Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 079 - Gary is Very into Virtual Sex

Episode Date: June 23, 2015

Gary is married but he has a profile on an adult website that he uses strictly for virtual sex. He never meets up with women in person but lately he's been wondering if his online "interest" is turning into an addiction. Where does he go online to meet these women? What does he do with them when he's online? Is he actually addicted to getting women off via webcam?  Tune in to find out. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, send an email to me at the same email address, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. I love to have anybody and everybody on the show. I, you know, basically the premise of the show is I talk to like online strangers because I find regular people fascinating. I mean, my rule is always like I never talk about celebrities because who really fucking cares. I think if you talk to most people, you, at least I find most people interesting.

And I feel like if you ask them enough questions, you could get to interesting shit with most people. So that's what I do here. So if you feel like being on the show because you think that you have a problem where you want to reveal a secret life, everything is totally anonymous. Write in. Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Anyway, today I have on the call a guy named Gary. We're going to call him Gary. He's calling from overseas.

So we were on like an internet phone or then he switched to a cell phone. I still felt like it was a little choppy, but I think it will be okay. And Gary's thing is that I met him on adult friend fighters. And when I go on adult friend finders, the way I solicit guys or, you know, I have my same profile up there that says like I'm looking for colors for my show. But nobody really looks at that because I always get hit up by these guys. and they're just sending me dick pics and they obviously haven't read my profile. So what I do is I just go on instant messenger and then guys start, you know, texting me on that.

And then I say, hey, like I run a podcast, would you like to be on the show? And I got a bunch of guys that said, okay. And so Gary was one of them that just said, okay. And with the guys from, adult friend finder, the only information I have from them most of the time is like their profile. And they just call in, so I don't really know much about it. I already did the call with this guy. So what I know about him is that he was this guy that goes on to Adult Friend Finder, more for, like, virtual sacks.

And that's what Adult Friend Finder is really great for, actually. I was just talking to Tommy. You remember a co-host Tommy? He is getting back out there and starting to date very slowly. And I was telling him about Adult Friend Finder because I never really knew much about it before I started soliciting people on there for my podcast. But it's this place where you could go on. And if you like virtual stuff or you're sort of a voyeur or you're an exhibition,

You know, it's a great place to do business because there's a lot of stuff going on there. Like, you could put yourself on a webcam and that people could watch you and you could watch them. And that's what a lot of guys do. A lot of guys like to go on to Adelf Friendfinders and have virtual sex with other people, have people watch them or get other people off. And they meet women on there. I think one of my other callers from Adult Frontenirder said the women most of the time stay, you know, anonymous and virtual as opposed to they're not really interested in meeting in person.

And that's fine with this guy Gary. Because Gary's thing is he's married and he has this kind of, he thinks it might be an addiction. He doesn't really know. But he loves getting strangers, strange women online to come by watching him play with himself and that kind of thing. And he finds that he could do that pretty easily or does that regularly on adult friend finders. And he calls it and we just discuss that.

And it's really interesting. And like I said, he's calling from a. abroad. So if you can't really hear them, him, because I haven't edited it yet. I just did the call. It was hard for me to understand him, but hopefully it'll be cool. His name is Gary, and I'll be right back on with him.

You're calling from abroad, right, Gary? Yeah, you can see the number. Just don't put it in any records. I would not. Okay, so you don't have to listen. My show is called Strictly Anonymous. It's a strictly anonymous podcast. I never try to find out who people are.

I don't give a shit. What I think is like, I just believe that regular people are interesting and what my people listen to the show for is to hear about people's like secret lives and shit that they do that nobody really talks about. Okay. Okay. Why are you doing this for? What's interesting?

Why do I do this? Because I find people fascinating because I like talking. I like like analyzing and peeling back the layers and getting people to talk. Sometimes I help people with their problems on my show too, which is very satisfying for me. I'm not a professional. I always say like I give unprofessional advice and that's the way I like it. You know, it's not... What do you do for a living?

What do you do for a living? This is what I'm doing for a living now. As much as, you know, listen, I don't... I remain anonymous, too. Nobody really knows exactly who I am or what I've done or what I do on the side. But this is what I love to do. I'm trying to get my own radio show. I like having a call and talk show.

It's actually fun for me. But what do you sell this recordings before? Excuse me? You said you make a living doing this. Oh, no. I don't sell them. No, they're on iTunes. I just advertise them and people listen to them. It's something that I do creatively for fun. Okay.

