Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1071 - How to Navigate the Swinger World as a Newbie Guy: All You Need to Know w/Lexi Sylver

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Lexi called in to talk all about how to navigate the lifestyle as a newbie guy and gave great advice on using apps, swinger party and club etiquette and sooo much more. Tune in to hear all the details... including why single men have such a bad rap in the lifestyle and how and why that makes couples wary, the major things you should NOT do when trying to hook up with a couple, why its beneficial to make friends with the husband first, how to get noticed as a newbie on a lifestyle app, why it’s important to learn about the Lifestyle first and where to find the info on SDC.com, what you should include and what you shouldn’t include in your online bio and why it’s important, the bets types of pics to post besides pics of your dick, how to find gangbangs and swingers clubs and parties in your area and the kind of info that’s available, what’s the difference between meet and greets, meet and mingles and munches and what goes down at them, how to use an app to find people to hook up with while traveling, what to expect first time you go to a swingers club or sex party, how to say no and how to handle it when someone else says no, how to cope of when you “cant get it up” and how to still have fun plus a whole lot more. To find out more about Lexi, click here: https://lexisylver.com To get your FREEEEE SDC.COM Trial click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712  **To see hot pics of LEXI and my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors:  https://butterwellness.com/ For 20% off your Butter Wellness perineum massager use code STRICTLY https://bluechew.com Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON https://beducate.me/march2025 Use code anonymous to get an additional 10% off the campaign’s current discount - that’s 60% off Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. So if you have an interesting, naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, you could be on the show. Just send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on being the show. That email will go directly to me. If you have a secret confession that you want to leave on my confession hotline, you could do that whenever you want, 247, call this number 347, 4203.
Starting point is 00:00:30 579. That's 347.4203579. The number is in the description. Like I said, you call that number 24-7, but do me a favor and make sure you're in a quiet place when you call. Make sure to hold the phone up to your ear and don't call me when you're fucking driving and your windows are down. Or even if your windows are up, don't call me when you're driving. Uh, I don't air those episodes. All of those confessions, uh, some of those confessions actually make it on to confessions episodes. The rest all go on to my Patreon. Now my Patreon is super fun. You get a lot for joining. The $7 tier, you get every single anonymous confession that has come into the Confessions hotline. There's hundreds of them. You also get every single picture of all of my female guests and they are super hot. Okay, these are R rated sexy hot picks
Starting point is 00:01:20 of my female guests. You want to put a body to an episode. They're all on my Patreon. You also get Q&As, which I do every other month, where I answer any kind of question you have for. for me and people ask me all kinds of questions over there. You also get early and ad-free episodes. Literally, you get all the episodes before everyone else and they are ad-free. And you also get access to my private Discord, which is super fun and super naughty. I built a whole community over there. There's a lot of stuff going on on my Discord. And people are literally hooking up. And what I love about my Discord is people get to talk to each other. Like I moderate everything on Patreon and people make comments and I talk back to them, but it's not like you could talk to other people and they
Starting point is 00:02:03 could talk to you and you could post things, but you could do all that on Discord. And my Discord is a not safe for work site, so it's all locked down. So you could do whatever you want in the safety in there. Okay, you could only get into my Discord through my Patreon. Or right now I am doing something where if you pre-order my book, I wrote a book, it's out. It is up online. You could find it on Amazon. You can find it on Simon & Chuster. I think there's the Kindle book is out now. But it's like, not coming out until like October, but they have it up for pre-order. So if you want to pre-order my book, it's a bunch of short, sexy stories taken from my show told in the third person.
Starting point is 00:02:40 So they're like hotter stories, not interview style. They are in my book. And if you pre-order it and send me a screenshot of your pre-order, I will give you free access to my Discord. And that's a really good deal. If you want to join my Patreon and get everything else I told you about plus the Discord, that's $7 a month. go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.
Starting point is 00:03:00 It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast or just go into the description and click on the link. Don't go through your Apple app because they're going to charge you more than seven bucks. Okay. It should only be $7 and you will only be sure $7 if you go through my link in the description. Now listen, if you want to join the lifestyle or just learn about the lifestyle, then you need to use my free trial to sDC.com. SDC is like the largest adult dating website out there. All of my listeners love all my callers. Love it.
Starting point is 00:03:31 That's why I partnered up with them. I promote SDC because I believe in it. It's a great place to sign up for and I can offer you a free trial. And what's great about SDC is not only is it a place where you can meet like-minded people and hook up with them. You could also learn about all the stuff in your neighborhood. Or if you're traveling someplace, you can find out about all the stuff going down. there too. You will learn about the gangbings in your neighborhood, the swingers clubs, the
Starting point is 00:03:56 swinger parties, the hotel meetups. You also, like, they also have educational stuff going on there and podcasts and it's just like a whole world on there. And the great thing that I have for you is a free trial. So you want to check out SDC. Use my code 37712. That's 37712. Use it at sDC.com. Or just go to the description and click on the link. Oh, I have one more thing to say. I really have been begging for reviews, which I never like to do. Some part of me was like, oh, I can't ask for reviews. I feel so weird about it. But I did recently.
Starting point is 00:04:28 I think it was for my birthday or for Valentine's Day. I'm like, oh, do me a favor. And some people did it. And I loved it. And I love getting the nice reviews over on my podcast. I get people emailing me all the time. And I really love when people send me an email because I love to know that people are listening to my show. I mean, I get lots of downloads.
Starting point is 00:04:44 My show is like really big. And my audience has grown. And, but I really do love hearing from the actual people who are listening. So it's always super great. but I was like asking people to actually write a nice review because then I could read them over there and it actually really helps the show. So if you love my show and you've been listening to me for a while, go write me a nice review on Apple. It really helps the show and I love hearing from my listeners. And thank you to everyone who has done that because I read every single one of them and I love it. Okay, today I have on Lexi Silver. Lexi Silver is so fucking wise and smart. She showed up today to talk about how to navigate the lifestyle as a solo guy and she gives so much great advice on this call okay like we get real specific about a lot of things like what to do what not to do when it comes to online dating and hooking up as well as like how to find events and stuff in your neighborhood as well as what to do
Starting point is 00:05:40 when you get to the club or the party how to act as well as what to do if your dick can't get it get it up at the party we talk a lot about how to you know get in good with a couple of what to do, what not to do. Oh my God. We talk about so much stuff I can't even like remember or list it all in this intro. You're just going to have to listen. You're going to be fascinated. It's a fun conversation, like I said, with a lot of great advice, tips and tricks to
Starting point is 00:06:10 use. If you are a newbie to the lifestyle, you're going to want to listen to this one. What's great about Lexi is she doesn't just talk the talk. She's not just here telling you what to do. This is a girl who got into the lifestyle on her. own as a solo person a long time ago. She called into my show. Her backstory will the number will be in the description if you want to hear her backstory. She is in the lifestyle very much so, but she also now works in it. She works at STC.com. She writes a lot of the articles in there. She's got a lot of articles on
Starting point is 00:06:37 her website. She does webinars. She does life coaching. She could help you further. She life coaches a lot of guys, a lot of newbies who are getting into a lifestyle. So she offers those services too. If you're looking for something like that. I love that she offers it. And what I love about her, like I I said is she doesn't just talk to talk. She's like she's in the lifestyle. She's been living in it as a single person herself. So who better to help you. Okay. She's going to help you a lot on this podcast. She's got a lot of information that she talks about on this podcast. And then if you want to go hire her or get more information, you could get it on her website, LexiSilver.com. The link is in the description. But anyway, I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Lexi. Hi, Lexi Silver.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Welcome back to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? Oh, I am great. Thank you for having me again. Thanks for coming back on. We're going to talk bigger picture today. I have your backstory. You're like, you are a solo girl that entered into a lifestyle by yourself. You really love threesomes, lots of guy and guy action, all kinds of stuff. Okay. If you want your backstory, I'm going to put that number of that episode in the description. But you also called in afterwards. We had another talk because you like you do some like coaching for people in the lifestyle. Today we're going to talk bigger picture again.
