Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 054 - Keyser Soze is Totally into Oral

Episode Date: December 29, 2014

Keyser Soze is back on to give an end of the year update on how he is doing in regards to his oral fetish. Does he still only want to go down on women or is he currently enjoying all kinds of sexual experiences? Listen in to find out as well as hear Kathi's advice on how to pick a girl up at the gym. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Is it real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and check. Here are your hosts Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy.

Happy holidays. This episode is going to air in the middle of the holidays. I already taped it because I'm going away. So I could tell you everything that goes down on this call. First of all, I got to say to do the things that I need to do, which is if you want to follow me on Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous or my own private Twitter, which is cartoon therapy. you could buy my book, my cartoon book, with all of my personal stuff in it.

It's all of my relationships for my losing my virginity story until I turn 40. They're pretty horrific stories, but they're funny, horrific stories. They'll make you feel better about yourself kind of stories. Anyway, that's on Amazon. It's a Kindle. You could get it for very cheap. It's like $2.99. And the name is the cartoon misadventures of a total train wreck.

So go on to Amazon or Kindle and download my book. Today what I did actually, oh, and if you want to write, what is that called? Oh, a review. I love reviews. I haven't got one in like a couple of weeks. So please write reviews. I always love them. And write into the show and tell me what you think about different things.

I love people's two cents. I haven't gotten one of those emails in a while either. And I love those. A lot of my listeners do that every now and then they let me know what they think. Good or bad. I'm into hearing it. So anyway, what I did is I went back and I emailed a lot of people that I talked to over the year to see because I was going to do like an end of the year wrap up, a where are they now kind of a thing. I have that in my book, actually. And I got so many people that responded and wanted to update me. And a couple of them ran really long. So I'm going to air the most full episodes.

And that's what I have for you today. I have Kaiser Soze. I don't know if you remember him. He was one of my first episodes. So some of you may not even have listened or heard that episode. But he was. a guy that only liked to go down on girls. Like that was his thing. Like he had an issue. Like he didn't even want to get blown. He didn't want to come. Like he just wanted to go down on them. He didn't want to fuck them. That was it. And then he wanted to go off into like the bathroom and take a shower and jerk off and think about it. And we came to the conclusion. Me and Tommy. That's when Tommy was in the call. We came to the conclusion. He had some sort of intimacy issues. And he was like working on that in therapy. So he calls in today and we discussed that. He's still dealing with that in therapy and we get into that and we hear about a girl he dated recently and how

that problem came up and how they resolved it or if they resolved it I'm not going to tell you so you listen and then we get into this whole other thing with him it was like weird because we talked about that issue and then it turned out that he actually has a crush on a girl that works at his gym and we talk all about that so if you're like looking to hit on a girl at your gym or at work or in any kind of environment like that it's a really good advice I give him in that kind of a scenario because that's really what we get into more so. His other issue he's working on the going down issue, but we really talk a lot about,

and I think I gave him really good advice, of how to pick somebody up at the gym. But I think the advice could go to, like, could be the same as like how to pick up somebody at work or how to pick up somebody that you see all the time in some sort of place. So it's interesting. And so that's what this episode is all about.

So I'll be right back with Kaiser Soze. Do you have a story? lifestyle or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.

Strictly anonymous. So hey, Kaiser-Souet, how are you? I'm doing like an end of the year where are they now or like update show. And so I've been reaching out to everybody that had. You were on very early on, like one of our first couple of episodes. So I just want to let people know what your call was all about. You basically wrote in because your problem was that you only like to go down on women, right? That was the deal?

A majority of my time, yes. That's what I prefer. Right. And you wanted to know how to find women that would be. into that. You didn't even want them to do anything to you, right? No. You didn't want to have sex with them. You didn't even want to, like you didn't even get off when you, you didn't even want to get off when you were with them. You just wanted to get them off in that way, right? Yeah. And I think our advice to you, mine was like, of course,

what I always do is I psychoanalyze everyone. And so I was like, oh, you have some sort of intimacy issue, right? And I was hoping, because we got into your backstory a little bit and you had come out of like, you know, a pretty hard, bad breakup and had been single for a while. And my recommendation was to sort of look into that intimacy issue so you could like, you know, progress and like to do more things with people. But in the meantime, we gave you some advice about like going on to nerve.com and maybe looking for people that were specifically into it because it's kind of like a fetish. You know what I mean?

And like, I don't know. I think that there are probably a lot of women out there that would, you know, maybe just want to just like lay back and let someone go to town. have to do any work. You know what I mean? Like a selfish, lazy girl? It would be perfect for you. Oh, man. If I could find her. Okay. So give me the update. So since we last talk, because it's about a year, it's over a year, right? We spoke probably last November. What's gone on? Have you found a girl to do it? I thought I did. Not too long after our conversation, I started bringing up more of that issue with my therapist than she did say that I do have some intimacy issues,

because along with my oral fetish, when I do have sex, I have a tendency that I have to shower immediately after. But I feel, you know what, it's so weird. Does that signify like an emotional intimacy issue? I didn't think so. I mean, to me, I mean, I don't mind the cuddling afterwards if that's what she wants, but, I mean, I'll give it a time limit, and I got to jump in the shower. I have to wash off.

And I mean, I just, I enjoyed the sex. I don't mind being sweaty. But now that we're done, I got to shower, got to clean off. And my doctor's telling me that that's more of a deeper intimacy issue that sex might not be as enjoyable as I think it is. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, but you're, like, teaching me something. I'm thinking about, I'm literally, like, going through my brain and thinking about all the guys I've been with. And, like, the one of the last ones I was with, and I had a two-year thing with him, and he was very severely commitment-phobic.

