Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1216 - Great Sex After a Mastectomy w/ Breast Cancer Survivor Amy Rowan

Episode Date: September 6, 2025

⁠⁠⁠Amy Rowan called in to talk all about how she had great sex after her mastectomy and how it was even better sex then before her mastectomy. Tune in to hear all the details including how she found out she had breast cancer, the type she had and how and why she decided to have a double mastectomy, the type of surgery she had and how she felt afterwards, how and why she started looking into how her sex life would be impacted and why it was important to her to hold on to it, the first time she had sex afterward her surgery and how it went down, how and why her and her husband decided to get creative in he bedroom, how getting creative wound up not only bringing them closer but also led to them having a better sex life then before her cancer diagnosis, how her her husband responded to her diagnosis and felt about her body,  how she now helps breast cancer survivors with intimacy, why she felt weird at first charging for helping people but why she still does it, how getting a a mastectomy changed her life for the better plus a whole lot more.  You can find Amy here: https://thesuburbansexologist.com **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2528-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://viia.co/STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Try VIIA and use code STRICTLYANON for great SEX and sleep ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And all the links to everything, like I said, is in the description. The last time I'm going to tell you about is I do have a great deal with SDC.com. They're my favorite adult dating site, and they offer my listeners a three-day free trial. What's great about them is you can not only meet people there to hook up with.

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She's a certified sexologist, sex educator, and sex coach. But really what she is and what we talk about mostly here is a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was just 38 years old and went through a double mastectomy. And it was very important through that process. for her to continue being intimate with her husband and not lose that part of herself, of feeling sexy and into it. She was like on a mission when you hear her story to like really not give up that part of herself and make sure that she stayed connected in that way, not only for herself, but also with her husband. And she's here to say that through doing that, that her and her husband have better sex now because of it. I mean, they had to think a little bit out of the box

at certain times. And that led them to like all kinds of. of like kinky things and now things are better than ever and she now helps women who are going through that stay in touch with that part of themselves and when I say that part of themselves like they're sexy side the part of them that feels sexy and hot and wants to have sex with their guy and can have orgasms like I said that was very important for her she was able to keep in touch with that part of herself she's got a great story it could be your story too I love her story I was excited for her to come on because there's a lot of breast cancer in my family. I went through it with my sister. So I know the process and I love that she actually helps women through the process

now as a certified sexologist. I will put information, all the information on how to contact her in the description. But anyway, you're going to love her story. I think she's super inspiring and I love that she's helping others now. So I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Amy Rowan. Hi, Amy Rowan. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm doing wonderful. Thank you for having me. No, thanks for calling in. I was so excited when you emailed me about what you wanted to talk about on my show because I've only touched on it once. But first I want to introduce you and then I'll get to the short story and then you're going to tell me your whole story. But you are Amy Rowan. You are a certified sex education, sexologist, sex educated and educator and sex coach.

I tried to get that down before we got on the phone and I still find that. But that's what you are. And you also are a co-host of a podcast. You have a podcast called Sensational Sex Podcast, so people could go check that out. And you're the co-host. Like it's you and another woman, right? Is she a sexologist too? Yeah, she's also a sexologist, Dr. Trina Reed. Okay, cool.

Absolutely amazing. And what do you guys talk about there? So if people want, like, more educational stuff? Yeah, the focus of our podcast is we help women in long-term relationships thrive after the honeymoon stage is over. So it's primarily geared towards couples and long-term relationships that are experiencing, you know, any number of different intimacy challenges. And we kind of take a common intimacy challenge that, you know, people in long-term relationships are facing. We break it down. And then we give two or three little micro tips, you know, throughout the episode. And if you listen week after week and come back,

then and apply the tips that we're giving, then your sex life will transform. Yeah. They'll be fully educated after a bunch of episodes, right? A little bit in each one. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. They take it in. You're not giving it all at once, which I think is smart. Because sometimes it's like, you know, too much and one thing to take in. But what we're going to be. But what we're going to be, talking about today is your journey. You did at a certain point. And you were young. You were 38. You were diagnosed with stage zero breast cancer, but you did have a double mastectomy. And we are going to talk about like intimacy through that diagnosis after the mastectomy. So, you know, I don't know where you want to start with that story. But I had one girl on and she was like a swing or her guy, you know,

and she was a young girl too. And she was diagnosed. And when she called me, she was like just in the expander phase of her mastectomy. But she was like out and proud and navigating it. And it was very important for her to sort of stay in touch and feel sexy through that process. And I thought, oh my God, I could do a whole fucking episode on this, you know, but we were getting like their whole story. And she wasn't sort of at the end or past it, you know, but what I love about you

is that you've been there, done that. And you could tell me your whole journey. Yeah, I can very much relate to that other guest and just. wanting to still feel like, you know, myself and be able to reconnect with myself as a woman and as an intimate being. But yeah, you know, my story starts, you know, like you said, I was 38 years old. I had no family history of breast cancer. No one of my family had had it. I mean, it was just not remotely on my radar in any way of shape or form, but I found a lump up in my chest wall. It actually was not in my breast. Oh, wow. So, and so that was interesting. And

You know, and I remember just kind of feeling it and wondering. And I remember asking my husband and my friends to feel it. And if I was like, I'm just going to go to the doctor. The doctor felt it. She was like, she's like, I felt lots of breast cancer lumps. I'm not worried about this one. But I'm going to go ahead and just send you for a mammogram just to just go ahead and rule it out. Yeah, just in case.

