Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1198 - Kay is in an Open, Poly Relationship with her Much Older Boyfriend

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

Kay is in an open, poly relationship with her much older boyfriend and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when she brought swinging up to her first boyfriend, the first couple they hooked up with and exactly what went down, all the couples and crazy experiences they had together while married, how she blossomed sexually after her divorce and started going to orgies solo, the first threesome she had with two guys, her first dp (double penetration) and how she felt about it afterwards, how she met her current boyfriend at an orgy, how and why the first time they had sex it wasn’t that great, their first vanilla date and how and why she fell for him, how he copped to being into guys and how she felt about it, the guy they hooked up with in Germany and exactly what went down during their MMF hook-up, how she felt seeing him with another guy, how that same night her guy made her squirt, how BDSM allowed her to feel more pleasure but why she doesn’t need it anymore, how he digs watching her with other guys but still gets jealous sometimes, how she defines them as poly and why they’re open like that even though they don’t seem like they should be plus a whole lot more. **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.  Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://viia.co/STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Try VIIA and use code STRICTLYANON for great SEX and sleep ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://liferx.md⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Start your transformation now and get $50 OFF your first month, use code: ANONYMOUS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2520-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I change everyone's voices. Just send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Atgmelt.com. Or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. If you want to call the Confessions Hotline and leave a naughty confession, you could do that 247. The number's 347-4579. That's 347-4-203579. Some of those confessions make it on to a confessions episode where me and Erica or another co-host talk about them.

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over there. I don't get involved in my Discord, but what's fun about my Discord is everyone gets to talk to each other. It's super naughty, it's super fun. There's a whole booty pick contest. right now that you could sign up and join that you could sign up for or take part in. It ends the end of this month. So you still have time. Like I said, there's a couple ways to get in. You could also get in by being on my show. Everyone who calls into my show gets a link to my Discord. So if you want to get into that, like I said, do all the things I said, all the links and to everything is in the description. The last thing I want to tell you about is I do have a free trial to anyone that wants to sign up for SDC. Okay. SDC is like the world's largest adult online dating site.

but you also get to learn about all the stuff that's going on in your area. Okay, you also get educational information. They tell you everything you need to know is on SDC.com. If you want the free trial, use my code 377-1-2, or the easiest thing to do is go to the description and click. I'm like, oh, and I want to tell you about my Patreon. Sometimes if you go and Google it yourself, you're not going to see it because it's like 18 plus.

So just click on the link in the description to find my Patreon, and it'll take you where you need to be. So anyway, today I have on. Kay. Okay. Oh my God. She's, you know, old beyond her year. She's only 27, but I'm like, she's kind of been there, done that. She started out in the lifestyle when she was 18 and it was her decision. She's really living her life. She's a very curious person. And what I admire about her is like, she doesn't just like think about things in her head. She goes out and does them and she's kind of been there done that. Okay. She started at 18 with a boyfriend of hers in the lifestyle. They started fucking couples. She was really young. She learned some stuff about. her in that relationship. And then when she left him, she was solo and she was like going to orgies and all that stuff alone. Again, she was still like seeking stuff out. She got into BDSM. And then she talks about meeting her new partner who she's with now at an orgy. She met him or at a swingers club. I don't know. Their whole experience and her whole way she met him and their date. And their first hookup is like a

really funny, interesting story. But now they're in a very open relationship. Her and her partner now, her guy has been with guys. That was something that he really wanted to do. It turned out that she was really turned on by it. She talks about that whole experience with that. She really loves threesomes with two guys. That's what she's down for now. And then they also have this open relationship and this Polly thing. But he's kind of jealous. And she sounds like she's kind of jealous. And I'm like, why be Polly? And we discuss that whole thing towards the end. It's super interesting. So anyway, you're going to love her. She's like an really interesting character. So I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Kay. Hey, Kay, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good. I'm good.

It's nice to be here. Yeah, I'm excited to have you on. You are dating a guy now, okay, who's a lot older than you. Yes. How old are you and how old this is? Let's get a snapshot of where you are now. But the truth is, is what we're going to talk about. I always just like to give the skinny up front, right?

Is that you are dating a guy and you are like in the lifestyle with him, correct? Yes. Okay. Okay. I got that right, right? I'm 27. Yeah. Yeah. So let me get for for those who don't know, let me give all the you know the deep, the dry details.

How you would say I'm 27 and he is 48. We're both divorced. Although he has two kids from previous marriage. I've been in the lifestyle since I was about 18 actually. Oh my God. But yeah, but I've, but I've been in the swinging lifestyle and now more in the polyamorous open relationship. But I don't know what you want to call it lifestyle. So a lot of things have changed in the past years. And I also used to be when I was much, much younger, I used to be orthodox. So that was like a whole other thing. You were the orthodox one. Okay. Interesting. Yeah.

You know, that's why you sound really fucking old for your age because you've lived a lot of life already and you're only 27. Okay. I'm sorry, but you just have a voice that sounds older than 27 and yet. And then when you're telling me your whole story, I'm like, oh, that's why. Because she's actually probably very mature for her age because you've kind of been there, done that. I mean, who joins the lifestyle at 18, typically people are doing that, like, you know, way later in their life.

So how do you wind up getting involved in the lifestyle at 18? Should we start there? Yeah, yeah. I think that's like the most interesting part about it. Yeah. You know, age 17, I start dating a guy, a really good guy. Like these guys that you, when you meet them, you're like, okay, I'm going to marry this guy. There's not going to be anyone better than that.

And then a year later, I'm like, holy shit. have not been really intimate with any other person and now I'm going to get married to this guy in a few years and that's it like the end of the fun. I know the whole story. I know how this ends. And I'm like, this doesn't make any sense. I don't want this. And then society was telling me, well, if you want to have fun, you can't date a good guy. And I'm like, there has to be another way. Yeah. I'm like, it just doesn't make any sense. Like, why do I have to break up with something, something good in order to explore other sides of me? Yeah. And so I start. I started researching it and I found the swingers community and I talked him into it somehow.

He was also older than me. He was 23. I was 18. But he was also mature for his age. We both were very mature for our age. We, you know, we meet up with their first, with their first couple who are 20 years older than us. And it goes really, really well. And I have such a good time. Yeah, but could you walk us through that experience? Like, what the fuck happens? Like, do you guys go on an app? Like, young? I mean, you must have been hit up by so many people. Oh my God It was such a nightmare Because I was the youngest I was always the youngest one in the room Of course

I was always as mature as everyone else But but like no one I wasn't attracted to anyone Oh my God that's so fucking funny Because they're all so old right I mean like like age gets It's a funny thing Like the older you get the less like

Certain ages don't seem as old But like when you're really young like You know when you're 18 Even someone like 30 is so fucking old to you You know it's weird Well, for me, 30 was like a decent age, but 40 was like, oh, forget it. Like, the first guy I slept with in the swingers world was 42, and it bothered me that he had, like, his chin wasn't as, you know, as, what do you call it, as tight as, as my partner was. But his body was probably better than my partner's body was.

