Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1142 - Straight Men Can Suck a D*** and Still Be Straight?! W/ Dr. Joe Kort

Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everybody's voices and everyone's name. So if you have an interesting, naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, you could be on the show. So me an email, strictly anonymous podcast.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on Beyond the show. If you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my confessions hotline, you could call 247, the number C-474-203. 579. 347424-2-03579. Call in, leave a message. Make sure the phone is held up to your ear. I get so many messages where it's just such shit background noise. I can't use those confessions. So make sure you're calling from a quiet place, not while you're driving. Hold the phone to your ear. And if you need longer, just hang up and call back again. I will change the voices on the confessions as well. Some of those confessions, make it on to a Confessions episode, and I talk about them, the rest show up on my Patreon.

Starting point is 00:01:04 My Patreon is a great place to join. Right now, you could get in for just seven bucks a month, and you get for just seven bucks a month early and ad-free episodes. Every single one of them, I do six a week. You also get access to every single confession that ever came into my line. Plus, you get all of the anonymous, super hot R-rated picks of all of my guests, mostly. every one of my female guests has set me in a hot pick of her. So if you want to put a body to an episode, they're all on my Patreon. You also get Q&As that I do where I answer really personal

Starting point is 00:01:40 questions about my Patreon members. We do a lot of polls. But I think the best thing about my Patreon is you get access to my private Discord, which is a super fun community I have built. There's over 2,500 people on my Discord and everybody gets super naughty over there. That is where the X-rated stuff goes down. You want to see X-rated picks and videos of not only my callers, but also of other listeners. Well, that shit is all on my Discord. Like, you will not believe what's going down there. There's tons of stuff. And what's great about my Discord is you get to interact with other like-minded people. I'm not there moderating. It's not like you could only talk to me. That happens on Patreon. You want direct access to me. You'll get it on Patreon.

Starting point is 00:02:26 but on Discord, what you get, which is to me even better is you get direct access to a ton of other people. Like I said, like-minded, naughty people. So anyway, you get all of that when you sign up to my Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Now listen, I wrote a book. I got a book deal. I was really excited. I wrote a book. It's called Strictly anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. It's not coming out until October 14th, I think it is. My publisher put it up for pre-sale. And I'm going to do this thing where if you pre-order it, so ahead of time, I'm going to hook you up and give you free access to my Discord. I think this is a really great deal. So if you want it, get my book. Send me the screenshot of your purchase to my email Strictly Anonymous

Starting point is 00:03:12 podcast at gmail.com. So last thing I want to tell you about is if you are into the lifestyle or you want to learn about the lifestyle or you want to learn about all the, you know, swinger clubs or gang beings or swing or events that are going on in your area or you want to meet other swingers or you want to start having three sons yourselves. Well, right now I could give you a free trial to SDC.SDC.com is like the world's largest adult dating website. Now, what's great about SDC that my callers have told me is that it's not just the place where you can meet other people. It's not just a dating site. It's so much more. You can find out about all the events, the gangbings, the meetups, the hotel takeovers going on in your area, as well as anywhere else.

Starting point is 00:04:03 So if you're traveling and you want to have a three sub on your vacation or check out a Swingers Club really far away from where you live, well, get on to SDC and you could check out that location as well because they are all over the world. It says cc.com. Use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link and you're going to get a free trial to check it out. Okay, today I have on Dr. Joe Cort. Now, I was very excited to have Dr. Joe Cort on and he's just too smart for me. Okay. I should have just let him talk the whole time. He made me sound like a fucking idiot because he just, he's just super smart. He's great. He knows what he's talking about. He did a TikTok video a while ago that went viral and then there

Starting point is 00:04:45 was just a lot of news articles written about him and what he was saying. And basically what it was was that Dr. Joe Cordes here to say that a guy can fool around with guys and not be gay. And I can't tell you how many times guys have come on my show and said that. Yeah, like every now and then I like to suck a dick, but I'm not gay. And I'm like, yeah, right. You're by, you're this, you're that. I've always wanted to label it. But he's here to say that no, you can definitely be a guy or a woman, right?