You're almost 40. We'll get a baseline. We'll get your baseline a little bit early. And I was like, okay, sure. Sounds great. You know, thought nothing of it that morning. I tell my husband. And I'm like, oh, by the way, I'm going to go have a mammogram today.

He's like, okay, go have a mammogram. Like, it was just a normal day. And then as I went in there and, you know, first the radio or the assistant was kind of joking around with me. And then they just kept coming back and taking more images and more images. And then getting quieter. And then they started asking questions like, have I had discharged for my nipples? You know, and all these things. My youngest child, you know, I have three kids.

they were three, six, and nine at the time, so I hadn't breastfed in a while. And, you know, anyway, I could tell, I could tell that something was wrong. And then they brought me back to see the radiologist. And they said, you know, it looks like you have something called ductal carcinoma in C2, which is stage zero breast cancer. And I'd never even heard of stage zero breast cancer. I didn't even know that that existed. And, you know, immediately sent me for biopsy and everything to confirm.

But, you know, I looked through my radiology report. I was by RADs 5, which basically meant I had a 95% chance of malignancy. So I knew kind of going into it that this probably wasn't going to be good. And yeah, found out that I had stage zero. What's interesting and what I want to highlight, especially for your listeners, because the lump that I found was actually not cancer. It was thickened breast tissue, which is very occasionally a symptom. Yeah, like it stands near.

It's like a thing that is near cancer typically, is what you're saying, right? Yeah, exactly. And if I hadn't paid attention to that, I would not have found my cancer when I did. And it turns out that it was triple negative. It was very aggressive, stage type three with commuter necrosis. And it was just, and it was riddled throughout my right breast. But they said, you know, if I had. The stage zero was all over?

You mean they found more of the stage zero all over? So stage zero means that it is still contained within milk ducts. So mine was like just all over my right milk ducts. My right breast milk ducts were just full of it. And they said if I had waited even six months longer, much less two years when I would have possibly had my first mammogram. I could have been in a very, very different situation than what I was lucky enough to have experienced. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Because there is a big difference of when you catch it, whether you could keep your nipples or not keep your neck like those different reasons why it's you know you want to keep you catch it earlier and not just for the obvious ones and I'm just going to preface this by just saying that because I had a lot of breast cancer and my family my sister and all of my first cousins on one side of the family we never have there's no gene but they suspect that there might be one that they haven't found yet because it's so prevalent because it's premenopausal like when you see the cancer like premenopausal like you at 38 or my sister my cousin all my cousins before they tend to think oh me you know what you know what What is that? Because that's typically not when it happens. It typically happens over. That's why they have women not doing it. But I've been poked and proud of had every fucking kind of biopsy you could ever imagine. The waiting for it. The feeling the lumps. I used to be like you ask any of my friends, they've all touched my breasts because I'd be like, I would be freaking out in my head waiting because I felt another one. I'd be like, come in the bathroom with me. Could you feel it? What do you think? Blah, blah, blah. And it was always cis and I was never diagnosed with anything. But it was, it's a fucking nightmare. You know, and like,

For you, it was like that one time out of nowhere. I can't even imagine. And, you know, it was funny because I was always paranoid about my breast because they were very highly cystic and I got a lot of biopsies. My sister never had anything. And she was like you going into her mammogram. She didn't even think it was a possibility. She never thought twice about it.

I was the hypochondriac always worrying, you know? And she wound up being thrown like you and had it, you know? And I'm just going to say her story because this is important because some people don't get like a mastectomy. Like when she did all the tests and the MRI and everything and they just found this one lump and they told her to get a lumpectomy and she did that. And then when they did the sections, they said, oh, let's go. One board said this and she didn't trust them. So she went back and she wound up, long story short, getting a full mastectomy.

And do you know that there was more cancer in there that no one saw? So imagine she would have listened to that first board and just got the lumpectomy. They were like swore that that that's all she needed. They got it. They took it out. but she didn't listen. She felt like she should just do the whole thing. And she did.

And there was a whole other lump that they never saw in the MRI, all the testing. So it is a, you know, a lot of people don't opt for that. And I would never tell someone what to do. You know what I mean? But like you were stage zero. Like how did your doctors talk about the mastectomy for you? Because sometimes they don't even recommend it, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Now, when I went in for my first appointment, you know, after my diagnosis, I was very great. you know, my, the radiologist, oncologist, breast surgeon, and psychiatrist had all been sitting in a room for 30 minutes discussing my case. And so it was really nice to have all of the right people in the room at the same time. But, you know, because it was so extensive throughout my right breast, there was, there was no question that I was going to have a mastectomy. Oh, okay. Right. They said there's no, there's no option there, you know, that's what's going to happen. Your choice is if you would like to have double mastectomy or not. And, you know, at the time, it felt like a very hard. decision because, you know, I'm going to lose both of my breasts. But because of my age of diagnosis and because of the type and all of that, they said that I had up to a 60% risk of recurrence on the other side. And so that kind of made it a no-brainer.

And that's not to say that I wasn't incredibly angry and terrified in all of those things because I absolutely was. But I was like, you know, I'm done having children. You know, I can get them reconstructed. It's much easier to reconstruct them the same way. And they offered me a type of surgery called a tram flap surgery, which they sort of said that this is like, this is kind of like getting a tummy tuck. It's a little more extensive than that.

