Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 046 - Comedian Joe DeRosa and Kathi Discuss their Infamous Date, Dating in General, Booty Calls and More

Episode Date: November 3, 2014

Comedian Joe Derosa and Kathi were set up on a date years ago and it went horribly wrong. They hashed it out on Robert Kelly's YKWD podcast and now 3 years later they reconnect to hash it out again. Tune in to hear them discuss their infamous date, dating in general, booty calls and a whole lot more.    **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Podcasts with Kathy.

No more co-hosts. I don't do co-hosts anymore. I've got this thing down. But I do have a really good guest this week. This is a guest. I mean, he's going to be calling in because he lives in L.A. now. A lot of my listeners are going to know this guy because they listen to Robert Kelly's podcast. And they remember an episode called The Best Podcast.

podcast ever, which featured a recap of a date between me and Mr. Joe DeRosa. That went horribly wrong. I would say horribly right because we got like the best podcast ever out of it. But Joe would probably say it went horribly wrong and there was a lot of controversy over it because me and Joe went out on a date. I didn't like him and he thought because I didn't like him that I should pay half the bill. And that was like a big thorn in his side and we went on the podcast to discuss our date and that came up and it turned into a big battle.

I think he went on Opie and Anthony talked about it. I was getting death threats via Twitter. It was very exciting for me, I have to say. I was fine with it. It was like the most attention I've ever got in my life and it was all good. But Joe was really bad but we made up

and everything was fine and he's in LA now and actually a listener that listened to the show to tweet in me or texted me. Somehow this person got in touch with me. He's like, you should have Joe on. I'm like, he would be a good guest to have on because we could rehash that whole topic and talk about the whole dating thing and how it really works. Because me and Joe get along. Everything's cool. But, you know, I think it'd be really interesting with me and him hash that out in a friendly way and talk about it because it was something that most listeners that listen to that podcast. Everyone had an opinion about it because they think it's like a hot topic. So that's what we're going to do on this call. We're going to talk to Joe DeRosa, the infamous Joe DeRosa, Kathy, Casey. battle goes on. I'll be right back with Joe. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show?

Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hey, Joe, you're on the air with me. And I just explained to everybody about what happened and about, oh, shit, did you just hear that? About what happened when we were on Robert Kelly's podcast and we went on a date.

I mean, they set up our date, right? Our date was set up. Everyone knew that, right? We explained that. Yeah, but somehow it went to see what happened. Right, but somehow it went horribly wrong. What I just explained to my listeners is that, like, we went on a date. I didn't like you.

And because I didn't like you, you thought that I should pay half of the bill. And I have to say, before we even get into that, that I had a date recently. And I'll read you a text that I got sent after it because I totally blew the guy off. And he said the same thing. Like, you know, considering you knew that you weren't interested in me right then and there, why don't you pick up half the tab, like for real, you know? And it was just so time. Yeah, I agree with that.

You do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't think, I mean, I think if you're not sure, you know, I'm not saying like, I'm not saying like, you know, you got to know where it's going on the first date to get paid for or whatever. But I definitely think that if you're on a date and you know from the, you know, well before that check comes that you have absolutely no interest in this person and you definitely don't want to see them again. Yeah, it's absolutely your obligation to say, hey, listen, I don't. You know, I know we're out right now, but I got to be honest, this isn't going to happen again. I'm not feeling this at all. So I want, right, since we're just friends and I don't want to get you to get the wrong impression, I'll pay for half my bill.

I could see where you're coming from on that. I think, you know, my day with the guy was so weird because he really dropped some weird bombs on me during the lunch. And just so, you know, he took me for lunch and he was a vegan. So I went to some, like, fucking vegan restaurant. I literally ordered, ordered dumplings. He ordered a beet salad. I mean, it was pretty horrifying. And so the tab was probably $17, you know, I mean, like, for real.

So. The whole bill was sending? Yeah. And I never, yeah, and I never carried cash. So what was I going to do? Be like, let's split it on our cards. Like, that was embarrassing. At that point, I should have just picked up the whole tab if I knew he realized that I would

have just paid for the whole thing, you know? Well, people split on their cards all the time. All the time I split with my friends on our cards. I know, but you know what I mean. It's just like, if it's for $17. like I'll just pay for the whole like I'll just pay for the whole thing and I have to say I think I was just in complete shock with like what he was sort of pimping out and to me like at the lunch that I was like I you know I didn't know I it was like I had to process it and then after I left I was like of course I'm

never going to go out with this guy and then so I just totally blew him off and then he literally came back and sent me like harassing text like he was so pissed at me that I like blew him off and that was the other thing I was going to discuss with you like if you're not interested in a guy like and you go out on a lunch date with him do you have to have like a whole whole thing? whole big conversation that you're not interested or can you just not even never text them back? No, I don't think you need to break up with somebody you're not even seeing. I mean, I think that's stupid. I mean, I never, I've never taken money. I mean, I'm sure maybe I did when I was a lot younger and didn't know what I was doing. Like, there were probably times when a girl offered me

money and I accepted it or something. But I'm talking like I must have been in my early 20s when I did that. But I mean, I would never take money from a woman. you want a half. You want a half the money for me. This is what we've argued about. No, I didn't, I didn't want half from you. What we disagreed on was that you said, you had an, you had like, your whole attitude about the whole thing was like, tough shit.

You asked me how to deal with it. And that, that bothered me. I would have never taken the money from you. I just was like, I just was kind of like, I was even open to the discussion is what you're saying. Listen, I took video.

I mean, I joke with girls all the time about it. You know, like, I'll go out with girls and they'll reach for their while. And I always say, like, oh, I really appreciate that fake reach. Thank you. Like, you know, I think it's funny. Like, you know, but I would never take the money. I know, but the difference between me and you, Joe, is that I have taught my girlfriends. I have literally taught girls that are younger than me.

I have taught them. When the bill comes, you need to pretend that your arms are paralyzed. like don't ever do the reach like I'm anti the reach like completely like seriously I'm old school no after four dates you should do it okay but no you should do it every time you should do it every time

it shows appreciation no appreciation is just like laughing at their jokes giving it like you know no it's not yes oh my god we're gonna have another fight Joe I feel it we're gonna have another fight that's not but that's not don't know don't laugh at their

If you don't want to laugh, don't laugh. Like, that's just laughing at jokes and stuff. That's a human connection. Nobody's asking you to be a fake person. Okay, forget about that, but you know what I mean? I'm saying there's no, I tell my friends the obel. Like, you're saying you want a girl to reach every single time vertipay. And I tell my girlfriend's like, no, you're totally being disrespectful to yourself by actually doing the reach.

I'm like pretend your arms are paralyzed and don't you know anything. How do you figure that? I don't understand. Because I think that there's roles. I think that there's roles that women and men play in. society and it's just the way that it is and I feel very like old-fashioned that way. No, not really.

No, not really. What does women live mean? Like, what does that mean? We're going to have, I can feel it already, Joe. Women's liberation? What does it mean, though? Like, what is like the whole, like, what would, if I believed in women's live, what would I believe that?

