Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1001 - GIRL TALK: Opening Up Your Relationship, Swinging, Being Honest about Your Kinks and More w/Lexi Sylver
Episode Date: January 1, 2025Lexi Silver called in to discuss opening up your relationship, swinging, being upfront about your kinks and fetishes and more. Tune in to hear all the details including how to you bring up your secret... desires with your partner, how and why you need to first release the shame about what you’re secretly into, how and why role-playing is great way to bring your kinks up, the thing most people fear when thinking about being honest about what they’re into, how over communication is key to being successful when it comes to opening things up, how and why going to a swingers club and not doing anything is a great first step, what goes down at a swingers club and what to expect, how you have to speak up for yourself and how important it is for your partner to receive it, the rules that should be in place when first swinging, how any kind of previous baggage can and will get in the way, the top questions about non-monogamy she gets and the answers to them plus a whole lot more. You can find more advice and work with her here: https://lexisylver.com **To see HOT pics of LEXI plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast use code: CF2F4 for 25% off your annual membership. Discount runs until 12/31 MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order https://beducate.me/anonymous40 Get BEDucated! For 40% off PLUS a FREE 24-hour trial, click the link and use code: anonymous Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I think people are hooking up over there.
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Go to Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.
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podcast app, okay, because they charge you way more over there for some reason. They did something
where just go to a desktop and sign up or go to the description. If you click on the link,
that's the best way you're going to get the regular rate. Now listen, the last thing I want to tell
you about is if you want to join the lifestyle, you know, if that's your New Year's resolution,
you want to let your freak flag fly after listening to my show all year. Well, then you could get a free
child to SDC.
STC is like the largest adult dating site out there.
What I love about SDC is not only are they a lifestyle, not only are they a dating app where
you could like-minded people, they also have so much information on there.
There's educational information, all about everything lifestyle related.
And then you also get information on all the meet and greets and the hotel takeover parties
and the gangbings and all that kind of stuff that's going on in your neighborhood or wherever you're
traveling to, all of that information is all on SDC. And you get a free trial. If you go to sDC.com and use
my code 37712 or just go to the description. You're going to click on the link in there for SDC and you're
going to get the free trial. So today is my New Year's Eve episode and I'm kicking it off with a girl who
works at SDC, Lexi, and I'm airing her episode because I feel like maybe this is people's New Year's
resolution. You want to join up and get into the lifestyle. Well, then you need to listen to Lexi's
episode. She was on before. She was a girl who got into the lifestyle solo. And she became like the
swinger club coordinator. I mean, she was just no director more so. She just like took over. She was
always into non-monogamy and being with multiple people and group sex and all that good stuff.
that's her backstory but you know the way i met her was through SDC everyone knows i work with
sDC now i love their site she works there like doing educational stuff on there uh about the
lifestyle so it's like and she also does like life coaching and stuff and has like seminars on
entering into the lifestyle for couples and newbies and all that kind of good stuff so i was like why
you come on for a girl talk episode next and that's what we talk about today and that's what we do on
this episode it is a girl talk episode lexy's on giving you all
all the information you need to know if you're like a newbie couple looking to get into non-monogamy,
the lifestyle, swinging, all of the above, because it happens to be different.
It's not just if you want to become a swing or just if you want to open up your, you know,
uh, relationship.
If you even just want to like start talking about your kinks and fantasies with your partner,
she has some tips for you.
That's what we talk about.
She's like, like I said, she's a life coach for couples.
She's like a, uh, you know, who want to get into the lifestyle.
She says she doesn't just talk to a couple.
talks to singles, couples, and even three people. She'll do three people. I guess that's polyamory
couples or throuples. She coaches them. And she talks to people at all stages of the game, like I said,
to the couple that's role-playing, the couple that just wants to tip their toes, the couple that's
hard swapping, full-swapping, you know, solo play, all of the above. We talk about it all. It's a super
interesting episode if you want more information and if you're thinking about possibly bringing
up non-monogamy to your partner or if you've already talked about it and you're thinking of
into it. This is a great episode to listen to. All of her links, her link actually to her coaching and all her
informational articles that she writes about are all going to be in the description. So anyway,
I'm going to be right back on with Lexi. Hi, Lexi. Welcome back to the strictly anonymous podcast.
How are you today? I am so good. Thanks for having me back. I love chatting with you.
Yeah. Well, listen, you were on previously and you gave your whole backstory. You,
You are a woman who's in the lifestyle.
You're super hardcore if you ask me, you know, because you got into the lifestyle.
People have to listen to your episode.
You got into the lifestyle.
Like as a solo woman, I don't know if you would have called.
I don't remember.
Did you call yourself a unicorn?
But you weren't really a unicorn.
You weren't just hooking up.
Right.
So maybe you started with just being a unicorn, but you hooked up with a lot of people.
It's not like you're just strictly with couples.
I mean, it's like to guys and all kinds of shit.
Did you do gangbangs?
I don't remember.
Is that a part of your thing?
I
Oh my God
I love how you're
You have to ask me that
Because you've had so many
Amazing guests on your show
Who have done like some crazy things
Gang Bangs are one of the things on my list of things
That I have my bucket list rather that I haven't done
Oh
No yeah but I mean
I mean like almost I could pretty much check off like a good number of the other boxes
Of everything that interested me to do that I did
Yeah
Well I love that you still have things on your bucket list
because what you're on here today to talk about.
Now, first of all, your first episode is 935.
Lexi's into swinging, group sex, exhibitionist, and more.
I mean, you were like the cruise ship coordinator for the swingers club, right?
You go in there and get the party starting.
That's what I remember about you.
And that's where you're like, ballsy, because you were a single woman navigating.
But anyway, but you also do life coaching.
I know you from SDC, which I have a great partnership with them now.
And I love their site.
and I give people like the free trial to join SDC, right?
I'm always like shamelessly plugging it for people to join there.
And what I love about SDC is that, you know,
not only can people meet people there.
They can learn about gangbangs and swingers clubs and all that.
But they could also learn stuff.
And how they learn is through articles written by people like you.
You are someone that works on SDC.
And you teach people about the lifestyle, all different things from like how to get into it,
how to think about it, what to do when you're in there, right?
Like, I mean, all kinds of topics.
And you do do coaching.
So I think that, like, you're such a great person.
I'm like, let's do like a Girl Talk episode where we talk about all the kinds of stuff that you talk about on SDC.
What I wanted to focus on today, I think, because I think a lot of people listen to my show, couples who are maybe monogamous and are thinking about getting into the lifestyle.
