know the psychology of that, it's just. We do. People do, I think.

Of course they do. Regular guys do. Yes. What is the psychology? Because you figured it out. I mean, that's like most guys. Well, I figured it out for me. I'm different than anybody else.

If you asked a naked woman or a guy if they wanted to pose naked for you, you might have a totally different approach. I'm just generally a nice guy. They have said, used the word disarming a lot, which I like. Charming, if you will, handsome, athletic. There's a lot of words, and I'm not kidding that they've used to describe me.

But I personally, to start a conversation, will usually instantly size up a woman and try to find something to comment on, to notice, and it could be her hair, her eyes, her ethnicity. That's probably one of my favorite things ever because I'm genuinely interested.

and in New York you have such exotic mixes and I'll look at someone and in two seconds think you might be an Indian Irish I feel like that's the way. I feel like you approached me at one of our mutual friends party the same way I mean that's what you do that's what you're because that's is generally what you're interested in

yeah well their ethnicity yeah totally no I mean you're figuring that kind of shit out though seriously yeah and anything else it could be a bracelet it could be your your nail polish or the shoes that you have on your feet anything that a woman is wearing or smiling her face, the way she plucks her eyebrows, says something about her. And I want to instantly find a connection and make light, charming conversation. And I can see what they're like

in a matter of seconds. How do they respond to me? Do they have this, oh, God, there's some guy, or is it, oh, this person's funnier. They notice something that other people don't. Or a lot of women seem to respect the fact that you have guts to come up to them and start a conversation. Totally. And you're not, because I think that people could always smell intention. Do you know what I mean, especially women, because women are accosted by men, really accosted, you know, that just want to bang them or whatever on the street all the time. And most of the time, New York women are very, you know, they could smell that from a mile away and they want nothing to do with it. So you must go in, because you know what you're looking for. You're looking

to do this arty thing with them, right? I mean, it's not like you're trying to bang them. I mean, that's where, those are questions for later. Okay. Okay, because you did make a face when I said that. Because I feel like if you come to, if you go to women with that in mind, She might get that vibe. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Right? Yes.

You agree? That's a part of the psychology. Like you don't go there until later. Like maybe if you're connecting with someone, I'm sure you've had sex with. I don't know how many pages of people in that book. Three and a half. That's it? Come on.

How many people have you fucked that you took pictures of? Well, in this book it was three and a half. And then the percentages go down because I become older and older and they stay the same age. So when I'm 42 and they're 25, the chances go a little bit less. If you had a lot of cash, you could be $60. I mean, you know, it doesn't matter. I do have cash and I will be 62, so. Right.

And if you have a little fame and stuff, the age doesn't matter, Andrew. Do you know that? I'm happy to hear. Of course. It doesn't matter sometimes. No, it matters more for men with women, but not women with men. Come on. Okay, great.

I'm very happy to hear this because I imagine that at 60, I'll have a kid and I'd like it with a 33-year-old. Yeah, that could happen. Well, you're not going to get a kid with a 60-year-old or a 50-year-old. True. Maybe not even a 45-year-old, but, you know, a 33-year-old would be right. Yeah, no, I mean, come on, women, it's a different kind of a thing age. It's unfortunate. We could talk about that for a fucking hour because it's like a little unfair for women.

But I think the fact that, you know, younger guys are banging older women like crazy, it's even the playing field and it's, you know, that's a good thing. Yeah. Because I like younger men too. Sure. Do you know what I mean? Like, who doesn't look at someone younger and, you know, and doesn't want to be like, oh, that's so much more attractive.

Of course. Than me and you, right? Even though we're very attractive people. Exactly. But so, yeah, I mean, So what is the age range that you go for? Like, I mean, both of these books that you have here, I've seen a lot of your stuff, because I've known you over the years.

And, but you take pictures of all different kind of women. I mean, you see beauty, right, in, like you say, all different ethnicities, all different, or is it just like you have to be totally hot to be in your book now? No, not at all. As a matter of fact, part of the thing I feel like that makes me special is I will see women that other people don't see attractive, maybe at first glance. Totally. And I know that, wow, that person, I bet you if I did this and this and this, that I could make her beautiful.

And I think of one specific example. I was working or a friend of mine had an office in Fifth Avenue and 20th Street. And right next to his office was like a paper shop. And there was three generically pleasant women there. And there was one little nerdy Indian woman who just didn't show sex appeal. Right. But I liked her skin color, her body mannerisms. And I started on this path.

and I could tell deep underneath she had this sexual side to her. Totally. I'm an artist and I live in Queens and yes, I work in this paper shop, but I might be open. So after a couple weeks or a month, I don't remember what it was. We ended up doing a shoot and it was one of my favorite ones ever. But, okay, where do you go from like a couple extra weeks? A couple, we do a shoot. Like what do you say to that Indian girl in that paper store to open up the conversation?

Very pleased to meet you. I like your vagina very much. Could I perhaps get you naked? No, that's what I said to her. No, I didn't say that. To be honest, that was seven years ago, and I can't remember exactly what I said. But I think I'm sure I guessed her background to begin with. And after that.

And then you go into like what you do for a living or this is what you do. And then. Yes, absolutely. Pretty quickly. I want to tell someone that, well, I might chew weddings in bar mitzvizvahs, but I also do naked photography and I have a book and I have a TV show and look how great I am. But I'm also the kind. charming, disarming man who would love to spend some time in an nephew.

Do you say this kind of, do you pull this kind of, so that you're like funny, you make a joke? Comedy is huge. That's what I'm saying, right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So you do do this when you, so that women. Oh, I do it. Yeah, I think that that's smart.

I want to be as funny as I can right off the bat because it's another disarming thing. And women like funny guys. And in addition to my good looks and work that I have to show them, it helps. Right, exactly. And now, so what would the girls get out of it before you started paying them? Like, would they get the pictures? you? Yeah, at the beginning I was shooting all film and it was a little more awkward. I might say I'll make you five, eight by ten prints, or I'll give you a copy of this or that. I also shoot a lot of video,

which is really vital to what I do. And unfortunately, a lot of women don't want to do any video. It crosses this invisible line of, well, it's not pictures anymore. It's more porn-esque if it's video. And that's very unfortunate because I use video like I use still pictures. And I try to talk to them and make them like real women. And I use this as a line. I say, you know, if I can hear you speak and talk, you'd become three-dimensional instead of this fashion thing where you're a pretty woman who's naked. Let's talk to you. And you can tell me about your boyfriends and girlfriends and your cat and where you bought that lamp and your furniture and what do you want to do in life.

And it works for most and not everyone. So that's what you did on your show, right? I mean, you could only get women that we're going to be on the video. And you think that you could get, I feel like for sure people are more attractive if you hear them talk if you see how they move you know i can't stand myself in a flat picture like i i you can't just get who i am and you're not flat at all you're a very curvacious woman and can i say first of all i don't know if this is common for everyone else but kathy asked me to take my clothes off before the interview so i'm sitting her naked on her chair it's comfortable and the room is beautiful but i just didn't know if this is me or everyone else

No, I thought, you know, because the title of the show is probably going to be naked happy girls, I figured we'd have naked happy guys just to even out the score. I did get the URL naked happy boys as well as naked happy men thinking that my huge conglomerate would take off their pants, and then it never really happened. But I think I still have that. Oh, you do? Just in case. You never took nudes of guys.