Starting point is 00:05:10 That just wants to every now and then fool around with someone of the same section. That does not mean that you're gay or by or any of that. And I was like, oh, my God, I have to get about my show. And I did, and he's on here, and he talks all about that. And he explains why that is the truth, why that actually is the case. And I love that he's putting that out there. I love that he is talking about this. I love that his TikTok video went viral so that I could have him on my show.

Starting point is 00:05:37 And now all of you guys are going to hear this because I think that it's probably super frustrating to be somebody that falls into that category that, you know, every now then does like to fill around the same sex but doesn't consider themselves gay, but yet people are labeling them that way. He's the guy that's speaking up for you and letting you know that that exists. He explains why he's a psychotherapist. He specializes in sexology, I guess you'd say. He's got his master's in sexology. So this is his thing. This is what he's been doing. He also does consultations and he has a practice of a lot of sex therapists that work underneath him. So if you want to talk to him. I think he's the real deal. I think he's a good therapist to have. If you have

Starting point is 00:06:24 some kind of sexual issues that you want to talk about to somebody, I'm always promoting therapy, but I think it's really hard to find the right one. He doesn't do it himself, but he has people who work for him. So if you're looking for someone to talk to, he gives the links. I'll give the links in the description below. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Dr. Joe Court. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? Good. I'm glad to be here. I'm so glad you're here. Now, I don't know if other people know of you because recently you came out with a statement or a TikTok video where you were like, just because you've had a dick in your mouth once or twice.

Starting point is 00:07:04 I'm just paraphrasing it, but it doesn't mean that you're gay, right? Exactly. I saw that article and I was like, oh my God, I need to have this guy on my show. This Father's Day, instead of getting your guy or yourself something boring and practical, why not get yourself something that's going to be a whole lot of fun, like the butter wellness, Perineum massager. I love the butter massager because their massager is designed to stimulate the male G-spot, aka the prostate externally.

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Starting point is 00:08:18 And right now, Butter Wellness is offering my listeners early access to 20% off your entire order. When you enter code strictly at butterwellness.com, that's B-U-T-T-E-R-W-E-L-L-N-E-S-S-S dot com and use code strictly to get 20% off the perineum massager or the butter starter kit. That's butter wellness.com. Use code strictly or just go to the description and click on the link. You've had a dick in your mouth once or twice. I'm just paraphrasing it, but it doesn't mean that you're gay, right? Exactly. I saw that article and I was like, oh my God, I need to have this guy on my show because I've been doing my show for seven years. I'm just a regular person that loves to like analyze people and dig deep and get all this

Starting point is 00:09:09 information. And I wind up having the show where people call in and tell me all of their deepest secrets. I'm typically talking to older people because I think younger people are a little bit, way more open than people in my generation. And I can't tell you how many times I've heard, well, you know, once in a while I give a guy a blowjob, but I'm not gay. And I was always blown away by that statement. because I just didn't understand how that could be possible.

Starting point is 00:09:36 And I feel like there's a lot of words that I'm not using properly because then I'd be like, well, are you by? I mean, you have to be something because a dick is a part of a guy. And if you have a guy's dick in your mouth and you like that and you find that hot, don't you think you're by, maybe slightly by? And they'd be like, no, I'm totally straight. And you're here to say that those people are 100% correct. Yes.

Starting point is 00:09:57 And let me go back to what I have found on TikTok, which has a lot of young people on there, is that they don't agree with me. They think that if a guy is having sex with another guy, he's gay or by. And I was very shocked by this, because this is the same population that are making up all these labels and expanding, but they draw the line with heterosexual men. What do you mean? As far as, in order to be heterosexual,

Starting point is 00:10:22 you have to just remain with women. Like anything other than that, you're something else. But you're here to say, this is why you're so interesting to me and why we need your voice on my show, because you need to really explain it. So here's the idea that there are people that are into kink and into fetish, so they might have a foot fetish.