I don't need any... Yeah, you know you like to do something when you do it for free. Do you know what I mean? Like, nobody pays me to do this. I spend a lot of my time doing this. I edit. I put everything up and it's like I don't get paid shit, but I do it because I really enjoy doing it. Oh, it's exciting.

It's totally exciting. So you're my first person calling from another country. I get a lot of listeners from other countries because, of course, I, you know, advertise all over the world. But I'm assuming because I found you on adult friendfinders, and your profile said you live in New York. So I'm assuming that you do business here. Yeah, I'm in New York. I'm in New York. I moved out in New York, which country you're in. So you're not in New York anymore.

Do you care to say which country you're in or no? It doesn't matter to me. I tell you. I don't need to mention it. Okay, cool. But you want me to take that out of the podcast? I mean, everything on the air is like, you know, I'm taping right now. Oh, you're taping now?

Yeah, this is the show. I'm just working on a wrap. Take out. Take out? Okay, so no one is ever... Yeah, you can keep New York. Fine. Okay, I'll edit that out.

Okay, so you're from... You do business in New York, and then you also go back and forth someplace else. So you're an adult friend fighters. Do you use it? Like, are you married or are you single? Married. You're married. Okay.

And so I'm assuming that what you do on adult... Frontfinders is a secret, right? From your wife? Yeah, that's right. So I couldn't talk too much time. I couldn't talk to. Oh, were you the one? You know, my listeners don't know, but I, someone called me last night, and then they were whispering,

and I thought, oh, you're like trying to jerk off while you're talking about the phone. But you're like, no, my wife was sleeping. That's right. That was me. Yeah, okay, cool. You sounded so different. So you just go on, Adelfand, Front, and is that a place where you look to, like, have virtual like sort of sex with other women or do you meet women in person?

No, mostly virtual. Mostly virtual? Yeah, mostly virtual. Is it virtual? I think I made ones with someone from the website. You only once? I mean, do you keep it virtual because that's better for you? Or do you keep it virtual only because there's not enough women that would actually meet you in person?

I think it's comfortable for me to keep it. in that way. Right, because you have a wife. Do you have any kids? Because it's comfortable. You know, in the frame of your house, on the internet, you know, there's no headaches of meeting and no commitment or anything. Right, but that you get variety, right, instead of just your wife. Like, you have a little variety so you let...

Exactly. You get to release that part of you. What? You can meet a lot of people in the short period of time. Right, and then what do you do with them? I mean, I saw your profile. You don't have much on there, just basically like a dick pick and a picture of like the top half of you, like topless. Those are your real pictures, right?

Right. And so, you know, when you meet people on webcam or whatever, however you meet them virtually, do you show your face or do you remain anonymous with them? I turn not to, but they send a picture and they have a conversation. So I'll basically show my face. I don't want them to report anything. Right. How old are you and how old's your wife? And how long you've been married for? Be five and she's about 40.

Right. And how long you guys been married for? Married for about three years. Okay. And now have you always been... Is this something that you just started to do behind your wife's back or have you always done it? I just... I just turned me on to do. camp with other people and it's good when I see them

kind of mutual selling right so you like to jerk off while you watch like women jerk off I like women to come actually watching me I don't care about it I don't really jerk off that much I like to I like to see and hear them come

okay so what do you do to make them come like do you just like you don't come though because sometimes like just so you know like a woman wants the same thing, right? A woman wants that pleasure. I play with myself and they just worked in my cock

and they masturbate and eventually they come and I like... You like to watch it. Do you also like, you know, do you... Do you take these, like these affairs that you have on the computer? Do you like call these people or text them stuff? Like, do you do it on your phone as well? Sometimes in the phone, but

I was trying to text you today. Sometimes on the phone, either the message doesn't get through or they just don't answer. I know. I have no context during the evening when I'm at home. And then also I can access my camera on the computer and get the truck to, you know, to see and watch. Right. I get it. It's a little hard to hear you on this phone, too. You're a little, like, choppy. But I'm hopefully it'll tape.

Okay. So. Okay. Yeah. I mean, like, so you never ask these women, like, for their telephone numbers or anything like that? I do, especially if they don't have a camera. I kind of ask for permission to call them so I can please hear them because for me to play with myself and turn them on, I need some feedback. And the voice would be a great thing.

Right, totally. So you've only met one woman offline and what did you do with her? What happened in that scenario? We met somewhere in Queens in the motel and we had some sex and that was it pretty much. Was that the only time you cheated on your wife or have you cheated before, like in person? No, it was way back. It was way back before I was. I'm sorry, before I was married.