I've done couples, a lot of couples. I'd say between 13 and 21. and it's a totally different experience. It's okay. Not as good as the one-on-one with a woman, but it's not bad. And if a woman is more comfortable to be with her boyfriend or mistress or Mr. or whatever it is, that's fine with me. Oh, so you've approached, how did you get into the couples?

Was it like you approached a woman and she said, hey, do you mind if my boyfriend involved? Or you thought, oh, I'm going to do couples and went out and asked couples on the street? I don't remember, but our friend Spencer probably had a role in it because he's always looking to be a little more accepted into the art world. to tell people who you're talking about, right? Might as well. He's unmentionable. I don't care. Spencer Tunic is an artist who's also a friend of mine and he travels around the world

photographing large groups of naked people. Yeah, Google him. We call them installations. Yes, Spencer Tunic. Mass nude. They're beautiful. His stuff is very arty. It's gorgeous.

It's breathtaking. Landscapes with tens of thousands of people within an urban or country environment, making shapes and patterns and bringing attention to. So too much. That's true. It's awesome. You're a kid. I'm moving my hand in a sexual wave as I say this, and that's why Kathy likes it.

Like caressing the back of a woman over her tuchus, working my way down her legs. You're so chewy. If the show goes well. Took us. I wonder if I say, yes, you're ass. Okay, so go on. But Spencer Tuneck. He surely said it's a good idea to shoot couples.

And I said, that's fine. And he might have said, here's three. Go do them and start this trend. And I did it. And it was okay. And if a woman wouldn't want to shoot with me by herself, I will say, well, do you have a boyfriend or something? Let's do that. That's fine.

At least then she gets naked and I still make to create pictures, which is the main intention of the whole thing. Right, exactly. Do you have couples in those books? I've never seen any of your couple work. I will show you. I don't have it in these books. No, this is just naked. We're going to post some pictures of your books and stuff on my Facebook.

Maybe we'll post some pictures of your work too as well. I mean, of course, we'll plug your website. People can check it out because they're going to want to see your text. My vimeo.com slash naked happy girls page. Awesome. But wait, let me ask you this because I once took naked pictures with a friend of mine. But it was a guy that I bang before. You know, it was like a long-term booty-call guy.

And I was like, you know, I forget how old I was. But I was like, oh, before I hit the wall on my body, I'm like, I should take some naked shots. Like, I'd be into it. And I felt comfortable with this guy because I had sex with him so many times. So me and him did a whole shoot for hours. And then, you know, I think because I fooled around them before, like we fooled around afterwards. And I hadn't fucked him in years, but it was just because the nature of being naked with them for so long that at the, you know. So, but with women that don't know you, right?

Yes. Like, how does it start off? Like, first of all, you say you've only screwed three and a half in that one book. But how many over time, like, what's the percentage of how many girls? Why? Is that an irritating question? Oh, everybody. I wish people could see your face.

He just made a face like, ugh, why are you asking me this? Does everyone ask you this? It puts more of such a sexual dimension as if I'm just doing it to have sex with them. We know that you're not. I'm just wondering. Right. How many? You want a percentage or you want a number?

I mean. You know the number? Of course. People ask me all the number. No, I don't really know the number. I'm just kidding. I could only guess. It was three and a half in this and it was two and this.

How many women in that book? 35, I believe. Oh, okay. Because it looks like it's 800. It's 800. It's 800. Three out of 800. It's three out of 35.

Yeah. Oh, that's a good percentage. People say, well, what's the half? And I might make out with one fondle another, spank another, tickle another. So that's a lot in between? No, in the threes, did you seal the deal? That half represents anything non-sex. Oh, so that could be ten halves.

It could. Oh, okay, interesting. Three total all the way, home runs. Any anal with any of them? No. Okay, and then one, maybe 20 other things. Would oral count? in that half?

Yes, it would. Really? So you might have got a lot of blow jobs. No, I think there was two of those. Okay. And then does it normally the hookup happen right there and then? Or how many times have you like teak in that day and, you know, I mean it's always right there and then. It is.

They don't want to see me again after that. That's it. Jeez, you're exhaustive. They're like, my God, you gave me alcohol and pot and music and I danced and I laughed and you had me run around and you never stop. And my God, I've exhausted a lot of women. It's a long, tough shoot. That's why maybe at the end they just have this, you could see it in their eyes and feel it.

I just had an experience about a month ago. I photographed like a punk rock Japanese woman and ended up fooling around with her. Just about everything except the home run. Really? Like total oral 60, like everything. Correct. But she was like, don't wait, but she was like,

don't put it inside? Like, why didn't you screw? Did you not have a condom? No, she didn't seem to want to go that far. Oh, interesting, but everything else. Actually, I gave her the oral sex and she did not give it to me. Really? Yes.

Little disappointing, but not the end of the world. It was a lot of fun to play with her. You know, I was sort of like the nerdy Dom and I tied her up at one point as well. For the shoot or afterwards just for fun? It was a little of both because it was mostly for fun, but I would pick up the camera. I did it back and forth. You know, I would shoot a little, play a little, shoot a little, play a little. How did she give you the okay that that was cool to do?

Who started it? I did. You did? You can tell. I mean, I think I'm good at reading people and there's something in their eyes or body language. Right. I think a few glasses of champagne and having her take a warm shower in a dress and take off the dress, melted her a little bit.

Right. That was a part of the shoot. That was a part of the shoot. Right. And then afterwards, I think I was just sort of, I like to see if people are ticklish because I kind of enjoy that. So I think I was sort of playing with that aspect. and she seemed to be enjoying that. And it was just sort of evolved from there.

But you've tickled other naked women that haven't given you the okay, like you would tickle them? Non-shoots or just? No, shoots. Oh, not a lot. Yeah, that would be a little weird for me if I'm taking pictures with someone. No, no, no, no. This could be only at the end if we were having fun

and you could tell things may have moved on from there. But that happens pretty seldomly. All right, but you said before pot, drinks, champagne, like, do you give the, so that they could, like, loose it up? Well, it's a requirement. I say going in. Listen, we're going to drink. Oh, really?

You're going to get drunk. You're going to get high. But what if you meet someone like me on the street and I don't do anything? I'm kidding. Right. They don't have to do anything. No, as a matter of fact, I say in my email before I come, would you like me to bring flowers, bagels, champagne, marijuana, or snickers, you know? Right.

Hey, I could go any of these ways. I want to make you happy. Right. Kathy, what will make you comfortable and happy? Right, right. And then when they come over to your house or like. No, I go to them. Oh, right.

Yes, you go to them and you shoot them in their home so that they're comfortable. I think that that's really smart. I love it. I love it. This is something that's very special for me. I love to go to different people's homes because it's a new set. There is different light and different backgrounds. There's so many reasons why it's great, and I'm almost surprised that more people don't do it.

Some women will be like, well, where's your studio? No studio. You want me to shoot you in a white box? Right. This has no meaning. I want to come to you and see your building and your bicycle and your lamps and your couches and your pillows and pictures and earrings. You do.

Kathy has beautiful Indian-esque opal turquoise earrings, which after we're done, I'm going to lay them around her naked body and do detailed shots of her ass, her feet, her breasts, her hair, her hands, because all of these features are very appealing. Yeah, we'll put the turquoise titty shots on Facebook, too. Yeah, no, I think that that's really smart

to get them in their own environment, totally like loosen the mob. Ironically, some don't like that, which I can't understand. Maybe it's so personal. Yes, I think that's what they think. I think those are women that aren't really thinking it through. I think, oh, if he comes to me, then he sees where I live. And it's so, you know, he's going to see me naked and he sees where I live. It's just too much information.