Now, I've heard from all kinds of couples, couples who, you know, dip their toes into it by just like soft swapping.
couples who, you know, just go to a swingers club and just like fuck and don't do anything else.
Couples who thought they were going to open up, but they decided to just send videos to other couples,
couples that just role play the hot wife scenario with each other.
There's all kinds of ways, I think, to spice things up, right?
But I think what it all starts with, and we're going to talk about all those different ways,
and you're going to talk to people about all that stuff and also talk to people that wants to just, like, get into hardcore,
hooking up with other people.
But I think what it always comes down to it, what it starts with is people,
putting their secret desires and fantasies on the table, right, with their partners.
I never knew that so many guys were into seeing their girls fuck other guys, but there's a lot of
guys out there that are into that. And they're not copying to it with their girls, but they're
listening to my show and they're salivating by all these other guys that have got their girls
to turn into hot wives. And they, you know, I'm like, how do those guys do it? Like, how did those
guys approach their girls or even girls that are listening that want to hook up with another girl
or hook up another guy and have a threesome with their partner.
How do they cop to those kinds of things?
I think that's where it starts with first, right?
Communication.
Well, before it even starts with communication,
like a person first,
they have to be cool with whatever it is that they are desiring or wanting.
Like some people have a lot of shame,
sorry,
a lot of people have shame surrounding their sexual fantasies and desires.
And even their needs,
like even if it's like a need for love or a need to like,
you know, some people have a need for.
exclusivity when it comes to relationships. Some people have a need to be open, but it's very hard
because, you know, like that shame that maybe you're taught because you, for some people who grew up
in, you know, conservative households didn't really learn much about sex and were shamed for
wearing a skirt that was deemed too short or for having, you know, like for whatever their desires
are. I know some people who, you know, maybe they got caught like masturbating by like a family member
and were shamed for it and then had all kinds of issues like surrounding like sexuality.
And this stuff happens.
So before you can even communicate to your partner, you have to know for yourself, what is it
you really want?
And it's okay to have desires and even fantasies that maybe you don't even want to make
happen in real life, but maybe you want to talk about it with your partner because, you know,
someone you or someone you trust.
Like, it's, there's some things that are, you know, sometimes better leftist fantasies for some people,
but there are also some things that maybe you really do want to explore, you really want to see,
is this for me or not, you know, for people who got together, let's say with their, with their partners,
maybe their current partners, young or in their 20s, maybe you didn't really have a chance
to explore and experiment with like other people or kink or things like that.
And, you know, you may have to, we all evolve over time.
Your fantasies from then are maybe different from what you have now.
It's important just check in with yourself.
Figure out what it is that makes you hot.
What is it you want to try?
You know, what's out there?
So going to a site like SDC, you know, you can get an idea, like an idea of what is out there?
You know, what kind of maybe, you know, you're like, I don't know, what's out there for kink?
I'm very curious.
You know, you learn a little bit more about, wow, maybe it does interest me for someone to dominate me.
Yeah.
And sort of just get your learning on and see what's out there.
You don't know what you don't know.
So once you open your eyes to possibly, and your mind, your heart, your body even, your legs to the possibility of new things, you can really start to, you know, imagine like, oh, that is something I might want to try.
maybe I want to talk to my partner about doing that in real life.
Yeah.
And yeah.
So like for like figuring out, wow, like what's out there?
What is it?
What are the full range of possibilities?
What are even some possibilities they never considered?
And just seeing, well, maybe there are a couple that, you know, get you wet or get you
hard.
And you're like, huh, I really do want to watch my partner fuck someone else.
You know, if that's the case, great.
Then so once you know about that,
you know, like removing the shame from it is fucking sometimes that's not as easy as it sounds.
It's not just like, oh, okay, cool.
Not embarrassed or ashamed about it.
You know, like I, you know, I have a specific kink or fantasy or something I want.
Is it fucked up that I want to watch my wife get fucked by a bunch of men?
No, it's not fucked up.
That's actually really hot.
Maybe she'll find it hot too.
Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you about the fact that she wants to get fucked by a bunch of other guys.
Yeah, but maybe she's going to be like, what the fuck?
Like I feel like, you know, I've heard from these kinds of people at all different times in their life.
And like, I think it is very scary to bring different things up to different people.
And the hot wiping one, especially to a woman, because the woman always is going to think two things.
One, and I hear this from the women who are maybe hot wiping now, but when their husband first brought it to them, they were like, do you not love me?
Like, why would you want to see me with someone else?
And the other thing they typically think is like, is this a trap and you just want me to do this so you go and fuck other people?
Because sometimes just because your partner's into something doesn't mean you will be into it, right?
Like your partner wants to see you fuck someone else.
But maybe you're not into seeing your partner fuck somebody else, you know?
And that could be a problem unless that guy is a true stag or a cock.
Like typically those guys that want to see their girls fuck other guys, they could give a shit about fucking other women, okay?
the guys that want to fuck other women and their girls are fucking other guys, those are swingers.
You know what I mean? It's like a different breed of person. But I think that it's scary to bring
those things up. But I always think it's like if you're, once you get past the shame of it,
you know, it is a great thing to start role playing scenarios. Maybe don't go to your girl and
say, hey, let's go. Would you want to go fuck other guys? Like just why don't you start just
talking about it and role playing it in the bedroom? No, no, no like sort of.
pressure to do this in real life. I think that that's a great way to start things up.
Maybe don't go to your girl and say, hey, let's go, would you want to go fuck other guys?
Like, why don't you start just talking about it and role playing it in the bedroom? No, no,
like, sort of pressure to do this in real life. I think that that's a great way to start things up.
Definitely. And to do that, you know, you have to also feel like you can have that kind of
openness with your partner that you can have that. That's a communication. Yeah. And the lack of
judgment, right? Because some people, I love some people. A lot of people in couples, I coach a lot of
couples. They find it very challenging to tell their partner what they want, not just because of
necessarily like their shame, but also they're, they're afraid of what their partner is going to
think. You don't love me. They don't, you know. What about you? You're so fucking gross. Like,
what the fuck? Yeah. There's that too. Or what's wrong with you? You're fucked up. You're
fucked up, like, you know, or you're a sled or, you know, it could be very, you're making yourself
so vulnerable by telling your partner what you want and like talking about sex. Like, it's very
tough. Like, I know a lot of people before they started swinging, they were afraid to tell their
partner like, hey, I want, you know, to watch you with other people. I want to play with other
people because then, you know, you're like, oh, what if my partner thinks I don't want them anymore?
