Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1138 - Jay is Into Hooking up with Men, Women and Couples and he's Finally Come to Terms with It All

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Jay is into hooking up with men, women and couples and called in to discuss it. Tune in to hear all the details including all the trauma he experienced when he was younger and how it shaped him, the crazy way he lost his virginity, when he realized he was physically attracted to men and when he first started hooking up with them, his first hook up with a guy and exactly what went down, the first swingers club he went to and exactly what down and the people he saw there that he knew, the second time he went to a swingers club as a couple and what went down, the couple he met on Craigslist he hooked up with and exactly what went down with them, how and why his marriage ended so quickly, when he hired a dominatrix and what went down, when and why he started soul searching to come to terms with his interest in guys and the things he did to come to terms with it, what’s he’s looking for now that he has accepted he’s into guys, how he’s approaching dating women now that he’s ready to be out and proud about everything he’s into plus a whole lot more. **To see HOT pics of my female guests  + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.  Sponsors: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order ⁠http://promescent.com/kathy⁠⁠ ⁠To get 15% off your WHOLE order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2512-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code anonymous to get an additional 10% off the campaign’s current discount - that’s 60% off ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get $10 off Shameless Care’s female viagra cream, just click on the link and use code: Strictly   Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everybody's voices and everyone's name. So if you have an interesting, naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, you could be on the show. So me an email, strictly anonymous podcast.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on Beyond the show. If you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my confessions hotline, you could call 247, the number C47, 4203. 579. 347424-2-03579. Call in, leave a message. Make sure the phone is held up to your ear. I get so many messages where it's just such shit background noise. I can't use those confessions. So make sure you're calling from a quiet place, not while you're driving. Hold the phone to your ear. And if you need longer, just hang up and call back again. I will change the voices on the confessions as well.

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I think this is a really great deal. So if you want it, get my book. Send me this screenshot of your purchase to my email Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. So last thing I want to tell you about is if you are into the lifestyle or, you want to learn about the lifestyle or you want to learn about all the, you know, swinger clubs or gangbings or swinger events that are going on in your area or you want to meet other swingers or you want to start having three sons yourself. Well, right now I could give you a free trial to SDC.SDC.SDC.com is like the world's largest adult dating website. Now, what's great about

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It says cc.com. Use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link and you're going to get a free trial to check it out. Okay, today I have on Jay. I love Jay's story. He's a really smart guy who's done a lot of work on himself. He's only like at this point 38, but he's really come to the realization that he's bisexual. He's out and proud about that. And it took him a long time though to get to that point. And he talks about that journey. He was a young kid. He had some stuff happened to him. lot of stuff actually, a lot of inappropriate stuff that happened to him when he was younger. He didn't even put those pieces together until he was way older, but realizing though that kind of trauma later on in life did help him come to terms with what he was into and everything. But besides the bats of that happened to him when he was younger, he does talk about his experiences with men, with women. He started experimenting with guys when he was younger. He was into it. And besides guys, he tried all kinds of things. I mean, this was a curious guy who eventually like wound up at a swingers club once and had sex in front of people and then he fucks some couples he talks about the

couples that he's fucked he's then he had a girl that they had threesome with girls and he does talk about all his first experiences with guys as well and how that was for him and then he speaks a lot towards the end about how and why it took him so long to get to the point where he was comfortable with who he was in his bisexuality he talks about the specific things that he did to get to the point where he is now, like fully accepting of it. And it's, and it's a super interesting story. So I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Jay. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? Hello, Kathy. I'm doing good. How are you? I'm good, Jay. You sound a little young to me. You are a bi-guy, bisexual guy, right? That is correct. And we're going to get your

whole story because you're very out and proud and at peace with it, right? But I'm assuming that wasn't always the case? No, no. In fact, it wasn't until my mid-30s. I am 30. I turned 38 next month, so I'm not too young. People say, I look like I'm 30. Right. Yeah, you sound young. And you sound young. But yeah, all throughout my like 20s and up to my 30s, it was probably until I was like 33, 34, that I really started accepting who I am. And it was a struggle for a long time. Well, I love that. I love to talk to people and get their story, especially people that already have a resolution to the story, right? It's not like we're going to end with you still being confused. We're going to end with you sort of going through it and figuring it out. And I think that those kind of episodes

are always so super helpful to other people because they could learn from your journey, right? You kind of been there, done that. Let me just get a snapshot of where you're at now. Are you married, Jay, or single? Are you in a relationship? So I've been married once, but no, I am single now. Okay. I actively searching for a girlfriend. I do like emotional attachments. But I think with my line of work, I am so busy and on the go and traveling all the time. It's really hard to find something to settle down with. Right. But you were married at one time.

So we'll go. We'll get to that and see what happened there. Okay. So let's go all the way back because I know you had some trauma maybe when you were younger. Yes. So when I was probably in my mid to late teens, early 20s, I started having an attraction towards other men, specifically like Dick that kind of looked like mine, right? because I've been told that on an amazing dick.

But, and I was trying to question myself. Did you just say I've been told I have an amazing dick? By almost everybody that I've been with, both males and females, like, you have a perfect dick. Oh, I think I saw one of those ones. Like, it just looks like it should be like a like a like a like a, like a, like a, like a, a dildo. You know what I mean? Like it's just perfectly symmetrical and all that kind of stuff. Is that what they mean?

Yes, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I've seen one. Yeah, okay, go on. And so yeah, yeah, when I was younger, I had to kind of look back in why I was having these thoughts, right? And where I grew up at, it was very, there's a stigma, right? To be bisexual gay people got made fun of.

It's been really anti in my family, right? So I kind of hit it for such a long time. But I was like, okay, where did this come from? And when I actually sat back and actually did a deep research into my thoughts, I was like, okay, I remember when I was like four years old, my mom. Like my mom and my dad split when I was one. My mom had, like, was dating other guys multiple times all the way until I was like seven or eight. But when I was four, she'd have this drunk alcoholic guy who would want me to like or ask me to hold on to his penis while he was peon. Are you serious?

Yeah. And so, and so I was like, okay, that was a super young experience. And then those other, my mom had friends and their kids, the older than I was. And one of the other, like, young fellows is like, hey, let's see your dicks. It's jack off together. Let's do, you know, the whole kid thing. Let's make streams and cross. paths, right, sword fighting, whatever it is.

And then when I was like 14, now this is kind of like my first experience, I lost my virginity at 14 years old. I moved into another small town, very traditional small town. And, you know, everybody knows everybody. And one guy says, hey, look, you're new here. I don't recognize you. Like, wouldn't you just move here? And I was like about a month ago.

And he's like, oh, hey, if you want to hang out, let's hang out. And I was like, sure, I need new friends. Right. and he would invite me over to his house, would drink. Like, he was like, I think he was like 17 or 18, but he always stole his dad's beers, whatever. And we drank. And then at one point in time, he just said, hey, let's go to this girl's house. So he went to his girl's house.

