Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 042 - Gino Has Some Noisy Neighbors

Episode Date: October 5, 2014

Gino calls in to talk about his noisy neighbor problems. Are they fighting? Throwing things around? Having sex? Tune in to hear some great solutions to this common NYC problem.   **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift like it's not given. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Is it real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your Greek flag lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts. Kathy Kay and Tommy.

Hey, welcome to me this podcast alone. Last week I had, it was a podcast with me and Tommy, but that was taped a very long time ago. So he's not the co-host anymore. I actually saw him recently. He's doing good,

just so you all know, but he's still the fucking same. I'm so glad he's not my co-host anymore. Even though he was the best co-host, he's really irritating as a person. And I would tell him that to his face if he was here. He's very victimy.

I don't know. There's two kinds of people in this world. There's problem havers. and problem solvers. And I can't fucking stand problem havers. And Tommy's a problem haver. He just always has a fucking problem and he's not looking for a solution. He's more like a woman because I think men most of the time are problem solvers.

I'm more like a man that way. I want if I have a problem, I want to fucking solve and I want to move on. I just can't stand, you know, just sitting in a fucking problem. And that's Tommy. So that's my little vent about him. Even though he was great on the calls, he was just, I would have to actually deal with him off of the air too. And that was too much. But that really should be my intro.

My intro should be, you know, follow us. I have to do all that stuff. Like, follow us on Twitter. It's strict anonymous. Like our Facebook fan page. I keep saying R, even though it's just me. And write into the show. I love when people write into the show.

Like, seriously. And I have a couple people, and I want to give them shoutouts on this call. Not on this call. I mean, like on this episode. There's one guy named Doug Saul, Sol, S-O-L, something like that, who writes in all the time and he gives me like his two cents about the podcast and I love that and it's like because it's interesting to me I never know what people think and he writes it with his opinions and I love him because he's a fan and he's consistent with it and then there's a guy I had to say one of the best emails I ever got or the best email I ever got was a guy called Eric Neves I think that's his name and he wrote something to me on my Facebook page he sent me a message and he talked about the unemployed Joe episode I was really nervous about posting that because he wrote something to me on my Facebook page he sent me a message um and he talked about the unemployed Joe episode I was really nervous about posting that because Because when I got off that call, I love that call. I mean, to me, that's what I love to do.

I love to actually really help people. And I love just regular people that are dealing with shit, you know. And I thought it was so great. But then when I listened back to it, I thought, oh, my God, maybe my listeners are really going to hate this because there's no sex involved and whatever. But he wrote it and he talked about how much he loved that podcast. And so that was meant a lot to me. And his message was really awesome.

So if you want to write into the show and give me your two cents, for better or for worse, I like negative shit too. trust me in the beginning. I used to get really bad emails from people. You could email me that shit and email it to strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Also, if you want to call into the show, uh, because you have a problem and it doesn't have to be a sexual problem. Like unemployed Joe, you could just be like a regular problem that people would relate to. Um, email me a trickly anonymous podcast and I'll have you on. Uh, or if you're fan of the show and you want to like give your opinion or we could maybe even do a call like that. I'm going to call like an episode on that.

What we have today is like that. It's like just this regular guy that has a problem. His name is Gino. He's actually someone that I know. And he's having a neighbor problem, like a hardcore neighbor problem that's really disturbing him. And he's always talking about it.

I will say, because Gino might not listen to this, that Gino's more of a problem haveer than a problem solver in this situation. I'm hoping that, you know, I could get him to solve this problem because he's been having it for a very long time. time and I'm sure it irritates a lot of people around him. Sorry, Gino, if you're listening to this,

but it's the truth. Like, eventually you have a problem. You need a solution. You need to figure it out. Implement that solution and fucking move on. Life's too short, you know. And I have like a great solution to his problem. So he's going to be on and he's calling in soon and we're going to discuss his neighbor problem. Like I said, I mean, we live in, I live in an apartment. I live in New York City. There's 600 apartments in my building. And noise is always a fucking issue. And I guess people in the suburbs, which is most people that are listening to me, don't have that problem. But maybe you do, because maybe people just do shit like that in the suburbs, too, and you could hear your neighbors. But in the city, when you're living in an apartment building, it's really hard because you could hear a lot of stuff around you.

And you have to like, I mean, for me, I always used a fan. I always have like a little fan on so that that noise is there and I can never hear. Because you can't really control the people around you. You can just control yourself. But it can be really irritating. And he's got some really bad neighbors. and I'm going to be right back on with Gino and he'll explain his deal. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone?

Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hello, is this Gino? Yes, how are you? Good. How are you doing, Gino?

Okay. Okay, cool. How are you? I'm good. How about you? So I'm calling you, Gino on this podcast, and I'm taping right now because instead of lying, I know we spoke about maybe I would lie and say you're someone I don't know. I just said the truth because I never really like to lie on my podcast.

I explained that you live in my building. That's how I knew you. And you're dealing with a, neighbor, a major neighbor problem with noise, right? A noise issue, correct. Right. Okay, so I didn't, like, normally people write in and they give me, like, a synopsis, and I read that on the call, but since, you know, we know each other, and I know your story, I didn't give the synopsis yet. So why don't you just tell, like, the short

story about what's going on, and then I'll ask you questions. Sure? Yeah, like, what's your problem right now? Okay, my problem right now is, for one year with no resolution. There are people that moved in up young people, no malice and no malintent signed, but they're young and they're entitled. They feel entitled. The girl owns the apartment with her boyfriend. Uh-huh.

But she is on the lease. Her name is on the lease as well as her father's. Right. So the friend is not an owner. He's just a bystander. So when they first moved in last year, they started making extraordinarily loud. walking noises and stomping and stumping about. We have no idea what it was,

so we innocently went upstairs, knocked on the door, and asked them if they could please exercise a little consideration for us below and walk a little quietly. Well, the guy got indignant and he got very angry, and I got intimidated by that, so we left.

Okay, how did he get angry? I mean, you asked him very nicely, right? You and your girl went up there? I did. I was very Right, right, very... Did you go up there with your girlfriend? Yeah, we both went up together. Okay, and you were very nice, and how did he get defensive? What did he say?