But, like, I mean, I think that's less information than what they're doing if they're getting totally naked. You know what I mean? You might as well at that point give them, give you a hundred. I think personally. You know what I mean? Why are you holding off on your fucking apartment? Yeah. When you're just going to be in their snatch. It's weird. Snatch, she said. Sometimes they can't shoot because they have seven roommates, if they're like a 23-year-old in Bushwick, in which case I like to find other people's apartments. So my life, since 94, has become finding people with nice apartments that I can say later. Kathy, I have this person. She doesn't really have a place to shoot. Would you mind if I could spend two hours and 45 minutes getting her naked in your apartment? Oh, I would totally offer my apartment to someone for a shoot. That's fun.

Great. Done. Right. At some point. I can't be there, though. Oh, if you want, sure. No, but with a girl mind if somebody else is there? Oh, it depends on who she is.

There's a lot of liberal women out there. Yeah, no, totally. No, this is I forgot. I don't think you answered. What is the age range that you do? You know, I would say 18 to 40. I'm just going to throw that right out there. They're rarely 18.

And if I had to summarize, I would say more in the 21 to 34 age. Right. Yesterday I was on a bike ride and I saw so many girls walking and I couldn't figure out their age, but I saw all of their asses. And I'm like, am I seeing 14 year old ass or 21 year old ass? I mean, it looks so young and they're all wearing really short shorts and their asses, their little bottom of their ass. You see it. And I'm like, what age is that? Is that 18 years old?

They look like 14. Like, how do you know what 18 is? Well, it depends on the size, the jiggle, the color of the pants. No, but I mean, 18. Do you know women? Like, you know, what's the difference between 18 and 16? Like, do you ever, like, go up to a woman and she's only like, she's like, dude, I'm 16 years old. Like, you know.

How can you tell age when they're so young and they look so old? I don't know how to answer that. I think both you and I can generally know how some of that. I can't. No, I literally cannot. It is true because I do bar mitzvahs and the 13-year-olds look 18 these days. Yeah. I didn't know.

I saw like five asses yesterday and I'm like, am I? I don't know if this is 14-year-old, 16 or 8. Like, I don't know if this is legal ass or illegal ass. I don't care how old they? are but every time you say five asses I'm getting excited and I'm visualizing it and I have music in my head dung to doodoo do don't do do don't do the women nowadays I feel sorry for like guys your age or my friends I always say like you were don't you feel gypped like you're born in the wrong generation the women are just hotter they're stacked they're built different they're so it's totally a different scene you know what I mean

my old friend who's like a construction worker in jersey was like he was working a high school or or college, something where he just saw all these young. And he was like, fuck. I missed out. Like, to find a girl when you were younger that was skinny with big, real tits was like a miracle. I was, like, so popular because I was, like, really skinny with a rack. And it was real. It was, like, unheard of.

Now, I don't know if it's the hormones and the chicken or I don't know, but they all have tits and asses and they're skinny and they're beautiful. There's definitely something in the hormones. These 13-year-olds have giant boobs. It's crazy. And you never saw real big boobs. unless the girl was chunky when you were, when our generation. Right, right.

You couldn't get the... Right, right. You couldn't get the... Yeah, Greeks always had big rocks. Right, but you couldn't get that to the... Now, forget about it. I think there's a lot of pressure in New York City, though. We live in New York where there's a lot of thin, beautiful people,

and I think there's pressure to be thin and beautiful. So if we went out to Wisconsin or... Oh, yeah, no, I was in Biloxi, Mississippi once. Yeah, you're making that face. I saw the widest loads. And I don't care of people. I actually like chunky dudes. Like I'm always like I'm kind of a chubby chaser.

You're not chunky at all. I like chunky, like, you know, beefy guys sometimes. Like I like everything. So I get it. But this was like the biggest people, women, men that I have ever seen. And it was strictly diet because I was stuck in a place working and I saw the way the people ate. And I feel bad for people that live in the middle because they don't know. And they're uneducated as far as like what to eat and diet.

And we feed people the most horrific. wouldn't feed it to my cat, you know? And, um, and that's what I think that it is. But you're right. I mean, we're in New York and we see the most beautiful people here that are in shape and look at, but these are, I'm talking young people don't need to be in shape to look at. You know, these are like 14 or 18 or 21 year olds. I didn't need to work out. Can you stop saying 14 year old because that's, you're killing me? No. In a good way or a bad way. I had someone, you know, I post ads on Craigslist and I had a guy the other day email me, oh, I'm into, uh, young girls and exhibitionism.

And I'm like, you know, what the fuck is that? Like, what do you mean young? Like, do you mean 21-year-olds or do you mean, you know, pedophilia? Like, I don't know. There's a difference. And I feel sorry for guys because I feel like, you know, that line of like what is illegal and what isn't is kind of fucked up and like wrong, you know, because I once went over to my friend's house.

And just like I think it's like sometimes sexual chemistry is an animal instinct, right? Like you just, you can't make that. It just happens, right? And I once went over to my friend's house and his nephew. was there. But he was like this tall, really handsome guy. And immediately in two seconds, I was so instantly turned on by him. Like it was like one of those animal things. He didn't say a word. Thank God. But I was like, who the fuck is that? And I hired him to watch my account while I went away. And I found out that he was like 16 years old, right? And so I went home home or 17. And I was

like Googling like, what is the legal age? Because I thought for sure I'm going to bang this guy. And I don't I don't want to get in trouble. But I was like just by nature. And I'm not some, I'm not something, I'm not, you know, a how to file. I'm not into little kids, like, you know, but I was just attracted just as an animal being. And then when he came over my house and I gave him the rules and regulations and he was talking, I was completely turned off because he became that 16 or 17 year old person and it took everything away, right? Yeah. But I feel bad for, like, I think it's like really weird that we put laws about sexuality in that age range because it's a little bit hard to define, you know what I think?

Well, you can feel bad but feel good for us too because just coming here on my bike, I passed no less than 34 beautiful women in soft, silky summer things with a thong underwear over a light white fabric and boobs and cleavage and asses and feet. And I love every aspect of a woman. I mean, I love hands, necks, boobs of course are great, asses. I like feet a lot. I don't have a foot fetish. I hate that term, but they're just another part of the woman's body that I find appealing. So we get to see all of this every day in New York City. And yeah, I might not know the dividing line between 16 and 18, right? That's what I mean.

Right. That's what I was thinking when these girls were walking by. There must have been one of those rave parties going on. Have you seen those things? What age is that? Of course I know what you're talking about. It was down near the wet,

down near the lower east side. There was a giant concert. It was a techno concert. Yeah, that's what I was. Those are the asses. All the asses were going to that. What age were they? I think they were 12.

No, no, no. I would have put them between, yeah, 15 and 25. It was really a... And I'm glad to know that the techno is still so popular with the kids. Oh, it really is. And instantly, I was like, I wish I had my camera. I wish I was on that boat doing interviews, interacting,

because that's what I love with people. Throw me in a crowd with a microphone. And then hopefully find a way to do some naked photo shoots mixed in, and I'm not sure how that would happen. But that's my natural instinct is, you know, throw me in a fun situation. Let me schmooze and talk to people. I'm like a bee searching for honey.