I had two beers and I was just buzzed right off of two beers. And I sit on the couch. I looked to my left and this girl, she was completely naked. And I'm like, what the hell is going on? I'm only 14 years old. I have no idea what to do here. And so she's like, well, hey, I'm naked. naked and you're not. What's the problem here? And so I end up getting naked as well too, but

come towards the towards later on after about hour of having fun. She was like, I noticed that guy that met, he was in the corner just watching us and jerking off. I'm like, this is kind of weird. I was like, oh, you don't know. He's gay. I'm like, what? He's gay. You should let him suck your dick. And I was like, uh, no, absolutely not, right? You know, but it went so it was kind of weird. And now, like, I was shaving my face by the time I was 13 years old. So I was 14. I looked like I was probably like 17 or 18 years old. And the next morning, that girl's like, I say, hey, you're my first time.

And she was like, I didn't seem like it. How old are you? Like, I'm 14. And she flipped shit. She was like, oh, my goodness. I am so sorry. And then I was kind of traumatic for me. So I didn't really engage in any sexual behavior until I actually graduated high school.

I remember when I was 16, we was at a party or something. like that. I woke up and some guy was jerking me off and I woke up. Oh my God. Are you? How old were you? South 16 at that thing. Oh yeah. And what was this like a like a high school party? Yeah. Well, it wasn't really a high school party as me. I had a sibling of mine and we're hanging out with our friends and we lived way out in the middle of nowhere. So but our friends had her, their uncle who lived like in a town area. And so we decided to go to the uncle's house and so we could fall asleep. And, And I end up falling asleep on the ground. My sister slept still, like she was on the left of me.

And my sister's friend was also a female, was sleeping on the right of me. So I was kind of in the middle. And I fell asleep. And I woke up and my dick was out of my pants. And I was had a raging boner. And I was like, I woke up quick. And I was like, what the hell is going on? Who was touching you?

And so I looked to my right and that my sister's friend, another female, was no longer there. It was actually their cousin, a male cousin. was now sleeping to the right of me. Obviously, I know my sister's not going to do that, right? So I'm like, what the hell? So I kind of was like, I got to experience that growing up as a kid. And so I was 20, I was like, okay, somehow these experiences can, right? And not everybody goes to experiences, but somehow these experiences can shape your behavior as you get older.

Of course. What are you kidding? Can? Most likely they fucking do, okay? Come on. Hey, guys, do you know that you have a G spot? Yep, that's right. guys do have a G-spot and it's located right beneath your taint. And you know what can happen if you massage

your G-spot? You can have what's called a prostate orgasm. Guys who have called into my show have described it as an all-over body experience. And they have said it is like the best orgasm ever. And the good news is I know exactly what you need to start working on having your first prostate orgasm. And that's the butter wellness perineum massager. What I love about the butter massager. It is designed to only be used externally. So you don't have to put anything inside of yourself. And listen, massaging your G-spot is not only going to give you a prostate orgasm. It could also help increase your blood flow, give you stronger erections. And if you have any kind of ED going on, it's going to help with that too. So what are you waiting for?

Go get yourself a butter perineum massager. And right now, butter wellness is offering a starter kit, which includes a perineum massager and a water-based lobe. And for listeners, of my show, you're going to get 20% off your entire order when you use code strictly at butter wellness.com. That's butterwellness.com. B-U-T-T-E-R-W-E-L-L-N-E-S-S dot com. Use my code strictly to get 20% off and experience the best orgasm ever. Somehow these experiences can, right, and not everybody goes to experiences, but somehow these experiences can shape your behavior as you get older. What are you kidding? Ken? Most likely they fucking do. Okay. Come on. Especially when you're really young. You are so impressionable because these are like your first hard-ons, your first woodies. You know what I'm saying? Like whether you want to get hard or not, your dick has a mind of its own, especially when you're younger. So whatever's put on you then could really wire you in fucked up ways. Oh, 100%. There's been times that be like standing in public or in a grocery lines checkout. I'm actually not about a boner. I'm like, what the hell I can't control.

this. Yeah, especially when you're younger, right? In my age, I can control a little bit more. Of course. But when you're young, yeah, so those things really imprint on you. And you had a lot of it. And listen, what I think of when I hear your story is like you're one guy and these are like so many different things that happened to you. And this is why it is kind of a lot more common than people think. You know what I mean? Like all those people that did it to you, like those things happen to people. And most like most of the time people have like one of those things. So you happen to have like five, but like it's not like that uncommon. Unfortunately, they say like one and every four people are molested or whatever. I mean, these were like horrifying things that did happen to you just so you know.

Yeah, it took me a long time to kind of figure out a while I was struggling because it was a lot of times like I did not like the fact that I was attracted to other men. Now, I'm very picky with other men, right? But I was for a long time, I was just trying to fight who I was. And I could tell you right now, like anybody tries to fight. who they are as a person, it's not going to, it's going to be a never-ending battle, right? For me, at least it was. Yeah. And growing up with a family in an area that was so anti-homosexual, anti-gay, very traditional,

a small town, when I actually joined, when I decided to join the military when I was 20, I ended up with station in San Diego, California, which has a completely different atmosphere of people, different culture than what I grew up with where it was more acceptable. And I talked to one of the, a good friend of mine, and he was talking about his story. Like, he was all out. He was gay. He was married to another guy, right?

I loved it. But when he was 16, he noticed he had a trash for another man. And it actually led to him wanting an almost committing suicide. And I was like, at that point, I know, okay, it's not a choice. Yeah. Right. So it was like, so you can't fight who you are. Exactly.

And you can't change it either. No, 100%. And then San Diego, that's what? why that's why I opened up a lot of my kink. Oh, really by the time you got there. So you have all these things happening to you. At that point, are you putting it together that you're into guys yet? Or is it something that you're not really like, because I know that you were like looking

at dicks and stuff. But like, are you putting it together that you have an attraction? Because it doesn't sound like it at this point. There's more like, I were on 18 or 19 years old. I did this thought. I moved off my own, had my own apartment. And the thought of like giving a guy another guy, like giving another guy a head or hooking up with a guy was always something I wanted it to do. Yeah.

But being in a town where it was like very frowned upon, I was kind of nervous to do it. Right. So like that this tension is kind of build up. So around, I'll say about 18, 19 years old that thought really was that I'm starting to get really attracted to other guys. Okay. Right. Now, now the attraction is more of a physical attraction versus a mental attraction, right? For females, I like to have intimacy chemistry and love with females.

For men, it's more the attraction just to have more fun. Okay. And so, but yeah, around 18 or 19 years old, I don't have to answer your question. Yeah, that's when I started finding out that I had this attraction towards men. And how did you feel about it then? I tried fighting it. I mean, I was like, even though, like, it was something that's like, why do I have these feelings? Why is it something that I'm attracted to?

and I tried to find it for almost 12 years, 13 years. But at that point, were you able to remember, like, did those thoughts come up of, like, listen, you just named like five experiences or four experiences that happened where men crossed the boundary and, like, touched you and shit like that? Like, do you have those memories back then? Were you able to put that together or no? No, no. It wasn't until like mid-30s, like 33, 34 when I was able to like really connect all the dots.