Right. But, you know, I did sort of get a bit of a mommy makeover, if you will. And so, you know, I had the tram flap and then they did go in and eventually put in, you know, small implants as well. And, you know, after my post-baby body and my post-nursing breasts that were, you know, very much aimed towards the ground, you know, my new body that came out of it was really, was really fantastic. And I am grateful for that. So when I have better sex and be more confident in the bedroom every single time you get down and dirty, well, then you need to try Blue Chew. Blue Chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sacks.

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Bit of a mommy makeover, if you will. And so, you know, I had the tram flap and then they did go in and eventually put in, you know, small implants as well. And, you know, after my post baby body and my post nursing breasts that were, you know, very much aimed towards the ground, you know, the, you know, My new body that came out of it was really, was really fantastic. And I am grateful for that. Yeah, but I love that because I think that people have a misconception that, like, they can't look good after mastectomy, that they look really odd or not normal. You know, I remember when the girl that was on my show was on and she talked about how even,

like, you know, she was looking forward to having the breast implants. Her breasts weren't the same after childbirth or whatever, you know. and she was really hopeful that they would look great. And I think that people sometimes don't think that that's a possibility. But I love that you're here to say that you had the surgery and it looks great. And I think that's the real deal. Like that can be your story too. Yeah.

No, my body looks 20 times better than a dead pre mastectomy. And I didn't get to keep my nipples. Unfortunately, it was too close. So I didn't get to keep those. but I did get the 3D nipple tattoos. And unless you are incredibly close to my body, you would not know that I didn't have real nipples. They look so realistic.

Is that amazing? Yeah. Like, I'm obsessed with them. I love them. Yeah. All right. So walk me through like you get that diagnosis, right? And we're going to like tie it into like intimacy and like what's happened,

what winds up happening with your sex life, with your husband. You know, I mean, you guys are a young couple. Mm-hmm. At that time. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, we got the diagnosis. And, you know, then you're just thrust into this world of just decisions and appointments and all of this stuff. And, you know, it was basically five weeks from diagnosis to double mastectomy. So it happened fairly quickly. That is fast.

But, you know, within all that and related to intimacy, I was not a sexologist yet, but I, I had been selling sex toys for many years. I've been doing, you know, those types of parties and, you know, I was top of the company and stuff like that. So I was certainly in that world already. Yeah. But, you know, I do remember at one point Googling, like, what is sex after mastectomy going to look like, you know, as if Google could tell me, right? Yeah. Because I just didn't know. I didn't know if I was going to have feeling.

I knew I was losing my nipples, but I didn't know, like, I just had no idea. I had, plus with a tram flap surgery, you know, that's a major abdominal surgery. They cut you from hip to hip. And so I knew that there was going to be some impact on my pelvis. And, you know, they're rerouting your muscles and your blood flow. And of course, blood flow is critical to arousal. And so I was genuinely concerned that I may not be able to have an orgasm anymore. I just did not know.

And it's so interesting that you were curious about this, you know, which I love, you know, because now you're the person that could give that information and people go Googling now. maybe they find you, you know? Yes, completely. And, you know, and, you know, to be clear, there were many, many things on my mind, but that was one of them. Yeah. And I think it's the part that just really isn't talked about because you go, and I know,

because women talk to me about this, so I know women and men, for that matter, go and they ask their doctors about intimacy. And the doctors just don't know. They don't have answers for them because it's not their area of expertise. Totally. And there's a little bit of a, hey, you know, you're going to live, like, just be grateful for that. Yeah, no one's thinking about that for you.

But I mean, but it's a part of it. And I think maybe some people don't even go there because they're so caught up and everything else because it's so overwhelming. But I think that it is something to think about. Yeah, it is. And, you know, specifically one thing that I remember before the mastectomy, I remember, it was probably within the few nights before my surgery. like trying, I wanted to try to be intimate with my husband.

I wanted to try to have sex and I just, I, and this had never happened to me before, but I just could, like, I just, I just burst into tears. I was like, my body is failing me. Like, I just, I just, I just felt. You're a little bit of a glut for punishment. The day before your surgery, you're pushing yourself to have an orgasm have you have a well, I just didn't, you know, I was like, what if this is the last orgasm and I ever get it? Oh, yeah, no, I know.

I know. I didn't know. It says a lot about how hardcore you are. I like it, actually. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, and that was, again, just all of those, you know, concerns and things like that. And then afterwards. So, you know, then I had the double mastectomy and I had the tram flap, which is, again, huge, huge, you know, 12 week long recovery. Just very, very difficult recovery. And tell people how long that surgery is. Yeah. Oh, I think I was under for about nine hours. Yeah. It's very long. One of my cousins had that kind of surgery. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's, it's long. It's big. And, you know, honestly, the, the mastectomy part of it is, like,

the more minor part of it. The abdominal and the moving of the muscles around and all that stuff was much more significant. But, you know, after that, you know, you wake up and you come home and, you know, my husband, who, thank goodness, is a wonderful, wonderful nurse. But, you know, he's, he's, I can't lift my arms. I can't wash my hair. I can't, you know, I have six strains in my body. you know, there's nothing remotely attractive or sexual about any of this. And, you know, then I finally look and see what I look like. And I have no nipples. I have sort of these big huge white patches of skin where my nipples used to be.