That's not the case, right? So when you're, you know, bringing, before you bring stuff up to your
partner before you even get to the role play like think about how will how do you think they will
react like how do you think they'll actually react to what you you know you have to say and is this
something that you want to like is this like a deal breaker for you is this like you've had a
fantasy of getting tied up your whole life and you want to like make it happen but you know you
don't know how but like you want your partner to help you with it or maybe try it with them
because you have this like you really really need to if it's a deal breaker
like that where you really have this like me that you really, really want to do it, then it's
probably a good idea to tell your partner about it. And if, listen, the worst thing that can happen,
unfortunately it sucks is they have a reaction like what we just said. What's wrong with you?
All of that. I think explaining to your partner first before you bring up the fantasy that you love
them, that this doesn't change how you want them or feel about them and making them feel
more secure. So when they hear the fantasy that you have, they are already like, okay, my partner
still loves and or desires me. And that is important to like really remind your partner of that
as you're explaining this. Now, fantasy doesn't have to happen in real life. You can explore it
as a fantasy and see where that takes you guys. But yeah, it takes that communication. Like,
you have to have a lot of trust in your partner. Trust is a hugely,
foundational element of any healthy relationship open or otherwise. So, you know, having that trust,
being able to, you know, feel comfortable talking to your partner about anything, unfortunately,
that's not as easy as that sounds. Yeah, but it is a domino effect. Like seriously, like I feel like
once someone does, like takes that plunge and just does it and gets past that fear. And even if they,
you know, I've heard every kind of story out there. And I've heard stories where the partner
reacts negatively at first. And I've heard those stories change over time. You have to keep communicating.
It's not the fucking movies. You're going to bring up to your wife like, oh, I want you to go fuck another guy.
And she's going to be like, oh, my God, I've been thinking about fucking other guys forever.
And then the next day you're going to be fucking other guys. She most likely is going to be horrified.
You know, and you got to talk to her. Like, sometimes it takes time to communicate. But that kind of communicating, that happens.
because one of my favorite questions to ask couples who are in the lifestyle is like how has this
opening up your marriage change your relationship and the answer is always like it made us so much
closer because they have to over communicate over communicating the communicating that it takes
the communication that it takes to be a successful you know couple who's open in the lifestyle
that kind of communication that those people have brings them so much closer than the typical
like vanilla couples who are like in groundhog day uh you know
barely talking to each other because they have nothing left to talk about each other.
They've been with each other for so long.
It introduces a whole new thing to talk about and that talking goes a long way and brings
you closer in ways you can never even imagine.
So just like fucking throw it out there and then continue to talk about it, especially I say
people with fetishes.
Like I'm sorry, but like people with fetishes don't expect that you're going to put your fetish
on the table with your wife or your girlfriend right away and they're going to fucking get it.
you've been sitting with this fetish for years.
It probably took you years to figure out what the fuck it was.
You know, you have to educate them or they have to educate themselves.
It takes time for people to wrap their head around things, you know, for the guy that's
like jerking off thinking about their girl fucking someone else.
It's like, you've been sitting with that fantasy for a long time.
But like you need now for your girl to sit with that fantasy for a while.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So I think like not just it's that communication, but it's continuing to communicate for a while.
I think unfortunately sometimes, you know, you just know who you could say things to and who you can't.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, and that's like an unfortunate position.
I've been with guys where I'm like, I just kind of know that I can't sort of tell this person about something because like that person isn't into like raunchy, kinky things and he's more into, you know, like, I don't know, sensual sex.
And, you know, that could be a problem in certain relationships.
but that's where I think like maybe role playing comes into play.
I don't know.
You tell me.
Yeah.
And I mean like, you know, for one thing, like, you're absolutely right as far as like, yeah,
you might have had this fantasy for a long time.
But if your partner is just hearing about it now, let's say years into your relationship,
they're not at the same level as you.
So they have to catch up essentially in that way.
And that's also part of where, you know, getting more information, like that way
you can provide that to your partner if they're like, well, I don't understand what is
cuck holding exactly? What does it mean to be a cuck? What is it what is it you want?
What do you wonder? Like to better understand what it's all about. So getting the information
helping your partner better understand what it is that you're asking for is a really,
really good step and can really give. But then give them time. Give them time like to actually,
like you said, to let it sink in. And also like to do the research.
they want, you know, to like to really get a better understanding, to talk to you about it.
To, you know, so like putting yourself out there, who knows? Also, they might have some things
that they want to share. And by you making that first move and sharing something you want,
might invite them also to share something that maybe they have not wanted to yet, like, disclose to
you. And you might be surprised. Just like you probably surprise them with what it is that you're into.
So there's usually, especially when it comes to opening up your relationship, there is usually one partner who's the like faster partner and like who is like already like has wanted this for a while, has fantasized.
So they're ready to like fucking get started and like jump in, right?
Yeah.
But you know, even if your partner's like, okay, that sounds interesting, let's explore it.
That doesn't mean go and fucking go to a swingers club and fuck everything that moves without having conversations with your partner about what it looks like.
doing things sort of step by step. You don't want to ruin like the process before you even
get started, you know? So I'm giving your partner an opportunity to like really understand you,
right, to understand you better to have more conversations about, okay, if we open up our
relationships at Cuck Holding, what does that look like? What, you know, is this just a fantasy?
You want to play with it as a fantasy? Is this something you really want to do in real life?
Like that's the thing. Some people have fantasies. They just want to be, you know,
they want to be spoken to in a particular way when they're fucking.
They want to, you know, maybe be tied up or, you know, like there are, there's so many
different things that people can do in the comfort and safety of their own bedroom before
exploring the outside world and incorporating whatever those fantasies are into their day-to-day
life or into their life in general.
I had a great couple who were very into hot wifing and they decided this is what they were
going to do.
They went on Reddit.
They started like sending picks and stuff.
stuff with other couples and then the guy you know because they were role playing it out but they were
ready to take the next up but then the guy bought a fucking machine at home and when they incorporated
that fucking machine as like the third person in their relationship they decided to never
open up their relationship the exchanging of videos with other couples and the fucking machine
at home and role playing that that fucking machine was another guy wound up being enough that they
decided that they don't want to like you know sort of chance things and open up they weren't
they weren't that sure about it, right?
And they were so happy doing all of that that that's where they were at.
And that's what they decided.
They decided to not cross the line after they got the fucking machine.
I'm like, oh, what an interesting episode to put out there because this is maybe something
that other couples can do that don't, that want to remain monogamous, but want to like spice
things up, you know?
Why not?
I know a couple, for sure.
