Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1252 - Yoni Massage and Squirting w/ Sex Coach Caitlin V
Episode Date: October 18, 2025Caitlin V is a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, and host of Good Sex on HBO Max, and she called in to talk all about yoni massage (aka pussy massage) and squirting. Tune in to hear all the detail...s including why taking your time to do a yoni massage on your girl can really pay off, how to start the massage and what to do first, the three sections of the massage process and what to do in each, how a yoni massage can release tension and heal trauma, Caitlin’s own story of trauma and how she healed through bodywork, how to get a woman to squirt and what guys usually get wrong, why relaxation and setup matter, how and why squirt isn’t pee, where the G-spot is and how to know you’ve found it, why every woman has a G spot but why some are harder to find, the breakdown of the different orgasm types and how to become multi-orgasmic plus a whole lot more. Learn how to give a Yoni massage here: https://caitlinvneal.com/yoni-massage/ **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER https://bluechew.com Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON https://beducate.me/pd2532-anonymous Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee https://brooklynbedding.com Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide https://vb.health To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY https://butterwellness.com/ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website: http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Okay, today I have on Caitlin V.
She's back on.
Caitlin is a sex and relationship coach.
She's a YouTuber.
She's also the host of Good Sex on HBO Max.
She called him before.
Last time we talked all about PE and performance for guys.
She's super smart.
She talks really fast.
She's super smart.
This time I had her back on to talk about yoni massage, aka pussy massage, and squirting, you know,
because those are two things that guys could do for their girls that I think their girls would love.
But there's nothing like a yoni massage.
She's going to talk all about that first, and then we get into the G spot and squirting.
She goes through all the specifics on how to give the yoni massage, how long it takes, where to go, what to do.
she knows a woman's body, she talks about it, not just the physical things you have to do,
but also any kind of emotional blocks that could come up, things that might get in the way
of not just yodi massage, but squirting as well. She's super smart. She talks about it all.
You're going to find this episode super interesting and helpful. If you want more information,
those courses are on her website. I will put the links to it and she's offering my listeners
there's a discount on the courses.
But I will put the links to those in the description,
but you're going to learn a lot.
You don't have to get the courses.
This is just if you want to see it in action,
but she's going to talk about what to do on this episode.
So I'm going to get right to be right back on with Caitlin V.
Hi, Caitlin V.
Welcome back to the Strictly Anonymous podcast.
How are you today?
I'm doing great.
Thank you for having me back on.
I wanted you back on because you were so much fun to talk to.
You are Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach.
You also have a great YouTube channel.
you're definitely a YouTuber, right?
Where you have a lot of really great videos over there with a lot of information.
And you also are the host of something of a show called Good Sex on HBO Max.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
So you have, you know, you've been there, done that.
You are the professional.
You're also a content creator.
So you're so, you were so good on my last episode.
Whenever I have like a YouTuber or someone else that has a podcast, like they're always
such easy guests because they're so great at talking.
I mean, last time we focused a little.
lot on performance issues because that's a big topic that you discussed. But I also saw that you
talk about so many different things. And I was like, oh, I want to have you back on. And this time I
want to focus on specific things that guys can do to have better sex. And we are going to be
talking about yoni massage and squirting. So those are like a pussy massage and squirting. Because those
are two things that I saw that you talk about that you like teach guys to do. Yeah. And two very hot button
issues, right? Like, I think most men, if they haven't had a partner squirt, they're interested in
making a partner squirt or, you know, overcoming a partner's challenges around squirting or whatever
obstacles have been in the way. And then Yoni massage, I think all great lovers of all genders,
really want to understand how we can touch our partner, particularly their genitals, in a way that
is not only loving and caring and reverent, but like that also builds them up to be able to have
better and better sex and bigger climaxes and to understand them better. And I think Yoni
Massage really offers that too. Yeah, because what I've learned from talking to other experts on
my show, and I'm sure you're going to get into that, is like, you know, a woman's insides are
no different than a man in that that you need to get them erect, right? Like we have all this
sort of material inside. And the more you're lubed up in that way, and I'm not talking about
getting wet, but the more you're like erect and you're turned on, the better you're,
your orgasm can, will be.
Turgid.
Right?
And a woman takes a little bit longer than a guy to get all that going.
But that's the trick to having those killer orgasms.
Yeah.
And part of that is because the female body actually has a very similar amount of erectile
tissue as the male body.
So if you look at the average cock and think about how much erectile tissue is in a cock,
the same is true for a pussy.
They're just in five different areas.
