Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1105 - Titty F***ing, Foot Jobs, Vasectomies,Sexless Marriages and More w/Layla

Episode Date: May 3, 2025

Tune in to hear Kathy and Layla answer all kinds of audience questions. Tune in to hear all the details including what Kathy and Layla think a dick tastes like, how they shave their privates and how and why guys should shave their balls, whether or not they both enjoy tit fucking a guy, what a good foot job entails and whether girls dig giving them, why women prefer hovering over sitting on a public toilet and what that should change??, their inappropriate gynecologist stories and exactly what went down, whether or not women use everyday household objects sometimes to jerk off,the things guys use around the house as well, what a guy can do when their partner doesn’t want sex, vasectomies and whether s guy should or should not get one, how to protect yourself from people who might give you an STI, how to really have safe sex, doxypep and what Layla uses it for, acting out sexually vs. having wild sex for fun and how and why they can be different, sexless marriages and what to do about them plus a whole lot more. To see HOT, anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! Check out Curious Girl Diaries: https://www.thecuriousgirldiaries.com MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠ To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For 20% off your Butter Wellness perineum massager use code STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2508-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code anonymous to get an additional 10% off the campaign’s current discount - that’s 60% off ⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Get $10 off Shameless Care’s female viagra cream, just click on the link and use code: Strictly Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠ Everything else ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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is super cheap considering what you get. You get every single episode, and I do six now a week, okay? You get every single episode early and ad free. You also get every single anonymous hot pick of all my female guests. You want to put a body to any of the girls that I've had on my show. They're all over on my Patreon. You also get monthly Q&As that I do every other week. You get bonus episodes, like the Dick Pick contest one where me and Layla are rating everyone's dicks, okay, you get that. You also get access to my private discord. Now, my private discord is a super fun place because that is a place where everyone gets to talk to each other. People could post videos, naughty X-rated videos, naughty X-rated pictures. People are hooking up on my Discord. There's over

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Discord? If you just want to get into my Discord, all you got to do is pre-order my book. There's a link in the description or just Google it, Strictly Anonymous Confessions Book. You're going to find it. It's all over. You pre-order it. Take a screenshot of your order and email it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast.gumel.com. If you pre-order it, I will send you a link into my Discord. So you could also get into my Discord that way. And it's super fun. That We'll get you in forever. The link to the book is in the description and email it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. Okay, today is a super fun episode with Lela.

She wanted me to come on her show, actually, Curious Girl Diaries, and answer some of her listeners questions. And they were like all over the place. It was a super fun episode. We talk about so many different things from like titty fucking to foot jobs, to vasectomies, to STIs, to unwanted pregnancies, to sexless marriages. as we cover it all. And it was like super interesting.

I'm like, I'm going to put this on one of my sexual health Saturdays episode because we did talk a lot about a lot of sex stuff. And it's a very informative episode. It's super interesting. It's always fun to talk to Layla. If you want to know all the questions that we answer, I'll put most of them in the description. So you could read the description.

If you want to know more, but it's a very fun in Q&A, you're going to love it. So I'm going to be right back on with Layla. All right. This is inspired by my Tuesday episode where I answered. a listener's questions and I just kind of went one by one. Well, after I did that, I just got bombarded with questions. So we're going to go through and answer this stuff. Here's my first question to you, Kathy. What does a dick taste like? What does a dick taste like? Hmm, does a dick have a taste? I mean, I know what jizz and sperm and cum taste like and that varies, right? And a lot of times

the guy I blow nowadays will be like, how was it today? You know, I mean, I'll be like clean or, you know, oh, maybe he took too much medicine. I don't know. He asked for like. It varies, right? Totally. But like, what does it dick taste like? I feel like it does kind of have a taste depending on, you know, probably the last time they

showered, what time of the day it was. Maybe sometimes it's a little, right? A little musty maybe, but nothing. Yes. But it's not like a pussy. Yeah. But it's not like a pussy. Like it has like a real terrible taste.

like you got him later in the day or, you know, but there's definitely a difference if like he just came out of the shower and it's freshly washed, right? Correct. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think as far as if we're talking about the actual skin portion of it, I don't, there's no, there's no taste differential. What the differentials come from what's coming out of the penis and what and then the smell. differential. So like you were saying, like, sometimes there's kind of more of a clean smell, sometimes there's more of a musty smell. And then I don't, I actually couldn't, I've never run across a dick that smells bad. But I don't think it's a smell. I think it's a taste. But maybe what you're saying is like what I'm talking about isn't really a taste. It's a smell. I do think, though, that skin and people's skin, we all have furmoans and we all have like stuff that comes out of

skin that gives everybody a flavor. So I do think even the dick skin has a sort of different flavor guy to guy time a day to time a day. But maybe it's the smell that I'm thinking, I don't know. But it doesn't, it's not like, oh, you know, you could tell if he's got an infection like a girl or like if it's bad. It's like really fucking gross. It's very subtle. But I think that there's a difference. Well, I love that. I love that there's a I love that you just identified. There's a differential in the dick skin smell. Yes. Because you're really kind of going deep with that.

I haven't actually broke it down like that. You want to know something even more fascinating? Can we just talk about pussy smells for one second? Sure. Because, you know, there was, you know, there's so, like, there's all kinds of, like, myths and urban things out there that, like, you know, myths that people say, like, oh, like, black girls pussy smell really bad. And a lot of guys won't go down on them for a reason and stuff.

And I'm just like, is that, like, a, I asked one of my guy friends who goes down on girls. I'm like, is that like a real. thing. He's like, I don't think so. And so like, I went Googling. Like, why do people say that? And this is what I came across, okay? That everybody has these kind of like scent glands or certain kinds of glands. I forget what they're called, but they're like sweat glands. Like you have them in your armpits, you have them in your body. And every race has a different amount of them. And Asians have the least amount of them. That's why Asian people, did you know, don't even have to use deodorant. They have zero smell anywhere. Literally, most of them don't even have to use deodorant. Literally, most of them don't even have to use deodorant.

because these stinky glands, they have the least amount. White people have medium amounts. We need deodorant. Your pussy could smell a little whatever, but like, you know, it has a flavor and a scent. And black people have the most of those glands. Isn't that fucking interesting? It's like a real thing. I forget what those glands are called, but it's a real thing.

Yeah. No, I know. I think it's right on this, my tongue, it's bugging me. I know what those glands are called and I can't think of it right now. Darn it. But that makes sense. I didn't realize there was a. Actually, I didn't realize there was a difference in the races.

Yeah, for sure. I know. Fascinating. Okay, well, we'll let our listeners like Google that. Yeah, and I'm going to Google whether the glands are in the dick. I think that's what I was kind of bringing it there. Like, maybe those, are those glands on the, are there those glands on the dicks? I don't know.

I don't think so because I just don't think that glands have like, I mean, dicks have a, that, like, variety, that, like that much of a difference of smell. But anyway, you could go on to the next question. Sorry. Okay. I know. And these are like, let me just say, these are really random questions. I like it. Yeah.

How do women shave around the vulva without cutting themselves? Oh, God. You know, I was watching Shark Tink. Are you asking me? Can I answer it real quick? I don't want to cut you up. Okay. Oh, yeah.

