Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 049 - Alex Smith Cheated on his Girlfriend and then Told Her

Episode Date: November 23, 2014

Alex Smith cheated on his girlfriend and then told her and of course they broke up. He thinks he might want to date again buy he’s still not sure if he can be completely faithful in the future and he calls in looking for some dating advice. Was it the right decision to tell his girlfriend he cheated? Can he be honest in his next relationship and have a healthy relationship? Can a woman handle a guy who might not be able to be monogamous forever? Listen in as Kathi and Alex ponder these questions and more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your Greek black fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to this trip on this podcast, and this is Kathy.

And now I'm doing all my intros after I do the call so I could just explain everything that goes down on the call because most of the time I used to do it before and I wouldn't know anything and, you know, so much interesting stuff would happen. I wouldn't even like give you the heads up. Someone suggested that to me and I think it's actually smart. So I know everything about this caller that's calling in this week. His name is Alex Smith. So Alex calls in, Alex Smith calls in, looking for general dating advice, he said.

I had no idea what he was going to call in about and what the advice was going to be about. But Reda turns out is that he dated a woman who he didn't have really good sex with and he cheated on her and he told her. And of course, she broke up with him and he hasn't had a relationship since. And I think he wonders a lot about, you know, the whole monogamy thing and cheating and, you know, if it's possible to have an open relationship. And that's what we discuss and how that plays out. He's had some booty calls that he discusses. He's been on Craigslist looking for meaningless sex. We talk about that.

And that's all the stuff that we get into. So it's a good conversation. It's something that I've talked about a lot on the podcast, that whole monogamy versus non-monogamy thing. And that's the conversation that goes on or takes place with Alex on this call. If you want to follow me on Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous or follow me my personal Twitter account at Cartoon Therapy. If you could check out my book on my website,

Kathy K-K-A-T-H-I-K-K-A-Y dot com backslash book you can check out my whole website there's really not much on there there's these fake horoscopes that I wrote which I think are really fucking funny so read them if you feel like it because they're actually good and they're truthful and they're the real deal um not that I live my life by astrology but I think you could kind of put people into categories based on when they were born I know it sounds retarded because most people that are listening to me are men and men don't fucking believe in that stuff but you know what if you date girls and you're a straight guy you should know about astrology because Most girls, 99% of them are really fucking into it.

And if you know some stuff, you might really impress a girl. So read my Harscopes. Don't read them if you're a Capricorn, though, because I say really bad things about Capricorns. Because I don't really like them. Or they don't really like me. Just read it. Anyway, those are on my website too under my blog.

I never fucking blogged because I hate blogs. They're so irritating, blah, blah, blah. Like the people in their long-winded stories. Or maybe it's not that I find them not interested. I'm just intimidated because I can't write like that. I don't know. It's just too long-winded for me. I like reading other people's blogs, but I don't like writing them myself.

So when I had to have this stupid section on my website for a blog, I put some really stupid shit, and then I stopped it, and I did like three postings. So that's that. Obviously, I lack follow-through on my website. But you could read a chapter of my book there, and you could read your horoscopes or your girls' horoscopes. I do men and women, and they're really funny, but they're true. Okay, I swear to you.

If you want to write a review, I feel like people are. actually listened to me because I just got a review. And it was really good. And it's from somebody that says, I have no nickname or something like that is the person's name. And they wrote something really nice. I don't have it in front of me, but hold on. He wrote,

really great. Love this podcast. It's funny and very addictive to listen to. Kathy is a great host. She accepts everyone who calls them for who they are and respects them. She's genuinely, genuinely interested, and so are we.

I love that review, because it's true. I am genuinely, genuinely interested. And I do accept everyone that calls them. I remember I had this one friend who's super judgmental. He's probably the most judgmental friend that I have. And he said to me once, like, I really envy you, Kathy, because you'll date anyone. Like, you'll date a guy who used to do heroin. He's like, I wouldn't even like talk to somebody like that. And that is the truth. I actually, I mean, the funny thing is, is I actually prefer people who have sort of taken their lives to the edge and sort of come back or people that are flawed or people because I think that they're more real. I actually think that people like that are stronger and more interesting. I think the more you allow yourself to go through, the more you learn. And the more interesting a person you are or more

complex or more real. Because I think everyone's kind of fucked. I mean, my friend who's judgmental is probably the biggest weird who I know. But he tries to act like he's so normal, you know, and he wouldn't talk to someone that did heroin, though. He has his own fucking issues that a lot of people wouldn't talk to him about if they really knew, but he keeps it so underwrapped. So that's why I am actually interested in people that are calling, because they're being real and they're being completely honest. And I think the anonymity, how do you say that, helps. But that's why I do it, because I like for people to be just straight up. I think if everybody was more straight up, people would be less judgmental, people will be more accepting. And people would be happier because being judgmental

to people is retarded. So anyway, that's the deal. The guy calling in today, like I said, is kind of rated. It's not some sort of dirty thing, but it's really interesting. His name is Alex Smith, and I'll be right back with him. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous.

Hello, is this Alex? Yes, it is. Hello, who am I speaking with? Hey Alex, this is Kathy. My name's Kathy. I'm the host of this podcast. I used to have a co-host named Tommy. I don't know if you listened to any of my old podcasts,

but I fired him a while ago, so it's just me on the call. Me and you. Oh, yeah, no problem. No problem. I haven't listened to any of your podcast yet, but it sounds like a really wonderful. idea and I'm best I'm going to be checking him out later for sure.

Yeah, don't be afraid of the titles. I don't know. I mean, because I don't know much about you. All I know is that you sent me an email. I mean, most of the time people are more specific what they're calling in. So I have no idea. I mean, you seem to come across in your email that like this is just going to be just a simple call about relationship advice.