And if I can get some naked photos shoots out of it, I've created some art and then we have something to take away. It's just everything about it is great. Yeah, no. And like you were saying before, like you love everything. I think, you know, that's why you do what you do. I mean, you know what I mean? Because you really see women as art, you know, in their bodies and every part of them,

not just the tits and the ass. And that's what comes across in your pictures. Because if you were just into boobs or at, like, you would see that because that's where your focus would be. And somehow it would come out in what you're producing. I mean, in your pictures, what I get is everything. like who that person is, like and the beauty and everyone. Like I said, you make everyone look not only attractive but sexy too.

I couldn't agree more. And what you don't see is everything in between is how I talk to them to get to that situation. That's what we want to know. And when I put the camera down, what funny things that I'm saying are how I straddle that line between, well, do you want to be completely naked doing a backflip and doing yoga, which maybe is a little more revealing on the vagina versus like, well, let's just stick to this or that. and there's a constant push and pull and there's the line and I want to make people comfortable, but I want to get what I want at the same time.

So it's a fun line. If you look at some of the videos on this Vimeo Naked Happy Girl site, you can see, I mean, they're like three-minute clips, but you do get a sense of me talking to them and how they react to what I say and things like that. I think that that's something, and somehow you could teach people how to do it, but I feel like it's a natural thing. Natural. The people that could really do it do it.

Because I know I have a natural ability to, like, talk to people in certain ways and sometimes to get things, like, certain things that do that I couldn't tell you how I do it. Sure. But it's just like that thing that you got me here at the table naked, so you're batting a thousand. Exactly. So that must just be your thing. But I mean, like, do, is that always the question that guy says, like, how could I do this too? It's everything. We just talked about how, what did you say to them?

Are they nervous? Do you have sex with them? Are most of them nervous? A lot of them are. And I like that. The more nervous, the better. Because shy and nervous, those are the people that wouldn't normally shoot with somebody. If they're like, oh, yeah, I do this all the time.

Well, okay, that's good. But then it's not as special. And when I find someone that's a little shy or nervous, and I can use my charm and sensibilities to make them comfortable and get naked and create art, and at the end, I'm saying, oh, my God, I was nervous, but it was so much fun. And you made me feel like a queen. and this was like a great three hours. It makes me feel so happy.

And then I get to share that with you and the rest of the world. It's just a win, win, win, win. Right. Five wins, like five asses walking down the street. Five fourteen-year-old asses. You said that they could have been between 15 and 25. Yes. They were not 25.

I know what a 25-year-old asses. These were like very, very young. That I was like, are they legal or not? I don't think that they are. And I feel bad for their dads and their dad friends because they're what. And I think how I, because I was like a hub. Like I was like a slutty girl, but when I was younger, slutty girls like that was the minority.

Do you know what I mean? I was like a 10% girl. Now it's like the minority is the conservative girls. 90% are girls that dress like I used to. And I feel bad when I think about how I used to dress when I went out with my mom. You know what I mean? When I was like that jail date age with my ass sticking out and my combat boots and my, you know, that's what I used to.

And all these girls are walking by with the same shit, but their asses were really out. And I was like, oh, my God, I did this shit to my mom too. And now it's just all over the place. Did it say the word juicy on any of the butts or other words similar? No, because it was all denim. Like, they just sell these denim shorts that are so short. They were all wearing denim shorts.

All them wearing the different. The same thing. And all of them, like, it was like seriously, their ass cheek was totally showing. Yeah. Totally there. Like it was a part of the style. If that's a new trend, I'm very happy to hear it. I saw five of them.

Maybe it'll go to the bikini top and the breast will show from the bottom down. Yeah, but the sad thing is because, you know, it's not only changed with women in this generation. Men are very different, too. They're much more into how they look. Sure. They're more self-conscious, their weight, all this. They're a lot, they're more like women than, you know, men were back in our day. And so these guys with their fashion sense, I mean, come on, what is with the shorts off the, I mean, the pants off the ass?

Like, I mean, for real, it's off the ass. Wasn't that so, like, five years ago? No, I still see it. Do you? For sure. I really do. I feel it's more the Latina-African-American side of things. Yeah, totally.

But, I mean, like, you know, it is an ass thing. So you don't find that appealing when a man's jeans are halfway down his ass? No, I went up to a guy and I took a picture of it. I'm like, I just need to take a picture of it. It's just like, what the hell are you doing? Because he was like, he was really cool and he was rocking everything really good from head to toe. But then that thing just ruined it. I was like, it's a little try-to-be.

It's too much. Whereas the girls with the asses, I was like, maybe they don't know. I don't know. Or it's just the style because all of them had it. And they weren't slutty girls. They would just look like regular girls. Times have changed. This has become more commonplace.

That's just the way it is. Yeah. You know, not to go back to the bodmitsvahs, but women are wearing skirts that just go below their butts. Right. And Bob Mitzvah, how old are they? I don't know. 14? Oh, 12 and 13.

Right. And are some of those, like you say, you go to these bar mitzvahs and you're just 12 and 13-year-olds that are like, look like women. Women. And the boobs are already there and they're wearing cleavage-oriented dresses and... Right. And as a man, right? Like, do you feel... Like, is it pedophilia?

Like, to me, pedophilia is like when you're, like, little kids. There's a difference. Sure. To then a 15-year-old that looks like... She's 21. Yeah. That you can't say that a man that's attracted to that is a pedophilia. No way.

You just can't. Right? Just like, I'm not... I never fuck that guy, by the way. Because once he talked, you know, the 17-year-old, it was like all... That's right. Can you imitate what he would have said while here? What he, when we talk.

No, it wasn't even like what he said. It was just that when he started to talk, even though he was really tall and really good looking and he had this way about him that seemed very old, when he spoke, he was very young. His way of speaking was so young that that wasn't hot to me. Sure. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. That ruined it. It wasn't like he said anything dumb. It was just that he was a kid. Yeah. And it wasn't hot. If he never said a word, I was so horrid. never meet those people you're so horny for them you're like on a mission like you can't it's like i hear

women say that more than men just shut the fuck up i don't want to hear anything just don't say a word i kind of like that because they know because they know it just might get ruined because most of the time that does get ruined i think men feel the same way we just don't say that no you know what it is for women that doesn't happen often that kind of thing that kind of weird attraction physical right off the bat before you know someone thing doesn't happen i think a guy my guy friends tell me that you know they see a woman across the street and the and blows and her skirt goes up a little bit and they go home and jerk off to her that night. You know what I mean? Like that's the way it goes. Women are sort of like that. You know, so if we,

if I walk in my friend's house and see a guy and have that reaction, that happens so rarely that you don't want to fuck it up. So if you know that talking could fuck it up, like next time I see a 17 year old, I might be like, don't talk. Don't take care of my cat. You know, I thought, oh, I'm going to get him and take care of my cat and maybe something will happen, but no. Is that an analogy for something? What? The cat? Taking care of my cat? No, that was just like I was just like, I was just like, I was trying to, you know, weave my way into, I'm an opportunist. I had to figure out a way to make it happen. You know, after all my Googling, I had to, and I, you know, my friend knew I was like,

how when is he turning 18? Because I couldn't really get a good idea whether it was really illegal or not and what the age was. I didn't know if it was 16 or 18, you know. I didn't want to go to jail. God, no wonder your listeners love you. It's fantastic. It's the truth, you know, but I didn't fuck him and it wasn't because he said anything bad. It was just because he was a little boy. He was too young for me. I mean, when I was 40, I saw with a 25-year-old. Great. But he was great.

