Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 110 - Bisexual Lance is Looking for a Relationship with a Female Dominatrix

Episode Date: January 25, 2016

From a very young age Lance not only knew he was into guys, he knew he was heavily into being dominated sexually by women. He's totally into guys, anything and everything anal, spanking, cuckolding, peeing and more and now that he's ready to settle down, he's looking for a female who is into the same. How did he figure out he was into all the stuff he was into at such a young age? How has his sexual preferences gotten in the way of him successfully dating? Will he ever find the perfect girl who is into the same stuff he is? Tune in to find out, plus hear a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your Greek flag lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy.

Uh, sorry. I always say the same fucking thing. If you want to follow the show on Twitter, and I was just about to try to say something else, but I don't know how to say something else because I hate intro. So I'm just going to do what I normally do, which is if you want to follow the show on Twitter, or follow the show on Twitter at Strict Anonymous

or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. If you want to be on the show, I'm always looking for callers who have. have problems who are looking for advice. If you want to be on the show and you have a problem and you want my unprofessional advice, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. Again, that's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. I like to talk to people with any kind of problem. It doesn't have to be about SCX, though those are always fun. It could be any kind of problem. What else? If you want to buy my book, the cartoon Miss Avengers of a total train wreck,

you could buy it. It's on Amazon. It's really fucking funny. And it's a good coffee table book. It's a good book to keep in the bathroom. It's a good book to just read a chapter here or there because each chapter is fucking funny. And it's like a love gone. Very wrong story. If you want to feel better about yourself and your relationships, just read my book because all of my relationships were always horrendous. And that's what my book is. About. So today on the call, I have a guy named Lance. I did a part one and a part two And I've already taped both of them I'm not sure which I think I'm going to air the one more about sex This time He had an add on Craigslist and he was just looking for someone to talk to About the fact that he was a little confused about his sexuality He didn't know if he was by or not and then it turned out it wasn't really that he was confused

Whether he was by or not he just was trying to figure out where his sexuality and what he was into sexually How that could fit into a regular relationship because he's looking for a relationship So we actually got, instead of talking about all his like interesting sexual history, which is very interesting. The first time I spoke with him, we talked all about his relationship history, because that was very interesting too. And he's a pretty complex guy. We went on and on with that for about an over an hour that I was like, oh, we need to do a part two. So we taped another podcast. And I got more into all the sexual stuff and like why he's confused or what he's into that makes it difficult to find a relationship.

and that kind of stuff. So we did one more focus just on, you know, his sexual preferences and how that affects his life. And so that's what I'm going to air today. So stay tuned. I'm going to be right back on with Lance. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, strictly anonymous wants to hear from you.

Send us an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hey, welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast. You're on the call with Kathy. How are you? What are we calling you again? This is a part two, and I forget your name.

Is it Lance? I mean, you made up my real name of Lance. That's your made up name, right? Land. My real made up name. Your real made-up name. Yeah, everyone's strictly anonymous. I don't give a shit.

And I think that you told me after we spoke on the part one, because I said you're from some city that there's a lot of freaks, and you're like, oh, that's not really where you're from. So maybe you're from a place that doesn't have a lot of freaks. But let me just sort of summarize part one, because sometimes I think some people don't listen to all the podcasts, right? So some people might be listening to this one only. You had called in earlier on another podcast,

and we were supposed to sort of get a, to all of your sexual stuff because what I responded to an ad on Gregslist was you saying that you felt like maybe you were bisexual and you just wanted to talk to someone about that. You didn't really know what you're sexual. You were sort of confused about it. And then that podcast turned into a whole thing about you wanting a relationship or getting a relationship and we got like really heavy into spiritual stuff and all these kind of stuff. And I was just like, you know, there were so many other things I wanted to talk to you about. So I'm like, let's do a part two, right? So that's the part two where we're at. So we might overlap and say some things that, you know, or go over some things that we

went over in the first one, but I don't care because I'll space them out enough that, you know, people won't give a shit. Do you know what I mean? So let's see. Yeah. So let's start with your sexuality and your confusion about it because that's what you said on the ad that I actually responded to. So what's the deal with that? And what, like, what are you posting it out on Craigslist sort of looking for advice, like what do you confuse about? You don't know if you're straight or buy or what's your deal? So I would frame it like this. The confusion isn't, it's not a psychological confusion. It's sociological. I understand what my interests and my desires. I don't know where they fit in the group, meaning I don't know in terms of where that fits in my relationship with women.

That's where I'm primarily attracted to women romantically and emotionally. actually attracted to a variety of things. But I, and I'm comfortable in myself, I've always struggled to know where that fits in relationship, where my desires fit. Okay, let me bring up some really early on memories that you had when you were younger. Let's start there, because you said this on the first podcast, and I just want to go over it again. You said when from like the time you were three or five or something like really young age, you knew for sure or you started to get the feelings that you were very,

like physically attracted to like being spanked and being peed on, right? Like those were one of your earliest memories. And then what that turned into is you eventually, I'm going to summarize what we went into again, you eventually got into physically stimulating. I mean, for you jerking off as a kid or as a younger person was all done through your asshole. I mean, there was no stroke in your dick until you were like, 16 years old, right? So those were all of your like first sexual experiences. And then when you had a

real sexual experience with a woman, she sort of treated you like shit and sort of humiliated you. So that shaming thing that was happened to you or you were into very early on, you experienced that with somebody, you know, when you were older. And that still is a theme in your life, right? And so that's really where the confusion comes, I'm assuming, like, you know, you're trying to find a woman and have a normal relationship, but you're worried maybe that some girl wouldn't be into those things as well, and you're still into those things, right? Yeah, you could say that, yeah, because those things, just to clarify, to pick up from last time, those things aren't just, they're not just things that I'm mildly into.