Isn't that interesting? Yeah. And that's common. Yeah. I did a psychology class and a different program I went to because I used to have a bad anger issue. I'm like, why do I have an anger issue? And when I went to this course, they made us go all the way back to when we were kids, our first memories, all the way to who we are now to, okay, what shaped your attitude to be an angry person?

And once I was able to understand why I was such an angry person, I was able to actually help myself. So now I'm a more of a calm, collective person. And same kind of thing, same thing with sexuality and being bisexual. I had to go back and, okay, what was my first experience? And a lot of people don't remember things when they're four unless they're actively trying to remember things. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's very common. You know what I'm saying?

And so, like, it could be like a repressed kind of thing until you're really ready to go there. Yeah, 100%. So 18, 19, is that when you start having experiences with guys? I know that's when you're really coming to terms with it. Like do you start to go out and actively seek guys? No, no, it was just more of a thought. And being more in a smaller town at that point, like, where it's very traditional. And it's like, but, you know, I mean, there were.

There's a college like nearby and there's like, there's a gay dude that would party with us. But I guess I just didn't have the courage to go up and be like, hey, you want to do something hooked up or whatever it is. Yeah. Because all my friends that I had, like, I didn't want them to see me differently because they had that anti or like homophobic. big attitudes all the time. Yeah, get it. So I kind of like kept in the closet during that whole entire time and all the way up I said until my 30s. Wow. Oh, really? So wait, even when you went in and moved to San Diego, like you were like even though you were in a more like progressive kind of area, you still didn't do anything? Oh, I did. Yeah. No. Is that when you moved there? Yes. I moved there

when I was 20 years old. Okay. And, and I noticed that the culture out there was completely different and it was more diversity people was more accepting but I didn't come out towards like the women I dated or family friends until I was in my mid 30 so that makes sense but I started experiencing and having activities of men all the starting right on 20 or 21 years old okay so let's go there yeah yeah so you did start hooking up with guys at that time when you were 20 yes yes okay keep going you're doing a good job just telling your story just you just take it from here okay yeah so I said I'll say my first experience was I was like 20 or 21. Yeah, I think I was 20 because I couldn't go out and drink. I remember that. So I was 20 years old and this guy is probably like 28, 29, super hot dude,

perfect dick, all that stuff. And then we saw, I can't remember which website or which date and that we found each other on. But we started talking for about maybe two or three weeks and I was kind of working up the courage to actually meet him and that the anticipation or that wanting it for such a long time or at least trying it out to see if I like it or not. was building up for such a long time since I was like 18, 19 years old. I said, okay, fuck it. Let's go do it. Right.

And we met at a hotel, and it turned out to be a pretty fun night. I ain't a lie. Did you do everything? And what is everything for you? Are you a top? Are you a bottom? Did you go all the way? Did you just do oral?

No, we went all the way, and I'm averse bottom. Oh, okay. Which means you go either way, right? Like you prefer being a bottom, but you'll be, you'll top, right? Is that what that means, correct? Yes. correct okay so that so how did you feel though like post nut clarity like how did you feel post nut like was there any kind of like the minute you came

you were like what the fuck did I just do was there shame about it were you like or were you like wow that was like I finally lived out something that I always wanted to do like how did you feel like the minute you were done afterwards I did feel a little awkward okay right it was kind of like I can't believe that happened I did that I kind of felt bad about myself for doing it yeah And then like a week later, I'm like, okay, I want to do it again. Right. So. That's typical.

Right. So we went all the way. Like you started off like in the shower because I'm a very like I'm strict about hygiene. Like I like I don't I don't expect anybody to go down on me if I have a sweaty smelly day, right? Or whatever it is. Like so. Wait, can I just ask you though? Because I know guys like like say the guy like what's your time frame as like like as for the shower.

Does it have to be at least an hour? Can it be five hours earlier if it's like the morning and you're seeing them at noon? Or do you want to shower right before always? No, no, as long as like I don't smell any bad odor. Like I'm okay with it. Right. So, but if someone's sweaty stink, if I smell like armpit sweat or something like that, I'm like, no. You're like, we need to take a shower.

Okay. Go on. So my hygiene is like super important to me. Plus like it's, I don't know, this is smell. It's unattractive. And it doesn't help set the tone or the relaxation of the night. But yeah, we took a shower together. All right.

And that was the first time that I ever gave. gave head to a guy. And then we were going back and forth. No, so we actually, it was a, you know, I was said back and forth in the shower. And then I was like, okay, I want to try bottoming. Yeah. And it's,

and it kind of be transparent. I've never had any bear back or nothing like that. I've always had condoms with guys. Right. And so like, yeah, he, he knew what he was doing in my first time. And it didn't hurt at all. And I was like, oh, this feels pretty good.

And I, he didn't, I don't, I don't think I swallowed. No, I didn't swallow until I was like my 30s. And, but yeah, he did give me a facial. And, but it was about a good hour and a half, two hour of time together. Right. And you felt a little bit bad and weirded out afterwards. But, you know, a week later, you're like horny for it again. And so then, you know, what goes, where do you start looking for guys after that?

I mean, there was a, I think that I can't remember. I want to say it was Craig's list at the personal's ass. Like, it wasn't no, there wasn't, I don't think there was grinder. I don't think there was like sniffies and stuff like that back. early 20s. So I'll just look on like different ads or something like that on personals on Craigslist and I'd find somebody. Or I remember this guy I met, I came back from my first deployment and we had a party going on like Welcome Home Party and he was like, hey, you want to go out to a club? And I was like, yeah, let's go out to a club. And he

took me to a place in San Diego called Hillcrest. And Hillcrest is a like more of a gay community where there's like a bunch of gay clubs, bars, stuff like that, all entire, a whole entire community is pretty much with the pride and everything. Right. And he took me to this club and I was on one side of the club and I was having drinks. I'm like, you're expensive. Like $12 for a beer. And I walked, I was inside like outdoor area patio where they had a bar and I walked inside

and I saw this girl dancing on lingerie. I'm like, oh, wow, she's hot. And so I started watching her and dance in lingerie on top of the stage. And I noticed that I was like the only dude there. Oh, were you going to gay bar? Yeah. And so then I walk across the other side of the bar and I see like, like, like these dudes dancing in thongs.

I see this guy, Chris, dancing with a big black dude and, like, kiss. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is my first time in a gay club. Yeah. And him and I, Chris, we, uh, we, we, we, we had some fun as well, too, and messed around. But this guy was like eight, eight, half, nine inches big. And I'm like, I'm not going to be able to take that.

There's no way. So we just did like a lot of foreplay, so like that. So he was kind of the guy I'd mess around with it every once in a while on San Diego. If I couldn't find anybody, he was also military. So I knew he was clean. right so and kept himself good hygiene and he was a cool guy to hang out with as well outside of the bedroom right and you hooked up with him that night no no it wasn't that night it was more like it was like a week or two later we're texting

and he was actually working he's working on a nice shift and he's like you should come over and i'm like okay sounds good we actually was in his uh it was the only one working i was like so we had some fun in his office oh wow really in the office yeah yeah it was in office So he was on work. He had to work the night shift. I was like, all right, I'll come over. I'm not doing nothing. Now, during this time, are you still seeing women and are, is there any kind of like confusion?