Normally a lot of my stuff is a little bit like more specific and out there, but interesting. But what is your deal? Like what relationship advice are you? looking for. Sure, sure. Well, I mean, you know, when I initially emailed you, I was just, I was curious to, you know, see what you were doing. And I always like these types of, not necessarily interviews, good, interview, but the idea

of just being very open with relationships and, you know, sexuality and these kinds of things, especially as I feel like in America we have progressed to understanding sexuality that's, you know, much different than, you know, Kinsela's initial, you know, 1950s version of sexuality. And, you know, so I just, I like to participate in these kinds of talks and that kind of stuff. So for me in particular, I mean, I don't know, I could go in lots of different avenues. But I think for me in particular, I had a very strong. serious relationships that didn't go well at the end. And, you know, one of the things that I was, you know, just wanting to talk about and also

just hear more about from you. And maybe you could direct the conversation as well as just, you know, just advice and, you know, what you've seen either in your own personal situation, but probably more just, you know, with the podcasts you've seen with, you know, heterosexual relationships. like what women are looking for, what, you know, how I could maintain a stable relationship. Because what I'm looking at specifically is that because our society has changed and progressed and there are just so many more options, I've read lots of articles and, you know, from therapists to psychologists to all this kind of stuff that, you know, nowadays when you're in a relationship,

the partner takes on so much more responsibility that didn't, you know, that didn't used to be. You had family, you had, you know, not that we don't have family in these other support networks, but the idea is that your partner is supposed to be not only stable, but also spontaneous. Yeah, but how did that play out in your, but first of all, how long in your last relationship, how long was that relationship? It was two and a half years. And how in that relationship, because I like to get really personal with people, right? Right. So we're going to talk about you and your shit. And that'll turn into like the bigger topics, which we're always talking about on the show. Monogamy versus non-monogamy, open relationships. You know, the man, woman thing, all that stuff that you just talked about. Like I'm always sort of analyzing it and wondering what the fuck is the deal. Because things and also, you know, that things are very different now than they were even when I grew up, you know, 20 years ago when I was dating when I was younger.

you know and you were talking about like in the 50s right or whatever with it was a what's his name that that famous sex guy right is who you brought up yeah yeah but but let's start though with you and your personal story your so that relationship was two and a half years and did that whole thing that you're just talking about right now with like the the the part your partner having so much more responsibility was that an issue between you and your girl Yeah, yeah, it was. And, you know, definitely, you know, could get specific about that. You know, for me, one of the things that we found is that, you know, we had, you know, we had a great relationship.

We did lots of things together. You know, we had lots of fun. You know, she was a wonderful woman. She is a wonderful woman. But one of the things, like all couples, you know, we all have our things and, you know, stuff that doesn't work well. We're all works in progress, so to speak. Totally. One of the things that for us is that, you know, the sexual connection and the chemistry just wasn't always there.

One of the things that I found out, you know, later on in my relationship with her much later on is that for the first, I would say it was at least two months. I think it was up to three months. You know, I didn't make her orgasm. And, you know, that was something that was really hard for me to hear, like, a lot of, you know, men, you know, it's hard to hear that. But I think what was harder was the fact that she didn't feel comfortable talking about that with. I mean, she was just a very, well, that's a problem. Right. And that's why she can't have orgasms.

I mean, that's an issue that's with, I'm sure no man has been able to give her an orgasm. You know, that's more her own thing, you know, and a lot of women have that thing. Like, honestly. Yeah. And a lot of women fake it and guys don't even know that their women has that. Your girl couldn't even fake it, okay? And the fact that she couldn't even talk about it, she probably didn't, like, jerk off herself. Like, she probably didn't have any clue about herself.

So that's, like, her own sort of a thing. And it's crazy that women are like that to me because they're missing out on such an amazing thing. But that's her own uncomfortableness, like, within herself. And that's totally going to get it in the way of a relationship. But how does that revert back to what you were talking about with, like, your family and everyone being, like, sort of not around so that they can't help? because a sexual problem with a relationship has nothing to do with outside help, right? Or that has nothing to do with what you were talking about before, where you were saying that you feel that the partner just has to bring so much more.

And when you say partner, do you mean the man to the woman or vice versa? Yeah, I just mean when you're talking about a partnership that both sides, you know, it's an equal playing field so that, you know, what the man looks for from a woman, You know, she's taking on more responsibilities and the same thing, you know, when the woman is looking to the man, they're taking on more responsibilities. But what responsibilities? Like what, though? Well, yeah. I mean, like.

How old are you, first of all? Because I have no enough. I don't know anything about you. How old are you? I mean, sometimes people give me more information in their email. Sometimes I don't. I prefer, though, the less I know, the better. You know what I mean?

Because I'm just going to ask you a gazillion questions and I'll get to know you. So you're 32. How old was your girlfriend? She was three years older than I at the time. Right. And was that your longest relationship, the two and a half year relationship? Yeah, yep. Okay.

So what was the, so besides the sex, so you guys, like, was the sex really great in the beginning or like, no, because you found out very early on that she was not having orgasms? Like she didn't even try and fake it? Well, see, no. I mean, that's the thing is that. But, you know, we definitely had good sexual chemistry. And I don't want it to sound like it was bad because that's, I mean, like if it was completely bad, then we wouldn't have lasted, you know, two and a half years. And, of course, there's many other things that go on in a relationship.

Right. It's not just so. It was good. You know, she was never a person to, like, be really local to begin with. So she's not that person who gets really into it like that. And, you know, that's just kind of her, which is totally fine. But I was a little suspicious, but part of my insecurity was that I didn't know how to bring it up, you know, which is kind of dumb because you say, well, why didn't you just ask her? Why do you just talk about it? But, you know, I didn't.

And then finally, you know, I didn't say that, did I? No, I'm saying that for myself. Oh, like, why wouldn't you just bring it up? Right. Well, she probably made you, like, sometimes you feed off of other people's sort of energy. Sometimes I think people give off sort of like a silent, like, boundary that they put up within themselves. and you just kind of know that you can't go certain places with certain people. You know what I mean?