I never cheated on my life. You stayed, what did you say about your wife? So you just got married to your wife a couple years ago. So this was before you got married to your wife? That was before you. That was, say, maybe four or five years ago even more. Right, when you were in New York, and you're still in New York, you're back and forth. Do you find that, like, I mean, this is, because I had a friend the other day asked me about adult friend finders because he was like, should I go in there to, like, fuck girls?

And I mean, I always tell my listeners, and this is what I believe that. You could fuck girls on OKCupid or, like, Match.com. I mean, you don't necessarily have to go to that website and weed through, like, the fake profiles, because a lot of women nowadays are kind of promiscuous in that. though, you know, it's not that hard to sleep with a woman now, you know, in this day and age. I mean, I'm 46, right? So when I was younger, it was a different world. And men, you know, you had to, like, date a girl before she'd fuck you, most girls. You know, now it's different.

It's pretty easy to sleep with a girl, right? So you don't really. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, you don't get to know them. I think everybody is just for the fuck. And then after day, they'll see what's next, you know, as opposed to the other way. Let's see what we can build and then maybe we'll have sex one day and make it special.

Right. Well, which do you prefer? I tell the truth. I think something is wrong with my head. I mean, I love physical sex, but I'm constantly horny, a old-time horny, and this kind of helps me too. I don't know, maybe it's like a fake feeling of satisfying out of women over the Internet, because I love when they do come, and they love to come. So it gives me a little bit of satisfaction, maybe a little bit of ego, I don't know. Right, it feeds your ego.

And do you think that's a problem? I don't know if it's a problem, but sometimes I feel it is a problem because, you know, what's the definition of addiction, you know, when you realize that it's messing up your life? And sometimes, like, I need to go somewhere, but his power is holding the next big computer because I want to just find someone that I can make a problem, you know what I mean? Right, like you definitely feel like sometimes. it has more control over you than you have over yourself, right?

I mean, it is a strong pull. Yeah, sex. Yeah, it is a strong one. Yes, when you're like sexually interested in something, sometimes they could have a very strong pull and I think that could be scary because sometimes you could be like, oh my God, this is, you know, more in control.

Like, you're not in control of yourself. And that is the definition of an addiction. For sure. Like, I quit drinking, like, I'm a sober person. I quit drinking like 12 years ago. So I know all about addiction. How do you feel like it gets in the way of your life? Is it just that sometimes

you literally can't get away from the computer and, you know? I tell you how this is working. Somehow I find a way that, you know, I have old contacts and stuff. I get someone on Skype and just tell them, you know, let's just steady friends in a way or whatever you're called.

You'll get on Skype whenever I have time. and if they have time, they just last to bed. Sometimes I feel guilty, so it's mixed real. Why do you sometimes feel guilty? I don't know. The husband's right there, and you know what I mean. Yeah, no, let me ask you this, though, when you're in the heat of the moment and your dick is hard and you're horny, right?

Is that the part of it that actually turns you on? The fact that the husband's there. Like, is that part of the turn-on? And then after you come, you feel bad? No, no, no. That's how I don't think. No, no, I don't think any competitive is over the husband. I don't think about that.

Okay. I just, there's something that makes me enjoy doing it. Sometimes I even like to watch my own country, you know, and the way they reacted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you a dick pick guy? Like, you like to send your dick picks to people or people to see it?

Like, I mean, is that, like, a part of a thrill for you? I could be a big thing, especially if I like someone doing this shit. I would probably, you know, I would do it with them constantly. And sometimes I feel it's also messing the mind. I try to be balanced in better way. Yeah, I believe people have their own moral compass, right? Everyone decides for themselves what's right or wrong for themselves, right? I wouldn't say what you're doing is wrong.

I would say even the fact that you'd rather do like online stuff. If as a man, you have to get your variety out of your system that way, that's a better way than if you were like out there fucking hookers or people behind your wife's back. I mean, it could be a lot worse, right? But I wouldn't, Joe. you or say you're right or wrong. I wouldn't even judge the guy that's fucking hook or say he's right or wrong. That's his own business and that's what you do and it's just like

what you do. But if you're, when you do things that kind of make you feel not right, that's when you kind of have to question it and that's your own thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. And maybe it's because you feel like... But sometimes sometimes it's just

spontaneous. Like I feel like, you know, I feel horny and then I just want to type. And the moment I type, hello or something sexual, you know, my dick gets hard immediately, you know, and I think that's part of the addiction. I just, you know, I don't have problem

with direction, thank God, no problem with that, but it just, just give me a rush, you know, somebody said it low and I send, like, a kiss, you know, on the text and so on the person responds, and immediately, I get into the mood, like, you know, I'm... Oh, of course, totally.