And like, whatever works for the two of you, you know, like, I know another couple who,
Like they, uh, one of them had, uh, a fantasy about, you know, uh, watching like, you know,
like a, like a cucking fantasy and, you know, like, she wasn't into it, but they were,
they were able to role play in like they were, she was into it in real life, but they were able to
role play in such a way that she would, you know, like tell him about things that she wanted to
do to other men or, you know, things she'd done with other men in the past.
and that aroused him enough and was enough for him.
And like that was, they didn't even really need to explore like doing it in real life.
So yeah, I mean, that's whatever works, you might be surprised, right, as to what your fantasy,
when you reveal that to your partner, what that can actually do for your relationship and
the new things that you can experiment with.
Well, listen, let me just tell you, a lot of times roleplay does lead to women crossing the line
and doing things or couples crossing the line and doing things that they never thought.
they would do too. I mean, you never really know, right? You can make a plan. You can
never decide a point of, you know, a map of what's going to go down or whatever, you know,
and it could go completely the opposite way. I've heard every kind of story. You know, I've heard
some swinger gone wrong stories and those are the couples that just walk in and do whatever
they want the first time without any rules or boundaries or conversations. But I have heard
from couples that go in without any rules or boundaries or conversations, walk in and wind up
just throwing a caution to the wind and having a great time in them being fine.
I mean, you know, all different things work.
But I think typically if you're going to, if you start with role playing, you might be surprised it might lead to something.
And if you're deciding to take that plunge and go to a swingers club and maybe try non-monogamy, those conversations, you know, I think 99% of the time should always be about like what's on the table, what's off the table, right?
Boundaries and rules and regulations, correct?
Oh, 100%.
And I mean, for those people who have gone who are like, let's just jump in and figure it out as we go, very, very few people, very few couples, very, very few will succeed at that.
The main, like, you, I mean, that's very rare.
For the majority of people, there's always, like one, there's always, there's usually one partner who's more, you know, is more trepidation about actually, you know, like either watching their partner with someone else.
Am I going to get jealous?
Is he going to get jealous?
Like, how do I feel about it?
You know, not really knowing.
And a lot of that hesitation is warranted because you don't know how you're going to feel
until you're in the situation.
That's why boundaries are so important.
What's on the table?
What's off the table?
How far am I willing to go?
How far are you willing to watch me go or to be with me and join the mean, like, where are we at
with this?
And imagining, like, how would I feel?
Like, you know, if you already feel,
feel like if I watch my partner with someone else, I'm going to tear that person's hair out.
Well, maybe you need to slow it down.
Yeah, you're not ready.
And that's okay if you're not ready.
Doesn't mean you'll never be ready.
It just means that right now you really need to take it step by step.
The first thing you could do if you, you know, because not all open lifestyle play happens
in swingers clubs, but it is a very good environment where you already know the people who
are there, are at least, if they're not up for it that night, they're interested in the
possibility of playing, right? So, you know, even just go, you can always just, like, you know,
suggest your partner, let's just go and watch. And literally all you do is watch. You don't have
to do a thing. Just see how, what it's like, even just being in such an erotically charged,
like, place is really, really helpful for your relationship, very good for your sex life,
even if you do nothing at all. It also takes off a lot of pressure. It's,
not like, oh, you know, let's just go and see what happens.
The idea of let's see what happens is scary.
Exactly.
Because once in there, maybe one person's like, oh, my God, I want to get out of here.
And the other person's like, oh, my God, I want to jump into that orgy.
You might not be on the same day to each as your partner.
So make sure that, like, you know, you are both sticking to what you say you're going to do before you even get there.
So have, if your plan is we're just going to go and watch, you know, like that is the maximum that we're going to do.
We both agree on this.
that also takes trust.
You have to know that your partners are going to try to like sneak off or whatever and like go and fuck somebody while you're not looking.
Oh yeah, I've heard all the stories too.
So, you know, like it happens.
So making sure that you and your partner are on the same page before you are in a scenario like that also makes you feel more comfortable.
And they're like, okay, we're just going to watch.
Yeah, totally.
And that's it.
It's a great first step.
And it introduces you to the idea of like, wow, you know, like, I.
could handle that. I was able to handle just watching. I was, you know, what else can I handle? And maybe
the next time, the maximum thing that you do is maybe you and your partner play with each other while
you're there. Just the two of you. Yeah. You know, there are lots of couples in the lifestyle
who are all about being watched and they don't even care about playing with anyone else.
Yeah. And explain to people, Lexi, since you're in the lifestyle. You're not just like talking from
a book, right? Like, you're in Swingers Clubs. You live in that world. Like, is it cool for couples just
to go there or not do anything. There's no pressure, right? Like, you got to explain to people,
because I think some people don't understand. Do they have to walk in and be naked? Do that, you know,
what is the vibe and like how safe can you be or like, you know, kind of explain it to them?
So when you, so the idea of going to a swingers club for someone who's never been is very intimidating for a lot of people.
Because it's like, oh my God, am I going to walk in, like you said, right, do I have to be naked?
Do I, does it mean I'm there that I'm saying I want to have sex with people? No, it's like when you go into a swingers club for the most part,
when you walk in there is a
like I want to say a normal area
so people are wearing clothes
even though it might be a lingerie if there's
theme party or whatever and there's
some people are naked you don't have
to be and usually there's like
an area where you can lounge
or there's a bar
you know it looks very much
maybe there's some stripper poles on the floor
there's usually a dance floor
there are you know
it looks like a club
for the most part
but people are probably dressed
much sexier than they normally would at a regular nightclub, let's say, especially if there's
like a sexy theme going on that night. And then there are other areas of the club that are maybe
private, so some places have private rooms where you can go just with your partner or with another
couple or somebody else or multiple people. And sometimes there are rooms where you can go ahead
and, you know, see if somebody wants you to join. There's already action going on. And in
In some more European-style places, there are some open play areas where everyone can watch,
you know, and you can see, you can ask for consent to participate in some of the play that's
going on with each, you have to do that with each individual.
You can just, like, add yourself into the equation.
So it's, the areas are separate enough so that you can just start in the regular, like,
club area, the regular sort of, like, bar area before you get into the sexy area.
And you're not expected to do anything.
Just because you're there doesn't mean you're there to have sex.
Just because you're there does not entitle anybody to touch you without your consent.
Just because you're there doesn't mean you need to do anything at all.
So it's really all up to you what you want to have happen.