You're asking me. I'm not used to. Okay. So listen, I was just watching Shark Tink. And there was a guy. I love Shark Tink, by the way. And there was a guy who invented. I love it.

Yeah, well, there was a guy who invented a razor that is like round and goes around. faces and bald heads and balls and I would say vulvas and it was so fucking smart because every razor out there is like sort of shape like you know it's kind of straight and you have to like move the razor around where this one was like round and so you didn't have to like work it now listen before my son was born I did the best thing that I ever did in my whole life which was I lasered every inch of hair off of every part of my body that could ever be so I haven't like owned a razor in probably like nine years, 10 years, 11 years. It's starting to grow back a little bit, which is slightly devastating because I'm on

more hormones, right? And it's growing back and I'm like, oh, fuck. So, but I used to always get nicked and I don't like it. I hate fucking shaving. It is a problem because you have to get into these weird areas. It's annoying, right? Yes. No, so I can say from my own experience that, yes, I mean, you absolutely have to

and then the kind of the follow-up question is about women shaving their ass cracks. So you have to, when I get in the shower, I know, like do women, the next one is do women shave their ass crass. Okay. So when I should, if you got hair there, you better. Oh, yeah. Like, why do you want hair around your ass? I mean, basically from the V down, like, you know, I just have a little a V up above my clit, but anything below that, it's all. shaved,

lasered, well, it's lasered rather, but there are some stragglers. So I get in there and yeah, you have to pull the lips

a certain way. You have to tug and pull to make the skin straight. Like, I don't think it's any different than a guy with a ball sack. If you want to, how do you get your balls

like super, super smooth? And let me just tell you that I like to put balls in my mouth and I do like balls with no hair on them. So I do like, you know,

a manscaped man. So I think men have the same problem probably shaving their balls, especially because they're so wrinkly and stuff. You know what I mean? They got a problem around. It's like a sharp hay down there. So I just think that it's a real pain in the ass, but you know, self-care is, it's got to be done. So fucking either go get laser. Let me just tell you something, though.

I'm going to tell you. I bought the you like laser. You like 10. Okay. It's all over the Instagram and everything. And it is the only laser at home that actually effing works. And I do believe it would work on ball hair. It's not that big of an area.

And this thing, it's probably about $300. But it actually works, gets rid of the hair and it never comes back. Kathy, I don't really think, I'm sorry. I just don't think that most guys are going to be that committed to lasering their balls. It's so easy. They could just do it while they're watching Moblands. That's like the best show ever, by the way. They could just do it when they're watching TV.

What's the big fucking deal? Have their girlfriend do it. I would laser my guys balls. No, no, no, no. You don't even feel it. you're right but you don't feel it really do you remember I mean have you ever has there ever been a boyfriend in your life that was like oh yeah you could you could wax some of my hair like just even getting close to their groin or their balls with the with the hot wax I mean they go they're their babies

like they can't handle it I'm I don't know I don't know maybe if it's gentle I guess yeah no no it has a cooling effect it's actually really good but anyway you could go on next question yeah yeah All right. So do women really enjoy tit fucking a guy? No, I don't, but I know that guys love it. Do you like it? You have big tits. I like it. You do. Okay, you talk on this. Don't you have big tits? Yeah, but I'm not into it. Oh, you're not into it. No, what do you do? What's the, what's the, like, what about it? You like them to come on there? Yeah. So, okay, so I, here's what I, here's how I like that. I like that to go down.

I like to, because I do have big tits. And I like when a guy, when they get really close, I love when they're tip fucking me. But then the, so if you have a big dick, I can, I put my mouth down if I'm laying on my back by my, you know, we're pushing my tits together. Or I have a really super tight sports bra on. And you can, I oil it up in there. And you can just get right in that, in that cleavage and just. Fuck my cleavage, but also if the head of your cock is going into my mouth and then you can come in my mouth that way. It's actually really hot.

I've done it with some partners. Interesting. It's, oh yeah, I've got some great video. It's amazing. Oh, fuck, yeah. It's so hot. Honestly, some of the hottest video I have is of being tip-fucked and just like, yes. And the guy just sort of like pushing.

your head back and then opening your mouth and then like you stick your tongue out and he sort of comes in it. So I have I've had a partner that can kind of release. He doesn't come all the way. He actually just releases part of his ejaculate. I don't know how else to call it. And a little bit comes in your mouth. It's like a teaser. And then he keeps going and going. And then he'll do that. He'll tease you. And then a little bit comes out. And then he finally comes in your mouth. Oh my God. It's so hot. I love it. Yeah. I'm a huge tits. fucking fan. If you can do it that way, it's hot. Yeah, I'm always jealous of people who love things that I don't that guys love because it just makes you like hotter in bed than me. Because I know

guys love it, right? But I could care less. Yeah, no, I mean, to me, it's like super sexy. And then you get to kind of look up and you're watching him. And you can see how like, that's another thing. I'm jealous about you. You love eye contact. Let me tell you, that's probably hot as shit for guys. And I'm not interested in looking you in the face. Hey, are you listening to my show to learn a new thing or two about sex? Well, then you need to try Beducated. Begated is like the Netflix of sex education. They have so many different courses to choose from for men and women all in one place. They have courses on everything from squirting to female orgasms and oral sex courses and more. Want some new tricks to use when you go down on your girl? Well,

their cuttolingus course features 10 different new moves that you could try that are going to blow your girl's mind. And the best thing about Beducated is you're going to learn those moves by seeing them. That's right. Most courses include video tutorials featuring real super hot humans guiding you, showing you everything you need to do. So what are you waiting for? Go get Beducated. Beducated is so sure you're going to love their courses that they offer a four. day money back guarantee so you have nothing to lose. And for listeners of my show,

Bedricated is offering 50% off plus the 14 day money back guarantee. All you got to do is go to the description, click on the link and use my code anonymous to get 50% off your yearly pass. Like I said, just go to the description, click on the link and use my code anonymous for 50% off your yearly pass. You're watching him. Oh, yeah. That's another thing I'm jealous. about you. You love eye contact. Let me tell you that's probably hot as shit for guys and I'm not interested in looking you in the face. Guys do. They love that. Of course. Yes. And if you can stare them down, you will win. Wait, I got to tell you, there was a guy on my show recently and he had, like, I have this like secret trick that I don't want to give out to your listeners, but I'll tell you

off air and, you know, they could email me and I'll give it. And his little trick was like when you're down there blowing a guy, wink at him. I was like, I was like, okay, I'll tell all my girls who like to Oh my God, I love that. Try the wink. Yeah, you're the type of girl. Try the wink. I'm going to, thank you.

I love that. I love a good tip. I'm going to use it. And I'm going to tell you about it. That will create a great episode right there, the wink. Yeah, yeah, the wink. See if it works. He was like it works every time, do the wink.

Okay. So that's the tip for the girls. Next time you're blowing your guy. If you're like, you know, a normal girl and you like to like stare at a guy's wink at him. Yeah. Okay. This is a weird one.

Our public bathroom is so gross that you have to hover to do your business. Oh my God. I love talking about this. I could talk about this for a fucking hour because let me just tell you something. It is so annoying. I don't think men understand what women go through. There was one woman at some point on some day that decided not to sit on a toilet bowl because she thought like the back of her legs would get infected with something.