Of course. He could keep it together at that age. Yeah. But wait, let's go back to that first couple, okay? So, you know, you go on a site, I'm assuming? Like, how do you meet this couple? Yeah. Well, where I'm from, there's this local site.

I wouldn't recommend it, but it's the only place where you can meet couples from that community. We spoke with a few couples. This couple seemed nice and we were nervous, but it worked out. And we met with them at the, you know, beautiful giant house. We were living with our parents and they had a pool and we're like, oh, this is nice. This is nice. But wait, what was on the table? Like everything?

and anything, were you also going to hook up with the woman? Were you guys going to do full swap? Did you have any rules going into that first experience? Well, I wasn't really looking for any experience with any women, and he wasn't interested in any men, but we were looking for a full swap. We didn't have any preferences for, like, being in the same room or separate rooms.

We're like, let's just, you know, go with the flow and make sure that we're both okay. We'll communicate. And then, you know, at the end of this, we're like on our way home after we did a full swap, in separate rooms and we're looking at each other. It's like, okay, let's be how we're going to wake up tomorrow morning and how we're going to feel. And then we wake up the next morning and we're like, okay, yeah, I feel, you know, fine. I feel like still close to you. Still, I still love you.

Yeah. Interesting. Was it a turn on to you to be doing it? Like in the moment? Well, see, that's a thing. I was in the swingers world. I was looking for something. And I thought that that would give me an answer to that. But the truth is, I only figure this out eight years later is that I wasn't actually sexually attracted to my partner and meeting other guys kind of gave me a momentary

like relief or some kind of fun, but it was it wasn't authentic. There was nothing authentic there. And so I had fun because I enjoyed the, you know, the funning, the couple, the getting to know each other, but the sex was never that good. I only I only experienced really good sex with my current partner for the first time a year and

half ago. It's crazy to say. Well, listen, you were trying a lot of things. Like a lot of people when they're 18 aren't having the best sex of their life. You know what I mean? I don't think I came that easily with my first boyfriend at all because I was like really young and he was way older than me. So I just think you're you're very young at that point and you're taking in so much.

you know, so I don't know. I think it's reasonable that maybe you were, and you didn't know what the fuck you wanted. You're 18 years old. You know. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So, so you realize you were just seeking other people at that time because you weren't attracted to that guy, but the sex with the other people wasn't that great other because there wasn't like a connection with those other guys. Is that what it was? Like maybe you're like demisexual. Exactly. Demi what? Demisexual. That's like someone who needs to have like, you know, develop a rapport with someone to be physically attracted to them. I always thought it was sapiosexual. Oh, I don't know.

What's the difference, demisexual, sapiensxual? Same shit probably. I don't know. There's a lot of labels. But I mean, it's that you have to be connected in your mind. I think that's what sapiensexual is. Like your, your mind. So anyway, so you're, all right.

So with that guy, though, do you do a lot of full swapping and everything with him during that time that you're with him? We do. Yeah, we do like once every few weeks. sometimes once every few months, depending on the time of year. But, yeah, we were pretty active in the community. We went, we had a few, but we had fun here and there. Most of our, most of our meetups weren't that successful.

Like, we ended up leaving early because it just, there wasn't chemistry. But I didn't know back then that I was demisexual, that it was really hard for me to make a good connection with a guy. Like, I'd have to get drunk or something in order to, you know, in order to fuck him. Like, it was crazy. Yeah, that's not good. But that's when you know you shouldn't fuck someone if you have to be drunk to fuck them. But I still have fun.

It would still be like an experience for me. And it was better than not having it at all. Because if I didn't have it at all, then my life is pretty boring. No, no. Listen, this is how we all learn, right? Looking back. But at that time, you were just with a guy that you weren't physically attracted to. If you weren't doing that, you would have broke up with him.

And then you might have found another guy that you were super. for it. Maybe you would have been like getting it on with him and having fun. I mean, you would have been bored because you were with the wrong guy at that time. But this is, you know, listen, you had some fun. Okay. Like there's nothing wrong with that. I had a lot of drunk sex too when I was younger, but it wasn't as thought out as what you guys were doing. But I get it. So you had fun with that guy. I had the craziest thing. Yeah. Tell me. I had this crazy experience when I was with this guy. And it should have been like the most obvious science on earth, but I didn't, I didn't get the signs at the time. At the time, I didn't experience horniness. Like, my body didn't turn on before having

sex. And, you know, I would, I would enter a situation. And my mind was like, yeah, I want to be here. I want to fuck this guy. But my body would only warm up after he started, like, penetrating me or something like that. Okay. But once in a while, I would have, like, a dream, a wet dream. And in the dream, I felt my body really, really get turned on from whatever. the circumstances was, but it was only in a dream. And I didn't have that in reality. And I just didn't think twice about it. And then today I'm like, how about all did I, you know, manage eight years with a guy that I didn't feel horny about ever? No, but what's so interesting is not only that, like, how did a girl who wasn't horny decide to go, go into the horniest lifestyle imaginable? It's like,

it's just, you know, it's kind of interesting because it's like, here you were someone who's never horny yet. You're like, oh, let's go fuck other people, which is something. that typically a horny person would think about doing. Not a non-horning. Were you on the pill? Were you on the pill by any chance? I was. Yeah, that's why you were in fucking horny. The pill's the worst. Yes, I went on it for one month. I went on it for one. No, I'm sorry, but I went on it for one month when I was younger and I felt like a dead person. Zero sex drive. You know what? Why? It's telling your body that you're pregnant. So that shit gets turned off. So like, yeah, it's a very, it's terrible for women's drive. I would always, I brought this up on a call recently with a doctor. Like, I always told my

guy friends, like, you know, because they're always complaining about their girlfriends. They never want to fuck. They're always crying. They're moody bitches. It's like, yeah, because they're on the pill. It's the worst. It fucks with your head so bad. No one should have warned me. Yes, people should be warned. And it's like, I could go on and on about it. But anyway, so you're with that guy for all that time. You play around a lot. You got good stories, right? Like, what's the craziest thing you guys did together? Anything fun to talk about? Hey, want to boost your sex drive and overall experience in the bad room? Well, then you need to try Drive Boost by VB Health. Drive Boost isn't some sketchy supplement. It is doctor formulated with four

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Your order that's code strictly. Use it for 10% off at vb.com. Or just go to the description, click on the link and use my code strictly at checkout. Fucks with your head so bad. No one should have warned me. Yes. People should be warned. And it's like I could go on and on about it. But anyway, so you're with that guy for all that time. You play around a lot. You got good stories, right? Like, what's the craziest thing you guys did together? Anything fun to talk about? You said most of them didn't go, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we had fun. It wasn't like, I mean, the only reason I continue doing is because the experiences were a lot of fun. It was very dynamic and there was a lot of, like, tension. It was like going on a bunch of first dates. I loved it. I craved for it. And we had some really crazy experiences.