And, you know, there was a guy that called me last week, the one, the podcast I just, put up. And he had said that, like, in his life, he got horny for so many different things because they just became triggers for him because he was kind of horny and then he got into something. And then he sort of attached it in his mind, right? And then that was the thing that he needed so much. So, you know, you got horny. You did this thing with some girl online and it really turned you on. And now that's like a trigger for you, you know, right? And it makes you feel good. So, you know, how do you get out of it? Let me ask you this. Have you ever tried to like sort of follow you? And, you know,

this sort of, like, sexual experience into your marriage? Like, tell your wife, like, this is what I sort of like and do, like, kind of virtual stuff with her? I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I, I like, I, I, like, you know, saying that you're working on the computer. You know, all this thing. Totally, totally. And you're smart to think that. You have to, listen, women, I'm a woman, okay?

I'm like a fucking private detective, okay? Every woman is, okay? Right. And so, yeah, you definitely don't want to do it in a way that you would get busted and she would find out because there's nothing that's going to help your marriage by her knowing what you've done in the past. And if you decide you want to stop that and do it with her, that's a great thing. And she never needs to know what you did.

And she shouldn't know what you did. So you would have to go in in a way that wouldn't, be, it would be sort of, you have to kind of do it in a smart way. Like maybe, have, do you ever travel without her? Yes, and we see that in Skype, but we never went to the same. I know what you say. Yeah, why have you never initiated that? Do you guys have like a really good sex life, you and your wife?

I don't know. It's a topic I want to go into. Okay. You know, I think I have a much higher drive. You know, sometimes she's tired in the evening and there's also baby and stuff like that. So it's not easy. And I personally, I would have sex every night and every morning, you know. Of course.

Right, right. But she might not want to. I think a man and a woman is always a little bit on a different wavelength when it comes to sex. But I think that... Of course. You know, a man looks at the picture and gets psychological. to begin into the middle of course. Totally.

Men are wired visually to get turned on and women aren't. It's much more about a feeling, you know, and stuff like that. Exactly. Right. But some women, I mean, I know for me I'm turned on by what I hear and what I see as well and, like, because I'm creative, so you put something in my mind. I mean, you know, your wife, I don't know your wife and we're not, and I get the sense that you don't want to go so much into that and tell me your business

with your wife, and that's cool, you know, but there probably is a way. Because sometimes I think what men don't really, realize about women is that maybe they're dirtier than you think you know what I mean or they have stuff inside them but you know sometimes they're afraid because there's such a stigma with women to be called horrors or sluts so they keep a lot of I think their sexuality you know hidden from men too because I think that they're afraid that they would be judged if you work on discovering I hear you yeah that you have to be I mean you're married to your wife for three years I'm assuming how long you with her before you guys got married?

How long did you date her for? Not so much. We never had sex before the wedding. Okay, but I mean, my point is like you know her really well. I mean, this is a woman that you were with, that you married, that you fell in love with. You've been with her three years. So you're very close with her, right? I mean, you guys have a close, intimate relationship on other levels, right?

Yeah. Yeah, so there has to be a way that you could, you know, move in the direction of becoming more honest about who you are sexually with her without ruining your relationship. Actually, it should better your relationship. Now, listen, if you move a little forward and she's like, no fucking way, like, I don't want to do that. You're gross. Like, you should definitely stop and then just never bring it up and go back to the way, you know, business as usual. Because you can't force something, right?

And then just go back and do it with people online. And probably a lot of people would say that's bad advice, but whatever, you know, because you want to stay married to this woman and you love. her obviously. There's no problems there. You know, you just have this little thing on the side. But I would suggest before you just continue to do that, try to bring it into your marriage somehow and do it very slowly

because that could really help the situation. And then once you trigger your horniness into being, doing shit with your wife online, you know, maybe that then you start going in that direction instead of the strangers. I don't know. I think sometimes unfortunately...

I understand. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you could redirect your sort of addiction. You know what I mean? Or your attraction. Right, a little role playing and faking and all the stuff, yes. Yeah, I had a friend. There's a caller on my show called Dirty Prank Frank, okay? And he was a friend of mine who used to, I didn't know this.

He used to call me up on the phone and try to get me to talk dirty to him as a stranger. Now, he was someone that I had dated, and me and him had phone sex together. He could have called me up and had phone sex with me as Frank, but he didn't want to do that. He wanted to call me up as a stranger, okay? He didn't tell me who he was, and he would do this shit to me all the time, and I never knew. And then he got married, and he was still doing it to me, and I found out that it was him. And I'm like, what the fuck's your problem? Like, why don't you tell your wife?