It kind of looked like Barbie. There were Barbie boobs. I called them zombie boobs. Oh, yeah. So, and then, of course, I really just didn't have any feeling at all my entire chest, basically from top to bottom, I had no feeling at all for a long time. It did eventually start to come back in different ways. Because of the surgery you had, because they connect, they reconnect the nerves and everything. That's the difference between that surgery and not having them,

just having a regular mastectomy, correct? Yeah, yeah. They use that they, so the, if you imagine like a baked potato, how you scoop out the meat of the potato and leave the skin, that's kind of what the first surgery was. They scooped out all of the tissue left my, skin. So I was skin sparing and then they took my ab muscles and used those to fill my breasts. Yeah. So that's what kind of refilled my breasts. And then I got implants for the second surgery. It was a series of four surgeries over two years. Okay. There's a lot of different options. I think my cousin got a different one where they take the nerves and they put them back or, uh, she might have had a deep flap. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other one. There's a lot of different ways to do it.

This one's interesting. So they take the muscle. So that gives you like, uh, like it gives you more of a padding in there, right? Like instead of using something else? Yeah, I think, you know, they take this, it's an older surgery. Like deep flap one is the newer version of it. And I just, apparently, I wasn't eligible for it because my, my blood vessels weren't strong enough for something. I don't know. But, but yeah, this one, it's, yeah, I mean, it refilled, you know, the downside is it permanently compromises your core because I, they've literally cut two of my ab muscles. So like, I can never do a sit up ever again. Oh, wow. That's, I just don't. That's like I wouldn't even think of that.

So they take it out. You don't have any ab muscles or like half of them? They so I think we have, oh, I'm not a doctor. And it was the top two ab muscles. I think we have six ab muscles. Okay. It was the top. So I still have like my middle and bottom, but I don't have the top ones.

Right. Those are the ones like, again, I can't, I can't ever do a setup ever again. Yeah. You know, and you know, I've adapted. I'm on ways to get around. Of course. But yeah. Yeah, so.

Okay, so you're at the surgery, your guy's like helping you out as much as possible. He's a great guy, right? He's right there with you. Yeah. And, you know, but at some point, you know, in all of this, like, I think this relates a little bit to the story you told in the beginning. Like, I just, I wanted to know if my body still worked. Like, I really, that was, that was, you know, in, in all of this, I was just like, does my

body still work? Like, is, is what, what can I do? you know, what is there? Like, who am I as a woman? You know, self-confidence and all those things. And, you know, I think a lot of people out of fear avoid, you know, avoid intimacy, avoid touch, avoid initiating any of that. But, you know, for me, I think I was maybe two or three weeks. I think maybe I'd just gotten drained out.

And I remember looking at James and I was like, I want to try. Like, I just need to know. Yeah. Yeah. What is the same girl that wanted to try. What is left? So with the same girl that wanted to try the day before, the minute she can, she wants to try it. So you.

Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. And, you know, and of course, he was completely supportive and up for it. And, you know, it was, we put a bunch of pillows around and it was very slow and very careful. And, you know, I'm sure it was, I'm sure it was very cathartic. but you know but I learned that my body still works and that was very reassuring for me just knowing that

I was still me like I was more than just this beatered and this beaten and like battered body that had just been rearranged and felt like Frankenstein at that point because you still felt like a sexual being because that is a part of who we are as women yeah you know and yeah I think the scariest thing about that especially because like breasts are tied to a part of of your body that's very sexual a lot of women feel like and because you hear women that go through it like they feel like that that you know it's a big part taking being taken away and they're like losing their uh sense you know that part of themselves but it like you're here to say that like you did it like you were you know it was important for you to stay connected to that part and you did yeah yeah yeah absolutely mm-hmm yeah and you did it for everybody else to tell them it's possible which I

yeah yeah now and it was it was just And I think once I went through that experience and realized that things were okay, then a lot of that anxiety, you know, went down and reduced. And I mean, sure, there was still a lot of different things that were going on and additional surgeries. But just knowing that my body still worked, that, you know, yes, it was different. You know, I had different feelings. Like, I still have a lot of numbness, like in between my breasts and things like that. But what that sort of opened up is more creativity because things that may have worked before did not work as well or just had to change. And so we just had, we were forced to get a little bit more creative in the things that we did.

And I mean, I'm here to say, you don't need to wait to be forced to get more creative. And I mean, of course, this is what, you know, you and your audience is all about, which is amazing. so, but, you know, we were a very vanilla kind of couple. So this was, you know, really changed. This was something that forced you to be a little bit more like out of the box, which is kind of interesting. Okay, guys, let's talk about Jizz for a second. And I don't need to be a guy to know that men are into shooting big loads, right?

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All you got to do is go to the description, click on the link, Use My Code Anonymous and you're going to get 50% off your yearly pass. Use My Code Anonymous when you click on the link to get 50% off your yearly pass. I still have a lot of numbness like in between my breasts and things like that. But what that sort of opened up is more creativity because things that may have worked before. did not work as well or just had to change. And so we just had, we were forced to get a little bit more creative in the things that we did. And I mean, I'm here to say, you don't need to wait to be forced to get more creative. And I mean, of course, this is what, you know, you and your audience is all

about, which is amazing. So, but, you know, we were, we were a very vanilla kind of couple. So yeah, you know, really changed. This was something that forced you to be a little bit more like out of the box, which is kind of interesting. Yeah. And but, you know, through that process, it was really, it just really opened a lot of doors. It opened up a lot of doors for us as a couple and expanded a lot of the different things that we were doing sexually into different directions that I never would have imagined, you know, back pre all of that. And, and, you know, and ultimately, you know, it's been eight years now. And, I mean, our sex life is, it was already great, but it's even light years better than it was before. And it just really opened up all of that.