We always have to pay half. Like, what do they say, women's lives? Oh, no. I don't think you have to pay half. What I'm saying is, is like, and I don't think that I don't, when I said it every time. I don't mean like a woman needs to reach every time. I want to clarify what I mean by that. Saying, obviously, if it gets to a, you know, if you get to a place, I'm not saying keep up that charade forever. But I do think like before you're in a real comfortable place or you've

established with the guy that he's the one that takes care of that part of the relationship, yeah, you should be reaching for it. And you should pick it up once in a while, too. Of course. Like I I think so absolutely I respect I really respect a girl That's like That's like

Hey I already pay for that I got it already You took me out the last three times I got it So you know like Like I appreciate that I don't expect it And I don't look for it

But I appreciate it When she does it Because if a woman Really wants to show you That she appreciates You're spending money on her She'll figure out a way to pay for something Totally

You know But but But to the other thing, women's, when I say women's live, I'm saying like, the whole point of women's liberation was that women can function independently from men and can, and don't need to depend on men. So it's like, you're liberated. Yes. So that would mean that you don't need a man to pay for you. Yeah, I have so many. I have like two different feelings about that.

Like there's a part of me that's very fiercely independent and totally. sort of, it feels that way, absolutely. And then I have this other part of me that has recently learned to grasp the other side, the more traditional side of being a woman, which is it's okay to let a man sort of do things for me

and help me and support me and everything. And I have to say, being on that other side of that and being open to that feels very, like less defensive as a woman and feels nice for me. Because I was always the woman that did everything. I was always the woman that did everything, I never took a dime from anybody.

and now I have someone I could kind of lean on and it's not a bad thing does that mean I'm not like independent no I felt like it was actually harder for me to learn how to depend on a man or anybody than to be so like alone like I could do everything myself nobody's saying you can't accept a gesture

what I'm saying though is like to tell a girl that she has to act paralyze when the bill comes is bad advice that's two different things Because Joe, these girls, okay, but, okay, Joe, you're in my age range, right? You're in your 40s, are you in your 40s or 30, late 30s? I forgot. I'm in my 30s. Okay, are you, but you're over 35.

How old are you? I don't even know. You're a younger man. Oh, you were a younger man? I didn't know. Okay, you're 37. Okay. I'm 45, so maybe, I don't know, but maybe we're from the same generation.

Are we from the same generation? I just feel like the younger, these are my younger girls that I say this, too, because I don't know if you see this, and I'm sure you have. have so many people that you hang out with that are younger. But in the younger generation, there is no sort of old-fashioned stuff going on at all. Like these young girls, they split tabs, they pay for things. Guys take their money. They say, let me pay for the tip, and then they take the money and they don't even give them change.

Like, I've heard all kinds of stories from girls, women that are younger, about the shit that goes down. And I just can't believe it. I just think. And so that's why I tell them because it's like, that's the way it used to be. Like, that's how I grew up. that's men. I had like this one poor boyfriend when I was younger and he was so poor but it didn't matter. That man if I if he went into the store to buy I wanted to buy gum he paid for my gum like

he was like he's the man and that was his thing and it wasn't like I took him to the cleaners I bought gum and snapples probably that's all I took him for but he was going to pay for it do you know what I mean and nowadays that doesn't happen a lot there's not those like old fashion money I mean it shouldn't I mean look if you want to I mean if you really want to break down why it is or isn't, it shouldn't be happening as much these days. Like, it just shouldn't be. But women are still looking good. Like, okay, so a man is supposed to pay for a woman.

Okay, no, no, because I'm saying, when I was saying before, there's two, there's, like, roles that women play in society, you know, that are attributed to women and the ones that are attributed to man. A man pays for things and a woman looks good. You know, women are still keeping up with that. Would you like for a woman to show up on a date in sweatpants? and a mustache? But men have to look good on the day.

Well, that's their own thing. Men are getting, right, men, but a lot, right, and men are getting much more metro lately, and they do dress better, which is a great thing. But women take a lot more care of themselves because that's how they value. That's what men look for. Oh, my God, women nowadays at 25,

they're getting injections in their face. They have hair extensions, fake asses, fake tits. Nobody's asking them to do that. That's dumb shit that they're doing. Well, Kim Kardashian is asking them to do that. well it's if anybody that follows kim cardatch well you i know we don't talk about celebrities i'm a show i can't see it's a fucking moron right but all the girl i'm just saying that they're doing it harder you're saying that men and women are splitting things more evenly these days and that's

that's ultimately the way it should be that was the that was the point of what people like loria steinem were trying to establish with the feminist movement it was like there is so you know in this fight and this quest for equal pay and equal treatment and whatever and equal respect. And as we get gradually and gradually further down that road, people,

the sexes should be independently. Yeah, as long as those other things that you just said are getting better too. Like has the pay gotten better for women? Is there more equality for women in all those other areas so that when you show up for the date it's good?

Because I don't know. I don't know about that. I mean, it's hard to be a woman in the workplace. You don't get paid as much. You don't get promoted as much. You know, when I was younger and... You don't get the what as much? Paid.

You don't get paid as much. You don't get promoted. You're sitting across from somebody on an interview. They take you less seriously than if you're man. When I used to go out, when I worked at all these huge companies that I worked at, and I went to work functions, you know, if I was talking to somebody, a business person and I was networking, you know, the second question they'd ask me is like, do you have a boyfriend? Like, it always turned to just personal stuff. It never stuck to business, you know? Well, I'm not saying, listen, I'm not saying...

I'm not saying that that doesn't happen, but you've got to admit in this day and age, far more women than ever before. And, I mean, you can turn on any TV show or any YouTube channel or whatever to see this is true. I mean, so many women right now get granted opportunities based just on their gender. And I know women that say all the time, I'm so grateful I'm a woman. It's so much easier for me, especially in the world. I mean, I don't know. Well, listen, having a woman has its purpose.

You get free shit. People are nice to you. I mean, you have to be a hot woman, you know. But you get a lot of stuff. There's pros and cons. There's pros and cons. For sure. There's pros and cons for men, too.

Look, I've been flat out cold before in my field of work. We don't need another white guy. You're just another white guy. You know, if you were not, you know. Right. If you were Azizanzari and you were Indian or like you have to be like some sort of niche. Right. Sometimes sometimes it's a racial thing.

I'm not even really white when you break it down. Yeah, you're not really. But I mean, the point is that I don't even mean to make it a racial thing. It's just my point is, is like, there are without, there are without question like girls I know that are further along than they probably would be if they were dudes. And I don't resent them for it. It's a nice perk that happens sometimes. And there's also dudes I know that are further along. long.

Yeah, but if you did the ratio, it would not be equal. It wouldn't be equal if you did the ratio, men to women. I think it depends on the field you're looking at. I also don't think there's, you know, if you look at the statistics when it comes to this kind of stuff, like, I don't think it's a very easy thing to measure because you're also discounting, like, the women, there are just flat out a large percentage of women that follow their maternal instincts and want to and want to pursue motherhood versus a career. I mean, that is, that's true.

Now, the thing that sucks is for the women that want to do both and get, and they get told that they can't do both. And I think that that's unfair. Right. But, like, there's just men don't even have the option of pursuing motherhood. So it's like, right there, the numbers are just going to be unspunced out. Well, I think it would be called fatherhood, Joe. It would be called fatherhood.