Like, oh, do I like women still and wondering if you're like totally gay because you're hooking up with guys or do you realize like, or is it clear that you're into both? Oh, it's clear that I'm into both. Like, I just like, I always knew that I had a, what I kind of, I would choose between an attractive woman and attractive male have fun with. I'm always going to choose attractive woman. Right. Some of them I'm attracted to, right? I like to have, I'm more of a top and dawn with women. But I took a personality survey. I'm a 100% switch in the BDSM world.

Right. And, but yeah, no, when it comes down to the attraction, I'm still 100% attracted to women just as much as I might be attracted to men. Right. So there was no confusion for that. Because I think some people might be like, because listen, I think on the spectrum, some people are a little bit more one way or the other, right? So I think some people might be one. It might make them wonder like, oh, do I even like women because they're so into guys all of a sudden. But you were at this point, we're still hooking up with women, too, correct? Yes. Okay, cool. So go on. Okay.

Yeah. And then so there was another, I guess, it's not really a bisexual story, but, you know, San Diego did open up a lot of kink to me, which opened up to a lot more stuff that I did in my late 20s, 30s and things that I still have fantasies of today, right? So there was a swingers club in San Diego. It's called Sats. I don't know if it's still open or not. And one of the females that worked with me or not really worked with me, but she, we knew each other. She's like, hey, I'm going to go to Sads.

You want to come with me? And I'm like, what is that place? It was a Swingers club. I'm like, okay. Oh, yeah. This is where your couples come in maybe. Yeah. Okay.

Go on. Right. And then another fellow coworker of mine, he was like, yeah, I'll go to. And he went as a single. And we walk in there. And we were reading the rules, right? reading all the rules. They obviously no means no consent, so on so forth.

But then again, down to the clothing, right? Men had to be completely nude. Really? What about the women? Women can choose if they want to be fully dressed, if they want to be nude, if they want to labor a launch race, women's suit, they have a choice. Okay.

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But then again, down to the clothing, right? Men had to be completely nude. Really? What about the women? Women can choose if they want to be fully dressed, if they want to be nude, if they want to labor, launch a race, women's suit, they have a choice. Okay.

But the men had to be completely naked. I'm like, oh my gosh, I've never walked in naked in front of people before. Like, this is weird. And, and so we get into, like, the locker room, stuff like that. I get completely naked. This guy, my coworker, he's, like, a little older I am, a little more experience. He's super excited about it. He's like, oh, hell, yeah, let's have some fun.

I'm like, this is kind of weird. And so I walk out there, we walk out to the main room. And there's probably about a good, I don't know, about 100, 120 people there. And the moment that we walk out, there's like this pool table and this couch. And right there was four females that I work with every single. day. You are kidding. All together? These girls are just going to swingers clubs at the evening together? Yeah. What kind of office did you work in? I said military. There's a little bit more kinky people in the military you can think. Obviously, if you got four out of how many working in that one

office, that's a lot. That's a good odds. Yeah. And so I'm walking out there. I look at them and they look at us and I'm like, oh my goodness. And I told them, I say, okay, what happens at that, stays at that's right so we don't talk about this outside of like at work so the co-workers and nothing like that let's just have some fun tonight yeah and they were they were actually excited that we were there because they knew us i think it made them feel a bit more comfortable in there and so we went to the outdoor hot tub and the building or the it's kind of like a mansion that used to be owned by a professional boxer so the pool is shaped as in a boxing glove so it's pretty cool and there's a huge hot tub right there and then one of the other females who started playing footutes with me and stuff like

that she I could tell that you wanted to hook up. I'm like, okay, let's go out some fun. And it was, it was like these different gazebos all around this pool. And it's all glass, right, sliding glass doors. And you can turn the lights on so everybody can watch or you can turn the lights off so you can have a little bit of privacy. We decided to keep the lights on. So everybody will walk by, they can see us having fun and having sex. So it was, it was an interesting night. I think we got there like around eight o'clock. At night, we, We didn't leave until closing, which is like 4 o'clock in the morning. Wow.

And how many people, like, who did you wind up hooking up with? It was just one girl the whole time. That same one, right? Yeah, we had sex probably about, like, I don't know, seven or eight times. I know towards the end of the night, my dick was hurting. It was like this, this is a lot of work. And it was a lot of fun, though. I mean, early 20s, I was probably like maybe 22 at this point.

So I had a little bit more stamina. Right. So I was able to keep going. It was a lot of fun, though. I ain't a lie. Yeah, because not only are you, like, there's a lot of stuff that's going down in that situation. People are seeing you fuck. You're seeing people fuck, right? Like, there's all of that besides what you're doing, correct? Like, is that like, yeah, no. Yeah.

Is that a turn on to you? All of it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, for me, like, knowing that I'm being, like, knowing that I'm being washed is a turn on. I don't know the, the term for that. Exhibitionist. Yeah. Yeah. So, and watching other people have sex is, it's, it's okay, right? Like, I don't mind doing it. But for me, it's more like, oh, people are watching me. It's just pretty, pretty hot, you know, in that setting. And, uh, and, and, uh, and, and, and, uh, and, and, and, and, And so I actually started dating this other girl, right? We dated for about a year and a half, two years. And I told her, like, hey, we should go check out fats.

And she said, okay, let's go. And it took a while to convince her. But eventually she was like, okay, let's go check it out. I said, we don't have to have sex with anybody else. It could just be you and I. And she felt more comfortable. And the upstairs of that's are for couples only, right? The downstairs are for like singles and single men have to stay down there.

You get a certain bracelet or wrist man showing if you're with somebody or not. And so I went as a couple. We went up to the second floor, so it kind of weeds out a lot of these strange single men, right? Because there is some freaks that go down there, right? Like, it's kind of weird. So we went to the second floor, and all these couples are just there talking, right? Talking and drinking, I'm like, there's no action going on. So I took my ex-girlfriend, and I put her on this bed.

So let's go and have some fun on this bed. It's a huge, like the circular beds, like the king-sized circular beds. And we just started going at it right there. and then next you're looking up and like, I have like 20 couples looking at us while we're fucking. Yeah, well, because you guys are like 20 what years old? I mean, come on. You're like fresh meat in there. Yeah, so I kind of put the party on.

Other couples started going at it and having fun. So I was like, this is boring. You're all just talking like, who's going to start this? I'm like, let's start it. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, go on. Because I do know you start to hook up with couples yourself.