Once we had a surprise of, not a three-sum, fix them like you know what two couples came and i was like the first time we ever did that that was a lot of fun and then there was once where we met this crazy couple who the woman she came with a butt with a suitcase full of like lingerie and she dolled me up and dressed me up and it's like oh my god it was it was more hilarious than anything else oh and one guy made me squirt for the first time in my life and i didn't know that i can do that and so that was obviously uh you know the first time you you you see the bed after he had a crazy experience. I'm like, that was me. Yeah, oh my God. Now, did you marry that guy? Did you wind up marrying that guy? I married that guy. Okay. And you were with her?

No, no, no. I married the guy I was with. I didn't marry the guy who made me. No, of course not. I know that. Yeah. I mean, you know, that might not be a stretch, you know, because he didn't make you score. But no, I was saying, did you marry the guy you were with for the eight years, right? So a total you guys, the same guy that you started swinging with 18, you marry him, you get divorced. Now you do meet your current guy at like an orgy, right? right? Because like so obviously you continue to be in the lifestyle after your divorce. Wow. Oh my God. Everything changed after I got divorced. I blossomed like a flower. It's insane. Like I stopped taking the pill almost like a year before I got divorced, but I wasn't on the pill. So I was feeling my body. I started experimenting with BDSM. Yeah, exactly. I started experimenting with BDSM. Like all of a sudden, there were a lot of things that turned me on that I experimented with. I met people. I went to my first young orgy, like orgy for young people by myself when I was, when I was 25. Wow.

You got balls. And I had my first threesome with two guys. Oh my God. How was that for you? That was amazing. I loved, oh, my God. And I have a thing for three sons with two guys. It's an obsession.

Oh, really? And did you do like the air tights, the DVP, the DP? Like, you know, I don't know how far. you went that first time. No, no. Oh my God. That's like a whole other story. I actually, I told the story on, have you ever heard of SmutSlam? No. What's that? Another podcast? What's it called? No, it's, it's like a meetup where a bunch of people get together and then someone goes up on stage and for five minutes tells like a bunch of funny fuck stories. Oh, like the moth, but like sex. Like the moth, but like a sex version of it. I know storytelling things like that. Yeah. So go on. Yeah, and so I told the story how I've been trying to have my DP for like a whole year. And every time I have like, you know, the opportunity to do it, something happens and it doesn't work out. And like there was once where it was so close.

And it just fell through because some guy was helping me move with calling you. He has at the parking lot and was trying to get in and help me. And it was like a second before. And so like for a whole year, it's been a fantasy that I've been trying to. to do and actually after a year I gave up on it and it just didn't interest me anymore and then when I did have the opportunity to try it after a year with my current partner I realized that I actually didn't enjoy it that much that it was too intense for me oh interesting but at least you got it done that as you know you got it right like been there done that listen it would have been in your head like this thing

that you were thinking you were missing that was so great yeah oh my god it was in my head for so long Yeah, so now you try it and you're like, okay, not so great. Too much. Too many dicks and one pussy. I mean, I don't know. It's a lot to take, right? Double penetration. Two dicks, dick in your ass, right? Right. Two, a dick in your, two places, right? Now, do you typically like anal? Yeah, I do. Actually, I have a fetish for that. Oh, really? Okay. I don't know where to fucking go with you. You have so much going on. Okay, let's stay chronological. So you're, you're finally get off the pill and you're feeling horniness for the first time. And now, I mean, to me, you sound horny before this. But anyway, now you're going to going like you're getting into BDSM, you're doing threesomes with two guys, and you're single girl, and you're going to like orgies and shit by yourself. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to parties. I'm going to orgies. I'm going, I met my partner at, like, a kind of orgies swingers party, and I went

there with, like, with a girlfriend, like, a friend who was a girl. Yeah. And I didn't even expect, I didn't expect to do anything there because I was really there to help the organizer because I was really curious and I wanted to get in for free. And I didn't like any of the guys there. I didn't like any of the people there except for my current partner. I'm going to call him D, okay? Because the name starts with the D.

And when I met D, like, he's like, okay, he's cute. And I had a few words with him. And then I asked him how old he was. He was like, oh, I'm 46. And I have two kids. I'm like, shit. Okay, bye-bye. And I turn around and like, I walk away.

Yeah. Well, we know you're still with him. So what the fuck happens? Well, you know, the evening pass, and he had his experiences, and I didn't have my experiences. And right before he was about to go, I'm like, okay, at least I'll say goodbye to him. Like, he's the only decent guy around, and I'll at least, you know, give him a hug. And I come to say goodbye, and we end up talking for, like, three hours. And then after that, we had to one of the rooms, and we have our own short but fun experience.

Oh, really? And then he asked me out, yeah, and then he asked me out on a normal date, like, you know, regular vanilla kind of, you know, going to a restaurant and just talk kind of date. And he was so sweet. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'm polyamorous. I can date him and have some fun and then date someone else and have a serious relationship. Yeah, but let me ask you real quick.

No, no, but what was that quickie like? Because he's like, you're just going to say goodbye. How do you wind up in a room? It was shit. It was shit. No, it was shit. I have to say, it was the worst sex I've ever had in my life. With this guy?

I had, I had like, yes, with this guy. With this guy, like we both, we both laughed about it all the time. I had, what do you call it, like a yeast infection. Viginal sex was like, was off limits. And I only go down guys if I feel like a really strong connection and I'm feeling really kinky. I don't just do it on first dates. Yeah.

And so the only hole I had left with my ass and so we ended up having like anal sex. You were fucking so funny. I'm sorry. Do you understand how interesting you are? I get that sometimes. Yeah. Okay, wait. So he came so fast.

Yeah, right? Okay. And he's because he's fucking you in the ass. Like, you're just supposed to just be saying goodbye. And he's 46 and he's never been with a girl half his age. Yeah. He's like excited about it. Yeah.