Well, yeah, but you know what I mean. Fatherhood. Stay at home dad. But listen, this is what I like, like, we're talking about like these huge topics, right? And it's interesting to me. And I know we could go on and on about that. But what I like to do on my show is get like really personal more so, right? And talk about you or me.

Like, what's going on with you? I know, you know, me and Joe actually spoke on the phone before he was calling in. And you were like going to ask me like how I was and started asking questions. And I was like, no, let's do this all in the podcast, you know, because I haven't talked to you for years, right? I mean, how long was it ago that we did that podcast, two years ago? I think it was longer. No, it was longer than that. It was probably three or four years ago.

No, definitely not, because it was the whole baby thing. I know. It's two years ago. And we haven't spoken. It can't be two years. I've been in, I've been in L.A. for a year. I was out of that apartment that I saw you in. It's like four years.

No, three. Okay, three years. I lived in Hell's Kitchen when we went out. And then I moved home with my mom to take care of her when she got sick for a few months. Then I lived in another apartment in Gramercy for a year. Then I lived in Brooklyn for six months. Now I've been in L.A. for a year. I mean, it is a while ago.

It was a while ago. Okay. Okay. But I was like, let's not talk. Like, let's get reacquainted on my show because that's what I like to do. I like to sort of dig deep and get to talk with people about personal stuff. I mean, we went on that date and it didn't really work. I mean, basically it was pretty set up for the show.

And, you know, I took videos. Remember I took those videos? I rewatched them recently. After I went and looked at that. You know, and I really was like, oh, you know, you change. Like, I've changed. That was three years ago. I've been through a lot in three years.

So I'm a different person. I watch those videos and I'm like, oh, I'm a little, I mean, I think I'm really funny on them. But it's like a caricature of somebody. You know what I mean? I'm like, what the fuck was I doing? I was definitely playing up to the camera, right? For sure. I think that's why those reality TV shows work.

I think those people just like, you become yourself, like and you just turn into like a cartoon character in front of like that's what I realized was happening with me I was just turning it up like 10 notches and I was a little horrified and I was like oh no wonder why he was getting defensive and calling me a bitch because I really was and I was trying to do that like I literally and I have to say when I watched the videos I would high five myself because I did it very well but I was like acting you know and I was acting badly you know on purpose for reaction so that's what you know I could have admit three years later. I don't think I could admit that. I think I went into that podcast and the

reason why I turned so bad is I went into the podcast with that same attitude. I mean, and I kind of had to, right? Because what else was I going to do? It probably would have been a lot more boring as a podcast if I was just copped to it. I'm been like, oh, I'm sorry. You know what? What we talk about? Well, I don't, I don't agree with that. Of course you're not going to agree with that. I don't agree with that approach. I don't think. With what approach? I think you should just be yourself. I don't agree with playing it up for things, you know. Like I said, but I didn't, but just so you know, I could only see that I was doing that years later. At the time, I didn't know.

Do you understand? That's like sometimes we have compulsions. And compulsions are things that you do and you're not even thinking about it. Do you know what I mean? Right. So it's not like, I can only see that now because I'm a different person and I grew up. But, you know, we all grow and do so many years. Like I said, like at that time, I had conviction for it.

I didn't even realize I was doing it. you know but then I look back and I'm like oh that's what I was doing I have that part of me that's who I was as a fucking teenager you know what I mean I like I know how to I could turn that on now too what I said I know that's why I got so mad I was saying that to you back then

like I was getting angry at you because you were kind of putting on this like act you were saying things that I knew you were saying things that I knew you didn't know were that I knew you didn't believe and it was bothering me you know But I knew that I was like, you know, if you're just trying to win an argument on semantics or like on one upmanship, I definitely was like I definitely was doing a good job.

Do you know what I mean? As far like, I have that side of me that I could just think everything's just fucking funny and it's a joke. And even now I could look at it and be like, yeah, it was horrendous and it wasn't really great. But it was kind of funny. That's the way I look at it. Do you have that side of you? No. See, you still seem.

you still like do you have that side of you that you could just be like oh yeah like you were con and you were and it's cool that you're bringing that up and you could see it but yeah you did have some good comebacks or it was kind of funny or no you don't see it funny at all no i didn't think it was funny even even now you don't jo this is what i don't understand no i didn't think it was no why would i think it was funny i mean i said you were being like really rude to me so i didn't think it was funny I mean, I'm over And I'm not mad about it. Like, that's the part of me. The part of me, I mean, if we're going to, I don't know, you're talking about growth or whatever.

Like, the part of me that grew in the last three years is like, I wouldn't be as mad now if that happened as I was back then. I mean, you can even just hear now, like in my voice. Like, I'm just a lot calmer now. Like, I don't. Didn't you leave? You were like Robert Kelly's co-host on that podcast, right? Is that like you walked out.

We taped again, right? We had a follow-up podcast that never aired. You walked out, like, isn't that what happens? Should I delete this? Are my allowed to say that? I don't care. Yeah, I don't give a shit either. It's out there.

No, no, I don't, I'm not like. But I mean, isn't that what? Didn't you walk off the show and never to, like, do the podcast of Robert Kelly anymore? Wait, did I walk off body? You mean, you mean body? Yeah. No. No, no, no, no.

I went back. I went back a few times after I left because my mom got cancer and I had to go home and I left New York for a while. And I also was just not able to kind of commit myself to a lot of really anything that was outside of the world of my family. Right. So that's when I left the podcast. But I've been, I was back many times. Oh, okay. I thought that was when you totally left because I know I had a podcast. I had a co-host who was awesome and he was perfect. And, you know, Robert Kelly is the person who told me to do this podcast and he helped me set it up and he gave me some great ideas and everything. And when I had to fire my co-host because he was so hard to nail down and stuff. And he was the best though.

He was like perfection. It was, but he was too busy. He couldn't commit, you know, and that was like a big problem. So we had to part ways and it was and it sucked. I was like, oh my God, my podcast is over. I don't know how to do it without him. It was like starting over again. And Robert Kelly's like, that's how he felt about you.

He felt like, you know, with you and him had like the greatest thing going. And he, you know, and when that sort of ended, it was really hard for him. He said the same thing. He felt the same way. And I just didn't know when you guys ended. I thought it was like a big thing that happened after that thing. I'm sorry. I'm getting confused.

Bobby said he was upset when I, when you say you were, you, you were like his Tommy. Like when I'm saying, when I was telling him the story about my guy leaving me and whatever, he was like, that's how I felt when Joe. Because me and Joe were great together. He's like, I love what I have now. But what me and Joe had was really great. Like I, and you know. What?

Yeah. So he was saying that he, because I said, I know I'm going to lose listeners. He's like, don't. He's like, Kathy, you know, I chose not to even look because I knew that it was going to have to reinvent myself. He's like, don't look at your numbers. Just keep doing your thing. And he really helped me through it.

But he said that he felt the same way because he felt with, you know, what you and him had was like perfect. And he couldn't imagine it being anything different, you know. And you left and then he had to like, you know, redo it. But he still believes, I think, that you were like the bat, like you and him really were like great. That's how I feel about my co-host Tommy. He was perfect. But it just didn't work out, you know?