Starting point is 00:07:52 I wanted to give single guys and unicorns too, like solo people, advice on how to enter into the lifestyle or not even just enter into the lifestyle. There's advice on the lifestyle in general as a solo guy or a unicorn. You were a solo woman entering in, but you also do work for SDC.com, right? I know you from there as well. So you know how to navigate sites like that as a solo person because you entered into the lifestyle as a solo person, you know that you're a writer. So you write a lot of articles on this kind of stuff. So that's what we're going to focus on, right? Like the solo guys and the unicorns?
Starting point is 00:08:30 Absolutely. Because, you know, just being solo, you'd think that it's maybe easier because you don't have to contend with having a partner to be on the same page about, but it's much more challenging, actually. So we'll definitely talk about that to make sure that, you know, single guys and solo girls can really enjoy themselves, like safely and know how to navigate. It's not, it's not, it's not, It's all something you learn in school. No, not at all. And doesn't like the single guy have like the biggest stigma attached to them when it comes to the lifestyle too? I mean, isn't that one of the first things that, you know, that they have to like realize is maybe there but doesn't have to stop them from moving forward?
Starting point is 00:09:12 So a thousand percent, first of all, we all know that there are a fair share of single guys. Sorry to the single guys for everything that I'm about to say. Sorry for the guys who are gentlemen. Okay. But unfortunately, the ungentlemanly bunch have ruined your reputation. So couples, especially, are very vigilant when they're vetting, when they're looking for a single guy, right? It's just, this is, it's important, right? Being and we'll talk about vetting in a minute, but you need to be respectful. And unfortunately, a lot of guys who were not respectful in the past have tainted your reputation and a lifestyle. So couples are very wary. There is much more competition with single guys because there are, you know, like you, there are just so many of you. So you have to really stand out. And that is not always easy. It's not always easy to sell yourself and to, you know, be seen by a couple. So I'll give you some tips on that after. Like, I'll let, you know, I'll let the process unfold for
Starting point is 00:10:20 today however you'd like to order these questions but it's definitely very very fucking challenging for single guys to navigate and I talk to single guys all the time I've like I've coached a good guys who are single in a lifestyle I've done dating profile consultations for how to improve do that I love that that's a smart business to get into especially in I mean listen I think that people probably do it on regular dating apps but I feel like on the lifestyle and dating app like SDC, right? Like, it's even more helpful because, like you said before, couples are very leery? How are you going to get that couple to pick you over the 150 other single guys that are in their inbox when they put it out that they want a guy to fuck them, their wife, right?
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yeah, and it's like, it's really challenging. And unfortunately, I don't know why this is the case. So many single guys have never gotten the memo to not send unsolicited dick picks, please. tell me how do you not know this by now guys how do you not know this by now do you think that this is what i think it might be it's like you know i only ever shopped for sex toys when i was horny okay and that's like a big problem okay because you wind up buying so much shit you're like what the fuck was like why did i i didn't need 18 things you know but like i was so horny at the time i'm like buying and up at the storm it's like going shopping when you're hungry you know food shopping yeah
Starting point is 00:11:43 you know i think that they're on the site looking and they get like a heart on it And they, you know, when you are hard, horny, you know, like in that, you're like in an altered state and I think they're just not thinking properly. So maybe like go on there and think about baseball or think about something gross. Like you're not, you don't get horny and do stupid things because then they start thinking with their dick. And they send the dick pics like, hi, here I am. I don't know. I always feel like that's what they're saying. Like, hi, here I am.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Here's my dick. Well, well, you know what? That's actually very funny because they are kind of shopping, you know, for me. or, you know, like, you know, like kind of that's, that's very funny. Yeah, like you know what? They get horny. They get horny. Sure.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Sure. But you know what? You know who doesn't get horny or hard? Are other people receiving this without invitation? Okay. Totally. You know, and then you'll get blocked. You'll get reported.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Like, things like that happen. It's important. Like, respect is such a fundamental thing in, like, anywhere. But in the lifestyle, you have to have respect for the couples. Like, one. And, you know, it's okay if, like, you ask permission, like, hey, can I, you know, send you some pictures? And they're like, yeah, sure, send away. Let's see your dick.
Starting point is 00:12:57 That's different. But it's very different when you're just like, hey, you want some of this? It's like, dude, you know, there are hundreds of guys within a, like a one mile radius of me where I can go fuck. I don't, you know, why? Like, you know, really? Like, it's not, it's not enough. There has to be more, you're more than just a dick, guys. okay, give yourself some credits.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Oh, fuck. I don't, you know, why? Like, you know, really? Like, it's not, it's not enough. There has to be more, you're more than just a dick, guys. Okay, give yourself some credits. Yeah, and you gotta take it seriously. Yeah, and think about who's on the receiving end, like you said,
Starting point is 00:13:36 they're not, like, logging into their account when they're like super horny most likely. They're looking for real hookup. They're taking it seriously. And they want you to take it seriously. So try not to go in there, like, you know, It's too horny, but would you say that's like the number one worst thing to do that couples complain about when it comes to single guys? The dick pick? What the being just, yeah, dick picks for sure.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Another major no-no is singling out one person in a couple. Just because you're attracted to her doesn't mean you can't, you can ignore the fact that he's like her partner. He is probably going to be the one vetting you. Like, you know, a lot of men in the lifestyle very protective of their feet. of their women because there are a lot of guys who are, you know, not, like, again, like I said, not gentlemen. There's safety issues. There's a lot of stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:27 So a lot goes into, let's say for a couple, like for if, if, let's say in a hotwifing dynamic, okay? In a hot wifing dynamic, just for context people, the hot wife is essentially like, will, will fuck like another man with full consent from her male partner. and he is usually not always present. He's, you know, she'll go off on dates, things like that. That requires a lot of trust. So they will vet you.