When I'm making any noise, what do you want me to change the way I'm walking about? And he got very, very indignant, and I got uncomfortable with that, so we left. Okay. Rather than have exacerbated into a physical confrontation. Right, okay, so you left. So we left, and it's still,

proceeded the noises and heavy walking still proceeded weeks after first as it is i wrote a letter to mike the your friend mike from the management committee well nobody knows who that is so you wrote i mean we're talking to like other people more more so you got to think we're talking to listeners of my podcast so you wrote the because you live in a con we live in a condo op which means that you own and then there's a board we own and there's a board that has to approve shit so you wrote to the head of the board right the management committee I tried to follow the chain of command, wrote to them and expressed to them what was going on. And I implied that they don't have rugs.

So they went up and enforced the 80% rug rule. Right, because there is a rule in New York. Hold on. Because most people I think that listening, Gino, they don't live in New York City, right? But in New York City or in you're an apartment building like this, they have rules and regulations. And one of them is that if you, you know, so that this problem doesn't happen, that you have to have 80% of your apartment has to have carpet, right? Correct.

Okay. That's what the law state had the house rule state also. But besides that, besides having rugs put down, they were also acting rowdy. Uh-huh. And making extremely loud noises. We even thought they might have been exercising up there. And I still don't know if that's the case or not because no one's really confirmed that for it.

Well, we all think, but, okay, Gino, I mean, because this happens very late at night, right? Between 9 and 11. Right, but also sometimes later than 11, no? I thought it was also very random and very late at night. But now it's not as bad as it's not late at night. It's usually between 9 and 11. Right. But we have discussed, and even the people on the board and people in the building have discussed with you that it's probably sex noises, right?

I'm sorry. I didn't quite hear that. Like a lot of people have said, and even the members of the board, people that you spoke to when you were complaining, suggested that it's probably sex. And that's why they're not really thinking about it. Oh, that was one suggestion. And I ruled that out. How come? I don't know why, but I just ruled it out. Yeah, I still think it's sex.

We'll get back to that. People that are into rough sex, if they're drunk, he's thrown her around. You never, people do crazy things. These were just uncivilized people. So I continue to write to the board. They continue to go up there and express our complaints that we were hearing these noises, which they adamantly denied. Right. They just denied that they were doing anything.

And I suspect that because she's a lawyer, her firm advice to just deny everything. Let them prove it. Right. And you haven't been able to prove anything. Not yet. Right. So we've written to the board last week and asked them, what do you need from us to prove this? And I'll keep skirting the issue.

Well, I'm going to take that name out. Don't use names because this is all strictly anonymous. So I'm going to delete that name. So the head of the management company, right? Just use like titles. The management company suggested that we call the doorman up to witness this. Right. Has that worked?

So we did that at all the time. And soon as the doorman came up. they stopped making the noise, oddly enough. How did they know that the doormen were coming up? They didn't know, right? I don't know. It was just probably coincidence. Well, the noise that they make is sporadic.

We might hear it 10 minutes, then it'll stop, then it'll pick up again in 20 minutes, pick up again in a half hour, and stop. So it's not a consistent loud noise. Oh, my God. It's so, I'm sorry, you know, it's so obvious to me that it's like, like sex, like they're having sex. And that's what it is. That's, well, the, I personally think it's the only thing that makes sense.

The only thing that makes sense is that they might be just inconsiderate. Have you ever thought of that? No, but, okay, you're saying that, but no, no, no. No, but listen, Gino, this is what I'm saying to you. I'm not saying that you're crazy and there's no noise going on, okay? I'm just trying to figure out what the noise is. Okay, and you said, when I said sex, you said, but this is so loud, what could they be doing? If they're not like, what would they be doing if they weren't having sex?

Like you're saying if they're just inconsiderate. So what are they doing? Throwing around food, like furniture? Like if it's not sex, but it's so loud. All I was explained to the management committee what the sounds were there, what we were hearing. I know, but I'm asking you, like, what could they be doing in their regular life besides, like, having, like, hardcore sex? That could be that. I don't.

Right. I don't know. I don't know. Sex is the only thing that makes sense. or like what suggested to me prior exercising someone's exercising up there at nine or ten o'clock at night 11 o'clock at night and very sporadic exercises i don't know this i spoke to today who was an advocate for noise complaints suggested that now with with telemarketing or with with telecommuting people work all hours of the day right so it's not uncommon that these noises would be heard after 11 o'clock

And it's not an comment that they could be exercising. But I doubt that. Right now, I started to believe that it's spite, that they're doing this out of malicious intent. Right. And that's where you're at now. I mean, because the more – because what happened is you complained to a lot of people. You've had meetings with them. I mean, it wasn't just that one time that you went to their house that you interacted with them.

I mean, this has been something that they've had to deal with two on their end. As far as they're concerned, they don't make any noise. and they're fighting back, they have to fight back to you because you've been doing things and making waves, right? So it's not like you only went to their house once. You've actually put them in the position

to deal with this many times since, right? You even call their father, right? I mean, that's a thing that you did. But twice, decency to intercede and help us, have them be a little more quiet, and he said he would do it, but lately they haven't done it. Who's that? The father said he would do it.

The father said he would intervene on my behalf, Either they're not respecting him or they're lying. That's the only thing I can think of. Or they're just having more sex. This is the thing. Let me ask you this, though, Gino, because I've known you for a long time. And there's like history with, like, there's other things about you that I want to, like, get into just so people understand who you are and what you're about. And like, but first about the problem, like, you know, why don't you want to believe that it's sex?

because I don't believe it. The way it's intermittent, the noises come from different areas of the apartment. Right, but maybe they're very adventurous. If you're in one spot, that's good enough. But these are, like, happening in different places. When I hear them when they come in at night, like a door with them,

and then it goes into a closet, throws his stuff in, he slams the door shut. That's what I really think it is. But it happens for a long time, or it's just like a little bit and then stops, then a little bit and then stops. I mean, it'll happen for 10, 20 minutes,

then it will stop, that it will pick up again. That's not wild sex. Right. Wild sex system. Right. This is intermittent. Intermitten.