Yeah, no, we had a, we had a really good dynamic. And we had, we definitely, Bobby and I had definitely had like, I guess, you know, like our sort of signature things or whatever you want to call it that that we did together, you know, like there were, there are definitely. like some very like unique uh connections between the two of us and um it's like chemistry you know it's chemistry yeah yeah i guess it's what i'm trying to say yeah chemistry i can my vocabulary stinks but uh it's okay i can't spell it was it was a good it was definitely a good chemistry and uh excuse me it was kind of a bummer when it all ended the way it had the way it had to end but i mean as you can imagine it was like a very turbulent time like my mom i remember when my mom i remember when mom went in and got tested for cancer.

What kind of cancer? It was breast cancer. Yeah, because my sister had breast cancer, so I know the whole deal. It's horrified. You know, she went in for like a routine mammogram and like there was no, there was nothing. There was no like lump or anything. So she was like, oh, they found a little something and it was like, and my mom. Califications?

Uh, wait, what did you say? Were they, was it, was it calcifications? No, it was like they just saw something in the in the mammogram results or what I don't know what it was you know, but there wasn't a lump. No, that's what calcifications are. There's something that shows up. That's what my sister had too. There's no lump. It's just like the beginning of it.

They're called calcifications and they see that. There's like a cluster of something and they could have cancer and then that's exactly what happened to my sister too. Yes. So it was long story short. It was one of those things where, you know, she told me they were. looking into it, I was like, there's no way she's going to have cancer. She called me bad cancer. And like from the day she called me till, I don't know, like 48 hours later, I went from, you know, being a permanent resident of New York in this apartment that I'd been living in forever, to I'm leaving this apartment. I'm ending my stay here. I'm moving back to Pennsylvania and I don't know when I'll be back.

So it was all rough. It was all very emotional. And, you know, it's a bummer that, like, sometimes in life, things like that happen and pull you out of situations that you're in. But, you know, from the bad comes the good. And, like, you know, that, that. You probably wouldn't be living in L.A. now. You wouldn't have your own podcast. Because you have a podcast, right? What is it called again?

What is your podcast? It's called Down with Joe de Rosa. Oh, down with Joe de Rosa. Right? You probably wouldn't have your own because you would have still been doing it with Robert. You have your own podcast. You wouldn't probably be living in L.A., right? You would have stayed in Hell's Kitchen, right?

Who knows? Yeah, like, who knows? I had no idea. I probably, probably a lot of those things. Like, like, I had a very good arrangement in Hell's Kitchen, and being forced to leave Hell's Kitchen forced me to, you know, relocate New York. It forced me to understand truly, like, what the rent spend the cost of living true. New York.

Totally fucked up, right? It's so bad. Yeah. It was a tough learning experience. It forced me to stop doing the podcast. It forced me to move to a different part of town. But, you know, like I said, from the bed comes a good. So I got to go on this whole different course.

Bobby, of course, obviously went on to do great things with his show. And they're doing extremely well, it seems like. You're proud to have Robert now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, like, I'm glad that, I'm glad that, like, everything's going well. I thought everything's going well. And like we, and I learned a lot, like, doing that show with them.

Like, I don't think I'd be able to do, you know, two things. I learned, A, how to sit and talk for a while and be on a podcast, but I also learned a lot about, like, what I didn't want to do, meaning, like, you know, sometimes I would say things that I was like, I don't want to talk about that stuff about myself or whatever. You know, with all stuff I revealed on my own free will. But, you know, you just kind of live and learn and develop. up.

You didn't like revealing some about yourself on your podcast? I didn't, I don't mind being personal. I'm very open on my current podcast. I talk all the time about how I'm on Prozac and therapy and whatever. I don't mind sharing that kind of stuff. What I didn't like was the way I acted sometimes. You know, quite frankly, I didn't like the way I acted with you. Right.

You know, I thought it was good. It made for good radio and everything. Right. But it wasn't off that. that wasn't like who you are. Well, the problem was it was authentic. Like, I wish I could look back on that right now and say, oh, I was hamming it up for the thing like you said, you were.

Like, I was truly that angry. When we were yelling at each other, I was like furious. And it's like, you don't like that to be out there. It's the reason that I always said, like, from the day I ever first saw a reality show, I said like I'll never do one of those like because because I was like I don't ever want a camera on me to show like all my flaws like that because it just seems horrible no me my friend did a podcast the other day and we were talking about it and I said there was some famous person that made this quote or said that there's you know everybody has a

part of themselves or like that is like really horrendous you know and I don't you know it comes out in all different places in everyone's life different places for different people, you know, but everyone has that moment where they're like, oh my God, if somebody saw me doing this or acting like this, they'd be like, who the fuck are you? You know, but we all do it and we all have those sides. And I think, you know, it's fine that you got that mad. I just got that mad at somebody like five days ago. Like, you know, shit like that happened.

That's just being a real person. Even what I did, which was like pathetic. Because I had so much going on in my life at that time. So like, why would I give a shit about that, right? I was dealing with heavy shit. So it was like, so it was really easy for me to not really get emotional about that because I was so checked out and involved in other things, right? So it's just like you have to take into account other things that are going on. I don't like, I mean, I do this podcast where I get people from Craigslist that call in and they tell me their secret like dirty lives or things that they're doing.

And like why I love doing it is because I feel like if you just take things out of context and you just look at like the surface of something, it just might seem fucked up or dysfunctional. But when you really get in and you talk to somebody and you look at something and you look at something. and you look at the story around it, you could just, like, understand it more. And people are just human beings, and people, human beings are flawed, and they do fucked up things. Right.

And it's, like, okay. Like, I think that's, I like people more like that. You know what I mean? And people that are trying to, like, hide that stuff. I understand that more. I like,

I'm more comfortable with flawed people because I think that that's more real. So, I mean, I don't think you were that hard on this. And we, Paul, like, we sort of, like, made up. Like, we had a very nice talk. I thought that was really cool. of you. I mean, I thought you were like overly. I tend to be, I mean, I could be harsh and I have a very thick skin because of like the way that I was raised and the problems with my father and stuff.

And I could be, you know, and I'm an alpha female. So I could offend easily, but I could, like, I could give it, but I could take it. I have a very thick skin and I have a very good sense of humor. So I tend to clash, you know, with people that are more sensitive. And, you know, no one's right or wrong, right? We're just built differently. And I felt like, oh, me and you were like a little bit like oil and water. Like, you're just more sensitive and you're like, get defensive more than I do. So, I mean, you could, you should hear the shit that Robert Kelly says to me. Like, you most people would like fucking cry. I think it's hilarious. Like, I don't take a lot of things that's serious. And that just because I was tortured growing up. So I learned, you know, I built that thick skin. But,

um, so I think that that was a lot of it too, because we're just like, you know, very opposite personality types. And I offend people like you a lot. Like, it's like, that's a very difficult personality type for me to get along with. But what I thought was. But what I thought was so cool about you, this was going to say, because everyone's like a concoction to me and you could be like hypersensitive, but what was great is you were also, like you called me and we had an open conversation

about it later, not even that much later, like a couple days later and like you copped to stuff and I copped to things and we got past it and that was like really cool. And to me that trumps everything else, you know what I mean? Who gives a shit if you're hyper sensitive and I'm a bitch? Like if you could be self-aware enough to

realize that and be, communicate that, you know, shortly after that's what really matters. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's, uh, I didn't, you know, I didn't like, you know, I, I thought talking about it, uh, what happened with you with me was, was interesting and, and, uh, and it was, it was worth discussing after the fact or whatever, but I didn't like, see, like, you know, after I talked about the, the whole thing on the radio on Opie and Anthony and we played clips from the podcast and everything.