Starting point is 00:14:56 And you have to be respectful to both. If you're not, if you're like, oh, you're so hot and you ignore the man, he's going to be like, well, fuck this guy. Like, not literally. Actually, screw this guy. Like, no, forget him. But if you, and she won't take kindly into that either because you, it's still a couple. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:13 It's not like if she has a single profile and it's just her, that's different. But when you are addressing a couple in person or online, you have to be respectful to and address both of them. Yeah, listen, I have had a lot of bulls on my show. And my bull episodes for me have always been the most entertaining. There's something about bulls that are like, they're just a fucking good time. Okay, I can't explain it. And the funny, the interesting thing is, and I've done polls on my Patreon, like, why are
Starting point is 00:15:43 people the least interested in that person in this dynamic. People will listen to the hot wife episodes. People will listen to the cuck and the stag episodes. But the lowest downloaded episodes are the bulls. And I'm sorry, but those are the people you should listen to because those are the people that know what the fuck to do to fuck other guy's wives. Because all the bulls I have on are successful. And you know what they always do exactly what you said? They become friends with the guy. And you want to know why? Because not only is that fucking cool and the guy's going to respect you and and then the wife's going to like you and like everyone's happy. But also, you're going to find out what the wife likes.
Starting point is 00:16:16 You're going to know how to push her buttons, how to turn her the fuck on. That's the kind of, that's the reason why they make friends with the guy, because the guy tells them exactly what their wife wants in bed so they could show up and be the best lover. Like, it's so dumb, like these young guys or these egomaniac guys that come in like, oh, I'm just going to like fuck you in. They're probably not coming from that place of like being the biggest douchebag, but coming in with like your ego, right? Like I'm going to show your wife I can like fuck her really good.
Starting point is 00:16:42 It's just not the way to go. Like be, you know, come in with all the knowledge from the husband, right? On what to do for his wife, what she likes, what she doesn't. And that's what all the bulls have in common with the ones that are successful, you know? Yeah. They make friends with the husband. Sorry, go on. It's such a good point, though.
Starting point is 00:17:04 If you befriend the husband or the male partner, you are basically getting an insider view. So you're going to have automatically a better time in that experience than if you're coming in kind of blind trying to figure out what they're into. If it's like a quickie like that where, you know, you're coming and going quite literally, that's different. But if you're going on a date with a hot wife or you're going on a date with another swinger couple, you're going to be having conversations about protection, about boundaries, what's okay to do, what's not okay to do, Where are you going to do the thing? How are you going to do the thing? Like there are so many things to discuss. You can't just come in swinging your dick and be like, I'm here.
Starting point is 00:17:49 The party has started. There's so much more to these experiences. So having respectful discussions with both partners is going to be really key. And how do couples, though, feel about newbies? I mean, like, and these are the people we're talking to, right? Like, most likely we're talking to a guy who wants to get into this, a newbie guy. when you're helping that newbie guy out with his profile and stuff, like, how does he get to be looked at? Because I feel like, unfortunately, besides being a single male and having that stigma,
Starting point is 00:18:18 newbies have a little bit of a stigma, too. You know, sometimes couples don't want to hook up with newbies because, you know, maybe they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Like, how do you, what do you say to newbies to get noticed? Well, that is certainly the case, right? It's kind of like when you go out on, like, for a job, right? and you've never had a job before. And the person's like, you have no job experience.
Starting point is 00:18:40 You're like, well, I can't get job experience if no one will hire me. So like it's the same. You're right. They got to be an intern. Right? Yeah, exactly. Yes, that's it. You fucking nailed it.
Starting point is 00:18:52 So you're interning. It's an unpaid internship. You get paid in maybe orgasms and experience. Do yourselves a favor. Okay? Before, if you are brand new to the lifestyle, before you start fucking swinging your dick into everybody's DMs, make sure you learn more about the lifestyle. Just peek around, okay? Learn about what are some of the other profiles doing? What are some profiles, some, look at, let's say,
Starting point is 00:19:21 single guys, look at other single male profiles who have a lot of likes. On SEC, we also have something called validations. That basically means, oh my God, it's so good. Okay, so a validation essentially for those of you who don't know, is a real person or a real couple says, hey, this guy is real and has such a good time, very respectful. It's like getting reviews about your sex life, okay? It's fucking cool, I got to say, but it really shows people that you're a legit person and you've interacted with other people, other members in the past. Yeah. So it's important because a lot of couples especially will look to see who your validations are from, how many you have, how recent they are. It's very important to get those validations. And again, like the whole job
Starting point is 00:20:10 like scenario is saying it's hard to get the validations if you haven't had experience. And if no one gives you a chance to have the experience, how do you get the experience? So it is, there is that catch 22. So my suggestion, before you start jumping in without knowing what to do look around a bit. What are these single guys writing in their profile? What kind of photos do they have up? What kind of events are they attending? What kind of groups are they a part of? What kind of communities do they engage in? Learn about what they are doing successfully and get an idea about what it is that you could potentially do to also be successful. Now, you'll never know what they're writing in their DMs, but having a like a bio and having like a really, like a really, like a really
Starting point is 00:20:58 like a good bio and having photos besides photos of your dick. Okay. How like these are things that people are looking for. They want to, you know, a dick is one thing, but you know, you have to, we want to know what you look like before your dick comes out. Yeah. Because it's important. It's an important part of attraction, right?
Starting point is 00:21:20 What's the rest of the package look like? And the package includes who you are, your interests, your intelligence, your charm, your charisma and some of that comes out in a bio okay very important stuff people ignore the bio if you're like I'm a single guy we know you're a single guy it says that on your status okay it says that you're a single guy you don't need to repeat information there's a really there are ways that you can present yourself to couples and to other people to tell them who you are and what kind of experience they're going to have by being with you like it's not just like, I'll make your fantasies come true. Like, what does that even mean? Okay, we've all heard this
Starting point is 00:22:01 before. It doesn't tell me anything about you. What are you interested in? How are you going to seduce us? Let's say, as a couple, right? Yeah. How, what are you going to do? So, and if you don't know the answer yet, that's okay. It's very hard to promote yourself, especially as a single guy. Yeah. Very, very challenging. Just saying you're well hung, uh, doesn't help. Okay. It's not like a dime a dozen on these websites, you know, why don't you explain a little bit? Because like, you're saying, like, post a picture of your face. And some people might be like, I don't want to put my face on there. Like, I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing. You know, why don't you explain how SDC works and how, like, you could, you know, make pictures private and stuff as well as, like, explain other things.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Like, what I think is also interesting about SDC and why I always, I always promote it. And I do have a code 37712 for anyone that's listening to get a free trial for SDC or just go to the description and click on a link and you get in for free. And what I always, and what I always, I always say I love about SDC, and it's very true, is that you not only could go on there and meet other people, you could learn about, like, the groups and the parties and the meetups going on in your area, as well as read articles and stuff. So like you, like you were talking about doing those things. They could also do those things on SDC when they're in there, right? So why don't you explain how it works once they're in and what to do to navigate the site and all the stuff that I
Starting point is 00:23:20 just talked about? I love it. Okay. So once you become a member of SDC, you'll have access to an area that you can only get. It's very private, right? It's all secure and everything. It's behind a paywall, or behind the membership wall, let's say. So there are so many features. Now, don't get intimidated. The features are there for a reason. There's so many things that you can do. And it's important to start first, before you start perusing around and everything, make sure that you have a complete profile. Otherwise, your profile won't be showing up. So if you're missing profile.