So it was probably a lot more. Because you sound like my therapist right now. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, that's my secret other life. I want to be a therapist. But I don't,

I want to tell people what to do. That's why I can't actually be a therapist. I always say on my podcast, I give unprofessional advice. But, so like, so I think you have to like realize that it wasn't, you were like not being yourself or you're like,

why the fuck could I have done that? You were just probably. super sensitive and picking up on her boundary or not more more than a boundary when someone can't communicate it's not a boundary it's more a wall right so she put up a wall in a certain area and you just knew you can't fucking go there and I think a lot of times we face this in in relationships with other people whether they're friends or lovers or whatever and you sometimes you beat yourself up for like why can't I be this way with this person I'm normally that way but it's like they're giving off a strong signal like don't fucking dare go down that path so you just don't you know

mean and you don't know why but I think it's the energy coming from the other person. Yeah. No, it's so true. And it's something that, you know, hindsight's 2020. I didn't realize that the time. But then, you know, toward the end of our relationship and then when I was going to therapy and, you know, talking to other people and you start reflecting and thinking back on things.

So, you know, that's exactly what it was. You know, I picked up, you know, I picked up on that energy and like you said, that boundary, that wall that she was putting up. Yeah. She wasn't comfortable about talking about it. And because she wasn't comfortable, she didn't want you bringing it up. Think about it, right? It just kind of makes sense.

Yeah. Why the fuck would she want you to bring it up? You know, it wasn't like, you know, it's like if she's uncomfortable to going there, then she's going to let you know in every way she can, you know, since she's not a communicator, you know, she'll let you know in other ways. And people are notorious for that. So you had bad sex. So the sex was an issue, right?

because there was this huge thing sort of there between you guys where there was like a disconnect, right? Right, right, yeah. I mean, there definitely was at times. But like I said, you know, there were times where, you know, it was great and it was amazing. And, you know, we would have spontaneous sex and, you know, sometimes we would, you know, do it in public.

You know, not that often. But occasionally, you know, there's definitely. Like where in public? Oh, I mean. Like in a bar, like bathroom? Yeah, yeah, a bar bathroom. You did that. in the grocery store.

Where in the grocery? Oh, in the car? Oh, in the car. Car sex is great. Even when you're older. Car sex is great. Like you forget about car sex. Like I had a lot of car sex when I was really young because it's like the only place

you could do it because you don't have your own place, you know? But you forget about that. I mean, I live in New York City, so I don't have a car. So I can't tell you the last time I had a car sex. But you forget about like all those fun positions you could get in a car. Like, I don't know. I think it's kind of fun. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it definitely was. It was fun. It was also, not only was it just kind of that raw, fun, very animalistic experience, but it was also intimate, too, because, you know, it was something that I only shared, you know, with my girlfriend. You know, she was the only one that I did that with in my car, you know. Okay. So you had the sexual sort of thing.

Is that what broke you guys up? No, no. I mean, you know, there are other things that I think go into a relationship. and there's there are difficulties that every relationship have of course but you know for us in particular what kind of broke the you know the the last straw on the Campbell's back so to speak was more to do with on my end because I cheated on it right well that was going to be one of my questions was going to be like listen I put my ads on Craigslist in the casual encounter section you know and you know one's looking on there for relationships so I always you know anyone that's

calling me is like on there looking to get you know to looking for a hooker or looking for some you know whatever that kind of a thing so i was going to say to you like what were what do you go to craigslist for like is it just something like jerk off material or do you actually meet people on craigslist and have sort of you know have do you get hookers escorts or you just try and see if you get a screw a random stranger yeah i mean to be completely honest i mean all of the above no no i haven't No, I haven't done the hook or anything like that. Okay. But, you know, I had, you know, a couple of online profiles and stuff like that.

And so, you know, I don't go on to Craigslist that often. But, you know, one of the things that I do like to look at for two reasons. So, one, you know, it's kind of a fantasy. You kind of look at stuff. You're kind of like, oh, I wonder what, you know, this person is like, you know, blah, blah. But then, yeah, the idea is it's exciting to potentially meet someone that you know nothing about and it could just be for fun and, you know, let's, you know, see what happened. And, you know, so I started doing that after, you know, after my relationship ended and, you know, kind of going out there.

And to be completely honest, so, I mean, one of the things that Craig was, it really is bombarded with either scams or hookers. I feel like that's the majority of it to begin with. Or men. Yeah, or men posing as women. That's what I get. Unfortunately. Send a picture of my penis or something. Yeah.

That's what all these poor guys tell me is that, you know, it's either. you could get, you know, an escort and pay some money. And a lot of times you'll get ones that look like. They're pictures. Like, I've heard that, you know. Or you're getting, you know, a dude. So, yeah, you have, but when you say you've had a bunch of online profiles, do you mean on places like Craigslist, adult friendfinders, like that kind of online profiles?

Or profiles on like Match.com and shit like that. Yeah, yeah. Like Match, plenty of fish, you know, that kind of stuff. So have you ever met anybody from Craigslist? Yeah, I've met. two people. There was a third. I can't remember.

But, yeah, I think there was at least two. And what happened? Like, did you bang, just bang them? Like, were they what you expected? Like, what was the deal? Yeah, I mean, it was 50%, I should say, like, one time we did it up. And one time, you know, it was just, you know, we went out, met for a drink, and didn't really go anywhere.

And, you know, that was it. Right. And but one time. And these women that you met were, did they look like their people? pictures when you met them? Yeah, they weren't. I mean, they were definitely, I don't know, how to have it doctored up a little bit. I didn't look exactly like, you know, their picture.

But yeah, it was definitely fairly close. I wasn't completely shocked or anything. Right, right. And the one that you did get it on with, was that just a one-time thing? Or did you keep her, like, as a booty call on the side? No, no, it was just a one-time thing. How come? Like, was it not good, or did you guys just set it up that way?