I don't know. Do guys hover when they poop in a bathroom and a public bathroom? Probably not. don't. Okay. But one girl decided that she's going to get chlamydia on the back of her leg so she doesn't, she stopped sitting on a toilet bowl and then every girl followed. And now when you go into a girl's bathroom, every single toilet bowl is filled with piss all over it,

all fucking over it. So you got to hover and then you got to piss and it's shooting all over the place and then there's all over there. Is that what the piss is coming from? The hovering? Yeah, the hovering. I clean my toilets for so long before and then I fucking sit down. Okay.

and I've never gotten any kind of infections on my legs. I want to sit down on a toilet. If every woman sat down on a toilet, it wouldn't be a piss room like it is. It is the most disgusting things, girls' bathroom. Guys don't understand because they don't know. They don't have poop all over their toilet bowls because guys are hovering.

But every girl hovers, nobody's going to sit on, and there's piss all over the toilet. And imagine where else it's going and what you're putting your hands on. You think where you're putting your hands to hover. there's no piss because it's shooting all over the place because no one's sitting on the fucking toilet just sit on the toilet maybe that makes me dirty i don't know but i you know if the all sit on the toilet if every girl sat on the toilet there wouldn't be piss on the toilet yeah

i mean if they have those you know little uh paper guards like just put i don't yeah i'm with you like stop covering i take a long time i clean it with big wads and then i if they don't have the plastic, I put down things, and I fucking sit down like every person should. And if every woman sat down, our bathrooms will be a lot cleaner. I mean, it's disgusting, actually. Yeah. You can pull the toilet paper long strips off and cover off. Yeah. Yeah, I do that. I know. It's, thank you. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, really bothers me, actually, and I think it's not talked about enough. And I don't know who that first woman was that was so petrified to sit on a public toilet, but it really, it really ruined everything. And it's just women's bathrooms are disgusting. I can't even good. I know.

in there without like wanting to gag. They are. They are kind of disgusting. Okay. Is it awkward when someone's looking at your business in a non-sexual setting like when you're at the gynecologist, waxing, laser? No, not at all. But I did have, okay, I do have like, I mean, and I think every girl has like 18 doctor,

like creepy doctor stories. And I have. I have one. Yeah. I have one with the guy staring at my tits and like a regular doctor. And it was like really uncomfortable. but I won with my gynecologist, but he wasn't my gynecologist. And I'll tell you this story really fast.

I went to, like, I like my doctor's old and ugly male, female, just someone that, like, you know, is just, I don't know, to me, someone that wouldn't even look at me sexually. I wouldn't look at them. But of course, they always get like the hot doctors. But my gynaecologist I pick was everything that I wanted. Old, you know, over the hill, could barely give me a second look. But there was a guy in the office that I'd always pass by. And he was such a fucking creepy.

Even had like a handlebar mustache in New York City. Like who sports that? Who sports that in New York City? Okay, nobody. But this guy did, and I would like walk past him and he'd always like check me out.

And it was always, he always gave me the creeps. But, you know, he wasn't my doctor. But one day my doctor was available. I just need my yearly. I'm like, okay, I'll just go to the other guy.

He's in the practice. I know they take my insurance. I'm going to go. This guy, okay. Oh my God. He was so fucking inappropriate. And I really, and the girl, you know, they always have a girl in the room.

She was giving me looks like, oh, I'm sorry. You know what I mean? Like she sits in with this guy because I'm not the only person. He said inappropriate things. First of all, he did a sonogram and he told me that my uterus was really good looking, which is the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life. He told me it was great that I got a surrogate so that my pussy would stay tight.

I mean, who says that? But before we even went into the sonogram room, he shoved his finger. So he's doing my exam. And sometimes they'll put a finger up your ass, right? To do like a culture or whatever. But typically they'll say something, you know? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've never.

Yeah. Can I just tell you? I've never had anybody put a finger up their ass. Yeah. So I have only had it once in a blue moon, but let me just tell you this guy looking at me, he does this thing in my vagina. And then he shoves as he's, talk about eye contact. He looks straight in my eyes and then shoves his finger right up in there as he's looking

at me right in the face on purpose to be like, I'm fingering your asshole right now. And then he takes it out and he looks at it. and then looks at me. And then he does his swab because they'll swab it sometimes for you and that's what they do. But rarely do gynecologists do that. This guy made eye contact.

He did the whole thing on purpose to like fucking cross my boundary. And I was like, oh my God, I just got raped. Oh, that is creepy. That's creepy. Yeah, my vibes were right about him. He was a creep. He looked like a creep.

He was a creep. He was a fucking creep. Okay. So I don't have, my story is not even, close to that, but I was visiting or somehow I got a different doctor. You know, you go in, you want to get your animal and you just want to get it done. And I got this woman. And for the very first time, you know, so she's, you know, they put the lube on the glove, right? And because she's

going to insert her fingers. Yeah. And, right? And push and then push on your stomach to, you know, feel for lumps. Feel for lumps. Feel for lumps. So feel like her lungs. Feel for stuff, right, filter stuff inside your uterus and all that. Anyway, or not uterus, but I guess in your vaginal walls. I'm not sure exactly. Okay. But she puts the, she puts, so she puts the lube on there. She, instead of just going straight into, into my vagina, which most doctors do, she starts with the top, from the top of my clitoris, and she strokes it down. And she's staring at me in the eyes. And then she turns and twists and inserts her fingers. So I, like, a man and I was like this is weird I mean it was and she's looking at me dead in the eyeballs

how do you know it's in 10 you think it's bad because it's a woman I thought it was worse because it was a woman if it's a man I know how to deal with a man right I'm like listen fucker right I but when it's coming from a woman I was like what I don't know like if I accuse her of you know some sort of impropriety like isn't that weird so anyone way, yeah, that was very, very bizarre for me. Same thing. And she looked you straight in the face. That's the same exact story as mine, but it was with a woman, which makes it naughtier.

It is, it is naughtier. Like, I think she, yeah, and I had nobody else in the room. I'm always thinking about our listeners, you know, and I'm always hoping that, you know, we give them little woodies here or there. And even these horrifying, even these horrifying stories, I think, are giving them slight witties. I think there's a lot of, yeah, there's probably a lot of people right now. I'm just getting turned on by that.

Yeah, this woman, like they visualize the loom hitting her gloves and kind of slowly rolling down. And then she just takes those fingers, two fingers, you know, is her index finger in the middle one? And then like slowly swipes over my clit and goes down. And then you get corny. And then she goes down on you. Yeah, she just, she got me good. I was not expecting that. And I was so caught off guard.

I just didn't say anything. What do you say to that? Anyway. Nothing. Yeah. Okay. So here's a different, completely, we're taking a different turn here. Are foot jobs enjoyable for the woman?

What does that mean? A foot job. What is a foot job? Like a guy puts my whole foot in his mouth? No, no, no. A foot job is when you arc the arches of your feet together and you're giving, you're massaging a thighs dick. You're giving a hand.