Starting point is 00:23:59 They've got it first before they put it out. Everything, we have an incredible help desk team. They basically go through the profiles to make sure that it has the information that is necessary so that you can meet other people. Like our whole job, our whole reason d'et, our whole like, you know, our, our, our, whole MO is to connect people together. So there are a few pages that you're going to be navigating to start with. As a new member, other people are going to see new members in their area. So you can, they're going, you're going, whenever somebody checks your profile, there is a tab that says,
Starting point is 00:24:36 I think it's called viewed me. Yeah. Or may the name may have changed. I think it might just say views now. Yeah. And it shows all the people who are curious enough to check out your profile. Now, it doesn't mean that they will reach out to you, but it gives you an idea about people who are interested in your profile. Want to have better sex and be more confident in bed every single time you get down and dirty. Well, then you need to try Bluetooth and not just regular Blue Chew Max. This combo acts fast and lasts. So if you love Blue Chew, make sure to check out Blue Chew Max. And you know what? My brother loves Bluchu. And he told me what he loves the best about Blue Chub,
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Starting point is 00:27:50 Go there now and use my code strictly to get 20% off your entire order. That they'll reach out to you. But it gives you an idea about people who are interested in your profile. Now, keeping in mind the fact that that's very helpful. But when you're brand new, it's going to take a bit of time to get like some views. day one you'll have like a bunch but give it like at least a couple of minutes people you're going to want to check that out check out the online page that will show you who is online in your area maybe you'll recognize some people who knows and they can hide their picks right you need to talk
Starting point is 00:28:28 about that like they can isn't there a place that they only show like face shots later like private like they can have a private album correct yes oh my god I love that about SEC so you can put up your photos that are publicly that will be seen by whomever your profile pictures, but you can have a private album and they have passwords. So you can give them out to only the people that you want to have access to those photos. Right. So like let's say you don't want to keep sending, like going through your camera role to send out photos of yourself or whatever. You create a folder for yourself of pictures that you're going to share with couples, let's say, who are like, hey, you know, I want to see more.
Starting point is 00:29:08 And that way, they're able to go ahead and take a look at your album and you don't have to continuously, like, resend those photos. Plus, you already know you're already comfortable with what's in there. That gives people an opportunity to get to know you better without having to, like, put those pictures public. Plus, you can cover your face. You can, you can, like, use Photoshop and you could put, like, an emoji on your face. Then people do that. Some people blur out the face. There are different, and like whatever other identifiable.
Starting point is 00:29:38 fires there may be in those pictures. But ultimately, people want to know what you're going to look like when they're going to come and meet you. Yeah, no, you have to have that ready. I think for anyone, I think what's most important in the initial contact with somebody real is like verify that you're fucking real and you're not catfishing me and you're not like if you say you're a chick, you're not a chick. If you say you're a single guy, like you know what I mean? Like you are, you are. Quick question though, and this is like a little specific, but I think you'd have the answer since you coach single guys. Like, so if, like, you don't want to just put on your profile picks that are actually being shown your dick pick, right? Like, you know, what, what do you suggest?
Starting point is 00:30:16 If they don't want to put their face, right? Like, what are the kind of picks that people are looking for if you want to stay anonymous? Like, is it a topless photo? So you show your abs. Is it just like a regular photo showing you as a regular person standing there without your face? Like, what are the, the kind of picks that work that are anonymous that aren't just straight up dick picks? Like, what kind of picture they put? So if you're not going to show your face, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:30:40 But, I mean, we like, what, what does your body look like in clothes? Right. So, right. Okay. So that's good. Yeah. So, like a body shot in clothes, regular guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Okay. Yeah. Like out and about. Okay. Maybe you're, maybe like, you're standing in front of a restaurant. I'm giving you just like random examples. Okay. You're at the beach in, in your bathing suit.
Starting point is 00:31:01 You're like, I'm trying to like struggling to think. Yeah. But it's the same thing. It's the point. It's the point is that it could be with your clothes on, like, because you want to, I'm trying to give guys, like, advice on like, okay, you could maybe put up one dick pick, right? They do want it. This is a sex site, right? So I would want to know what they're dealing, right? Like, people want to know kind of like what they're dealing with, right? If they want a guy to come in, probably. But, like, you know, what else do people want to know to know you're real? And I think it's like the picture in clothes standing up so they could have an idea of what your body is. Because I know. know that people guys send me picks for my Patreon and some people will be like why don't you get picks of guys on your Patreon because I'm always getting hot picks of the girls I'm like well because you know what picks are guys going to send in but a lot of times what they send me is like them you know showing off their abs and everything I down to like right before the their dick shows up
Starting point is 00:31:53 but I think that in on a site clothes picks are good too even if your face is cut out because they could see your body and clothes it gives you an idea yes and it gives you an idea of like what kind of a style they have. Like, okay, it says a lot to me if I see someone wearing, let's say, a faded heavy metal T-shirt, because then right away, I'm like, okay. So he's probably had that shirt for a while, which means he's probably a real fan, which means that we like the same kind of music. And then already I can sense a connection.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Oh, okay. I was hoping you weren't going to say that that was something better. I'd be like, I was about to say, like, I'd fuck that guy with that shirt. Oh, you like it too. We like the same kind of guy. Yeah, I don't fucking steal that shirt before I leave. You better believe it. okay so i can steal that you know but like it like photos like your style says a lot about you without
Starting point is 00:32:43 saying anything especially for girls you're a girl okay listen to this girl and she's not just forget about her as a professional right now what she just said is like from the girl part of herself right like that's how girls are right so that's how these women are going to be looking at you what kind of guy is this right because they do most women do want a some sort of connection that they're going to like this guy's vibe, you know? Yeah, for sure. And that means a lot because we're probably going to have at least one conversation before we fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:11 If we even get to that point. And if you don't wow me during that conversation, then we're not fucking. So like there's, I mean, look, maybe, you know, I guess it depends. Some people may be a little bit easier, let's say, like if, you know. But in most cases, there's going to be like a vetting process. Sometimes that's also in person. Yeah. You know, like, so style is important.
Starting point is 00:33:32 So look, I'm a sucker for a guy in a suit. But like I said, I'm also a sucker for a guy and are an old rocker t-shirt. I have variety. I'm okay with variety. Variety is good. And it gives people an idea that you're versatile. Another thing is if you have like hobbies,
Starting point is 00:33:48 you know, like let's see a picture or two of like whatever your hobby is. If you're like, again, with the metal reference, because I started playing guitar recently. So now I'm just like staring at my guitar and I'm like thinking about this. If I see you in a in a photo where you're just like hanging out playing out playing guitar and like someone's taking a picture you're like that's hot yeah you know that you have something in common with that guy yeah and i think that it it gives us like a connection beyond just i want to bone you another thing is oh my god guys okay look i know not everyone has attention to
Starting point is 00:34:20 detail but please please please before you take photos at your house or your apartment or whatever clean up your background no overflowing garbage bins no like piles of laundry okay Okay. If your mattress is on the floor, I don't want to know. I want to see it. You don't understand. I have like look through dating sites when I was on dating sites. And I would like literally swipe the wrong way. Like I'm not interested because I didn't like the guy's blinds in the background. Like girls look at shit in the back. Okay. More than they're looking at the guy. We're like weak. I will judge a guy by his window treatments. Wow. I'm into nice window treatments. Yes. I'm a lot. So window treatments, I will judge you by your window. I love that. But that's how girls are. You're not the only one.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Yeah. Yes. You're not the only one. Yeah. I can't. Wait, why don't you tell them too about like all that other stuff? And you do write a lot of the articles. Like there's a lot of articles on there for people to learn.