Um, I don't know. I mean, it didn't, I don't know, it just didn't go because, I don't know, it was fun, but I think at least on my end and I think her and too, we were both a little bit nervous about the situation. You know, you think about safety and health and all that kind of stuff. And so I think that's probably a good thing that one of us felt super comfortable because then we were like, well, how often do you do this kind of thing? Right. Yeah, exactly. But I think that's really why we were like, well, it was fun, but that's it. you know, just at one time. Right. So who did you cheat on your girlfriend with? And how did she find out? Yeah, well, she told her because I told her. You what?

Wait, wait, wait. What did you say? You told her? I told her. We're going to talk about that psychotic, like that psychological, I was the psychotic and psychological mind fuck right there because I have a whole thing about people that actually tell people. But wait a second.

Who did you cheat on her with? First of all, was it your first time cheating on her in two and a half years? Or did you cheat on her the whole time? No, no, yeah, it was just, yeah, it was just that one time. And what happens? Like, how did the cheat and come about? It was through a friend from work, you know, went out to a party and, you know, drinking, you know, alcohol. I still, like, has something to do with things.

100%. Yeah, one thing led to another. And, you know, it's part of that, oh, well, it was, you know, you're not supposed to do it. it's bad, but that makes it exciting. Oh, cheating sex is always like the best kind of sex. It's so sad that it gives you some sort of like feeling that you can't get in

any other situation. It's really terrible that it's set up that way. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. And you weren't having good sex with your girl, right? At this point, this was after two and a half years, right? So you screw this girl in a drunken thing. Is it a girl that you work with?

What that knows? Well, it was a friend from work. And then that was per right. Okay. So you, did you go all the way? Did you screw her?

Like, did you do everything with her? Yeah. Okay. And then did you go home that night? Or do you guys live together? You and your girlfriend? Did you guys live together? No, no.

We didn't live together at the time. So she would have had no idea of knowing, right? Yeah. I mean. Right. So you wake up the next day and you feel so guilty that you feel like you have to tell her? I mean, that was the other thing. that I didn't tell her right way, you know?

And then it was like other things were going on and then finally admitted it to her. Oh, no. Okay, right. But what do you mean finally admitted to her? Or did you like, like, how long did before, after the time that you screwed the other girl and the time that you told her? How long of that time in between was? It was at least a month. That was maybe five or six weeks.

Right. See, that's why I think that there's always something else behind that telling the person that you cheated than really just being straight up. Do you know what I mean? Because why wait a month? Like I feel like you either tell immediately if you like I don't know or like once you decide I'm not going to say anything like take it to your grave. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal if you never did it again. Like you could have gotten over that shit yourself within yourself because that's like your job. But sometimes I think people get so freaked out by how they feel. They can't handle it that they dump it on to the other person.

And in a weird way, it's kind of selfish, right? Yeah. Because you're like, oh, you want that person to make you feel better about yourself because you feel horrible. And, like, you know, if you really love that girl, if you wound up married to her for 20 years, do you think at the end of the day, if you never told her you fucked one girl at that time

that it would be any big deal? I don't think so. I think it would have been better not to tell her. No, I totally agree with you. I totally agree with you. Right. And did you throw it in her face, like, in a, fight or something? Like how did it come up a month later? No, no, no, definitely not. No, I just,

I brought it up to her. You know, I called her on the phone. But what were you feeling before? Like, why did you pick up that phone? Like, what happened that day that you decided I'm going to call her up and tell her? Like, what was going on in your... Well, exactly, you know, exactly kind of what you were saying is that, you know, one thing that I've learned is that, you know, in a relationship, you know, there's kind of a given take. You don't necessarily have to tell your partner every little detail and every little thing that's going on in your life. And I agree with you. It was just like a one-time thing and whatever and move on.

And I love her, we could move on a relationship. You know, I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have said anything. But because there were other things going on in the relationship that were not going well. Right. And they've been having some difficulties and things going on, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's like... You were on your way out.

Maybe you were sabotaging. I mean, I don't know. One of the things my therapist said, I don't think. So I think it was just kind of like I had not dealt with other things that were not going well in our relationship. And so this was kind of like the catalyst of like, wow, now we need to talk about other stuff. But, you know, as soon as I brought up these other things, then it gets, you know, eclipsed by this one thing. Oh, yeah. I mean, come on.

Yeah, anybody's going to say that. Nothing else could be talking about. Anybody in like any kind of communication master would be like if you want to communicate better with your spouse, don't start off the communication conversation. with, oh, by the way, baby, I cheated on you. Now let's talk about our other relationship problems. That's like the antithesis of like how you would communicate with someone about the miscommunication in your relationship. So, yeah, and sabotage, let me tell you about sabotage.

I used to be a professional sabotage or I don't sabotage anymore. I haven't drank for 11 years. So alcohol doesn't get the best of me anymore. But let me tell you that sabotage and alcohol helps you sabotage, you know, and maybe that's like you did that even just screwing that girl right. was like you were just taking down that relationship because like you just saw the end coming so you're just like let's bring it on you know and you just go out that way a lot of times when you're sabotaging you don't know that you're sabotaging so you know you might you say that you don't think it was but it still could have been most of the time when you're saturday you don't you don't really know that you are it takes a while after you're out of it to really after you're out of it to really how long have you been out of that relationship It's been two years now. Two years.

Do you really think like, I mean, do you feel like she's the one that got away? Or do you feel like now that you're out of it for so long that you can look back and be like, oh, that needed to end anyway? I feel like she was the one that got away. Really? Yeah. You shouldn't have opened your mouth. You were so dumb. I think there's different levels of cheating, right?