But why wasn't it not good? Because it was too quick. It was way too quick. I just wasn't feeling it. And he had like a relatively small dick. and I was a little disappointed. And I didn't find him, I didn't find him attracted. Like he was skinny and he was, he was okay, he was cute, but like he didn't turn me on in any way.

Right. But you obviously turned him on because he like hit you up to go on like a real date like right after this. Yeah. Okay. Right after that. Like the next day. Okay. And how was that vanilla date?

Wow. The date was great. We spent like eight hours together. We, we helped to different. like restaurants and bars and and it was oh it was so much fun he's such a great guy and he made me laugh

and he made me feel really special like he he was he's like I don't know how to describe it in English like he was 100% with me the whole time like his eyes his interest it's like the whole world didn't exist except for me and him yeah I know that and it and it's like being very present

like being very present like being very present, like he was very present. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm used to dating young guys who are, you know, ADHD and have a million things going on and I have to like fight for their attention in a way. Like I have to in order for me to feel good about myself, I have to

like work hard. And for him, just my existence was like an anomaly for him. Like he looked at me like as if I was a goddess and I love that. Yeah, I love that. But the craziest thing was was that when I met him, he wasn't kinky or at least he didn't call himself. Kinky. He wasn't into BDSM.

He didn't even hear of it. He thought from like porn and stuff, but he didn't really know anything about it. I was very involved with the community. And he had a relatively small dick. And I didn't find him sexually attracted. Okay? So like all this, everything was

there telling me like, why are you with this guy? But I had such a good time with him. I'm like, okay, so you know, he'll be like my vanilla boyfriend and then I'll have like another boyfriend on the side who I'll do the kinky stuff with. Yeah. But obviously little did I know. Little did I fucking know. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't wait to find out what you found out. So our second date, we decided to do like a car date because I was living

with my mom after the war started and I was like stuck. I didn't have a, I didn't have my own place. And he was still living with his ex-wife because he had financial issues. We had nowhere to meet. And none of us had a penny in our pockets to pay for like a hotel. So we had. had a date in his car. He had a, he has a station wagon. So, um, station wagon. We put out like a picnic. Yeah, we put like a, a picnic blanket. And we had a, it was in the winters. It was like raining outside and the doors were all fogged up. And we had such a romantic date. We just like sat and talked. And then, then we started talking about very sexual things. And he kind of told me about his secret how he he's been exploring like ass stuff his whole life he's been into ass play like on

his behalf his whole life and like holy shit me too like we have this in common yeah and and then we ended up having sex which is a lot better than the first time and I brought with a bag of toys because I love my toys I was obsessive my toys oh and you travel with them I travel with them when I go on a date that might end up in sex I bring them with yeah Guys, I must fucking love you. Or maybe they some are intimidated. I don't know. What's in that bag of tricks you got in there?

Like, just every, all different kinds of things. Everything. It has my essentials. It has like a half-dil-do half-vibrator. It has a small plug, a big plug, a big dildo, lube. That's about it. Yeah, no, I like it. And condoms, of course.

Yeah. Yeah. Everything you might need. Okay. Yeah. And then he sees this bag and he opens it up and he starts exploring my toys. And then he sees this, this big plug. he takes it and he puts loob and he sticks it in himself.

And I'm like, what? What? Oh my God. It was so, it was so awkward for me, but like I knew that I didn't like the fact that it was awkward. I wanted to be okay with it. So I didn't say anything and I went with it. And I got used to it. Obviously, I got used to and I started liking it eventually.

But at first it was, it was just like him being really, really open to me and me really being open to him. And I actually ended up telling him that I loved him on that date. And this was a week and a half after I've known him. And we both told each other that we love each other. And we were like crazy in love. And it was crazy. Oh my God. First of all, how long you've been with him now, like up until this point?

A year and a half. A year and a half. Okay. So you guys are like in love. Was it just lust or was it like love, you feel like? It was love. It was more love than it was lust. The lust came with the love.

So we got to know each other like really, really, really got to know. We were so intimate. And then when we started having sex, that's when we got more and more kinky because we felt so comfortable around each other that we shared our like deepest desires and, and we explored everything, everything. We tried everything. And I felt so comfortable around him and I've never ever felt so comfortable around someone. I feel more comfortable around him with my sexuality than around myself and like being by myself with myself. Oh, I love that. And so. Yeah, I just opened up to everything.

And we started exploring, well, we also, at first we were just with each other. I had another partner at the time, kind of like friends with benefits, but that only lasted about a month or so. And he wasn't seeing anyone else at the time. So we're kind of exclusive, but unofficially, like we could see other people, but we didn't really want to. and but after a few months we did want to explore of like we wanted to meet like couples and singles and that was oh my god that was a whole that's a whole mother's thing he he always had

fantasies about being with a guy he's more like a subby than he is a dom he guys have you ever had a night where you just like couldn't get it up i can imagine if that happens even just once you're going to be so worried that it's going to happen again. Well, now there's no reason to ever worry about that happening again because there's Bluetooth. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers chewable tablet at a fraction of the cost. And the good news is it's super easy to get because everything is done online. All you got to do is sign up at bluechew.com. You're going to consult with one of their licensed medical providers. And once you're approved, receive your prescription right to your door in a discrete package. You don't have to go to your

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you get your first month of Blue Chew free. Just use code strictly an non-at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BluCoo.com for details and safety info, and a big thanks to Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. of like we we wanted to meet like couples and singles um and that was oh my god that was a whole that's a

whole mother's thing he he always had fantasies about being with a guy he's more like a subby than he is a dom okay and and and so he was he always had like this fantasy to to to be with a guy and he also was new to the to the community he's only been like exploring for about a year or two by the time i met him and he has like given a guy a blow job and meet out with him but it wasn't like something he enjoyed and so we were talking about it for a few months at how he wants to experience being with the guy and like being penetrated by a guy like having sex with the guy yeah but it was just like we're talking about it for a few months and then we end up flying to germany for a short vacation and we're like okay okay let's let's call a guy let's meet a guy and so I download it field and they're like

looking through the different guys, we ended up talking to someone. We met with someone that didn't work out. Then we met with another guy. It was like, it was the craziest night of my entire life. Why don't you walk us through the whole night? Get specific. Okay, all right. Let's get specific.

So we're in this like small hotel room and we order, we order. I'm like, I'm talking about a guy that we ordered. Yeah. He's like a burger. Yeah. And so we talked to this guy and he said he's going to come over, like a tall German blonde guy, and he's like, you know, handsome and everything. And he comes over pretty late at night. And so we were just sitting with him, like, so sweet and so smiling.

And then him, D and the guy, they actually fuck. And I'm like, there. And I'm looking at it. And I'm looking at his face. And he's like, oh, my God. He's like the first time he's ever had sex in his life. And he's like, this is what I've been missing for 47. years, this, and he's, oh my God, he's an ecstasy and he came so fast, it was crazy.