Starting point is 00:35:20 There's a lot of groups and communities that they could get info on in their neighborhood. How do they find that shit on SDC? Okay. So if you go to SDC.com, even before you become a member, okay? then you can check out like podcasts and videos and articles all about swinging all about sex all about relationships all about hotwifing and so read them read them listen watch i mean it's there it's free to consume yeah you write them don't you write them most of them a lot i write them i've recorded podcasts on them like i mean there's there is there are international contributors yourself included
Starting point is 00:35:59 we've got your pods they're amazing and they're great to learn it's like it's you know it doesn't cost you anything go to the site check it out learn more about what you can do to be successful in the lifestyle because look there there are so many tips and tricks and they all come from different places there are lots of different contributors from all around the world with perspectives like medical perspectives on you know premature ejaculation which is a concern for a lot of single guys you know like erectile dysfunction we've got medical stuff and then you've got lifestylers who've been fucking other people for 30 years who are talking about how they successfully made a journey of it. So you've got a variety of information on the site.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Go and check it out at SDC.com. And then when you're inside the site and you finally become a member because you're like, yeah, I'm so into this. And you use Kathy's promo code, which is. 371-2 or just go to the link. Yeah. And like, you know, inside of like these dating sites and like, I mean, look, SEC is my favorite. Even before working for SEC, it was my favorite of the different swingersites. Like I, this is, this is for me, like the features, the members. Like, it's for me, the best. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Okay. So this, you know, I'm not, I'm not saying it just because like, you know, it's just like, this is my job. You bet at it too. This is like, you're in the lifestyle. I fucking loved it. Yeah. And you're in the lifestyle.
Starting point is 00:37:21 You're not talking from like, oh, you're just like a writer life coach and, you know, you're talking to talk. You walk the walk. You were a single person that got into the life. style and did all kinds of stuff. I mean, like I said, you could go, wasn't your origin story.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I mean, you're in the world and you were, you know, on these sites and stuff like that. You were on SDC before you worked for SDC. So. Yeah. And as far as hooking up goes and like meeting other people, the amount of tools that are on there to do that are just, it's incredible. So like, look,
Starting point is 00:37:49 once you, so learn the stuff on the site, go on SDC. Again, it's free, check it out. Look at the information. Learn more about what it actually means to be in the lifestyle. But tell people, because I just got an email today with some guy saying, tell me where I could find, I live in California.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Tell me where I could find, you know, Swinger sites in California, like Swinger Clubs in California. I'm like, oh my God, go to SDC.com and take my free trial. Because that's what's great. Like I always say, like, because a lot of people like, you know, talk, come on my show and they talk about, you know, going to gangbings and going to hotel takeovers in their area. And it's like, this is where you're going to find out about those kinds of things in your area or in any area, right? Like how do they find? Is there like a place where they go and they could put in gangbings and find out there's a gang bang and they could sign up for it in their area, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Like, okay. I mean, you laugh, but this is what people are into, Lexi. I'm laughing because I know, I love it. I love it so much. That's why I'm laughing. I'm like, I can't believe I get to talk about this all day. Yeah. It's just sometimes it occurs to me how awesome my life is.
Starting point is 00:38:48 And I'm like, wow. Have you been in a gang bang? I forget. Did we talk about, I know you've been in orgies and you're like a lot of guys. Yeah. Oh, orgies. Yes, many, many people with the orgies, but no, no gangbangs. Okay, anyway, go on.
Starting point is 00:39:02 How do you find the gangbings in your area? So you can find gangbangs in your area. Yeah. So the beauty of SDC is like you can post private and public parties. So public parties are like you're like the sex club down the street is like doing a theme night or whatever. That'll be posted on there. But also, you'll learn about parties that are private. So you would have to contact the host.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Sometimes there are couples who host at their homes. They have parties, private parties, and get-togethers where they very carefully vet the people who come. And as a single guy, okay, you guys sometimes a handful of you are allowed in, okay? Very selective. So how, so be very careful, okay? Don't just be like assuming that you're going to gain entry. You have to be, you know, like I said, make sure your profile looks good. Make sure you have good pictures on there because otherwise you're probably not going to be invited to some of these events.
Starting point is 00:39:56 They're going to pick and choose because they're going to get a lot of people hit in the mom. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, you can check out parties like next is like near you. You'll probably get recommendations on those. Like you'll be able to see parties that other people are attending.
Starting point is 00:40:10 So let's say you start making some friends on SDC, even if you haven't hooked up or whatever, you like each other's profiles. You become friends. Cool. And then you could see what events that they're going to. You could see who's on the guest list. And that is a great way. to get to know someone before an event. So let me go back a bit, though.
Starting point is 00:40:32 On SDC, so you can find all those parties. You could find, like, you know, figure out, like, what kind of clubs are also in your area. Yeah, which is great because you might not know about these places. They're underground. They're not advertising, you know, on a billboard when you're driving down the highway. Like, how else would you know? Well, exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:51 And that's the thing, right? Because we're such, like, a secretive society in so many ways. Yeah. You know, you, you won't know about them really until you start navigating in the lifestyle. You can be like, no way. I had no idea that club was like two blocks away from my house. Exactly. Like, you know, it's shocking.
Starting point is 00:41:10 And once you do, you can, if you've never been to a club before, even before you go to a party, you can attend a meet and greet or a meet and mingle or a munch or whatever. There's so many different ways. Could you explain the difference? Because people will always ask me after someone says those. I know the difference, but explain. Okay, well, and I guess like maybe people have different definitions, but basically a meet and greet or like is more, you're going to a club. They're opening up like the club maybe not during their usual hours.
Starting point is 00:41:44 So that way you can go. You can maybe have a cocktail if you want. You can meet the hosts. Sometimes they have a host couple there. You can meet other swingers and you could get like a tour of the facility. you could learn more about what it's about. You could see if you feel comfortable there. You could learn what their rules are.
Starting point is 00:42:00 You can get a feel of the ambiance before you even like go in like for a party. Okay. So you can meet people without any expectation of having to fool around or anything like that. And if things go well, maybe you fool around later. At a mean and mingle, like play is more encouraged, but it's still like there's still like a meet and greet kind of aspect to it because you're meeting people. there's less pressure to do anything sexual. But if you want to, usually there is an area set up for you to do that. And at a munch, that's more like a kink term.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, right. That's a BDSM thing where people go to meet other people involved in that world where there's no expectation of hookups going on. It's just a meet. It's like a meet up for people into BDSM, right? That's what I always thought it was. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:42:49 And it's platonic. Yeah. So maybe you do meet future playmates, but that's not the goal, right? You're just there to meet like-minded people. So again, like in kink and like in swinging, you're building a community. You're learning to meet people. If you're just like, I just want to hook up and get out and you have no interest in actually knowing the lifestyle, you might not be in the right place. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:11 And just tell me, like, explain. Are single guys welcome at any meeting, greet? Or do some places have like a no single guys allowed clause? And like how would someone else? Yeah. that's a great fucking question so on sDC for the part for the different parties it'll specify who is allowed to attend is it couples only is it not and but always make sure like let's say there's a party at a club that it's only for couples okay and couples really do run the lifestyle
Starting point is 00:43:40 okay so and by that I mean women run the lifestyle yeah yeah yeah upside down world it's a woman's I know. This is why I found my home here. Yeah. But yeah. So couples really run the lifestyle. So keep that in mind. There are some nights that are couples only. There are some clubs that are couples only. However, there are also clubs who do things like gangbang nights. And there are other clubs who do single men nights where the women are there to be worshipped. It's beautiful. Okay. And so you can look out for special events like that. And they're all. There are lots of them. And also on SDC, if you join communities based on, let's say, let's say you're into hot wives. And you, like you do a search, you find a bunch of different communities on SDC that are into hotwives. You might find one that's in your area. A bunch of people who are also into hot wives who are throwing their own parties.