And there's different kinds of cheaters. You know, you have your tiger wood cheaters. And if you listen someone to my podcast, okay, I have a lot of those. kind of guys that call in, okay? And I've dated some of those kind of guys. And they're the ones that they're not just cheating. They are like having full-fledged relationships. They need a million girls to like them. And they're fucking all of them. You know, they're like so hardcore. That kind of cheater is the worst. And then you have guys that never cheat. And that's a very small part of the population, but they exist. And then you have like your next level of cheater that, you know, maybe in his 30 years of marriage, he goes on two business trips and he fucks a hooker. Or he whine. up like you and screws someone drunk and then he feels terrible about it and then he doesn't do it again. Like that's like the, that's not so bad. And that's not even just, is it cheating? You know, I don't know. Like I don't think that that's that bad. And I think that kind of person, if you

keep it to yourself, do I feel bad for your girl that she's with you? No. But as a woman, let me ask you. Yeah. I mean, let's say, you know, you're married to someone for 30 years and maybe you don't know for sure, but you would be okay with, you know, your man, you know, once or twice or, you know, a long relationship doing something like that. Yeah, you know, we talk about this in my podcast a lot. I talk about this a lot because I know, you know, I have equal friends women and equal friends male friends, you know, like I, and I've had a lot of guy friends in my life and I've dated a lot of guys and had a lot of relationships with guys and I have a lot of girlfriends. And I have to say through knowing men, I know for a fact that there are men that are totally monogamous. And

a lot of men will be like that doesn't fucking exist. But no, they do exist because I've had really great friends that are totally monogamous and that's the way that they are. Right? So I know that it exists, but it's very small and it's very rare. And I know most men will cheat and they fall in the middle. And then I've known the really bad cheaters.

You know what I mean? The ones that are like forget about it. You know, you wouldn't have fixed them up with your worst enemy, but I've dated some of them and I'm like, how the hell did I get involved in this? You know? And it's just like, and so I always, though, even when I was, little. I was always like obsessed with swinging and swingers and I was always like, oh, I hope to be like one day to be this person that's sort of evolved enough not to feel like I need to

own someone sexually. Have I been able to master an open relationship? No fucking way. Have I had them? Yes. They always turn out bad. I've had booty calls long term. Bootie calls where I don't care. I believe in meaningless sex. Like we can screw people we're not in love with and have a great time but when you really care about somebody you know it creates a whole different thing sexually and stuff and i'm just not at that place but i do believe this is what i believe and there was this great documentary on swingers once that i watched and i've talked about it before my podcast and they they took this journey with these a bunch of couples over a whole year of them swinging and you know in the beginning it was the ones at the end that didn't make it were the ones that were dating

for the least amount of time you know but the double did they said that the double digit this is what they came up with the conclusion was like people that were with each other over 10 years and double digit years were the people and they started swinging after they were with each other that long they were the ones that did it and they were cool with it because I do believe that if you're in an amazing relationship and I've never gotten to this point in a relationship but I want to one day where you like unconditionally love each other and you've been together for so long that you're just great friends you know that you're going to fucking die together because you're you're you're you know what I mean that's where you're at

do you really care if you if you sleep with other people probably not and I think some people are at that point in their life because at that point you have that security and that trust and everything that you have I think what jealousy and all that shit is about in the beginning of relations all those beginning years is about

a fear of abandonment you know distrust and you know worrying that you're not going to still be with that person all that stuff but I think if when you're with this one for a really long time and you and you all that stuff goes away, what does it matter? Is sex is just sex? We all know that we

could screw people and it means nothing. It's very hard for women to understand that because we're not wired like men. Do you understand? Well, that's what I was just going to ask. I mean, that's kind of, you know, what I was alluding to. It's just, it's so wonderful to hear you say this. I feel like you actually give me some faith and, you know,

maybe having a relationship again. Is that, you know, like you said, you know, there are some inherent differences, some innate differences between men and women. Yeah. You know, is it possible for me to, you know, meet, you know, a woman like you, who is, who is understanding, open, you know, the different between men and women and saying, you know, like, yeah, I'd be okay, but not to let a man just, like, run free and just like, you know, fuck around all the time. But, I mean, I just feel like

women won't really accept that. As one of my hesitations to really being completely honest about who I am as a person. Right, but you can't go into it. Like, it's like, you know, I went on a date with a guy recently who had this really crazy scenario going on and he basically, without getting too specific about his story, he was like he had two women in his life that he was sort of in relationships, he was screwing one or this one was like this way. He was obviously commitment folk because each girl that was in his life wasn't sort of right for him in a certain way. And he just wanted to add me into the mix and he didn't believe in like, you know, serious relationships either. He was very into open relationships, but more so in a dysfunctional way where he just wanted to go into

it being that way. I would never go into a relationship in the beginning being totally open. I think you could work towards that if you're with someone really cool and you communicate. Do you understand? I think like I said, you have to be with somebody for a really long time. I once had a boyfriend and he was going to Brazil for carnival and we all know what goes on in Brazil for carnival. You know what I mean? Just sex and cocaine. Those people just like to dance and fucking do coke, you know, so I'm like, this guy is totally going to cheat on me. And I remember going up to one of his friends. I was Listen, I really like this guy, you know, because it was very early on our relationship. I said, please do me a favor.

And no matter what he does, make sure when he comes back, he lies and he lies good. Because I don't want to know, because I don't want to have to stop liking him. Do you know what I mean? And I think if you really respect a woman, what I would hope for my man, if he comes into my relationship, for the time that we're being monogamous, if you're not being fucking monogamous, do everything you can to respect me to never let me know. Who then who cares? But what I find with a lot of guys that are full-fledged cheaters is they're sloppy.

They let you know, you know what I mean? And as a woman, we have this kind of intuition where we see lots of things. At least I have it hardcore. I'm very sensitive and I'm super smart. So I know everything. So, you know, it's hard to sort of get away with it. I believe if a guy, if you're going to screw someone, screw a hooker that you're never going to talk about.