One of the best sayings I ever heard on this is like if men get a heart,
on, then women get a hard around because those five pieces of tissue kind of go all the way
around the vaginal opening and on the inside of the vagina. So you have the clitoris,
the vestibular bulbs on either side, which are sort of like an extension of the clitoris.
They're not the clitoral legs, but they come down and they reach down to like either side
of the vaginal opening. In between the vaginal canal and the anal canal, you have the perennial
sponge or the PS spot that's also made out of erectile tissue and you have the G spot which we will
also talk about with squirting so there's also a really lovely connection between yoni massage and squirting
but all all five of those individual bodies of tissue add up to a very similar amount of erectile
tissue and yes it's it's almost like I've thought about it kind of like a domino but that's not
exactly it because it's not like one piece falls and the another one it's more like one of those like
beautiful, extensive, elaborate domino displays that you may have seen online where, you know,
you push one and then it leads to four and then to eight and then, you know, as there's like
four thousand dominoes falling at once.
Yeah.
The female body set up a little bit more like that when it comes to arousal and turn on.
And like how many people really, you know, in their everyday life, if they don't know how to
give a proper yoting massage are really like sort of pushing down all those dominoes,
probably not that much, right?
No, I'd say they're probably stopping right after the first four.
Don't you think?
Right, and no fault to anyone.
Like, we're all busy and like you rightly pointed out, it does take longer.
It takes concerted effort.
It also takes skill.
You know, and this is, yoni massage is one of those things that, yes, absolutely,
you could compress it.
You can do a 10-minute yonie massage and still get some benefit.
But it is a thing that just like all great things, it actually takes time.
And if you commit to doing it, if you commit to like really giving it your full presence
and the time that it requires to do it right.
And then you commit to doing it on a regular basis.
And for some folks, I could look weekly.
For others, it could look quarterly.
For others, it could be once a year.
It doesn't necessarily have to be something that you schedule in like a chore.
But you will get benefits and those benefits will compound over time.
The more frequently that you commit to doing it and the more time that you give each individual session to be done right.
Oh, so you mean the more you do it maybe the quicker she's able to get there because she's more.
like in tune or used to it.
Yeah, that may be the case.
Like, you know, many folks, when they've experienced something that is familiar,
they're able to drop in sooner, right?
Like, your body sort of knows what things to look out for.
Anytime that we do something new, whether that's like skydiving or rollerblading
or lingam massage, like, you know, there's a part of our lizard brain that is saying,
I'm going to die.
Even if it knows, we know, we all know that we're not going to die.
But anytime that we're trying something that is new, if there's even a little bit of a sense that we could fail at it or that we don't know what we're doing.
And this is true for both the person who's giving the yoni massage and the person who's receiving it, right?
The first time that you do this, neither of us knows how this is going to go or what it's going to be like.
And we both have our hopes.
Oh, I hope that she's going to get really aroused and she's going to be really horny and she's going to really want penetrative sex.
And she's like, oh, I hope that, you know, it's really easy for me to get into it and shut off my brain and relax and let my body do its thing.
and, you know, those things are going to be present the first time, maybe even the first couple
times that we try it, but we keep going back and we keep learning more. And that's the cool thing,
you know, yonis in general, women's bodies overall are very interesting in that they're constantly
changing, you know, different times of the month, different stages of life. There's always more
to explore and experience with the yoni massage. And as you both get more comfortable with it,
not only will be able to get into that, like, dropped in nervous system state faster, but you'll also be
able to like collect information over time that makes the experience better for both people as they
learn what works and what feels good and what doesn't. Yeah. And listen, women are so in their heads,
right, that I would just even think over time, you know, you could be more relaxed. There's less
pressure. And I think what's very true, and this is probably why, because you told me before
we started taping that this is like your second most requested thing online that you get, right?
Yeah. Yeah. As your Yoni massage course or what you have.
And I think it's because like men, at least most men I know, are so into, like they're pleasers.
There's nothing more that turns them on than turning their partner on, right?
They want you to be so horned up.
They really do, right?
Like that's their favorite thing.
And so I think a lot of guys are, that's probably why guys love to learn this because they want to turn their girl the fuck on.
And this is going to do it, right?
Yeah, totally.
So maybe we should go all the way back to the beginning and just define what Yoni massage or pussy massage is.
Yeah.