And he was one of the. have to take a shower right away, like, major thing. I never put two. And then when I think about all the other guys that are capable of having relationships, and they're still players and shit and they love sex, but like the ones that don't run to the shower are the exact opposite. That is a thing. I can't believe I never put those two and two together.

It was pretty eye-opening for me also. And let me ask you this. Were you always that way with showers? With sex, yes. When I got more into it, I just, I did realize and recollect that almost every time after I've had sex and if she's done cuddling, I get up, run to the shower, take a nice hot shower, clean up. Yeah, and we thought I was like sloppy or dirty because I didn't really have that major desire to run in and wash off.

But so your therapist says that that has to do with intimacy. What does she say that it stems from not really liking sex? Yeah, although I do indulge in it quite a bit, she's thinking that sex isn't as enjoyable as I think it is for me to have to clean up right afterwards, subconsciously telling myself that I just done something dirty and I need to be cleaned. Oh, fascinating.

That's so interesting. But anyway, I'm just like thinking still about my shit and people that I know. but so so you so you've been talking to her about the so you and her have definitely been getting into your intimacy stuff that stuff takes years to deal with anyway right so i mean if you do have intimacy issues because you got to go pretty far back in your history to figure out where that stuff comes from because i've had i have commitment issues right so i um my stuff comes out in a different way and i know i've worked with a therapist for really a long time before i feel like i've really changed that part of me so where are you at now Well, I tried having a relationship. I met a lady who seemed interested in my fetishes and was like, you know, it might work for her that we would have sex occasionally, but more often than not, she would let me indulge in my fantasies, my fetishes. But that lasted for about a week. After that, like other girls I've been with and girlfriends gave me that weirdo look. Like, why is this all you ever want to do?

I'll wait until she falls asleep and then I'll wake her up and I'll be already buried between his eyes. And she enjoyed it that she's like, that's kind of weird. Why is it you like always want to do this? I mean, if you ever want to just have sex, I'm like, no, not really. Yeah, we'll, yeah. And then when I'm done, I'm going to go jump in the shower and clean up and think about everything that just happened and pleasure myself. In the shower. You want to, right, that's what we talked about last time that you want to go and be with your, like, you want to, or you don't like to have, like, you don't like to have, like,

Like, you don't like to come in front of the girl. You do that alone. Yeah. That, to me, screamed intimacy issue. You know what I mean? That you, because to me, like an orgasm, being able to go to that place with somebody is, like, the ultimate vulnerability, right? You know, because you just really have to let yourself go.

So the fact that you wouldn't do that in front of a woman, you know, definitely seemed weird to me. I just never put the shower thing together. But you're in there washing off your shame. And then having, like, an intimate moment by yourself. in the shower. Yeah, any girl, I mean, we talked about on the, any girl is eventually, because as women, we just can't help it. Our brains are always, like, scanning to get information on a potential guy. Do you know what I mean? As far as like, what's going on? And we see patterns very easily. We look for that stuff. It's subconscious. Like, we just can't help it. And so any girl eventually, at first, she's going to be like, wow, I hit the jackpot. This guy just wants to go down on me all the time. But eventually, the girls are going to be like, what the fuck, right? Because it doesn't, make sense and they're going to think something must be wrong and that's what happens to you all the time right it does um this lady i was with she enjoyed it for that week and then we argued for a couple

weeks afterwards back and forth of why i enjoy it and why she's so freaked out about it i mean it's pleasure for her how can you get mad but uh-huh um overall i did we ended up just parting ways i mean i could do without the drama if this is i mean it's me pleasure new is going to cause this much drama than obviously it ain't going to work so we parted ways and I'm still single and looking. Yes, but I'm sure it wasn't, I'm sure, like, it's really easy for you to look at it and say, oh, if you don't, if you're, like, if it's a problem that I just want to get you off, then it's a, you know, I don't need that drama. I mean, there's a much deeper issue.

I'm sure that's not what she was really arguing about, right? Like, her thing must have been like, you know, you know, probably a lot of things come up for a woman. She's like, you don't really like me. Are you capable of really liking somebody? Do you want to get close? Why are you being distant? You know, there's probably, that's what she was arguing with you about. Yeah, maybe.

Right? Probably. It might have been. I mean, maybe she doesn't know how to put it into words. You know what I mean? But that's what's freaking her out. You know, it's not, it's not. I assumed everything was going okay.

I mean, a majority of the time that we spent together was most of the time we were having sex or cuddling and getting ready to have sex. So, I mean, I figured. everything is going okay yeah but sex to you okay when you say sex is sex to you just going down on her that's how i would prefer but i mean from time to time she does want to have sex so you did she wants i will have sex with her if that's what she wants but if she can if she's willing to let just let me have my way i would rather her just lay back and no i know that's what you think generally but what happened with this specific girl like you said you were only with her for a week right so

that's not really a lot of time and then you spent the next couple weeks arguing, right? Did you have real sex during that time? A few times, yes. Okay, and did she have a feeling about that that that wasn't right or something? Like, how did she get, how did she pick up so quickly on your fetish

and realize so quickly that you had this issue? How did it become obvious to her? Because I would spend the night at her place and at least spend two days with her on her days off and, you know, automatically get, we got the animal attraction. We jump on each other, and it's just immediately I want to rip off her pants and pleasure her. And even after we've had sex, I'll cuddle a little bit, and I'll slide down under the seat to him and we want to pressure her some more. And sometimes when she's sleeping and I can't sleep because I have problems sleeping, I'm up a lot.

I'm like, well, maybe she'll like this. I start pleasuring her some more. And of course, she enjoys it for the moment, but afterwards, she's, why don't you? wake me up with this. She, right, she was started, right. Well, it seemed like, you know, I enjoy it as much as possible. And if I'm only going to get to spend two days with her, why she's got her day off, and then she's got to get to work, and I got to go back to doing my things.