Starting point is 00:44:34 So you'll be able to see what events they're throwing and where they're going and who's involved. It's Alice. What I love too is like, listen, a lot of people don't want to play in their area because they're so afraid they're going to bump into their uncle or their cousin. I don't know, that's what I would think. Like, oh my God, what if, you know, but you. Oh, my God, it's happened. Yeah. Not to me.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Not to me. Of course it happens, yes. So, but what's great is I always, and I say this sometimes in my ad, like, I mean, if you're going away, like, you know, a lot of couples will do that. Like, oh, we only play. We'll have a three, something like we're on vacation, right? Far away from home, never going to see that person again. Like, you could find that info.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Say you're going on vacation, you know, and you're going to be away for a week. You could set something up, you know, there as well. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I like, you know. Oh my God, I love that. So on SEC, you can set your travel plans. Let's say you're like, I'm going to be in Spain for this one week. Yeah. And then other people who are in Spain can see people who are traveling to their area who they can all, you know, like and see, hmm, okay, that's interesting. So,
Starting point is 00:45:30 oh yeah, I'm also free that week. Maybe I'll host them for something, you know, like it's a really great way to connect because also on SEC, there are a lot of people who travel like everywhere, not just for work, but also for pleasure. So, you know, there are lots of people you can meet on SDC from different areas. Because like you said, sometimes people don't want to play near their homes because they don't want to get, you know, outed. But so going back, though, finding people who are in those groups that you're interested in, finding people who are going to events around your area, learning more about the clubs in your area and what they offer. do they allow single men? Do they not? Are there certain events that maybe favor single men where you can also go and see, even if you don't participate, you can see what other successful single men are doing when they are at these events? And that's where I do want you to lead into because you are a woman who's been in these clubs for a long time. You're in the lifestyle for sure. You're professional. You know, explain what happens when they actually get there. You know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:46:38 like they found the place. They accept single guys. Maybe it's single guys night. Like, what do you do and don't do when you're fucking there to get Lexi to bang you? Oh, wow. That's a tall order. Well, like, okay, let's go with the basics. Okay, let's go with the bare minimum required, let's say.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Just like if you're coaching a guy. And he's like, okay, I got, I finally found my people. I found a club. I'm going to go and I'm nervous, you know? Like, what would be, you know, some things you would tell them overall about their experience for their first time walking in as a solo guy. Okay, first of all, you have no expectations. You don't know what you're going to expect.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Don't go in thinking, oh, I'm going to have a threesome or I'm going to fuck this person. You have no clue what is going to happen when you actually get there. Who will be interested? Who will not? Go in with no expectations because then you won't be disappointed. Go in also expecting that someone will say no to you. Okay? So getting told no.
Starting point is 00:47:38 is important for everybody, everybody of any gender and any couple status to learn. And also saying no yourself. I mean, just because it's a guy doesn't mean he wants to fuck everything and anything that walks. No. Some people think that. I mean, he might want to, he might be hit up by someone and he's like, no, thanks. Like, you know, you got to learn how to say no to yourself. Yes, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:48:01 And both of those things are important because it's all about communication, right? If you are not able to say no and you can, you don't have to be a. dick about it, right? If you're not interested, you could say, I'm sorry, I'm not really feeling that, you know, chemistry or the connection or maybe not tonight or you can say a number of things. You don't have to be a dick and be like, no, fuck you kind of thing. You don't have to do that, obviously, be respectful. But yes, accept that you will say no and be told no, okay? It's important to be able to accept it gracefully in the moment. Another thing, guys, don't have FOMO, okay? Just because you have, like, you know, maybe it's your first time and you're really nervous and you're not,
Starting point is 00:48:37 If you're feeling not sure when you're in the moment and someone's asking you to do something, maybe you're not ready yet. And it's okay. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to be ready immediately to have sex with the first couple who pops by. Okay. And your dick might not work and I've heard it a million times. So sorry. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Like that's a common thing that might happen. Don't feel bad because it happens to a lot of guys and it's never happened to them anywhere else. But in the lifestyle it happens, right? It happens. Look, okay. I have dealt with many guys. okay because, I mean, I've dealt with many guys, period, in general, in these contexts. So out of that, like a decent percentage of men who I've seen either in situations with me or in public settings, watching them, let's say, fuck other people, you know, where it was very hard for them to either get hard or stay hard.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah. And in some cases, premature ejaculation because they got so excited. There is so much stimulation. There's so much stimuli out there. the sound, the smells, the views, it could be very overwhelming. And if you are focusing only on your dick instead of the moment and taking in the beautiful participants who want to play with you and the people who are like just, you know, putting on a show like in, you know, in front of you and really taking in the music and the amiens, if you're just focusing on your dick,
Starting point is 00:50:03 then your dick will probably not work the way you would like it to because you're focusing all of your attention on it and you keep this in mind if you can't if your dick can't get hard or stay hard you can still give people orgasms you still you it's like listen carry if you really want to okay i mean look i'm a woman i have a purse that's a little easier for me i can bring a little sex toy in my purse which i i've known to do right okay okay because they I mean, unlike a dick, they're not going to stop fucking working after someone comes. So, like, even if it's a short refractory period. So if you really want to be successful in a lifestyle, learn to not just rely on your dick.
Starting point is 00:50:47 You have hands, presumably, a mouth presumably, and toys presumably, that you can all use to help pleasure somebody else that is not reliant on your dick working. and if your dick doesn't work the way you would like it to, give it a fucking break. It's over-excited or it's overwhelmed and it needs a fucking minute to understand what's going on, okay, to know how to really react. But don't be hard on yourself. The way a man reacts if he can't get or stay hard is so key. If they make a big deal out of it and it's, oh, I'm going to leave.