And it's important to remember that like you and your partner have to be on the same page.
as you're going and making sure you're sticking close to each other so that you both feel comfortable
in this environment together. So it's not as intimidating as you might think. And it's really exciting
for a first time or even if you have no intention of, let's say, ever really doing anything in the
lifestyle. It is hot. Like I have told a bunch of monogamous couples, like as something to try
just to spice up their monogamous relationship. Go to a swingers club. I think so. Go for an event.
And yeah, dress up sexy.
Enjoy yourself.
You don't have to do anything.
And they're like, that was so great.
That was an amazing experience.
It was so erotic.
We ripped each other's clothes off on the way home.
Like, we couldn't even like get all the way there.
We have to stop the car.
I've heard some like, you know, it's, it's amazing.
What just something like that can like do to like supercharge your relationship.
And if that is something that you're really enjoying, go back and, you know, see if there's
something else that interests you.
And, you know, check with, check in with your.
partner make sure that they are comfortable and on the same page. It's it that that is one way,
one really, really, really good way of introducing you to what it could be like. Yeah.
Should you want to open your relationship. Yeah. And I think that and it goes back to communication.
I think a lot of times, I mean, you got to make sure you're in a solid relationship, of course,
where you feel comfortable to, you know, look over at your partner and, and you could be in the
middle of something that you've agreed to and say, you know what, this isn't for me. And your partner's
going to be cool with it. And I think that's like,
the biggest fear is, you know, maybe feeling like not right about something and maybe it being
not heard or whatever, right? I just think it's so important for anyone at any time. Like I said,
even if you're doing something that you agreed upon for someone to be like, you know what? No,
I'm fucking out. And that's what it's all about. If you can't, if you don't have that kind of
respectful partner or you're, you're not going to give that to your partner, it's never
we're going to fucking work because I don't care how professional a couple is or a solo person is.
Even you, Lexi, I'm sure.
Sometimes it's just the way the wind blows that day.
You might feel a little fucking jealous for no reason.
You don't know.
And you're allowed to have that feeling.
And you're allowed to speak up about it.
And your partner should receive that with no fucking judgment and no defensiveness.
And that's really important.
And I think, you know, if you don't have that kind of comfort or that trust with a partner,
it's not going to work because, you know, like I said, even the most professional couples will have stuff like that come up at certain times.
Oh, definitely. And there's always this fear for the person who wants to say something.
Yeah. They don't want to be the party pooper. So they just kind of like go along with it and then they feel jealous and resentful and hurt. And it's like, well, and then when they tell their partner why, you know, like their partner's like, well, why didn't you just tell me? I would have stopped, you know? And because your partner,
if you have a good relationship at least, wants you to be happy, wants you to have fun.
And if they see that you're not having fun, why would they want that?
They don't want you to be hurt.
The idea of opening up a relationship usually is to help bring you closer together
by experiencing new things together as a team.
So if one of your teammates is having a bad time or is not like really, you know,
they're really uncomfortable, you don't want to continue playing.
It's time to like stop for a minute.
You know, so safe words are great.
You know, also like making sure you keep checking in with your partner, like seeing what they're doing, how, you know, having different ways to communicate that is great, especially in the moment.
But having a safe word that stops everything, then that is, and making sure your partner will respect it is important.
It is your right.
Okay.
If you're afraid of being a party pooper, being like, oh, but my partner's having so much fun, I don't want to ruin it for him.
You know, there's this fear of missing out.
you know it's like oh well what if we never do this to have a chance to do this again there is usually
always another chance to do it again maybe under circumstances where both of you feel more comfortable
and we'll have a more positive outcome for you and your relationship so it's okay to say no it's okay
to say stop it's okay to use your safe word at any time that you feel you need it because your health
your mental health and the health of your relationship are at stake so don't risk it by being quiet
when you really want to say something.
Yeah, I always say like, don't twist yourself into a pretzel for somebody else.
You know, you have to really, and that's where I think it's most important before you ever
even walk into any of these kinds of situations that you are communicating in a way where you both
feel comfortable to speak up like that with your partner, because you're going to need to be
able to speak up like that with your partner when you get into that world, you know, when you get
further into it, right?
I mean, because we're talking about like the couple that is now in the Swingers Club and maybe is
going to start being non-monogamous and is going to start, you know, getting people into their
relationship. I had a girl on recently and her and her guy just started to have an open relationship
and they were doing great. Everything was great and she had a therapist on hand for no other reason
then she just wanted it in case something happens down the line. I'm like how fucking smart is that
to be proactive, right? They were navigating it great. Like everything was fine. No jealousy was
coming up like, you know, but they were at the very beginning stages and she decided to get herself a therapist
to talk about things just in case.
And I think that that was like really smart.
It really is having resources at hand, whether it's like a therapist or coach.
Or you like a coach.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really good because also then, you know, if you do intend to open up your relationship
and you don't know where to start, I work with a lot of newbie couples, a lot of,
and there are a lot of common fears that you, like, you're not alone.
Like everything that you are probably thinking is something that somebody else has probably thought before and is worried about or doesn't know how to navigate.
There are, like you would mention before, overcommunication, you will have to over communicate in your relationship.
The things that you would normally, like normally in a monogamous relationship, you're not talking about, well, am I okay with watching you like suck somebody else's dick?
Because these are not normal like questions that happen when, you know, like you're preparing your morning coffee type thing.
Like these are not your everyday questions.
So imagine you have to, you will at some point, if this is something you want to do, break down like the things that you are and aren't comfortable with.
It could take some time.
It will require communication.
And then as you're experiencing new things together, then talking about like debriefing, how did you like that?
What would you like to do differently next time?
Like, and figuring it out, adjusting your boundaries and, like, and communicating,
communicating until both of you are comfortable with whatever is going to go down.
So that communication, you need to be able to talk to your partner.
You need to be able to express if things are going well or not well.
And be able to talk about, like, you know, and be received, right?
Your partner has to receive that.
But also how something and they're like, fuck you.
Well, it's not great.
Yeah, but also what's great is to have somebody like you on hand, like a life coach or a therapist, that is a lifestyle person that understands that whole realm, right? Because I feel like maybe someone has a therapist that they've been going to for a long time and they've been just talking about their regular feelings. So maybe you feel freaked out to bring up swinging and maybe that person's like super conservative and vanilla. What do they fucking know about the lifestyle, right? But I love that. You really know, right? Because you live in that world and you also are a life coach and this is what you do. So you could really help them now.
Because sometimes it's very helpful to talk to someone other than your newbie partner.
They're just as, you know, clueless as you are, right?
So I think it's great to have someone that's kind of professional, been there, done that,
help guide the way.
That's what people are listening to podcasts for.