Right. Right. And it could be like that, but you don't have any other neighbors that you hear their door slamming and all that stuff? Well, we hear time. Uh-huh.

People slam their door because their window was either open. And it slams the outside door. But we don't hear any upstairs people or any shy people making noise. Right. And now how, okay, how old are they about, you think? Are they in their 20s or the 30s? 23 and 25.

And you and your... I know. And you and your girl, how old are you guys? Well, I'm 67, and she's 57. And you guys have been together for how long? You and your girl. 15 years? And you're not married, but you guys are dating and you live together in this house.

for how long you lived in this apartment? Okay. And you guys been together for, and you guys own the apartment as well. And you've never had a problem with noise before? I'm sorry? No, we lived in the city and other place. We never heard this before.

Never. It's a shock to us that it still continues. Right. And today you met with the board, like there's these, there exists like a person that actually deals with these complaints in New York City? Yes.

She's an advocate for noise. I can't get into too much of this because she's taking up my cause. I went to state senator's office, Liz Krieger, and both Sharon and I met with an advocate the other day who recommended this person. So we have been in contact with the senior most authority. Right. And she's going to. And she's going to. And how does she advocate?

Like, what could she do that you haven't been able to do? I can't get into that right now. Okay. It just happened today, and I have to maintain integrity on this issue. Okay, but can we talk about my solution to your problem? Can you still do my solution? Yeah, we'll talk about that second. Can you still do that with what you're going to do with the other people, or is that a no-go?

I have now on my next-door neighbors. Okay, well, this is what I suggest. Let me just explain first, because nobody knows what I'm talking about. So when Gina was telling me this problem, I was like, listen, once they were like, listen, at first you want to try to be nice and, like, you said, like appeal to their sense of humanity. Like, just do me a favor and be quiet. Like, most of the time, that's what people would do for their neighbors in New York. I mean, if anyone came to me and said, turn your music down or anything, I'd be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

You know what I mean? Because that's just how you should be in life, right? But after, you know, you repeatedly go to them and they're just being fucking assholes. Like, you got to, like, what I suggest is, like, you got to fight crazy with crazy. And I had once had a roommate. I had a lot of roommates in my life. They came and went and I had roommates for many, many years. And I had one that was like a squatter.

She wouldn't fucking leave in my apartment. And it was really horrifying. And she was nuts. And it was like a little scary, actually, because she would not leave. And, you know, what I decided to do is I decided to just be more nuts than her. So I was like, fine, you're going to stay at my house. I'm going to make it so miserable for you that you're going to be running out of my house. So what I did was I called up a million people.

I was on the phone. I was blasting my music. I was inviting people over for a party. I was talking about drugs and alcohol and people were coming over and she flipped out and she was gone the next day because I was like you're going to stay. You're going to go mental here. So, you know, I made it so uncomfortable for her that she left. And so to me what that is is like you fight crazy by being more crazy. So what I suggested to Gino is to do the same thing back to them, but do it a little bit more, do it a little bit more inconsistent. And when they come down and say, what the fuck is that noise, you say, I don't know what you're talking about. Like do the same exact thing and drive them nuts. And then maybe. you know, they'll start toning down their thing. And what I suggested was I have these Bose speakers. And I thought, you know, well, what did, oh, I googled. I googled like, what's the best noise that travels through cement?

Because we've got an older building and it's all cement. And it was base, base like travels and it stays contained. And it's like a really irritating noise. So I was like, why don't we take my Bose speakers, tape them up on your ceiling and just play some fucking music every now and then. Very inconsistent, just like them, very random, out of nowhere. but just enough to make them drive them nuts as well. And I personally think that it was like the best solution ever. Gino, I told you that over the summer and we're in what,

now we're like in October and you've never implemented that. Why didn't you do that a long time ago? considerations about these other neighbors that live next to me. Okay, but Gino, I told you. The solution to that situation. No, I told, like you just have to turn, all you have to do is turn the volume up a little bit. Listen, the situation is exasperated enough to drive you nuts, right?

They're not going to, what are they going to spend their whole life making noise? It's a lot easier for you to turn music on and let them hear bass for them to run around and either fuck each other to make a lot of noise or whatever they're doing, it's actual physical. They have to physically do it. All you have to do with your noise is just turn the volume up and you can relax. You could leave your house and still be driving them nuts. So it's pretty easy to out sort of crazy them or out annoy them in this situation.

And the solution to the problem about the neighbors, I told you, is that what you say first is first you test it out. You get the speakers, you put on the music, and then you go to your next door neighbors and you say, hey, knock, knock, knock. Like, listen, I just want to let you know that I got a new stereo system and I'm testing it out. And I want to make sure that you can't hear my music. It's on right now. Like, can you hear it? Like, you know, let me know so I know what volume I could play. That would be totally normal to do.

that. Sure. Then they're going to know that I have music in here. I could possibly be the culprit making the noise. Yeah, but you know what, Gino? Gino? Right. Those people upstairs are making a lot of fucking noise, right?

I think so, yes. Right. And so does your girl. And when you go to them, they say we're not making noise. When the board goes to them, they say we're not making noise. When the police go to the, if you've called the police, right, they're not making noise. That's what they say. Why can't you say the same thing?

We don't have a music on. There is no music. Like, you just lie like they do. That's how you drive people crazy. That's what you have to do. Well, oddly enough, the advocate today came up, brought that situation up. She said everybody lies about the noise they're making. Exactly.

She said it's not uncommon. Because I told her they've denied everything. Of course. Of course. That's normal people to deny it. Right. That's what I'm saying. You have to be exactly like them, but worse.

I mean, because what you were doing is you were trying to take the high road, okay? The minute that doesn't work, like you either. have to let go, because I gave you other solutions before the stereo scenario. I said get, you know, headphones that you could put on. The minute they start making noise, just listen to music for 20 minutes or leave the house or there was a lot of other options besides that. But if you're, if you don't want to do any of those and you've tried doing everything the right way and you want to solve your problem, then like I said, you have to do something like this. And you do exactly what they do. You just fucking deny it. That's it. Because you're going nuts. I have literally seen Gino on

the verge of murder. Okay. And seriously, you've been so angry, so not happy, and so consumed with this for so long. It's a little, it's very unhealthy. Quite yes. Yes, you did. You told me one day we had a, don't lie. Listen, Gino, you're on the podcast with me. Nobody's listening that's going to arrest you. You contemplated it. I've thought of murder. I thought of throwing my cat out the window. You think I'd ever actually do that? It's like, you know what I mean? You were seriously thinking of like killing people. was so frustrating to you. You actually said those words to me. Don't you remember? I remember. Okay. So see, no lying on here. Nobody knows who you are anyway, so don't worry about it. But, and Gina isn't even your name. So we're making that, you know, that's always the lie on the call.