Yeah, yeah. And it's just fantastic. So. And now what would you say, I mean, like, what would you say to a woman like going through this if she's like, oh, I can't even go there right now? I feel so like not sexy or not hot. You know, like what would be your advice? My that is first of all that is all okay and I recognize that my journey and all of that is is probably different than a lot of others. Yes. But the really important part of that when you are in that space of I just can't right now. I just can't think about this. This is too much is maintaining non-sexual physical touch is really, really important. So holding hand, hugging, hugging, you know, just having intentional time where you're talking and communicating, letting your partner know.

Because I think the other thing that really happens in these types of situations is the partner's afraid to ask or bring anything up because they don't know what to say. They don't want to upset you. They don't want to apply pressure or anything like that. You know, the person who's going through the experience also may not know what to say or do. And it's sometimes in that it's just easier to be silent. That's the easy choice. But that's really only the wrong thing. That's the only thing that you can really do wrong. And so just addressing, like, I still really love you. I'm not up for anything physical right now, but I just want to let you know that I'm looking forward to the time that I will be. But can we please just, you know, hold hands on the couch or can you give me a back rub? Because especially people in long-term cancer treatment, again, I was lucky. Mine was one and done. I didn't have to go through radiation and chemo because of, when I caught it, but so many people in longer-term treatment are only experiencing medical touch. It's just doctors and nurses poking and prodding at them. And, you know, if they were treated from their partner or their partners were treated from

them, all they're not getting that really important touch, which gives oxytocin, which is the trust-love bond hormone. And that is the antidote to stress and it's the antidote to cortisol. And so for the person who's like, this is just not. not on my radar right now. That is completely and totally fine. But just share that with your partner. Be honest with yourself and find other intentional ways to connect until you get to a place where intimacy may be back on the table. And then the other thing that I would also share is intimacy does not have to mean intercourse. So there are still lots of other things that can be explored and done

without intercourse if intercourse needs to be off the table for some period of time, which often it does. It may become painful, but there's lots of other fun things that can be done with hands and, like, hands and tongues and fingers and toys and other things. And so there's, there's other ways to stay connected, you know, outside of sort of the traditional, you know, penis and vagina. Yeah, I definitely want to get to the point where, you know, somehow this leads to you. I don't know if it does, but, like, you know, you are not a sexologist at this point yet. So we got to get to, like, that part of your story. But. Quick question, like how long, like say a woman is just like not into her body in the beginning because it's going through the changes.

She has expanders or she hasn't got her nipples yet or anything. Like how long did it take if you remember like to get your body to a place where it was like how it looked was like where you were? You don't mean like the process of getting to the point where it was all done and everything. I mean, mine was, I had four surgeries over two years and then I think I waited maybe a year and a half to get my tattoos. And for me, the tattoos, that was it. That was the, that was like the big game changer for me because when I would get out of the shower, I would look in the mirror and I looked whole again.

I looked quote unquote normal, whatever that means. Yeah, yeah. You know, after two years, after three years, I didn't, I had the luxury of not, I didn't think about it too much anymore. Like, it wasn't like something that was occupying my day and my time. But every time I would get out of the shower, every time I'd be naked in the mirror, I would still be staring at these zombie boobs. And that would always, that would always, you know, put me right back into, oh yeah, oh yeah, that happened to me. Sure. If that happened to me, I'm past it, I'm good, you know, and I have, again, I'm so grateful.

And I 100% have the luxury and privilege of saying that I was okay. But for me, it was when I got those tattoos. I remember getting home and just looking and I was like, oh my gosh, I look, I look normal again. I look. And not only do I look normal, like I look fucking great, frankly. So I was very, very happy. And that was a huge turning point for me. And those, could you explain that process?

Like it's a tattoo, right? But you're saying it's like 3D in the sense that it makes it look 3D or do they pinch the skin to make it like the skin to be the nipple make it 3D like how do they do it? So 3D means it is so it's a flat tattoo but the way that the artist does it like she has the little bumps and you know it it genuinely looks again unless you got super close to my breast you would not know that it was not a real nipple there is an option and this is actually part of the conversation that James and I had my husband and I had where they can reconstruct a nipple and that would be a 4D tattoo.

And my plastic surgeon offered that to me and he said, you know, I can, you know, take sort of a flap of skin and I can create a nipple for you and then you can get tattoos around it. And I, you know, I really thought about that and I said, well, is it going to have any feeling? And he said, no, you know, it's just more for aesthetics. And so I thought about that for a little while. And then I went to James and I was like, do you need to feel a nipple? Yeah. Like it's not going to do anything for me.

but if when we are having sex, if feeling a nipple, seeing a realistic looking nipple is something that is important and arousing for you, then I'm happy to do that. But, you know, but if not, I kind of am cool with like not having to deal with headlights, you know. Yeah, totally. That's smart. And they're not going to go down, right? I mean, you know, they're always there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, they don't go down. They don't respond, you know, anything like that. And James, and he said, if it's not going to do anything for you, it's not going to do anything for me. So, you know, you don't need to do it for me. So I was like, okay, great, no, no nipple reconstruction for me. And again, that was our choice. That was the back and forth that we had there. And I know a lot of women who've chosen to do the nipple reconstruction,

and they've been very, very happy with it. So, you know, I think what's nice and what's important is for anyone who's going through this to can have those conversations, ask the questions, you know, of yourself, of your intimate partner, you know, to help make the decisions. And I know a lot of things when I was trying to decide exactly what to do, I was asking James. And he would not give me an opinion, which drove me crazy. But I could see why a guy would be so fucking nervous that he's going to say the wrong thing. Don't you think?