Yes. Yeah. And so it was, there's two stories. to that like two married couples that I've I've been with and one was kind of more regularly and the other is just like a one-night thing right they're looking for essentially the guy was and this was like in my 30s by this time that's all this guy wants to watch other men fuck his wife and I was like shit I'll do it and she was very beautiful hot then he was in the military so it was on base so I was okay I do that I was going to go into a freak's house and get kidnapped or anything like that right right

And he just sat there and watched. There was me and another guy that he found. We were just tacked him and his wife, and he absolutely loved it. Wow. And then the other guy, like the other guy that was there, he kind of like was getting a little nervous and left. And for me and my experience, I'm like, this is fucking hot. And then eventually the husband chimed in and she wanted to try DP. And I said, okay, well, you're going to need to get some loop.

And she was like, no, I'll be fine. She tried sitting on my dick. And she was like, oh, my God. I heard so bad. I'm like, yeah, you need loop. So she was having a good time. It was pretty fun. Where did you meet these couples?

He was there again. I was on Craig. I was looking at Craigslist ads. It was like the personals was like male, female for male and I searched on that. And I was like like married couple seeking high guy, whatever it is. And I started we started talking. It was like back and forth for about a week. And it was a Saturday night.

He was like, I came over there with some beers and we were having good. I figured we're going to drink beers and kind of break the ice. And they didn't want that. They're like this. They went straight to the bedroom. I'm like, all right. Let's go. But like were you looking for that scenario?

Like were you specifically looking for a couple where the guy was by or were you just like at that point because you kind of been there done that a lot of different things looking for something kinky and like just couples so you could fuck the wife? Like what was in it for you in those experiences? At that point in my early 30s, it was more, I guess having I never been in a three some. Okay. So that's what I was like in that setting. So it was more like I wanted to be able to fuck the wife. if the guy was bisexual and not, I didn't really care. Yeah.

But now, you know, like, I am actually seeking those type of couples, right? So it'd be like, it's, to me, it's, I guess as you get older, you get more experience, the less vanilla that I want to be, if that makes sense. And so I want to try more kinky things. Well, you're kind of, because you're pushing the envelope, I think that's kind of natural. You need a little bit more and more, right? Because you kind of been there, done that, a lot of different stuff. I mean, you've already been to the Swingers Club.

You saw that. fucked in front of other people. That's why it was interesting to me. Like, now it's the couples. Like, and I would, I assumed your answer was going to be exactly what it was. You kind of did all this other stuff like this was something you hadn't done before. And it was like the threesome aspect of it. Why not try that? You're pretty, you sound like an open, curious person. No, 100%. I'm like, I tell a lot of people that I am, I have my boundaries, right? Limitations. And that's when it comes down to like, blood, yes. Like the golden child is like, I'm not into that. I'm really in my hygiene. But it Other than that, though, like if it's something that we can do, I know it's legal, right?

Exactly. You know, I'm definitely, I'll try it. Yeah, yeah, totally. Okay. And somewhere along this line, you do get married. How old were you when you got married and divorced? 24 and then divorced at 25. Oh, okay.

So not a long marriage. Yep. So, no, it was my last deployment. And we got married for about maybe six months or a year at that point and came back and she was pregnant with somebody else. Oh my God. Is that common with the wives? Like, because you're away. In the military. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they got extended. It was only supposed to be like a six month and turned out to be almost a year. You're kidding. Was it during a war? Like, were you in active combat? No, no. It was actually humanitarian reliefs. Okay. Extended us. The earthquake that hit Japan in 2011.

Uh-huh. Yeah. So we did really. It was kind of extended her employment out there for a little bit longer. Oh, wow. And so came back and she was pregnant with somebody else. And I was like, okay, well, you know, go and file for divorce papers. At that point, I was just ready to get out of the military. And four years, right, four deployments and four years was enough. Yeah, I can imagine. So.

Can I just ask you a quick question about that? Because, like, what do guys do when they are deployed so far away? Do you FaceTime and jerk off with your girls? Like, how does everyone stay satisfied? Did you, like, how did you go a whole year without fucking anyone or were you cheating on her? Like, what was going down between you and her and you? I mean, we know what she was doing. banging somebody else, obviously.

Like, what were you doing and what were you guys doing to try to keep that connection going when you're so far away? Well, back then, like the FaceTime, Skype, internet we had wasn't good enough. This is more like phone calls. Okay. And, yeah, and so, and, but no, I didn't, like, I don't cheat, right? Like, if I'm going to be with somebody, I'm not going to cheat, I typically just watch porn and jerk off.

Some people say, hey, that's cheating, but I'm like, would you rather me, like, go to somebody else. Anyone that thinks that porn is cheating is ridiculous. I've seen it. thing I've ever heard. If you're looking at Tudis and shit, no, it's not. Oh, my yeah. So, yeah, so like, my first two deployments, like, I was single, obviously, like, there's some kinky shit that you can find in, like, places like Thailand, right? Yeah, exactly.

So, but there's, like, pretty much as a military man, right, anywhere you go on deployments, right, you're going to, there's always going to be local females that want to do, look up with you, right? So the opportunity is always there. but it's depending on where you go, obviously, right? But when I was married, you're like, yeah, I was faithful, right? And but I got married for the wrong reasons, and it took me a long time to figure that out, that I just find her super hot and attractive, and I married her based off her looks and not her personality.

Yeah, I get it. Now, there was no hookups with guys, though, either, because listen, I've heard of those stories, too. There's some guy and guy action going down in the barracks, right? But you never did that either, even though you were into guys at that time. No, no. And, like, typically, like, my personal life, I can't. keep away from work. Yeah, that's smart. And so, like, a lot of people I do work with, they don't know. I'm not going to open up to people that I work in a professional basis. And now, like, I am a

manager, supervisor or something like that. I got to be very professional with how I approach my personal life in my public life, right? And even back then, wasn't it like really, like, if you get caught, you could get in serious trouble? Like, wasn't it the whole guy on guy thing, like, really bad, right? It was, yeah. So it's like scary. You could really not just lose your job, but I don't even know what the ramifications would be, but it would be bad. We're talking a long time ago. Yeah, it was like,

there's a don't ask, don't tell policy you signed, right, before you join the military that if you are gay, keep it to yourself, if you found out you are, and it's publicized

that you would get processed out of the military. Wow. And that's how it was. It was because there was a lot of, even I would say that the older generation, 70s, 80s, 90s, Vietnam War, stuff like that,

that if you were a gay soldier, Marine or something like that, that's been cases where they were actually killed by other service members. Wow. So that's the reason why it's like you got to keep it to yourself, right? So like it was, like I've heard horror stories about that. Right. So on top of them saying we'll throw you out, there's also that fear that you're going to, there's going to be retaliation from maybe the guy's sleeping next to you. Yeah. Scary. And so not now like today's like military is completely different though. Right. Yeah. It's it's 2025. It's a little bit more accepting.