And I want to try and indulge in my fantasies as much as possible. So any chance I would, I assumed it was okay. And she enjoyed it for a while, and after it became an issue. And what would she say about it? a little bit that it was weird that that was all I wanted to do. Because, I mean, she would understand how sometimes that's how I would start, foreplay, whatnot, and then eventually move into the sex, but that's all I would do. Yeah, totally.

And sometimes she'd want to have sex afterwards, and I'm like, well, I don't really want to have sex. I just wanted to pleasure you. Go jump in the shower now. Yeah, that's not going to fly. We talked about this in the first one. That's not going to fly. And it's, she didn't, like, and the sad thing is, is it's not even like, you know, you think that it's not good for the girl. The girl's thinking it's not good for her.

But what I felt for you is it's not good for you. There's some part of you that's, like, unplugged and you need to plug that shit back in because you should be enjoying regular sex with women. Do you know what I mean? Like, that really should be your ultimate goal that you get moved beyond it, not just for the woman so that you could have a relationship with somebody, but also for yourself so you could have the desire to have a more sexual. well-rounded experience. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

And listen, these kind of things, like I said, take a long time. The good news is you're in therapy. You still see your therapist, right? Yes. Okay, great. And you're still taught, like, I mean, you obviously probably brought all those relationship problems into therapy, right? Like, did she talk, did she try to help you work through it?

It's so work in progress because there's a lot of things on the table at the moment. Aside from that, but it's definitely. something that's we're working towards. Yeah, and you know, me and my therapist, we call it data. And sometimes it's much easier to get data when you're in the relationship, but then when you're not in a relationship, it's hard to talk. You know what I mean? Like stuff that, it doesn't come up, right?

So it's just like if you're not seeing that girl anymore, you start to talk about other things. And if you're not, but, you know, it'll come back up when you're dating somebody else. Do you, how do you meet girls? Like, how did you meet that girl? I met her on plenty of fish, actually. Cool. So you're online.

dating. I think that's great. And, you know, maybe what you need to do with girls, and I don't, instead of like, because you said, you guys just argued, and it seems like, you know, she probably said what she was feeling in the wrong way, and then that made you defensive. I mean, women and men communicate so differently. And so a lot of times, 90% of the time, men get defensive because of the way women say, you know, and it's hard, you know. But really, you guys, you need to learn how to communicate with a woman and better your issues. so it doesn't turn into something where she's sort of accusing you and then you get defensive because you know that you have an issue. So for girls telling you about it, like there's no reason why you should be like, well,

fuck you. Like you just are mad that I'm trying to pleasure you. You know that that's not what she's mad about, you know, but it probably all comes out the wrong way. So you probably. Yeah. And talked about it in therapy and my therapist even offered that if I'm in a relationship, that she's willing to do the couple therapy,

let me bring her in for a session or two. That's what you need to do. And I told it. It sounds awesome, but the women I talk to don't know, I'm in therapy, and how do you bring that up and say, well, would you like to come to a session with me so we can talk about why all I want to do is pleasure you, and that's it. Right, but you're not going to say that on the first date.

You're not going to say that on a second date. You're not even going to say that on a third date, okay? Don't worry about that. No, but it's still, that's still a tough issue to bring up with somebody that you're in therapy alone. Right, but let me just, let me just give you a news flash. And then to bring them to say, do you want to take them with you to a session? It's like, no, but those are not going to all happen. You're trying to collide.

Totally. And just listen to me. You do not say all of that in one sentence, okay? What starts first, okay, is that you admit that you bring up that you're in therapy. And let me tell you, everybody should be in therapy, okay? most people have been in therapy at one point in their life. You do not, if somebody looks at you oddly, okay, that you're in therapy, then you don't want to date that person anyway, okay?

I don't date people that don't believe in therapy. I hate those fucking people because there's not one person on this planet that's normal or doesn't need, you know what I mean? We're all fucked up. We're all raised by people like, well, how could we not be fucked up? Everyone needs therapy. The only people that aren't in therapy are people that like don't think that, that don't believe in it.

No, I would say maybe the 20% of the population were raised healthy and are okay and don't need it, but 80% absolutely do. So anybody, and those 20% that are healthy and happy would never look at you funny that you're in therapy. So any woman that you tell you that you're in therapy and she breaks up with you or thinks that it's wrong, you don't want to be with that person because eventually when you're in a long-term relationship with somebody, they need to believe in like sort of working through things and therapy and stuff like that to make it through a long-term

relationship. So you don't want to do business with that. Most women, I'm telling you, we'll be okay with it. So you just start off with like that you're in therapy. Oh, and you don't even bring it up. You know, when that sex stuff comes up, you could say, listen, I know this is my thing. I go to therapy about it. And like I, you know what I mean?

It's an issue I'm trying to work on. And I know, and you know what I mean? And if you put it that way, women are like, women are full of hope. We love to help people. Like I really, like women are pretty easy. Like if you were a woman having this problem and you were just, dealing with a man. I tell you that a lot of men would just be like, go fuck yourself and find somebody else. But women, when they like a guy, they're willing to, you know, help out

and stick around and stuff. Like, that's just women's nature. So I think if you could, you know, be honest about it up front and be better at communicating that you know and let them know that it's an issue for you and you're working on it, you, you're more likely that person's going to stick around. And then eventually you could say, listen, do you want to come to therapy with me? Like, if you guys start to maybe communicate, you. Kate wrong about it, you could say, why don't you come to a session with me? Do you know what I mean? It doesn't have to be so formal. It'll probably just come up in time and you don't need to bring it up all at once. And I don't think you should because it's a lot of information. But you want to let a person know that

you know that this is an issue and you're working on it. Because to act like you think it's fine and then that girl's like something's wrong here, you know what I mean? Then there's a problem. But if somebody knows that you have, everyone has something and if somebody knows you have something, And if somebody knows you have something but you're working on it, I think that that's fine. And if you are in therapy, most people would think that that's great. Like honestly,

swear to you. So, and that's the girl you want to be with. And that's the girl you need to be with. Because the truth is you have some fucking issues that you're dealing with. And you can't live a double life. You can't have a relationship with someone. She never knows you go to therapy.