They now are part of how I relate to relationships. So I'm not going away. Right. Now, let me ask you this. When you've had your other relationships in your life, now I know that, you know, you're in your 40s, you've never been married, but you've had relationships. What's your longest? What was the longest long-term relationship you ever had? Six months. Six months. The longest. Oh, okay, for your whole life, no longer than six months ever. I mean, I've had ones that lasted

five and then ended for three and then restarted again. But months, we're never. Over a two-year span. Oh, okay. So like off and on for two years or whatever. Have you ever had like any kind of long-term booty calls? Like, you know, people that you just had sex with and that wasn't necessarily like a emotional relationship, but a sexual relationship that lasts a longer? I've had some of those the longest probably lasted two years, and it was off and on. She'd married. Right. Okay.

So, but so in those relationships with those women that you've had in your life, have you ever brought up the stuff that you're into and had like a bad experience where a girl was like, what the fuck, like get out of here? Or have you never had the balls to sort of bring that stuff up? I always bring it up. Oh, okay. Cool. And how does that go normally?

Or when do you bring it up and how does it bring up? And like, what happens? sometimes sometime between either right before the first time we know we're about to be intimate where it's you know when you're starting a relationship

and you're sure you're gonna be naked with that person sometimes anywhere from there to after the first couple times we have sex it just depends of how strong our communication is right and then how do you bring it up like and what do you start with

do you start with the peeing thing do you start with the dominatrix thing like what do you lead with because I'm just maybe like there's a delivery problem early on i always when whenever i'm getting to know a girl i will drop hints to say that i have i'm not vanilla so i always make that clear and then sometimes they know what that mean sometimes they don't so we talk and i say yeah i'm just there's a variety of things that

there's a variety of ways i relate to sex that wouldn't that might be unconventional to others and um they oh okay sometimes they ask more and sometimes they don't care and if they don't care i bring it up later to go into more detail and i force the subject that they do care, I just go right into it. And I started explaining kind of how I've identified with sex since I was a child. And I've never been, so to answer your original question, I've never been shot down. No one never said, oh my God, that's disgusting. Right. But what I usually get is when I start talking about the loss or the exchange of power, that's kind of how I sum it all up, that and the fluidity of dominance and submission. Forget DDS and M, just the fluid. The

fluidity of sometimes wanting to be in either role all throughout the relationship. So when I start talking about that, and this is probably 70% of the time, this is what happens. They go, oh, yeah, I like that. I've always wanted that at timing up. And they go right into, or though, lately, I think we talked about this in the last podcast, I'll hear, oh, yeah, like 50 shades and great. I love that. And, you know, yeah. But that's backwards.

You want that, right. That's we, we did touch on that. Well, I want an interchange. ideally the girl has to be interested in the dominant side and she could be only dominant and then neutral or dominant and sometimes submissive but she cannot be 100% submissive which is what I usually find right okay so normally so have any of the like submissive girls because they liked you you know because I know how women are normally they're very hopeful and most girls if they really like a guy they try to you know get into what they're into to make it work right

Like, have you had some of these women, like, sort of try to do it and it just didn't work? Like, how does it normally play out afterwards? Because you said that most of them don't say that they're not into it and they don't shoot you down. So what happens after they don't shoot you down? Well, they don't shoot me down. And to answer your question, no. The first thing is that women are absolutely adaptable far more than men. Right.

However, you can only adapt to what you're capable of. And I think because I've attracted such submissive women in my life, what I get is, oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I don't judge that at all. could never do that. And I go, okay. And that's the end of the dialogue. And I've heard that many times. Oh, they listen. They're like, no, no, tell me more. I'm glad you're telling you this. So I open up more and they're like, oh, yeah, tell me more. I open up more. And I'm like, so what do you think? And they're like, it's fascinating. I'm so glad you told me all this. Oh, I could never do that

with you, but I really appreciate you telling me. Did you ever try, let me ask you, because you're older guy, right? And you've been around the block and you, I'm assuming you dated a lot of women, but, you know, none of them really stuck, but you probably have a lot of experience with women? Like, do you, have you ever tried a different approach where it's maybe, like, you didn't talk about it so much and you just maybe brought it up, like, in the heat of passion or try, you know what I mean? Like, because maybe it's like too intellectualized.

Yeah, I've done that too. I've tried where I just like, you know, I'm just going to go with the flow, let the chemistry drive it. And when it comes up, it comes up. Same result. Same results. In fact, yeah, in fact, I found it. Wow, that was a bad investment of time.

I should have just found out up front because, yeah, the way I'm shot down, it's not, it's not the right word because it sounds like it's, I've been degraded, like, fuck you. It's not like that at all. Of course, right. I've never had anybody be rude to me. Women aren't like that. I mean, I wouldn't find a lot of women would actually be that way, even if they're horrified by something, you know what I mean?

Unless I had lied. Right. I'm misrepresented, which I never do. Right. I kind of drop hints. I foreshadow it all the way through. But yes, I've not found. I've found that withholding it is worse because then I've invested three or four months to get nothing.