Yeah. Oh, completely. And he just said, he also knows I'm a verbal processor. So he just said, I wanted you to come to the right answer for you. And he's like, and I knew you would. So I wasn't going to influence your decision with my opinions because he's like, also I wouldn't. want you to make a decision based on my opinion and then, you know, five years down the line, like really regret it and be resentful, you know, about it. And I said, you know, that's valid.

So, but, you know, that was sort of that journey towards, you know, my body feeling, you know, normal again. But again, it was about three and a half years. So it was a while. Yeah. But when you look back, because I like think about the time when my sister went through it and, you know, because I was like very close with her and I went to all of her appointments and like to get her wig. she did chemo, you know, we were just talking last night that she was like, oh my God, it's like 16 years ago. You know, she can't even believe it. And I'm like now it feels like a, like a blip in her life. You know, at the time, it feels like so overwhelming. And it's like, this is all your life is and whatever. But 16 years later, we don't even think about it anymore.

It's like crazy, right? When you look back, probably even now for you looking back. Yeah. You know, it's just a distant nightmare at this point. And, you know, really, the only time it comes to play is actually, and I just had another friend who was diagnosed yesterday. So, you know, now every year I seem to have, you know, more and more people in my life that are diagnosed. I was the first person, you know, that I knew of my age to be diagnosed at 38, but, you know, now I'm, you know, 47. So, you know, more and more people. So, but I just try to be that, that resource and that beacon of hope and just the person to listen when you're going through that, because it is, it's just a really scary, confusing time. But for me, yeah, it's just a nightmare. It's something, it's just something

that I kind of put away in a box and I pull it out when I need to. But I will say especially as in my role as a sexologist, and now that I can do this and transferred into this part of my career, I am certainly feeling very called to helping breast cancer survivors with intimacy and regaining their confidence and learning how to experience pleasure and have the conversations that are necessary because again it's just not a typical part of the process for for most people yeah like I said I don't think most women even go there you obviously like I said were that type that did and it was very important to you so you are the perfect person to go and help people because you know if they can't do it for themselves it's great to know that there's somebody like you out there that

can help them through that process quick question like if I was talking to your husband You know, like what was his journey and, you know, through this whole experience? Even intimately, like I'm assuming you guys had a lot of conversations. Like what was his take on things? Was it just he just always referred to you? Yeah. He's wonderful. I love him.

I, you know, first and foremost, his concern was obviously that I was going to be okay. Yeah. And just really taking care of, you know, he was thrust into. being full-time nurse, full-time dad. Thankfully, we had, you know, family nearby to help and things like that. But, you know, all of that, I think mostly he just, he was just kind of there for me in whatever way that I needed and whatever day it was. Sometimes it was that I was completely and totally losing my shit.

I remember while waiting for, maybe he was waiting for the official word, like I just started baking kishes. And I, first of all, I never baked kishas before ever. And I baked like maybe 20 kishers. and I was like, buy more eggs, buy more pie crust. He's like, okay. And I just baked and baked and baked and baked. And then I tasted them and they tasted awful, probably because they were full of hate and

stress. And I threw them away. But, you know, he just, he just listened and he was there. And I'm, again, I just remember, especially like him giving me that first shower when I was allowed to take a shower. And I couldn't lift my arms and I could barely move. And we pulled a patio chair. And he's just rinsing me off.

And I just remember feeling. so just gross and not sexy and just beaten down and just like, is this man ever going to like look at me as a sexy woman ever again? Like I remember thinking that somewhere in there. And he just rolled with it. And it just he just followed my lead and rolled with it and just took wonderful care of me. And then as I was ready, he was open to going wherever I wanted to go. And yeah, I was just wondering like would he have been nervous.

You know what I mean? Like I want, you know, would he, was he like a little nervous maybe or, but I guess you really were pushing for it. So like, why wouldn't he be like right on board? Yeah, yeah. I'm sure he was nervous. And actually, you know, one one anecdote that I like to share because, you know, I, I, I know I said earlier, like I didn't have a lot of feeling in my chest.

And then as feeling started coming back, it was very weird because since my skin had been pulled and stressed, stretched, and my body had been, you know, really sort of relocated. Like, for example, if I would rub my fingers in between my chest, like, I feel sensation, like on the left side underneath my shoulder. Yeah, interesting. Weird things like that. Yeah. And I told James at some point, I think that it felt weird.