It's the only thing we lie about his name. So nobody really knows because it's not about that. It's like, I'm sure there's other people that have been in your position. But it has pushed you to that point. But I think, too, though, and I feel like you maybe have agreed with me on this. There's a guy named Unemployed Joe on here. And I talked about how, like, like, how, had him on my show because he's, you know, an older man in his 50s, like out of work, you know, and he had a serious career, you know, doing whatever he did for 30 years. And he got laid off because his company, you sort of went someplace else. And he is totally screwed.

And, you know, I said that I knew some men in my building that were in the same position. And Gino's one of them, right? And I remember thinking, like, you know, it's like in a weird way. Because sometimes I think or I thought with this problem with you that, like, you almost don't want to find a solution. Like it's become like your mission and it's become like your job and it sort of fills up all of your time and all of your conversations. And I always wondered and I think we've spoke about this as like do you think it's sort of filling up that void because you're so bored because it's a very it's so hard not to work. It's like a mind fuck.

It drives you. I think before they drove you crazy, you were being driven crazy with the with the nothingness of your life. I mean, you work. What was your gig again? that, what happened to you? Like, what's your backstory of how you became unemployed? It's very common. I was working for Verizon for 23 years, and they had a reduction in staff, and I was caught up in it.

Right, right. So they let me go after 23 years. Right, and that's a very common story. You were a worker, you worked all your life, 23 years with the same company? Yes. Yeah. So that's tragic. So you went from working 40, 50 hours a week to nothing.

And how many jobs? I mean, this kills me when I've heard of the things that you've gone. to do from having like a career that you know you worked up for 23 years you've gone to whole foods you tried to pass out flyers I mean could you list the job like the places you've gone to try and get work how many years first of all have you been out of work right and tell like explain how many different things like where did you start off doing looking for other like sort of phone companies to work as and do this one I look for other phone companies where my skills could be incorporated I sent over I applied for over 200 positions

Right. Never got a response. Then I started thinking about maybe I could do something menial because I started to collect a social security check, but you can't live on that. Okay. So I started a dog advocate here in New York City. Applied to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Home Depot. I went to be a building doorman to the buildings around the area. I've done a lot of that, and apparently without any success.

Right. You've never got any of those gigs, right? I remember the worst thing I ever thought that you ever went for, and I felt so bad for you, was that you went to, like, pass out flyers for something on the street, and there were, like, transvestites applying for the job, and they, like, got it over you. Well, what was that story?

I was applying to help out an organization for Planned Parenthood, ending out flyers, and then they didn't take me for that. I guess I was too sophisticated for them. I don't know. I'm going to tell every I'm going to explain gino a little bit gino is a very gino's a really nice person like if you meet gino you just know he's good to the core he's a good person

that's why you feel bad for him when you hear this shit but he's also a handsome man gino looks like a beefier george bush like a better looking george bush i mean i think george bush sort of has like a and george bush junior sort of has like a cute tip appearance he's very little you know you look like george bush like inflated you're like more of a manly man George Bush. You're very handsome and you're a good guy. You've been with your girl for 15 years.

You never cheat. You do the right thing. Guy and a guy. I was with her through her whole cancer surgery and recovery. Oh, what kind of cancer did she have? I didn't know that. Breast cancer. Oh, my God. My sister had breast cancer. How many years ago did she have that? Oh, about over 10. Oh, that's great, that she's okay. She's with her. Sure, she ate right. I went to, one nutritionist, that a special is in cancer, what kind of diet. I even took classes.

I read books on how to recover from breast cancer. I did homework for her. So I was really involved in her recovery. Right. That's what I mean. You're like I could, I would bet that that's who you are just meeting you for five minutes. But you know, it doesn't surprise me that you're like just a really good guy.

You're the type of guy. Gino's the type of guy that like he will tell me, oh, there's these magazines that I think you'd like Kathy and they have a lot of really great articles about health because I'm into a lot, like I'm very into health and wellness. And he actually, like, brings them to my house the next day. Like, he remembers things. You're thoughtful.

You're super smart. You're very open-minded. And you're really kind. But unfortunately, everybody isn't like that. You know, appease... Oh, I know. I guess I'm being punished for something maybe I did in my youth. No, it doesn't go...

No. Listen, Gino, you're not being punished. It's not like that. Life is difficult. Every good people, bad people, everyone has to deal with shit. Okay? And in a weird way, okay? a very weird, convoluted way.

Okay? Maybe this is happening because you're so desperate for something, right? Because that nothingness is so deafening to people. I get it. It's so hard not to work and sort of occupy your time and keep your head above water when you've been working in the same company for 23 years. So in a weird way, maybe this is happening because it gives you something to do. it's not a karma it's not a fuck you gino you're a good guy and nothing happens to good people i don't believe

that shit happens to everybody i mean listen some people it's more unfair than others for sure and i think for men older men and i talked about this with unemployed joe it's a fucked up time for them and to lose jobs at 23 you know after being them and at your age and not being able to get a job and you're trying to work for planned parenthood passing out flowers on the street it's horrifying like horrifying it's happening to a lot of people. But that's just like what's happening. It's still not. I don't believe it's some sort of conspiracy against you. It's just a... I often find myself getting into that pitfall. What did I do in the past to deserve this? Of course, but that's terrible. You don't need to think that because you didn't, there's so many people that are in your same position. I told you to listen to Unemployed Joe

episode. I think you'd like, he didn't do anything. He's a good guy too. There's terrible people that lose their jobs. It's not, there's no, um, it's just, it's random. It's not. It's not. It's Now, I don't believe in that. I believe, what I believe is, I mean, most of the time I believe that what you put in, you get back. You're a worker. You know, you're into working and then you get a job. And that, like, right now, it is very unfair that all these people like you that have

always done the right thing are out of work and they're totally fucked. But I think in everybody's life, Gino, and if you watch, I love biographies. And I always tell people when they're in a bad time and they think nothing's going to change and they're feeling so down about themselves. Like, watch 10 biographies. There's not one person out there. if you watch their whole span of life that doesn't go through horrifying times, you know,

and there might be one or two really bad ones. You're at like probably your worst time in your life. But I think we all go through them. No? Yeah, that makes good sense, Kathy. Yeah, look at your poor girl. She had breast cancer. My sister went through that.