I didn't like then seeing people tweet free, you know, that you needed to get, you know, hit in the face. I know my head chopped off, floating another, but Joe, I know when you called,

that's what you call. You see, I loved that. I mean, it was like the most, like, action I ever got. You know, I'm not a comedian and I'm not like in your world, so I don't get any kind of attention. I wanted to, you know,

the infamous Twitter followers that I was looking for that you tried. trash me before. So I loved it. It was fine for me. I, like I said, I have a very thick skin. I don't, that stuff doesn't bother me at all. At all. When I was younger, I had people in

other towns that hated me that I didn't know. I've been hated since day one. So it doesn't, like that doesn't, it doesn't bother me, you know? So, but you, I think that's what you were apologizing for, right? I remember like, because you felt bad about that. And that's what got us talking. I didn't, yeah, I didn't like seeing

look, regardless of the differences I may or may not have with any one person. You know, I've been on the giving, I've been on the giving end, the receiving end of that sort of treatment, giving meaning not that I'm doing it, but like, where people are on my side and doing it for me online. And then I've been there where people are doing it against me. And either, in either case, like in the case with you, people were saying things to try to be supportive of me. And I, but I still thought the things they were saying were pretty horrible. Oh my God, they were totally all on your side. They all.

hated me. I think I had like three people on my side. Yeah, and it didn't. So my point is, is like, even when somebody's trying to be supportive, and even when somebody like you is saying, I have a thick skin, I can take it, it doesn't change my ethical stance on it, which is I don't like what these people are saying to this, to this person. Like, whether I have a problem with her or not, like, people shouldn't be telling her to get kicked in the cunt or whatever the fuck they were saying. Oh, I see them all. I mean, I favored them also. They're all. I favoriteed them also. all in like my Twitter feed. It was,

it was like funny. I mean, I just thought, wow, Opie and Anthony is pretty like, like, I don't know, they have a weird,

like a scary, like their audience is kind of scary. You know, because the shit that the people was very dark, a little scary, like scary people. It wasn't like just tongue and cheek stuff.

It was like hardcore. It's a, it's a bit much, yeah. I agree. Yeah. I agree. I still thought it was cool that you called.

And we hashed everything out. We're like, got past it. Because, You know, what I went into it thinking, and before I turned it up a notch and played for the camera and like, you know, and just decided to like take the role of the bitch. I thought we were like, this was just like a joke for the podcast. Do you know what I mean? Like, and I don't know why I thought that you have to pay for that.

But, but I think also, you know, I think, and then I think with Robert calling, I don't know, like where it went wrong. But I think that I didn't take it seriously. And then I was like confused. is like, does Joe really think this is a real date? I don't know. Did you think it was a real date? Tell the truth. Yeah.

Really? No, I did. I mean, yeah, I did. I didn't think, like, I mean, I knew it was, I knew it was, like, sort of set up to the podcast. But, yeah, I thought, like, it was a date. Like, I thought, like, I thought, like, we had a mutual interest in one another. Like, I wouldn't have done it otherwise. Like, I, like, I definitely was attracted to you, like, physically.

and like, you know, your personality or whatever. So like... You like this hardcore personality? Yeah, I liked you. You seemed like fun. I thought you were hot. And they were, and, you know, Bobb was like, go out because sparks will fly. And, like, I didn't necessarily think that meant, like, in a bad way.

I really kind of, to be honest. He meant it in a bad way. Is that what he said? Sparks will fly. I think he meant that in a bad. He didn't tell me that. Oh, he said in the podcast. No, no, no.

He said it. I think he said it on the podcast. He was like basically saying like your two personalities. It'll be it'll be interesting or whatever. And like so I certainly thought like there was a chance we were going to we were going to knock heads on a few things. But like in all honesty, I thought we were going to go out have like a pretty like fiery drunken evening. You didn't know I didn't drink? I don't think I knew that.

And you didn't know I was having a baby. you weren't having a baby yes I was you weren't pregnant when I No but I was trying What I mean is I was trying to have a baby That I was involved in this crazy situation Is what I'm saying

Like you didn't know any of that I had a time No you told me that Oh okay You were thinking about having a baby With a guy you were friends with But it didn't It's yeah

Yeah I mean Yes I you mentioned You mentioned that but it didn't like the way you were talking about it didn't seem like you weren't. I don't know. Look, I thought we were going to have sex. I don't know how to phrase it.

I know. That's perfect. That's the way to phrase it. Be direct. I'm only stuttering because I was trying to, I was trying to think of a polite way to say it. Why? I thought we were going to go out like.

You were going to get me drunk and I was going to fuck you. No, my plan wasn't to get you drunk. Like, I just thought we were going to go out and have like a kind of a wild night that would have been comprised of potentially arguing at times and potentially laughing at times, but just sort of connecting. And then having like, yeah, hardcore sex.

You know what? I was just talking to my sister about this the other day because I like, I think the problem with me and this is just about me and nothing to do with you. And just, but you, it makes me think like, oh, like, there's something about me. And I think it's like the way that I look and carry myself and maybe because I really was this type person when I was younger. It's like I feel like I present myself one way and so and people just assume I'm a certain way and but I'm totally not that way. You know, like I don't drink.

I like, but I think I give off like a party girl, fun, loose, easy, crazy kind of vibe. Yet I don't drink. I'm not like that at all. And I'm like, you know, maybe that's not really good because I sort of like where's the disconnect in me that I put up that vibe and so many like the type of guy that's always attracted to me. Like I was at the gym recently and this big huge mussely. total player dude who's been trying to come after me for so long, like, you know, totally finally, like, makes his move. And his first thing is like, oh, like, how could you do legs on a, like, aren't you hung over from the weekend? And I'm like, oh, no, I don't drink. And he's

like, you don't drink? And then I'm like, no. And then, like, and I eat really healthy. And I'm, and I'm just like this fucking nerd kind of. But I'm like, I kind of don't look like it. And I'm like, there's something wrong with me because the way I look and the vibe I give off attracts like a certain kind of guy yet. That guy expects me to be a lot more fun than I really am. Like I don't fuck guys on the first date. I wouldn't even make out with you. I don't even make out with guys and you're like, what are you crazy? I really don't. I'm kind of like, I wouldn't say I'm type, but without alcohol, things like that. I'll do it maybe on the second for sure, you know, but I think I'll do it on the second date. I'll make out with the guy. I probably

won't have sex with him on the second date, you know, but because I don't drink and it's looks like it's a problem for me because I think I give off a vibe because of the way that I look. Maybe you thought I was a lot more fond than I really am. Well, yeah, I guess, you know, look, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that, you know, that my assumptions were what should have in any way happened that night. I was probably dumb for assuming that anything would go in any certain way. But isn't that what all men do? Are you dating anyone now? What's your deal?