He was much, you know, he, 25-year-old that lives in New York and, you know, is that, like, on his own. It's a different story. This kid, I think, live with his parents still. You know what I mean. What's the youngest? When I was 15, I had a 21-year-old boyfriend. I mean, that was illegal, right?

But I was, but I was like, you know, I was like a woman. He wasn't, you know, he wasn't a pig. I mean, maybe, I don't know, 21 to 15. Like, I feel bad if we got busted by the cops and he got taken to jail. He would have because it was illegal, but it really wasn't. My mother knew I was dating him. Why is that faces? You're making faces like, oh my God.

You never fucked a 15-year-old when you were 21? No. Okay, maybe I was like a couple days and before I was 16. Like, and then I turned 16. This is fine. I'm very happy for you. I think you were a little more advanced than I was. It took me a little longer to, you know.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? I think I was. It was not in high school. It was in college. You are, I mean, I have a theory about this. All right. No, because I know a guy on my roof and he's a total player.

I'm not saying you're a player. I don't really know what you do besides your pictures, like as far as women and like, you know, whatever. But, and my friend, and I have another friend, too, who's a total player, like, these guys didn't jerk off or anything. And, you know, until they were, like, 17, like, really old. You know what I mean? Weird. And then they didn't, you know, and then they became, like, hypersexual. And, you know, I found out that my one friend on the roof, I'm going to have him on the show because he has, like, 18.

totally being molested by men in his environment when he was younger, as if it's normal, okay? And not only him, everyone in the high school was being molested by these guys. I mean, he told me like 18 stories. I was like, text them to me. I need to talk about it on my podcast because it's so fascinating, but I think it happened to a lot of dudes. Like, I mean, I think that this is a common thing. So I think some men that don't sort of, you know, get an idea about what's going on down there until much later in life. I think sometimes maybe it's oppressed because they were sexually molested because I think, you know, a lot of, you know, lot like the stories he told me I couldn't believe is this too heavy for you yeah I don't feel like

my case is so different than normal I was just a suburban Philadelphia kid I don't know I'm sure I was masturbating at 15 is how old are you no no that's normal I think that that's kind that's normal yeah I'm pretty sure it was 15 maybe yeah no my friend didn't find the one that was molested by like 18 men like I said and this was happening in his high school with all the guys knew like it's crazy shit you know, like it was normal. I don't even think he thinks he was molest, but he really was. And he didn't start, you know, he didn't really know about that until like 17. But yet he was doing all this other stuff with people. So I think that that's like a little bit, you know, suppression because of like whatever. You didn't, you didn't, when did you lose your virginity?

Did I just ask you that? You did. I think it was my freshman year of college. How old is that? I didn't go to college. I was like 26. 18? Oh, okay. That's not bad. Okay. Shew. Jesus. Did you ever. Because you're so open. Did you ever have any kind of gay action? Like make out with a guy? I really haven't.

I know you'd be honest. That's why I ask. Yeah, sure. No. People say, well, you're straight or gay because sometimes they can't tell. And I like to say, I'm about a 93 to 7, but I've never had an encounter with a guy. But I definitely, you know, find some appealing. And when the soccer guys finish the game, take off the shirt and they're, like, totally ripped and, you know, look like, who's that God on the soccer team?

I forget what it ever is. But, um, right. I don't know either. You know, one day, never say never. There's some things about gay that are very unappealing and other things that are like, oh, I could do that. Right. Oh, interesting.

But you never have in all of your years. Never. Living in New York, drinking, drugs, all that never wound up making out with a dude, nothing. No. You know, a general, like maybe one kiss on the lips that's not a makeout just like a quick, blah. Right, right, right. But you feel like you're 93-7? Yeah.

Sounds about right. Right. And so you did, how many couple, what do people see in your book? So you have three books, right? I do. it's naked happy girls, bubble bath girls. What a bubble bath girls? Let me look at bubble bath girls while you're talking about it. Here's the thing.

I finally, I was in an apartment for a while. When I moved to the Lower East Side, I had a bigger apartment with a nice bathroom. And I had a woman or two come over and take a bubble bath. And I went, wow, this is fun. I should just do this as a theme and really do it quickly because the naked happy girls took me seven years. It was very slow. And then this one I went, okay, I'm making a book. I'm doing bubble baths, bang.

And for two summers, I photographed probably seven. 70 or 80 women and about half ended up getting in the book. It started out just in the bath. And then it became a little beforehand in the living room and a little afterwards in the bedroom. And I just used my apartment as a set. Right. But it was based around bubble baths. And there's not that much you can do.

So it became, it became something fun to try. How do I make each woman different? Well, on this one. Dirty girl. You have some girl with a, did she have all these dirty girl bottles in her? I used dirty girl bubble bath because I love the way it smelled, so I accumulated 12 containers. And then when I had this woman over, I threw them in and said, we're going to use you. Cherries and fruit and props.

If you have an animal, bring over the animal. It could be a lizard. It could be a dog. It could be a cat. I've done all of those. Let's smoke pot in the tub. Let's drink champagne in the tub. Let's whatever it is.

You got marbles. Each one of these girls, because you have a lot of shots of the same woman. Eventually they wind up in the, I mean, it's sort of. It's kind of interesting how it goes. You know, it's like chronological. I mean, you get there, they have their clothes on like this girl. She's taking her clothes off and then she's in her house. And then eventually she winds up in the top.

I'll buy that. Is that how they like I like that? I like that seems like a natural way to do it is to start out. And I love to have a little bit cloth. Let's leave a little bit something to the imagination. And then, yeah, progresses from there. So interesting to me. The first time I never knew about like that there were so many different nipples on women.

Like until I went to my nude beach. And I was like, wow. Like, you know, they come in so many different shapes, sizes, nipples, colors. Like, I mean, you know, so many different variations. They sure do. And what about, I'm trying to find, I'm, I'm lasering my vaj off, and I'm trying to figure out how much to do. Do you think the landing strip is good? I like it because it's sort of within style and then it went out of style a little bit, but it's pleasant.

Yeah, she's got full bush this one here. No, that wasn't full. That was, that was two-thirds. Oh, it's just long in the front. Interesting. Yeah, that's what I look at. I don't mind the airplane strip. I don't mind hair.

I tend to like it not on the lower regions. Yeah, that's where it has to be off for sure. I like the landing strip. I don't want to take. I don't like totally. But I think that looks a little childlike. Yeah. Well, in looking at you now, I like what you have the way it is now.

It looks good. It does. No, actually, she's taking it off totally. And then eventually, yeah, she's got full bush. But what I love is that all these women are so different. They're not perfect. Like, even when I'm Googling porn, we've talked about this before.

the show. Like, I like my people to look real. Like, I think that's hotter than somebody so blown up and perfect looking. You know what I mean? Couldn't agree more. Right? I really do. I mean, like every one of these women, I could see the hotness in them. You know what I mean? And like this girl doesn't really have, you might say she's got really bad tits. Yes. But you make them look good. Do you know what I mean? Somebody else, if she was like, you know, on some fake porn where they had like smoke and techno music, they might be like, your tits can't, you can't be in the shoe. But in here, she looks beautiful. You know what I mean? And sexy.