And so, and you wind up realizing that you were, you were turned on by it. I was so turned on by it. Oh, my God. Like, I was looking at it and, and I, I didn't, I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to sit there and be a fly on the wall. Right. I loved seeing him, like, like, is just seeing him so, uh, Pleasured and I don't know how to describe it.

And after the guy had to leave pretty soon, he had some issues. And then me and D speed up the whole night. Absolutely completely in love. Head over heels. We couldn't not touch each other. And I ended up, we ended up like fucking for just hours in missionary. Like just lying there, missionary, he's like on top of me. And I'm not, like, my legs aren't even open.

They're just like lying. I'm lying there with my legs clothes. and he's like penetrating me and we're just looking to each other's eyes and we're fucking love. And then, oh, this is the craziest part. Then I'm like, okay, I got to pee and it's been too long.

And he's like, no, no, don't go, don't go. Stay here, stay here. Well, no, I got to pee. I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. And you can guess what happens. Oh, what is it called? I'm not like, Golden Shower play?

Like, you tried a golden shower? No. Oh! Right, because the pee is making you. Right, okay, it was squirt. It was a squirt. Oh, and you, well, let me ask you this. You know, because that guy who had you squirt that one time, was that the only time you hadn't squirt it since?

I had a few guys, I had a few guys make me squirt in, like, the past two years. But it was like, you know, when you do it, like, really intensely, two fingers and it's, like, very technical. And you feel like your vagina's going to burst. So I've had that. Although Dee has not made me squirt ever, he, I don't know if he's, like, not strong enough or just hasn't worked. with him, but then he's not even trying hard. He's just penetrating in the most regular, boring, mundane position. And I'm squirting nonstop again.

And then it stops. And then it starts again. And then it stops and starts again. And I'm like, my mind is completely blown. At the time, I thought I was peeing. But then when we got up to take a shower, it didn't have any smell. I'm like, holy shit, this is me squirting. And we go to the shower and end up squirting again.

Like, we fuck in the shower. and he sits on the floor and I'm just like and I'm squirting again and again and this is he he has a thing for for bodily fluids he has like a fetish for bodily fluids and so he was in heaven and this is the same time

this is the same evening he fucked a guy for the first time oh wow so it's a lot of first yeah and then I don't know what happened I don't remember how the rest of the evening went on but eventually we ended up we ended up going out to get some air and then I'm like

holy shit, I'm going to marry you. Like, we're talking about getting married to each other. It wasn't like a romantic proposal. It was just like me understanding that this is my guy. And there's no way that I could have experienced this with anyone else. Right. And then we came back to Israel. And I'm like, okay, am I going to be able to squirt without taking MD?

I was so nervous about it. And then obviously a few months went by and I couldn't do it. And then we tried it again. And then I could squirt. And then something changed and like my mind rewired itself and I, and I now can squirt during penetration literally every time we have sex. Oh, wow. So he got you to be able to do it. Yeah.

How did you figure it out? What changed? Well, how, what changed? Well, that's the thing. Like everyone talks about squirting about doing something very, very specific, right? You have to like touch your G spot and you have to rub it and this and that. And it's like, for me, it's not technical. You can stick one finger and go with slow.

you want and if I am present, if I'm turned on and if I feel like I can be 100% myself and I can be open and I can be kinky, you know, it just happens. Like I can release my, my, what do you call those muscles? Palette floor? I don't know. Yeah, exactly, public floor. And I can just like release and then I feel more pleasure and then it reaches like these peaks and then I squirt.

And it doesn't matter what the guy's doing. We actually went, we went to, like, a squirting workshop. I was one of these, these festivals. Yeah, we went to because we were curious to know what it was that we were doing that worked. Yeah. And the whole workshop, all it was about was just being present, having the female, she was wearing, like, all the women were wearing, like, eye masks. So it's like having her not feel shame, not feel pressured, just 100% present.

and having the guy totally, like, only focus on her. And then there was a point after, like, it's like an hour of just, like, gently touching, you know, some nickel play and breathing exercises and pelvic exercises. And then he tells that all the men in the room take out one finger. And we're all laying down on our backs. And he tells the men to take out one finger and to stick it by our vaginas, like in. Not to go, not to penetrate. Just to put our fingers there. And then he asked all the women to do all the work, to move in and out and move in and out.

Oh, okay. And that's, and then I started squirting, like from one singer and I was doing all the work. And he wasn't even going that deep, but he didn't touch my G spot or anything. And I squirted like bottles. Oh, wow. I think I definitely have a block to it because it's in my fucking head. You know what I mean? I call it pokey-pokey.

I don't like someone to. Yeah, sorry, go on. No, no, I'm curious. I'm curious to know what it's like, could you just said that you don't do that? No, no, no, I can't. Yeah, because I have this pokey. I call it pokey pokey, listen to my 500th episode. I talk about why pokey pokey's not good. I don't even like someone to finger me with like one finger. I want three or thick dick fingers. I don't like thin things going inside my pussy. So when someone's taking their finger and probing, it just fucking flips me out. So that is why I cannot squirt because I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I am so relaxed with fingers up there looking around on my insides. You know, it's a mental block.

But I don't care. We have so many stories. Let's get back to you. I don't want to talk about my, you know, my sad life. I'm so curious about that. I've also always like really like big stuff and big dicks and like I always wanted more intense. That's why I was into BDSM. Yeah. I wanted intense sex because I wanted to be forced to have, to have, to feel pleasure because

I couldn't feel it unless it was forced upon me. But then all of a sudden with him, I was so present that I could feel this pleasure without doing that much. And I told you already that he doesn't have a big dick. He has like average, average at most. Maybe like a little bit longer than average, but like wits wise, like this not big at all. But I, like, it was just amazing. Like that's exactly what I needed because I can feel what's really, really happening without it being too much for me to handle.

Yeah. And I always had problems like reaching orgasms with men. I was never something that was easy for me, even by myself. Like I have a really high pleasure tolerance. I need a lot to. Yeah, but let's talk real quick Because I still want to get to the fact That you guys have an open relationship

I want to hear how you guys play together Wondering about other things besides just the guy stuff But like what is the BDSM? What's the stuff that you're into Like when it comes to BDSM Are you still into that? Have you gotten him into it too? Well, we did experiment with it a little bit

There were a few times where I was more dumb And he was seven And he was dumb And generally our dynamic does have that in bed where he's like more controlling, especially like when I'm not in the mood and he's just like, oh, I want to fuck you, who cares? And then he just gets on me and sometimes even wakes me up because he just wants to fuck. And I love that. I love that. It's like very, very bea-send for me, but there's new, except for there's a few times that we tried it, we're not

really into that stuff. We really, really like being present with each other. And I used to be obsessed with it. I could not date a guy who was like vanilla. And now I just, sometimes I'm in the mood, but, but like, I just, I, I, I, I, I basically forgot about it. Because I, because I think that the whole point of me wanting BDSM is to be able to feel pleasure. Yeah. And you feel it with him now and you don't need it as tense anymore with him, right? Exactly. Exactly.

