Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1077 - BONUS EPISODE: Dick Pics Galore w/ Layla

Starting point is 00:00:00 Judging a big fat dick contest, dick pick contest, we ran. Last time Layla was on, we rated someone's pussy, and then we said we were going to do a rate someone's dick, but we didn't have time and people started submitting me dickpicked. So I decided to run a whole dick pick contest. There were some rules for the dick pick contest. People had to abide by those rules. If they didn't, they got deleted. Thank God, I had some rules like that because we got to delete like 50 dick picks, which was great because there were so many submissions. I forget the exact amount, but it was almost 200 dick picks I got submitted on my Dick Pick contest channel on my Discord. In order to see all the dicks that we rated and what we're talking about, you could sign up for my Patreon to get into my Discord, or you could buy, pre-order

Starting point is 00:00:47 my book. If you pre-order my book and send me a picture of it, I will give you free access to my Discord. You just got to email that to me. It's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Or go sign up for my Patreon, because with my Patreon, you get a lot more than just my Discord. You get all my episodes early in ad-free. You get every single pick of every single one of my female guests and my male guests. You get to take part in all my polls and all my Q&As that I have on my page as well as you get all the anonymous confessions that have come into my confessions hotline. So my Patreon is definitely worth it. It's only $7 a month. Plus you get access to my Discord where all these dick picks go. And we took all these dick picks and we narrowed it down to the top

Starting point is 00:01:26 15 dick picks and then those 15 dick picks are going to be posted on my Discord channel and everyone is going to vote There will be a poll, we will pick the winner Whoever gets the most votes You know wins a hundred bucks So if you want to follow along You're going to get some clips from this episode

Starting point is 00:01:44 It's a two hour episode Part one and part two are over The full part one and part two are over On my Patreon so you have to sign up to go listen to that If you want to follow the dick picks You need to go into my Discord to get in there through Patreon or by pre-ordering my buck. It was a fun episode.

Starting point is 00:02:00 I hope no one gets insulted. I said that millions of times because we are critiquing dicks, okay, the whole time. It's dick picks galore, okay? I hope you enjoy it. This is just like clips from it. If you want the full stuff, go sign up or pre-order my buck. Anyway, I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Layla. Hi, Laila.

Starting point is 00:02:18 Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast, first ever annual dick pick contest. Is it going to be an annual thing? I think so. When I just said that word, I was like, oh, wait, does that mean that I have to do it every year? Yeah, why not? I think you should. If you would have told me that there was going to be a time where I would be soliciting dickpicks from strangers to be sent to me, I would have been like your effing crazy.

Starting point is 00:02:42 Like, no. Me too. Right? I would have said, you're full of shit. And let me just tell you, that's a thousand percent wrong because I don't look at dick pics. Yeah, and I don't cross a line with my listeners. Like, I'm looking at my listeners' dicks. And I got to tell you something.

Starting point is 00:02:55 I literally sent a screenshot to one of my friends, guy friends, and he got jealous. I was like, my listeners have really big dicks. I was like, there's a lot of big dicks on here. I know. They have nice dicks. They're my dick type. A lot of my listeners are my dick type as I'm finding out. And a lot of your listeners, a lot of your listeners are my dick type too.

Starting point is 00:03:18 I am sorry, there are so many big dicks on here. And I'm like, where were all these dicks when I was banging guys galore? Like, I didn't. Thank you. Thank you. Maybe I had small dick energy when I was younger. I had my beer goggles on, so I was just, I guess I just didn't have a clue. I wasn't even thinking about big dicks. By the way, the prize is $100 for this dick pick contest. My favorite kind of dick is like not too long and kind of thick. What about you? What's your faith? I would say, you know, six, at least six inches and thick. Let's get into the contest. Because there's There were rules and they were posted everywhere.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Okay. And if you didn't follow the rules at the end of the day, you were disqualified. From dick picking. Your dick pick was gone. Some guy emailed me like, what the fuck? If you get dick, dick, disqualified. Hold on now. Hold on now.

Starting point is 00:04:12 Your dick pick disqualified. That's like the lowest bar you could get. But let's get to the dicks. Yes, dicks. Dicks. Dix, dicks. Okay. So we're at the top here.

Starting point is 00:04:23 Welcome to the dick pick contest. We're going to start from the top. And I mean, listen, we have to narrow this shit down. So we have to be very picky. And this is a dick pick contest. It's not just the dick. It's a dick in the pick. Okay.

Starting point is 00:04:37 So the picture matters. And we're going to be really fucking picky here. Yeah. You're going to be thrown out for just lack of effort. Because I don't want to fuck somebody that shows lack of effort. If you don't have that enough, if you can't put in. Crop. Let's just say five minutes to take a decent picture to submit for a contest.