Yeah, I have to say this on this podcast to my listeners who are a lot of them are guys. Like men don't understand this. And even with me saying that they're still not going to believe me because I've done this with a lot of guys in my life, men don't understand that if you're completely honest with women, you get a whole lot more. They just can't believe it. So many guys think you got to fucking lie and play some game. You know what I mean? And they don't really get that. honestly women will stick around and do a lot more with you and be way cooler if you're

completely honest with them regardless of what that honesty is. I would say that's a human nature thing. I've found the same with the other way around. Right. Yeah. I think you're right though and I think women are capable of adapting to more than men. Yeah, a lot of guys just think that oh and in order to get down a girl's pants I got to pretend and I'm not a player but like you know what if you're a player and I know a lot of women and girls know that like a lot of times maybe they because they liked you but they know there's no future they'll still fuck you if you're honest about it but if you play games and then you make it like you're lying then a girl gets all caught up in that nonsense and then she's less likely to put out whereas maybe if you just put it out there and let her know you really don't want a relationship a lot of times you'll still get that girl and you'll get her in a better way and I've seen that happen a million times but anyway let's get back to you so you these girls so you've never okay let me ask you this though because you have put it out there on Craigslist like this ad that I found, which was, hey, I might be by and I need someone to talk to. Have you ever used Craigslist to sort of find a woman that's into what you're into? Yeah. Yeah. And what happened with that? You just got gay guys. I mean, yeah, a lot of women on Craigslist. Yeah. There are and they're, because I, I, I, I'm, yes, the answer is yes,

not just Craiglass. I've used internet dating to match with women who are into what I'm into. Right. Like you've got on Fed Life and all different things. places. Yes. Okay. What have you? When you wear that as your billboard, then that becomes your brand. And that's a problem because that isn't really my brand.

It's a component. So it's like, that's what you're, it's like the casting. I don't fish, but let's pretend so that I can use this metaphor. You know, if you throw a certain type of bait out there to get a certain kind of fish, you're going to get that fish. Exactly. Whereas, but if you can't continue to feed them that thing, that they're, that metaphor tell apart.

No, I know what you're talking about. Like what you're saying is like, then it just becomes like just all about sex and it's just that person is just one side and that's all that it is right and just you get and maybe and I think you mentioned this on the first podcast a lot of like women that are into it maybe from those websites that maybe have a relationship already they're just sort of looking for an outlet for like a sexual out they're not necessarily looking for the other things that you're looking for which is a full relationship right so when you go on a sex website it's just like you're just most people are just looking for sex and maybe they have their other needs met

elsewhere. You're looking... They're just... Right. They're looking for that one dimension. Right. And when I was younger, that would have worked, it kind of worked for me a little bit when I was younger because I was happy just exploring that physically, but that doesn't

worry. I'm 45. Well, it's not just the age. It's my maturity level. I can't just have that dimension. I want multiple dimensions. Right. You want more from...

You want, you're actually looking for a relationship at this point in your life. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'd like to get married. Right. But you want to, you're not going to settle because you're fine. on your own. You're not sort of desperate for that, right? And it's just like, but you, so of course, it's very important for you to have somebody who not only is compatible with you emotionally and

as your friend and all those things, they have to be compatible with you sexually. And sexually, you're a little out of the box, right? You want a woman who's very dominating in the bedroom, but submissive as a, as a, in the relationship, right? Or you're equal, but not a total domineering personality, right? I do have a domineering personality. You do, but you don't want the girl to have it, is what I'm saying. I like a balance, except in the bedroom, it can be 50-50, or I'm sorry, it's still be a balance. That is a balance. Or I can just completely surrender.

And let me ask you this. Do you want the girl to allow you to sleep with guys, or do you believe that you could be? Because you are, we haven't got into the bisexual thing yet, but you are by, right? You have been with guys. And you do like that kind of, you do enjoy men as well. you don't want a relationship with a guy, you want the relationship with a girl. Do you want a relationship with a girl who will allow you to sleep with guys? Is that a deal breaker for you?

If I were to state the ideal world, I would want a woman who want, they can just allow isn't the right word. It would be she wanted that because she wanted to do it as well, where maybe she was dating the guy. And it was part of our role play where she was dominant and having him. And then I was occasionally allowed in there as well. Right. And that goes down. Right. right, I'm sure there's women that are into that, like, and she's the one that's making you two,

like, sort of fuck each other or whatever. Yeah, she's directed. Would you care if she fucked other guys? No, I'm far more monogamous than I expect from my partner. I would rather just be with her and maybe someone she selects or, but, and it's not that, let's not say I don't care. It's that I don't take that. If it's part of our dynamic, that she will pursue another guy or whatever she wants, a girl.

and it's sort of built into our relationship, then it's part of it actually contributes to the dynamic. If it's something she does on the side and has nothing to do with me, then I'm not sure that that works for me. Right. If it's like a cheating scenario when she's having some sort of a relationship with someone behind your back, that's a different story. But if it's a part of your guy's sexual experiences,

you're open to that. Like it wouldn't freak you out to see her fuck another guy, but you want to fuck other guys. No, I'd be turned on. If she recognized it, yeah, that would be a great thing. I like that lot. I have a guy. You're going to be very jealous about this one guy that I talked to.