I mean, if I don't want the dick in between my titsy, think I want it in between my feet? I don't. So stimulating, that's not enjoyable for me but if I have done it watching the guy's reaction totally yes right if they're really excited about it then

that's I like I like knowing I'm doing something that probably most people aren't doing and you know as as unique as it is or whatever so yeah yeah in the moment for sure and let me tell you I don't know about if you know about hosers

you know I call them hosers or there's a lot of guys that have put fetish but a lot of guys have a panty hose fetish. And I've talked to a girl who's like into pantos and she gave a guy while she was wearing panty hose who was a hoser, you know, a guy who like has that fadish and a foot fetish too. And she gave him like a foot job while she was wearing hose now. Like if I was dating a guy that was into that shit, I would totally do it. And like you, I would be turned on because I was turning him on. And I think I would be more into that than the tit fucking. The tit fucking is just like so weird. I don't feel like how do you like move your neck to even see anything that's going on.

whereas I feel like you could relax more with the foot job and sit back and just enjoy the show. So I feel like I'd be better at the foot job. Well, okay, but here's the thing. So I'll just give you the, like, let me give you the breakdown, the real dynamics of it. When you're on your back and you just tip your neck, you're not doing much work. Okay. He has to do all the work to sort of maneuver his dick and get it where he wants it. I know, but the dick is just like so close to your eyeballs that he's like,

is it even a dick anymore? Is it just skin? No, no, no, no, but hold on, hold on. When you're doing a foot job, there's a lot of ab work involved in that. Not that I, I mean, my abs are great. I can do that. But you feel it more, you're more getting a workout. You're more actively involved.

And, you know, to be, if I'm being completely honest, I mean, for the most part, I would enjoy being the pillow princess in most scenarios and not having to be the one that's doing all the heavy lifting. But that's just me. Yeah. No, I like. I was thinking, actually, it would be a very good. calf workout. And I'm always down for a good workout. I'm like a workout queen. So I actually like

any kind of workout. So I would like that. I feel like it would be a good calf exercise. Okay. Here's a good subject. I know I've already talked about this. Here's this question. I've already talked about this. I have lots of creepy stories about this. But here it is. If a woman is super horny and doesn't have a toy, would she find an ordinary object to get off with? Of course. I mean, come on. Just like guys. I mean, I have guys that have been on my show that should have GI Joe's up their ass to play.

Oh, shit. Have they really? Those are always my favorite questions. Like, what kinds of things would you put up your ass? Like, what do you put? I know. Yes. I mean, I've humped the corner of a bed.

I have a baby aspirin bottle. You know, whatever I can find, literally. I know you have your cucumber story. Oh my God. Oh, yes. This is embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how I did my first D.P. with my boyfriend. And he was like, go get a cucumber from like, I was at my parents' house. I know. I love that. I know. It's easy for girls because you're just looking for something. You know, there's a lot of phallic-shaped things.

Any like, I know. Right. You can zoom your eyes around the room. And when you're in need, you can find something. I'm not sure. that men have as many options if they need to put their dick in something tight and that feels good and it also has some sort of lubrication. Yeah, yeah. I always wonder, well, there was the American pie where he like, fuck the pie or like, you wonder if they put it inside a watermelon.

But I always wonder if like those palms or those fake pussies like, because, you know, I always feel sorry for guys. They don't have so many toys. Like I'm, I like toys, you know, and like to try different contraptions to to use. And I always wonder, do those fake pussies and those things that guys could like shove their cock and do they really work? But I don't think so. I've heard from guys that They don't like that stuff. Hey, want to give yourself like the best orgasm ever? Guests who have called into my show have said prostate orgasms are the best orgasms ever. Okay.

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So order up. Go get yourself the butter starter kit, which includes the perineum massager plus a water-based loo. Buy as much as you can because you're going to get 20% off everything when you use my code strictly at Butter Wellness. wellness.com. That's butterwellness.com. B-U-T-T-E-R-W-E-L-L-N-E-S-S dot com. Use my code strictly for 20% off your entire order. I always feel sorry for guys, they don't have so many toys. Like I like toys, you know, and like to try different contraptions to use. And I always wonder, do those fake pussies and those

things that guys could like shove their cock and do they really work? But I don't think so. I've heard from guys that they don't like that stuff. But guys, who play with their asshole and there's more of them out there than you know, Leila. Like, trust me, a lot of guys have put up the same stuff that you put in your pussy that you just listed. They've put it up their ass, okay? I get those stories on my show. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. No, I know. Guys, yes, I know guys can get very creative. And so can women. So, yes, you know, we will find, we will scan the room. We will find what's available. We will also have our probably go-toes that we've done before, you know, when desperate times call for desperate measures and you just

get off, you're just going to go for it. Okay, so here's the next one. Well, it's more of a, we have to kind of solve this problem here. This person just says, I'm a very horny person, but with someone who isn't, and I haven't had sex with them and over a year, I need help is killing me. Male or female? I don't know because I can't tell by the name.

I mean, listen, this is a common problem. This is like people cheat. I know. Let's just say, I think it's a male. And I mean, typically men, it's usually men that are saying that. But I've heard the stories too, Leila. And I'm always like, what the fuck's going on? What you're a guy that it doesn't want to fuck.

And sometimes it's a testosterone thing. It's the same thing for a woman, you know. What you have to do, I mean, listen, you could talk until the cows come home. But unfortunately, if someone has lost their sex drive, unfortunately, I think sometimes what happens is they've lost it for so long. They don't even have the desire to get it back. Like a year goes by a woman that goes into menopause or doesn't is fucked up by with her hormone.

She doesn't even care. whereas the other partner's like dying. So what has to happen is like the underlying issue needs to be resolved. Like what is it? Lack of hormones. Your girl needs to go on hormones to get it back or she needs to start playing with herself to rewire. And if that desire isn't there,

that's hard, you know, she's got to like force herself and do some work sort of crossing that line. If it's a guy that doesn't want to fuck, he should go get his testosterone looked at because a lot of times that does have a big thing to do with it. And some people have been cured because they like low cell, you know, low sex drive. So, okay, I will give my two cents on this and I'll approach it as if this was

a man and then I'll give my feet, you know, if it's, if it's really good in that version. But yes, I think it's very common for women who get married and you're with a partner or long term and then all of a sudden, you know, sex is kind of off the table. I think it's something that, you know, you should bring, if it's a woman that your partner, you should bring up to them because we're more, we're more into the emotional side of stuff. So if you approach it from an emotional aspect, like, hey, this is something that I really need because it connects us and I love you and I want to feel good. And, you know, I just, this is something I need for our relationship. I think that's one way to approach it. But I do, but women's hormones, you know, change. And so you've got to, you've got to

address it. And also, if she's on birth control, I just did an episode. Oh, you're the worst. Birth control, hormone or both control is just shutting off the sex drive. That's the whole point. That's the whole point. That's why you're not, that's why she's not getting pregnant. She doesn't want to have sex. And so biologically, your body is like, hey, we're good. We're good. And you're not, you're not getting that normal, natural, all the, all the influx of hormones, the rise. fall, all of the, you know, the Luteal phases, everything that goes along with modulation, everything, it's shut down. And so that could be a big part of it if it's a, if it's a female. So, you know, younger, yeah, on the younger side. Yeah, for sure. And younger women

could have PCOS and their hormones could be fucked up too. You know, when I went through infertility, when I was older, like I was, you know, in the waiting room with tons of younger girls who had problems and issues with their period and problems, like infertility problems. are all hormonal based, you know. So, and same with men. Men, you know, really young guys get a very low testosterone and not even know it, but have low sex drive because of it. Yeah.