Starting point is 00:51:28 It's like an all or nothing thing, then that's not the right kind of. guy, in my opinion for me. I want a guy who's going to be like, oh, you know what? I'm like, I'm not hard right now, but I want to pleasure you in other ways. I'm okay with that. Yeah. I have no fucking problem with that. And then guess what? The next time you come back, I'll be like, oh, yeah, it's the guy who fucking went down on me. Because, you know, he couldn't say hard. Okay, no problem. He fucking made me come anyway. And maybe that time you'll be hard. Yeah. Because, well, already, you'll be comfortable. You'll have gotten past your first experience, right? And what I know about you, though, too.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Yeah. And what I know about you, too, Lexi, is you like to suck a dick. Okay. So you might probably like, I feel like you see it as a challenge. You might be like, okay, you might not be able to get it up, but I'm going to like suck your cock until you get hard. Oh, you know me too well. You're going to take it as a challenge. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:52:21 And I have. I have taken that as a challenge. I have definitely, look, when you suck hard enough, it could be like, have like penis pump style effects with all the blood flow fucking happening. But also, if you're having trouble staying hard because your brain is just so active and you're nervous, that's okay. There's no amount of dick sucking that might get you past that, though. So, like, you know, sometimes it doesn't, it's not always the, it won't always work. But I think that people in my case, it does work in most cases. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:49 I think that people in the lifestyle are much more understanding of things like that because I think the biggest point that a guy needs to understand is that that happens a lot of the time. Yeah, and you, I remember as a podcaster that knows nothing about this fucking lifestyle, regular girl that knows regular guys, you know, and thinking that like, you know, every guy gets a heart on if they see a fucking pussy in front of them. And, you know, I remember my first caller telling me that the guy had like an issue getting it up. And I was like, are you like lying? Like, what do you mean? I'd never heard of that before, you know, and it turns out, you know, I was so stupid and ignorant, but it turns out that that is very common in the lifestyle for exactly what you said. There's so much. stimulation and there's so much going, you know, and you could be in your head and so it happens. And it happens more, I think, than it does in the regular world. But I think lifestyle people are more understanding of it because they've seen it happen and everyone knows. So give yourself a break. Because to me, the thing about a guy that can't get it up a lot, sometimes it's a medical issue, right? But a lot of times it could be in their head. And there's the best thing to do if you're a
Starting point is 00:53:54 woman was like what like Lexi does. She doesn't give a fuck. She just starts sucking it until they get hard. Like, you know, just, I had a boy from getting it up problem. And I didn't care. I was like, fuck me soft because I was so into him. And I have orgasms. And eventually, he had no getting it up problem because I cheated him like a sex object. I never was like staring at his dick. Why can't you get it up? Do you not like me? You know what I mean? It's like the worst thing to do is make it an issue. And same with the person to themselves. Like you just said before, it's very important. Like don't get in your head about it. Who gives a fuck? Go down on the girl. Forget about it. because if you start getting paranoid that you can't get it up and da-da-da-da,
Starting point is 00:54:28 and then now you're never going to be able to get fucking get it up. Like, no big deal. Don't think about it. Just like you said, do something else. Use your hands, make her squirt. Yes. And look, if you are like, you know, if you're so in your head that you're really just like you can't perform and you don't want to do anything else, fine. So leave.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Don't ruin the time for anybody else. Right. But also it's just like, like you said, we're all so understanding of this. We have all. but I've never so far met a swinger who wasn't in an experience or witness an experience where a guy couldn't get hard or couldn't stay hard or it came too fast. It happened to all of us. We've all seen it.
Starting point is 00:55:07 And for most guys that I've spoken to, almost all of them, have experienced it firsthand. And while it may be a source of, quote, shame in the regular world, let's say, in the lifestyle, it's almost expected that it, for your first time, look, there's some guys who they'll be hard as fucking rocks and like oh my god this is like amazing this is the best experience ever i've never been so hard in my life and other guys will have the opposite effect what else would you tell that guy the first time besides like you know be okay if someone says no and you know what's like there's a lot of etiquette too and you know like what i always i've had episodes on where missy bender who i know like introduced me to you yeah she's so smart
Starting point is 00:55:46 she's come on and done like the whole etiquette like exactly how to act at a swingers club because I'm like, you know, there's no, nobody tells you these things. There's no signs up in most clubs, right, of like how you enter a room and whether you can or not and, you know, and how, like, the rules and regulations. So like, I don't know, give like a quick overview. And then we'll talk about, like, how people could get in touch with you? Because there's like, how do people know what the fuck to do? Like, what are the rules and regulations of a swingers club? So, I mean, so for, for one thing, you're right. I mean, it's sometimes, like, hard to know the stuff. That's why I have a whole series called Swinging 101. So like I have like a bunch of videos and like live webinars or I talk about this.
Starting point is 00:56:23 I have one about swingers clubs and events and parties so you can really learn more about that there on my site. But that said, when you are going to a club for the first time, I strongly recommend go to watch, go to see. Just watch other, be smart, watch other people interacting with each other. You'll notice right away what is working for people? What is it? You'll notice it like the size ways that people communicate with each other and how body language is so fucking important. When we were talking about pictures before, okay, we're talking about we're looking for more than just what you're wearing, although what you're wearing is important. We also, yes, we want to know what your body generally looks like, but also, how are you standing?
Starting point is 00:57:11 Like, I'll notice if someone looks confident or not. We all actually subconsciously notice this, but we don't, I also have a whole webinar, are about the secrets of body language, but that's a other thing. But when you're at a swingers club, if you're hunched over, if you're huddled in a corner, if you're not like, you know, then you're not coming off as confident. Look around and see, just notice the body language of people who are on the dance floor and dancing, people who are flirting with each other, how they're interacting. It also is going to help give you an idea about what to notice and what to look for
Starting point is 00:57:46 to see if someone is into you or not. because I get a lot of questions from guys who are like, how do I know if someone's into me? When is the right time to ask the question? Like, are, you know, do you want to go somewhere? Because while you might be having a nice interaction and a lot of chemistry with someone, it doesn't mean they want to fuck you. Exactly. And it maybe doesn't mean they want to fuck you that night or ever.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Who knows? But flirting is not consent. No. And in this situation, it's the same thing like you said with online and we're bringing it full circle. Like in this situation, if you got your. eyes on some guy's wife and the couple is there. Don't hit her up when the guy. Don't wait for the guy to go to the bathroom and then go hit up the wife. Go over to the guy and talk to him first. That's the proper
Starting point is 00:58:29 etiquette to hook up with the wife, right? Don't just go to her and ignore the guy. It's the same thing online. Pay attention to the partner. Go to the guy. And because like the wrong move is like and some guys might do this, I'll wait for the guy to walk away and then go over and hit her up. Like that's not cool. That's not going to be cool. No. No. And that's super disrespectful. And both parties are going to notice that. So in person, like, and I really can't stress this enough about the learn before you do. Because just having, think of the education you're going to get one night at a swingers club where,
Starting point is 00:59:05 hey, look, maybe you try out a couple of things and you try flirting and doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't matter. It's an experimental night. It's like if you're playing a board game for the first time, you're having a, like a practice round. Okay. Think of it as your practice round where you want to be respectful, you mostly are there to learn.
Starting point is 00:59:22 And if you happen to interact with someone interesting and it goes well, great, but that is not your goal that night. Your goal, the first time is just learn, open your eyes, see what happens, understand the flow. And then the next time you come back, you're going to know what to expect.
Starting point is 00:59:37 And I promise you, your dick will be much more cooperative that second time because those first timer nerves are not there. Yeah. So, yeah. That's my recommendation. Yeah, but, and I'm now I'm going to like, now I'm going to recommend you, okay, because like, this is like the part.