I have a guy and he was like married, been there, done that, had the white picket fence and like, you know, in his later life found a woman and she had been married and everything. And they were, I think, in their 50s. And they, he was by and was very, just like you, very monogamous. He had one guy that even monogamous like with guys, you don't know what I mean. He didn't want to be any very like into a real relationship. But he happened to find a woman who was into. I forget if she fucked the guys too,

but he was allowed to have this guy and have her, and they were like swingers, and he had exactly what you're looking for. So I do believe that it exists, right? But I think it's definitely harder. Now, you don't want to have a relationship with a guy, right? Like you, but you say you're confused, yeah.

Yeah, and we have to draw a distinction. You use the word swinger. I would never consider myself that or this experience swinging, because swinging tends to be about a group yeah this multiplicitous sexual experience with multiple people

that's not my thing so what you want if you want to bring a guy say you meet the girl right and she's like what you want she's the dominatrix she will let you fuck guys like what do you want to do

on the guy side of things do you want one guy to be involved or do you want random guys like how do you experience because I get that you're very monogamous when it comes to women how is your

how is your situation with guys like what do you like variety when it comes to men or do you like the same guy? If a woman is in the mix and she's driving it, I'd like her to pick the template. If I'm sort of like,

she's like, oh, I don't have any opinion, you know, go do your own thing on the side, which is not my ideal. Then I do have a particular type. And yes,

I would go. I would much prefer to have just one dude. Yes. Right. But what if she, but if you're with the woman and she's involved, what is the perfect threesome for you?

Is it like random guys all the time? Is it a guy that you, is it the same guy? It's a regular guy that she has, She has an emotional connection to and a sexual one. And I find him attractive too. I don't need to know him very well. I'd rather, in fact, it would be better if I didn't.

Oh, you might be into, what is those relationships called polyamorous? What is it called? Not polyamorous. It's more like a cuck-holding relationship. Because you want to be the second, like you don't want to be the main guy. You want to sort of be the side guy, but have a relationship with her. Like you want her to have a relationship with the guy and you want to come in and sort of, Because you want a relationship too, right?

Yeah, yeah. So you have to understand, even in cuckolding relationships, even though it appears that the guy is being degraded, he seems to be secondary. It's actually a very, it's really focused on him because it's his fantasy that's being lived out. But just for clarity, I don't want that full time. I just like that.

You asked how would I want to experience a third or a guy in the relationship? That's how. And we could do that for a couple months and then go back to our lives and then try it again. want her to have, it's important though for you, ideally you said you want her to have an emotional relationship with him as well, right? It would be better. Yes, it would turn me on better if she's.

Yeah, otherwise, what's the, should she getting out of it? Well, she can connect to me. That's great because our bond grows. But, you know, women don't relate to sex in the same way. So if I don't think she's really enjoying it, I'm not going to enjoy it either. I have to see that. Well, but maybe she's. She's just enjoying it for the sex, just like you, listen, you told me in the first podcast that you enjoy men sexually, but you don't, you know, connect with them emotionally.

You would never want to date. You know what I mean? So maybe she would be able to draw that line with you, whereas she would be with you, but just want to do the whole cuckling thing with the other guy. And it would just be sexual with him. I'll give me an example. There are some boundaries. So I do have a close friend who I've never met her in person, but we've been penned out. for like nine years now.

And she's into very much these same things. And when we framed how it would all work, when we've talked about maybe, you know, living near each other, her other men, her other guys are always guys who are just younger than her that she likes them. She's drawn to them, but she would never take them seriously in terms of a relationship. I'm the guy she's interested in for a long-term relationship, but they would be props, so to speak, that she liked, but they're bedroom toys.

Mm-hmm. So why does she live nine miles? Why are you, like, why is she so far away and why have you not met and why is this talk for nine years and why haven't you guys gotten it on? Oh, that's a narrative obstacle. Yeah, we're not going to get into that because, oh, in another country. Yeah, that's going to speak to the whole thing where what I went into in the first podcast, which is I think you're like commitment phobic and sort of have a thing with relationships. And you did sort of agree to it on some level, but I don't want to make this podcast totally about that, because we already talked about that, right? But so she lives in another country.

She kind of is somebody that's into what you're into. You guys talk about it. You figured out how it would work between you two, but it's never happened yet. You've never even met her. Correct. I can't keep talking on the phone a lot. We used to talk every day,

but I can't work in her country. Well, could she work here? I don't have a career there. She cannot move here. She's got children who cannot leave their father. who's local to that area. So we're in an impasse. I can't, I don't know.

Okay, forget about her. It's not going to happen anyway. So I, and I don't want to get into your commitment issues, but I mean, it's not a coincidence that the one girl that is perfect for you lives in another fucking country. Same with her. If I talk to her, I'd be like, yeah, duh. Like, of course, every guy is too young.

It doesn't fit. And the one guy that's perfect for you lives in another country. You know what I mean? Nine years later, you're still fucking talking about it. But let's go back to like, because you're like, you're here. you're in America right now, like you actually do want a relationship. You're done with, you know, that girl's not enough for you. Like you, you want something in real life, right? So you've tried online dating. It didn't sort of work. You're doing Craigslist now sort of putting out there like you

might be by. And what are you trying to attract on there? Are you looking more for a guy to hook up with? Are you hoping that a woman sort of sees that ad and reaches out to you? So, to be clear, I put the ad in, um, uh, strictly the tonic. And I have gotten a lot of responses. Yeah, and I was looking for a woman to talk to. Right. And what I seek from that is just resonance, someone who wants to discuss this topic, not necessarily, see, remember what I said, if I put an ad out saying, I'm looking for this kind of sex.