So that's like always the first place to start. But I think you're right with the conversations. And I do think, this is where I think podcasts are really great for conversation because sometimes, you know, people are sick of listening to their partners. Like, you know what I mean? Like you could say, oh, talk to your partner. But their partner doesn't want to hear it from their partner. But if they hear it from somebody else, sometimes.

for some reason they might listen to it more. So like share a podcast about hormones and, you know, and how it's changed women's lives. Get the information yourself and then, you know, pass it on to your partner to look into it. And so maybe that they could learn that way if you've talked to them blue in the face. Totally great because it's a very non-threatening way to get that information. Yeah. Sometimes they just think you're bringing it up because you're selfish and you just want something out of it. Whereas if you just want to, yeah, right.

Fuck me. He's a pig. This was fuck. Yeah. There's all these other things you're thinking about. Yeah. Totally. No,

I get that. Yeah. So I would, but you got to, but you do have to bring it up. I mean, you do have to bring it out. Let me tell you. I have a couple episodes of women who literally were like sexless women,

went on pellets and we're having, and then like we're having gangbanks. Okay. Go let's go send those, send those episodes to your girl, okay? I ran to get pellets the first time after I heard one of those girls. Yeah, yeah, I guess there we go. There's the best thing.

Like, you know, guys had lots of interviews and lots of guests on that were in the, you know, non-sexless or sexless. Marriages, yeah. They turn it around. So you can listen to how they did that. Okay. Now, this next thing from one listener, a lot of his fear is around fucking women and having them want to have babies and birth control. and he's worried about knocking some girl up, which to me, I have, I know where my mind sets out with this,

but I'm going to let you, I'm going to ask you the questions. What are your thoughts on vasectomy as a foolproof method for men who don't want kids, but still want to have sex? Does a vasectomy affect sexual performance or equipment working properly after? Now, he's obviously, you know, wanting to get out there and fuck freely, but he's, his big concern was, what if, you know, he's, he's, he's honestly worried that women are just going to want to fuck this random guy. They're just going to want to fuck him to have a baby. Does he have a lot of money? Huh? Maybe he has a lot of money.

Guys with a lot of cash. You know, that does kind of happen to them and they're very on guard. Like, I know Dr. Guy who's been on my show, he was like a real catch. I mean, when I was dating him like women from like across the room would just like walk over and start hitting on him in front of me. Because he was like a cardiologist, really good looking older guy like fresh meat. You know, every woman wanted him because he made a lot of money. He had a lot of cash, right? And he was hot. And so he, you know, and he was very, you know, every girl wanted to have his fucking baby.

And the funniest thing happened, he got a vasectomy, but he never told any of his girls. And one of them. And I have the pictures because he came on my show and we did a whole episode about. how one of them came back to him and said she was pregnant. She had the fake pregnancy test. I mean, and the whole thing we all knew, it was a fucking lie because he had a vasectomy. There's no way. And if you saw the pregnancy, the fake pregnancy test, she said it was like the worst Canva job you've ever seen in your life.

It was so funny, but just to know for a fact that he couldn't get anyone pregnant. And this bitch was trying to trap him like every girl did before he got the vasectomy. He was like, oh my God, this is so funny, you know, it was like really, but let me just tell you what's great about the vasectomy for the guy, because that same guy, Dr. Guy recently met a girl of his dreams. She's younger. She wants to have babies one day with him and he's ready to do that with her. And even though he had a vasectomy, he was able to go and get sperm out and do like embryos and stuff. So it is like it's, I think it's a really, you know, and I do sexual health Saturdays now. And I'm going to do it. I'm so glad this person brought up this question. I'm going to do a whole episode of. about vasectomies. I think it's so interesting. It's such a great topic to talk about. To me, it seems like a very, like everyday normal procedure. They're just snipping something. They're not chopping a guy's balls off. I picked up Dr. Guy from his appointment, you know, because I was the one that picked him up from his vasectomy appointment. And he was fine. You know, it's like, it's like, oh, in and out kind of a thing. It can be reversed. It does stop you from, you know,

getting a woman pregnant. I think it's a great solution. Why not? Right. I know. So, So let me kind of go down a little further because there's kind of some backup questions behind that. He's saying, like, as a man, how can I enjoy sex without the constant fear of getting someone pregnant? What are your views on men's lack of control compared to women when it comes to contraception and unwanted pregnancy? And how do you mentally reconcile casual sex with the risk of life-changing consequences like unwanted fatherhood or motherhood? and legal financial responsibility. So this guy's, maybe he does have some money. My first thought to him is, look, if you are, if this is a genuine concern for you,

it obviously is. Exactly. It's a perfect solution for this guy. This guy obviously overthinks things. He's psychotically overly cautious. His biggest fear is having me for some reason. And there's nothing wrong with that, actually. I, you know, he's actually very responsible, but to an extreme.

But like exactly what you're going to say is the. solution, then you need to do that for you. That should be on you because it's your, it's really weighing heavily on you. Yeah. Yes. And so my, my thought on this, like, this is not the first time I've had obviously questions around this genre and things like that. And, you know, my, my thought to men is there's so many, I've heard so many guys who, and I've actually interacted with several guys who, who are like, what am I doing for birth control and blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, and I feel like I'm getting the, you know, the, I'm being grilled, like the Spanish Inquisition about that stuff.

And I want to say to them, listen, if you're so fucking worried about this, get snipped. And I have, I have had guy, you know, male partners, obviously, over the long haul, who've had this issue or concern or worry, and I'll say, get your fucking self-snipped. I know what I'm doing to protect myself because I'm the one who's going to take on the worst part of an unwanted pregnancy, not you, right?

And it's easy for men to have it reversed rather than women who get it done, get a tubulation. So I kind of just, I understand guys, yeah, they're worried about it. It's legitimate. But when they don't do anything about it, I say bullshit. I have to call bullshit.

It'd be like, get it done. And by the way, don't come inside a female, wear a condom or whatever. I mean, so it's always like these guys, they bitch about it and they're worried about it. It's like you ultimately can change this and not have it be even a concern for you, but a lot of them won't go and do it. And so that's where my kind of pushback lies on this subject. It's like, stop fucking whining about it. Get your balls on the table.

But I don't, but look, can I just try them in here? Yeah. Go ahead. Okay. So I personally think like, I love that this guy overthinks this whole scenario because I personally think guys should. I know that you think that women have it worse in the scenario because they have to get pregnant, they have the baby.

But I actually think when it comes to unwanted pregnancies, guys fare a lot worse. Like you have zero fucking say. So you should be a lot more thinking about it beforehand. And I don't think men think about it at all. And I don't think a lot of women think about it at all. But I think at the end of the day, it is the woman's right to choose. She has all of the power. And that's a big choice to make.