Like, maybe he was touching my chest, and I told him, this kind of felt weird. So he stopped. So he stopped touching my chest completely for a while. And then I remember starting to think, well, maybe he doesn't, you know, like my new breasts or maybe he doesn't think it's attractive or, you know, getting all in my head about all of that. And finally, finally, I brought it up to him. And I said, you know, I'm curious, why don't you ever touch my chest anymore? And he said, well, you told me it felt weird. So I didn't, I didn't want you to feel weird. So that's why I stopped touching your chest. And I was like, oh, well, no, you can touch it now. It's okay. I would like for you to touch it. Like, I feel like when you are. touching it, I feel like it's that you aren't, you know, attracted to me or aroused by it. He's like, oh, no, that's not it at all. I just don't want you to feel weird. You know. So it's just communication. Yeah. And it was just such a simple moment. But I think it illustrates how we can get in our head and make assumptions about things. And if you just ask the question, if you just bring it up and have the conversation, you may, you'll realize that it's, it probably something very different than what you might be. thinking and what you might be worried about. So yeah, I mean, that's why. I mean, you sound like you were the one that really took charge and really talked about things like you said. You're the verbal processor, right? So, you know, you were

that one. So, you know, I think a lot of people, though, don't roll that way. So that's why it's so great that you could like maybe coach people through that and get people talking because you, you don't know what the other person's thinking, whether it's the man or the woman. You're both going through it together in different ways, you know? Yeah. Absolutely. So, okay, so how did this lead to you becoming a sexologist. Was it a part of the reason? Or was that just a side thing that happened over time because you were always into sex doing your sex toys and everything?

I don't know if it directly led to me being a sexologist. But when, you know, I have been doing the sex toy parties for many years. I was up in the top 3% of one of the direct sales companies. You know, it was, it was fantastic. And especially when my children were young, it was a lot of fun. And I was home with them during the week. and then I was able to go work on the weekend and all of that. But as they got older and once they were in school and once all other activities were happening on the weekends,

I didn't want to work as much on the weekends. I really wanted to start working during the week. And but I knew that my gifts, I knew that my talent was teaching people how to have, you know, better, more pleasurable sex. Every party that I did, women would come up to me afterwards and say, I've been to so many of these parties, but I've never learned. as much as I did add this one with you. And that just inspired me. And so then I went hunting.

I was like, I've got to find a way to, you know, move into the next phase of my career. And that's when I found my certification as a sex coach. And I completed that program. It was a 15-month program through Sex Coach University. And, you know, just kind of launched from there. And, but all of that actually was. inspired. We went away for a weekend for our anniversary. And this was post mastectomy. And James had planned all of a sudden he kind of leaned into this kinkier dominant side of him that I

never knew existed. And there was all these scenes and all of these different things. And it just kind of opened over our relationship in a new way. And that sent me looking. And I found a podcast actually, Kim Minami's podcast. And I was like that. What is she doing? I want to do that. How do I do that? And that was, I think that was really with that journey.

Okay. Now, did you start, did you, like this whole thing of also coaching women, you know, sort of getting in touch with and staying intimate through their breast cancer diagnosis? Like, did you, you know, include that in what you were doing immediately? Is that something you just started? I'm just wondering how many women you've helped through that process because I would think Yeah. If it's around and available, a lot of women, if they knew, would seek you out.

Yeah. Some of my earliest clients, and I would say probably about 25% of my clients have come to me specifically because they had breast cancer and they're looking for somebody to help them with that. You know, early on, as I was still finishing my certification, I hosted a really big virtual online summit. And I met a lot of just really incredible professionals that have been doing it for many years. years and and through that shared my story and through that people women started reaching out to me and

and I think that's one of the things that you know just just really sort of brought to the forefront that this is this is just a special gift that I have and leading into that side of it giving people that place to you know learn and feel understood so so yeah you know I think it all kind of came together and for a little while I think there was a little part of me that was pushing against that. Yeah, I could see why. You just want to go on with your life and put it in the past? I don't know.

You tell me. Yeah. Yeah. Or just, I don't know, sometimes it feels a little weird to me to like be profit, but it's not profiting. It's truly helping people.

Yeah. I know. And that was the switch that I had to make in my brain. And once I realized that, then it's kind of been, I haven't looked back because women and couples. And, you know, people need to learn and have a place to feel understood and recognize that I think some people just give up.

You know, they just say, well, it was already not great. It was already kind of hard. And now this has happened. And I don't know how to talk about this. And I don't know what to say. And, you know, this whole thing feels awkward and embarrassing. So I guess that part of our life is over. I think that happens more than it doesn't happen.

Yeah. I think so, too. And that makes me. Yeah, and for some people maybe that's, and if that's okay, that's fine. Yeah. But I think for most people, they're giving up just because they don't know what to do. Yeah. And that's not what needs to happen because there is just so much beauty and pleasure and connection and and fun, spicy sex that can happen on the other side of it.

It may have to look different than it did before, but different doesn't need bad or worse. Different just means different and different can't open up some really beautiful. roots to creativity and, you know, and as you and your audience knows, there's no limits to the amount of pleasure that you can experience once you're open to experiencing as much pleasure as you choose to have. Yeah. And your different was better, did wind up equaling better, right? You could look back and say it's better now than it was before, which is amazing.

Yeah. You know, who better to help people? I mean, don't you sometimes look back? I don't know what kind of conversations you have, you know, with these women that you help, but you're really like being, you know, sort of you're in a space with them that's like so major in their life that you're really helping them. Like it's like amazing what you're doing to me for me, you know, that I, that so I you don't you look back and think like, oh, like it was all worth it? Like maybe that's why it happened. So you could go out and help all these people.