I mean, that's like, you know, when my sister's over five years and she's doing great, but that's like, you know, and thank God she hadn't had anything before that that was really bad. but everyone has those very, very, very dark times. That's just fucking life. Do you know what I mean? It's not about like payback or anything.

I do think if you do bad shit, bad shit happens to you. But I think even if you're a great person, you're going to have to deal with adversity. You're going to have to deal with bad people and you always want to keep your head up high. I personally think that you're spinning out on this thing in a negative way. You know, I thought that like, you know, going up and being nice and then going to the board. but once you do everything like once or twice and it doesn't work, you need to fucking stop and figure out something else. Okay, and to me, the solution would have been either figure out a way to put some fans

or put a lot of white noise in your apartment so that you don't hear it, or get the speakers and mind fuck them back, right? But instead, you're just going to the, now you're at the fucking state senator's office and all that stuff. And in a weird way, it's like your job. But it might be something that's just filling up your time. that's an interesting way of looking at it but I guess if I did have something else to do if I did have a job this would definitely interfere with it because according to the latest

statistics noise can affect your health even when you're sleeping and affect your heart your blood pressure your mood your digestive system that's a fact listen I am not saying this is not that's not what I'm saying Gino I am not saying that if you had a job and you had something about you do that, you wouldn't come home and be aggravated by that. What I'm saying is that maybe you'd see a quicker solution to the problem because you wouldn't have much more time. Like you'd have a very limited time to deal with that because you'd have something more in your life. So you'd go for the quickest thing.

You wouldn't have all this time to call this person and go to the board and write letters and look up this and do that. Do you understand? So that's all I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Listen, I'm an HSP. It's called, it's a highly sensitive person.

there's books written on it. I have lived, I had to go to, I had to live in a hotel once for six weeks because I worked at a gig in Maryland. And I changed the light bulbs because the lighting was like fluorescent looking and it fucking freaked me out. I am very sensitive to lighting, to noise. I can't stand when people chew with their mouths open. Like I have a lot of, a lot of things irritate me and I can't help it.

And it is very stressful if you're that type of person, you know? And so it is stressful to hear shit that you don't want to hear and stuff. but I do things to that I that are in my control to stop all that. Do you understand? I never go to a restaurant because we all eat in New York City. People don't understand this because most people don't live here that are listening. You know, you're always like when you go out to dinner, you're like not even a foot away from the people eating next to you.

And so many people eat with their mouths full. And I got to say, it's disgusting. I don't know why people don't have manners, but you should, when you chew your food, you shouldn't chomp. And it makes me fucking nuts. But what I do. Yeah. What I do, I'm not going to.

And let me tell you, when people start chomping, it's like an actual disease. They call it mesophonia that you actually get like violent feelings for that person. That's what happens to me. I experience violent feelings. I want to like stab the person to death next to me, you know? But what I do is I don't yell at the person. I don't sit there and complain about it. I carry around my sure headset.

I have a sure like headset that I use for my phone and my music. And I put those suckers in no matter where I go out. to eat. Nobody knows they're in my ear. I could hear the person talking to me, but it takes away the chomping. That's what I do when I go to the movies. Do you know, do you understand? Yeah, absolutely. And when I'm home now, right now, what people don't understand that's happening right now is we are having massive construction on our apartment and they are drilling the shit out of the building at all times. So you know what I do when I'm working on my stuff from home? I put on my headset and I put on my music and I don't listen because if I listen, I will go mental

and I don't want to go mental. So I put on music and I tend to my stuff on my computer and I work like I have to that way. So I just think that like if you were working at a job, you would figure out a different way because I think it's very hard to control anybody else. You know, I have always in my life when I've lived in New York, had a fan of Werno. Is it what's that name of Verado? What's the name of that fucking fan?

Vernato, the Verna. The Vernado fan, yeah. Yeah, my Vernado fan is on all the time. I'm so used to that noise. When people come over, some people will come over and be like, what's that noise? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And it's my fan. I've lived with that for 20 years that I've lived in New York because when I first moved here

and people were putting on their music and shit, I couldn't, I didn't want to keep like going over and harassing people and asking people. It was just so aggravating that I got the fan and it completely solved all the problems. I never hear anything through that fan. Now, when they're drilling outside my apartment or an apartment next to me, there's nothing else I could do except put on music or leave. And that's what I do. I don't go and complain. I don't because you're never going to, you can never control those people above you.

You could drive them nuts, like I said. You could go and complain. You could have them thrown out. None of those things are going to solve your problem anytime soon. They're really not. Unless you. Yeah. I can't leave the place at 11 at night.

No, I know. Because I would try to get some sleep. Have you tried? I never hear anything. because they're not home. Have you tried a fan? Have you tried some? They come home.

Okay. Have you tried white? Um, Gino. Have you tried any kind of white noise? Have you gotten a very loud fan? And wherever you and your girl are at 11 o'clock at night, you plug it in. And have you ever tried to turn that on when they're making the noise and see if you don't hear anything? Well, the only thing we've turned on a bit louder is the television.

No, that's not going to, no, that's just going to be irritating. Try a fan. The fan takes away a lot of noise. I'll let you borrow my fan and try it out. We do have a fan. It's a Lasco. Does it make noise? Yeah, it makes noise, but not loudly, but maybe we could hard it up enough.

Yeah, put it on the high. Bring it over. I don't know where you guys are at 11 o'clock at night when they come home. If you're in your living room, put it really close to you and put that on and see if that works. I'm telling you, you need to figure out something in your own environment that will make them disappear to you. Do you understand? Because everything else is just... What?