Starting point is 00:10:42 They might have a fetish to, or a kink or a sexual interest in receiving anal sex or giving anal sex. And so these men are not attracted to the men. They don't look at the men and see themselves as this guy is hot, this experience I'm going to have, this actual sexual act of a lot. about to engage in is what's turning me on. The man is incidental. So to a gay, and I know I've had also a lot of gay and bisexual men and other non-straight men say to me, oh, I've had those times too.

Starting point is 00:11:12 These are all the time for these men. It's called sexual fluidity, and people don't understand that you can be a gay or people do understand that you can be a gay man and have sex with women and still be gay. But if you're a straight man and have sex with a man, now you're not straight. It doesn't, you can't have it both ways. Okay, let me wrap my head around that one. So you're a gay man, but once in a while you might have sex with a woman. I would actually think, well, maybe you're bisexual, but people have told me I'm also completely wrong on what I, what I considered bisexual.

Starting point is 00:11:44 I can't keep track with the terms. I don't know anything. I mean, you're the, you're the PhD, right? This is why I need you to explain because half the time I'm just learning from people as I'm talking to them. well same here the PhD really isn't going to cut it either these days because everybody's making up whatever they want the term to be I know but this is a difference when a straight man has sex with another man he's not aroused by men in general he's not going to the mall into the airport

Starting point is 00:12:13 and sitting down the beach and going man these guys are hot the bisexual guy is so it's different so and people don't understand when you're bisexual yeah you there are there's a lot of comments on TikTok are, well, you can be bisexual where your sexual attraction is to men, but your sexual and emotional attraction is to women. That's right. But the sexual attraction to men is to the men and to the sex. When a straight man has sex with men, he's only attracted to the sex, or sometimes he is attracted to this particular man at this time, at this place, in this situation. But it doesn't generalize to other men. It's just completely different. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. I thought it was the opposite.

Starting point is 00:12:56 I thought, oh, okay, if I'm the type of person that likes to date and I'm emotionally attracted to men, but every now and then I like to have just sex with a woman, like I'd never want to cuddle with her and watch TV. Then that would make me bisexual, where homosexual would be that I want to have a relationship with another woman. But then someone called in once and I was like, you got it totally wrong. And I was like, I do have it totally wrong because that's what I always thought. That's what we were taught in our generation, yes. But now we know that bisexual. can be, I'm only sexually attracted to one gender and I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to

Starting point is 00:13:31 another gender. So it can just be about sex and not one to cuddle. And I feel like, well, and so the problem is I've been dealing with male sexuality my entire career and a lot of the men have experienced trauma as children. And so they may have been sexually abused by a male perpetrator. And so then they end up reenacting that trauma as an adult. And so then people see them having sex with men and all they can think of is you must be attracted to the man to be able to have sex. And if you've been traumatized and have been sexually abused, all sexual abuse survivors understand that you get imprinted erotically to things that don't always match your sexual orientation. Oh yeah, totally. I mean, I typically get on the phone with a total stranger.

Starting point is 00:14:16 I don't like to know much about the person I'm talking to. And so I just wing it. I just see where the conversation goes and that's how I get people's story. But with you, because you're an expert, I wrote down some questions and I don't even know where to start because I just feel like you could answer them all. But that was one of them. Are you necessarily born with a fetish or can you acquire one? Like I had a guy on the other day who was big into the whole cuckled situation and he tied it back to when he was really young, his first girlfriend dumped him for the school bully. And right in front of his face, everyone was sort of making fun of him and they were fooling around in front of him and he had to watch. and then he realized he had some sort of sexual attraction to it, too. And it was very confusing to him because he was devastated but kind of turned on.

Starting point is 00:15:01 And I'm like, could it turn into a fetish for three ways or seeing your partner with somebody else? Does any of that kind of make sense? Yeah. So I always divide the two into this. We have a sexual orientation to whom we're attracted and what gender. And we have an erotic orientation, what gets us off. And all of us, if we went around and, and talked about childhoods, we would discover,

Starting point is 00:15:27 everybody would discover that many things from your childhood get eroticized into your arousal template, into the things that turn you on. It doesn't create your sexual orientation. It creates your erotic orientation and contributes to that sexual or that erotic narrative. Right. So are you born with a fetish? Is fetish different than this kind of situation that you're talking about? It is.