So a pussy massage, which I'm calling yoni massage. It's a Sanskrit term. Yoni. And the term roughly translates in English as sacred space. And this really is like a sacred historical, even ancient practice, which is why I call it Yoni massage. And that's the lineage that I was taught in. But feel free to call it pussy massage or crissage or whatever feels good for you. We're not, you know, not gatekeeping based on terminology over here. So what it is is it is a practice of using
your hands to bring both healing and pleasurable touch to your partner's genitals, to her
pussy, to her vulva. And you can incorporate this as part of a full body massage. You can certainly
incorporate it as foreplay. It certainly doesn't have to be, though. It can be its own stand-alone
experience, and it is meant to give you an opportunity for her to, like, fully receive and not have
to be, you know, focused on the give and take that most of us experience in a sexual encounter.
it's an opportunity for you to fully give and be fully present with her body and maybe learn about and witness her body in different ways.
Give her an experience of her body that she's never had before because, you know, until you've had one, you have not had one.
It does not matter like how lovingly and tenderly someone has stroked her clitoris.
This is a completely different experience.
And for the yoni massage, we really think about starting our touch very much on the periphery, on the inner thighs, on the outer thighs, on the outer.
labya and then we work our way and we work our intensity up more and more and more until we're
again depending on what feels good for you and your partner potentially massaging the inside
of her vaginal canal potentially massaging those five pieces of a rectile tissue that we spoke to
earlier but it doesn't even really need to include an internal massage even if you just give
loving touch loving presence you're in communication you're figuring out what works for her
and you're using your hands and your fingers to create different sensations to bring blood flow to
different parts of the body to help the various parts of her vulva and vagina to relax and release
tension and, you know, encourage more fluid to move throughout her body, just like any other massage, right?
Yeah, sounds like it.
I mean, all of us know what it feels like to have our shoulders rubbed, right?
And I go to the shoulders because that's like my biggest problem area.
If you ask me, like, where would I like to get a massage at any given moment, nine times out of ten,
my shoulders. I think that's true for many of us. The thing that's interesting about the vulva and the
vagina is they're made up of a very complex system of tissues and nerves and muscles and erectile
tissue. And we don't think about them the same way that we might think about other muscles,
like our legs or our shoulders, our neck, but they are like these other muscles. And for many women,
through no fault of their own or their partners, they may have been engaging in sex before they
were like really fully turned all the way on. I mean, I'm guilty of this too, right? Like maybe it's the
morning we don't have that much time or, you know, like I just, I want you inside me. So please do it.
Like, you know, we're not always conscious of like how much more turn on there is for us in these parts
of our bodies. And what happens is just like an athlete who maybe runs a race without fully
warming up every time or without stretching before and after every time, these muscles become
tired out. They become sore. They become overburden. They become stretched. They may hold tension.
They may hold tightness. But unlike our shoulders, it's not, I think, as obvious to us. It's not as
clear, unless it is really clear, right, unless you really are experiencing pain with sex,
which Yoni massage is also great for. But giving to this part of the body, especially to a woman's body,
that experiences so much, that is so, you know, singular and unique and that you're sharing really
intimately with another person.
Like I said, it's not just pleasurable.
It's also very healing and it's also really good for the overall health and well-being of not
just her yoni, but her overall body and her overall sexuality.
Hey, guys, I'm going to tell you something that I don't think a lot of guys know that men,
just like women, have a G-spot.
That's right.
Guys have a G-spot, too.
And you know where it is.
it is hidden right underneath your taint.
Now, most people know where the taint is,
but if you don't, it is that little landing strip
right between your balls and your asshole.
Now, listen, if you stimulate your male G-spot,
you're going to have what's called a prostate orgasm.
Now, I've never had a prostate orgasm because I'm a chick,
but guys who have called into my show and talked about it
have said it is like the best overall full-body orgasm
they've ever had.
And that's why I'm excited to tell you about the butter wellness perineum massager.
The reason why I love their massager for prostate orgasms is because you don't have to put anything inside you to have one.
Okay.
Their massager is designed to only be used externally.
All you got to do is take it and push it down on your G spot and you're going to be on your way to having a prostate orgasm.
I had a listener email me recently and he said he bought the butter paroneum massager.
And he told me that not only did it.
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It also gave him stronger erections so much so that his wife totally noticed the difference.
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So listen, after you hear that great review, why not go check out the butter perineum massager yourself?
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Unlike our shoulders, it's not, I think, as obvious to us.
It's not as clear, unless it is really clear, right?
Unless you really are experiencing pain with sex,
which Yoni massage is also great for.