Very good suggestion. Yeah, try that. The fan has saved my life in New York. I don't... Because listen, we live in apartments. You are always going to hear noise. That's just the... We have to...

Anyone that lives in an apartment buildings has to understand. Like, we all go through that and people understand. That's why I'm having it on the podcast because I feel like other people listening have had this problem. And what do you do? I personally think it's best to try and control your own environment because you can't control other people.

I can't control everybody chomping in a restaurant. restaurant. It's disgusting to me how those people eat. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I can't even stand the voices. There's a, have you ever, do you ever eat in Murray Hill? There's a, there's a, there's a, um, neighborhood in New York City called Murray Hill. And oh my God, you go into that neighborhood and every girl in the neighborhood has a very bad accent. It sounds like you're, it's like a cart. I don't know. It's freaks me out. The way that they talk, I call them the rare, rare, rare girls. They're always talking and they have very bad voices and they sound like they're from Long Island and they have, they're very vapid and have nothing interesting to say. And I can't even

stand to hear them talk. It literally, if I'm like super tired, I have PMS, I'll want to shoot them too. So that's when I put in my headset because it really, those, those earbuds, they're noise cancelling. So they go deep into your ear and I don't hear anything. It takes away their own. Try that too. Because with that, I'm going to tell you, if I go to the movie theaters, right, I could put those headphones in, right? And I'll still. hear the person next to me talking and I'll still hear the TV, the movie, but I won't hear anybody chomping their popcorn. So why don't you also try that? Try to put in a pair of headsets, like, you know, things that go into your ears. I think I have extra ones and throw those in.

You'll still be able to hear your girl. You'll still be able to hear the TV, but you might not be a half to hear their noise. Good suggestion. Yeah, those are two things you're going to try, right? The fan and those earplugs. They work for me with so much. I take them with me. I can't, I will not leave my house without them, especially, like you get in a cab and they're on the phone and they're screaming and talking or they're sniffing a million times. I can't take any noise, I'm telling you. And those headphones are sure, they're by sure is the people that make them. But I think I have extra attachments that just go in your ears. And you need to, they need to be the ones that are like mushy so that they really go in your ear and then expand. And they really take. And they really

take away certain noises but allow others in and they're really killer. So that might help too. Yeah, can you hear the TV through them? Yeah, I hear a movie loud and clear. I hear the person sitting next to me. You absolutely will be able to hear the TV. And listen, if you have to turn the TV up and not, who gives a shit? But yes, for sure you're going to be able to hear the TV.

Very good. That's a good suggestion. Yeah, you might. And I'm glad that you're looking to, like, I would rather you get a job and get past this and be done with it already than dealing with this. the state people and the advocates and all that shit. Because even though they might be able to help you, it's going to take a long time, don't you think?

Of course. You know, and it's not, life's too short to be so aggravated. But I think the bigger problem is what you were talking about before, like you sometimes sit around and think, like, what did you do and you deserve this and this is bad karma? That's terrible to think because that's not true. Well, I guess that's being very negative, but after a year, that's what I resists.

sorted through thinking. Well, listen, who would blame you? Okay? You were somebody that has tried everything. You really have to listen to that unemployed Joe thing. I told him to like join a support group or something because it's very hard. Like you start to blame yourself, but if you really sort of listen

to other people or new other people in your situation and there's many people, you'd understand that it's everything that you're feeling and everything that you're thinking and every negative feeling that you're having is very normal because you're in a really bad situation. but what else can you do at that time?

I mean, for me, when I've been in really tough times, like going to the gym, like the endorphins that I get from working out has always helped keep me above water. I've always also known that when I've had like times of unstructured times of my life, like making sure that every day I accomplish doing something that I needed to do, you know, like no matter what that was so that I would feel like I got something done, you know, being active and also getting out of the fucking neighbor. and like walking around or going someplace else.

You know, like there's certain things you could do to just keep your head above water. None of them are going to make you totally happy because you're going to be totally happy when you get a job again and, you know, or you could start to what I suggested to Gina. It was like maybe write a book or start a blog. Like you're somebody that has a lot of opinions. You're interested in a lot of information. And, you know, you could go online and do a blog or, you know, or get involved with some online stuff that would be really good too and be very time consuming for you.

That's very interesting. Yeah. Because I do have a lot of interests. You do, and you love to read. Like, what I always see Gino doing, we have like a common area on our roof that's really beautiful and people go up there and they could work in there. And what Gino does is he goes up there. And you always have all these printouts of all these articles that you're reading

that are really fascinating. And that's, you know, there's other people that would love that information. So you could take all that stuff that you're learning and you're going around and you're investigating. You could take all that information. and put it out there for other people. And there would be people that would be interested in it. Look, I do a podcast and talk to people just about their problems.

And I mean, you might be horrified to know this, Gino, but like the guy last week was like a guy that just wanted to have anal sex and he was crazy. So I'll talk to anybody. But, you know, people listen to my podcast. People will read your blog. You know, when you think of the internet, like you're thinking of everybody in the whole world. So it's not hard to find other people that are like you that are interested in the same thing. So, you know, and I'll take up your time. and it's creative.

You're a more creative person, and it would give you something to do, and you would probably be a little bit happier. Well, one thing I can say about myself is that I prefer a comfortable rut, if you will. Right. See, I'm the opposite. I could give a shit about a conversation.

I'm like, bring it on, I'll do it, and then I'll be done with it, and I go. I'm not comfortable in ruts. You know, and I said this before I got on the call with you as I did a little intro. and I talked about the difference between problem havers and problem solvers, you know, and sometimes if you're the type person that's like a comfortable run, it's like you're, you border on being like a problem haver. Like you're not solving that problem and you're just sitting in it, you know? And I think that life's too short for that.

The problem is I've been trying to resolve this, you know, logically and through the protocol. That's why. So this woman I spoke to today about this advocate, she was angry. She says, you can't be nice all the time. You have to show. Exactly. Well, I told you a long time ago, do the revenge thing. But I also think you need to try the things that I suggested.