Do you know what I mean? Like, hey, babe, I kind of like to call up people anonymously and pretend I'm a prank caller, and let's do this. Like I think that that kind of like open honesty in relationships is really good. I'm a very honest person by nature. So that wouldn't be hard for me to do in my relationship. But I get that a lot of regular people really like hide their freak flags. That's why I do my show because there's so many people that are doing, especially men, but I think that there's more women out there too.

They don't call my show. I get mostly men that are doing a lot of things behind a lot of people's backs because they just think it's so bad or weird or nobody else is doing it, but a lot of people are fucking doing it. Everyone's, you know, sex and what you do is like creative. I realize I go, I go to these rooms and a lot of men do the same thing, kind of begging women to the cam and they say, you know, here's my heart cog and I'm ready. Totally. Like a full room of guys doing it, you know. Right. And how many girls are like, and let me tell you, there are women watching them. I had a guy call up my show that's on there. You could listen to his show too and he has some he he he likes to broadcast himself and he says he has a couple women that

always watch him and he just likes to know that they're on there watching him and he doesn't sometimes he says he doesn't even jerk off he just puts it in the bathroom and he goes about his business and people watch him take a shower and all that kind of stuff so yes there's absolutely a lot of guys that are doing the same thing most most of the time also don't come i just play and i like them to watch you know sometimes i do the same thing i just put i i do my i do smiling things and I'm just playing with my car game. They just watch. They come and go.

I try to message them and discuss things with them. They say, you know, great cam or whatever. And I try to get them to, you know, to play with themselves. But most of the time I don't come. That's the thing. Yeah, so interesting. I'm just going to tell you, you have to listen to that podcast, too. He told me that a lot of times he doesn't come to.

As a woman, I don't understand that. Because, like, for me, if I'm going to have sex or I'm going to, to get off like the point is to come right like i don't stop until that point it was like when i drank the point was to get drunk you know but like i know men and i don't know but or in women i don't know that say like it's just enjoyable even if they don't come i don't really understand that but i've heard that before from guys yeah i i'm with you women don't and then at the end it just back me or why they just come when you're going to come i just want you to come and when they come i try to make them come again you know that they give me more than you're going to be more than you're going to

for a sex. Yeah, I have, I had, I had a boyfriend recently who was into something that he would call The Show, okay? And like, the show was kind of irritating to me as a woman who I can't, like, have multiple orgasms one after the other really quickly, right? I prefer my second. Fool around, have an orgasm. Yeah, relax.

Yeah, relax. Yeah, talk. Yeah, talk, hang out. And then you get horny again just through talking and then you do it again. That's like my preferred way, right? But there are these guys, and not just this guy I dated. Other guy friends of mine are like, oh, I do this show too. He wanted to, like, make me come a million times before he ever did.

Like, he just wanted me to come, like, five times, and he could stay hard the whole time. And he didn't want to come, and he could only come once. And it was kind of like, I don't know, to me, as a woman, the same thing as the man, the same thing, like, he wants to see me come and he enjoys it. I want him to come, too. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly.

You want to feel? Absolutely. If you're not, yeah, you really, it's all mutual. You want the other person to enjoy it. Right. So I think as women, we don't understand why a guy doesn't want to come. They want that same thing. And let me tell you, women are very self-conscious, right?

They need to be sexy to a man. So you know what they're going to think if you're not coming. He's not turned on by me. Like, why doesn't he? That's exactly what I was going to tell you. Yeah, they might think, oh, he's not coming. So they start really feeling better by themselves. 100%.

Right. And then you realize they don't want to chat with you anymore, even though they liked it, but at the end, it's all really bad. Yes. Women don't understand that. They take that personally. Oh, he doesn't like my body. He thinks my pussy's ugly. Like, who knows what they're thinking, but for sure, the woman, I'm a woman, so I know, okay? The woman's brain is going to go to, he's not attracted to me. There's something wrong with me. Because that's... Yeah, I think what's wrong with me. She's going to call the friends and go to them diet and all the all kind of bullshit. Yeah, the stuff that's how women think. And listen, I know, because I have a lot of guys as my friends, not to personalize certain things because, look, you're online and you're not coming and you're telling me, you're being honest now, right? That it has nothing to do with the women.

You just don't need to come. And you're really turned on and happy with those women, but they might see it in a very different way. Right. Exactly. But that's like, listen, who cares? Because you don't need to change that. If that's what you're interested in doing, I just don't understand it.