That's why people listen to my show, these newbie couples.
I get emails them from them all the time.
I used to do paid calls where people will call up and ask me questions that they should be asking you, you know, like me and my husband,
want to open it up and we don't know, you know.
and I would do calls like that with people because people are going to podcasts and stuff to learn.
And it is those newbie couples.
And I think it's great that what you offer somebody, which is, you know, therapy, quote unquote,
or life coaching, you know, for newbie couples that maybe want to take the next step and have
somebody that they could talk to that could coach them through it every step of the way.
Because every step of the way, different things may come up.
It's not like you're going to learn everything the first night.
you know what I'm saying, right?
Oh, of course.
Like, you can't even, even once you start exploring, you're, you might be surprised.
Like, oh, wow, I wasn't expecting this to come up.
Exactly.
Like, you know, sometimes it's things like boundaries.
Let's say you play together and separately.
Okay, so that requires two different, there are three even sets of, you know, boundaries.
When I play separately, I can do this.
But when I'm with you, I can do this.
And like, it's, it requires a lot of negotiation.
right? It requires sometimes compromise because I always, always tell newbie couples who are opening up, like start small and build up. So sometimes the person who is closer, like the faster partner, let's say, the one who is more interested in opening up, might want to do a lot more things faster and be impatient with their partner that it's taking them so long to, quote, catch up. So being patient and allowing your partner,
some time to like adjust, then, you know, that is going to really, really be very helpful. And that also
will help your partner feel more trusting of you that you're giving them the time and space to do that.
So, you know, if you're brand new, like, and you're really, really thinking about this,
then talking to someone like myself or even going, I have a new season of Swinging 101. It's like my
webinar series. I also have videos on my site about it, like different Swinging 101 topics. It is
really important to get more information
about the things that you
want to do about what the lifestyle's about
and understand how you can
explore it within that.
You know, so it's,
the information is so important.
Getting customized help, right?
Because like you can go on Reddit and find threads
about all kinds of stuff. How do you know if it's
right for you or not? No, I know. I think you're
having someone specific to talk about your,
like I said, they come to my podcast to learn and they
do learn from hearing other people's stories.
But eventually, if you want to make this
thing. You're going to have your own story that's going to be very specific to you because I've heard
every story and I could talk to 50 swingers and each one has a very different path, you know. And so you don't
know how your path is going to go, but I think it's super helpful. I mean, I just love therapy in
general for anything, but I think if you're in a solid relationship and you want to keep it
solid and you want to have a successful open marriage and get into non-monogamy, I think it's
great to have someone coaching you along the way.
because like you said, you don't know where things are going to go.
I have a lot of couples who are into swapping and they figure out over time, like, you know,
and they're professional.
They've been doing it for a while, but they're starting to, like, feel like they're taking
one for the team because it's pretty hard to find four people that are all totally into
each other at the same time, right?
So what typically happens sometimes, and I've heard the story is that what they wind up doing
is they wind up playing solo with people because they're so annoyed with having to find
couples that they all agree on, right?
So they do start to play solo, but I got to tell you most of the time when they switch to
that, that's a very hard thing to navigate.
And, you know, I talk to them when they're typically on the other side and things are
great and they've gotten to a great place, but never do they not say it was a very
difficult path to get there.
Like that was actually super hard, right?
But they were able to navigate it because they talked through it.
One couple, like they told me, they got a therapist and they work through it because
she was horrified at first that her husband started liking the woman he was playing with solo.
But, you know, so many years later, she looks back and she's so happy that she got through it and she was able to work through her feelings because she got to the place where she felt like, you know, playing solo and her having a boyfriend and her husband having a boyfriend and them still being together and in love totally works for them now.
But it wasn't an easy process, but because she had help, she was able to get there.
Instead of throwing it off the table.
Like, oh, the minute something's wrong, you know, oh, we got to stop.
That's not necessarily the case.
No, it's not necessarily the case.
And sometimes it's about like, what is your mindset going into it?
Like, also, you know, there are factors in your relationship that also play into what you're cool with or not cool with when it comes to like you're open, the open part of your relationship.
Because, you know, if you, let's say are not getting like intimacy, intimacy and sex are not the same thing.
Okay.
sex is sex, right? And may or may not be intimate for you. Some people see sex as intimacy. Some people see sex as sex.
Intimacy is like that feeling of connectedness that you have with your partner. And you could get it in a variety of ways that are non-sexual. But if you're noticing like, oh, wow, I'm not really getting a lot of intimacy. My partner doesn't like come and hug me or, you know, hold my hand or like hang out with me and watch a movie. If you're not getting intimacy, like that kind of feeling of connection,
And then you go and you see your partner being like, you know, kind of cuddling with somebody after sex and it's not you.
You might start to get really fucking jealous, not because of the sex.
Right.
Because of the intimacy.
So, you know, figuring out where you're at also making sure you're in a solid place in your relationship, if you have trust issues, if there have been past betrayals in your, in your relationship, like it may be tough to move past.
that and then open up your relationship.
You need to deal with those things first.
Because if you don't,
whatever shit is requested or pent up
that you've not dealt with or not talked about,
it's going to come back up somehow.
And you don't know how that might happen.
So making sure that you're in a solid, solid place.
You're feeling good with your partner.
You are trusting each other.
You're open to talking about anything without judgment.
You are being honest.
you're willing to accommodate each other's boundaries and respect them.
You know, that's a good solid place to start.
What are the typical things when you're getting like newbie couples hitting you up?
Like what are the typical maybe like the top three questions that they have or issues that they come up with that you hear a lot that you could maybe talk about?
I don't know if there are those.
One of them is about they're scared of STIs and SDDs.
Oh, that's interesting.
sexual health. Yeah. Because, you know, they've been monogamous for so long and they don't, you know, there's this misconception that people who are swingers or who play in the open lifestyle are, you know, everybody just fucks like without condoms and it's like a fucking free for all.
Totally. Like, you know, and no one gets tested, you know, like, I would say the average lifestyler has probably gotten tested more times than the person that you're trying to hook up with on Tinder. So watch out.
The thing is...
Completely agree.
Yeah.
Like, it's, you know,
sexual health is a very, very high priority thing.
And it is normal to be concerned about that.
Making sure that is something to,
when you're opening up your relationship to other people,
like one boundary that a lot of couples have is condoms only.
So no unprotected sex oral or otherwise, let's say.
Although, I mean, like, again, your boundaries, your rules might blur.
They might change, whatever your comfort level is.
you know, but that's something that you have to then communicate to other people.