And I never thought that, it's like, I know that a lot of people like BDSM for other reasons. For me, it was just about letting, you know, letting go and losing control in the moment and just being, being, you know, your most perverted self and allowing yourself, like, really allowing yourself to be that without shame, without, like, judging yourself. And I had a really hard time doing that because I was brought up in a household. Forget, forget being orthodox. Just being with, with people from a certain generation who don't even talk about sex. And everything that has to do with pleasure and sex is shameful. So I always felt shame in being very sexual. and BDSM allowed me to be very sexual and not feel shame because, oh, well, you know, it's not my control.

I'm not controlling it. It's not my fault. Yeah, totally. But then with him, I could really allow myself to be sexual and I didn't have to feel any shame with it. I think it has to do with the fact that he loved me for who I was and accepted me like in every, in every circumstance, in every situation. He loved me just the way I was. And so back to the juicy parts. since we've been dating, we've,

we've had a lot of bisexual guys join us. And so he has his fantasies come true. Like he can deal with guys. And I love having threesomes with two guys. And so I have that part as well. Oh, really? So right, because, and the guy guys that you get, they're into you, they're into him.

So you guys both are fucking these guys together. Yeah, exactly. I mean, there was a time that we would do it more. like the past few months we haven't really had any success with it because I just realized that I'm more demisexual than I've ever been. And if I don't have like an intimate connection with a guy, I just don't find him sexually attractive. I don't get to turn on by it. So it kind of stopped, to be honest. Okay, but now you have said that you're doing a little poly and stuff like that.

I mean, you guys have been open in your relationship from the get-go, right? I mean, you met at an orgy in a swingers club or something, right? So you've been open to being with other people. he's been with guys. He, does he now get off on seeing you with guys too? Like is that,

does he get as much pleasure out of that as you get seeing him with guys? Times. It depends with, like, if it's a guy who might be threatening to him,

like a guy, I actually, I really genuinely like and I would date him, then he, he doesn't find it attractive. It threatens him. He gets very,

very jealous. Yeah. But if he's like, the guy in bed, that he knows, I'm never going to, I'm never going to date a guy like that, then it can really turn him off.

Like, turn him on. I mean, like, he can, what's the word? Like, he can just sit there and just masturbate while watching me because he likes seeing me be pleasureed and being fucked.

Yeah. Does his wife know about you? Does his wife know he's dating a 27-year-old? Well, he's almost divorced. He's, like, separated. And they've not been, I mean, he moved out,

I think, like six months after we've been dating and now we're living together. So she obviously knows. ex, his ex, wife. Yeah, she knows. She knows. You know, I live with the kids and everything. And obviously, she wasn't happy about it at first that I'm 20 years younger, but I think

she'd learned to accept me. She doesn't know that we're Polly, though. Yeah, so how does that work, Polly? I don't think anyone in. Yeah, how does that Polly work for you guys? Because I don't understand how Polly works for a guy like him who's jealous seeing you fuck a guy that you might like. And how does that work?

How could he be Polly if he's jealous of you just fucking a guy? Yeah, it is very. Polly is always very complicated. This is where you're going to make my head hurt. Yeah, yeah. You poly fucking people. I don't know why you all torture yourself trying to be fucking polys for the birds,

if you ask me. Well, I don't know if we would call ourselves polyamorous. I know that I know that I am a polyamorous person like my values are, but I don't know if like I actually have polyamish relationships because, well, I have a really freaking busy schedule.

I don't really have any free time, let along having two relationships. I can't keep one up. But, like, technically speaking, we are both completely free to do whatever we want with whoever we want. There's no cheating. There's no, like, he can start chatting with the girl and start sexting with her if he wants. And he can technically meet girls, but he doesn't do it because he doesn't have time for it. And he doesn't really want it because he's attracted to me. And I've tried dating guys.

He has gone jealous, but they hasn't stopped me. It hasn't, I mean, we just, we go through it. I mean, there's like one day where he's distant from me and we talk it over and then we just got back to things as normal. But I haven't really had any success dating any new guys. Can I just ask a question? And I always forget to ask this for polly people. It's like, why bother? Like, you really like this guy, right?

You know he's jealous and he doesn't like, like, why do you, like, why have, like, why not just fuck other guys every day and then? But why do you have to, like, put that on your guy's relationship that you can go. have relationships with other people. It doesn't even sound like you want to be, have relationships with other people. I just don't understand it. I think it has, I think it has more to do with what you can do and not what you're actually going to do.

Like, I think if someone told me I wasn't allowed to date other guys, I would want to date other guys. Yeah, it sounds like a mind fuck. But in reality, I don't know that it's going to work for you guys. And I'm sorry, but I don't know in reality if it's actually going to work with you guys.

Because I just so you know, you guys aren't Polly, okay? Like, just for you the fact that you just said, to me. Just for the fact that you just said it and the way you said it. And first of all, what you told me before about him getting jealous if it's a guy that you would like that you would leave him before he can't handle it. So right there, this guy is not capable of being Polly. And why are you going to waste your poor, great relationship with him, talking him through jealousy all the time and torturing him? I mean, he's just probably not into that

kind of experience. So he doesn't, you know, he's too jealous of a person. Why put yourself in that place to be jealous all the time in a relationship when you're totally in love with the person in front of you? know. So anyway, the second thing is, is you said, oh, he can go and fall in love with other women, but he doesn't because he likes me the most. Well, that's great. But what happens if he starts liking another person more than you or as much and he's in love with her? How are you going to feel? I bet you you're going to feel fucking jealous too. Sorry. Because the way you phrased it. You're absolutely right. Yeah. The way you phrased it. Everything you're saying is like, yeah, he could do it,

But like he likes me better. Like so obviously you're kind of like wired like him too. So I don't think you're going to like it if he winds up meeting a girl tomorrow. And he's like, oh my God, I'm so into her. And you're like, oh, yeah, well, we're Polly. Have fun. Great, you know. I don't know that you're Polly.

Or you should be. I don't know that you should. Yeah. The freedom. Okay. So say tomorrow he actually meets a girl. He actually wants to see. And I get jealous.