That's my whole thing. Like, I don't understand the sort of, like, what, like, what are you getting out of it? No, if I was a woman, I wouldn't understand it. Listen, even if I was there, a guy, I wouldn't understand. A lot of guys, they just, you know, yeah, they want to show up, but they want to have a satisfaction of coming in. No, there are guys. No, I'm telling you, there are other guys that have called my show and guy friends of mine that I know, like, this one with the show. Like, there were times where he wouldn't need to come, but he would just like to be hard and, like, sort of, like, in his mind.

talking dirty and stuff without having the come. Right, but after a while, your balls are, it's really painful. Right, so, but why do you do that? That's a good question. Yeah, you're the, you're the, listen to yourself. You just told me it gets to the point where your balls are painful. Like, is it some sort of, like, torture for yourself? Like, did your guy's mom's, like, I think it's, like, a mom thing

or, like, some sort of weird thing with these men, that think that they need to please a woman so much and they're not allowed to be pleased. Like, I think it's something deep like that, but I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, it's something deep psychological. I agree with you. Right? Like, look, you just said your balls start to hurt and it's painful, yet you still don't let yourself get, like, calm.

It's, like, weird. And yet you need that woman to really be into you. So I think that that's like some sort of, like, mommy thing. I mean, not to turn you off to the whole scenario. Yeah, I mean, so listen, I'm not like, you don't have any serious problems or anything. I mean, you know, it's just like it's what you like to do. Do you need to change that in your life? Is it really that big of a deal?

No, you know, but I just think it's funny to sort of analyze it because you just, I wonder where it comes from, you know? Also, sometimes it's a lot. I tell you, sure, that's a dilemma. I wouldn't mind to go out there. you know, I don't think I would have to do that. I love my wife, and I don't want to cheat physically. And I know the feeling, you know, I haven't cheated my girlfriend. I'm not going to cheat.

Maybe it's the moral thing, maybe it's dogma, whatever it is. But sometimes just, just, just, I kind of live, you know, that moment in my mind, you know, and we're talking about what kind of sex we have, how she's going to come, and, you know, all the virtual discussions. Yeah. Then, you know, even scientists prove either you, you know, you think about it or you're doing it, the same signal for your brain. So I guess somehow you're having it.

Totally. Yes. And listen, I do think it is better. Like I said in the beginning, like you make your own sort of rules and regulations for yourself, what's okay with you and what you could sit with. You know, and for you, you know, that you can. cheat. Yeah, you know that you can't cheat, that that would make you feel bad.

And I think that that's a great thing. That means you're pretty, you're very empathetic as a man and, you know, you're very, like, you know, attached to your feelings and you feel like how that would feel for your wife, that you can't do that and not feel bad. So you don't go there. So I think, though, what's hard for men is men are wired differently. We already discussed that, right? In that you need a little bit more sex.

You're way more horny than your wife. And that's always most of the time going to be the case that the, The man is more horny and he has sex on his brain all the time. My guy friends are like, Kathy, I walk down the street. I live in New York, right? They're like, I walk down the street and I see a girl across the street. And if the wind blows and her skirt flies up and I see her leg, like, I'll go home and jerk off to that girl. Like, women aren't like that.

You know what I mean? I wouldn't jerk off, but I would immediately get excited to start having these imagination. Right, right. Women aren't like that. We don't walk down the street and look at guys' dicks in their pants and be like, oh, my God, that's so hot. You know, it's like we're very different. So, you know, the fact that, you know, as a man you're married, if I was married to a man like you, right? And, like, he was really faithful in that he couldn't go have real sex with a girl.

But, like, he was doing virtual stuff. I think that's not so bad because as a man, you're going to have those sort of, you know, feelings to have a little bit more variety than a woman, right? But yet you want to be in a marriage. Right. And so if that's as faithful as you could be, I think that's pretty faithful and pretty good. you know, by being true to who you are as a man and but being true to your wife. Now, I think a lot of people would disagree with me and say, like, that's totally terrible what you're doing.

Sometimes you feel bad about it. So that's your thing. So maybe there's like a line that you cross sometimes that isn't right. You have to figure out what the boundaries are within that that make you feel okay. Do you know what I mean? And make you not feel okay. Because when you start feeling bad about something that you do, then you know it's not kind of right.

And that's where you get into trouble with yourself. because like I said, you make your own roles. Do you understand? I do whatever the fuck I want. And if I don't feel bad about it, that's my business. But if I do, then that's also something that I have to sort of make a note of and sort of change my thing because we're our own keeper. That's what I believe.