Starting point is 00:15:49 It's different because that's your erotic orientation. your sexual orientation is the man, the woman, both, neither, a blend of both. But I will tell you this, there is research now that's showing that many kinks and fetishes are people do, there's belief that you are born with it and that it's its own orientation. I had a client, well, he wasn't a client, he was on my podcast. I would think of it was a client. He was, he remembered that the very first time he was attracted to bondage and rope was being a Cub Scout learning how to tie knots.

Starting point is 00:16:22 Now, where does that come from? It wasn't something that ever happened in before. It was just something that it was his first discovery that rope turned him on. Yeah. And that's when it kind of clicked. I've had a lot of guys that are into the panty hose fetish. I've talked to a lot of guys with all kinds of fetish, but a lot of the ones who call in are into panty hose.

Starting point is 00:16:41 And they get really deep into it. And I love to always go back and ask them, like, what were your first memories of noticing them or being turned on by them? A lot of times their memories or before they were even sexual beings. I mean, they're like super young. But it like just all of a sudden they saw them the first time and it just clicked. And what they have explained to me is that they feel like this was always in them. And the first time they saw it sort of just spark that up.

Starting point is 00:17:08 It wasn't that it was created at that moment. It just triggered something that was in them already. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And it's fascinating because I'm always talking to people. like I said, with all different kinds of fetishes.

Starting point is 00:17:23 And the other guy that I've talked to before is the guy that likes to cross-dress. And when he's dressed up as a woman, he likes to be with a man. But in his regular life, when he's not dressed up, he would never be with a guy. So that guy also doesn't consider himself gay or by or anything. Want to have like the best sex you've ever had in years? Well, then you need to get yourself some via high love gummies, okay? Since the minute I've been advertising high love gummies, I have got emails from my listener. The first guy wrote in and said he had the best sex he's ever had with his wife in the past 20 years after him and his wife tried the gummies. Via high love gummies are made for sex. Okay, they're going to get your senses going, increase your blood flow, and intensify. your sexual experiences.

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Starting point is 00:19:13 After you purchase, they ask where you heard about them. Please support my show and tell them I sent you. Take your passion and pleasure to a whole new level with high love from Vaya. He likes to be with a man, but in his regular life, when he's not dressed up, he would never be with a guy. So that guy also doesn't consider himself gay or by or anything. So he, this cross-dressing men, which now we call gender play, is usually a cisgender, heterosexual male who enjoys feeling like a woman, dressing up as one, looking like. like one makeup wig, but he knows he's male. He's not, he's not trans. And he may even want to be sexual with another man, but it's not about the man. It's about feeling like a woman with a man.

Starting point is 00:20:03 Exactly. And he, and he doesn't, and he's not trans in that he doesn't want to feel like a woman all the time. He knows he's a man. He just likes that every now and then. So that would, would that go back to what you were talking about, like his, just his erotic fantasies as opposed to his gender identity? Yeah, I would say that it's what he likes to do erotically. It's not about his sexual orientation. People just don't get it. That's why, like I said, I was so interested in you and having you on my show so you could

Starting point is 00:20:30 explain it because I get it more so now because I've heard that guy that you were talking about on your TikTok video that went viral. And I think it went so viral because people really can't comprehend it. And it's interesting that you say the younger generation doesn't buy it at all. It really shocked me. They are committed. Well, so because the younger generation, they're so into social justice and identity politics that what they do is they make up that this is heterosexual privilege and the man doesn't want to leave his privilege. That's not what's going on. That's their projection onto this guy. This guy is a straight guy, just like the lesbian is a lesbian who has sex with men, just like a gay man. A gay man might want to have sex with a trans man who still has a vagina and a vulva, but has the appearance that is a man, but his chest and his muscles are in his arms, and he would have sex with him. We would never say that this gay guy is really bisexual if he's having sex with a trans man who still has a vagina and vulva. Why would we say it about

Starting point is 00:21:35 straight men? And the younger generation says because he's trying to keep his privilege, it's toxic masculinity, it's fragile masculinity, and they don't understand. It's not anything to do with any that. I mean, it can. So I try to explain this on TikTok, but they're not listening. It can be totally a closeted gay or by guy. It can totally be toxic masculinity, totally be fragile masculinity, and that's what I keep saying to people. They don't hear the and. And it could just be a straight guy that likes to have sex with this one man and this particular sexual act. And it's the act that turns him on, not the guy. Yeah, I love that. I love that you can put that out there. And because there's probably a lot of people that keep it under wraps because people would want to label them,

Starting point is 00:22:19 right? I used to think like it was actually insulting to gay people because they'd be like, but I'm not gay. And I'd be like, what's almost rude. But I guess that's like that toxic thing that you were saying that these people are projecting onto it, right? Yeah. Because I was like, is it coming from a place where God forbid you're gay? Because it would come across to me sometimes like that. But I guess it was just that because they're not. Right. And it's how frustrating is it to sort of know who you are. Nobody's buying it. Because they have their own idea.

Starting point is 00:22:49 And one guy, I love this on TikTok. Do you have TikTok? Yes, I started TikTok. I was a little freaked out. I have to tell you, I was a little freaked out because there are so many young people on there. And I was putting up a lot of confessions and stuff like that that I get. And a lot of my stuff is a little hardcore. And it's a lot of SCX.

Starting point is 00:23:06 And I don't know. I was a little worried because it does skew very young. I mean, it's super young. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'm fighting with somebody and I'm like, God damn it, they don't understand. I'm going to go look at their profile and they're 12. That's what I mean?

Starting point is 00:23:19 What am I fighting with a 12 year old? Oh my God, that's so funny. I know. I'm like, God damn it. So now I look at people's profiles because 12 year old is not understanding. But yeah, I mean, so one guy duetted my viral video and he was, he was young himself. He was 30-ish. And he basically said, I find it really challenging that the population,

Starting point is 00:23:42 the younger population who wants all these new labels and has all these new definitions can't accept that a straight man can have sex with men. It doesn't make any sense to me. And I was like, and I duet at him. That's why I just did do it, TikTok, because you can duet, and I did duet him. And I thanked him. I said, thank you. But a lot of people aren't able to critically think and the nuances around this.

Starting point is 00:24:05 They just don't understand. Right. Now, you're a psychotherapist, right? Yeah. And then did you take, did you go to school further to just, specialize in sexology? Is that what it's called? I don't even know. Yes, I got my PhD in clinical sexology and I'm certified in it. So yeah, I have extra training. So a lot of therapists will fight me on this. But when you go and read their training, they have no training in sexual health. So they don't

Starting point is 00:24:29 know what I'm talking about because they don't understand it. No, that's why I love. That's why I was like, I have to get this guy on my show because like I said, you're the real deal. There's a lot of people that could say they're a sexologist or they're a sex therapist, but then if you really sort of dig deep, they don't really have the actual credentials. And I feel like there's a lot of schools out there that people could go and get a certification that says that they're a sex therapist. But, you know, I think that there's a difference between you and that person. Is that correct? Yes, there is. Yeah, I mean, I've been doing this. So you have to do thousands of hours of supervision and you have to keep up with your trainings. And I just, and I feel really proud of myself. I know a lot about this. And I can think

Starting point is 00:25:07 outside of what mainstream thinking is because everybody's got their own erotic thumbprint. No two people are alike, and what it means might be different for you than what it means for me. So it's hard to be so black and white then, right? You cannot be black and white about sexuality and eroticism, and our culture wants it to be that clean, that they want the fantasies and the behaviors and the fantasies and the behaviors all to line up with the sexual orientation. And they don't. Some people have rape fantasies. They imagine themselves being raped, and they imagine raping other people, but it's play rape.

Starting point is 00:25:44 Yeah. And these people during the day might be rape activists, anti-rape. But at night, they like to play with the concept of rape. It's all different. Yeah, no, totally. I mean, like I said, I've heard it all, all kinds of different things. I remember hearing Esther Perel. Oh, I love Esther Perel.