If it's just about sex, just go and do your business and it's that kind of a generic booty call, like, you know, service call, like I would call it. that's fine but a lot of time the cheating goes beyond that and that's a scary thing in the beginning of relationships when you leave it open but I'm going to tell you a lot of the younger generation people are very different things are very different um I think younger people are having more sort of untraditional relationships and I think it's great I think they're more open to things like that like for sure and the fact that you're in your early 30s means that you could tap into that generation do you understand

they're more open minded. The girls are more open sexually. When I was growing up, like, you know, the reason why people had relationships and I think the reason why men dated so much is because it was the only way they could get laid. Because, like, 90% of the women wouldn't screw anyone and 10% were sluts. So they were married. Yeah, 10% were sluts. I was a slutty girl, but I was like a 10% girl.

Like, no girls were giving it out unless they were in relationships. And then, so guys had to be in relationships because it was the only way they'd get constant ass. now girls will screw anybody like every girl's slutty I think you find like 10 it's like opposite to me like 90% of the girls are like they'll screw anyone they'll do things

are more open sexually they're they don't have to be in a relationship to have you know to have fun it's not like the olden days and 10% of the girls might hold out but it's a very rare breed right so why do guys need to be in relationships one friend of mine who waited until she was married to have that one oh I was talking about

they were not waiting until married I mean that forget about that I'm talking about like girls used in when I was growing up would wait until they were in a relationship. You know, they had to be dating a guy. He had to be in love with them. You know, it was they had to have that commitment. Now girls give it up, you know, after you know them one night. And I think so I think a lot of guys don't have to date.

Don't date now. And it's very hard to get a guy to actually stay committed. And because why would you need to? You could get laid every single night. I don't know where you live, but if you want to live in a new, if you want to get laid every single night with a different girl. You could live in New York and it could happen and they're all beautiful. So it's just the way that it is.

I mean, yeah, I mean, I live here in the city. I live in the Bronx and I don't know. I mean, like I've just really been out and I've been with friends and stuff. And it's still, you know, even though I totally agree with you, there's a lot of beautiful women out here, you know, it's still hard sometimes. I mean, I'm a good looking guy.

Yeah, I was going to, I need to ask you your scale. One to 10, what are you? Well, it depends Who are we comparing? We putting like, you know, celebrities in on the scale Or just, like, regular guys? No, well, will you consider yourself one to ten? Brad Pitt's not on that list

On the scale? Seven? Most people say there are seven. I just had one crazy guy who said he was a 12. Most of you would call and say they're like seven And I have one guy who's, he was so nuts. He was like, I'm a 12. I was like, oh, my God.

This is why I know he's certifiable. but okay so you're a seven and you don't get you don't have that thing where you get like all those girls at for like what I was just saying I mean like I definitely I definitely do but I think

you know one of the things I don't maybe it's just in my relationship but there's this one woman that I was seen and you know then I broke that off and then I've got this other girl that I'm seen right now and they're great girls but now I feel like I want I don't know I want something better

I'm trying to get back to, you know, way my relationship was with my last girlfriend. I mean, she was, you know, she was model quality. I mean, she was beautiful. And so now I'm, one thing that I'm having a hard time with, especially here in New York City, because there are so many beautiful women is being too focused on the, you know, the physical element of, you know, a woman looks like and not looking at the big picture. And your girl had it all, like she was beautiful on the outside, beautiful on the inside, you were compatible with her on multi-levels.

Yeah. Listen, if it was so easy to find like that person that you actually date, like that's, you know, it would, that's why it's special and that's why you wind up saying, hey,

I'm going to park it here, right, every now and then it doesn't happen all the time. That kind of connection where you connect on all, like all the stars have to align. It's kind of difficult, right? I mean, some people definitely have patterns in their life,

but I have friends that could go from one long-term relationship. They're single for two months and then they meet that next person, you know, and it's just, To me, it's like, you know, everyone has different patterns. You know, I don't know what your pattern is. But, you know, you were on two and a half years. You've been off for two years.

And you're looking for a relationship right now, right? Oh, I don't know. I mean, like, honestly, there was this a friend of mine that we, you know, we kind of, I don't know, we kind of dated, but we both said, like, no, we're just going to be friends. And we started the whole friends with benefits thing, which was good. But then she left. She moved outside of New York. from one of those things that we were just talking about, you know, as she's leaving, I'm asking,

you know, so what are you missing? What are you going to miss about New York and yada, yada, yada, yada? And we were just talking. And then it finally just, I don't know, it came out things that we hadn't talked about because we were just, you know, quote-unquote friends that she said, I feel like sex ruined our friendship. And, I mean, that's really? Because, yeah. How come?

She said. Because we, we, it was a really solid. friendship and inevitably you know I think that emotions come into play and what she was speaking to was that you know when you're doing something casual sometimes

hard for certain people at some point you know those feelings come out and she was just basically I gather we didn't get you know into a full flage admitting that she started to like you she admitted that yeah right yeah I have rules for booty calls

you know you started to like her too? Yeah, yeah. Where did she moved to? Well, she left, she went down south, so it's not like here anymore. I mean, would you have dated her if it would have, like, progressed? What's that? Would you have dated her if it would have progressed? Did you start feeling feelings for her, too? Like, do you feel like you might, you guys would have maybe wound up in a relationship? Maybe, but I think I was still just hesitant from my last relationship and whether or not I wanted to get into another relationship. Right. I've still hesitant, you know.

Right. That's where you're at right now. But she was starting to like you is what she said. Yeah. Yeah. There's a method to booting it. Like there's a, the only way, to me, it's like I've tried to do it a couple times. I mean, I've tried to do it a lot of times that it didn't work.

I've done it sometimes and it was like, and I was very successful. And it's because, you know, it has to be a, to me, a booty call has to be a certain way. It should always be for the woman, because it's harder for the woman. It should always be with somebody that you've gone down the emotional road with already, you know, where been there, done that fell for them, had the whole thing and then got over them and you know you'll never go back, you know? And then when you're done, whenever I loop out of guys, to me, I'm always like, oh, I could go back to that person and like, now I could have, just have sex with them, you know,

I'll never like them again emotionally, but if like I was physical with them, it could work. And, you know, that's the only way. It can never be with somebody that you never had that you're great friends with because then it's going to progress. There is that weird thing, unfortunately, for women. We have some sort of chemical that's released, by the way. It's like in nature, and I'm sure you've read about this, that bonds us to men when you have more orgasms with them.