And I believe it should be in the woman because it is her body. And like you said, she's got to go through with the pregnancy. But I'm just going to tell you guys, you have zero say in whether you get a baby, a human being that's going to be bound to you for the rest of your fucking life or not. I think guys don't take that so seriously because if they don't want a baby, okay, they have no say. If that girl decides have a baby, they have a baby. They have no say.

Zero control over what happens. And if they want that baby and the girl decides I don't want a baby and I'm going to abort it, their baby gets aborted and they have zero say. So I think guys don't take this topic serious enough. they should put a fucking condom on it. Stop coming inside girls and when you're old enough, get a fucking vasectomy. I think most guys do get a vasectomy after they've had a couple of babies because they know how hard it is to have babies and they're living in fucking reality. And most guys that are in film and they get the vasectomy.

And this guy who's single that doesn't want it, go get it. That's what he should do. And I love that he's actually thinking that way. I think most guys don't complain about it. But when they're fucked and the girl is pregnant and they might feel differently than the girl does either way, they have zero. say. So I think I should really actually think about that because I think that they don't have any power in that. And so it's a real predicament if something happens and it happens all the time. Well, right. And so that's a, that's a, that's, I think we're kind of saying the same, same things,

but in different ways. It's just like, guys, if this is legitimately a concern for you, you can absolutely make this a moot point. Yeah, but you think your guy that's right. leading in is the comment, I think it's like bizarre. Like I've never heard of a guy complain that much and be so paranoid. But I don't think it's a bad thing. Oh, no, no, no, no. I've heard it. No, no, no. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, then listen to Layla and just get it snipped, you know, I'm going to do a whole episode. It gives me a great idea. I'm going to do it because I don't even know that much about it, like, what it is. And, like, you know, I did a whole penis pump episode and I thought it was like super interesting because so many guys are afraid to do it. And it is such a simple procedure and having a lot of guys call in and talk about it and how it's done a lot and how it completely can change your life. I thought it was super interesting. So I'm going to do the vasectomy too. Yeah. You should because I don't think guys are informed enough about it. It's an outpatient procedure. Exactly. And you go on with your life. But let's move on. So this is kind of the same genre. We'll move on to this. So again, so this guy then now he moves from the same guy. Yes. Oh no. He's going to talk about STIs now. Yes. I know. I know. I know. I know.

guy. This guy is like, I know this guy. He's an overthinker. He's probably, maybe one of your listeners. No, no, no, I just, I'm an overthinker. I was always paranoid by getting pregnant. I was always paranoid about STDs and getting fucking AIDS. Like seriously, I know this person's brain, okay? Okay. So here's here. Let me just give you. Yes. I'm going to let you launch. Like I said, he says, he says, how do you protect yourself from STDs while staying actively active and open? And how do you spot and avoid unstable? or crazy partners who would be problematic. Well, you know how you spot someone that probably might have something?

Like, pretend you don't want to use. Say you're like about to bang someone you never banged before, right? And you're like, okay, let's and then go for it without a condom. And if that person's like, sure, and goes for it, most likely that's what they do with everybody. And unfortunately, the truth is most people don't use condoms. because condoms blow. And I always say, like, you want to be real, like, really have safe sex? Like, that guy, listen to me, go find a hypochondriac.

Okay, I was always, I'm a hypochondriac. I don't care about having colds or anything that I could live with. But anything that I could die for or is permanent, like I'm petrified, okay? Herpes, AIDS, like I, so I wouldn't let my booty calls dick touch my outside of my vagina without a condom on, okay? That's how petrified I was. So you knew I was always clean. So you have to get someone who's like as much of an overthinker than you because the majority of people out there fuck like crazy

Especially when they're drunk the condoms go out the window I have a girlfriend that had herpes and I can't tell you how many guys she fucked While she had herpes I never told them without condoms and you know what she told me once and I'll never forget the story And I've probably said it before but she was just like oh this one guy She was fucking him she without a condom and then eventually she told him You know when they got closer that she had herpes and she's like oh and he's such a nice guy like he didn't even get mad at me that I didn't tell him.

I'm like, to me, that doesn't make him a nice guy. To me, that just says he probably has herpes too, okay? And he lied to you because if somebody fucked me without a condom for months and then told me, oh, by the way, I had herpes and they never shared that with me and fuck me. I would be so mad. So I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't see that guy as a nice guy. I see him as unclean. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? But people don't tell you shit, okay? That's the way it goes. this guy, you know how you spot a red flag like you talk to people, have conversations with them. Test them. Do you know, try to fuck it without a condiment? And if they're, if they're ready and willing and their legs are spread and they're wet and they're ready to go, they probably fuck a lot of people without a condom and get tested. And nowadays there's something called doxyPap. I just did a whole STI thing with Robert from China. I do. I use it. I use it. I use it.

I use it. I use it. I don't even, I, and I'm not doing risky sex. I use it after every time I have sex with a partner that even regular it doesn't matter, they don't know this. Even oral. I pop a doxy pep because it helps reduce the your, you know, and we could be using condoms.

What, it doesn't matter. I pop one of those because it's one more layer of protection that I get in case somebody's not being honest with me. I don't mind. mind absolutely I will go and get tested with a partner I I don't mind it at all I love doing it and and it's good because you know it also helps you know what's if there's anything that you are

unaware of getting and you know getting go going and getting a STD test it's not a big deal before you have sex with somebody so you need to you just kind of need to raise your requirements but also guys can use the doxypep women can use the doxypep I use it after every single sexual encounter with every partner no matter how long I've been with them, no matter how well I think I know them, I just do it.

It's an extra safeguard and it hedges against getting anything funky. Yeah, what it is is a low dose. It's like a shot of a low dose antibiotic so you get something before it turns big. And I mean, I hate to say this to this poor guy because he overthinks things, but

he needs to know this and he probably does because he sounds like me and he knows everything. You know, with stuff like this, you know, you could actually have an STI in your throat and have zero symptoms and be a carrier and be passing it around. So it's really to be tested and have your partner tested. You need throat swabs. You need everything. Like, you know.

Yeah, there's ways to go about it. But this guy sounds like the type of guy that like if you're like this paranoid and you have all these kinds of things and there's nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I personally like the fact that he's concerned with things that the majority of people aren't. I don't think it's a bad sort of neuroses to have. right because he's probably super clean and he takes care of himself and you know he doesn't have a he's not a baby daddy to someone that he's not paying for right like he's a good guy yeah he should actually he should

actually probably like find a girlfriend and you know be like a relationship type of person not a player you know he's gonna have not so much fun or find a booty call and be like with that one person and you know it's just set up something that's like more of a committed relationship so you don't have to worry because I think eventually if you were actually dating someone you don't have to take doxy pep all the time if you trust them and everything, you know. Right. Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

I'm just saying, you know, if you're out there casually, you know, as a guy, I guess if I was a guy, I would consider possibly getting a vasectomy. I would always use a condom. And then I would ask for like, let's get tested before we have sex. And then use a doxypep after you get, because, you know, someone can have their test results and then fuck somebody and expose you before you have sex. I mean, like, there. Okay.