You figure out a way to make it look hot. It helps when women put their arms up. If they reach for the bar above the tub, it'll make your boobs look better. Right, exactly. But also, a lot of these girls are really young. I remember everything about all these. If you see a woman and say, where did you meet her? How did that happen?

I would remember what it was like. This one was smoking a lot of cigarettes. So let's talk about her. She's on page. Tatiana 205. She was one of the rare times She was recommended to me by somebody else Which doesn't happen a lot

I think she she comes across as a lesbian Dominican Revolutionary she's got a Che t-shirt on That was a perfect description of her One that smoked a lot of cigarettes which I often don't do A very demure just sort of this cool I'm comfortable whatever just shoot me Whereas some are more nervous and I have to

Coerce a little more or direct She was just and that's fine And I like sometimes if I can leave someone alone, I don't need to say much. And I just, they're smoking looking out the window. Beautiful. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And I'll shoot the way they are. And that makes me happy as if I'm representing them the way they are.

Right. And you have a little blurb in each one. Like this says, I met Tatiana in Union Square. I loved her boyish short hair in Harlem, Artistic, hippie chic attitude. She wore a green. Did someone write this for her? Did you write all this stuff? Yeah, I love it.

And then you go on and there's like about 50. there's a lot of pictures and eventually like I said in this the one with the bubble baths they eventually wind up in a bubble bath correct or with um cupcakes on them that was claire who is uh french from switzerland and very quiet but it's not cheesy you know some people could do that shit in a cheesy way because you're like you know you're hip and cool like it's done in a really like already cool way like even this of pepper and apples i mean and a green they're all red they're red pairs it was a red themed day there's not a red pair it's a red pair did you paint it red And we're not talking about her ass. There's a red pair for real? Yeah.

Their pairs are red? Yeah, you can get them. They're special from somewhere. Yeah, beautiful. It's just the colors. That's just, it's beautiful. The thing is the bathtub tends to be very monotone. It's white.

So anything that breaks that up is good. So I used a lot of colors. I'm very visual. So that's why I could, I know your stuff is perfect. Like it's beautiful, you know? And that's why the red, it's like it's a pear and it's a pepper. But it doesn't, it's not distracting because it's just. It's the contrast of the colors that make it amazing.

And bubbles. I have used bubbles many, many, many times. Make your girls blowing bubbles. Yes. First of all, they forget about themselves because bubbles are fun. It's not a childish thing. Well, it is childish, but it's not intended to make them look young. It's just something fun to do.

If you give women activities or something to do, I love to go to a beach because I'll throw a frisbee with them or do cartwheels. Can you do it at a beach? Do you have to do it like on a, like, well, how do you do it at a beach legally? The beaches have been a long drama with me. I went to a nude beach on Long Island about three years ago, and I got kicked off because not because you can't be naked. You need a permit. In essence, a nude beach is a private beach.

Yeah. So you needed a permit, and I didn't have an insurance policy. To take pictures? Yes. Oh, shit. Right. So we went, the police were very nice. They said, do you want us to give you a ride? It's about a mile down the beach, and you can shoot topless on the topless beach.

And I went, yes, I do. Thank you very much, officer. It was. as they left I got her naked on the topless beach. They knew you're going to do that, but that was nice to them. It is. Right. And I hear, I think Fort Tilden, which is next to the Rockaways, is very liberal in its nudity.

So I plan to go there with you or somebody else who has ever. I'm out of your age range. I went to Sandy Hook. That was the nude beach I went to in Jersey. And, but I think that they're very cautious about people with videos or, you know, because they don't want people putting shit on the internet and stuff. So it was like, you know, those people got kicked out. this one was one of the um what's that group of the singers that was huge from the england back in the day

oh uh spice girl yeah she's not from the spice girl she's not that is not you're so pulling i know her she's on she's on a show now doesn't it look like oh it looks just like her for those of you who want to purchase the bubble bath book it looks if you have a fetish about the spice girls this looks just like one of them yeah she had a great body and she's got beautiful tits as kathy would say they're dark and symmetrical and and round and hair free and they're just, yeah, I don't want to do this one. Yeah, nipples, you don't like her?

Yeah, no, I shot this for somebody else and it was like doing porn. I was going to say, I'm sorry, could you, don't go past. This one is a little, it looks like a hustler. She's like literally opening up her lips. Like, it's kind of gross. I shot it for someone else.

I gave it to the publisher and he said, yeah, sure, we put this in. It's very good. Oh, yeah, your publisher for, those Germans are so dirty. Yeah. They really are. I used to, when I was younger and really slutty, and I used to do crazy things when I was drunk,

I had this German friend in New York. And I used to come up and be like, oh my God, I can't believe what I did last night. He'd be like, Kathy, I don't know why you're so upset. In my country, this is normal. Like, in my country, you'd be fine. I was like, I was born in the wrong place. Like, Germans are really hardcore. Germans in English.

Yeah, they can be pretty kinky. Oh, the English too? Yeah, I think it's that suppressive hello. I'm a professor, but tonight you can put me in a diaper, drip hot wax on me, tie me up, spank me balls and call me, Professor. Nauty, naughty, man. You never dated any. Do you ever date anybody?

Have you ever dated anyone in your whole life? It's been a long time, Kathy. But I'm looking. I think a Spanish girl was my last short-term relationship, which was about two months, and that was probably seven years ago. So, yes. That's what you consider a relationship? Like, you haven't even had a two-month?

No, no, what was your longest relationship? Six months. Six months. In your whole life? How old are you now? Do I really have to be honest on this one? Yes, of course. What are you?

Don't be ridiculous. I tell you how old I am. I just turned 36. You are not 36. Tell the truth. You're not 42. No, I'm 50. Tell the fucking truth.

I'm 50. 5-0. This year? Yeah, just turned like a few months ago. Did you have a big partay? No, I went to Sammy's Romanian steakhouse with my posse and we had steak and vodka and did schmaltzy fun sticky dance. 50 is like 40 for women.

It really is. That's when you're old as a man like you're, I mean to society, not to like whatever. You know, I mean, when I turn 40, I feel like it's, I'm happy when men turn 50 because the same fucking thing, you know. Men at 40 are just, it's like, you might as well be 20. But at 50, you start to feel kind of old, don't you? Oh, absolutely. And as a woman, I'm just happy about that because it's the age thing for us is 10,000 times

worse. And it comes from men. So I love to put it back to you. Thank you. Do you what I mean? Like, you have a lot of hair. But if you were bald, I'd laugh. Like, I'd be like, you fucking deserve it.

Not only do I have a lot of hair. I almost have no gray. And people generally, when I make them guess, they usually say you're 39. something like that. Right. And I think not getting married, not having kids keeps you younger, for sure. That kind of stuff ages you. It's hard.

It's stressful. What is your secret? And I say it's usually about five things. It's sleep. Sleep is very important. Masturbation. Uh-huh. Marijuana.

Comedy. Uh-huh. Exercise. And I think there was one more, but that's pretty much it. Sleep is huge. Marijuana? I don't smoke. I should smoke weed.

Oh, it's for your brain. It keeps you just laughing and creative and it lets you move outside this generic. Hamster wheel box that we're stuck in. I don't feel that I was stuck ever. My mind is I, this is the thing I, always when I was younger dated potheads, because I feel like a pot head without pot.