Exactly, you're going to get a, right. Yes. So what I'd rather have is someone who just wants to relate on that topic, and then we can talk about all kinds of things. And that's what I have gotten. I do tend to get interesting responses, one or two times. that I posted that ad over the last few years I've gotten

I actually had dates come out of it but I haven't found a relationship out of it it is just one technique one way of getting the message out there right and so but do you still do regular online dating as well right now in your life just to okay yeah and how long do you wait

yeah yeah that's cool and how long do you wait like before you sort of bring up yourself do you talk about the whole I think it's harder to find I think the dominatrix thing is not so bad. The peeing thing may be fine. I think the worst thing or the hardest thing, I think you have to get a girl that's like sort of,

it is the guy thing, right? Like a girl that's open, right? That's probably where a lot of girls are like, oh, no, that's maybe crossing a line, right? I know. One of the things you said in the last podcast is actually, they usually go together. You can find a girl who's really,

really into dominating a guy. chances are she's also into male bisexuality. For whatever reason, those seem to go together. Right. It's just finding, but for me, the Holy Grail has always been finding that woman who also has a similar life to me. I'm educated. Yeah, exactly.

Right. Right. So it's really like, you know that women like that exist, but you're looking for the right relation, you're looking for a real relation of not just sexual. So it has to, all the stars have to align. And that's always hard with anyone, right? Because the right, you know, that's why I think people settle down and stick with one person when they finally find it. Because it's hard to find.

If it was easy to find the right, the one, right? Nobody would ever settle. If I didn't have this sort of sexual oddity, I would have, I've met many, probably 10 women in my life who I would have married. They were just wonderful women, vanilla. They were all vanilla. Like that. It's wonderful. Right.

Interesting. I do believe, though, that. Perfectly compatible. Mm-hmm. Right. Now let me ask you about, so when you, I remember we talked about this in the first podcast, but I forget. How old were you when you lost your virginity with a woman? 20.

And then how old were you when you lost your virginity with a guy? 36. Somewhere in there. I think about 36. Yeah. Right. It was with a transsexual the first time. And now I had a podcast recently about a gay guy and I learned all about tops and bottoms because I didn't really know.

I thought maybe people would switch around. But normally with the gay community and I'm assuming it's the same with bisexual guys. Like someone's really like a top or bottom. What are you again as far as that's concerned? I'm a bottom. You're a bottom. Always a bottom, right? So you like to get fucked in the ass.

And that stems of course from like those early days where you were like shoving things up your ass when you were a little kid. Right? I mean, that's what you just like that just, you just figured that out, right? Did that happen by accident? I forget how you figured out that you liked things inside your ass. It, I wouldn't know. It happened by nature. I don't know if we'd call that accident.

I discovered it. Like you discovered your vagina. No, mine was by accident. Like a pencil just wound up there on my clit. And no, and it moved around. And I was like, holy fucking shit. I mean, I wasn't doing it on purpose. I don't think.

I mean, you laugh. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Well, I mean, I accidentally fell on a man's penis and it went inside me. Yeah, but you were 36. Come on. You were 36. That's bullshit.

I'm talking when I was like, five. I mean, I was real. I was like a little kid that didn't know what the hell was going on. So you were fine actually I mean I'm debating Okay well you let's talk about Let's just bring this up Because people might have not heard it on the first podcast

One of the first memories you have is you put something up your ass When you were really little It was like something off of your bicycle And you were like running around naked And it felt really good And your parents were like horrified by it right But you did it out in public Because you didn't know anything was wrong with it

Yeah and I already knew That touching my anus felt good Maybe from wiping or who knows, you know, we're touched in that area by other people from the time were infants. And I always thought it felt good. I must have because when I stuck that thing in my butt at age three, I already knew it was a good idea. Right. And then when did you start sort of using that and like masturbating? Purposely, more consciously?

Yeah. I'd say Bobby by age five. I was, and to refresh, I didn't really identify sexual feelings with my. cock. I identified them with my ass. So whenever I would feel sexual, I would go to my ass. I would put things in there, a finger myself, that's what I did. I would lay on my stomach and do that. And you talked about how you didn't know that, like, you were supposed to stroke your dick, right? So, like, were you able to come? Like, were you coming when you were doing those things to your ass? Or just you were just getting erections and just sit?

I was getting erections and I would pre-come, but I didn't even know that an ejaculation was a possibility. I didn't really understand the whole thing. Remember, we didn't have video porn in the 70s. Well, we did, but I didn't see it. Right. I didn't know. But were you getting blue balls? I mean, was that painful?

I forget what you said. I know I asked. It wasn't because I was young, and I think you can handle it when you're 12, 13, 14, around the time I was 15 or so right near the, when I first learned to ejaculate, I was starting to get painful. Like, blue balls really just feels like a headache in your testicle. That's what it feels like. Right.

We're starting to get that. And then how to do you do that? you figure out, oh my God, I'm supposed to rub this and then some jizz comes out. Like, when did that happen? I was reading the Penn House forum about a guy masturbating. You don't remember letters to Penthouse? Uh-huh, totally. I had read articles about guys masturbating or stories.

We should call them stories fiction. But this guy actually explained the motion. And I was reading and thinking, oh. And so I tried it. And I did it the repetitiveness. He actually used the word repeated motion. And I ejaculated. And I was blown it away and I did it again.