But giving to this part of the body,
especially to a woman's body,
that experiences so much,
that is so, you know, singular and unique and that you're sharing really intimately with another
person, it's, like I said, it's not just pleasurable. It's also very healing and it's also really good
for the overall health and well-being of not just her yoni, but her overall body and her overall
sexuality. Right. I can imagine. Because it's bringing her more in tune with it. It's creating
blood flow, which is always great, right? Just physically, it's, it's helpful to bring blood flow to that area
more than you normally do. I mean, most people aren't doing it all the time. I mean, it's like a great
exercise. Yeah, it is. And it's something that you can actually do on your own. Women can give themselves
yoni massage. I do it to myself from time to time. I was going to ask, yeah. It feels good to do as well,
right? But just in the same way that, like, I can kind of massage my shoulders. I can get my little
massage balls out and get my back and stuff. Like, it feels good, right? But it feels,
I think extra delightful and luxurious when someone else is giving you the massage.
When you're able to actually relax, just have the experience of being touched in that way.
And in case you're thinking to yourself as you're listening to this, like, but I don't know how to do massage, right?
But I'm not a good, you know, even when I rub her shoulders, she tells me that I don't do her right or whatever.
What I want to remind everyone is that it's okay to be a beginner at all things, first of all.
But especially with this, you don't have to be good at very much to give a great yoni massage.
I would say that your ability to touch her body presently and with love is the only baseline
criteria that you need to be excellent at this skill.
You really don't need to know much other than that.
And like you said, I made a whole course that has two demonstrations, me giving yoni massages
to two live models.
but I also in the course, I spend the majority of the course explaining how to do the massage,
different types of touch that you can bring into the massage so that you have all the technical
background of it. But like I said, you don't even need all of that. Like you can try it,
you know, move slowly, talk to her and be in communication about what feels good, start from the
outside and move towards the inside. Like you can be experimenting with this and see how it feels
without a whole lot of knowledge. I mean, this is this is ancient practice. People have
doing this all over the world for many, many, many years.
Right, but it is different than just like rubbing down there.
I personally like a tutorial.
You know, I like to know exactly what to do.
Like, why not?
Because it's only going to be better because there isn't just the massaging on the outside.
Doesn't you eventually go inside to get all the inside really plumped up too?
Yes, yes, you do.
So like I was saying, my favorite way to do the yawning massage is really to start with,
to think of it sort of in three sections.
The first section is like a full body massage.
And again, it doesn't have to be super technical.
You get the massage oil out, lay your partner down, maybe put her on her stomach first
so that you can like massage her back, shoulders, the backside of her calves,
kind of the areas that most of us experience a little more tenderness on.
And that's part one.
Part one is like the full body massage.
While you're doing that, you're attuning to her, you're breathing with her, you're,
you're kind of establishing the baseline of communication and speed.
You know, do you want me to move faster, slower?
Do you like this pressure?
So you're kind of like building up.
up an awareness of vocabulary or getting in tune with her body as it is today. And like I said,
the more that you're breathing together and you're sinking together, the easier it is for you to
have sort of that nonverbal communication of what feels good. And you can, you know, kind of get to
the point where you're able to, like, really without having to exchange a lot of words, understand
where to go and how to touch, especially as you develop more practice and more mastery over this.
Second part of the massage is incorporating her yoni, especially on the outside, her Libya
Her outer labia, really call them minora and majora anymore.
We do inner and outer, especially her outer labia, maybe a little bit of her inner labia,
but not her clitoris and not her vaginal opening.
Interesting.
And then you can bring the full body back in, too, after having done sort of the outside
and engaged in like the periphery.
And then you come back and you focus strictly on the yoni.
And the reason for this is that it involves titration.
So there's like the full body and then there's the practical being of the genital focus.
and then we go back to the full body and then we go back to the genitals.
Sometimes it's a little bit easier for us to like relax into something on the second time around, right?
Sometimes it's easier for us to like zoom in and zoom out and then zoom in and then zoom out.
So it's a good practice overall.
And then like I said, in the third section of that massage is when you're like actually touching her clitoris, her clitoral hood,
the most sensitive parts of her outer body, her vulva.
And then also inserting a finger, maybe two fingers eventually.
and you're also working your way around the inside of her vulva.
And the way that I teach that is like a clock so that you can start at the 12 o'clock
and work your way around to the 3, to the 6, to the 9, and back up to the 12.
And the reason for that is that, first of all bodies are different, right?
And it's not just how we have sex, it's how we move, how you walk.
If you lift weights, if you do squats, these all have an impact on the pelvic floor.
It's not sex alone.