Like, I mean, my mind thinks such weird things naturally that if you give me weed, I feel so bizarre. I don't want to talk to people. You know what I mean? I feel bizarre enough that you give me pot. It makes me start becoming very self-conscious.

Understandable. So I try and stay away from the weed. So I like it. You know, I used to like it. I was a weed head for sure. I did not know that. No, I'm talking like eighth grade.

I started smoking pot to 11th grade every single day. I couldn't deal with life unless I was fucking stoned. And then I quit it because I like to quit things. I find there's generally two camps of people with pot. Those that start early will quit early and those that start later keep going. We'll never quit. Potheads are the most loyal drug users. You'll never find a pot head anonymous.

Like, you know, alcoholics will quit. Heroinics will quit. Nobody ever quits weed. And I think it's because there's nothing wrong with it. It's so it's like I always call my pothead friend Like you're like a peaceful pot head I mean what do the worst thing is you're just fucking lazy You know and maybe you can't get things done

I'm then in that small camp that is not lazy And I like to do it before things And I know a lot of people like that I don't think it's such a small camp I think if you smoke weed a lot You know some people could smoke it And it makes them motivated to do things And they get shit done

You know for sure Smoke pot clean your kitchen Right right Jump naked on a trampoline This is a thing though that I've seen with chronic pot usage. The only time it ever becomes a problem is if, because I think it kind of takes the edge off, it is a little bit of an escape, right?

So if you're dealing with something that's pretty hardcore that you need to be 100% on top of it, I've seen two friends of mine, two, that were big weed heads, totally successful, totally on top of their game, weed not affecting their life. But the economy hit, their business started to go down, and they didn't stop smoking pot. So they weren't aware enough. Do you know what was going down? And so they went down way farther than if they were fucking clear-headed enough to get their life together. Do you understand?

Of course. They used the word self-medicate a lot. Like, you know, if you use pot as self-medication, and first of all, I want to say that I'm not really a pot-head. And I may have smoked for 20 years, but it was never that much. Right. And now I'm once a week. Right. That's not a pot-hat.

No. Every day, I think. People that have to do a bong hit every day. No, yeah. And there's nothing. I don't think, like, honestly, I really don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I'm so glad that it's like starting to become legal and everything. Like who fucking cares?

Yeah. But I think that like I said, that if you do anything, whatever it is that's distracting you from real life. I mean, some people, my mother, it's Jesus or God. You know what I mean? Religion, some people. You have a look on that. No.

No, she's not like, she, well, do you know my father is a priest? No. Yes, my father's a priest. Is he listening? No, definitely no. My father's a priest. My mom's the type that, you know, Mary went. And so she gets a little more religious as she's gotten older.

And she definitely uses it as, I mean, you know, as a distraction. no different than I always like, oh, if she was more fun, she'd probably be an alcoholic, but she's like, you know, a workaholic and a, you know, a Jesus holic. I mean, like, so anything that you use as a distraction, if it's weed and if your life starts to go to shit, you know, and you're not really present, you're fucked. When I finally meet your mother, is it okay if I tell her I'm an atheist Jew? Yeah, she won't care. My mom's so nice.

She'll just be like, oh, really? Like, she would, you know, she wouldn't start an argument with. She's not one of those, not at all. I might start an argument with her. I'm a pretty tough. My mom's tough, though, too. Like, you can't. Yeah, yeah, she's cool.

She's cute? She's got MS. Oh, well. Where does she live? My parents live in Jersey. Okay. That's where I grew up in Jersey, girl. So, yeah, I don't know how we started talking about weed.

How do we get to talking about weed? Oh, it's an evolution because some of the women I smoke pot with because if they enjoy it. No, we were talking about your, we were talking about you. This is what I want to end on because I just like to get personal with my guests. And I know you a long time through our mutual tunic. friends, the tunics, the Spencer and his brother. And I have never known you to be in a relationship. When you say you're one relationship,

when you're 50 years old, you've had one relationship for six months. Correct. What the fuck? What do you think? Well, it just shows things about me. I'm selfish and I'm very hard to please and I get bored easily and I don't want people around that much. And I'm always running, running, running, running.

and if someone, a relationship feels like it's just sucking time and energy and I don't want to badmouth women, but I just rarely get the comedy connection because to me life is hilarious, and if they don't get me, a lot of women get me. They think I'm hilarious and charming and it's nice. And like, okay, well, that's good.

We're getting closer. But you're just dull. And I'm, I got to get something back. There's rarely women where I go, God, I miss that person. I want to spend more time. you, you just enrich in my life with music or culture or politics or whatever it is. And the things that I like a lot, which I like sports and I like politics, I like comedy and art.

And I don't often find that women have all those things or at least to the point where they thrill me and I want to stay with them. So in 50 years, you've never met any woman that you find. There was a few that I liked that didn't like me. And that's the sad part. I've probably really... You don't think that's a coincidence? I mean, you think of that's just as sad.

That's just the universe conspiring against you, that the only women you found interesting were into you and all the rest that like you, you don't think that's a coincidence. No conspiracy. You're going to die alone. Probably. It's not a coincidence. You have a fear of commitment.

So that's how it's going to play out. I know. It's so irritating. But it's real. It's real. All the words that you said, everything that you said, could relate to. I understand. I feel the same way. Great.

Something's wrong with us. Well, you and I could have a lovely relationship where we just have separate apartments and separate beds. I've talked about this on this podcast. They're called Lat relationships in the Netherlands. L.A.T. Living apart together. tons of people, you know, Tim Burton and his girl, Helena Bottom Carter, they have, they're madly in love with each other. They're best friends. They're totally dig each other. But they have separate houses in a tunnel that brings them together. They have a tunnel? Yeah, I'm going to send you an article. I'm going to put this on Facebook too. Hamas going to Israel? No, like, not underneath,

but like I think like a tunnel that bridges the houses together. And it's like this one little article and I'm like to me this was like the most, this is like a love story. Like how they talk about each other is like a love story. And I'll send you the article and it's very small but it talks about their relationship and why they do what they do, which is

live in separate houses on the same compound right next to each other but in different places. He's like I hate the way she decorates. She's like I fucking hate the way he decorates but they love each other. And so and they're cool. And they said they really believe that most, a lot of other people would do it, but people just don't have the funds. You know, a lot of people are shacked up in one house because they can't have a bigger place or live separately. I mean, most parent-married people I know for years, they're not like, oh my God, I can't wait to see that person when they come home.

I have thought about this. And I would love a compound. And I thought if I can make a lot of money, that's going to help because you can spread your wings and you can have her in wing A and you're in wing B. And I love that idea. Yeah. And I think wealthier people can do that and they have that. And I think that, but I think people just don't do it because of financial reasons. But I don't think it's natural to just be like on top of each other.

I could only, I think, exist in that. And I always think probably over time as you get older, like maybe you could get a little closer. I always have the hope that maybe I could be a little closer and be comfortable. But no, but I know that it's because I have issues. I don't think it's just like, oh, I haven't met the right person. And I think it's the same for you. Do they have an open relationship? I've had open relationships.

No, they don't. I don't think so. But we talk about that on my podcast a lot too because I think it's very unnatural that men are meant to be like totally monot. You know, it's a tough thing. This whole cheating, not cheating monogamy stuck with the same person.