As it should be. Okay. So you come back. get divorced from that girl, then, okay, so go take it from there. That's what I want to, we, we are transferred. I only had six months left in the military. So I actually got out of the military and moved back home and just going to college and had that college life, which is a lot of fun. And there was this one girl, she was beautiful, right? And she was dating this Marine or ex-marine. And I'm like, this time, I was a personal trainer at the gym. And I can always, tell her I could she was checking me out I was checking her out and I was dating this other girl for a while and we ended up break it up and I you know called this girl and I texted her I was like hey I'm single now

she's like no shit I'm single too and we just had we had a we had so much fun together and she was open she was bisexual and I was she knew that I was bisexual but we was only just like I never mess with guys with her but we would have other females that would come into how bad you got to experience everything And so like it was it was it was fun times, right? But we only dated, well, like we didn't date that long because our personal values did not align. Right. So it was like, we knew that we were not going to go anything serious.

It was more of like, hey, we're going to date just to have fun. Yeah. Well, see you learned from that first bad relationship because really the values and the more, those are the things that you need to align with when you're going to be in a serious relationship with that. That's the important stuff. Yeah. And you learn that through your bad first marriage because you didn't even think care.

because you're smart at this point for such a young guy no 100% I think that it's also like kind of like the experience that I had like in my 30s because now like in my starting around 31 32 I'd say about 31 I started getting more serious with females yeah and I went okay so I was in a three three year relationship it ended horribly because she gave me some bad ultimatum she was like it was this a bad it was a bad deal right so I was okay like then I'm single for about maybe a year and a half two years and at that time I'm having some more fun. I'm like, I hired a Dominatrix. I was like, I always want to try that.

Like, that was fun. But so a lot of time, it was like the gaps that I was not dating somebody is where that king came out. Yeah, obviously. And then by the time I was like 35 or 36, I'll say about 34, 35. I said, I started letting my girlfriends know, like, hey, I'm into this, right? Into what? What is this at this point?

Because you're into a lot of things. Right. Right. So, like, for example, I hired a dominant. Nautrix, I've always wanted to see what it felt like to be paid. Yeah. Right. It was different.

I say it is a lot different from a male to being paid, right? Yeah. This is more of like, I guess it's more taboo, right? And it's so did X. She was like, yeah, I'll try it with you. And I can tell that she was very uncomfortable, right? And I felt uncomfortable. So we never did it again.

Okay. But when I hired a Dominantias, she was like, hey, this is my job. This is my profession. Right. Right. And she absolutely like, it was like a, amazing. amazing time. I don't think I've came so hard in my life the way that she was able to work things around. It was a lot of fun. But with the, with the for my experiences, though,

is like I've dated these women for a long period of time and I felt like I've learned values from it, but I've wasted my time because I love to be able to get married again and have kids and stuff like that. But I guess my advice to anybody, right, or even to myself, is before having an established relationship, either one got her fine. go to the right areas to find somebody in my lifestyle, which is why be lifestyle events, fat life, stuff like that, that people that are accepting to it because you find a vanilla traditional person the day with and then you try to open it up later. I found out it does not work that well. Right. And so I've wasted a lot of my time trying to like the three years that I was

dating somebody, I try to like, okay, I'm going to be this loyal person. I'm not going to mess around. I'm not going to do this. But it got boring to me. It got very vanilla. I wanted to try to open up to be more kinky, it was more a backlash. Yeah, they weren't into it. And you found out so way later on, right? It's better just to put that out in the open in the beginning. And don't waste your time. Like, it was not going to work out.

It's not going to work out. Yeah. So now you're coming to your 30s in the story. And like I'm assuming all this time, you're still not, you're still not at peace with the whole by thing or even come to terms with it. Correct, right? Because it doesn't happen until a couple of years ago. Yes. Yeah. And so it was it was more trying to hide it of who I am. Yeah. Because I wanted to have a serious relationship with females. And I want, like I still do, but I want to have a serious relationship with females, get married, have a family. And so I was kind of struggling with it until I was, okay, you know what? I found out. And that's when I started doing that research, we were going way back to when I was four. Yeah. I can't, I like, if I'm trying to hide who I am for three years to a female, not only not wasting my time, I'm wasting her time.

Yeah. Right. And I saw as okay, like, if somebody is struggling that way, like, I'm trying to be more, more traditional in a sense, but you know that you're not. Like, you're conflicting your own personal self or your own personal, like values of well-being, right? Like, it makes you, it could drive somebody insane. It could cause depression. It can cause all these issues if you're trying to hide who you are. Yeah, for sure. And it's not like it's uncommon. So many people are. My favorite saying, is know thyself and it just sounds so easy but it's really fucking not most people don't know who the fuck they are they don't want to face the term people don't like the truth no one wants to look in the mirror so i think it's harder like it sounds easy but it's really not no yeah it takes some time i think it takes a lot of lessons in life yeah i think that's what life's about you're figuring out who it is and then even if it's stuff that comes out that you're uncomfortable with learning to accept it and i think that's a big part of like being in your 20s and growing up and coming to terms with everything. And I think that's why a lot of people wind up getting really fucked up because it's

not an easy thing to do. No, I 100% agree with that as well too. It's definitely a struggle if you make it a struggle, if that makes sense. And so for me, I had to do a lot of research, how to do self-searching, like soul searching, like why am I who I am? And once I found out of all the instances that happened between four years old, between 14, 16 years old, I'm like, okay, this, did this really forge who I am today? And if so, I got to be acceptance because I can't change who I am. Going back to my buddy who wanted to end his life because he was gay, it's not a choice, right?

If you try to fight who you are, like, you've got to learn to accept who you are, right? And if you want a specific relationship or a specific lifestyle, you have to find that. You can't hide it from people that you want to fall in love with. Very true. Yeah, no, of course. I mean, so what kind of things did you do, like specifically? Because I feel like I'm always thinking about the person listening, like how they could learn and stuff. Like, I think it'd be super helpful for you to be maybe a little bit more specific of maybe the books you read or the programs you took or how, like, you sort of came to resolve stuff within you.

There's a book. It's kind of more of a spiritual, religious book, but it was called Wild at Heart, right? And there was a group that I had to do. And this is kind of like the group when I had to go back to figure out why I was angry, right? Why I had such a short temper. And so we had to write down a journal of our timelines. It was the first thing that you can actually remember. Right?

And we write it down. And then, okay, what's the next thing you can remember after that? So the first thing I can remember was being, it was three years old for Halloween in my costume and having a whole bunch of candy. That was the first thing I could remember. Yeah. And then it went on. from there to there, then like you realize, oh my gosh, this instance happened. And your memory starts coming out, right?

Because we tend to like hide a lot of things. But when you start doing that, writing things of, well, okay, you're adolescents, right, then you're a teen and then your 20s. And all these events that happened in your life, it starts making more sense of who you are today. And I realized I got a lot of anger from my mom. She'd get mad and screaming out cuss if you spelled milk. Oh, she was going to go.

Right. So there's your anger, right? Because you saw her, right? Yeah. And so I was okay, that's the reason why I had this anger, like anger. This is why I cussed a lot or whatever that might be. And I think a lot of it had to do with my parents split up with such a young age. Yeah, for sure. How old were you when your parents split up? One. Oh, wow. Yeah. So one years old and we had my, my dad lived in a completely different state. A lot of people don't like their step parents. I definitely do not like mine at all. She was very physically abusive. And she would like, like. immensely abusive as well too. Oh, wait. Even your, so I mean, I know about your mom's boyfriend, but so even your dad was with someone that wasn't ideal? Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. So she would tell us horrible stories. Oh, your mom did this and your mom did that. It was all lies. And I was like maybe six years old. And so like she was also physical abusive. I remember we got to the age. She tried attacking my sister.