Starting point is 00:59:53 You just introed the perfect way to like sell Lexi. I mean, the fact that you actually provide a service to single guys to get this exact kind of information, but one on one, right? So that person can ask you every question and get your ear for like an hour or 45 minutes, whatever it is, right? You do like life coaching and for a solo guy. And he could call you up and like get a pep talk from you and you could walk him through all of this stuff, like, specific to him, right? Like you offer that service, which I think is like amazing. So please give out all your information and explain what you offer and how people could find you. And I'll put a link to your stuff in the description. All right. Well, you can find everything basically
Starting point is 01:00:32 at LexiSilver.com. So it's Lexi with an I, silver with a Y. And you'll be able to find links for how to book a free coaching discovery call with me. So I do one-on-one. And I also do couples coaching. I also do Thruple slash triad coaching. And I also do Thruple. coaching, but I, but that's maybe a bit more advanced for some of your listeners. Not all, though. I know some of your listeners are, you know, a little kinky era. So it's, so you can find more information about my coaching. You could learn about my swinging 101 series. I have some live webinars going on now, but also I have video courses that you can, you can get like on demand about all kinds of introductory topics for swinging, which will be very helpful if you know nothing about swinging.
Starting point is 01:01:15 or you're just learning to navigate it, okay? Especially if there are some couples here too who are listening and they're like, how do we navigate this together? I have lots of tools on that for couples, but also for singles. It's not easy. It's not easy for anyone, couples or singles, to navigate when you are starting from scratch and you don't know what to expect.
Starting point is 01:01:34 So I've got all that information, lots more on LexiSilver.com. So you can check it out. Reach out to me on SDC. You'll find my profile. Same thing, Lexi Silver. Lexi was an I, Silver with a Y. You can connect with me there. You can see my events.
Starting point is 01:01:50 You could see who I'm following if you want to get nice and stalky about it. Wait, we want to know. We want to know. Have you been verified and do you have reviews on there, Lexi? Oh, I'm referring to my business profile. My personal profile. Oh, yes, yes, yes. That's a whole separate vetting process.
Starting point is 01:02:09 We might have to do a part two and I'll make you read one. So you do, but do you have a separate person? account. I mean, you don't have to give it out, but do you roll like that? Because you're professional in there. And then you have your separate account that you always had on SDC. But it must be a different name, right? Oh, it's different. It's not as easy to find. I promise you. I know some people are going to be like trying to find it now. It's going to be very funny. Yeah. But, but yeah, I'm very covert with a lot of things that I do. And most of my interactions happen more in person than online. Because, you know, I mean, personally speaking.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Of course. You got to keep, listen, I think it's like interesting how you must tow the line between like being professional and like going and having fun because you kind of work in your world. You know, so I think that's like a, you know, a hard, like a hard line to ride because so you have to kind of live. Right. Well, you kind of, exactly. You kind of have to live like a double life or separate it somehow because you can't be this professional on there in one sense. And then you have all like your reviews. views of how you fuck in the same place. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I feel like I mean, if I did though, if I did, it would probably boost my professionalism. Like, oh, man, I want to hear about that from her. But at the same time. I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:03:28 I don't think so. I think it's much better to keep it separate. I think so. I'm kidding. Keep them wondering, be a mystery. But listen, people don't need to wonder about what you fucking do in your private life because I do have your episode of all your stuff that you do. You were a single person who entered the lifestyle on your own.
Starting point is 01:03:45 and I have your whole story. But what I love is that you will, you will and you can help other people. We said we were going to talk about unicorns and we didn't, but that's okay because you could help them if there's a unicorn listening. You know, we spoke us a lot about guys,
Starting point is 01:03:57 which I think is great because I have a lot of guys that listen to my show. But like you said, anyone could hire you or use your services or take your classes or all that kind of stuff on your website, whether they're couples or single women or single guy. So I will put the link in the description.
Starting point is 01:04:11 I love this episode. I feel like you gave out so much. great information and I love that, you know, people could like hire you to help them further. I think it's a really great service that you offer because, you know, I think people need that kind of help and information that you offer privately for sure. I fully agree and that is why I offer it. There's definitely a need out there and I'm happy to help and it makes your experiences better when you're connecting the lifestyle.
Starting point is 01:04:39 And part of what I want to do as an educator is to help people learn more about this stuff. So by coming, like it's a somebody like me for information to help you be a better person, a better man, a better lover. Like, this is awesome. This is exactly what I want. So. Yeah, no, I love that. I have a girl that calls into my show a lot, Erica. And she goes to gang veins.
Starting point is 01:04:58 She's all the kind of good stuff. But she also is like a therapist. But she's not a sex therapist yet. I'm always like, why don't you become a sex therapist? You'll be like the sex therapist of my show. You're like the life coach of my show. You're the perfect one. I mean, like, I love that you offer that.
Starting point is 01:05:10 And I love to be able to have that for my. listeners, because I do believe a lot of people are listening to podcast nowadays like this to learn, not just to hear a hot story, more so to learn, people that are looking to get into the lifestyle. So I love that I have an expert that I've vetted, I think is great, you know, offering up services so that they know they're not getting fucking ripped off by somebody that, you know, use chat GPT to write an ebook, you know, you're the real deal. Okay, you're the real deal. Lexi.
Starting point is 01:05:41 That's very funny. Yeah. So I'm going to put all your links in the description. Send me in a hot pick to put with your episode on Patreon. And I'm sure you're going to get a lot of people checking out your stuff. So thanks so much, Lexi, for calling in and sharing all this info with my listeners. It was super interesting. Thank you so much for having me back, Kathy.
Starting point is 01:06:00 I look forward to it, you know, doing this again soon. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book but you can pre-order
Starting point is 01:06:18 the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife
Starting point is 01:06:33 story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica.
Starting point is 01:06:59 I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skis. around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord.
Starting point is 01:07:28 My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it.
Starting point is 01:07:55 I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.
Starting point is 01:08:24 This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Okay, good news. I do have a book out. I wrote a book and it's coming out. The book is called Strictly Anonymous Confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Stricklandish Confessions. What I did was I picked out the 17 best episodes. That was very hard to do. Okay, I picked like one from each category. And I retold the story from the third person. So it's not interview style. It's a little bit more erotica. The only place where I took creative liberty was in the sex scene. So it's even hotter than my episodes. Like I said, it's told in the third person. And they're all true, just like my show. I mean, these are real stories from my show, just written out. Like I said, in the third. person, not an interview style, more like a story, but a true story, a true super hot story. Now, listen,
Starting point is 01:09:22 it is available for pre-order now and it's not coming out until October 14th. And I was like, oh my God, that's a long time away. So I figured I'd incentivize people. If you want to pre-order it now, I will give you free access to my Discord if you pre-order it now. All you got to do is screenshot, a pick of the receipt, just screenshot it to me. Send it to, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And then I will send you the link to my Discord. So that's a little incentive to pick it up now. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster.
Starting point is 01:09:56 The link is in the description. So make sure to click on it. And if you get it, send me the pick of you purchasing and I'll give you free access to my private discord. That is a totally naughty, super hot community with a lot of people over 2500 people over there having fun. Remember email me the pick at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Thank you.

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