And then, so, okay, this is actually a good question. As someone who's had wild sex experiences, do you ever worry about the long-term effects on your self-esteem or emotional health? Do you have me to answer that? Yeah. I mean, listen, I was a drinker for a long time, right? A party girl. And I was like a blackout drinker. And I fucked a lot of people that I would have never fucked.

And I think a lot of people fuck people that would never fuck because of alcohol, you know. But my numbers were off the charts because I was like an alcoholic, right? Like I was like living in New York City. You party every single night of the week. You know, I would go to work drunk. And it got to a point. I mean, one of the reasons why I decided to quit and I hit my bottom is like, you know, there was a time during that period where I didn't fuck for a whole year because I'm like,

you know, I don't, I was like sex was becoming meaningless to me. It was like fucking up my sex life by being like promiscuous. wasn't in a negative way. Once I quit drinking and I got clean and I started to have sex again. I have like the best sex ever since then. That was like 20 years ago and I could have the wildest sex and it has nothing. It doesn't affect my self-esteem at all. It makes my fucking endorphins go high. It makes me feel great. I think the only time it affects your self-esteem or your morale or anything is when you're acting out in a negative way, which I did for a time. But I always felt like I never wanted to feel like sex was bad. It was just like where I was at and what I was using it for. But sex for in itself, in wild sex, and good sex is great. And even

promiscuous sex could be wonderful and light and great. You know, the only time it becomes dark is, is when you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And that's what I was doing it when I was drinking and acting out and stuff. But, you know, I have plenty of women who call into my show that are completely sober. They're having gangbings. They're doing all kinds of sex, having great things. And it doesn't do one fucking thing to their self-esteem. It doesn't ruin it. It doesn't damage it. But if it's is with somebody and that happened to me well then you need to like work on that damage part of yourself so because the sex is the acting out right it's not the problem the problem isn't sex the problem is something else and you got to work on yourself fix that and then you could go back to

fucking and having fun but you're not doing it in a negative way yes okay so I agree with you on that and my you know my experiences so I haven't had I haven't had sex because of an addictive state or anything like that. But I have, I can say there's been, you know, they're asking about long-term effects and, you know, self-esteem and things like that, emotional health. There's, there's times where I've gotten out there just so, you know, so many different partners or new partners, you know, you're on these apps and everybody's interested in you. It can be kind of an ego stroke. And you, you, there was a time and I did this episode, it was called Ugly Fucking. It was in the very, very beginning when I realized, you know, I sort of put myself in a situation

that wasn't the best for me, wasn't necessarily safe, and I had to catch myself and go, whoa, like, you do not want to repeat this. So do I think women can get going down that road and be using sex and unhealthy weight? Of course. Men can't too. Russell Blen talks about it all the time. He was a fucking horror and it was all for the wrong reasons, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So people can, yes, people can use this in a very negative, unhealthy way. Yeah. And, but I would say that I think you and I are both probably pretty self-aware. And so we will catch that shit faster than others.

And what, and so what I would say is from my experience just with other people is I can I consider myself a very self-aware person. I also kind of can get a good read on people pretty quickly. If they're using this as a crutch or an unhealthy way that's affecting them, I will see that pretty quickly. And it's it, I'll say it's a turnoff or, you know, it's something where I'm like, oh, no, you know, like I will probably not be with that person repetitively because I can sniff. that out pretty quickly. Yeah, but we're old. You know, like, I, it was long-term effects for me because when I say I acted out sexually, it was like for probably 15 years of my life for the time I lost my virginia. No. The time I got drinking when I was 34, you know, a lot of the sexual things that I did was

acting out because that was like the most comfortable way for me to be close with anybody. I didn't know how to be close in any other way. It was like there's a lot of, there was a lot of issues there. But of course, I'm more self-aware now because I'm old as fuck. And that's what happens when you get older. And that's the beautiful thing about being older, right? But you can, you can, like you say, smell somebody. Like, I could spot someone from a mile away that's sort of acting out sexually in a way that's not right and is negative and isn't, is dark for the wrong reasons compared to somebody that isn't.

And like I said, I have women on my show do the craziest things. And I could tell you, like sometimes I can tell someone's maybe doing it a little bit for the same reasons I was doing it for. A lot of them aren't. They're just having fucking fun. So just because somebody had a gang bang or is fucking a million people, it doesn't mean they have low self-esteem. And I hate that like people sort of sometimes put that together. Yes.

And because I really, and honestly, after me coming full circle and I've been sober for 20-something years now and I have a clear head. And like I said, I'm much more evolved, right? Because I'm old. And I am very self-aware. And I probably have to bang two guys. one night for fun and it would not affect me in the slightest and that would be my choice and I don't and I feel because I'm more solid of a person I could do that and there would be no shame so I don't think

it's like the actual sex act that affects you. It's like who you are to begin with and that's what needs to be checked and that comes with age and time you're right. I will say though that when I was acting out like that like it was much easier for me to just like get turned on by like anyone. sometimes I'm like, I wish I was wired like that because when you're sort of wired like that and it's sort of addictive and it's negative, it's like you're horny all the time. I can't explain it, you know, but it's so much more intense than when it's like kind of real. And not to say that I don't have the best orgasms and everything, but I don't, it's much more balance and it's much more even and calm and like my feet are on the ground about it. And that to me is the difference between

when you're not acting out in a bad way than when you are. But there was something. about those times. Yes. I know. I know. Right? No, I know. We've all had those moments

who were like, damn, that was pretty reckless and, you know, it was hot. But I'm glad I made it through it and I won't do it again. Right?

You're just like, I know. I know. Okay. So here's our last question. It's more about kind of escapism through fantasy and things like that.

And this is, it says, what advice would you give to someone stuck in a sex? sexless marriage, but fantasizing about sexual freedom, people do write into me about this sexless marriage scenario quite a bit. And it isn't, whether it's a, it's the man writing or the woman writing. And I, what I don't, I guess what I don't understand it may because I've never

been married. And Kathy, I don't think you've ever been married, right? No. Okay. So you can, so, so we, I, I think maybe we both scratch our heads or I scratch my head about Why the fuck people don't go to their partner and say, what the fuck is going on? We're not having so. No, that they do, Leila. I, listen, on my show, I do something different than you. Like, I'm never really talking about myself. I'm really just literally interviewing other people.

And I hear, I've heard every story in the book. I have like over a thousand episodes at this point. And I have heard this. And I promise you, Leila, these people have went to their partners a million times. You have to understand when people have like invested so much. much of their life with someone else and they bought houses together and they have kids with each other. There's a sense of security and comfort there where the people don't feel bad about not fucking their husband and they don't care because where is he going to go?

You know what I mean? And probably he's not going to leave. And that's just the way that it goes. And it happens all the time and it's very common. But most likely in these scenarios, by the time I'm talking to them, they're blue in their face through talking. But I have had the wonderful conversations of people that have either A, gotten to the point where they change things up and sometimes it's hormones or it's a couple therapies that they did or they went

on a vacation decided to have like sex dates, you know, whatever that is. Or sometimes I've heard wonderful stories where the person actually got divorced and then met the person of their dream and their second or third time around is like the best thing ever and they're living their best life. And sometimes that's a great thing to do. Like who knows? But, you know, I think as long as you're alive, there are, you know, there's room for change. And no matter how stale a marriage is or if you got to this place where it's like Groundhog Day in a bad way, you know, you got to do something about it.