My sister beat the little crap out of her. And so, and I was still the younger guy. And it turned out to be like, like, we don't need to come out here anymore. Like, you've done in the summers. And growing up without a male dominant figure in my life is such a long time, my dad saw that to me and was actually became more physically abusive to try to toughen me up. Oh, God, because he hated seeing that in you. That's a projection on him, his own sort of insecurities, right?

Yeah. That's fucked up. So I think a lot of that came of why I was so angry as well, too, right? Of course. Oh my God. Look at all this shit. It was put on you. Right. So the same thing of like if somebody wants true change, if I'm not happy with themselves, so asking why I am the way I am, you have to start off of everything that you can remember and write it down in journal. Because once you start journaling and writing things down, I noticed that a lot of other memories started popping up. Right. And I read, write those down as well too. So I have like probably a 200-page journal I went through.

And then I use the same techniques for more of like, okay, when it comes down on my personal life being by, where did that start? How come I start a fine attractive? Like, there are some men out there. It could be a hormonal imbalance, right? Or it can be things that happened to you growing up or things that you experienced or witnessed or saw that you don't remember anymore. But if you go back and it's okay, this now makes sense, then at that point, once I started doing that, I got more acceptance of who I am. Right. Once I've really figured out because the confusion was gone. And it wasn't like you realize and were like, wow, I want to get rid of this.

You knew that, okay, this was put on me. There's nothing I could do about it. I can't go back and change time. So the only thing left to do is accepted. Because I think some people would be like, oh, this was put on me, right? How do I get rid of it? Like, how do I release it? How do I make it not have happened? But that wasn't what was taught to you, right? It was more so like, this is what happened to you. Like, and you could accept it. Yes. Right. And so, and then it is, I guess, like the forgiveness part of it. I tell people, you got to forgive your shells before you forgive other people. For sure. Right. And so or vice versa, right? But so now, like, I have a good relationships, right? With, even though what my parents have done in the past, like, I've sat down there and talked and I'm like, okay, like, now we have strong relationships. Right. They're all right. They admitted. Like, I was young, stupid. Yeah. How old were they when they had you? I mean, come on. Right. So, yeah. So, yeah. So. Yeah. So. Yeah. So. Yeah. So. Well, like after that, I'd be more peace. And then when it came down to my own personal life, the same thing. It was more like, okay, acceptance of who I am. And I'm not going to try to fight it because I've tried to find it. And it doesn't work. It's your desires in what you want is what you want and who you are.

Right. And when you were getting to the point where now you're accepting that you're bisexual, like how did that feel for you, like to be able to sort of say that to yourself and accept it? It feels less, less pressure on my shoulders, right? I don't have to constantly live who I am. And it felt better, right? And I do know that, like, I mean, obviously, I'm still moving a lot, traveling, but I'm going to settle down here in the next city.

I'm actually going to Salt Lake City. Okay. Next. And so I do, have I heard there, there's a good lifestyle out there. I was going to say, that's where they all are, all the freaks. Right. So where there's religion, you're going to find sex. Right.

So, well, I've heard that. Like I'm already on a Facebook group and they're like, well, you're going to fit just right in. Oh, but like, and I'm like, and I'm like,

for me, like I'm not just trying to find anybody just to go out. Like, I don't want to have multiple different partners, right? It's just, it's just, I want to try to find that one female that's open to have more,

you know, open relationship that we can do things together and explore together. That's okay with me having fun, bringing another guy in a bedroom. And I'm okay with her bringing another guy in or girl, whatever that is. Right. Because obviously there's trust that needs to be established, right, of who you bring it in. And I think a lot of females, for me, it would be like a married couples and stuff like that. Like, with my experience, they don't want like my, they did not want that. I told my ex-gofriend, I want to see another guy, fuck you. Yeah. Like, that's such a huge turn on. And she's like, that's so weird. It's so strange. I'm like, it will turn me on. But if you don't want to do it, let's not do it. Right. And so, but I think with a couple, right, that are both into the lifestyle events, stuff like that. I want to say it probably I've never been into it.

Maybe you can get stressed some line on it, but I would probably have a stronger connection relationship with each other. Because of doing it, you're saying. What's the question? Like the couples that do do it, right? That they brought it up and actually cross the line, right? Yeah. Right.

So they're not like technically like swingers and couples that have these, the lifestyle of swinging or bringing other people into their relationship. And I've seen it happen with one of my coworkers, her. and her husband about to get a divorce because they had no sex life. And they came down and saying, okay, let's have open a relationship. And now the relationship's even stronger. Yeah, I've heard it a million times. And that's like what I've always say, like my show is here to say, not that this is this lifestyle is for everybody. Most people, it's not for them. And a lot of people are naturally monogamous. A lot of people are naturally vanilla. I don't think there's anything

wrong with any of that. And I think the majority of people will always probably exist over there. But what I'm here to say is like not only can people open up their relationships and do all this fun stuff and do whatever the fuck they want sexually and be open and still love their partner, they could be closer because of it. I've heard that story so many times. Okay. And that's what I think is an important thing to say because everybody, there's a lot of people that believe the minute you do something like that, you're doomed for failure. And that's not true. And they are not only, like I said, successful at doing it. do become closer because being in the lifestyle successfully and even just being open with everything

that you're into like somebody like you, for you to be in a relationship with someone that knows that you're into dominatrix and guys and suck a dick and you've been to you want to fuck couples and you want to go to swingers clubs to be that open and to that it takes communication and it takes a lot of talking about and that kind of communication is something that a lot of vanilla Relationships lack. They're kind of like, it becomes groundhog day a little bit after kids and stuff. But when you're in the lifestyle and you're doing all this stuff, it's just to create so much conversation and that you have in common together that you have to talk about all the fucking time.

And that brings you closer. Sorry, it's about communication is important in relationships. And that goes out the window a lot of times in regular relationships. Because what the fuck do you have to talk about when you're just been doing the same shit for 30 years? No, 100%. I like, that's like my ex. I find out like the sex was just getting boring. Yeah.

It was getting really boring, but I never, we never, like, I was, she was more of that monogamous vanilla lifestyle. It was, okay, we, we had similar values and a lot of things. Yeah, which is important. But it was our sex life that was, that was lacking, right? Because the whole regular missionary, let's have sex and kiss. And I was like, okay, it's fun. I love doing that, but I want to do other stuff.

Yeah. And she was not wanting to do that. So if you were to, if somebody were to find another partner in that same life, lifestyle or just not vanilla that you can talk about and have a good relationship. I want to say that there's married couples out there like where sex is not existing anymore. Yeah. Right. And it's, it can destroy a marriage.