And if she's had children or not, she had vaginal delivery or she didn't, like all.
of these things are going to have an influence on her individual pelvic floor. And all of us know this,
right? Like on some intuitive level, like my right shoulder is different than my left shoulder, right?
The body's making modifications all of the time. And so when you move very strategically, and I teach
the same sort of clock face on the vulva as well, start up at the 12 and then work your way back
to the 12, you're actually giving some time and attention to each of the individual sort of subsections,
like sub-geography of all the little neighborhoods inside of her body. And all of the
we're going to be a little bit different.
Totally.
You know, some of us are going to be tighter on one side than we are on the other.
And the upper left quadrant is a little more sensitive.
And this is a little tighter.
Again, this is a really great way to create balance again in the body and like help her learn
about her body as well.
Because when is it that you ever have thought about, you know, 12 different sub portions
of her vaginal opening, right?
When we divide them into that level of specificity, we can get a lot more information.
It's almost like a fractal.
Each one that we go into is going to be a little bit different.
And that's why the yoni massage is so powerful, it's so potent, and why you can come back to it over and over and over again.
Yeah, I just did a whole episode on pelvic floor stuff with this woman, Johnna Danielson.
And she, and you know, I told her, like, I thought I was a little tight maybe.
And when I went to my gun and colleges, they felt around.
And when they got to a certain area and they were feeling around like you said, like, you know, like all the clock positions.
Like, do you feel it here?
Do you feel here?
And then when she got to like one section, it was on one side, I was like, oh, I could kind of feel that.
And she's like, oh, so that's where you're tight, right?
So you do, and it wasn't my whole pussy.
It wasn't my whole inside, right?
It was just this one area.
But those are the kinds of things that you would feel if, you know, they're going in and sort
of going around and not instead of just going in randomly.
Totally.
And by the way, that sensation can refer to other areas of the body and vice versa.
Like the body is an entire system, especially the same of the muscles.
Yeah.
And so I one time had a yoni massage, like a pelvic floor massage.
And forgive me, I don't remember.
I was pretty like, I was into it. I was like well out of it at this point. But she was able to locate a muscle. And this is a really cool thing about women's bodies, right? Is that we have this like way of getting inside of our body that men don't have. But she was able to actually locate a muscle that was more along the lines of like flexing my hips and like the inside of my thigh. And she was able to massage that from the inside. And it really wasn't necessarily my pelvic floor that was tight. It was another muscle.
that through that being tightened had shortened my pelvic floor and like caused the whole chain
to pull in one direction. Wow. And did you know that about your body or did you discover that
when she felt that? I had no idea. You know, she also, as part of the session, she had worked on the
inside of my knee a little bit before we did the Yoni massage. And it was like very tender in there.
But I would never have anticipated that, you know, something, sensation or tightness that I was
feeling of my thigh or the inside of my knee.
Yeah, totally.
Would refer back to the inside of my body in that way.
And that's when I got the greatest relief from that, from that knee-related thing.
And I used to go see a neuromuscular therapist as a specific kind of massage.
And I'd go to her and I'd say, my shoulders, her.
And then she'd spend the whole time working on my hips.
And I was like, but I told me my shoulders hurt.
And she would say, it's a system, you know?
We don't necessarily know which part of the system without, you know, tremendous amount
a study, we can't just say that like, okay, you feel it here. That's because it's being caused in that
area. Often it's not, right? And that's, again, one of the most tremendously healing parts about giving
or receiving a yoni massage is like, we don't know until we're in there. All of the other areas of
the body that could be positively affected by this. Not to mention, we have so much good data and evidence
that points to the way that trauma is stored in the body. Right? The phenomenal book,
the body keeps the scores, a great example. But I don't even think you need to read that book to
have like an intuitive sense that when things happen to us, they don't have to be sexually related,
right? It could be a car accident, could be, you know, sports injuries even, you know,
but traumatic events in particular imprint on the body. We sort of freeze up in one area or in one
position and the cells themselves remember that tension. They remember that kindness. And if we don't
get a chance to actually work through and process that trauma through our bodies in a safe
space, then the cells can remain that way forever. I experienced a traumatic sexual assault,
and I didn't realize that that happened when I was like 21. And I didn't realize, even though I had
done all the therapy and all of the work, you know, like mentally, emotionally, I was good. I was fine.
Yeah, I got it. Yeah. I'm not very tough as it is. I was like move through it.
Yeah. But physically.
you were still there.
It wasn't until I started.
And you know, here's the thing.