You know, and it sucks. But if you've been ready, but I feel like if you've already been bonded to that person and you unbond, I personally could never be rebonded. So, you know, I could just go back after that, and that's a good booty call to have. But they could, a lot of times, though, booty calls could get messy because of that reason for sure. Yeah, exactly. Well, one of the things is she was saying, one of the things that I was talking to a guy friend about is that, you know, especially with women, you know, there has to be that you can't even bond, you know, like if you get to that point where the woman's kind of having any type of feelings, you have to cut it off. Right. Because a lot

women, it's like once it starts and you can't go back, where like you said, what you're saying is like, you complete that cycle. And then you're like, okay, I bonded with him, but I know that this isn't going to be long term. So now I can separate it. Totally. I had a guy recently. I was dating for a while and it was like a very convoluted crazy.

I don't even know if he would call it dating, but we had a whole thing for two years, a very complicated thing. And the sex between us was insane. Massive chemistry. And I had to start controlling it because I didn't want to be so whipped to him because it was a very dysfunctional sort of situation that we had. And so I kept myself at bay. And I kept that I wouldn't even towards the end, I was a full-fledged weirdo when it came to sex because it was like I wouldn't even let him give me an orgasm because it was like it was the only way to control my sort of closeness with him.

And that's why I finally had to end it. And I always felt like, oh, I can't wait till this ends because I know that when I loop out of him, I could go back and be like, hey, you want to bang? Because we were like great friends before. He was like my best friend. And once I did, at least for me because once I'm done with somebody I'm done and I know I'm done with them because I could see them make out with another girl and I don't feel one feeling because I fully I fully go through things with it you know what I mean I'm friends with my ex-boyfriends I'm friends with their wives their kids all that shit like once I'm over someone I really am over them and I'm fine so I know that I oh I could go back to that guy and I could screw him now and recently I tried to

do that and he was like weirded out I don't know it was like a weird thing and I was like you know it's weird because you think as a man it's hard to get a booty called for nothing. It's annoying for women too. There's always a fucking problem. It's very hard to find just free sex that's fine and good in the ways that you want it, you know? Yeah, yeah. No, I totally hear you. I totally hear you.

You know, you deal with this bullshit on a woman's end too, but I think, yeah, you have to screw like your ex-girlfriends. Those are the people to actually have booty calls with. Any other girl you're going to screw this, she's just going to say she's just your friend. She's going to eventually wind up liking you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I hear you. I hear you. Well, thank you. I mean, this is, honestly, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but this has been a really, for me, at least a productive call. I really enjoy talking to you. Cool. I know, you didn't think I could speak English.

I think you emailed me something like, do you speak? I don't say this in my call, but like you had emailed me once. You're like, do you speak proper? Like, where are you from? You don't speak proper English because my iPhone is so fucked up with the auto. correct. I was just sending you nonsense or something, right? Like, you probably thought I couldn't even speak English. Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, because you're, you typed out very well, but then you just, you didn't. And I don't know, I just had a couple situations like we were talking about earlier.

Like, yeah, just full of poker and the scammers. And I'm thinking, oh, great, this is not even a real person. This is just someone from, I'm weirdo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I go, oh, great. Ask you for my credit card numbers. Totally. Totally. Getting your number and I'm going to spam you like crazy, totally. Right. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know if I helped you with anything. Like, you just wanted to chat about this stuff, right? I mean, you're at a place in your life where you don't, you still don't know what you want to do, right?

You're not, like... I'm open. I mean, I'm open to meeting people. I'm much more comfortable in myself and, you know, discussing with women about, you know, what I want, but also asking them about what they want, you know, not being afraid to ask or, you know, get hurt or anything. like that. And honestly, it was just, it was so refreshing to talk to someone like you who just,

I feel like you really get me. I just, I just felt a connection and just, even though we, you know, I've never met or anything, but just the idea that, you know, you just, we, we have similar ideas about relationships and, you know, the fact that I could have a relationship with someone and be open, like you said. And, you know, it, you know, there might be something out there for. Yeah. And I think that, you know, you're a smart, well-spoken. and guy and you do like to communicate. You called my show just to sort of chat and analyze things. Like you're the type of guy that a lot of, like you're the type of person in a relationship

would be great in relationship because a real relationship, a good relationship requires exactly what you enjoy doing, which is like talking about these things. And right? And that's great. So when you do meet the right girl, as long as you don't go into it like a fucking weirdo saying, hey, can we screw other people one day? Like I would never say that. You know what I mean?

Start off. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. It's good to know. Yeah, start off in that way. But if you have somebody, you know, who's open-minded and, you know, and sort of on your same page, you'll probably meet that person that's open to it like you down the line. Do you know what I mean? That comes down the line.

You got to do the normal thing that, you know, in the beginning. But you've got to be open to it. And you'll know that girl. Go younger. Yeah, yeah. No, that last piece of advice is super helpful to me because, you know, as I've, you know, as I've met women, and, you know, again, I pick up on, you know, if someone's open or willing to communicate, and I'll just, you know, I'll kind of, oh, yeah, well, what do you think about

this? And that's good, but, you know, it's everything. There's a double-edged sword because one of the things that I've heard not only from my ex, but from other people is that, like, Alex, sometimes you just, you analyze too much, or you talk too much about certain things, like, just step back and just enjoy the moment. And, like, kind of like what you were saying is it, just enjoy the progress of the relationship before you think, you know, 10 steps down, you know,

forward and say, oh, well, what do you think about an open relationship? Like, establish the relationship first and enjoy each other's company and then, you know, subtly and, you know, carefully bring it up later if that's something that you both want. Yeah, exactly. And most likely when you, listen, I'm an analyzer too and I'm like you. And when somebody tells me, oh, don't do this or don't like analyze, I'm like, what you're trying to say really is like I should just die and come back as a different person. Because like, I'm sorry.