Starting point is 00:04:55 test, how am I supposed to think about you sexually? All kinds of thoughts go through my head. Lazy in bed. Doesn't know what he's doing. Let's go to SATTC fun couple. Listen, this is a young guy that's like in perfect shape and everything. I know. It looks really, it looks maybe a little too long for me. I don't know, but it's hard to tell like the girth. Don't you think? It's just flopping over. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's so weak. It just can be bent in every direction. I want something that's stiff and girthy. This angle makes it look. like it's just floppy. I don't like it. The next one I'm excited about. You are. It looks like he's jerking off in this picture. I like that it looks big and thick and juicy. I'm like it just looks I like it when it looks like you've got this mean, angry heart on. That's what it looks like. That dick looks pissed off. Yeah. And he looks like he's at work. I mean, no one has those tiles at home. I mean, is he in a gas station? Is he at work? That's a gas station bathroom. I'm telling you, I'll bet you money. That's a gas station bathroom right there. But I'm sorry, I'm already ahead to Tiny Dick Boy. Oh, he wants

Starting point is 00:05:59 us to complain. Okay. He's going to be happy when we're like, where the fuck is the dick? This guy wants to be, wants everyone to laugh at this pathetic tiny dick. So I'm going to pick on his dick because that's what he likes. Yeah. Tiny Dick boy, yes. You look that dick is pathetic. It looks like Jabba the Hut. If I had my heels, I'd fucking kick you in that tiny little job of the hut dick. You just gave him a heart on. Do you think that any of these people, are going to be insulted. You know, I don't know, maybe, but I kind of look at, let me just tell you, I just look at this is this is my little secret revenge after nine years of people DMing me, you know,

Starting point is 00:06:38 unsolicited dick picks. This is what they wanted and, you know, be careful what you wish for. Here I am rating dicks. Okay. That's what you get, right? Yeah. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Okay.

Starting point is 00:06:50 Let's go to TK. legs or whatever. He's almost doing like a Russian split. I like it. I mean, he's more flexible than I am. I like you. I like it. No, I would definitely want to jump on that. That's just, I'm looking on his dick the way it's displayed. He's got his hand right there. It's, you can tell it's rock hard. And I'm like, yeah, I could get on that right now and grind off an orgasm. Oh my God. You're so funny. There's something about it that's not appealing. The legs are so strong. You're so. spread open. I don't understand. I've never seen a guy. We're almost getting into butt hole. That much. Yeah. I think he's, wait, you're right. I think he's pulling it open. He is, he is giving

Starting point is 00:07:34 you a little sneaky feet. I'm, I don't want to really see your butt hole. I don't want to see your butthole in a dick pit. And if I, if this was my guy, I would have been like, send me the pick and I would have taken that blemish off and that blemish off. So, you know, touch it up a little bit. Can't be a contender, but Layla loves you. I do. I would, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't kick you out of bed. He looks. Oh, there he goes.

Starting point is 00:07:59 Look at the next guy. I'm super happy with this guy. Super happy with this dick. That's my dick type. It's very, you can't do much better than that. That's right there. That's a home run for me. Yeah, it's pretty perfect, you know?

Starting point is 00:08:13 I got to say, I think we put that on the contender list. There's nothing more to say. Let's go to Cali couple. I actually think this was taken in the wrong direction because it looks like, you know, that top part is way too big for the bottom part. You know, it's too mushroomy. Like the head is very big. But that's the shape of it.

Starting point is 00:08:35 That's, yeah. So, you know, for me, I don't really want a mushroom head because I like the cemetery. I just visually I do. But, I mean, not to say that that dick wouldn't feel good. Look at Derek. Derek, that's a great picture. Derek has a great picture. and a great dick.

Starting point is 00:08:51 Yeah. I mean, like, honestly, this visually... Look at that bolting vein down the top of his. That's blood flow, baby. Oh, my God. That's what I love.

Starting point is 00:09:01 Like, get it nice and hard. You can tell that dick's rock hard. That is like the opposite vibe of the other guy that was just hanging down next to the balls. This guy's like straight out. I'm going to poke you. No, that's a, I mean,

Starting point is 00:09:12 that's a bread and butter dick. You know, that's like your... That will go the distance. What about Zeus? Now, Zeus, you know, Your hand probably shouldn't have been in this pick because his hand is so big. And it's making the dick look smaller. Zeus is Zeus has dick fingers.

Starting point is 00:09:34 He's got dick fingers. He's not. I think his hands are really big and his dick is normal size. I think it's, I think it's a Zeus hands with a Napoleon dick. That's what I don't. Yeah, it's little. It's small. It's just, I can tell.