You know, so I don't know. I think maybe you're feeling like what you feel guilty about is like there's an imbalance. Like maybe you're doing it a little bit too much. And I think you should try to pull back. So you feel a little bit better about yourself and can still do that. Do you know what I mean? Right. Not to have guilty, but if I do it, do it.

Yeah, but no, no, but whatever you feel, try to figure out when you feel guilty, what is it because of? And then once you figure out what is it because of, then you change that. Like I said, it's like all about boundaries. Like maybe you're crossing a boundary or maybe you start to feel bad when you're doing it too much or when you're doing it at work and it's getting in the way of your life and you feel like, oh, this isn't right. And then you should tell yourself, like, don't fucking do it at work. you know, have a little discipline and control it.

Do you know what I mean? And that's like, that's a difference between being an addict and being a moderate person, right? The addict can't stop drinking. The moderate person could say, I'll have four drinks and go home, right? And so if you feel like it's getting in the way of your work or- As long as you're controlling the thing and not the thing's controlling you. Right. So start to take notice when you feel bad.

If it's like I said, if it's because you're doing it at work and you feel like, wow, I can't believe I just left my deal. dust to go in the back and be horny and that makes you feel weird about yourself, don't do it. And then this is how you kick an addiction, okay? The next time you're at work or doing whatever it is that you know is the wrong thing, no matter how much you feel to do it, deny the feeling and ignore it. Okay. It's the hardest thing the first time and the second time.

But eventually you break that addiction and if you don't feed it, it becomes less of a pull. And that's really the way that you do it. I've quit smoking. I've quit drinking. I've quit a lot of things. I'm pretty vicious with, like, discipline. So I really know how to do it. It's about breaking those connections in your brain that you created.

And they become very powerful when you feed them. You have to trick your brain. Yeah, because you know what? You tricked your brain into, you know, creating this connection. And then you feed it and make it stronger every time you listen to it. It's no different than somebody that's addicted to chocolate. It's the same shit, you know. So whatever it is, if it's at work,

You don't like to do it because I think you said something about work and you go in the back and then you do it and sometimes that's maybe what you don't feel right next time you feel when you're don't do it Don't do it. Decide that you're going to only do it at home at night for this amount of time and not at work and stick to that and eventually I'm telling you after you just deny yourself from doing it a couple times at work you'll break that and you'll feel free there's nothing worse than feeling sort of controlled by something it's a much better feeling to feel in control of yourself You feel a slave to that thing. You what? Like sometimes you feel like you're a slave for the thing. Yeah, and you don't want to become that. You're an adult, right? Like you're in charge of yourself.

You take care of yourself. So you have to take, it's important to take good care of yourself because that is what builds self-esteem, right? And if you start not being able to take control of yourself, and it starts to make your self-esteem go lower and then you start not feeling good about yourself. And all that stuff is not good. And you don't ever want any of this shit to leak into your marriage.

If you decide not to bring it into your marriage, that's fine. You know, but you have to keep it in control. Because what happens with addiction is that most of the time, what happens is that people need more and more to get them off. Like eventually, you know. Like any drug, like any addiction, because you give in and the same portion is not enough anymore. And if you were showing it to one woman, then you have to have three of them at the same time watching. and then so on, so on. And you look to control.

I absolutely right about me. Right. So that's what you have to watch out for. That in two years from now, you're not calling my show. And I'm like, oh, my God, Kathy, I just sucked some guy's dick in a gas station. I don't think that thing will ever have to. You know what I mean. You just don't know where it goes because what happens is, you know, what gets you

to horny, you need a little bit more and more. And you don't want to cross the line because. you already said that you wouldn't feel right to really cheat on your wife. You really love her. But what happens is you could do things that you don't want to do. You know what I'm saying? Like I have sex addicts that call my show. I have one guy who's, it's amazing podcast to listen to. And this is a guy that feels really bad about what he does. He fucks a lot of hookers behind his wife. And it just like escalated into that. And he doesn't have any control over himself. And he feels terrible about it. So you don't want to get into a place where you cross the line. And it's so hard to.

get out of and you're doing something that is against what you want and that would be like really meeting up with people in real life and really cheating on your wife and that could ruin your marriage and that could really happen so that's what you want to watch out for but in the meantime you know have your fun and just put a little

a couple boundaries on yourself and do it and I think if that's the way you're releasing your 40s. I'm talking to you this woman with tight and I'm looking at it immediately I just one pull those tight down and it's like a lot of

from me, you know what I'm saying? Oh, so someone's texting away. It's hard to listen to you. It's hard to hear you. So you just said that right now while we're talking on the phone, you're getting a text from a woman who's trying to like sex with you?