Like I'm just the fucking analyzer. So I'm going to do that. Do you know what I mean? Like you're going to, you're going to have. that part of you. So forget about changing that. But most likely the next time that you're really ready and you meet a girl that just knocks your socks off and you're totally into that, you'll probably forget about the open relationship thing. You'll forget about all that shit. Do you what I mean? And you'll just be so focused on that relationship happening that that stuff won't come

out anyway. Do you know what I mean? You just haven't met that right person and you're not totally ready yet because that stuff you won't think about and you won't be. You'll just be analyzing, you know, when she's going to call me and like, how's it going and whatever? You know what I mean, you're not going to be worried about that, but if she's cool, and then as you progress and you get more comfortable in the relationship, then you can have those conversations, like, what do you believe in? You know, you explain yourself that you're a monogamous guy and it's easy for you to be monogamous, but you just wonder, like, is it realistic, like, you know, 10, 20 years down the line, like that kind of a thing. Right, right, right, exactly.

Right, because you were, you were faithful for two and a half years and you cheated once and you felt really terrible about it. So that means you're on that, you're on that good part of the spectrum of cheaters. You know what I mean? You're like you're like the good guy that like, you know, is pretty monogamous and capable of it for a long period of time. And that's important. So you don't want to let some girl think that you're some guy that just, you know, can't fuck other women, you know, because there's like, and those two guys are like to me, I'm always like, oh, those guys are closer to the apes. You know what I mean? Like less evolved. You know what I mean? And some guys are more evolved. They're farther away from the ape. You know, you want to make a woman think you're farther away from

ape. I like that. I like that. Should I put that in my, yes. Say I'm pretty, I'm much farther away from the ape than most men. Well,

I have less hair too, so that helps. Yeah, maybe that's why you're not so hairy. Okay? So, yeah. So you, and I could tell that you're that kind of guy.

So make sure that you lead with that. And then eventually, you know, you could bring up that other stuff and talk about it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's just,

I think that's, The other thing is it's refreshing to hear you say it and to be okay with it myself. Be like, you know what? I can still be a good guy. I can still be, you know, a good boyfriend, have a good relationship. And, you know, just be okay with the fact that, you know, maybe every, you know, several years or a few years, you know, something happens, but I'm open about it. I'm honest. I'm not.

Because I think one of the things that I learned is that by trying to suppress that, you know, side of me that, you know, it bottles up. and then I do something that is not, you know, that it's hurtful, you know. Totally, totally. And then you feel like a terrible person when it's just in your DNA as a man. I mean, you're still a man. So I don't care how far away you are from the ape. It's not totally natural to be totally monogamous. And I think it's very unrealistic to think that people are going to shack up with one person for 30 years.

You know what I mean? And just that's it. And, you know, it's like, come on. And but I think the way. the men that really love women and respect women and they really just want a little extra pussy on the side, like you do it in a way that nobody will ever find out. You're not sloppy about it. Maybe you do it with a hooker in another, you know, country, like whatever.

But like, and that's the way you do it, you know. Yeah, exactly. Well, and that's the thing is that I never, I mean, never has even crossed my mind to not be faithful emotionally. Like it's always just been a very physical thing. Right. that's what the woman is really looking for. I think that a lot of men that cheat and a lot of men that I know that cheat, they think that they're just being men and they're just non-monogamous creatures. And really what they are, no, they're like, to me, I'm always like, oh, if you were a

girl, you'd be like a stripper. Like, you'd be like a needy, slutty girl. You know, like the girl that's fucking people because they need people to like them. Like, that's a lot of guys do that too. You know, they're outscrewing a million women, but it's really they, and they're texting them all the time and they're making the fall in love of them because they're doing. 100% right it's not about sex it's not about sex it's about them getting millions of girls to like them because like you know they have a vapid hole inside of themselves so that's that's the worst kind of person you want to you but if it's just about sex and it is and I believe that men have that what's the big deal but you do it and you never

let your girl know if she's not into it and you do it once in a blue moon and not with it and it's not it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean you don't mean you're you know what I mean? It doesn't mean any of those things. Listen to, if you really want to listen to the great shit, it's like that Dan Savage guy, you know, he used to write in the Village Voice, he's got a great podcast. He calls it monogamish.

He's gay. You know, the gay culture is very into open relationships. Oh yeah, he's a columnist. I've heard him. Yeah, but he, his podcast talks about, he talks about this kind of stuff all the time and he's in a very long-term relationship. He talks about open relationships and having that thing constantly

and he's so, he's so great. And so you need to listen to a lot of his stuff because he talks about it really, really well. Yeah, no, definitely. He's got a podcast called Savage Love. He's like all that I wish I could be. He's like really amazing. So yeah, listen to him.

But yeah, you'll be fine. You'll find your relationship. And if you cheat every two years, even if your girl's on into it, just don't let her know and you'll be fine. And don't feel guilty. And don't ever tell her. Don't ever.

Yeah. Okay. No, no, I appreciate it. I feel like I need you, though, down the road to talk to potential women that I'm going to date. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. No, I have repeat callers. I love repeat callers.

If in two months from now you meet the girl of your dreams and you're like, you know, please call back. Like I love to see people like down the line. Like hear from people down the line. We have people like that all the time on my call. So, you know, if anything happens with you or you meet some great girl or something happens, whatever, call back. Email me and we'll have you back on the show.

Thank you. I definitely appreciate it. It was a pleasure speaking with you. All right. Good luck, Alex. All right. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book,

it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category

that I talk about on my show, like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? but these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th,

but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there.

You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said.

all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.