Starting point is 00:09:51 I think it's just small. Here's another late, look, his balls look like a vagina. They kind of do. There's like lips there. It's like lips. There's some lips on his balls. I've never seen that, have you?

Starting point is 00:10:06 No. But I think it's just the way they flopped, I guess. Yeah. This guy. Yeah. Maybe he's only got one ball. You know what? If I put my hand up and I, if I block out the ball situation and I just look at

Starting point is 00:10:20 dick it's actually it's nicely shaped i can tell it's it's it's substantial it's girthy let's go to betta betta betty better brettie okay what the fuck is it where is the dick is this like a tiny dick boy too like what the heck he's like it locked up in a cock cage he's in a cock cage and and the hands are placed perfectly to show how tiny it is the width there is like an inch wide. I mean, it all fits in that little tiny cage. Now, let me ask you, because you've put guys in cages before. Like, is this a tiny, or like, is it so, is it a big dick smushed into a tiny cage? No, this is a tiny, no, this is a tiny dick. In a tiny cage. Yeah, but like these tiny dick guys love to be in cock cages. It's a part of their submission. Well, they also love their

Starting point is 00:11:12 dicks to be made fun of. So should we make fun of this a little bit? Yeah, go for it. You're good at that. Like, oh my gosh, make me the bad guy. I mean, it's just so pathetic, you know, it's just this little girly dick, and it doesn't deserve to come. It doesn't deserve to be touched. Oh, my God, you're so good. That's exactly. All this guy's good for is like, this is a man's servant. I'd be happy to put him to work, but he's not good for sex.

Starting point is 00:11:38 So I've got to figure out other duties for him. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with your dirty talk. That was good. You mentioned every word that they love in that. I would never have thought that up. Okay. let's look at this one.

Starting point is 00:11:51 Okay, Ren. Ren, why is it? Like, what did he put on? Is there a condom on this? Why is it so wet looking? Okay, he's got pre-crum coming out of the top. Do you see that little dribble?

Starting point is 00:12:03 Yeah, he's been jacking off. Oh. That's why it's all red. He's stroking it. Oh, my God, so he's about to come. He's coming right now. We are really, like, this is really, and I never thought I'd be doing it.

Starting point is 00:12:21 I'm burning my eyeballs. It's too early in the morning. I know. We're having our coffee red. Sorry, no jerking off picks. It gets you disqualified. Okay, Mr. Almighty. He's got a cock ring on.

Starting point is 00:12:34 I like a cock ring. It appears from the photo that the shaft is skinnier than the head, which is my favorite. Yaki Maniac. This is a great pick, you know, and he's got a good body. It's just, it's really hard to see anything about the dick from that angle. Like, how thick is it really? If somebody sent me this and I had to decide, would you go on a date with this guy if he could be fuckable or not? I would say, yes, I'd go.

Starting point is 00:13:00 I will investigate. Look at Chelsea closeted male. Closited male. Closite of male looks aggressive in this picture. He just didn't do his dick justice. That's all I can say. He's got a big bush. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:15 How do you feel about a bush? I don't really like a bush on a guy. I like it trimmed and kept. I mean, you don't have to, you know, shake. David Ball, but I just, yeah, I don't like the long, wild pubic hair thing. Oh my God, look at the next one. I'm sorry. I just scrolled down. Oh, my God. Holy shit. That could do some damage. His wife must be happy. And what about the curve? That one's big and curvy. I mean, it's, it's, I get, I'm a happy. I mean, that's a contender to me. But like Rodney. That's another one that

Starting point is 00:13:52 wants you to trash him. Is that a little dick too? He wants his, those balls are begging to be kicked or stepped on or pinwheeled. Oh my God. What's pinwheeled? You know, those balls need to be kicked,

Starting point is 00:14:04 slapped, stepped on. They're useless. They're just useless. Look at this one. This is interesting. KV. I mean,

Starting point is 00:14:14 yeah. This looks like a piece of meat, right? Or like beef jerky. Like the whole coloring of it is weird. It almost looks like a mold. Yeah, but it's kind of perfection. I wish it is.

Starting point is 00:14:27 It's interesting. It's perfection. Yes, but the color is so like, why couldn't, if this was in real life, right, like coloring, but the dick is like everything about it is like perfect. How is it standing up? Like, how are his balls up so much like that? Like the whole thing looks great. It's just that it's a little too dark.

Starting point is 00:14:46 That's a, those are his PC, there's a pelvic floor. He's got, this guy's probably young. He could probably really fuck good. Right. I want to get to the next guy. Yeah, we love him. He's hot. I mean, you know he's got a good face, too.

Starting point is 00:14:59 I mean, unless his eyes are bizarre, I don't know. Like, he's like a hot, he's a hot guy. I just think I like his whole vibe. You know what I mean? That's my favorite body type, like a beefy dude. I mean, yes, absolutely he's a contender. Like, just, I love a smile. But is he a contender because we think he's hot or like, because look, like, the dick

Starting point is 00:15:19 pick gets lost. The dick is lost in here. Yes, his dick is a. Yes, that's exactly why it's all working for him. We can't just say like, oh, we're not just not going to acknowledge. Like, I mean, I like his smile. I like, see, this is a dick pit contest. This is the best way to do a dick pit contest.

Starting point is 00:15:39 I sent you a picture of the Russian. It looked just like this. Like you, this gives you the good perspective. You can tell he's got a big dick. I can see where it's hitting on his thigh. It's girthy. I would jump all over that. It's not too long, which I like and it's thick.

Starting point is 00:15:52 I like his tattoos. I like his body. He looks like a very attractive man. Okay, put him on the contender list. This was so much fun. Can I, I have to, I've got to point out something funny. I think I've seen a guy that's landed in my DMs or on a dating app or something, hookup app. I recognize somebody. On here? Yes. Can you tell me who? Not anybody I've been with. No, but this guy looks familiar and I could be wrong. Yeah, but BMW 411. 15. It looks like somebody that I've seen in an app. What's the date of the picture? That guy looks familiar to me. I think he's been in my inbox before. Oh, that's so interesting. And why did you turn him down?

Starting point is 00:16:38 Yes. I don't know. I don't remember. But I'm just, this picture is ringing a bell for me. That's hilarious. Okay, so listen, everyone needs to go and vote. You got to sign up for my Discord on my Patreon to get into my Discord. I do have a thing where you could just get in a little.

Starting point is 00:16:52 to my Discord for free if you pre-order my buck. I'll have a link for that and send me a picture of it to see all the picks and go along with all this and then actually vote for the winner that gets 100 bucks. This was so much fun. I never thought I'd look at this many dicks. I hope no one got offended or and the ones that did wanted to the ones that wanted to get offended got offended right. Tenny Dick loser. I've done my charity work over Lent. Yes, exactly. But anyway, this was so much fun. But thank you so much for doing this. It was super. fun. You're welcome. Bye. Okay. So listen, that was just a very small, like 15-minute sample of some of the comments. Literally, the whole dick-pick contest critique took about two hours. There are so many dick-picks. There are so many more fun, funny parts of this episode. I think you learn a lot about how to take or not take a dick-pick besides like hearing our commentaries and seeing if, like, you agree with us. What I think is most thing about this episode is you do learn a lot about what girls are looking at what they're looking at a dick pick, what they like, what they don't like. So I think you can get a lot of tips on this episode. Like I said in the beginning, if you want to hear it and see all the picks, you need to sign up for my Patreon. The link is in the description. It's just $7 a month. Or if you pre-order my book and send me a pick of it, it's called Strictly anonymous Confessions. It's on Amazon or Simon & Schuster, you could send me a pick of your purchase and I'll give you free access to my Discord.

Starting point is 00:18:25 All the links and all the information is in the description. Thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th. but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

Starting point is 00:18:55 I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true.

Starting point is 00:19:12 I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total errone. book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you're If you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord.

Starting point is 00:19:54 My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.

Starting point is 00:20:15 It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.

Starting point is 00:20:43 And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Okay, good news. I do have a book out. I wrote a book and it's coming out. The book is called Trickleitonymous Confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. What I did was I picked out the 17 best episodes. That was very hard to do. Okay, I picked like one from each category. And I retold the story from the third person. So it's not interview style. It's a little bit more erotic. The only place where I took Creative Liberty was in the sex scene. So it's even hotter than my episodes.

Starting point is 00:21:33 Like I said, it's told in the third person. And they're all true, just like my show. I mean, these are real stories from my show, just written out. Like I said, in the third person, not an interview style, more like a story, but a true story, a true super hot story. Now, listen, it is available for pre-order now. And it's not coming out until October 14th. And I was like, oh, my God, that's a long time away.

Starting point is 00:21:55 So I figured I'd incentivize people. If you want to pre-order it now, I will give you free access to my Discord if you pre-order it now. All you got to do is screenshot, a pick of the receipt. Just screenshot it to me. Send it to strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And then I will send you the link to my Discord. So that's a little incentive to pick it up now. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster.

Starting point is 00:22:22 The link is in the description. so make sure to click on it. And if you get it, send me the pick of you purchasing and I'll give you free access to my private Discord that is a totally naughty, super hot community with a lot of people over 2500 people over there having fun. Remember email me the pick at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1077 - BONUS EPISODE: Dick Pics Galore w/ Layla

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