But I think, you know, all that stuff that you were trying was sort of sitting in that rut because in a weird way, it was fulfilling you too. It was giving you something to do. Possibly. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what I like about you, Gino. Gino's very sort of self-aware. You're always open to sort of looking at yourself and really being open to the.

maybe like that's what's going on. It's not like you're closed-minded. You've always been sort of interested in spiritual things and you're very open with different, like you did, what did you do? Esther, like, what is those organizations you've done in the past? Pardon? What are those organizations that you've been involved in in the past? Like the...

Oh, you mean like self-help groups? Yeah, yeah. Like, you've done a lot of that stuff. Like you're very open-minded. Oh, do you ever heard of Est, the Werner-Ehard series? Yeah, that's what I said, Est, right? That's what you did, right? Yeah, I've done that.

I've done many of those. I've done a which is called LRT Loving Relationships Training which is self trying to find out what makes you the way you are. Hey, have you ever heard of

Have you ever heard of Harville Hendricks? No, I haven't. Oh, he's the fucking best. I'm going to play a clip of him on my podcast. I'm going to play it when we're done because I can't do it while I'm on the phone with you but when you listen to this episode, because I want you to listen to your episode, you'll hear this thing about Harval Hendricks. He's like, he's like a relationship guru.

Him and his wife have this way of the way they see relationships, I believe is like the most brilliant way. And he believes that relationships, like most likely everybody has. He thinks like 20% of the population, you know, are healthy and are capable of having healthy relationships. The 80% are fucked up and dysfunctional and we're all going to have a dysfunctional pull to somebody that's going to push our crazy buttons. And that's just so that's what I'm dealing with. Most people I know are dealing with, right? And the majority of people are. And what he believes is most people when that happens after like the romantic love goes away and I think he says that's at about two years, everybody starts needleing each other and all that other stuff comes on and they realize, oh my God, you're like my mother or my father or they

don't, maybe you don't even put that together. But that person becomes like the biggest pain in the ass. And they're stressing you out and they're making you miserable. And then people decide to get divorced because they're like, oh, we're not compatible. But what he believes and his wife believes is that That's actually like why you pick that person because that's supposed to happen in relationships. And that's like relationships are in your life to heal like your childhood wounds and to do that. And you're always going to be attracted. You can leave that person and then we all see it happen. You go to the next person.

And even if you think they're the exact opposite, they're exactly like that last person. So we all have that same. Absolutely. We all have that same person we're going to attract. We're going to play out the same thing. But what it's about really is that when you hit that place and things go bad, you have to realize that that other person, if you're really able to communicate to each other, that if you give each other what you're looking for and you sort of work through that, it's very healing. And he says

it's so much more profound and it's so interesting what he says about relationships and about needs. He says something like, you know, whatever your partner needs from you that stresses you out is something that you have, but you're out of touch with. It's the part of yourself that you detach from childhood. And so if you could learn to bring that up and give that to your partner, it not only is healing for them because that's what they need for their childhood. It's healing for you because it's the part of yourself that you deny. So you become a better person. One of the things that in all of these seminars is romantic love is different from like parental love. Right. Parental love, you love your children no matter what. Right. For the most part.

But romantic love, we're always expecting something. You're investing yourself in another person and you expect a certain response. And when we don't get that response, then we act in all the tithers. Right, because we think, I remember my therapist saying, like, you know, what I, you know, some of you are, we're all looking for that unconditional love, right? And, but that comes from maybe your pets and maybe that's going to come from your

children, but that's not going to come from your partner, you know? No, it's like that's, no. No, it's, well, it's just that it's conditional. Partnerships are conditional. You can't say, I want to be with you for the rest of your life and I'm just going to treat you like shit and you have to accept it. Like that's not the way that it goes. Partnerships are conditional. You have to be kind to that person. If you have to make that person like you or they're going to fucking leave you. So that is a conditional relationship. But, you know, that's to be worked on. I think there's some friends that I have that I'm at a place in my life where I have unconditional love for them because, and I think relationships eventually get there after many, many, many years. But I think it takes hard work to get to that place where you're, but I think with the pets or children, you know, that unconditional love is immediate and it's there. But you're not getting that. from partnerships and everyone thinks that's where it's at and it's not.

Partnerships are supposed to be difficult, but especially if you're fucked up, but really you're supposed to work on it. I remember I was banging this guy. I was in a relationship with a guy and I told him the whole Harville Hendrix thing and I was like, you know, like if you really gave me what I'm looking for that stresses you out, you know, it could help you and like vice versa, whatever. And he was like, Kathy, you need to do that shit with someone that's interested. I mean, he's very close off to it.

But I think it's really good. I don't know how we got on this topic because I think you brought up Aston relationships. Harville Hendricks is just my favorite person ever and what he believes in relationship is so fucking great. I'm going to play the clip. You should listen to it. But anyway, well, you always have to inquire about yourself. Once you think you have an answer to a problem, that's when you need to start thinking of other possibilities. Right. And I also believe, like, I mean, I like to face problems. I always believe that life is school, like my sort of take on things. I've always been into self-help. I've always been into changing myself and become a better person. I believe

that. That's what we're put here for. is like school and it's difficult. So I'm always like bring it on. Like I love challenges. Like, and I'm always like even when life is bad, it's good. To me,

I could be having the worst day, but I think life is fucking great and it's fun as shit. And I kind of like difficult things. So I'm always up for a challenge. And I think you'd have a problem, you solve it, and then you move on to the next thing,

you know, um, and that's what it's about. If you're sad, then putting it into practice. Oh. Well, listen,

my life has been brutal. I've dealt with a lot. Like some people will just deal with quitting drinking their whole life and they battle it back and I did that and I've been sobered 11 years. I've conquered many different parts and I think that's why I'm really good at helping people with their problems and so I think that that is why I've had to go through many hard things and sort of conquer it because then I can help others and I love that about myself.

I'm very non-judgmental because I'm completely flawed. I'm completely in touch with it and I've been through so much that I could relate to most people, you know, and that helps me relate to people and I would rather be that person than the people that I know that have never been through anything bad or they're not really in touch with that and they look at other people that are going through bad time or doing fucked up things and they judge them, which is because that's bullshit. You never know where you're going to wind up in life.