And that's hard and it's work. But isn't it worth it? Because I have to tell you the stories where people have changed it around, it's like they're wonderful to hear. And I feel like that gives people hope. And wouldn't you rather be there than stuck in your sexless marriage? But I don't think the problem is they haven't talked about it. I think the problem is the other person hasn't listened. Okay, so I'm going to push back a little bit on that because I do feel, I agree with what you said as all those scenarios and outcomes.

Except what I have when I, from talking to men who have emailed me and voicemail me, they are afraid to actually express to their wives that they don't. don't that, you know, that this is a problem for them. And so my, my advice to them has always been, well, wait a minute, it's not a problem for your wife to just deny you sex. And she knows this. Like, she knows you're not having sex. And you have to go to her. And they're afraid. So my experience has been a lot of these guys when they reach out to me. They're in that just, I'm afraid mode to reach out to my partner and say, you know, this is what I need because it's slowly over time changed or whatever changed it. Maybe it came into a crashing hall. Maybe it was kids. Whatever the scenario, they get to that point. And they're not reaching out. And they're not. So that's the

difference is, yeah, I think you're right. I think what I'm thinking of is like, oh, you know, probably a lot of times what's happened with the guy is the way he's had the quote unquote conversation that I'm talking about. Like he's talked about blue and if I is it. There's no conversation. It's like he leans over and tries to shove it in her pussy and she's like, no, right? So he's tried that a million times. And I think maybe you're right. You're reminding me like it's maybe that guy hasn't really had the actual conversation with the woman and talk to her in terms of that you need to talk to a woman with.

I feel like if you really present something to your partner in a way that really makes them understand where you're coming from, like why would any partner that loves you be like, fuck off? But I think what happens a lot of the time is. that people aren't communicating in a way that the other person hears it the way that they should. You know, a woman, there is a menopause group on Facebook that is so fucking toxic. It's actually like laugh out of funny when you hear these women how they talk about their guys wanting to fuck them and they could care less and they don't want it. And it's like really crazy what's going down over there, you know. And what's unfortunate that is that these women don't understand that sex isn't just like a physical thing for a guy.

You know, to make sex for a man is equivalent to what a conversation like, how was your day and what did you do for a woman? You know what I mean? It means so much more to them. It's very different. So it's not just men being pigs. And I think women see it that way. And I think if men really came from and explain like the emotions behind it, men need to feel wanted to.

And a lot of men will cop to the fact that they're cheating and they just want variety and they're fracking. But let me tell you, when I talk to those men cheaters and I get down to it, really what winds up happening and what I find out in their relationship. It's the same with the women that are cheating. Their wife doesn't, you know, not having sex with them, doesn't pay attention. And he feels unwanted, okay? You don't ever want to fuck him. He feels just as wanted as you feel what, because he doesn't want to talk to you. And both of those things are most likely always happening in the relationship. Anyway, over time, you know, the man's not talking to the woman and giving her what she wants and then

she's not giving him sex. But someone needs to explain how important those things are to the other person. And you know what? I'm going to give you the best advice that I heard from a therapist. And he gave it to someone that I know's partner. And this person told me that their partner came to them and said this. And their partner is a partner that would never cheat. This woman figured, you know, I'm with a guy that'll never fucking cheat on me. So who cares?

Doesn't matter that he wants to cuddle. Doesn't matter the needs that he's asking for. I'm not going to give him because I have him in the bag, right? Like that's what was happening. She was just putting it off on the back burner. But you know what his therapist said to do and he did it? he went to this person and he said, you know what, listen, I'm just going to tell you that I'm not a cheating type person and I don't want to cheat on you, but I have to let you know that if the

opportunity presented itself to me at this point in my life, I'm really afraid that I would take it because of the problems that we're having. And let me tell you, that lit a fire under her fucking ass. And I was like, what a great thing to do is like before you cheat, before you cross-line, go and tell your partner like, you don't want to cheat, but you're afraid that you will because this is what's happening and this is how you feel. And I thought like, oh, that's a great sort of thing to throw out there because it's the truth. You haven't cheated and it could stop something in its tracks.

And let me tell you that person that I know, that was the thing that made her listen to his needs and wants and start giving them to him. I took that there we go. Boom, mic drop. We're going to end it. That's, I agree, a thousand percent. Yes. That's my whole point.

That's always been the thing I've said to people. who, you know, guys actually in general who asked me about this. I'm like, you have to really go to her and explain to her the emotional side of what this is doing to you. Because women will respond to that. Because, you know, if you know that you're hurting him in this way or making him feel isolated or unloved or unwanted, like that is what resonates with us. We're not just going, oh, he's just, he just wants sex like you know like you said oh what a pig he just wants to stick in him exactly yeah you have to reach her on that emotional level so but also that i just have to really say real quick a lot of times what comes first chicken or the egg like has that guy stopped asking her

about what's going on in her day has he stopped complimenting her and maybe that's why she doesn't want to bang him anymore so at the same time that man has to start giving the woman as well what she wants what's equivalent to a blow job for her start telling her how fucking hot she looks. Start talking to her. Start taking an interest and that's going to make her horny for you because like I said, which came first? Did she lose your sex drive? Because you stopped making her feel attractive the way, you know, sex for her makes you feel attractive. So it goes both ways. Yes. No, agreed. Agreed. A thousand percent. That's perfect. As like I said, we're going to stop in there. Yeah. My job. That was great. This is fun conversation. We had a little bit of everything.

Do you mind if I air this on this Saturday too? Mine. I'm going to do it sexual health Saturday. Okay, good. Yeah, I'm going to air this on my thing too. This was fun. I like the question. I know. It was good stuff. Good stuff.

All right. Well, thank you, Kathy, so much for coming on. Thanks. It was fun. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in

paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out to. August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like

that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is. available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos.

there's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail. and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strickley Anonymous Podcast.

Okay, good news. I do have a book out. I wrote a book and it's coming out. The book is called Stricklandonymous Confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. What I did was I picked out the 17 best episodes. That was very hard to do. Okay, I picked like one from each category.

and I retold a story from the third person. So it's not interview style. It's a little bit more erotica. The only place where I took creative liberty was in the sex scene. So it's even hotter than my episodes. Like I said, it's told in the third person. And they're all true, just like my show. I mean, these are real stories from my show, just written out. Like I said, in the third person, not an interview style, more like a story, but a true story, a true super hot story. Now listen, it is available for pre-order now, and it's not coming out until October 14th, and I was like, oh, my God, that's a long time away. So I figured I'd incentivize people. If you want to pre-order it now, I will give you free access to my Discord if you pre-order it now. All you got to do is screenshot,

a pick of the receipt, just screenshot it to me. Send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, and then I will send you the link to my Discord. So that's a little incentive to pick it up now. on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster. The link is in the description, so make sure to click on it. And if you get it, send me the pick of you purchasing and I'll give you free access to my private Discord that is a totally naughty, super hot community with a lot of people over 2500 people over there having fun. Remember email me the pick at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.