You can destroy a couples. But if you can find somebody who has, if I can find somebody who has a kinky lifestyle as I do, but we can share that together. And that it doesn't have to be that way or it doesn't have to be just kinky. Obviously, there's other values that come into a relationship. And if we can find that, like, I'm not going to search for another vanilla woman, basically what I'm saying, right? Like, I'm not going to try to find somebody who wants a traditional lifestyle because it's not who I am.

Yeah, no, and that's great that you're ready to put that out there. My last question to you is, have you been on any dates since you've come to this, like, realization and, like, put, like, your lifestyle and your interest and your sexuality out on the table? And if so, how have the women reacted? I've been on a few. I was, I'll say about two or three girls. I've dated off and on, like, they've last like three or four months. And it's kind of like, it was, it's, it, at, two of them was hard for me to kind of like,

first discussion at the first two or three days, like, hey, this is who I am. This is what I like. Yeah. It was more like, okay, I'm going to try to let them know that I'm kinky. Right. So, like, this girl, she was like, she never been, had a rim job before. And I was like, oh, you got to try this. So I took in the shower.

And she was like, that was very weird. And I was like, and I'm like, that's, like, that's, I've heard it feels good, right? Yeah. And so, but she was like, yeah, yeah, like a little too kinky for her, right? I'm like, and she liked the same thing. She always liked to be on top and riding my dick. And I'm like, okay, this is starting to get more.

Yeah. Then I got a girl for like about a month. And I told her, it was like, you know what? We should go to a doll store and get a strap on. Yeah. And this was after like her third date. And she was like, what? I'm like, yeah, like, it feels good.

I think that she was like, yeah, you're not man enough in that quote. like what is masculinity right if any guy actually had a prostate orgasm like they'll probably like okay I want this again exactly that's my biggest thing on my show is to change that stupid stigma which is like you're not a guy like you're not a you're less manly because you want to get fucked in the ass whether it's a dildo or not you know what I'm saying like please you see spot is in there like yeah you know and so it's just like if some people's like hey if I put a dildo on my ass on gale like no you're not like it has I say if Lesbians put cocks and fake cocks inside of them and it doesn't make them straight. Sorry.

Right. In fact, it was, it was, actually, I was a, that did like last month, a 22-hour drive. And I felt like, okay, I want to listen to a podcast. Yeah. And I think I listened to about maybe, like, I was like 20 of yours. Oh, really? Yeah. And so I didn't listen to any music.

I was like, it made the drive go by smoothly. But like, some of the things that were talked about with other couples and singles. Yeah. Kind of gave me ideas, okay, like, of what I need to focus on a little bit more. Yeah. going forward. So I do appreciate what you do. It's not so much about, yeah, let's tell people's people's key stories, but let's go ahead and educate people at the same time. That's the most important thing. I always like to throw in the kinky stories because I'm like, I'll give people

witties here and there. And I like to bring people in for the, because they want to have a witty. But what I really am always hoping is that people take something from it and learn something. You know what I mean? Listen, every now and then just a story that's just fucking hot is great, right? But at the end of the day, I'm like somebody that is always looking to learn and grow and know things. So I think that those are always my favorite episodes, the ones that do teach that. And I'm always looking for those parts of an episode. It's always important to have them in there too. So I'm glad that you get that out of it.

And I do think a lot of people nowadays are going to podcasts to learn mostly. And I think that that's great. And it's something you could share with people going forward. like a lot of couples do that like they share episodes with each other I get emails from couples all the time like oh I shared it with my wife and now she's into it and she loves your show too and that creates conversations about stuff so eventually you could maybe share my show with your new girl you might actually meet one of my listeners you're a young guy right like if you want to send me listening I'm sure you've you heard my show like if you want to send me in uh picks for my Patreon are rated I mean guys sometimes just sending picks of their body like if you want to but you know you don't have to have to. A lot of girls send me in things. But you, you said that you did a, you and somebody else did a, like, a comparison or it's like, I had a bunch of guys saying you dick pics and you compare like, which ones are the best? Oh, no, no, no, you're going to see it. It's not, no, it was a whole dick pick contest. There was always 150 dicks. And I got to tell you, my listeners

have big dicks. Okay. I was like, I was surprised how many big dicks I got in my big, it wasn't a big dick contest. It was just a dick pick contest. And now I just had a pussy pick contest. it already closed, but I got like 100 pussy picks on there, if not more. And I'm just trying to wait for somebody to critique them with me. The dick pick thing I did with my podcaster friend Lela, it's fucking funny. But what's good for you is you're going to get free access to my Discord, okay, now that you called into my show. And you can meet other chicks on there.

I got a lot of hot girls on my Discord. And people do really naughty things on my Discord. It's all naked people doing shit. Like it's very X-rated. I don't get involved in that stuff, but that's, and it's like a lot. down site that's like not safe for work so like you can do stuff like that over there so maybe you'll meet some people and but that's where the dick pick contest is the pussy pick contest i'll also give you free access to my patreon for months so you could see the comments to your episode but i love

your story i think it's great that you've comment to your own and i i believe like in life like when like whoever you're sitting across whoever you're dating whoever you're married to is like a reflection of who you are and where you're at in your life and now that you have fully accepted yourself, you are 100% ready to meet somebody that's going to fully accept you. You know what I mean? Like, that's when it happens is when you've come to terms with it, right? Like, you're just going to mirror that in somebody else. So your girl is in a Salt Lake City waiting for you. Okay, you're freaky girl. That's going to be totally dead. Yeah, yeah. You got your girl in your future. But anyway, thank you, Jay. Thank you so much for calling in. And I'll send you links to everything so you could

go in there and do your thing. And I'll send you an email when your episode is going to air, okay? It'll be very soon. Okay. I appreciate it. Thank you, Kathy. Thanks for calling in, Jay. Bye.

All right. Bye. Okay. Good news. I do have a book out. I wrote a book and it's coming out. The book is called Tricklead on This Confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers.

What I did was I picked out the 17 best episodes. That was very hard to do. Okay. I picked like one from each category. and I retold a story from the third person. So it's not interview style. It's a little bit more erotica. The only place where I took creative liberty was in the sex scene.

So it's even hotter than my episodes. Like I said, it's told in the third person. And they're all true, just like my show. I mean, these are real stories from my show, just written out. Like I said, in the third person, not an interview style, more like a story, but a true story, a true super hot story. Now listen, it is available for pre-order now, and it's not coming out until October 14th, and I was like, oh, my God, that's a long time away. So I figured I'd incentivize people.

If you want to pre-order it now, I will give you free access to my Discord if you pre-order it now. All you got to do is screenshot, a pick of the receipt, just screenshot it to me. Send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And then I will send you the link to my Discord. So that's a little incentive to pick it up now. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster. The link is in the description. So make sure to click on it.

And if you get it, send me the pick of you purchasing, and I'll give you free access to my private Discord. That is a totally naughty, super hot community with a lot of people over $25,000 people over there having fun. Remember email me the pick at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. There's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true.

I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. you could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available

in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who

buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook. the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.