It makes it make sense, no? Yeah. Yeah. I think you're absolutely right. And, you know, the world life. Things that you are just not going to expect. And that happens to everybody. But I think the other thing that I have seen over and over and over again,

you know, not only with myself, but just with so many women that I know and men for that matter. But, you know, I think we go through something difficult. We go through something challenging that changed our life. And so many people then turn that around and say, I want to help other people in a way that I wasn't helped. I want to be able to take this very awful, scary experience and use that. to be able to support others. And there is such a beauty in that.

Yeah, I think everything happens for a reason in a way. You know, I mean, I had a really bad upbringing, went through a lot of torturous things and stuff. But it made me the very non-judgmental, open person that I am, that people sit across from me and tell me their whole fucking life story, and they know I'm not judging them. So I look back and I don't have one fucking regret. I like my life was perfectly made for me to do exactly what I love doing, you know?

So I think it all makes sense, right? like you could look back now and be like, oh, you took one for the team or went through that, but now you're like sort of paying it forward in a way that's so amazing and really helping women. Like I said, in a time where, you know, I don't think people even realize that that could be a way that they could. Like that kind of help is available. Yeah. Yeah. I look back and my double mastectomy was the best, was one of the best decisions of my life up there with marrying my husband and having my children.

And I would say it would be like the fifth best decision of my life. And maybe the first because it's the one that has made sure that I'm still here for everything else. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. So how do people find you? Like if somebody found this episode because, you know, it's the title and they're going through this and that's why they're listening to it and they're like, oh my God. Because like I said, I don't think a lot of people even know that maybe there is a sexologist

out there that could help women with intimacy while they're going through, you know, breast cancer or whatever. Like how do people find you? Yeah, my website is suburbanintimacy.com. I own suburban intimacy. I'm also known as the suburban sexologist. So if you are going through this, if you want to connect, I do one-on-one talk-based coaching with women and couples on any number of different intimacy concerns or just enhancing pleasure. So if you'd like to connect with me, just come to my website and you can just book a call, book a complimentary call. And I'd love to learn about what is going on with you and what type of support you need. need and, you know, just share how I can help you on your journey towards whatever it is that you're looking for. And how are those calls run? Are they like Zoom?

Are they over the phone or whatever they want? Are they in person or all of the above depending? Zoom and in person. So I live in the Atlanta, Georgia area, a little bit north of Atlanta. So if you're local to me, I do have. We can meet in person, but also over Zoom. So either way. And typically, how long do you see a client that's coming to you for that?

Because it's not like a lifelong thing, right? It's not like they're committing to like a therapist. They might see you for years. I mean, typically how long do you talk to somebody? It, you know, it varies based on the issue. But yes, typically my goal is not to keep you forever, even though I love talking to my clients. Of course, of course. Typically seven to 12 sessions, you know, for more complicated issues, it just really depends

on how much stuff you have to sort through. But seven to 12 sessions is a pretty standard time for me to work with my. clients. I also have a libida recovery masterclass that is in development that I'm going to be launching pretty soon. So that may be up and available as well. So if you're looking for more of a group experience, that's another one too. Yeah, I love that. And so I'll put links to everything in the description. Is there anything that I didn't bring up that you'd like to say to women out there that might be going through this? I think the thing that I just want to say is that, you know, cancer treatments and mastectomy, they're going to change your body and your relationship, but you are more

than the sum of your scars. And, you know, sex and intimacy is just such an important part of who we are as women and how we express ourselves and our relationships. And this isn't a part of your life that you have to give up. So I don't, you don't need to lose hope here. There's so much hope that is out there. And, you know, please, please reach out. But, you know, I think the fact that you're listening to this podcast just says that obviously sex and intimacy is something that you're interested in and is important to you and you know and you see the fun playful side of all of it and ultimately that is the goal is to be able to just get back to the erotic playground and you know enjoy all of the pleasure that your body is capable of yeah and what's important is like that story exists I feel like we all

live stories out right and sometimes and it's all how you frame things I know for me like I'm like a very cup half full person so whatever story I have I lose a car, I get a better one. Like, everything just always works out for me. Like, that's the story I have. That's a story I tell myself. And that's a story that's a story that fucking happens. And you're here to say that like, this could be your story too. Like you have this really positive story that other people could have too. And I love that because like I said, I'm a cup half full person. And while you're fucking alive, why not keep having sex, having great sex? It is a piece of the pie. It's not everything in your life, but it is a piece of that pie. And it's important to hold on to it, even through that. And you did. And you did. And you

And you're, so to me, your story is so great. And I love that it's available for other people to have. And it could be their story too. So thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. I was so excited about this topic because I, I think it's super important. And it's not talked about enough. So thanks so much, Amy. I mean, maybe you come on another time because you do help people just with regular

sex and stuff, you know, but people could also get that information from your podcast, right? Because it's out there. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. My podcast, Sensational Sex Podcast. go ahead and subscribe to that.

Season one just finished and season two, we are working on launching, so that will be coming soon. But there's a lot of stuff up there now. There's a lot of stuff up on there now from season one that they could go and, you know, check out all that great information. Yeah, there's 30 great episodes there. So. Yeah, that's awesome. But thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Kathy, for inviting me to join you. No, I was like I said, I was like, yeah, this is such an important topic, especially for me because I've seen it in my family so much. said. I was like, oh, I love this. But, you know, so anyway, thank you, no, thank you for calling in and sharing your story and doing what you do. And I'm, you know, I'll put all your links in the description. Thanks, Amy. Thanks so much for calling in. Thank you. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook,

but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out to August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip

around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.