No. How are L.A. women compared to New York women? And compare, I'm saying. How are L.A. women compared to New York women? They're different. Better, worse? They're just different. They're not worse. They're not better. They're just different. It's a different. It's a very, very different game. I don't know. I can't explain it.

It's hard to, it's hard to break it down without sounding like I'm saying, one is better than the other. Because, you know, look, they have their pros, they have their cons. Right. On both sides, I'd say probably just out of preference in what I'm used to, I'd probably prefer the New York girls. But I think that's mostly because the New York girls are in the New York scene. Right.

L.A., the scene is really different, you know? Like, I live in an apartment in Brooklyn in New York. I'm fucking, you know, now I live in like a house In East Los Angeles It's like, yeah, it's like I'm not meeting girls Every 10 minutes out here, you know? Okay, but let me ask you this. Normal girls that drink and are out about like

When do you expect a girl to sleep with you? How many dates in? I don't expect it. No, no, no. Okay, forget about the word, Joe. Like when, when, like, how, like, do girls sleep with you normally on the first, second, third? Like, what's that?

What is, what goes on in that? world. I really don't know. Like, what do you mean? Like, I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. What goes on in the drinking world? You go out and you date. You thought you were going to.

I don't really drink. You said you were taking me out on that date because you thought you were going to get me kind of drunk and we were going to fuck. Okay. Like, that's what you said. No, no. I didn't say I wanted to get you kind of. Okay.

But you thought we were going to get. Okay. You thought we were going to. Meaning, I thought you and I, you and I, you seemed like the personality. type that was going to be like, don't be a pussy, pull a stool up to the bar and let's do some shots. Like you just seemed like a rough and tumble girl. Totally.

Yeah, that's the problem. That's the way the night is going to go. Had I thought you weren't a drinker, I wouldn't have thought that's the way the night was going to go. But you have a real whiskey personality. So I just kind of thought that. I'm a drinker. This is the problem.

I'm a drinker that doesn't drink. I'm a smoker that doesn't smoke. You know what I mean? So I have the personality type for those things yet. I don't do those things. that's where I give the false advertising out. That's why I'm like still single probably. Because the guys that are super attracted to me,

you want fun or, you know, they really not. Like when they get to know me, they're like, oh, they want to be out of bars still drinking. And I'm like not interested in that in the slightest. You know. Well, I mean, I mean, well, but get back to your question about, what was your question about? My question is when, no, like in your world,

like you go on dates. You're single, right? You go on dates, right? do girls normally sleep with you on the first date? No. No. I mean, it's happened, but no. It's not like a thing I expect.

Right. No, I'm just wondering, like, do girls, you know, like some of my guy friends will be like, oh, God, do you have to screw the guy. Like, you wait five tall. Like, you know, people think like a guy, I think guys have told me that, you know, it's three times third date for sure. You need to sleep with that. I'm like, really?

Like, I sleep with someone when I feel comfortable enough and that could be on the third date, the fifth date. I mean, I dated my friend. that guy that I was having the baby with, like, you know, I waited a while before I had sex with him, and he was my friend for like 13 years. I mean,

you'd think I would took the fuck on the first night. But I was like, no, I need to feel comfortable. Yeah. Huh? Yeah, no, I know. I'm saying I've dated girls like that.

I mean, there's no, that's what I'm saying. I don't quite understand what you're asking me. Like, it sounds like you're asking me, it sounds like you have an assumption that, like, I always sort of move at the same pace with every girl. No, no, no, no. I'm asking you more in general, like, what's out in that world. Like, to me, you're more in the dating world. That's the younger world of, like, going out and

drinking and stuff. I'm older. I'm 45. So if I'm going out, I'm going out with a 50-year-old, and we're going to have dinner, you know, I don't know. I'm thinking because you're 37. Oh, I'm thinking because you're 37, maybe you're going out with 25-year-olds and you're going into a bar and then, like, you know, I'm just wondering what goes on in that world. It's more of a general. I don't really go, I don't really, I don't really go out with that much anymore. Like that kind of, that phase is kind of done. That's what I was saying about, like, living in L.A. It's a very different scene for me now.

Are you looking for a girlfriend? Would you want a girlfriend? I don't know if I'm looking. I would enjoy it. I'm not against it. Are you emotionally unavailable, like so many other men? No, no. I'm probably more emotionally available now than I've ever been. But, I mean, you know, I'm certainly open to the idea of having a girlfriend.

Absolutely. I'm not looking for it because I feel like you can't really look for that kind of thing. It's like it'll happen when it happens. And I'm open to it. Right. I'm also open to if it doesn't happen and I'm just keeping a single guy and meeting different people. Like that's fine too. Like whatever's supposed to happen right now will happen.

Do you have booty calls? Like do you have some like a constant source of action just so while you're waiting like you get laid? Because I think that's important when you're a single person. No? No, not really. No. No. Like, I don't know.

I would like to have that on the side. Only because, like, you know, if you go a long period of not having someone, you don't want to, like, not get laid. It's healthy. Like, you need to. You know, I think it's healthy. But you don't want to go. I mean, as a woman, I don't want to go sleeping around with different people all the time. So I like to have, like, little people.

Yeah. I mean, look, if you said to me, if you said to me, Joe, you know, we know each other. And let's, you know, no strings attached, have an arrangement where if I call you and you're free and you're into it, you know, or vice versa, we can get together and make something happen. Like, I'm open to that. I wouldn't be like, no, that's not. But I'm just saying, like, as a standard, you know, I don't, I don't like try to keep booty crawl girls. No, it's the worst. No, no, it's the worst.

But it only works. I don't do that with anybody. It's only worked with it only works with. It only works with people that I used to date. Like, you have to have gone through an emotional, someone liking somebody and getting past that and being done and like hashing that out. And then to never go back again that you could just do that. But so you're very close.

For me, it's only worked with them. Very close friends with them. I like them. I stopped liking them. Once I stopped liking somebody, I'll never like them ever again in my life. Like, I'm just not interested in the past. So once I loop out, I call it like I loop in to a guy and I could become so hyper fixated and that's who I want and I really like them. But if it doesn't work out, when I loop out, I can never go back, you know.

But those people stay my friends and I love them and if the sex was really good and there's like some sort of chemistry, that's the person I would sleep with as opposed to going out and sleeping with somebody random or somebody that, you know, because things get complicated. I can't just sleep with a guy and not like him. You know, like, you know, I can't do that sort of a thing, not somebody that I think I can't. could like or somebody that, you know, there's a, there's a potential there. No way. I wouldn't put myself in that position either. It's not, well, I mean, I don't know. For me, it's not like, it's not like the position or the idea that bothers me. I just find that it's very, it's very infrequent that both parties understand, understand the situation or, or respected in the same way.