I was like, oh my God, that's what everybody's been talking about all these years. Interesting, though, that I still think, and I know that, I don't know, because I was having sex when I was 15, I still think, like, that's a really late age, even though there's no porn or whatever to, like, in all those times alone in your room, all those times things rubbed up against your dick, because I think I brought this up too before, like, that you never realized, like, oh, I just, like, move this around and then, you know, I could come. Like you don't find that there was maybe some sort of little, a slight block there somewhere? Yeah, maybe. But to this day, like, if you were going to give me a blowjob or rim me, rimming me feels better. It's still far more nerve endings and more sensation on my ass than on my cock.

In fact, I don't really, I don't love getting a blowjob. It's okay. It feels good, but I would rather have sensation on the other side of my body. Right, but don't you think that maybe you formed those little, like, sort of connections when you were younger because you, that's when you were having all those sexual, those first sexual experiences and that's, you put those connections together.

I know for me, a clitoral, you know, stimulation is much more powerful for me than a vaginal one because that's all I ever did when I was younger. That's where all my sexuality came from the top. But when I first had sex and the guy was going so low down, I'm like,

where the fuck are you going? Like I was used to being stimulated up further on my vagina. Do you understand? So, like, I think that when we, when we start in those early times sort of, you know, sexually stimulating ourselves, we make the connection of what, you know, it's like practice makes perfect. Like you were like using your ass constantly.

So of course, because there's plenty of guys that find it far more pleasurable to get blowjobs than to have a rim job. Some guys don't feel anything in their ass. You know, so it's not like that the cock doesn't have any nerve endings. It's just yours doesn't get us stimulated probably because you didn't wire. yourself that way. Don't you think that it has something to do with it? That's a very postmodern way of looking at how biology works. It may be true. Maybe we do construct our own sexual sensations at that age. Or maybe it's just how I was naturally constructed. I don't know the answer to that. I mean,

come on. I mean, the chances are because like the facts are that you were like just stimulating your ass from the time you were five to the time you were 15. I mean, that's a good. You're, good 10 years. That's a long chunk of time. Do you know what I mean? So it seems... But that's not evidence that I constructed that, that nature didn't construct that. It's just, you're right, though.

But I don't know, did I do that? Did I only discover my ass? Because that's really what my body is telling me. Right. And what about the P thing? How do you know that the P thing turned you on? Like, how did that play out at such a young age? I don't, that's a, it's more of a mystery. I only have one vague memory of being

about three or four. and playing in a closet with this little girl. And we both had just peed. And she pulled down her pants and peed a little bit and showed me. And I was just so attracted to that. That's all I remember. But I've never not been attracted to that. And I don't know if that was the start of it.

I don't know. I just always found that erotic. Right. And now did you ever get a girl to do that with you? Have you ever lived out your peeing fantasy or have you just sort of lived it out in your fantasies in your mind? Okay. Yeah, I've done that.

No, that doesn't turn me on with a guy. That's only from females. Right. And yeah, I've done that. Sure. So you have found girls that will pee on you. Yeah. Let's be clear to the audience, though.

Not like random girls. Hey, I'm looking for a stranger. No, it has to be, you know, within the confines of someone I trust. And I have to be turned on. She has to be as well. Yes, I've done that. My face, my mouth, my body, whatever. You like to drink it, too.

I have done that. It has to be, it's like swallowing. come from a guy. You can't just do it randomly. Well, you can mean you're 15, but you know, when you're a girl giving your first blow job, if you're really, really emotionally drawn to the guy, that's not an issue for, I think, a lot of us. If you're not, you don't, you don't really want their semen in your mouth. It's the same to piss. If I'm really into the girl and I'm very, you know, attracted, it's not an issue. If she wants me to swallow, I swallow it. If she doesn't, I don't. It's kind of like what turns her on. Right. I get it. But you're into that

because there is something else that you were into it, like a shaming that's been. banking, shaming thing, right? So the peeing on the face and the, in your mouth, like, there's some sort of shame involved in that, too, right? Isn't that a part of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, if she's just doing it and we're like having a nice time, that's not fun for me. It has to be in a bit of a degrading act. Like, she has to do it as an act of dominance. Otherwise, yeah, it doesn't, doesn't have the effect. I need to be in her submissive role for that and be enjoyable. Right. And you, you let, so submissive to you is like, I guess maybe that's what it always is to everybody.

There's a shaming aspect to it. Like that's what submission is. It is to men. Female submissives don't cite shame as something they're drawn to. For them, it's control and loss of power. Most, I think, male submissives tend, so here's something to think about. Male submissives tend to be drawn to the sense to shame and emasculation specifically. Female submissives don't want to be defeminized.

They want to be degraded, objective. and controlled, but they don't want to lose femininity or be shamed. That some do, I'm not going to, but most don't. Right. Because I play both sides. And women, it's typically like get tied up, get controlled, be disciplined, but shame them. Like they don't, like urinate on a girl. No, no, no, no, no.

Rarely you'll ever find a girl who wants that. Or girls who want the reverse of cuck holding. They want to watch you talk another girl. No, no, no, no, no. Now, let me ask you, do you, as far as the peeing thing is concerned, is it mostly because you want to be dominated? you want to be ashamed. So the peeing thing is like you want people to pee on you.