Like, you know, like if you're wanting to play with a couple, but you haven't yet told them that
you only play with condoms, well, and you're about to play, well, that's the time to mention it.
And, you know, people in the lifestyle are very okay with talking about sexual health.
Don't be afraid to ask somebody if they've been tested or when they were last tested or how many
partners they had since they were last tested.
But also, be prepared to disclose your status.
to disclose your test results, to disclose your partner count.
Right.
And be okay with it on your end too.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Everybody has their own risk level, like their acceptable risk level.
So if you, you know, like, and it's okay to be uncomfortable.
If you're like, ooh, I don't know, that's too risky for me.
You've had 50 partners since you got tested last week.
I don't know about this.
That's okay.
That's a lot, right?
For some people, that's a lot.
For somebody else who's like, oh, well, I had some.
70, so whatever, we're good, you know? Like, it really depends. It really depends on what you and your
partner are comfortable with. You have to both be in agreement about it, obviously. You can't be like,
oh, well, I'm not going to use condoms, but you have to. It doesn't work that way. I also work both ways.
But, you know, getting tested regularly, depending on how much you're playing, for people who, you know,
like, I'm not a doctor. That's something you might want to talk to your doctor about. Also, if you've had,
like a high-risk encounter, like the condoms slipped off or, you know, something like,
that and you're like, uh-oh, what's going on there? You might want to get tested and, you know,
maybe refrain from playing until you get those results. What other concerns do you have coming
through with the people that you talk? Yeah. Other than sexual health, jealousy is a huge one.
Sometimes it's, I'm worried my partner will be jealous. Like, my partner wants to watch me with
someone else, but I'm worried that they're going to be jealous and it's going to cause a whole thing.
Yeah. They're going to be mad because that's a projection, don't you think? But it's a valid one, right?
because you maybe, because I hear that a lot too.
And it's like, you know, because you can't imagine that your partner, if you can't imagine
that someone that loves you is not going to be jealous when they see you fuck someone else.
It just doesn't go together because we've just been taught and like what the societal norms are is like you,
someone that loves you wouldn't.
And if someone cheats or goes fuck someone else, oh, they don't love you, right?
Like that's always like kind of the thing.
And so I think that's always a feeling like that they're going to be, like they might say
they want it, but when they see it, or they're.
going to be jealous or are they going to see me as a whore? Like I've heard that from women before
for sure. Yeah. Oh, I've definitely heard that too. The thing is, is like, look, you cannot control
how somebody else is going to feel or react in any situation. All you can do is be aware of what is
going on. Be aware of your partner, check in with your partner and check in with yourself about how you
feel. You cannot, I say this again, you can't control if your partner will or will not get jealous.
but what you can do is make sure you're sticking to boundaries you both agreed upon
that were made so that your partner and you would both feel comfortable in open scenarios.
So stick to the game plan that you both put together.
And if jealousy arises, and I have a whole webinar about this is called How to Deal with Jealousy?
Okay.
If shit happens, all right, then take a step back and don't continue.
If one of you feels jealous, use your safe word.
Everything stops.
you can go home, you can debrief, you can cool down, and think about what it is, what made you
jealous specifically. If maybe you have never been jealous, like you said before, right? Some days
you might be jealous, some days not. Sometimes it's with a particular person. Who knows? You have to
explore that. And only once you realize, you better understand why you felt jealous, then you can talk
to your partner about it and say, you know what, it was the person you were with. It was the way
were looking into her eyes or the fact that you kissed her. And even though it was on our list,
I didn't realize it was going to feel that way. These are all okay things. But jealousy, like,
jealousy is not always a bad thing. Jealousy in amounts that fire you up and you're like, oh my God,
I want to, like, I can't deal with this. That can be very harmful. But a little bit of jealousy
could be very arousing. Oh yeah. That's, yeah. I know that. That's like that I learned from my show.
A lot of cucks. Like that's, you know, sometimes they have stuff in their
passed and they kind of took that that energy and turned it into a turn on, right? Like that jealous
energy, it's like the same thing, right? But they sort of like channel it into being turned on and that
becomes like a hot thing. That's like the cuck queen cuckled scenario, which can be very hot.
But I think like, listen, I talked to a lot of couples and I could get a vibe off of them. And it's like,
you know, if you're in a good enough place with your partner, which you should be before you go into
this, the jealousy comes up. As long as you're communicating about it, it shouldn't be a deal breaker.
Like it's not going to break you up.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it's like, okay, you're going to, someone's going to get jealous.
Like even worst case scenario, someone fucking flips out.
She saw it so she can't unsee it.
She's really mad or him, vice for, you know, you go home, you talk about it.
Like, okay, let's never fucking do that again maybe.
That's what the conversation is.
But, you know, you should be at the point where you're able to work through a situation
like that, that it's not going to like be the end all, be all of your relationship.
If it does happen anyway.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, for sure.
And the thing is, jealousy is a normal emotion.
And you can be jealous, even outside of your romantic and sexual relationships.
You could be jealous of, you know, oh, your colleague got a promotion instead of you, right?
Or, you know, you could be jealous of attention somebody else is getting.
You could be jealous of a lot of things, a lot of people.
It's not, it's just an emotion.
Don't let it rule you.
It doesn't have to rule you.
It doesn't have to ruin your relationship.
As long as you're willing to work through it.
and as long as you're willing to acknowledge that you felt jealous,
a lot of people have shame around feeling jealousy.
Like,
I'm not going to feel jealous.
And then they feel jealous and they're like they don't want to tell their partner about it.
And then they,
yeah,
that's not good guys.
That's not good.
And listen,
you know what jealousy really is?
And it's very true.
It's just when someone else is like,
like to me,
jealousy is like a signpost.
Like if you're jealous that your friend got that promotion,
well,
then maybe you're not happy at your job and you're looking for a promotion.
Your partner's getting more attention
because they look fucking great.
Like maybe you need to start working out and looking great so you get more attention.
It's like whatever you're jealous of is like something that you're not doing for yourself.
So it is kind of like a signal to you.
And sometimes you could use it in that pot.
That to me is like a positive way to look at that emotion.
It's just telling you what you want for yourself.
So stop looking over there and getting pissed off about it and go fucking get it for yourself.
And so that's why jealousy comes up with your partner because that's the person you want and someone else is fucking them.
So it makes sense, you know.
But maybe you can't.
If that's like a thing and you don't, if you can't roll with that, well, then it's not, it's not for
you.
And that's okay.
Like, I don't think that non-monogamy is for most people.
I really don't.
I think a lot of people are monogamous by nature.