Starting point is 00:25:59 Oh, my God, I love her. She's still like a brilliant genius. And I remember listening to one of her podcasts, and she was talking about how the woman who was raped when she was younger, if she gets into BDSM when she's older, like that could be a positive thing because she's in control because she got wired that way because of what happened to her, but working it out when she's an adult in control and doing it in this way. It's not negative. Whereas I think some people would think if you do that later on because of something that happened to you that was negative, it's wrong. But she was saying that it is okay to do

Starting point is 00:26:36 that and that's a way to sort of work through it. Is that correct? Yes. Yes, 100%. And we know this as sexologist, but people don't know it. They don't understand it. And then they confuse it with orientation. What I wanted to ask you, because I've talked with people who think they're sex addicts. Do you, are you one that believes in sex addiction or not? What's your view on that? I don't believe in sex addiction because the sex addiction model is not sexually in. formed. So I believe more in what's called out of control sexual behavior. It's a more sex positive and sexually informed model and gives the person themselves the right to decide whether they are out of control or not. So it shouldn't be up to a partner or a therapist or a minister

Starting point is 00:27:24 or a culture to determine what is or what isn't too much for somebody. It should be up to the person themselves. And so if someone thinks that they have it, would you say, okay, that it exists? Because I've had people call in and be like, and I think that I'm a sex addict. I will, I use their word because that's the word they're calling it. But when they get into my office, I will instead start to call it other things and say, I hear for you with the sex addiction. Maybe you can explain to me why you think that. And then I'll, I might educate them that there's no science behind sex addiction,

Starting point is 00:27:56 that what you really have is you're experiencing sexual dysregulation. And I want to help you get regulated around sex, no matter what we call it. Because, and the problem with the sex addiction model is it uses, it has some good tools in terms of cognitive behavioral, but it puts you in a situation where you're fighting your sexual behavior. And we don't want that. The more you fight something, the worse it's going to get. Yeah, what you resist process. It's so true. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:28:23 So what do you tell somebody that thinks they're a sex addict? I mean, basic therapy. There's nothing unusual or different than if somebody comes in and says, I'm eating too much, or, where I'm struggling with even with gambling. People might go to the 12-step groups and they might do well with them. But what we find is it might be that this is your normal sexual or erotic orientation. It might be that it comes from traumas in your trauma. It might be because you're a high sensation seeker.

Starting point is 00:28:55 And you just enjoy high sensation-seeking behavior that you have to learn to control. It might be a kinket. It might be a fetish. it's just to me it's just basic therapy in helping the person understand it might be because they're bipolar there's so many different reasons for it instead of moving it so quickly to calling it something that it's not listen i'm so pro therapy i always talk about that on my show i think sometimes it's really hard to find the right therapist and that's the first thing that you have to do oh yeah i'm always like listen it's it took it could take you five tries but it's kind

Starting point is 00:29:30 like dating. You'll know the one when you meet them, but don't give up because I think, unfortunately, there's a lot of nuts out there. I, that's how I feel. But I think that's across the board. I don't care if you're going to a hairdress or a surgeon or a therapist. I think, you know, 85 to 90% are garbage and you got to wait until you find that 10%. Amazing person. I have, my life has changed because of therapy, but it was only because I was with the right therapist. And that's hard to find, but it's no different than finding that right guy, too, right? It's not, it's not just every person out there is great. Are you practicing? Because my listeners go to you. Well, I'm not, I'm doing therapy right now. I do consultations only so people could contact me. They go to

Starting point is 00:30:14 joecourt.com, and then they find my email, and then they'll schedule an appointment for a one-time consultation. But if they're looking for ongoing therapy, I have multiple therapists that work in my center. We have 15 of us. Oh, that's great. But, yep. And And they can also go to ASECT, which is the American Association of Sex, Educators, Counselors, and Therapist, AAS, E-C-T-T-O-Rog, and they can find a trained sex therapist in their area. Oh, that's great. I'm going to post that. I'm going to put that in the description, a link to your website as well as that one. Good.

Starting point is 00:30:49 Because I'm always talking to people who need therapy. I think they need, sometimes it's just a regular therapist they need, but sometimes I feel like they need a sex therapist. And like I said in the beginning, I'm typically talking to people who are older and who have been in the closet with whatever kind of kink or thing that they're into. A lot of times I find that men around 50 are just like ready to let their freak flag fly. I don't know what happens to a guy at 50 because I'm a female and it happened to me when I was like 40. I think that's like your midlife crisis. I don't know. But I have so many guys that are calling me up and they've been living a double life when they're like,

Starting point is 00:31:25 I just turned 50 and I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. And I just think it's, it's great to know that there's help out there for people to be able to come out and on the other side. Because, you know, how, how awful is it and how much energy does it take to live a double life, right? I'm sure you're talking to those people all the time too. I mean, I can't tell you how many times.

Starting point is 00:31:48 I have guys calling up my show and their wife goes on a business trip and they're, you know, swapping panties with a guy and in the house and fucking them in the ass. This shit is going down. You know, what's going on? Well, the reason the men don't talk about it is because if you read the comments on TikTok, there's so much shame and so much judgment and so much erasing that they can't. I know. It's sad.

Starting point is 00:32:12 I always feel like the younger generation is much more open-minded. You don't see that on TikTok or do you just not see it in the sense? Oh, no. I totally see it. It's just not on this topic. They are completely unopened. Right. And it's really been the most.

Starting point is 00:32:28 opening, shocking thing I've ever seen. I think it's great that you were on to clear this up. I have to listen back to this because, like, my brain is actually hurting because you said so much good stuff. It's unexpected. I think that's what it is. It's unexpected, and it's, and unfortunately, people, they, well, and this, I always say this, when women have one non-heterosexual thought, she's fetishized.

Starting point is 00:32:52 When men have one non-heterosexual thought, he's stigmatized, and that's problematic. When women are given room to be a college, lesbian until graduation, they're called Lugs in college, you know. Once men do it, they're immediately canceled. And it can't be both ways. And that's what I'm trying to break. This is about masculinity scripts. This is about patriarchy. This is about sexism working against men this time.

Starting point is 00:33:17 And people don't see it. Yeah, no, I love it. I think it's great that your TikTok video went viral, right? Was that the first time when I saw it recently? or was that like a second wave? It was a second wave. The first one went viral, but not in the same way. I didn't grab the same attention.

Starting point is 00:33:35 I think because I did it in a gym. And I really don't know exactly why. The gym did it. The shorts did it. I mean, my gym attire, the gloves, people started attacking my gloves calling my gym gloves bitch gloves. And I thought, well, maybe that could be my new, I'm so stupid. So they started attacking my masculinity on it.

Starting point is 00:33:54 Yeah. And because they can't tolerate the information. So they're just, they're uncomfortable. So they want me to be uncomfortable. And I'm not uncomfortable. You want to call my gloves, bitch gloves? I'll call them bitch gloves too, whatever you say. I like to wear gloves when I.

Starting point is 00:34:06 That was the first time? Is that what, is that what you're saying? That was the first time that happened, you were in the gym. Yeah, yeah. Well, last time I wasn't in a gym. Yeah. But yeah, I didn't even know that they were bitch gloves. Like, I'm in a gym.

Starting point is 00:34:17 Other guys are wearing bitch gloves. I don't know what makes mine bitch claws. Maybe because I'm talking about straight men who have sex with men. It's so, it was crazy. Yeah, no, that's great. I love that. I think that it went, like I said, when I saw it, I was like, oh, I have to get them on because I think it is important to have that out there because I've had guys on my show

Starting point is 00:34:35 that have told me the same thing. You're here to say that they're fucking right. And I'm wrong. And I love being wrong. It humbles me. I don't know anything. That's why, you know, I learn from talking to people, you know, on my show. And it's just always great to have somebody, you know, like a therapist, back it up.

Starting point is 00:34:53 Yes, thank you. Yes. And then, Anne, it's not just me, there's some people that have done research on this. They're sociologists, the professors at Stanford. There's a book called Mostly Straight. There's another book called Still Straight. There's a book called Not Gay. And then I have my book, Is My Husband Gay Straight or By?