No, no, not the text. No, I was driving and the pedestrian just walking in a really tight, tight. And she had a nice ass. And I just immediately saw it. I just got hard in a second. Yeah, that's normal. I'm excited about it.

That's how guys are. That's okay. I mean, you know, what can you do? It's like it's tough. I think, I mean, you're 46 or 45 is what you said? How old are you? 45. You're 45.

You know, hopefully by the time you get to be 50 in your 50s, like that kind of slows down a little bit. And that's just a hormone thing. Like you'll start losing testosterone and you'll be a little less horny and it'll probably be okay for you or maybe better for you if you don't take Viagra. If you want to remain crazy, you could take Viagra. All right It's true It happens

It's nature It's nature's way Of not having you go out And fuck a million women And have babies So your sex drive goes down a bit You know You're still horny

Because you could still go procreate You know So that's what drives you It's like you're an animal Right You're an animal And you're male animal And male animals

Are supposed to go out That so you're given this intense sex drive So you are fighting nature Yeah That's amazing I'm sad I think it would be great To do this nature

everybody's naked on the beach with the palm trees, and it just fuck everybody you meet. Exactly, exactly. I wouldn't have a show because then people wouldn't be so messed up, okay? Because what we all put on clothes. Yeah, exactly. It would be like normal. It's like normal.

It's like you want to eat, you go on the tree, you get a banana, you eat it, and you're fine until you're hungry again. Exactly. Life would be amazing. Yeah, and then you have, and like in tribes, like there's tribes and villages that you hear about. And people wouldn't be so sexually surprised. and then psychotic and shy and the messed up on the head.

That would be amazing. Exactly, don't you think? And then you as an animal could just screw any female animal that walks by, and then the female animals don't get jealous because as female animals, we're just supposed to, like, you know, have babies and, you know. Exactly. We just have babies. I think it's much better to be the male.

I think it's better to be the male animal. Why? You got to choose? It's harder. It's harder. The female animal has the harder job. They do more work. It's funny. It's a nice conversation. I'm really enjoyed. Cool. I'm glad you called in. And so just like, you know, I think like I honestly think, you know, if you were my guy friend, because I think that there's different levels of cheating. I always see that. And it's very true. And there's like the worst kind of cheater is the man who's like emotionally and physically cheating on his wife.

And then I think the lowest form of cheating is what you're doing. And I and I don't. And I think that, you know, if you're going to have to do it and you're going to have to be a guy and you have a very strong sex drive, I think what you're doing is the best. And I think just keep it in check. Make sure you keep it in check. Right. Maybe you can set up a night a week or whatever it is. It's going to be scheduled fun. Totally. Put limits. Smart.

That's smart. Great structure so you know you function normally the rest of the week. And then one night from 12 to 2 you do your crazy stuff and then you go to sleep and you know it's like a gym. That's your gym time. Exactly. That's so smart. That's exactly what you do.

That's called creating balance. for yourself and that'll make you feel better and uh that'll take the edge off and it won't be such a pull for you and it'll be more enjoying that way you know you'll enjoy it more because you'll be in control and you'll you're it'll be more balanced in your life so yeah do that yeah okay great it was fun talking to you guys thank you thank you i'll let you know what i'll uh i'll post your podcast soon um a lot times i have people back on and i love to hear what happens I'm hoping you never call back in because you get your shit under control and nothing terrible happens. But if something does terrible happen.

We'll be in touch. I would love to talk to you again. Okay. They have to be just show. Right, right. But make sure also that you, I always say this to guys, because guys are sloppy, make sure wherever you do your business online with these women, you never let your wife find out on the computers. How do you keep that separate? Of course.

No, I just, first of all, she doesn't go into my computer. She's very trusting and she's not thinking. No second, even knowing that I just erase the history. Yeah, because sometimes she might go on not looking to snoop or anything and just for another reason to find it. So make sure you're very good with that, okay? That's the other advice I have. I'm good.

Yeah, it's my personal computer. I put it away every time it's the laptop. I'm using, and even even even doing that, I'm still erasing the history. Okay, good. Okay, keep that up too. That will be stupid. That would be really, really bad. Exactly.

Exactly. All right, cool. Thanks, Gary. Thanks for calling in. Thank you. Take care. Bye. Bye.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order. order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third

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people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.