I believe those people exist and could never be non-monogamous.
But I think what's important and what I like to talk about on my show is that it can also work,
though.
You know what I mean?
I think a lot of people think non-monogamy can never work.
But no, it absolutely can.
and a lot of non-monogamous couples and couples out of open marriages are closer and have like wonderful
relationships because of it. And that's what I'm here to say. And that's what I think isn't known the most.
You know, most people think even fucking Dr. Drew, I fucking hate him now because he'll be like,
oh, that never works like anyone that does that. It's doomed for failure. No, it's not, Dr. Drew.
When was the last time you talked to a fucking swinger couple? Maybe you fucked them with your wife last night.
You know what I mean? Who knows what he's doing? Do you know what I mean?
and the, but it's bullshit.
You know, I've talked to couples.
It can, you know, it exists and it could be great, but it's, but it's not for everybody.
And that's okay.
No.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
Just like binogamy is not for everybody.
Being open is not for everybody.
Yeah.
Even if you're, if you want to be open, you don't have to identify as being a swinger.
You don't have to say, I'm like, you know, like just, just explore either solo or, you know, solo,
like if you're a single, well, you know.
But like, or with your partner, just, you know, explore what's possible together, talk about it,
research, like talk to a coach, you know, do some, do some like, you know, exploring in that way first
and just get a little bit of a better idea about like what you may be getting into or what you could
be getting to, or rather who.
Yeah.
Now I'm going to sell you, okay, because we're at that time.
And I'm going to push the shit out of you because I think what's,
what you're great for. Like if there's, you know, listen, when I, when I introed you, I said, like,
you navigated, uh, that world solo. So if like, if there's like, I have women that listen to
my show and just want to be freaky and maybe they want to go and navigate the swinger world solo.
Like how great to talk to someone like you to help them navigate that or the newbie couple.
You know, you could help those people. Why don't you give a shout out to like where these kind
of people can find you and all that information. Like you said, they could hire you for coaching.
You have videos. You have informational stuff all over the place, right?
like give your shout out to everything.
And I'll put links, though, to everything you say,
but just give the shout out and tell people what they get and where they get it.
So everything is on my site or multi,
I have multiple sites.
Let's start with LexiSilver.com.
Lexi with an I,
Silver with a Y,
as I like to say.
And you can find me for coaching.
I coach one on one, two on one and three on one.
So I,
yeah,
I do,
I've,
I've had a very,
like,
how should I say,
this ranged client list over the years. And, you know, I, what I, like, I also have my Swinging
101 webinar series and video series. So, you know, events are coming up next year, 2025.
I don't know, I don't want to date it or whatever because, like, I don't know when they're
listening. But as, you know, like, there are lots of videos of past webinars and stuff.
You could learn about anything from swingers clubs to, you know, newbies guide to the lifestyle,
what the fuck to do when swinging goes wrong, how to deal with jealousy.
Yeah, so lots of great topics.
Definitely you can get a lot more information about that on my site.
And yeah, I also, and erotica authors,
so there's some erotic books on my site too that you can peruse.
And some of them are about my real life experiences in the swinging lifestyle.
Yeah, if they listen to your first episode,
they'll know that you're writing from experience because you have done,
I'm surprised.
never did a gang bang, but I'm sure you will eventually work up to it. It hasn't made its way.
It hasn't made its way off my bucket list yet. I think you're just too busy working. You're a little
workaholic. I know that. Because like I said, I know you through SDC. But I do think you're a great
resource. I love that you do coaching. I believe so much in therapy coaching, whatever you want to
call it. You know, just like having help is like a great thing. And especially I think super helpful when
it's somebody who's been there, done that, right? Like you didn't learn about the lifestyle from reading a book or
something like you're you're really live in that world but you're also you know living in the
SDC world and teaching people and you're an educator. So who better to help people than for you? And
I get people listening to my show all the time that would, you know, need somebody like you. So I think
it's like great that you came on and we talked about this because I think that it could only help.
I agree. Oh wow. Thanks so much. I really I love talking to you about this stuff. It's awesome.
Yeah, you'll be back on. We're going to, I'll put links to your stuff. What do you want me to
put the Lexi Silver.com, is that where they can find everything, right?
Everything.
Everything links out to whichever other sites or socials or everything like that.
The hub is LexiSilver.com.
It's perfect.
So I'll put that link there.
I'll have you back on to talk about more topics.
I do a Girl Talk episode every now and then.
So like you'll be a girl talk person.
It's great.
And thanks for coming on and talking about all this stuff.
It was super interesting.
Oh, send me some hot picks though too for my Patreon.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
I will.
Thanks, Lexi.
Bye.
Thanks.
Bye.
Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession,
Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook,
but you can pre-order the audiobook.
It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.
The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.
I kind of picked one story from each category that I've got.
talk about it on my show, like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a
cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the
third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I
wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct.
It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But
These are true stories, 17 of them.
They're really short chapters, easy read.
You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around.
You could read the whole book.
It's available in eback format, paperback format.
And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th.
But you could pre-order it now.
And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord.
My Discord does not disappoint.
There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me.
Okay.
I give it to people who buy my book.
There's tons of people in there.
Everybody shares content with each other.
And that's what you get to do there.
You could post your own pictures and videos.
There's tons of channels.
We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.
It's a super fun place to be.
It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.
I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.
It's private, like I said.
all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook,
the ebook or the paperback.
Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.
That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.
And I will send you the link to Discord.
So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.
This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.
Good news.
Strictly Anonymous Podcast.
is looking for people to call into the show. So if you lead an interesting, naughty secret
life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out
and proud, that's cool too. Send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's
strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on
be on the show. If you have a short confession that you want to get off your back,
call my confessions hotline.
347-4-20-3579.
That's 347-4-2-0-3579.
You could call that number 24-7.
I change all the voices on the confessions, too,
so you remain anonymous.
The number, the website,
and the email address will all be in the description.
If you want to follow the show,
follow me at Strict Anonymous on either Instagram or Twitter.
That's at Strict Anonymous.
and if you want to sign up for my Patreon,
you're not only supporting my show,
but you're going to get all of these episodes early and ad-free.
You're going to get anonymous picks of all of my guests.
Most of the girls send me in anonymous hot picks of themselves,
and some of the guys are sending me in anonymous picks as well.
You also get access to my private Discord
where people are getting super naughty.
If you sign up for my Discord, you could post whatever you want
and talk to my other listeners.
To sign up for my Patreon, just go to patreon.
dot com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The links and
everything else I spoke about are all in the description. Thanks so much for listening.