I mean, it drives me nuts in my head because... Well, which side are you on? I'm on the side where I just wish like polygamy existed or something that was more realistic with the way we are as animal beings. You know what I mean? I don't think it's natural for man to be,

like, totally monogamous to the same woman for 30 years and then you want me to marry someone. I do marriage math. I call it marriage math. Like if I meet someone today and I'm this age and I think I'm going to die when I'm 80 and you fucking minus it from this and you're like, oh my God, I got to be with that person for 35 years. Like I don't even know how that is possible. And then for a man to be like this is my dick stops here. Like that's the last pussy.

Like that's it. I don't think. You know, most of the time that's not happening. Women are constantly being disappointed because their men are cheating. All of the women that are alive right now are fucked because we were very. born in a society where we were told that this is the way that it is. So I'm, it doesn't matter that my brain knows it doesn't work and it's not right. It still devastates me. Someone, quote, unquote, cheats or, you know, my goal was always to be a swing or have an open relationship,

to be evolved enough with somebody or get to that place where you don't need to sexually own, you know. But I think that takes a lot of work in this society because we've been, you know, it's been shoved down our throat, something totally different. So I can only hope 500 years from now, I come back as a woman again, because a woman, woman is a little tougher than a man. And like polygamy exists or we have these communal living, just a different, a whole different setup because this way that it is now, it doesn't seem right to me. Beautifully said.

I hope it's not 500 years. More like 36. I don't, I don't know. I think the younger generation is much more open. That's what I'm saying. Totally. I have friends that are in open relationship. It may not be a total swing or set like you want, but it's, listen, there's two or three

people out there that once in a while, if they come. coming to town you can have your little relationship with. Totally. And it seems to work for them. I had open relationships all the life. My problem is because I have this weirdo thing and I attract the wrong kind of people. I've never had somebody that I felt emotionally or a man that gave me emotional security. Do you understand?

So when they weren't giving me the emotional security, then I have to worry that they're going to be out doing something because it's more of a matter of like, oh, you're going to lose them totally. That I feel like if I were with a guy that gave me total emotional security, I know this is my dude. We're together. We're staying together. committed, would I give a shit if he goes and sleeps with other people? Probably not. I don't know though, because I never had that. I always keep myself in this weirdo scenario where it's either I really like someone and I have nothing with them or I'm with them but they're like, I don't want

to totally be with you so I'm going to look for other people and then that ruins everything. You can't even, you know, analyze that. Do you know what I'm saying? And when I had open relationships, I always say like I've had every kind of relationship except a number one. This is my book right here. And, you know, I tried open ones and it's worked and it didn't and there's all different, you know, know, there's all different kinds of things with that. You know, I've literally had longer booty call relationships than I have relationship relationships. Like I've screwed the same guy for eight years. Wow.

But I've never dated one for longer than two. Is that the one, the guy across the room who keeps looking at us? Yeah, that's him right over there, the naked guy over. But it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't like I saw him every single day, but it was like, this is the guy. I'm pretty monogamous by nature. It's very easy for, I prefer to be with one person. And I didn't care who he was with, you know, as long as I got what I wanted. But we weren't in an emotional relationship, so I think it's, you know, very different.

But I hope, I believe in open, you know, all. Dan Savage, that guy, I love him. He's really great. Savage Love guy. You remember Village Boys? You remember Village Boys? He used to do Savage Love article, you know, question answers in the back of Village, he's got a podcast now. And he calls it Monagamish, and he's in a relationship.

And they have an open relationship. And he talks a lot about it. Oh, no. He's always fantastic. He's so good. Smart and funny and poignant and everything about him. He talks about this in a much better way and everything that he says I agree with. You know, and he's more open to it.

And he calls it monogamish. Not totally monogamous, but, you know, with somebody and in a partnership. And he's probably Jewish. It's monogamish. Exactly. So, yeah, it's my favorite topic to talk about, but it confuses me. And I don't know that we're going to work it out in this lifetime. But.

You and I or you and Dan? Like just the whole, you know, just the whole society. I don't know. I don't know. I think 500 years. You think 36? Yeah. Yeah, we're already on our way.

Religion, once religion starts to fall off the planet, then there's no that thing of marriage is one man and one woman, and things will loosen up even more. Right, and you said you want to have a kid at 6? Do you want to have children? I always thought that I did. Obviously, time is slipping a little bit. My mother's like, hey, Andrew, you're probably not going to have a kid

because you're not waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning, unless it's to do a naked photo shoot. Shell? So unlikely but possible. I feel like... Do you want to? Yeah, I love kids. Right.

You know, it's fun like anyone else to be with them a short period of time and went, okay, that's enough. I got my fill. No, but if it was yours, you would love it. You wouldn't feel like you don't need... You don't only want your fill. You know, that's what you don't understand. There's just too many things in life that I haven't done what I want to do. And I feel like if I can just get to this next plateau, oh, I'm unhappy and unsatisfied and where I am in life.

I mean, I've got naked books. I need more money. and I need to be doing the things that I love, which are people-oriented and creating art all the time. I'm doing too many weddings and bar mitzvahs and corporate video. Why don't you go online, start a podcast? Okay. No, seriously, you'd be great on it.

You should do it your own pockets. And you have so many people in your world if you did like an artie podcast. I can make $200,000 doing a podcast? No, you can. Yeah, because people, nowadays I'm going to tell you that development people, that's where they go to find talent. So they're listening on their way to work, on their way home. They're going through podcasts.

They're looking. So when they're looking casting people, because I did casting and stuff. And when I was doing casting, I'd go on Facebook or MySpace or whatever was going on at that fucking time. Now people go to podcasts and that's how they find people. So, yeah, if you start a podcast and just fucking talk about what you like to do or whatever, you never know where that goes. I mean, it's just a start. It's an outlet for you and your creativity. Well, one thing I've been doing since I've been like 30 is doing video diaries.

So I have thousands of hours. of talking to a camera in my apartment. It's been, okay, I'm waiting to the right time, whatever that is, but I do. Mostly it's complaining, you know, being the Jewish, the guy that I am. You got a little Woody Allen. I love, I love neuroses, because I'm neurotic, so I love a neurotic man, like Woody Allen. That's why I said to you the other day, Larry David. Like, I love that character.

It's fucking hilarious because most men are so macho and perfect. You know, so I think people like to see a man that's out of fucking control and thinks like a woman, you know, and it's crazy. I don't think that that's bad. I think I've got all of those men wrapped up in one, neurotic and macho. Yeah, put that out there. You do it. Okay, we're out there. Okay, so anyway, plug your shit again because I want people to see your stuff.

Because, like, you heard him talk, and he's really hilarious, but his pictures are really fucking beautiful. Beautiful pictures. The only thing I have is really, it's a Vimeo page, which is the video page, and it's vimeo.com slash naked, happy girls. And I've got about 30 clips where you can see my photography and video mixed together. And when could they catch naked happy girls on Playboy? What do you mean? Oh, God. Well, if you get the Playboy channel, I don't know when they play it.

I just know that people come up to me. You yelled at me before when I did an impression. But it's still on and they chopped a half hour into 15 minutes and they just throw it up all the time. Oh, great. So maybe you've seen him on Naked Happy people on Playboy? Yes, Playboy TV. Okay, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me.

And maybe he'll have his own podcast then or his or your YouTube. All of the above and another television show where I'd really like to be back on TV. All right, cool. Well, good luck with all that. Thank you. All right. We're going to go get naked and shoot my pictures. No. No. Bye.

Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can. pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17

stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in it, any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not

disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous. community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.

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