Are you into doing it to them or no? I had one girl. I dated one girl who wanted me to do it to her. And it didn't, it was not appealing to me the same way I don't. I don't like coming in a girl's face. Like if I'm going to come, even if I'm in a dominant role, that doesn't appeal to me. So no, it's not, it only is the submissive does it appeal to me. Right, right.

So that's really, so like you say, and you said this early on, that like what you're into is very much a part of yourself at the. this point in your life, you know exactly what you like. You've been there, done that, right? So, you're very specific, right? And so, I mean, I do believe, like I said, that there's women that are into that. And you cop to that, right? You've met women. But the problem is you're not looking for them just to be into that. Sexually, you're looking for that same woman to fall in love with and to get married and whatever, you know, and have that white picket fence, you know, and that's more the issue, right? Is finding that girl that you connect with intellectually, because like you say,

you're very educated and you're smart, you know, and have that same woman be into being open to you, being bisexual and all that other stuff. Open? You mean she has to desire that. Well, it's got to be her thing, just like it's your thing. Yeah. So, yeah. So what are you, so you're on online dating, right?

You're on Craigslist sort of looking for women and that might be a way for you to make friends with a woman and then maybe, like you say, you're not leading with the sex thing like you're looking for someone so that weeds out those women that are just looking for a one-night stand, right? Do you have anybody that's like a contender right now in your life? No, I did as of the tell like four hours ago. Oh my God, please tell me that story because I'm going to pick it apart.

So the ad you responded to, another young lady responded at young, she's my age roughly. We went on a couple dates, really, really hit it off. It was good, good chemistry. She was, I would say, in the BDS. moral you'd call her a switch she liked it both ways but she was actually more interested in being dominant so that was all and she was very very open and actually not just open she's really interested in everything that we were aligned in that way we were not aligned in other ways though she lacked an education

very intelligent human though but um and then i came to later learn she had a couple felonies she couldn't ever get a wheel like a like a proper job now i'm not blaming her for that i blame the system it shouldn't be that way. But she was just in such a different place in life and can't really do the things I'm doing and hasn't been really pursuing what I've been doing for the last 20 years. There was enough. We just don't have enough in common outside of the bedroom. And how long do you know her for before you found out all that? And how many dates had you been on her with her? Two dates. Two dates. Lots of dial. I know. Yeah, two days. Many phone calls. She lives at a 30 minutes. minutes or many, lots of emails, lots of phone calls, lots of texting, gotten to know each other.

I would say we probably are still friends. There was nothing negative. It was a very positive, really got to know each other. Yeah, a lot of connection, a lot of openness, very good communication. But I think, and I think she recognized there was lack of compatibility. She did acknowledge that. But where was the lack of compatibility? I get that maybe you don't like the way, like, what is the, how does, like, her not,

like, her past have to do with, like, competitive? compatibility now? Like, how did that play out in the fact that you would not think you guys were compatible? Okay. Well, I don't want to give out too much because of anonymity, but I'll just leave it at say she's a heavy drug user and I didn't really, once I started realizing to the degree that she was, I realize that's where I'm headed in my life. Right. She's totally into that now. No, that's a problem. If somebody's like really into drugs and are doing it and you're not, you know, especially if you're looking for a relationship. I mean, you know, that's not really. How old was she? 37. Wonderful person. And I don't mean drugs like meth. It's not like that.

She does some psychedelics for meditation purposes, but the amount she's doing is just not my thing. I'm not pursuing that in my life. I'm not going to relate to someone well if they're constantly tripping to, you know, get insight. It's just not where I am. Yeah. No, that's a certain type of person.

And she probably loves that stuff and she would probably never give it up. And it's probably like, you know, she's probably like not an addict or has a drug problem. Like you said, it's just she just uses it for that purpose and she probably like, you know, probably really works for her. Yes. Her last boyfriend died of an overdose. I didn't, when I found that out too, I started putting it together in my head. This is what she's typically attracted to as well. So she does drugs. That's definitely like a deal breaker. I totally get that. Um, so you have no other prospects, right? But that's what you're looking for. And that's what that ad is about online, right?

The ad is about, yeah, it's not about that. Well, yes, it's about finding some kind of resonance with people who, well, women who can relate or understand. Right. So when you say you're confused about your sexuality, you're not confused. Like, you know, like you're into guys, but you have no interest in having an emotional relationship with them. You know that you're interested in women and exactly how you're interested in them, as well

as, you know, that's who you, emotionally attached to and you're looking for that in your life because you're older and you want to settle down. So really what you're confused about is how to find somebody who is compatible with you. Yeah. Or even if there is that. There is. Listen to my podcast.

I can give you two guys on my podcast alone who have exactly what you're looking for. And those are just two people that call into my show. They are men. But they're bisexual men that have women. that are totally into it, that get off on that, and they're looking very similar to you. Okay, well, evidence of, I'm not going to give you hard time, but evidence of that it exists to say,

I had two women called looking for that same thing. That's more valuable. What's the same thing? What are you talking about? The same thing. It is the same. I don't know what you mean. Where are we, where's the disconnect of what we're not talking about the same thing?

What do you mean the same thing? Well, I mean, when somebody said, oh, I, know it exists. I know two guys that's like, well, I'm not looking for guys. I'm looking for, you know. No, they're guys like you that have the kind of woman you're looking for. A woman who's open to them being bisexual and being with one man on the side and they're into it. And they're very monogamous and they have a very loving relationship. But they're on the same page sexually as well. And they have very normal good relationships. So what I'm saying is if there's all those people in the world, And I've already bet two just on my podcast, which is a lot considering. Imagine how many more people there are out there. If those two guys could find it, you certainly can. I think sometimes when you think it's not possible, then it just won't be.