Okay, so I'm jealous. So I'm feeling uncomfortable. But my core beliefs, my core values, like the things I really, really believe in are that he should, he should experiment, he should experience, and he should, he should enjoy his life to the most. As long as we still communicate, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't come instead of our date night or our, our time spending together as long as he stays safe. I am not, I'm not his, his boss, his controller, I don't own him. So it has more to do with the base, with like our building blocks and less to do with what we actually do. Because we've experienced me going out on dates and him being jealous. And obviously it's not fun. And I wish that he wasn't jealous. And I wish that I don't want to go out on more dates.

But you do want to go out on more dates. Yeah, because I know that if we don't do it, if we don't have an open relationship, we're not going to last them in years. There are not a lot of people who stay married, stay happy, stay sexual. I mean, and I don't want to just fuck other guys, because obviously, you get me sexual. And when I, when I meet other guys, unless I have, like, an emotional connection with them, or if I'm very intimate, I just don't want to be with them. I'd rather not have sex at all than have sex with a guy that I'm distant from it. I can't really be myself. And so, it's like you can't have one without the other. And we're still experimenting with it. And

we're taking it very, very slow. It's not like hardcore polyam dating other guys. So like at first, a year ago when I dated another guy, he got so jealous and it was so hard for him. He couldn't concentrate at work. And we had to speak it over. And after a few months, there was a time when he went on a date and I actually asked him to close a relationship for a few months while I settle into like new living arrangements. But like the last time I went on on a date, he was really cool. Like he got a little bit uncomfortable, but he continued on with his day.

And at the end of it, he came back to me. Like, he was, he came home and he was immediately back in like in our bubble. I like to call it a bubble. Yeah. When I just ask you one more question. I get it. Can I just ask you one more question before I get back to this complicated stuff? Yeah.

This is why Polly people. I don't understand why you people put yourself in torture scenarios. It's like it's because maybe you're just so smart you need like that. We love it. You know, I probably, yeah, I probably need to do that too. Yeah, no, I probably need to do that too. Yeah. No, I probably need that too because I get bored in relationships. That's my problem. So it's probably

like this would be good for me too. I think you're just like you're so afraid of getting bored and you know what I mean in like Groundhog Day that you have to like add all this nonsense, which I'm starting to understand. But I was just going to say like why not okay like because you're so new because I've heard every different kind of scenario, you know, Polly people from the beginning. You know. And why not? Because you're so still like in the honeymoon phase. I mean you're only been together for a short time. We just started, like, why not, like, start being Polly when you really feel like, oh, you and him have got this down.

It's kind of getting Groundhog Day. Like, let's go out and have fun. Or are you already feeling that even though, like, you're still in the honeymoon phase with him? Like, because I'm just saying, like, why not just be exclusive and just doing it? Why not be Polly down the line when you really have a desire to get that spark again? Because maybe you don't have it with your guy. Well, I don't like being.

I don't like having that like tag on me calling myself exclusive. I don't like just saying that he can't be with other women. I got it. No, no, no, no, no. You could have sex. No, no, no, you could have sex with other people. I'm taught, like, the Polly thing is about, like, falling for other people. It's a totally different thing.

I'm not saying you guys are going to. But it comes together. Wait, look. For you, right. It's, all right. So, like, I wouldn't, being, being Pauly is, is obviously having multiple relationships, but every relationship can be different. So obviously, I wouldn't want him to have a relationship where he wants to

meet her twice a week and he wants to go out on proper dates and like go to movie theaters and I know I know this is why I'm obsessed with you and you're going to have to call me back in a year and tell me how your fucking Polly is going because you know I don't know how you're going to be Polly and then have all those fucking boundaries you just like were rifling out I had to cut you down because that's not just not going to happen you're not going to be able to say fall for somebody but you can't fall for them and see them more than this and that and you know it's going to be such a fucking torture mess it's like your BDSM you know where your BDSM is now and you're mental you're like a mental you're like a

BDM mind-fucking each other every day. This is where you're getting your BDSM from. This is where you're getting at it. Sorry. I think it has to do with where we are now and where we're going to, where we like see ourselves in the future. So where we are now, we have absolutely no free time. We don't, we don't even go out to party.

We have the craziest hectic schedule. We can barely fit like a date night once a week. And so he can't, he literally physically can't have another relationship. Even if I told him, please go do whatever you want. I'm fine and if I really was fine, we can't. We just don't have the time. But in the future, when we will have the time, we probably will want this. We will want other relationships with other feelings. It's not that there's boundaries. It's more like I understand what we're at, what reality has to offer us right now. And so I take comfort in that. It helps me. But if we were

in a different kind of reality, we would deal with it. Like I don't, I can't call us exclusive. I can't set boundaries. I can ask him not to bring someone home to my house because that, that's like, it's my space and I don't want to, you know, to hurt that. But, but, like, I can't tell him what to do what. Like, I know these couples are like, oh, you can fuck other girls, but you can't go down on them or you can't, like, meet in public. And I can't just, when someone sets a boundary on me, like, says, please don't, like, don't do this. It, it turns me off. I'm like, you know what, if I can't be myself completely and see where things go, I don't want it at all. Right, but I'm just saying, but I get who you are.

I get who you are, okay? It's very obvious. You're a free spirit and you can't have that lockdown thing. Do you have claustophobia like I do? Because I get that. But let me just say this. This guy, like, you know, you have to give him that same freedom. Like, what if he meets a girl and he does want a fuck her two times in a week?

You just, like, said a whole bunch of things. Well, like, he could have a girl, but like he's not going to see her. more than once a week and I don't want him to do this and that like I mean you got to give him total freedom too so like you know and that's what it's about and what ends up happening and this is why I'm always like why didn't I ask that person like why are you even bothering with us it sounds like so much conversation what it turns out to be is that you just have to be like talking about your relationship and everything and navigating it like on a daily basis it becomes a real uh it becomes a lot of work and I think some people are just wired to be like into that because like eventually when you guys do

have the time to go out and have relationships with other people you're both kind of jealous. You both, though, need the freedom. So what you wind up doing is just like talking about the jealousy every fucking day until it maybe goes around away and then creating rules as you go, like you saw her too much and then get upset, but then you get through it. And that's what these poly people do. I don't understand it. I think it's like life's too short. It's fucking exhausting, gives me a headache. But I think some people are just wired to be into having things be that confusing. Yeah. It's so confusing. Talking about that. Let me just say, let me just say, one more thing.