She never knows you have a sexual intimacy issue. You know what I mean? It's not going to fly. Yeah. You need to be with someone. And there's plenty of people that will accept that. Swear to you. So people.

People have a lot worse issues. You know what I mean? People date heroin addicts that are like drooling every time they come home. You know what I mean? Women date men that beat the shit out of them and they never leave them. Haven't you watched like Dr. Phil ever? Like, trust me. You're not bringing.

Yeah, I've seen that. It just never, the concept just doesn't fit in. I don't see how most of these beautiful women are just, are just head over heels with that beat them, leave them, slap them, whatever, and kick them to the curb. And yet they'd be nothing but want to get them back. Like, really? I know, but that will show you that. And yeah, I have a problem finding a woman.

No, because you have intimacy issues. So you're probably a little bit closed off and you're not letting that in. And you probably have like this feeling that you don't deserve someone because you have this law. You need to know that you're completely like lovable and able to like, and somebody would take you and be in a relationship with you the way that you are like this with your problem. But your problem needs to be out on the table a little bit. You know what I'm saying? You need to know that it's okay. And that's the right girl will be okay with it.

Listen, some people, I have a friend that has herpes And she's got to, like, tell a guy she has herpes And this bitch is married, okay? So some guy accepted that. You know, there's a lot worse. Like, a lot of people have a lot of stuff That they bring into a relationship That they eventually have to tell.

Everyone has a freak flag. You have this issue. So to bring up this issue, would it be something more of a second, third date type thing? No, I think you should bring up the issue When you guys start to fool around And if she wants is pushing you for sex And she, when you start to see, okay,

You need to be intuitive and watch the women. You know, women are very expressive. So most of the time you don't have to read their minds. You know, you're not dealing with men. Women are more vocal. So when you start to see that she's starting to have a problem or wondering what the hell or she's like, why aren't we having sex, that's when you need to say, listen, I have this weird thing.

Okay, I just like to pleasure. Like, and this is what I like and this is where I'm at right now. I do think it's like not right. I know on some level it's not right. I just, and I'm working on that and I go to therapy. but like this is where I'm at right now. And it should just come up when it starts to be an issue in your sex life with her, whether that's three dates into it, two weeks into it.

Do you know what I mean? And that sounds cool. That's fine. You know, and I swear to you, women are a lot nicer than men. If you were a woman and that, like, you'd be of a harder time finding a guy that's going to put up with you, nonsense. But, you know, the fact that you're dealing with women, women, we love to save men. And we, you know, and trust me, like if a girl, if you meet a right girl and she likes you and stuff and you're open to it and you communicate properly about it, it'll be fine. And she won't care that you're in therapy.

And if somebody cares about you're in therapy and they don't believe in it, run for the hills. Okay, because that person's living in another century. Oh. No, I'm serious. There's nothing wrong with that. You know, it's great that what would be wrong is there's so many people that are running around with massive, way worse problems than you have, intimacy issues like to the 100th power. and they're not dealing talking to anyone about it you know what I mean and they're 50 fucking years old and they're single and they're never going to be with someone so it's great that you're in therapy that's a that's a good thing and it cock blocks the bad thing so that's why it's okay for you to bring it up because you're dealing with it okay so do it so keep dating don't take yourself out of the market watch this is what you need to do you need to watch an episode of intervention do you know what that show is on A&E yeah okay go watch watch that show because you're going to see a couple and there's going to be a lady and she's

going to be in a puddle and she's going to be 500 pounds and she's going to be drooling and she's going to be the ugliest bitch you've ever seen and some guy's going to run out and save her and be crying and be on intervention trying to save his wife because he loves her. Okay. If that bitch could get a husband, you know, or vice versa, you could find somebody. There's somebody for everybody. Do you understand? People shack up and pair up with dysfunctional crazy people.

on a daily basis because human beings are just fucked up, okay? So if those people on intervention can find lovers and husbands, they all have husbands, okay, you can find a girlfriend. And that's what you need to know first. Do you understand? Because that's a little bit of your, and I get this because I think a lot of people that have these deep-seated problems feel like that they're not lovable because of it. Do you know what I mean?

So you need to know that first off that somebody will accept it and do business with you. And then once you're in that and you attract that girl, you need to just be open and start working through it. Okay. Okay. So watch intervention or look around and just see these disgusting people walking around with partners and be like if they could find someone I can. What's the worst thing about you?

You want to go down on somebody and have them do that. Like I told you, find a really selfish, lazy girl. She's not going to have a problem. She might even leave you when you get better because she's going to be like, oh, God, now I have to blow you and fuck you. you mean? Trust me. There's somebody for everyone.

Your problem is not that bad. You just need to communicate it properly because a woman will see it as a, like, we'll see it as a red flag. And if you don't communicate it properly and like, you know, she might, she will think you're more fuck than you really are. You're in therapy. You're dealing with it. You know that it's an issue.

If you say that, then she'll be able to work with you. If you start being defensive and saying like, oh, you know, you just don't like that I go down on you. Like what the fuck? Like then you're not going to get anywhere. And that's not even who you are. You know this is a deal. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Be as open with them as you are with me, but just not on the first date and when it comes up in the thing. And then you'll be good. And it's great that you're still dealing with therapy. And the best way to get over things is by getting through it. So the more people you date, the better. You need to keep having those relationships so you could keep working through this issue because that's where stuff comes up.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's good that you're dating. New Year's I'm looking to spend my time in Keystone, Colorado, my roommate and a couple of friends together go hit the slopes and do some scheme. I'm going to check in the size local cuisines and hopefully a snow bunny or two. Right, exactly. So you're open to picking up girls and stuff like that like you do, but you're really looking for a relationship now, right? It'd be nice, yes.

Is there anybody that you like? I mean, I know you do online dating. Is there anyone that you're dating now? No, trained three days a week and I have a bit of a crush on a girl at the gym. I believe she might be a personal trainer. Wait, when you say you train, meaning you get trained by someone or you're a trainer there? No. Oh, okay.

So there's a girl that you see at the gym that you're into? Yes, I believe in traded smiles, but that's as far as it goes. I get too nervous and intimidated to walk over and say anything. Yeah, listen. I'd leave it at that and continue with my training. Uh-huh. Yeah, totally. Listen, it's hard to pick up people at the gym, but I'm a professional gym picker-upper.

Like, I've done it. I love, like, you know, I don't drink anymore and I'm older. So for me, going to the gym is like a pick-a-place for me. Like, I prefer to meet guys there than, like, you know, anywhere. And because I lift free weights and I do weights and stuff, so I'm always where the guys are. So I have experience with that. And I see, you know, and I think it's a great place to meet people. You know what I mean?

Like honestly. And you know what's like the hottest thing that I love actually is if you meet somebody that works out too, you guys get to work out together when you're dating. And that's kind of fun. I love working out with the guy that I like. But anyway. I just don't want to feel like I'm coming off creepy. Like I just come in to work out at the gym and here's this guy that I see every Wednesday is going to be flirting with me or trying to foot with me.

And I'm just coming here to work out. I'm like, now I don't want to make the situation uncomfortable. Totally. You don't want to do that. At the same time, she is very attractive. At the same time, she's very attractive. She has beautiful eyes and cute temples when she smiles. And she looks at you and you smile.

This is what you have to do, because I go to the gym at the same time all the time. And I think eventually, like, you all start seeing the same people. When you start to see somebody at the same time all the time, like, I don't know about you, but what happens to me with the guys at my gym is we start to say hello to each other, even the ones I don't like, because you kind of see each other all the time that you're like, okay, like, hey, what's up, you know, when you do. just say hello or, you know, so now that you guys are like smiling at each other, like, you're not just going to walk over to a girl to gym and be like, hey, could I have your number

like you really had. It's not a bar. You know, there's fluorescent lights. Most people aren't wearing makeup. You know, it's not that kind of a scene. So you have to sort of ease into it, you know. But you definitely. Honestly, I've never asked a woman for her number.

Whenever I've approached them and asked if they would like to go to lunch or dinner, I've always given my number and told them, you've been the option that when they're ready, they can get me a call and we can set it up from there. Right, but it's not even the point of asking for the number or not. It's the point of you're not going to go in in a gym situation and just say, hey, you know, I find you attractive. Do you want to go out? Like you can't just go in for the kill like that at the gym

because it's not a bar situation. Do you know what I mean? You have to do a little bit more chatting it up first. So now you guys are looking at each other. She's looking at you. She smiles at you, right? She does. You smile at her, she smiles like, next time she smiles, you have to be like, hey, next time you see her, just walk by and be like, hi, just say hello.

Start with that. Swear to you. That's what you have to do. And then you have to, as uncomfortable as this is, because I'm a super aggressive person. I'm like the guy in the relationship a lot of the time. So like my one gym guy that was the most successful gym guy that I picked up because I was really into him and I got him for like a year. I, you know, I could tell he was into me and I was into him. but that douche never came over and made a pass of me.

So I had to do it. And what I did is I just, like, made sure, like, one day when I was working out very close to him, and I didn't do it on purpose, but one day when I was, like, in his vicinity, like, I asked him something, like, there was a wait. Could he pass me a weight? Like, I just made an excuse to just get in a conversation with him. Do you know what I mean? And then I kept it going.

Yeah, that's what makes my general area. Uh-huh. When I get to the gym. That's good. that what do you mean awkward that's a good thing it's kind of hard to try to walk in and pop up a conversation or have an icebreaker because she's also i believe working she's with a customer personal training And I hate to cut into that person. Oh, she's with someone? She's a personal trainer.

She's always training somebody when I see her. Okay, let me ask you this. This is another angle. What about the person training you? You go there and you're trained by somebody too, right? No. Oh, I thought you said you go to the gym to be trained. Like you do.

I do, but that's usually our interaction time. I'm kind of doing my own personal stuff. That's okay, but this is my point. This is my point because you obviously know somebody. that works at that gym. The person that trains you works at that gym, right? I believe so, yes. Right.

So do you, have you ever hit up that guy or girl and said, hey, what's the deal with that one over there? Why not? I'm very, I'm so nervously scared to ask about, ask anything about her. I don't want anybody else wanting to know what my intentions are because then the gossip's going to start floating around. But that's what you want. Like, you want her to know.

to know that you're kind of into her. And I don't, listen, I don't think that the gossip would necessarily go back to her. There's like a bro code, I think that goes on. I think guys are pretty loyal to other guys, right? Unless he's like a girly guy. Is your trainer a guy? It's so sexist of me to think it's a guy. Okay, so it's a guy, right?

So, you know, I think if you say, hey, dude, what's up with that girl? I think she's, like, really hot. He'll give you the skinning, and he's not going to run back and tell her. I don't think. You just have to hope that he's, like, not banging her or into her, too. I doubt it. He's a much older man. Oh, okay. So, yeah, so then I don't think, I think guys are pretty loyal to one other. I don't think it's going to turn into gossip.

I think you need to ask him a little bit information and maybe start with that. But I think you have to, I believe this, and this is going to sound really fucking out there, I believe in willing people my way. I literally, I literally can, if I want somebody really badly and I focus on them and I decide that that's my next target, I could make them like approach me. I can make them come into like my neighborhood. Like I swear to you, when you put something in your mind and you decide you want to have it, like you could make that shit happen.

Whatever that is, they write those stupid books about it. I mean, I don't believe in all that crap. But I've got to tell you, it has worked in my life. So if you really let yourself be overcome with the power that you have to have this girl and you are going to fucking talk to her. Something will wind up where you will be like at the water fountain and she'll be in front of you. And you will be given that opportunity. You have to stop being afraid of it happening and just start wanting it so much that you can't take it. That's when I get what I want.

When I fucking say this is what I want and I'm going to get it and it just makes that shit happen. And then there's like the opening happens where I can make that conversation or I bump into them on the street. Like I can't tell you how many times that has happened. you right now are like very closed off to it because you're like afraid also don't want to like cross any employee customer boundaries of well we're not supposed to date customers or something like that oh god first of all customers are allowed to fuck other customers

is that what you're trying to say you think that that's a that's a rule that you're not allowed to that the employees aren't allowed to you're not an employee oh she's oh she's the point oh please I mean please okay people you know the president fuck the intern okay like of this country

I mean I don't live in those rules I don't listen I love rules okay I have rules at the movie theater that I impose on myself I impose a lot of rules of myself I actually love rules they're fun but I got to tell you I don't believe in those stupid bullshit rules okay if you like somebody

you like them I don't get date people at work you know shit like that happens all the time please it's so dumb like who cares about that do they teach you that in the military? And let me tell you, I had a guy in the military on my phone and he was fucking people in the porta-potties. So nobody listens to rules. Okay, like I don't forget about the rules at the gym. Like, it's so, that stuff is so dumb.

So many people wouldn't be married. So many people wouldn't be born if people didn't, you know, fuck people that they meet in these kind of places. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't live by that kind of stuff in these, in this situation. So forget about that. So when I approach her, should I introduce myself breaking the eye, so to speak, should I let her know right away that I'm attracted to her or just keeping it casual? No, not right away.

Definitely not. Keep it casual. Start to, like, the gym is like a place where you start to become friends with somebody. I mean, listen, actually, like, the guys that I hook up with the gym, like, they would ask for my number, like, maybe three times after we started talking. but that's because it's very obvious. There's chemistry. You know what I mean?

You have to feel that situation out. You'll know more how to play it when you actually get in a conversation with her. Do you know what I mean? It could go different ways. You don't know. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, so you have to, she might be closed off.

Some people are kind of like, I go to the gym and I'm in a different, very, at different points in my life, I feel very differently when I'm there. There are times where I get that there's a lot of guys swirling around me that would, die to talk to me, but I, with my energy, could be like,

don't you even bother. Do you know what I mean? And I could, if I'm dating somebody else or I'm just not open to meeting anybody, I could keep people at bay just with my vibe, right? If I decide, oh, I really want to meet somebody, I change my vibe and I let that guy know it's cool if you come over and talk to me and then they do, and then, you know, you get a little

rapport going on. So you guys are ready. The fact that she's smiling at you, I would never do that when I'm in my zone where I don't want to talk to anybody. The fact that does is a good sign. She could just be friendly. You don't really know. There's no definites here yet. But you should just start with a hello. Like, hey, what's that? Hi, like next time. You know what I mean? And then eventually ask her question. Make up some stupid reason to talk to her. Seriously, you have to do that stupid shit sometimes to break the ice. And that'll be really

uncomfortable at first. But if she's into you too, she won't care. You know what I mean? She'll be happy that that happened. And then you break the ice. And then you start talking. to her and then so every time you go to the gym you kind of talk and then you could say so are you dating anyone or are you single you know start like like that kind of thing you know I don't think you could treat it like a bar situation and just go right in and be like hey

I want to go out with you do you understand yes you just got to be something makes me really nervous I know that's like so bad it's like ridiculous so you're taking taekwondo

you should go get you should go take man up lessons at the gym You need to work on that muscle, dude. Okay, listen, you need to go. Are you like a pursuer type of guy? Yeah, because I really enjoy the thrill of the chase. I really do. Mm-hmm.

I know the gym with the fluorescent lights. It's the fluorescent lights. It's like, it's like... Well, I think it's more the fact that I seem to really have an... Like, I'm just out looking for a quick one-night good time. Oh, right. It's built up. I'm really liking her hoping something will turn out from this and I'm making it.

I'm really nervous about it because I don't want to screw up. Okay, that totally makes sense. Like you're really invested in it because this is like the first girl in a long time that you're like, ooh, she stands out to you. And that's hard to find. You know what I mean? You could see a million pretty girls, but they won't like sort of have that pull for you, right? Yes.

This girl's got it. So you got to be tactical. But I believe that's there for a reason. And most likely she's going to be interested in you too. you just have to go there. And as uncomfortable as it is, you have to break the ice and just start wrapping with her regularly and make it be cool at first. Wait a little bit before you ask her.

But don't wait too long. Grace period, because we only see each other every Wednesday for about an hour. No. What I mean is too long is once you say hello and you start talking to her, don't let the friendship without the, you know, asking out on a date go for too long. because at a certain point. So what is that grace period once we start talking? Should I wait a couple of days after?

Uh-huh. I would wait two. A week later. Yeah, a week later. I mean, I don't have patience when I like a guy. The guy that I picked up at the gym, after I started talking to him and I gave him the green light, like, I'm into you. You know what I mean?

I let him know in a lot of ways. And he said, and he hadn't asked for my number yet. And it was like, I would say two times. It was only two times after we started talking. He hadn't asked for my number yet. And I was so pissed because I was like, why hasn't he, like, made a move? It's so obvious I'm into him. It's obvious he's into me.

And I was going away. And I knew I was going away. And I'm like, this fucker is going to be, he's going to get what he deserves. He's going to think I disappeared into thin air because I'm not going to show up at the gym for like a week. Right. And when you go to the gym all the time, you know you're going to see people, right? And I was like a three, four time a week gym person. So he knew he was going to see me and he was taking it for granted and taking his fucking time.

So after I disappeared for a week and I came back, that. that guy came right up to me and went in for the kill because it taught him a lesson. Like you better, you know what I'm saying? He was so freaked out. He thought he had all the time in the world. And I was like, oh, fuck him. I'm not even going to let him know I'm going away. I'm just going to disappear for a week.

And then when I come back, he'll probably ask me out. And that's exactly what happened. So you can't take too much time because, you know, people want that stuff to happen if you're like, like somebody. So two times after you start talking to her, you could say so. You don't have to be flirtatious. You know, are you dating anybody? Like, you know, and then you could say to you have, I have a guy at my gym who recently, like, was kind of chatting me up.

And I don't even know if he was trying to pick me up, but he brought up restaurants. And I'm a foodie. And he started to say things like, oh, you should go here or you should go there. And, you know, that kind of leaves room open for somebody to say, do you want to go together or you could, you know what I mean? So talk about something maybe sometimes, like, in that situation, it could work. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You got game, okay?

You have game. It's just a matter of breaking the ice because you feel a little weirded out. because you're at the gym and you really like her and you don't want to fuck it up because A, you have to see her and B, then you go back to zero and you're like, shit, what am I going to meet another girl that I kind of really like? Yeah, definitely.

Right? I don't know who like. I know. Women don't realize, I try to explain to my women friends that, like men have a, like, because men have to be the pursuers most of the time, you know? I mean, of course there's aggressive women, but most of the time the man has to do all the pursuing

and stuff, and a lot of times my girlfriends will complain because the guy's not pursuing are hardcore or look at me I'm complaining because the guys aren't asked my number after he talked to me twice you know but I think you know like women have to give guys a break because it's a lot of pressure and guys have a fear of rejection as much as anybody you know what I mean um and that sometimes takes time but you just got a fucking man up and do it you really do because you know because isn't it annoying not too like I don't know like I know I don't really have much patience when I decide okay that's the next person I want to be

with I just make that happen but I'm a very aggressive person you know I'm sure like you I think you said like you're normally aggressive and you like to chase but it's at the gym and it's a little and you're really and you know you're building it up in your mind because you're seeing her all the time how long have you ever had like a crush on her for

I call it like my gym crush like you have a gym crush how long have you had that for oh man it's been going on since early in December October? Okay, well let me just tell you something. I went on a week long... Okay, but listen, I went on a week long vacation from my gym, okay? And I knew I was coming back.

That bitch may just disappear one day, never to come back again. Trainers come and go. So, you know, I think that's what you need to realize. And that's what's going to light the fire under your ass is that if you don't man up soon, you may lose the opportunity because she just may disappear from that gym. Do you understand? Seriously. I've seen trainers come and go.

I had one Jim Crush that I really liked. I think he was way too young for me, so it was good that nothing ever happened. But he just disappeared into thin air one day, and I never saw him again. And I was devastated that I never made that shit happen with him. So, yeah, she could disappear. And now I'm going to work that angle with you

because you really need to move on this. Yeah, did you never thought of that? My biggest thing was being shot down for her. Yeah, well, isn't it worse if you lose her forever and never know? isn't it better to like take the chance and try then to never have gotten the chance that's way worse. Because at least if she's there, you have a 50-50 chance. If she leaves, you have zero chance.

Do you understand zero? So you better have it happen. These trainers come and go. She could disappear in thin air before you know it and she'll never come back. You have you guys have nothing going on between you. She's not going to, you're not going to get the memo. Yeah, so just starts, just next time say hello to her and start talking to her and just be like, hey, are you, hey, are you a trainer here? You know, why don't you take, because you can't really hire her?

That's so cheesy. But like, ask her if she's a trainer. How long have she been working? You've been seeing her around. How long have you been seeing her around? Since I started going to the gym, she caught my eye right away because I'm there every Wednesday and that's when I see her and she's tough. She's definitely motivation that I definitely look forward to going to gym every one. my face to see her.

I love the gym crush for that exact reason. When you like a guy at the gym or you're working out with someone that you like at the gym, you're getting very good shape. It's always the, like rain, sleet or snow, you go to the gym on Wednesdays, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, it's really good. And that's good for you too because you stay in shape.

You're doing something positive. But when you have that motivating force like someone that you like at the gym, I think it's great. I'm all for it. No rules, no regulations. Who cares about the gossip? When I screwed that one guy, the one I got for a year, it was so scandalous because he was so much younger than me. He looked like he was 48, okay, and he was 25. I swear to you, I showed my friend a picture of him the other day, and she's like, you got to be kidding me, he looks like he's 80.

He looked like an old man. I mean, in a good way, but he was really young, but he was like really, really tall and manly looking, and he turned out really young. And then it turned out that like he had told all the trainers what went on with me and him. And like, you know what? I don't know. I don't really, I didn't really care. Because first of all, nothing bad happened. So he's just bragging about everything that's good.

So do I care if they know that we had great sex? Like, not really. We're all adults. Do you know what I mean? The only time something like that becomes a problem is if like you fooled around with someone and you like couldn't get it up or like something really horrible happened and that gets around. But, you know, that's not going to be the case. So what's the gossip? You know what I mean?

If you guys date, it's that you guys are having sex. Who cares? taste in my mouth from a reputation that happened from something like that. I guess it's just left that lingering thought. It just would hate something like that to happen again. What was a bad reputation? I was in my younger years. I was promiscuous.

I didn't like to be tied down. I enjoyed my youth. And a friend of mine, we were out in the common areas at school, and he just out, burdenly put out there, hey, this guy's having sex like seven times a day. And I was like, man, he was exaggerating. But, I mean, it wasn't that many times, but it was at least three or four times a day. Where do you live that this is a problem? I mean, it's like I feel like I'm talking to a girl.

That is like, first of all, that friend was very jealous of you, okay? What guy would have wanted to be screwed? Well, he started spreading all of that. And then all of a sudden that, you know, I had this reputation of being a mad horse. So automatically when I approach a girl and I'm trying to talk to her, she's like, oh, yeah, I've heard of that. She's like, really? What have you heard of this? She's telling me this, and I'm like, so there's no chance that was a day, and she's like, well, I already have you wanted one thing.

And I'm like, well, yeah, but let me ask you the truth. I want, but I mean, come on. Come on, Kaiser, Soz. I bet you you still got tail, because you know what the truth is. Girls will be attracted to that anyway. They're going to say that they're not, but there still are. Well, of course I did. I enjoyed my youth.

See? Oh, I enjoyed it all. But you need to realize. But the reputation was horrible. No, it wasn't. probably got you late a lot more than you actually realized. But nobody would take me seriously because they all would just, oh, you're just a one-nighter or a fling. You're nothing serious.

And I'm like, I mean, come on. I could be boyfriend material if you would just give me a chance, but it just happens. Right now I'm not wanting to be a boyfriend. Well, that doesn't, that's not because of your reputation. That's because you didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend. You kind of were the whore. You were the whore. No, they do know it.

People could smell that from a while away. Kaiser says that you're so ridiculous. You were the horror that your friend spread around and talked about. You didn't want a relationship with anyone yet. You were mad that these girls weren't taking you seriously. You sound like a dumb girl, okay? You're so ridiculous. You sound like a stripper.

Okay? You got a lot of ass from that rumor. You got tons of girls, and you know what your friend did? He just advertised the goods in a proper way. You didn't have to deal with it. Like, girls went in knowing that you didn't want a relationship, and you didn't want one anyway. So, you know, you probably, they probably left better than if you were the type of guy that pretended to be a nice guy and dated them and fuck them and you were a player and then, you know, did a, you know, it's like a bait and switch.

There was no bait and switch with you. The girls knew exactly what they were getting. So you probably still are friends with some of those girls you fucked. If it happened the other way around, it wouldn't have been. So forget about the bad rumor when you were younger. That wasn't a bad rumor. It was a great rumor. Okay?

You just have it framed in your head the wrong way. Okay. So there's not going to be any room. He wants to be called a whore. Oh, my God. No girl wants to be called a whore, but a man, for her man, it's completely acceptable. Are you kidding? It's acceptable to be called a whore.

Totally, totally, absolutely. It's acceptable. I would think more a ladies man would be something more irrespectable to be called, but a whore, I mean. Oh, my God, a ladies man is no different than a whore. He's just more manipulative, okay? A ladies man. A nice guy is the only thing that you want, that is the opposite of that, okay?

And nobody kind of wants to date a nice guy. So trust me, in your younger age, to be called a man whore is a great thing to be as a man. And we all know that, okay? That's why you've gotten all the tail out of your system and you're ready for a relationship because you were a whore. And that's not a bad thing for a man to be.

It's not. Girls didn't shy away from you even though they knew that. So forget about it. No one's going to call you a whore at the gym if you hit on a girl that you think is cute. That won't be the rumor. That rumor can't happen. You're not screwing every girl. You're not telling me you're interested in 18 girls at the gym.

It's one girl. You're going to ask grad it. It's a completely different situation. You can't even make a connection between the two. And like I said, you need to just go and man up at the gym and do it. I don't know how we got from like you just wanting to go down on girls. I feel like I'm talking to a totally different person all of a sudden. Because now you're just like this regular guy with.

the regular problem, you know, and then you have this other thing, you know, that you'll have to tackle with that girl afterwards, but you need to tackle first. Yeah, this big icebergs floats in the picture of, hey, by the way. I only want to go down on you. It still seems like not that big of a problem, but, you know, listen, you have to. You think it gives me nice dinner, you'd be dessert and we can both go all happy? Yeah, but no, like, well, we've talked about the girls need their ego fed too. They need to get somebody turned on.

So listen, my advice, you have to just do it. And what you need to motivate you is the fact that she could disappear at any time and you'll never get the chance of you. It's now or never. Give yourself a time period because she's going to be gone from the gym before you know it. You're going to lose the opportunity. And, you know, listen, we don't all just meet people that we have that thing with all the time. It's not easy to find.

You know what I mean? I don't think, right? Yeah. It's not. So this girl stands out to you. There's something about her. So you need to go figure out. what it is.

Okay? I will. This was an update show, but it turned into like maybe a full podcast because I feel like I had to give you new advice because you have a new issue, which was an interesting issue because I love Jim Crush's. I think it's a great place to pick people up. And hopefully you guys date and then you guys could work out together and you could get some free training sessions.

But keep me posted. Definitely. All right. And let me know. Good luck with her. All right. Give your next two times say hello. Okay.

We'll do. Okay. Bye Kaiser, Jose. Good luck. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback

and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories. taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so

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