It's just very hard, you know. Yeah, you need the girl. all that liked you already and then that's over. You can't go for the girl that says she doesn't like you but you know she never did because she'll wind up like you. There's some sort of weirdo hormone that

is released in a woman when she has an orgasm from a man. And I swear it's true. You do bond with the guy. Like for sure it really works. When I was trying to get over that guy and we like I stopped letting him like and I said to him like I have to stop being with you because I'm turning into a full-fledged weirdo because I was like

you know what I'll full around with you but I'm not going to let you make me come like I won't come like I stopped like and I felt like there was less of a because when he would always pull away afterwards you know when he would do disappearing acts and it was like a very push pull fucked up situation and it was a mind fuck for me and I found that when I stopped letting him give me orgasms it was less of a downer when he disappeared and I was like you know this is like my only power over this situation of this way and then I was like I have to stop this because this is fucking weird do you know what I I don't want to turn sex into a weirdo experience. So I can't do business with you anymore.

But because that really does happen. There's a bonding thing and you get like, you know, and it's very powerful. And it's great if you're like with the person. But if there's a problem, it just keeps a girl very attached to a guy. So you can't let that guy let you have, you know, for sure. Yeah, no, it's tough. It's tough. It's a delicate situation.

It's tricky. I just watched I just watched Fatal Attraction the other night Oh my God, I loved that movie That was a great movie I don't remember it though Yeah I loved it too

I had never really seen it all the way through I'd seen clips of it You know over the years or whatever But I'd never sat down and watched the whole thing And I watched it It's funny, I saw my parents the next day And I was telling them But they didn't sleep well and they were like

Well why and I said well I watched fatal attraction before I went to bed and it really wound me up like I couldn't sleep and they were like why and I was like because I go obviously I've never dated a woman that crazy I was like but like they portrayed like somebody going crazy so well there were so many glimpses of the crazy women

I have dated in her character that it was like frightening it really freaked me out because I was like my god like this can go really far and like I don't know like I feel like I feel like there's always that massive potential for a booty call situation to go in that direction. Like there's there's that moment in the in the movie where you know like she's totally when they first to discuss having the affair she's like with two adults I can be discreet. And she just kind of lays it all out like hey man no strings attached and then when she starts in on him like you just think you can come over here and fuck me and then leave and and I was just like holy shit.

And the part where she's like, I'm pregnant. I was just like, it was giving me like anxiety. Why? Because you were so afraid that that could happen to you? I just, I've dated. Crazy, you know? Like, I dated one girl in particular who was really, really, really crazy. Like, and I mean to the point where, you know, she did things to like, she did manipulative things to fuck my life up after it makes me stop seeing it.

other. Right. She was mad that I didn't want her anymore. You know, and like, it's frightening. It's really, it's really frightening. And that movie just depicted the way somebody like that acts very, very well. Right. I'm not saying he's, I'm not saying the man is without fault in that movie. I'm just saying like, I've been in the situation where you're saying to somebody like, you have to stop and they're just like, you can't make me. You can't make me stop. You know, because they're not doing anything technically illegal or whatever. It's just fucking creepy, man. It's creepy.

So, like, I feel like there's a chance to get into, like, a crazy, weird situation with, like, a booty call. So I'm just very careful about it, you know, like. Yeah, you have to do it. Have you had, like, how many long-term girlfriends have you had in your life? Like, one, two, five. What's the longest relationship you ever have? Maybe five. About nine months.

Nine months? Like the crazy girl. Oh, okay. So the five were your only... your only relationships. We were the five were the long, like long term relationships. Well,

long term, I mean, meaning months. I never even made it to a year. Oh, I've had like 80 months, like, you know,

a couple months long things. You've only had five in your whole life? And what's besides those five? Besides those five, what is the rest? Just like dates, like maybe three dates or something. It doesn't work out?

Yeah, I see a girlfriend a month, a few weeks, two months, whatever it is. What is that amount of time? I was asking guys recently, and most guys said three months, and I'm curious

of what you say. Like, how long does a girl sort of hang around with the guy? You know, you meet a guy, right? You have to expect that he's probably seeing other women, right, when you meet him, and, you know, whatever, and you start liking him, and you're like, how long do I have to sort of hang around this guy for him to know whether he likes

me, you know? And most of my guy friends are like, oh, you got to hang around for like three or four months. How long do you think like a girl needs to hang around to or how long does a guy need to take before he's going to know whether he likes you or not? And if he doesn't, you're just like, okay, I'm done, you know, so you don't waste your time. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Three months is a sort of magic number, I think.

I mean, for me at least three months is the time where you decide, like, this is somebody I could deal with for a little while or it's not. And I think that's probably the time limit for most people. and, you know, look, I think that there have been many times when I've been too discriminatory with a relationship, and I probably could have let it breathe a bit more and been a little more open-minded. But I also think that the majority of the time, I was just recognizing that something was not going to move forward and that I didn't want to waste any time in trying to make it move forward. And I don't think enough people do that. No, I think men are low.

I think men know more. I think women, unfortunately with women, it's in our nature too. Even if there's one percent hope, it's very hard to walk away from one percent hope. That's why when men and women, like when women are done with men and they break up with them,

men always by the time they want them back, the women's like fucking finished. And I'm always like, yeah, because she was done. Like the minute a woman starts complaining about what she's like not happy with is the time to make the changes.

Once she says I'm out of here, she's out of there because she's not out of there until there's no hope. You know, with 1% hope that bitch stays. We stay and we try everything we can to make something work. But when we walk, we walk. But I think guys cut their losses in a different way. I think if a guy meets a girl and he's just not feeling it, you know, he moves on.

It's just, and it's easier. I think women tend to hang around and I'm guilty of it and most women are. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I would say it's probably more women that hang around than guys. But, I mean, I certainly know lots of guys in, that have been in or are currently in relationships where they're getting a certain amount of abuse and they should be, you know, demanding more for themselves and they're not.

And they're miserable, you know? Like, and they don't even realize they're miserable. But is it abuse? Is it abuse, like real abuse or is it just like, you know, bullshit that probably most people have to deal with in relationships? Because, you know, you're going to have to deal with you. I don't mean abuse like. Yeah.

I don't mean abuse like the woman is like beating them or like calling them like No but what do you consider right? I just mean like abuse in the sense of like you're not being treated right like your your woman doesn't respect you right like she doesn't give you the freedoms that you should have as a human being like this isn't how a relationship is supposed to function you should there isn't a mutual respect here that's that's what I mean and that And a lot of people have that kind of relationship. And I think it probably doesn't start out that way, right?

Nobody winds up with that person. Nobody stays with that girl in the beginning. But unfortunately, something goes really awry in long-term relationships. And I think it's sad because there's no way that those people were that way with each other when they first hooked up. You know what I mean? They just, he wouldn't have been with that woman. That woman wouldn't have been the one he chose, you know? I think that that comes out way later, once.

you're sort of hogged and everyone lets their freak flag fly because most people show up and they're different people you know and then you're in it and so you're putting up with that and then nobody sort of talks about or communicates that shit and works on it because I think if you work on that stuff that you could make it better you said you went you go to therapy I go to heart core therapy I love it and I believe in like communicating and working through things and I think people could change and I'm like really big on that you know and I think everybody that's in a relationship with somebody could, you know, they could all use some therapy to make it better. And it would really work if both people were open to it.