Starting point is 00:35:08 So there's other people talking about this. Oh, I like that book. So that's for women. Is my husband Gay Straight or By? Yes. Yep, that's my book. And it's going to be out in audio, Sue. Oh, no, that's great.

Starting point is 00:35:22 Now, do you find that you talk to a lot of women that, are concerned or they don't know what's going on with their husband or their husband came out to them. Is that why you wrote that book or is it for women that don't know? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's become predominantly part of my practice because I deal with male sexuality. And so then she discovers that he's looking at gay porn or he's been with men or thinking about men. And so I get so many of these cases and they're not all gay. That's where the book was born out of. Yeah. It's that woman that found the, porn or found out that her husband was with another man and the husband claims to be straight.

Starting point is 00:36:01 Yep. I wanted to give them language. I wanted to give them the right questions to ask and the normalization that you're not alone. And now you're gay, right? You're in a part, you have a relationship. Are you ever with women regularly? I mean, what's your deal? Oh yeah. No, I'm 100% gay. I'm 28-year marriage or my husband and I've always been gay. And I mean, I may have a little fluidity in that as I've gotten older. I do have some sexual or erotic interest in women that I never used to have. I've never acted on it. But I'm self-identified as gay and that's where I'm who I am. Well, listen, you made me sound so dumb on this podcast. You're almost too smart. But thank you so much for coming on and explaining this. I know a lot of people are going to tune in. I think it's going to be really

Starting point is 00:36:45 eye-opening for people. It's been eye-opening for me. And I love that you're out there talking about this. I think it needs to be talked about. And I I'll put links for all your stuff because I think it's you're a great expert to point people towards. Like I said, I'm just, I'm unprofessional. I just talk to people out with their stuff, but I'm always looking to pass people on to the real professionals that could really help them. And I think you're so great. Can you give that your website again? Yeah, it's joe court.com, j-o-e-k-or-t.com. All right. That's great. I'll provide all the links for people if they want to talk to you.

Starting point is 00:37:19 They should go follow you. What's your TikTok? Thank you. It's all my, if they go to Twitter or TikTok or LinkedIn, it's always at Dr. Joe K-O-K-R-J-K-R-T. Okay, awesome. Thank you so much for coming on. I was so excited to have you all. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate you letting this conversation happen.

Starting point is 00:37:37 All right. Awesome. I'll let you know when it's going to be posted. Thanks, Joe. Dr. Joe. All right. Thank you. Bye.

Starting point is 00:37:43 Okay. Good news. I do have a book out. I wrote a book and it's coming out. The book is called Trickling on This Confessions. secret sex lives of total strangers. What I did was I picked out the 17 best episodes. That was very hard to do.

Starting point is 00:37:59 Okay, I picked like one from each category. And I retold the story from the third person. So it's not interview style. It's a little bit more erotica. The only place where I took creative liberty was in the sex scene. So it's even hotter than my episodes. Like I said, it's told in the third person. And they're all true, just like my show.

Starting point is 00:38:17 I mean, these are real stories from my show. just written out, like I said, in the third person, not an interview style, more like a story, but a true story, a true super hot story. Now, listen, it is available for pre-order now, and it's not coming out until October 14th. And I was like, oh, my God, that's a long time away. So I figured I'd incentivize people. If you want to pre-order it now, I will give you free access to my Discord if you pre-order it now. All you got to do is screenshot, a pick of the receipt, just screenshot it to me, send it to strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And then I will send you the link to my Discord.

Starting point is 00:38:58 So that's a little incentive to pick it up now. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster. The link is in the description. So make sure to click on it. And if you get it, send me the pick of you purchasing and I'll give you free access to my private discord. That is a totally naughty, super hot community with a lot of people over 2500 people over there having fun.

Starting point is 00:39:18 And remember email me the pick at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my chef. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

Starting point is 00:39:53 There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters.

Starting point is 00:40:14 It's more direct. It's not so over-the-top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format.

Starting point is 00:40:34 And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.

Starting point is 00:41:14 I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

Starting point is 00:41:44 It's

Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1142 - Straight Men Can Suck a D*** and Still Be Straight?! W/ Dr. Joe Kort

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