Of course. I love mental challenges. I love personal growth. And everything that has to do with like becoming a better person, becoming a better version of myself, dealing with mental and emotional challenges. It's like I live for that. Because if I didn't have that drama,

my life would be so fucking boring. Like, No, I get, listen, I'm wired like you. And I had so many fucked up relationships. that I think when I was younger, I was this confusing Polly, too, as you are, okay, because I had all kinds of relationships except a normal one, you know? And I think it was because anything else would have just bored me to tears. I used to have this like therapist that used to go to and she'd be like, oh, I can't imagine the guy that is going to like keep you interested in for any amount of time. Like, and you know, so many. Yeah. And I got to tell you so many millions of years after she said that to me when I was your age, like it's still the same fucking thing. You don't mean? Like it's like, so I get it. You are. and, you know, I think that's what I like about you and I could tell, you know, you're so interesting to me because you are, you have so many different levels and stuff. And when you are like that kind of person, you do need all that stuff. And I think then maybe you're right. Like, you know,

Polly is perfect for those kinds of people. And I think that's the kind of people that get into it. Same with BDSM. I think BDSM attracts a certain kind of like mental person that likes the mental, you know, because it's very intense, you know. I don't think dumdums are very into BDSM. And I might have to like edit that out because I, I tend to think that people that are into BDSM are of a higher IQ. For some reason, that's what I notice. And I think it is about keeping... They're higher IQ or lower?

No, higher. Higher, for sure. Higher. I don't think... I think people who are polyamorous also have to be... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

I think it falls in line with that same thing that I noticed, you know, especially because I talk to a lot of people and the people that I'm talking that are poly... You know, like very intellectual, you know, like very smart. And I just think that typically when I'm talking to someone that's into BDSM are probably, they're also, I could tell, a person with a high IQ, they're also higher IQ, you know. And I think when you're a higher IQ, you need more to keep you fucking interested. Sorry, like that saying, ignorance is bliss is there for a reason, you know.

It's easier to be done. Oh, you're so right. You're so right. You know, unfortunately. Right. Oh, my God. Sometimes I tell my partner, like, I wish that I can just be attracted to a guy because he looks good.

And because he's, you know, he's cute. I wish that that was enough. me to wet my panties. Like, oh my God, I would have so much fun. I have so many fantasies that I still want to, like, that I want to do. And I'm still really kinky, but like, because I need so much mental stimulation. And I, and I myself, like, I'm, I am relatively an impressive girl. I have a buttload of experience and things that, like, people are like, what, you're 27?

I know, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah, totally. You sound, you have an older sounding voice, even. Eight year old. Yeah. And even with our dynamic, I'm the more mature one. Yeah, I'm the more mature. I'm the more successful one.

No, I believe it. No, I mean, so I think all my whole, everything I was saying about Polly is it's actually perfect for you in the way that you're wired. And, you know, you have a guy that's right there. I can't believe it said that. Yeah, you have a guy that's right there with you into it. What are your fantasies to live out with this guy that you want to do in the future? What's on your fuck it list?

I knew that. I knew you that. Fuck, it listens to my last question. I have a fantasy. I have a fantasy to do it, to be part of a gang thing. First of all, like, classic. I have a fantasy to have to be with a few guys at the same time and really push my limits.

But I can never, ever actually do it. I can't. Because I am so dominant in my day-to-day life. For me to let go in bed completely, oh, my God. It's, like, almost impossible. For me to completely, completely let go and let someone else like take control. Right.

I mean, you do it with your guy, but it's, you could do it with your guy, but like what are the odds you're going to have like eight random guys that you feel that same way with is what you're saying, right? Exactly. Exactly. I can't even find one guy who I can do, you know, BDSM with who I can be who who can be my Dawn because I have to, I have to feel that this guy I can trust him and he is more experienced than me and he's more something than me. and like even something you can that you can write on paper like you have more this more that more that okay you can be my I have not

met a guy that I can look up to in that way and it and it pisses me off because I'm missing out missing out on a lot of fun because I can't let go right but you are having fun with this guy now right now right like I mean yeah do you feel like something's missing in your life

right now like maybe you're thinking too much of like oh you know the future Because like right now, are you fulfilled with what you have with this guy? Yeah. Right now I'm good. And I'm a very practical girl. Like right now, I'm not on any apps. I'm not really looking, but the thought is in the back of my head.

And I know that this is something that I can't just put to sleep. It's going to come back and haunt me. And so, like, it's on a low burner, but I am still looking, you know, and keeping my eyes open for someone who I can. do different things with. Because my partner at the moment, our sex is very kinky and amazing, but

it doesn't fulfill another part of me who really wants to let go. You know who they say, like these CEOs, they want to just be tied up and whipped. I feel like I just in bed sometimes,

not always, but sometimes I just want to let go. And so maybe one day all needs someone like that. In the meantime, I'm not, I'm not complaining. Right. Okay, well, listen, you know, you've taken me for a ride. It's a very layered your whole story. I can't wait to, listen, you're so young. I can't wait to talk to you a year or two years from now and see what the fuck is going on. You've kind of been there, done that a lot now, and you're still ever changing and ever curious. You're very curious person. And what I love about you is, like,

you're not just like curious. You will go out and like, you know, you, you, you live. You, you live it like right like you think oh i wonder what uh fucking swingers lord you would be like and you go and have one you know what i mean like you actually like you're living your fucking life and i love that so keep me posted okay i'm gonna give you free access to my patreon so you can see comments i'll give you free access to my discord for sure over there if you want to send me anonymous picks for my patreon on my discord you could do that just anonymous picks most girls send them in but like for me it's like i always say r rated stuff you could do whatever you want on discord but for Patreon. It's R-rated. But send me that sooner than later, just so I have it, and I know for sure

that I got your stuff. And thank you so much for calling in. I, like, I could have probably talked to you for another hour. Right. You got to set the limit someplace. Yeah, I talk for an hour. It was really nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah. No, this was like super fun. Like I said, I feel like I could have talked to you for a lot longer and got more stories. I think I harped a little bit on the Polly thing, but I think some people listening are right there with me. And I think what was interesting about the whole Polly situation is we kind of came to the conclusion that it is really perfect for you even though I was like what the fuck you know what I mean so it's kind of like we got a resolution to that whole thing or at least I did I don't know I now I realize why people bother because I told you like

I sometimes think I always want to say like what the fuck are you wasting your time for all this like it's so difficult but now I kind of get it so I think this was fun yeah yeah it was great for me too great realization yeah yeah I love it so wait till you hear but anyway thank you so I am looking for it. I'm looking for it. Thank you so much for calling in. This was great. Good luck with everything. Have a good weekend. You too. Bye. Thanks. You too. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories.

And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right?

But these are true stories. 17 of them, they're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or

pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audio book,

the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.