You know what I mean? Instead of having these horrific fucking relationships where it's just like they make people that don't have relationships like not want to have relationships. You know what I mean? It's like, oh my God, you make it look so terrible, you know? It's like just toxic and nasty and you're like, that's the sad thing is it didn't start out that way. You know what I mean?

It started out with two people that really liked each other. But somewhere along the line, it becomes about ownership and you get comfortable. And, you know, people just lose themselves when they forget about it. And I think there's a guy named Harville Hendricks, and he believes that once romantic love blows over, and that, you know, goes away, like, after two years, that's when the real hard work comes. And it turns, like, really bad. And most people think that that's when you're supposed to leave. But what he believes is that's when the stuff that comes out that could really heal you

and heal the stuff that happened to you in your childhood, and that person's pushing your buttons. And you're supposed to work through that. It's like an amazing thing, but nobody wants to deal with that time or they just deal with that time by just repeating the same shit. You know what I mean? And nothing goes anywhere. And everyone's just like you say miserable. But I think you could take from that and learn from it and get through that and, you know, whatever. I mean, I don't think that just because relationships don't last forever that they're a failure.

I mean, you know, most people, you're not going to be with them for the rest of your life. But if you're with someone five or 10 years and, you know, you work through things and stuff, like that's a successful relationship. and I think there's a lot of healing and good that could come out of it. And that's what relationships are for. You know, they're to help you grow and learn, you know. But I think people don't think that. People think a relationship is,

I feel fucking empty inside and I'm not that happy. And I'm going to meet you. And because you make me so happy when I first meet you that, like, you have to make me happy for the rest of my life, right? And then the minute, like, that shit wears off and you're like, you're just you and you're not happy anymore. And you're like, oh, it's all your fucking fault, you know? And it's like, no, it's not the other person's fault.

Like, that's not what a relationship is. not to make you happy or fulfill you. You know, you're still, you're just your own person. You're two separate people. But I think it does help you grow and learn. And because it's difficult. It's not like easy or perfect, you know? Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, no, I, I hear you. I'm with you. Yeah, totally. It's hard to find. That's an interesting way to look at it. Yeah, I played, I played this little clip of Harville Hendrix. He's so fucking brilliant and amazing what he believes. And I think it's like the key to all things.

And then there was something I found Dan Savage. You know, he does that Savage Love podcast, which I love. He's like one of the most brilliant, you know, because I do my podcast as like self-help, like, call in people with problems. I love talking to people with their problems. And he does it, but he does it in like the most amazing well. He's so, way. He's so well-spoken and he's so smart and he's so open-minded and he knows so much about love and sex and relationships. And he did this whole clip.

I'm going to send it to you. And he calls it like the price of admission, you know, and he talks about his 14-year relationship. and he talks about how, like, you know, there's just a price of admission. Like, if you want to, like, be in a relationship and stuff, there's certain things you're going to have to put up with, and they call it in his house, like, the price of admission. This person does this, and this is what I have to deal with if I want to stay with this person, you know.

And he's got, like, this really great way of talking about love and how there's not that one, and nobody's fucking perfect. And this is just what you deal with or you're going to be alone. And he just says it in, like, a really cool way. I'll post it on my Facebook page. I'll send it to you because it's really good. All right. And that sounds good.

Yeah, so anyway Yeah, I can just keep talking about this shit for an hour But at my podcast, I only like him to be about an hour And we're at an hour now So I'm glad that you called in I'm glad that we didn't get in a fight I didn't know if we would I thought maybe in the beginning we were going to get in a fight

About what? I don't know, sometimes you're a little defensive To my ways And I don't know, it irritates me And then I want to lash out on you I feel like we could fight easily but I think that we did good. We didn't fight.

Yeah, I didn't think we're going to fight. Okay. And, yeah, I mean, you know, we talked to, I don't know, I just didn't think we're going to fight. So I'm glad you're doing well. Doing good. I'm doing good. And you're doing good. Yeah.

Yeah, everything's fine. And, you know, it was nice talking to you. Yeah. If you ever, what do you do on your podcast? if you ever want me on your podcast to talk about other things, I'll come on. I don't know. I could talk about,

I could talk about, oh, you don't have the call-in thing, right? No, I don't do call-ins. I just, I mean,

I might soon. It's really easy, Joe, to hook up. I mean, it's just a cord. I know. I know.

Well, hopefully my format is going to be slightly changing soon. It looks like some changes for the better might be happening. So. So, you know, once all that takes place, I might be able to do call-ins. But until any of that happens, I'm going to just kind of do it the way I've been doing it,

which is me sitting in a room talking to a wall. By yourself? The one I listened to, you were talking to somebody else. Sometimes I have guests. I don't have them frequently because it's a pain in the fucking ass to get people to come on. You could talk by yourself for like an hour. How long are your podcasts? I do it all the time.

Yeah, they're about an hour. Wow. I found it's when my co-host left and I had to do my intros by myself. I mean, I could do probably about a minute to two minutes tops. And I'm like, wow, I'm so good at talking to the air now, you know, but at first it was very, I'm like more of a talker like in a conversation, you know. And I talk to strangers. I have strangers. I put ads on Craigslist.

People respond and then they call in and like I just grill them with questions and find out all this interesting stuff about that. Sure. Which I love. It's a different kind of show. I mean, my show isn't, you're doing like an advice show. Totally. My show is about a specific topic every episode. So like, you know, if I'm alone, I talk about something that's like on my mind that week.

And I make notes and then I send it up Twitter and say, send in thoughts and questions. Oh, that's cool. That's smart. And you have a lot of followers. So people write in stuff and then you reply to those or talk about those. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it's pretty basic.

It's fun. So people could listen to it on Twitter and Stitcher. You can get it on... I'm not Twitter, iTunes. Yeah, you can get it on iTunes. You can get it on my website, which is joadarosacom. You can get it on Stitcher. And it's called Down with Joe de Rosa.

So if you, you know, I hope somebody wants to listen to it that heard this. Yeah, awesome. I have a lot of people that, no, but I have a lot of people that listen to me because I went on Robert Kelly's podcast to promote mine podcast, you know. And I have a good amount of listeners now. But a lot of them are people that listen to Robert, so they would know you.

And if they don't know that you have your own podcast now, they will now, no, and they'll definitely go listen. Thanks for being on, Joe DeRosa. If I'm ever in L.A., I'll look you up. Yeah, you should. If I'm in New York, I'll look you up. All right, cool. Yeah, we can have like a friendly hangout.

Yeah, and I'll pay half the bill. I'll pick up the whole tab, actually. I'll pick up the whole tab. How about that, Joe? You don't have to. You come to New York. No, no, no, I want to. You come to New York.

I'm an old abroad now. It's like it's been three years. And we will go out and you can have as much green tea as you want. We'll have sushi. Okay. And I will pay. How about that? All right.

If you insist. I insist. Okay, Joe, I'll see you when you're in New York. All right, sweetie. Thank you so much. Bye. Thanks for calling in. Bye.

Thank you. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really.

short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. point, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun

place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story? lifestyle or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.