We got into all that garbage. I'm not going to get into that as well here. But I think I do believe, and I've said this a thousand times in my podcast, like if you do that, there's somebody for everybody, you know, just watch an episode of intervention. and you'll see somebody drooling in a puddle and you'll see her partner come out and save her. So a drooler, you know, a drug addict drooler

who's like a fucking useless. I mean, there's people with no legs that are in wheelchairs with half of a body and they partner up and have babies with somebody. I mean, like, you know, every, but there is somebody for everyone. So I don't believe that there isn't that person that exists for you.

It's harder to find, yeah. But when you find it, you know, it'll be that much better because it is very rare and you're more likely to sort of stick with it and not take it for granted, right? Because you know how hard it is to find somebody. But that woman definitely exists. I believe in that fully, you know, for sure. I mean, are there anything that you decide to throw out the window as far as like,

okay, you know what? Like, I take this and this and that. And if I can't find a girl that's into that, maybe I could give that up, like, just so that it sort of increases your chances. Well, if you want to, like, assemble like a buffet, yeah, I don't have to have a girl who has to piss on me. I mean, the fundamental thing, or do every single nuance of every one of my fantasies, because that's not realistic. The fundamental thing is that we can discuss things and she's interested in at least the dialogue.

If we can't connect on it, there's nothing. No, but you had a lot of women, no, no, no, but you had a lot of women in the past that you said that could connect in the dialogue. But when it came down to the act of it, they just were, they just couldn't go there. It wasn't a part of them like it is a part of it. I would, yeah, and I would say, I don't even think that's what, they understood me, like, they knew the words I was saying, but they could not relate whatsoever. And to me, that was enough of it. That's a disconnect.

But, like, let me ask you this. Like, so a girl could maybe not piss on you, but are the things that you definitely have to have is definitely a girl has to be into the, you know, a dominant person in the bedroom as well as open to you being bisexual? Are those two things that you were, would never give up for a relationship? Correct. It would be very difficult. for me to not have, I don't know how I would be satisfied if I,

no, that's cool. Yes. I think as long as you know exactly what you want, you put that out there, it's like intention, you know, and it's like if that's exactly what you want and you're not settling for anything less and you want a relationship and that has to be included, you could find that. I do, I do believe. If you don't believe that that person exists, then it's going to be harder to find for

sure. I agree. You know, but if you believe and you know, because it's not like you're looking for 20 people to match that criteria, you're looking for one, you know. So the chances are with all the people in the world, I mean, it's actually like more unrealistic to say that it doesn't exist. Like that's actually statistically more of a stretch. You know what I mean? So the fact that you need one person, there's probably hundreds of thousands of people that could fit into that category. You just have to just keep out there. You know, it's probably a numbers game with you.

You just have to keep dating and dating and dating and dating and dating. and dating until you meet that one person who is right and who fits. You know, you're 44 years old. That's young for a guy. They want to get married. You could still have kids, you know, and have that relationship that you want. So I think it's great that you're putting, you know, a lot of effort into doing it now at this age because in the next year or two, like, you could definitely find that person

if you just keep at it. I think you have to just keep trying. And I brought this up in the first podcast because I look at like what happened with me with the baby situation. It was very hard for me to have a baby. And what I did was I just keep trying until I had the baby. And, you know, I had to change plans. I had to change routes.

I had to do a lot of different things to find, to make that happen. But what I learned is that when you want something, you just keep trying until you get exactly what you want. And that's what you have to do. There's no way if you just keep dating women and date all avenues. I think it's great that you're dating on regular websites, that you've been on those fet what you know those other like fetish websites as well as you're on craigslist doing you know the ad that you have now i think that's great put out as many feelers and as many you know sort of baits out there right to get as many women in because the chances are eventually you're going to find

that perfect fit i believe there's somebody for everyone i absolutely do yeah yeah i'm with you yeah i and so like i wish you luck like this is the part two so we'll definitely have a part three when you get in a relationship that's longer than six months. But let's hear about your relationship when it's two months in so maybe we can save you from like ending it anytime early soon. Because sometimes there is a part of me that believes that maybe there's like commitment issues that are going on with you just because of I hear certain things and I had commitment issues. So I totally I I know my people. Do you know what I mean? And I hear there's always certain things with people who have commitment issues that there's always sort of similarities that I see.

but we got into that a lot in the first podcast, so we don't need to get into it now. But I think that if you're ready for a relationship, I don't believe just because you have commitment issues, that's going to happen, you know, stay with you the rest of your life. You can make a decision that you want a relationship, and that's a done deal, and you could get that. You know, I believe that.

And I think that's where you're at. So I think it's exciting because, you know, that means that that relationship is around the corner. And I'd love to hear about it when you meet that girl, woman. Well, thank you. So no, thank you. Thank you for calling in again and being so, honest, but I look forward to our third call when maybe you met somebody.

All right. Sounds good. All right. So keep us posted. Thanks so much for calling in again. Thank you. Thanks. Bye, last.

Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August. 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it. like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is

available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audio book, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at Gmail. and I will send you the link to Discord.

So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast. at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name and remember everything is strictly anonymous strictly anonymous