You never know what's going to happen to you. And you never know anybody's full story. I have people that call up that if you just read my little paragraphs, you'd think, oh, dirty pig, he's doing this or he's doing that. But when I really talk to anybody, most people, and I think they're like 10% are like just bad seeds, but most people, when you dig deep or just good people and everyone just a little fucked up

because that's the human being existence. We're meant to be fucked up. When we'll be perfect when we're dead. When we're spirit. You know what I mean? You're not supposed to be perfect as a human being. Yep, I agree with you on that. Yeah, and you're not perfect.

So give yourself a fucking break. Gino, you're not doing anything wrong. You're just fucked with bad timing and what's going on in the economy and you lost your gig. And hopefully you get another gig. I'm going to bring you later today or tomorrow. I'll bring you. So I'm going to look for some headphones for you and try that fan thing and let me know how it goes. Okay, we'll do, Kathy.

I want to thank you for your time and participation. It's been very helpful for me. Cool. I'm glad you called in, and I want you to listen to Unemployed Joe. I think it will inspire you. I want you to listen to him. I think it'll help you just hear somebody else in your same story. And if anything, he has it a lot worse than you do, okay?

You're doing better than Unemployed Joe. So listen to that, and then I'll let you know when this airs. Thanks for calling him. Okay. Thank you very much. Bye. I hope I let me let me. I was able to lend some questions.

Totally. Always do. Thanks, Gino. Thank you, Kat. Have a good day. You too. Bye. Okay. So that was Gino. He lives in my building. Okay, so I love Gino. He's very nice. You know, I don't know if many people have that problem, but like I find it interesting that you never know where the conversation goes. And I think that there's interesting things that happen on the call that maybe people will take something from, right? I guess. I don't know. Like I said in the beginning, like people write in all the time and they give me their two cents.

So let me know. Like, if you thought this call was really boring, let me know. if you thought it was great because whatever let me know i'm trying not to i mean i love all the sex stuff and the crazy things and sometimes i feel oh that's what i always have to do but um i like talking to people about any kind of problem like that's just because i'm just like wired that way so i hope that you my listeners feel the same way and that's what you're into and that's cool so but write in and let me know if you fucking hate it if you like it you know all that stuff and if you want to be on the show and you have a problem call in uh to strictly anonymous podcast at gmail dot com follow me on twitter at strict anonymous and like my Facebook page and that is um strictly anonymous oh and I have to you know I've

been doing this because I wrote a book actually a long time ago it's like it's and it's really fucking good it's like a cartoon book I drew it I wrote it and it's basically like um my stories of like every one of my relationships from the time I lost my virginity to the time I turned 40 they're not really true but they're not like you know fiction nonfiction you know kind of that little gray area um but they're drawn all in stick figures and they're really fucking funny. And if you go to my website, because I created a website a while ago, it got shipped out to publishers and nobody took it because I didn't have an online platform and I wasn't famous enough and no one gives a shit about me. But so I'm trying to get a platform by doing this podcast. And if I do, then I could like publish my book. But if anyone wants to read it and tell me what they think that'd be great. There's a chapter actually on my website. KathyK-K-A-com. It's K-A-T-H-I-K-A-Y.com. If you click on the book link, there's a sample chapter. You could read that. You know, it's girls relationships with guys, but I've had guys tell me that they've read it and they liked it. There's a lot of SEX.

There's a lot of sex and it's really funny. And what guys have said that they like about is they learn about women. But, you know, check it out if you want and let me know what you think. And then I'm making stickers and t-shirts for my podcast too for the logo. I think it's more for women than men, maybe the logo, but maybe you'll buy your girl. Because I always think more men listen to my podcast, but maybe you'll buy it for your girl. So that's all the stuff that's going on. Oh, wait a second.

Before I go, though, the last thing before I go, I want. and play that Harville Hendricks clip. The whole video is a minute and 22 seconds. And the most fascinating thing he says is like towards the end. So, you know, if the beginning of it sounds like retarded and there's nothing really going on, just listen to that. Like wait till the end because it gets really good. And he says this one thing that's really simple, but really amazing about relationships.

Listen to this. Well, the healing power of relationship is embedded in the facticity of relationship as primary. I am my relationships. And so in a relationship, I get to, I get my needs met. And my needs fundamentally are social needs. The primary need of food and shelter and so forth. That's not what we're all about. We're all about connection and being in relationship.

So relationship offers you that opportunity to get emotional needs met, which you can't get unless you are in a relationship where there's some exchange, where, like we say in Imago, what your partner needs from you the most is what you're least capable of giving. And what that means is that your partner's need, which stresses you out because it's not you to do that, is the call to grow that part of yourself because that's the part of yourself that's undeveloped. Your partner's not asking for something unreal. You just don't own it, but you have that potential. and if you'll respond to the partner need, then you'll grow. And in that growth, you recover something that was shut down for you in your childhood.

So the healing is that you get emotional needs met. And the second piece is that you get activated into developing an undeveloped part of the self and recover your own wholeness. Oh, my God. I can't even handle that. If that is not the most brilliant thing that you've ever heard, then you're just not ready to hear it. And I know I sound like fucking Oprah right now. But when I listen to that last couple of bits of what he says, it is just, it's like,

it sends chills down my spine. It is like the truth. It is like the end all be all of what fucking relationships are all about. Anyway, so that's Harville Hedrick. And just so you know, he has a lot of great books. His books are fucking awesome. And like what he says is like all you girls and guys out there that always go after bad people and you can't help it and you put yourself down.

down because that's me. I go, I have a certain type and it's not a good type because my dad wasn't so great. But it's like you're just, and you feel, and I put myself down for it. It makes me fucking mental, you know, because I'm like really tough on myself, but you can't help it. That's what you're supposed to do. And that's who you're always going to be attracted to because that's the only way to actually heal the stuff that happened to you. So don't worry about, you know, those bad people you mean. Just try to find an evolved one that will do the Harville Hendricks method or understand what it's all about, all that dysfunction. It's supposed to be there. It's not a bad thing.

Okay, anyway. All right, I'll be back next week with a new column. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my chef. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show.

Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book.

Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over-the-top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.

It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. The Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly?

And be on the show. Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous.