Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 066 - Ken is a Virtual Cheater

Episode Date: March 23, 2015

Ken has been married for 25 years and throughout his marraige he has had multiple online "relationships" but has never really cheated in real life. How has he managed to keep his cheating virtual? Where does he find the women to webcam with and what do they send each other via email? Has his wife ever caught him? Tune in to hear the answers plus hear Kathy and Ken talk about addiction, cheating, marraige, how to write a book and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Morrow of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and chain. Here are your hosts. Kathy Kay and Tommy.

Hey, welcome, Striganonymous podcast. It's Kathy. If you want to follow me on Twitter or the show on Twitter, you can follow us at Strict Anonymous or at Cartoon Therapy. That's my own private Twitter. I tweet out of there more than the Strict Anonymous one. I'm bad at social media. I think it's because I'm not 25.

If you want to write a review for my show, that'd be really great, too. I love reviews. I don't pimped that out enough or try to make people do that or talk about that too much. Or maybe I do. I don't know. But I need reviews because it helps me get up in the rankings or whatever. I don't know. Anyway, so write a review, subscribe to my podcast, keep listening.

Write into me if you have some opinions about the show. I love to get emails from listeners, the email of the show or my email because I respond to all emails that I get is strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. and if you want to be on the show and you have a problem or just like a secret life that you want to talk about or something interesting or you'd do something interesting and you think you'd be an interesting guest, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com and I'll have you on our next show. On this show, I've taped a bunch of episodes, so I'm doing all of my intros after depending on it's like kind of confusing at which one I should air. We're going to air a guy who wrote in and we just started chatting via email. I think I counted the email exchanges back and forth and was like 37 emails. I typically like to know nothing about my guess. He kept trying, you know, before I speak with him, he kept trying to ask me a lot of questions. Um, he was a guy who

saw my Craigslist ad. Uh, and I taped him so long ago. I don't remember a lot of what we talked about, but what I do know is the just was that, you know, he's sort of a guy that's kind of faithful, but he teeters on doing illicit things behind his girl's back, but they're very like appropriate and within like a boundary of like not cheating if that's possible it's not like that guy craigslist phil who thinks he wasn't cheating and he's like fingering and doing all kinds of crazy things this guy like i don't think he really is that bad but he does a lot of things online and he engages with women and he's been married for a really long time and that's what we discussed and we discuss a lot of other you know sort of general things because he's a very inquisitive type of guy too i mean that's what

why what we were emailing back and forth about is he was really interested in doing a podcast himself and He wanted to ask me a lot of questions, and I'm just like, let's just talk about this shit on the podcast. And that's what we talk about. So it's an interesting show. I forget what I call him, maybe Kevin. I think I call him Kevin. If not, you know, whatever. What does it matter?

The reason why I make people make up names is because I don't think like that kind of shit really is important. I never have retained names of people. That's kind of not the kind of stuff I remember. I remember everything else about a person. I remember everything they told me stuff about their life. The important stuff, I don't think a name is really that important. Some people actually do believe a name is very important. I personally don't.

I mean, you didn't even have, you didn't even name yourself. Like, it's like your name isn't even your own sort of choice. But anyway, so that's that. So I have Kevin on the show coming up. So stay tuned. I'll be right back with Kevin. I think that's his name. Okay, bye.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hi, this is Kathy?

Is this Ken? Hi, Ken. Yep, Ken. Hi, Kathy. You know, you've been emailing me from an email that says key holding. And the whole time I've been looking at it, I've been reading Ken holding because I'm dyslexic. even though there's no N in there. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was looking through your email just to sort of get an idea of what we were going to talk about. And I counted how many emails we had together. We had 33 emails back and forth. Just so you know. Yeah, that's the most emails I've had with anyone. And we've discussed a lot of different things. But, you know, what I get from the emails is you're like a married dude.

You obviously found me on Craigslist. So you do some sort of business on Craigslist yourself, right on the side. I know that you said that you're married. You've had emails in the past with women and you've gotten caught by your wife, right? You've also done the webcam thing with women and that was like a thing. But you stopped that so you wouldn't get caught, right? How long you've been married before? Yeah, I did that before.

It'll be 25 years in October. 25 years, right. And so you just go on to Craigslist to have like these sort of elicit, like, email affairs or anything? Have you ever had real affairs in life or like what's the deal? Well, yeah, elicit email appeals are probably more like it. I don't meet anybody. I just kind of enjoy the bantering back and forth and the possibilities. I did stray back in 2001, 2002, somewhere around there.

I met her through. through Yahoo I-M's going back and forth for about a month or so. Come to find out she was a stripper, and I went down to see her strip, and one thing led to another, we got a hotel room, and that was it, really, just a one-time thing. I mean, we kept going back and forth,

and she ended up getting engaged, and she said once she got engaged, that was it, and I respected that, and so that was your... really between us. So in the 25 years, you've only really cheated on your wife that one time? Yeah. That's pretty great.

I mean, listen, I think, you know, if the way that you keep your sort of, you know, your feelings for other women, because I know that, you know, we talk about monogamy and that kind of stuff on this podcast all the time because I'm fascinated with it because I think it's like kind of like a hard thing, especially for guys and sometimes it's, like, not really that realistic. And I don't know how a man could keep faithful for that. long, right? But, you know, maybe that whole email thing that you do and everything is, like, enough to sort of get that part of you out, right, and get it satisfied so you could stay faithful.

Do you think that that helps a lot? Yeah, I think that helps a lot. You know, it is. You're right. It's difficult, especially when, you know, you see all types of women in all types of dress. They converse with you. Even when I'm at a bar or something like that, and I start talking to a woman, you know, they'll really tell me everything, you know, and it's pretty erotic and it's pretty exciting when they start telling me about, you know, this sex life and how many times a week they're not masturbated. Okay, but how, right, right, but when you say you go to just a random bar, I mean, listen, every guy would love to be sitting across from a woman and have them tell them, like, all their sexual stuff and with them masturbating and stuff, but I don't think that happens to regular

guys that often. Like, how do you get girls to tell you that stuff? Like, how does that happen? No, no, no, it just, it just happens. It doesn't happen all the time, you know, I'm not an extrovert by any nature, but I'm an open kind of guy. And if I'm with another friend of mine or so and we're just at a bar or something, we see somebody that might be interested in just talking to, so we might strike up in conversation. And it seems that women are more than eager to tell people all about their sex life, you know, more so than guys.

You know, guys are pretty quiet. They're not going to say anything even in the gym or even if you hang out with your buddies or something. They're not going to talk to you about having sex two of their wives. They don't really talk about anything, guys. Not really, no. We don't really talk much. No. Let's say if we, you know, you and I are sitting at a bar and we happen to strike up a conversation, we talk about everything, and then it turns to sex, and I'm sure you're going to be the same way.

It's going to be pretty open. You seem like an open person. You're going to be just telling that like it is, and I would, too, you know, so. Uh-huh. And alcohol always helps that situation, right? Because maybe some of those women wouldn't be so, you know, open if they weren't a little slightly buzzed or totally loaded. I don't know. I don't drink.

I haven't drank in like 11 or 12 years. I don't even. I can't even have like lost count at this point. I would probably be open with a total stranger if I felt like he wasn't being sleazy about it. And it wasn't like him trying to get down my pants, but wanting to just have an intelligent conversation about sex. Because, I mean, that's what I do on my show. I happen to love talking about sex. I think it's interesting.

I think it's kind of funny. I think it's, and you know, and I could have that kind of conversation with somebody about that. If I felt like I was in a bar though when some guy was like trying to get me to talk about it in like a dirty way or a way that it would kind of lead to something that probably would be something

that I wouldn't be into. But I'm assuming since you're not bringing these women home, right? Because you've never treated it on your girl. You're just a naturally curious person. And I could tell that because of out of those 33 emails, you tried to get me in conversation a lot of the time. Like, you just wanted to get to know me. You asked me a lot of questions, and I was like, let's leave it for the podcast, you know,

because I like to have my conversations with people as total strangers on my show and on the call, because, like, to me, you never know what you're going to get, you know, if we have, like, an amazing conversation via email, like, I've missed that on my call. You know, I mean, that's the kind of stuff I want to capture on tape so I could air it as an episode. But, yeah, you just seem like a naturally curious person. Yeah, I guess you could say that. I mean, I enjoy, you know, I enjoy it. You know, just look it off I can say.

You know, you're right. I cheated on my wife once, and it wasn't in a course, you know. Oh, you didn't even have sex with her, full-on sex with her? No, no, we really didn't have a lot of time, so it was just really oral. And, you know, we figured, oh, at some point we'll get to that part, but we, you know, we didn't have a lot of time, and we're kind of doing it, you know, behind the scenes, and, you know, it's. It just never got to that other point. Right.

As Bill Cotton says, maybe I didn't cheat, right? No, I think that that's cheating. Listen, I'm sure you're... No, that's totally cheating. But listen, like I said, I don't really think in the scheme of thing, or like, if there's a scale of, like, cheaters, and I think that there's different kinds of cheating and different scales of it, right?

You know, and there's, like, some... Like, the worst kind of cheating to me is, like, these guys, like, to me, they're, like, the Tiger Woods of cheating. You know, they're, like, not only just fun, other people, they're having massive text messages, you know, they're really having like relationships, you know, and it's consuming all their time. That's very different than the cheater that maybe like once in a blue moon, you know, on a business trip gets wasted and fuck somebody that they never talk to again. You know, there's, to me, there's different degrees of cheating. Your degree is not

really that bad, considering 25 years one time with a stripper and, you know, you probably could have fucked her a lot of other times, but it just never worked. Right? Right. Yeah, no, absolutely. And the thing on the bar, you know, the bar scene when you're talking to women, I'm not looking over there to pick somebody up and bring them home at all. I'm just looking for a good conversation. Right. And if it turns to sex, hey, it's great, you know. And I'm not the creepy-looking type of guy or not sitting there, you know,

drooling over somebody and, you know, trying to, you know, buying drinks and trying to get them drunk so they can, you know, maybe cop a feel or anything like that. But, you know, it's just really, like I said, it's conversation. You know, the woman that I've met and I've talked to, they're really not here. But they're not out there drunk. They might be sitting with a girlfriend and the girlfriend chimes in. I'm hanging out with a friend of mine and he chimes in. Well, this is what I think, Ken.

I think this, and it's very similar to me. I know that you said in the emails back and forth with me, you've always wanted your podcast yourself or like a show yourself where you talk to people. You're probably wired similar to me in that you're a people person and you like to sort of, like, you know, get in there and learn about people. I think that people could smell intention from a mile away. And if you're not like, I'm not a judgmental person at all. So all my life, people have always told me stuff about themselves and been very open.

And I think it's because they know that when I'm questioning them, you know, I question them because I'm just really curious. You know, I just like to learn about people. And I'm never questioning someone to find out something that I could like sort of pin on them or judge them. But I think a lot of other people, though, ask that questions in that way. And that's why people become pretty closed off. And I think people don't even realize that they know where someone's coming from.

But on a certain level, I think people do. So if you walk in a bar and I could tell you're sort of like me where you're just like asking questions because you're curious, you're not judgmental, you're not a sleeves bag. It's not because you're looking, you know, you have an angle and an end goal of banging that girl. I think on some level she picks that up without even realizing it. And that's why she feels comfortable to open up to you. That's why people feel comfortable always to open up to me too because I come from that place, you know? Right.

Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. But how did you get into the whole webcam thing? Like, how do you get, like, I mean, I know, because I get guys calling all the time, and they're on Craigslist looking for women to do business with them, and they can't make that shit happen because I don't think that there's many women on Craigslist. But where do you find the women that you're going to be, like, that you're webcaming with and stuff? Like, how did that happen?

Here's how it all started. Here's how it all started. Yeah, who has that I-M thing. So somehow I found it, and I found it. they have these different chat rooms. So I ended up going into a chat room that was, you know, that was, there's a ton of different ones, and this one happened to be about, you know, sex. So I happen to stroll in, and I'm watching all the conversations,

and, you know, as time grew on, I jump in on the conversations, and I stopped discussing with people, you know, just various things. And then I realized that some of these women, men, had cams going. So I cooked on the can, and there'd be a woman that would be naked. You know, she'd be touching herself. So I'm thinking, geez, you know, what did I just walk into here? Right. So, you know, one thing led to another.

I got one myself, you know. And so then I started canon back and forth with women that happened to be in these rooms. And, you know, and then, you know, so now I've got, you know, here I am. I'm sitting in my office. I'm naked as a jade. Oh, you would do this out work? Yeah, we'd do it or work.

I mean, I only worked about 10 minutes away from the house, and I'm always working, it seems, you know, unfortunately. Right. But it was a good release for me, you know, kind of release my stress, and I'd be watching them. They'd be watching me, and that's how it kind of started, you know. And sometimes the woman would actually call and talk to me as with canon back and forth to make it a little bit more real.

that was pretty exciting to me. Right, like full on phone sex. Yeah, right. I mean, there was some women that would be turned off by my body, but, you know, most of the women weren't. And that kind of was an ego boosted to me. Uh-huh. Being a little bit older than some of these women that would cammen back and forth, you know.

Right, let me ask you this, Ken, because I ask everybody, like on the scale, because I never want to see anybody that I talk to, and I like to keep everything totally anonymous. But what would you rate yourself on a scale of one to ten? for looks or for body the whole package and then I'll get more specific I would say

you know and I'm not black but I'd say probably about an eight an eight and so why do you say how old are you and how old's your wife by the way my wife is 54 and I'm now going to be 57

okay and why do you say like you feel like they might be turned off by your body but when they're not it's a total turn on what's the deal with your body well some people someone might not like a hairy chest Some women might like, you know, you're trimmed or your manscaping. Right, right.

Okay, so you mean like that, right. Yeah, I mean, I always do, but some women don't like that, you know. And some women might like, you know, a large penis. Some might like, you know, average penis, who knows, you know. Totally. That's when I say, hey, some people might like the body, some people might not, you know. And if I'm sending them a picture of me, I'm hoping that they're responding in a positive way. It's a turnoff.

Right. When they do, because you know it's like personal. You feel like, oh, this person really at that moment in time is really getting off on me. So it makes it like the real deal. It's not like you're with like a, you know, you're paying for service and they're just like trying. You know what I mean? Going with it. It's more real, which I think is better, right?

Because, you know, when you feel like someone's just doing, you know, going through the motions. It's better for me. Yeah. because there's somewhat of a quote-unquote connection there, you know, at least, oh, gee, she likes me, she's interested. Yeah, she's horny for me at that time. Like, you're both in that same zone where you're just, like, sort of, like, you know, trying to get off. And, you know, you're both connecting each other. You never met anyone on the cam in person, though, right?

It never took it. You never took that further. And how did you, and you stopped because you didn't want to get caught, right? Was it around the time that you, was that, did you get caught? For the most part, yeah. How did you get caught with the email? else? You know, sometimes you'd be taking a picture on your phone, and then you're submitting,

you're sending the email to, you're sending you via email, and she just happened to pick up my phone, and there it was, you know. Your wife? Right. Oh, my God. You know, you didn't cover your tracks, I guess, you know. Are you right? But how many times did she catch you, and what did she do?

Well, the first time she caught me, like, she caught me twice. The first time she caught me, she was really disappointed. I told her I never do it again. The second time she caught me was about a year and a half later. And she got pretty upset. And, you know, she wanted me to go see a sex therapist, which I did for a while. And it, you know, and that helped. But, you know, it's just something, like I said, it's something that I enjoy.

And I don't think it's cheating. She thinks it's cheating, and it probably is cheating, you know, in her eyes. But how could you not, after 25? years. I think you get a pass after you're like above 20 years. I mean, come on. I mean, I know that people would be horrified by me saying that. I don't know that I would ever expect

the man that I love to be faithful to me for 25 years. And I got to say, if like, if all he was doing was like, you know what mean, and there was that boundary and I trusted that he would keep that boundary, I think maybe that would be okay. Like, I don't think that that's that bad. You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, if it were more women like you, I think there would be a lot less divorces. Yeah, but I'm not in that situation. So would I really be that way? I still don't know. I've never had that long of a relationship, right? In my fantasy, like, I always talk about this a lot.

Like, I wish I was born 500 years from now because I think things will be a lot different for women. I think cheating and the whole thing with men cheating is, you know, it's worse for women than it is for men because men are going to cheat and do what they want because it is kind of easy to cheat and get away with it. You know, it's not that difficult of a thing. and guys are going to do it whether it's right or wrong. And women, we have these unrealistic expectations

that men are sort of wired like us and they get to be faithful and, you know, and it's just not the case. You know, variety is a big thing for guys. It's not that way for women so much, you know? Yeah. Well, but the same with women, though. Women can cheat anytime they want, too.

Oh, totally. And women do. Women do cheat. And they cheat for different reasons, but some of them that just cheat because they're just fucking horny, you know. But I just think that with men are just in nature, wire differently, you know, than women as a whole. You're always going to get people that are a little

bit on a different end of the spectrum. But, you know, and so I think it's unrealistic and it's hard, and so many marriages get fucked up because some guy is just doing some sort of sexual thing on the side, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't still want to get all that other stuff from his woman at home, you know? And I just think it's a weird concept that we sort of set up this whole marriage with monogamy. But if you're born into a society where that shoved inside your head since a little kid, you know, it's hard to think otherwise. You know, I always talk about how I wish polygamy was just like out and about and okay. But, I mean, it couldn't start now at my age and I could, you know, because I've already been,

I've already been sort of, you know, I've already bought into a whole different concept, you know. But if you, if that's what you believe since birth and that's just the way shit is, you know, everyone would be fine with it. Yeah, no, hey, look, I'd give a, I'd give anything if she was a little bit more wired like I am, you know, But she's not. She's a woman. You know what I mean? No, not at all.

I mean, we have a great sex life when we have sex, you know. And how often, at 25 years, do you have sex? Well, we probably have it maybe once a week, once every 10 days now, which is a lot more than some of my friends, I'll tell you. Right, right. But, you know, she was lying a little bit more than me. I mean, a little bit like me, you know, maybe sending a couple of little text messages with a little picture on it here and there

or something that that excites me or she decided you know what she wanted to be uh i've always wanted to do a threesome but i've never had the chance to do it but you know we've discussed it and she said no and i have to live with it you know what am i going to do right you wanted her to be with another woman or another man um either or it doesn't end to me i mean a feats i would have i would rather be a two woman for me but if she would rather have a threesome with two guys i i you know i would do that and you know i told her i says we'll leave it's sex i mean i would have i would have sex i would have Sex is sex. It's not love.

It's not like we're going to fall in love with somebody. We have to set rules. Right. But if she's uncomfortable with that, I'm not going to force you into something like that. It's just, you know. Right. And she's not into it at all. I mean, at this point.

He wouldn't do that. And not even going somewhere where you could have, you know, suction in the same room with somebody. You know, she's not into that either. Well, listen, at least you've been able to have that conversation with her and, you know, talk about it, you know, and you've tried, you know. But she's just just not at that place. Yeah, she's never going to do that.

But you still have a good sex life. I think that's great. Yeah. Like when you do have sex? Yeah. Like I said, I'm pretty open. And if she says, no, I don't want to disappoint her. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to get a divorce.

Do you guys have children? Yeah, three children, high school age and college age. Yeah, I think sometimes, like I always imagine that when you get a to double-digit years with somebody and you know that like you're in it you know for the long haul you know and at this point i'm sure i mean what would be the point of you guys separating after 25 you know like you're you know you're you're going to stay with each other right like what is really the big deal if you do this or that and that's probably why i'm like i'm glad she didn't like divorce you because you know um yeah because it's i mean it is devastating for a woman i'm sure for that to

happen because she, I think the fear for her probably is that you wouldn't be able to keep a boundary in that situation and you would eventually fuck these people or whatever, you know? I wonder if she knew for a fact you wouldn't go past a certain point whether she would really care.

Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. I told her once before that I would never stray. You know, I would never have sex with anybody else, but I would really like her to join with me and another girl or or if she wanted another guy, we would do that too.

And like I said, she just said, no. And I said, okay, you know, I brought it up a couple of times over the last probably 15 years or so. But, you know, it's no and no it is. No is no. Yeah. I mean, I think if, like, I think I've had some friends who have brought in third party into, like, their relationship. But, and it's gone awry afterwards. But that's because they were only dating for a couple of years.

I think after you've been with each other for many, many, many years. I feel like you can do something like. that and even if it doesn't wind up being ideal or it's not really right I think your relationship could survive it because you have such a strong enough foundation after you know 10 20 years of being with the same person I would hope you know yeah I would think so but not your girl no I know that's what I'm saying yeah how do you keep your emails away from her now like you still do this email thing and you're still on Craigslist like how like how did she learn to trust you I mean she never started like

snooping after that or whatever, like, you know? You know what? She probably has, and she's probably so, thinks of it, you know, deep down maybe he's doing something, but, you know, if I'm emailing, it's really just in the office. I'm not doing anything on my phone anymore. So, you know, I'm not really sending any pictures. And I say really, I think maybe over the last two years, I might have sent one person

a picture of me, what I look like. That's not bad. Yeah, but that's not right. You know, it's really crittailed. And, you know, so does she still worry about it? Oh, yeah, I'm sure she does. Is she snooping around? Yeah, maybe, but there's nothing there.

That's cool. And you don't think that your work sees this shit that you're sending out? You do it on work email or on a work computer? Yeah, I work for myself, so. Oh, that's good. You know. Right. But, yeah, you know, you're always set that.

you know, that thought that somebody could see something at some point and then the House of Cod's fault, you know, so. Right. That's why you stopped the cam thing. Is that when you, when you said you went to the sex therapist, did that help you stop the cam thing because you were like into it? Yeah. Well, I had stopped it a while ago because I had left that job where I was at and I just felt,

you know, I want to have another opportunity. So I get rid of the cam. It served its purpose. It was exciting. I liked it. I wish I could do it again, but it's kind of like an alcoholic. You want that drink, you know, and you know that you can't because if you do, then you're going to get, you know.

It's just so good, you're not going to be able to, like, walk away, right? Yeah, I am that alcoholic, and that's why I don't. I'm an addict for sure. Like, I like to take things to the, you know, to the end, you know what I'm saying? So I know there's certain things that, like, I smoked weed recently, and that's probably not what a, like, some sober people would be like, you can't even do that. But I was like, you know, I haven't done anything in, like, to, like, to, 11 years like I'll smoke weed like whatever you know because I know I won't even like it you know

and I smoked it and it didn't really even have that big of an effect on me the first time but it did give me this kind of like fuck it feeling you know and I thought less and I didn't care as much and I didn't analyze as much you know and it was kind of nice I have to say I hadn't had that kind of a brain in so long because I am an overthinker and I tend to think a lot I'm very in my head you know so to take that edge off was sort of nice for the 24 and it lasted like a little bit like it even lasted the next day and then I went back to being myself and I was like oh you know and it wasn't my weed and I didn't buy anything or so I didn't have it

at my house but I have to say for the next week I in my mind I was like oh like you know thank God I don't have weed in my house because I would you know right now while my mind well yeah I would be like oh I can't stop fucking thinking I should smoke weed you know and like the next day when I'm having an issue with my guy I should smoke a little weed like and it would become

the answer to all my problems which is like I don't like to feel uncomfortable comfortable. And so, and the weed really, like, took away that edge. And that's why I would never, I can't do stuff like that because all of a sudden when, if I see an out like that, I'll take it, you know, and I can't because it's not really healthy. What? Yeah, it might be too much. It might be too much for you. You're right. You can't handle it. Yeah, it's not good. Would it be wild if you were stoned and you had sex while you were stoned? I was wanted to try that. Oh, I used to do that a million times. I was a weed had. Okay. I've been there,

done that everything. So that's why I did it. I thought, oh, like, because back in the day when I smoked weed, like, I would just smoke it and, like, flew around my boyfriend. I mean, I smoked it all through high school. And I was really bad. I got thrown out of, like, three high schools. I couldn't even walk into my house unless I was stoned. I mean, that was my first drug of choice when I was really young. I think I started smoking in eighth grade, and I smoked every single day. I would smoke with my bus driver. It's so fucked up when I think about it. And then I would smoke every day until I'm like 11th grade, and then I quit smoking. weed. And then over the years after that, I would every now and then smoke with boyfriends who I, you know,

because I always got along with like potheads, though I didn't smoke pot. And so I'd smoke with my boyfriends every now and then just to have sex because it would make the sex amazing. But I have to say when I smoked the weed recently with the guy, it didn't really, maybe it was bad weed because it didn't really do anything to me except that take that edge off. But I didn't find anything else to, like, it wasn't like, oh, this is like the best sex ever. And that's why I smoked it because I'm like, I'll just relive out my, you know, younger years and like smoke some weed and have great sex, but it wasn't like that. And then we smoked again, and I have to say it was like it bugged me out.

I never was more stoned. It was like a different batch of pot and it freaked me out and I couldn't take it and I'll never smoke again. I think you need the right weed. Yeah, maybe. Just once. Just once. Yeah, why don't you try that with your wife?

That would be like a fun thing to do with your wife. She won't do that either. She won't, I'm not going to go that. Why not? Okay. You know. You only live what. You need to talk that bitch into doing it because that would be fun to do with your girl,

especially because you've been together for so long. Why not? Smoke a little pot. You have no kids in the house anymore. Eat a little pot brownie or something. I don't know. Then you're going to be stoned for way too long, I think. I've never ate it.

Like I've never had like a pot brownie. But, you know, I think it's fun. I think pot is harmless, whatever. I mean, for me, I don't even really like it. I'm an up person. I mean, for me, my drug of choice, if I could do anything and not have consequences, would be cocaine. Because cocaine just makes you feel up and great and confident and good.

And that's about it. Like, it doesn't make you feel weird or anything, you know? Yeah. Pot could bug you out, you know, if you get the wrong weed. But if you get the right one, it's great. I've had plenty of weed in my lifetime, you know, and not so much in my older years, but not sure. I smoked through college and, you know,

golf trips or something somebody might have some of my pot cake and so I've had that but it doesn't really be much for me anymore but I sure would like to try it when I'm with her and just get naked and see what happens to be honest with you Yeah and nowadays the weed is very different It's much better I think the guy that I smoked the weed

with just had one time he had bad weed The second time he had like bug out weed But I think you could pick and choose exactly what kind of pot you have It's like different nowadays so it probably be better But yeah you have to talk her into it because I think that that would be like a lot of fun. I think that you want to do that with somebody that you're close with, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, good point.

I'll keep working on that. Yeah, why not? You know, I mean, like, does she drink? Do you guys drink a little bit together? Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, we drink. And the sex with us isn't routine, you know, we might. How do you keep your sex good after 25 years? That's a good question.

I don't know. I'm very, my mind is very, it wanders a lot. So I might have different scenarios or I might, you know, I might have her, you know, sitting in a chair and, you know, we do it on the chair or we sit on the couch and, you know, or a blindfold or something like that. Try to try to spice it up here and there, you know. And she's, for the most part, she's, you know, she's receptive.

Uh-huh. But, you know, she does draw lines like we just spoke about. But for the most part, she's receptive, and she knows that it brings joy to me, and she is the recipient of that joy, to be honest with yourself. Right. So we try different things. You know, she doesn't, you know, she doesn't, you know, she might text me some naughty thoughts or something like that, but, you know, and then when you get home and, you know, hopefully nobody's home, great if they are.

and we try to wait until after they go to bed or something. Sometimes that ends up with women, bed before they are, so it's when we pass out, you know. Right. But, you know, we do the best we can. We try, you know, make each other look nice for each other, and we're not walking around and sweatpants and flip us all the time. Right. Even though you've been together for 20-something years, you haven't sort of let it go. I once had a guy on a podcast.

I never aired it. It was very early on. And he was, it was like his wife after the kids was like just walking around. Like he said with a sweat fan. She had gained weight. She didn't care. And I think sometimes a lot of women sort of relax into it. Because listen, being a woman, there's a lot of upkeep that men don't really understand.

You know, there's a lot of things you have to do. And I think sometimes a woman sort of is like, oh, I finally got a guy, right? And like I could maybe not take care of everything because it is a lot of work. Yeah. And I think they don't even realize that it happens. Right. Well, guys are like, I'm sorry, but, you know, I think guys are a lot more gross than women. I can't even handle. I have so many guy friends that, you know, they're older. I'm going to be 46. They're my guy friends. Some of them, they look like they're pregnant with triplets, you know?

They got those big fat bellies, a little skinny legs, a little skinny arms that have hair growing out of places that you're not supposed to have hair growing. And they're like judging women. Like, I have to say, like nobody's business. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. And they're like, and nose hair during. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. An 8.7. An 8.7 will walk by and they'll be like, oh, no, look at that little stomach she has. Like, I would never fuck her. It's like, are you kidding?

You're like disgusting. You know, so I think men always have, like, since the dawn of, like, I think from the beginning they let themselves go. They don't even give a shit because they don't have to. They don't have that upkeep. I think guys are different nowadays. The younger generation is very different. The guys have to dress better. They're more into their looks and more self-conscious.

It's a different world. But we didn't grow up in that world. The world that we grew up in is like, you know, women. had to do all this stuff and men just, you know, they didn't have to dress up really. No guys were into dressing nice or their clothes or, you know, and they didn't really take care of their bodies. I think men naturally keep muscle tone different in a better, in an easier way than women. But still, most men get fat and gross when they're older and they still think, and they still

do get ass. I'm sorry to say. It's just because women, we're wire different. Sometimes like, I mean, I've dated all kinds of looking guys. It's not like, oh, someone has to be perfect, perfect body, perfect face. you know, we're not wired that way. But you look at men, don't you? Yes, but I look at them in a different way.

Do I, what do you mean? Like, okay, so what's the question? Yeah, I look at men. So you look at men, and when you look at a guy, is there a specific part of a man's body that you look at, or is it just, you're looking at the whole package and he's an attractive guy. Yeah, if anything.

No, okay, if any, I always, like any girl, I'll always look at the face, you look at the vibe, but it is the whole package. but if any part of the body I look at, whether it's men, woman, child, animal, I'm an ass person. I love asses.

And I like funny looking asses. I like all kinds of asses. But I also like a nice ass. Like, and I'll look at that. And so, because that to me is the middle. Yeah, well, you know. Eyes and the ass.

Yeah, I think that like, yeah, I think it's like the middle of everything. You never see a person with a great ass and a bad rest of their body. I just think that that is the focal point. with someone has a nice ass, everything around it is great too. And I don't think that's the reason why I look. I just get fixated on asses for some reason.

Like I said, even funny looking ones or weird looking ones, but a weird ass, like one that's like concave or like, you know, that might be like a turnoff for me with a guy. But other stuff, not so much. I'm very into physical fitness. I've always taken care of myself and my body is still really great at my age because I've worked out since I'm like 20 years old. And but I'm not into like I don't look at guys and judge their body so much. much. You know what I mean? It's not like I'll look at a guy that's like a little bit out of shape and be like, oh, fuck that.

If he has a vibe about him or he's got, you know, and I start to talk to him and he's really funny, like I've dated guys that were fattish and I don't mind it at all. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the way the guys present themselves too, whether, you know, whether it be at work or, you know, when you were talking about how some of your friends are getting a little bit obese and they might say something about a woman and you're saying, well, look at yourself, look at yourself. I think that a lot, what happens a lot of times, guys do just kind of let them go. And they don't look at themselves in the mirror and look at what they're wearing when they walk outside. It's like, you know, do you have any respect for yourself?

It's disgusting. I've done man makeovers. I've done man makeovers. I've done man makeovers are more than one of my guy friends and really change them because a lot of these guys have like a lot of potential. They just need to like up their wardrobes, change their hair, cut it, buzz cut. It's something, you know. A lot of men could look a lot better than they do.

I love transforming people and I like helping people. So I've done man makeovers more than, you know, once. And it's always really gratifying for me because I could see a lot of guys and be like, wow, he doesn't even really have to do that much to look 10 times better, you know. But a lot of times it's like the change of clothes, a change of hair, put him on a no-carb diet. And, you know, they can lose weight like really fast and look 10 times better. And I, you know, and it's healthier for you. I mean, that big fat belly in front of the guy.

Like, that's not healthy. That's really bad for them. Right. Or, you know, even if, you know, you do the best you can, you know, so if you get a really big gut, start losing weight. But you know what? You can wear a nice shirt. You can wear a nice pair of pants. You don't have to have shoes that look like they're 40 years old. Exactly. But you know what? Like, listen, what's more important to you when you're older? I mean, you know, I just think like you can't, like people think like, oh, it doesn't matter that I'm 50 years old. I still want to eat like a 17-year-old. You know, you can't do that when you're older. It's like a car. You know, your body is like a car. When the, okay. cars old you got to take care of it you know and it's just like when you're younger that's your time to eat whatever the fuck you want and do those kind of things and your metabolism's faster and your body can handle it when you're over 40 50 you got to you got to pass up pizza a lot of the time if you want to look good you know but every now and then if you take care of yourself you could have whatever the

fuck you want that's how I live in my life but I say no to a lot of things because I know that I'm not 25 I'm 45 and at 45 if I want to look good I can't eat like that because it's that's just that's just the that's just the but people don't see it that way. I'm very into health and fitness, so for me, I'm just wired to always think that way. I'm horrified, by the way people eat and their diets and how they take care of themselves because it's like not good for them. Everything in moderation, that's what I say.

You know what? If you look at that piece of pizza, have one. You don't have to have five. Well, for somebody like me who I am always like moderation of solely, moderation is very hard for me. And that's a whole different sort of, it's a very hard moderation. It's a different kind of discipline. I'm very disciplined in that I could say I'm going to quit drinking, and I quit drinking for 12 years.

I could say I'm going to quit smoking. I quit smoking for 16 years. Like I'm a good quitter, but I'm an all or nothing quitter. And that's actually easier than moderation. Moderation is hard. Having one is hard if you're wired a certain way, you know. So I think if you're wired the way I am, it's about saying, no, 99% of the time. And so for me, when I have that one slice of pizza, I can't just have one.

I know that when I have pizza and I allow myself to have pizza and that could be once a month because I work out hard and I do what I want It could be twice a month if I fucking want I make the rules I'm gonna eat a whole pie do you understand Because I'm gonna have fun and then that's it and then I go back to being good It's different for different kinds of people I guess but I guess I'm not wired that way that way No you're definitely not you're I admire the way you're wired and it's great the way you're not an addict

And that's why you could webcam women and get really into it and know rash, like know when the right time is to stop. An addict doesn't know that. When they like something and they get in that zone, they can't stop. It's a very different thing. You don't have that. You're not an addict. And I think that you're healthier. Like that's a healthy way to be and the more normal way to be.

And moderation is healthier than being an extremist. But sometimes when you're like wired the other way, you just can't help it. It's a matter of knowing how you are. wired, who you are, and then, you know, living your life accordingly. Like, I can't pretend that I'm like you. You know what I mean? I'm not like you. I can't do the moderate thing.

But you can, and that's great. What? It's all or nothing for you? Yeah, a lot of the time. Yeah, a lot of times. But I do all or nothing in a much more healthy way at this point of my life because I did quit all of my bad addictions. And, you know, and I'm moderate with some of my good addictions.

Like, I'm a gym person, but I'm certainly not a crazy gym person. If I don't go to the gym for a week or a month, like, I'm fine with that and I'll go when I need to, but I keep up with it, you know. And I've been able to be more moderate as I've gotten older because I've gone to therapy and I work on the addictive part of my personality. But it's always slightly there. Like I said, when I smoked that weed recently, I saw that part of myself come back. And, you know, I have really good discipline. I'm very disciplined. So it was easy for me to be like, I could hear those voices in my head, but I could ignore them, you know.

I've learned to be able to ignore them and not sort of follow that feeling that was like, oh, go smoke more pot, you know. But that's a hard thing. I think you said it right. I think the voice is in your head. You've got to try to, and sometimes they're hard to ignore. I know they are for me, but sometimes I look at what the ramifications are if I didn't ignore. And that's what kind of brings me back in. No, that's smart, right.

And you could only have that rational thinking, you know, when you're not sort of in it. The minute you say, oh, I'm going to follow those voices, and once you follow them and you're doing whatever it is, you're not rational anymore. So you have to have that rational thinking beforehand, right? When those voices come up, you have to say to yourself, like, I'm not even going to go there. And that's what I do. I don't feed it. There was once this, like, movie a long time ago, I forget. It was like about quantum physics.

And it was really great. What the bleep do we know about anything? I don't know. And it talked about these sort of brains, like, connections that we have. And that's like addiction. And it shows that like every time you feed that connection, it just becomes stronger, right? And then you become hardwired. And the only way to unwire that connection, whatever it is, is to stop feeding it, whatever it is.

So if, you know, you're hardwired to have to eat pizza every fucking day, you have to stop eating pizza. And you have to literally starve that part of you. But that starvation process is brutal. I mean, I've starved myself with smoking cigarettes. I've starved myself of smoking, you know, weed, alcohol, meaningless. sex. I've done a lot. I've killed a lot of those sort of things in my brain and it takes a long time. Sometimes it's like years before you stop hearing those voices. But it eventually over time becomes easier, you know, but sometimes we're always there and it's kind of fucked up that you realize like how

powerful those connections could be. And the only way to kill it is to starve it. Like people have sugar addictions. I see tons of friends that have sugar addictions. I'm like the only way to get over it is like whenever you want sugar, don't have it. You just can't have it. you know and the more you don't have it the less you'll want it but even when you slightly want it you just can't have it that's the way to kill an addiction yeah sometimes you're absolutely right and I agree with you um the thing with me you know sometimes if I see a woman just walking down the street I'm like I'm dressing it with my eyes and I just say you know what my guy friends tell me and it's so true and as women I think sometimes myself like wow like how many guys have that I don't know have jerked off to me you know I don't know have jerked off to me you know you know that like strangers on the street right because like as women we don't really realize that we're walking on the street and some guy on the other side of the road might see us and go home and jerk off to us and because my guy I have a lot of guy friends that tell me that that's the way guys are that's not like that's not wrong I think that that's actually more healthy and if you feed that part

of yourself yourself and you use your imagination like you said you know you're what you think keeps your relationship going with your wife is you use your imagination for things and so if you could really go there in your head and live out your fantasy in your head and make it real for that moment you're, you know, for those couple minutes you're jerking off. When you're done and you go back to reality, you feel a lot better about yourself. If you've done that fantasy in your head

than if you lived it out in reality. Because I think sometimes if you live it out in reality, it's a little bit more dirty, it's more illicit, there's more consequences and you feel like, oh my God, I got to take a fucking shower, you know? Whereas if you do it in your head, excuse me? Do women do that? Yeah, they cross those lines and take it further?

Or do the jerking off scenario. Yeah, I think. you know, did dittling, you know, so, oh, geez, look at that kind. They go into the ladies' women when I start dittling. Maybe, but this is, yeah, but not like, I don't, as women, I don't think we, at least for me, and I'm a very open, sexually experienced person, and I don't see a guy across the street, you know, but I know that guys do. Like, that's completely the thing where we're wired a little bit different.

But, you know, if a woman knows a guy or meets a guy or, and starts to, you know, has some sort of chemistry with someone, that could happen, absolutely. But it doesn't happen as often as men. You're hardwired to see a girl across the street. Like, I remember my one friend who was like, okay, if I see a girl across the street and, like, the wind blows and her skirt goes up a little bit and I see a little bit of her thigh. Like, that's good enough for me.

Like, I'll go home and jerk off to that girl. And that's just guys. Yeah, that's just guys. And I don't think that that's wrong. If you're doing it in your mind, who the fuck cares? Yeah. That's the best place. Yeah.

Because there was this woman. I forget how I. ended up meeting her. It had to be too Craiglissa or maybe Yahoo or something anyway. It was a while ago. And, you know, so the pictures was sent, and she was turned on, and she was telling me that, you know, what she would do, and she would go home and she'd look at my pictures and she'd dittle.

And it got to the point where I was telling her while she was at work to go into the ladies and take pictures of while she was dittling, that's what she would do from. You know, to me, that was pretty, it was very erotic, and it was pretty powerful for me. I felt like, you know, it was great for my ego. It was exciting. And, you know, it was a big turn on. For sure.

I mean, yeah, now we're all going to look at our coworkers differently when they tell us they have to go to the bathroom. I mean, this is why I like doing my podcast because you never know what people are doing, right? Like, look, nobody probably knew that girl at work. Did you ever see her? Like, she could have been like the most uptight-looking, regular-looking gal, right, at work that you. would never have any idea and she's having this like sort of secret sexual thing with a guy and during work hours and you know I think people have all kinds of urges sexually and because we're so repressed especially you know in the United States like everyone has to keep everything so under wraps I think in a

weird way that makes it more illicit and hot right the sort of wrongness of it adds to it so people are doing these kind of things I think if you could keep it at a certain level and you have proper boundaries and you're not an addict like you and you know where to draw the line it's okay and it's healthy you know like i said i believe sometimes to live out your fantasies in your mind is sometimes a lot better than in reality some people think oh i want to live these kind of fantasies out in reality but i think maybe sometimes in reality it's not as great you know and so if you could just do it in your head and get it over with the minute you're done having your orgasm you're like oh that you're you're back to normal you know you don't even care it's that some people live in that moment and

And they need to more and more, and then they go doing real stuff, and then they feel terrible afterwards. But I don't really think you have to. I think sometimes stuff is better kept as a fantasy. Yeah. Yeah, you might be right. You know, I know. You might be right. But I mean, geez, I'll tell you.

I mean, would I am astray? I hope not. But you know what? I can't say that. I haven't yet after 25 years. And that's pretty good, like you said. But, you know, I don't know. That's great.

More than pretty good. And say, hey, you want to join in? sure you know what I really would give you a pass on that what all right well it says every man's fantasy right totally and you've never had that and you know and maybe your wife will never give that to you maybe you'll never have that I don't know but if you did that you strike me as a type of guy that would be able to do it once you'd be like okay that I got that you know that was my fantasy and then you could be done with it and go back to your life it's like the guy that you worry about is the guy that would do that and become addicted.

You know, I know guys that are addicted to sex for sure. Do you know what I mean? And could have really used your therapist, okay? And they don't. And they're, and they just, when they scratch that itch, they can't stop. And that's the guy you don't want to be married to. Your wife's got a good guy. I think, like, you're great, you know?

Yeah, thank you. But I'll tell you, you know, you have all these fantasies and all these desires and you keep them kind of hush-hush, and keep them, you know, so that they don't come out. But it's bad sometimes, you know. So like you said, it's a fantasy, and I try to keep it like that. But, you know, if I ever got the opportunity, I'm not sure what would happen. Right.

But I think that what helps your fantasy, like, what helps you not have to take it to that, to the real level, is that you sort of give it a little room to breathe in the email exchanges you have with women and that kind of stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like you do do a little bit, right? You don't just keep it all in your head. You are on Craigslist looking for women. You are emailing women.

You're talking about sex with other women. You know, you do sort of go there a little bit. And that probably helps keep it at bay. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. You know. If you were 25, maybe you'd be cheating a lot more because sometimes what they say is like, you know,

a man cheats as much as his options. Like, I mean, right? You work hard. You said you're always working. You're 57 years old. it's not like you walk into a bar and you can have any girl you want, right? So like that makes it a little bit. Like, you know, there's less availability maybe.

Yeah. Right? You know? Yeah. It's not like you could just fuck anyone. But so that helps. But I think at this point, if you had another affair, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. You've only had one.

And I know, like I said, my listeners, some women would be like, that's so fucked up. Because I'm a woman and I understand and I think it's. But I think that. your girl is lucky you know she has you I would you know if I could have a guy like that that you know because for women the hardest thing is finding a guy and thinking realistically that this person's because I know how men really are that it could be you know really really faithful for that long

you don't take Viagra or any shit like that right no no I don't need that yet I don't know I don't need that I've never taken that right right see that changes the rules too because lot of older men now they just take that and they need to fuck a lot more and so they could just keep screwing and it's just a it's a big um problem you know yeah yeah but i think you have stuff under control you said that you also write for websites is that the truth that life is that was that you do you write for websites no no no no that's not me oh but you know i've written you know on some of the

emails that you might send to uh you know on the response to an ad or something i might write a scenario or I might write a, like, an erotic novella. That's because that's what they're asking for, and I kind of, I said, well, my mind wander, and I put it down on an email, and it's pretty exciting to me,

so I write it, you know? And then you might back, and they, you know, and then you go back and forth on all these different, you know, these different scenes, you know, so the story builds from, from its infancy all the way through, you know, like a, like a story. So, you know, so I've done that in the past. But, you know, and throwing a picture with two every once in a while.

Right, but you're not hard. I know, like, I've always wanted a dick pick guy on my show because I had a, like, I know two dickpick guys. And I've always, you know, one was an old roommate of mine that just, like, sent me incessant dickpicks and tried to get down my pants for, like, many, many years, for years after he lived with me. It was, like, really nutty stuff. And then I had a guy that was a friend who I started to learn out. It was a massive dick pick guy, too. And it was just like constant dickpicks. It was like really weird.

But interesting to me, and I've always wanted a dick pick guy on my show because I think that we all know those people, and it is like a thing. Obviously, you're not that guy because you've sent a picture here and there. But, you know, there are dick pick guys out there. And if anyone's listening and you're a dick pick guy, please call into my show because I want that kind of guy on my show because I think I want to get underneath or inside the mind of a dick big guy. Even though I kind of know what it is because I know these two guys really well that

were into it, but they don't want to be on the show. But I think other people would be interested in getting behind that sort of mind. Oh, I've said dick pics, but it's not like that. Not incessantly. No, yeah, not like that, no. No, these guys would send them to me unsolicited, a consulently, no matter how many times I said, no, like, it was very, like, bizarre, you know, and it was like... Were you offended by that?

Were you offended? You know, it's hard to offend me because I'm so, like, um, open. And both of these guys I knew really well. So it wasn't like I was like, oh my God. You know, was I offended? No, not offended would be the wrong word. Not interested would be the right word at most of the time, especially with the first guy because he was a roommate of mine.

I was never interested in him and never wanted to sleep with him. And he just wanted to go there. And he was just like, and he was very dirty. And I wasn't offended, but I wasn't turned on at all. If anything, I was very turned off by his stuff. The other guy was a guy I was sleeping with and we had amazing chemistry. but he was like a commitment phone and didn't want a relationship so I didn't want to go there and when I said no to him he couldn't fucking handle it and you know so those that dickpicked and all that shit it was just too much and in the same way it was like it wasn't a turn on it wasn't offensive but it was like a turn off because I was like what the fuck like I'm not into it and for me personally like with the second guy I always looked in the background more I was more interested in like where he was when he was sending it who was in the background if he was where he said he was like I would that's what I was looking at I was like enough of your dick already. I've seen it like a million times, you know.

but so I don't really care either way it's interesting to me they're both of my friends you know so it wasn't like um it was just like this other secret side of them because as regular people and as friends they were totally rational human beings but when their dick got hard they turned into maniacs and they couldn't stop sending like an anthony weiner like a tiger woods when people are that sort of neurotic about it there's an addiction that goes into it and that's definitely there and that's why I would like to talk to that person because I think everyone knows people like

that and that's what you want to get into the I like to get into those people's because there's like dysfunction there and we're all dysfunctional I have my dysfunction so I get it you know I just think it would be interesting to talk to someone that has that dysfunction well I don't know anybody like that's okay all right but what anyway thanks for calling in because I mean you're interesting because like I think what people could take out of this call is like first of all we talked about interesting different topics you know but also I think you have a very healthy relationship you're somebody that you know you don't get a lot of people that have been married for as long

as you have still have good sex, haven't really cheated, and so I think you're a testament to the fact that that could actually happen and, you know, and that, you know, some guys out there aren't wired to be total maniacs, you know, and you're not, and you're not addictive, and you're moderate, and it's

a, it's good, it's all good. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Oh, I'm not going to send a dick pick. I'm going to send you a pick as that. Yeah, listen. I don't need to. No, you shouldn't. Honestly, this is the deal, and I'm going to tell you. I'm glad you brought it up.

I can't tell you how many pictures and dates I get after, like, after my calls all the time, a guy will be like, oh, just so you know when they send me a picture. And I, like, my show is called strictly anonymous because I just want to keep it anonymous. I think that's the best way to people be honest and open. And, you know, who knows what happens online if you ever have a threesome or your wife catches you, I'll have you back on the show. You know, I don't want to know who you are. I think it ruins things for me in a weird way.

So I have gotten pictures unsolicited. I'm glad that you asked me ahead of time. I think it's better if you don't send it. There's no need for it. Okay. If you ever get that Kim Riosk and you just need me on the back and I'll send you all that. Okay. I have strong boundaries with my show.

Yeah. Okay. Have you ever done three sums? No. Uh-uh. No, not at all. I like to be with one person. person at one time like that's my thing you know I like that kind of vibe I've always and I've

talked about this on my show I've always wanted to be a swinger when I was younger that was like my goal in life like one day I'm going to be a swinger I was always really interested in and I watched a lot of documentaries of it I've never been I've had commitment issues you know and just because of stuff that I've been through so I've never been in a long enough relationship to become and to to become a swinger right like I you know because I believe the only way you could do that is when And you really know that, you know, emotionally and in every other sense, you're sort of tied to that person and you have that security and then, you know, who cares about sex. But I've never gotten to that point with someone. And I don't know that I ever will.

So, but I've always wanted to be a swinger and be open to that way. But, you know, for me, I'm still trying to figure out the whole intimacy thing. And to me, intimacy is really, you know, you and just another person. And I think that's the best way to start off relationships and the best way to be. And it's always been enough for me. I'm like you. I have a very good imagination. I was talking about this with somebody recently

in that, like I had one guy once, I'd be like, could you dress up in this outfit and that, and that's fine, but like, I don't know. I could like imagine stuff in my head so I'm very creative and I have a good so that I don't really need a lot of stuff you know. So one person in my imagination is enough.

If I have, if I have, you know, I know how to make things work and I have really have great sex if I have chemistry and I have imagination and that person on the same page with me. It's been enough. but I haven't been with anybody for 20 years. Would it be enough for me after 20 years? I don't really know.

And what would I do? Would I have threasons and do all that stuff? I don't know because I haven't been put in that position. And I can't, like, like, I say to myself like, oh, if I was your wife, I wouldn't care if you email. But I don't really know. I don't know who I'd be in that situation. You haven't been with somebody for, for, you haven't been with anybody or?

No, I've been with a lot of people. Go read my book I told you about. No, I've been with a lot of people. I've never, my book is really funny, actually. there's a lot of sex in it there's a lot of relationship but it's like laugh all loud funny it's very short little relationship stories it gets to the point really quick it's like a chapter book you could read one chapter or you could read the whole thing from beginning to the end it's like my losing my virginity story which I don't think any other

person has this story and it's all true up until the time I'm 40 and their cartoons I drew them stick figures it's a pretty basic read and so no I've been with a lot I've had like you know I think the longest relationship I've ever had is like two and a half years and I've had millions of relationships with all kinds of guys but nothing serious I've never been married and nothing very long term though that is my goal I've always been working on my commitment issues you know like I've worked on all my other issues

and I believe in commitment and I want a real relationship now more than I've ever really wanted it I've always been into sort of not having it and been interested in being solo but I feel differently now that I'm older I'm just not dating right now but when I do date that's that's what I look for so I'm going to read your book and I think

that what we had talked about was I always wanted to read a book about what I've been doing over the last you know other women share with me over the last few years you know that's the book I want to yeah you should I think we talked about that in the emails too I mean listen writing a book for me was one of the hardest things I ever did if somebody would have told me ahead of time

what I would have to have done to write that book I probably would have never done it I did I literally drew it all in a car in a Sharpie magic marker and it turned out to be like 160 pages. And then I sent it to somebody and they're like, wow, this is, and this was somebody in the business because I worked in entertainment. He was like, this is really good. You know, but you can't send this out to agents. You should put it on a computer, you know, and get, and then so then I had to like do that and getting it, you know, into illustrator and onto a

computer and scanning it. It took me like a year to do that. And then another year to get an agent and then they sent it out, it didn't get picked up. And then another, you know, six months to put it online and like all this stuff I had to do. But it's like, well, if you really start something like that and really do it and really finish it. It's like a huge accomplishment. I have such respect when I walk in a bookstore and see any book. I don't care if it's about cat shit. I mean, that person, if they put together a book about cat shit and it's already in the store or it's being sold online or, you know, they have it in their closet. That's a big thing because it's really hard. It's one thing to say you want to do it, but to actually do it and finish it

is a huge accomplishment. But you have to actually do it, you know, and you have to be disciplined about it and it takes a while but it's gratifying. I can't be doing it with it. I can't do it though. You know, there's the cat that wife will end up reading it or finding out what are you doing.

Yeah, but maybe all that time that you used to take jerking off at work, you could take that 20 minutes or 30 minutes instead of jerking off, you could start writing that book. You know what I mean? You need time. I remember I was dating a very successful record producer at one point in my life and I said to him, oh, I'm just, this is

before I wrote a book and he said, you know, I'm I'm like, I'm just going to write a book one day. Like I, and he's like, well, when are you going to write? I'm like, you know, one day when it just comes to me. And he said, Kathy, I hate to say it. Like, because a lot of creative people think, like creatively you're not supposed to sort of stifle that or put any kind of boundaries on it or structure, but you have to. And he said, if you never really write that stuff and structure yourself and tell yourself

you have to write for this amount of time, it's never going to happen. There has to be a discipline behind your creativity. And you have to do it that way. And that's how you become successful. And he was right. Like, until I sort of said to myself, I'm going to, to get up and write every single day at this time and I'm going to take all weekend and six you know so many hours I'm not going to leave my computer like until I did that it would have never gone down

doesn't just come to you one day your book's not just going to magically appear it's going to take actual time and you have to structure it and say okay every day for 30 minutes when I get to work or I'm going to stay late 30 minutes at work I'm going to write and 30 minutes is hard when you get into that creative head space you need hours and hours because there is something to it so you know it's harder than it looks, but it's gratifying if you could do it. But read my book, and if you do let me know, it's called, I should pitch my book, it's called

the Cartoon Miss Adventures of a Total Trainwreck. And it's on Amazon and it's Kindle. It's a Kindle book, so it's only like $2.99. And like I said, it's a really easy read and it's really kind of funny. And guys like it too, even though I never thought it would be a book for guys, but guys like it because they say they learn about women.

It's kind of sexy. There's a lot of sex in it when the sex is a part of the relationship. but and it's it's very direct into the point there's not a lot of blah blah blah I don't like shit like that so my book reads that way you know there's not a lot of adjectives yeah which I think I can finish my yeah I'm in work so I get to finish yeah no thanks so much for calling in can okay all right thank you and talk you soon all right good luck bye okay I just want to tell you before you go that my book it's called strictly anonymous confession secret sex lives of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the

audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters.

It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me.

Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there you can post your own pictures and videos there's tons of channels we have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money it's a super fun place to be it's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it i will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord it's private like i said all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase whether you did the audiobook the ebook or the paperback

sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.