I had no idea because I was still having sex successfully.
You know, it was still orgasming.
Like, I didn't think that I was missing anything.
And it wasn't until I had worked on both on my anus and on my yoni that allowed my pelvic
floor to, like, really fully finish and release that trauma.
And I got so much more sensation back.
I got so much more flexibility back.
I got, like, so much more blood back.
I mean, like, it was completely changed my part.
pelvic floor. And again, I was someone who experienced one traumatic event and then did what I thought
was necessary to process it. And I still had that much going on. So depending on who you're with,
like her experience, early sexual experiences, if she had some non-consensual sexual experiences,
like those things could have happened 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago. And her body still may be holding
some of that tension unknowingly, you know, we're not, none of this is conscious. But if you are a safe
space and a safe person for her to begin to release those things, then her body may get a chance to
actually, like, fully release and process and restore to its original, you know, functioning and
original condition. Right. So even as you as someone who was like, you know, functioning fine,
like you thought, right, and you're having orgasms, everything's okay. Like after though you healed
even physically, right, even though you didn't think you needed to, after that, were your orgasms like
10 times better? Like, you kind of didn't know what you were missing? I'd say that.
Yeah, so I'll go all the way. I didn't give one of the pieces of pertinent information to like really help the story. Yeah. Really make the story make sense. Yeah. So I experienced a non-consensual anal entry. Oh, wow. And so I had anal sex forced on me when I was the age of 21. And for many years later, I didn't really experiment a whole lot with anal sex. And then I would. And I did. And it was fine. It wasn't great.
And it was like, but you know, that's kind of the narrative around anal, right?
It's like some people like it's not for everybody.
You know, people act like pain is normal, which by the way, it is not.
And worth mentioning, I also developed a anal massage course as well based on the same concept,
same techniques, same touch techniques, but specifically applied to the anus.
And the anal bodywork that I got from a professional body worker, sexological bodyworker,
completely changed my entire pelvic floor.
So it wasn't just my anus that was affected by that.
And I remember I got off on the massage table.
I was on there for maybe like six hours getting this work done.
Yeah, it was a pretty, I mean, she's a really skilled body worker.
We're just moving very, very, very slowly, very slowly.
And remember, this is someone who I like paid to do this.
This is my partner.
This is someone who's working on, you know, the energetic realm and we're talking and we're
taking breaks.
And she's just kind of like complete presence with my body throughout this whole experience.
She flips me over onto my back.
we put my neck in the same position where it was in when my assault happened. And all of a sudden,
like, all of this stuckness and this energy felt like a boot that I was digging up from the
bottom of a mucky pond, you know, like kind of just erupted out of me. And I kind of finally fully
released the experience, released the trauma that had been trapped in my body at that point for like
eight years, I guess. And I, when I went to the bathroom, I remember sitting on the toilet for the
first time feeling like my butt was going to touch the water. Wow.
You know it was not, right? Like there was no chance. But that is how much release and relaxation
that I got from just that experience. And after that, my ability to have not just anal sex,
but also better vaginal sex. Yeah. And my ability to enjoy sex more increased exponentially. And
the same is true for many, many, many other people who have experienced, you know, various types and
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But that is how much release and relaxation that I got from just that experience.
And after that, my ability to have not just anal sex, but also better vaginal sex.
And my ability to enjoy sex more increased exponentially.
And the same is true for many, many other people who have experienced, you know, various types
in various levels of trauma to those areas.
I love it and I think it does.
It is really helpful.
So how long do you guys spend inside?
I think the overall, like the way that I recommend scheduling is take 90 minutes.
15 is going to be just on set up and 15 is going to be kind of on cooled out in aftercare
and the actual massage is going to take about an hour.
Again, you can go shorter.
You can definitely go longer.
And you'll probably spend, I think,
how would I break up that hour?
I would probably break that up so that the final 15,
maybe 20.
Here's the thing.
It actually really depends.
If it's the first time that you're giving her a yoni massage,
I would spend more time on the external labia.
I would spend more time on the inner labia
and like giving them strokes and giving them pinches
and getting a lot of blood flow there.
Because it's going to, when we think about the don't,
dominoes, those are the external dominoes. Those are the dominoes that fall first.
They're the most important then.
Well, they're not necessarily the most important, but they're, in terms of like the way that we
would operate, the way that, you know, even when you come to someone's house, you walk in the
front door, right? For the most parts, you don't know them especially, right? So that, those are
sort of the front door, right? And the inner stuff you would get to later, and maybe if it was
a second or third yoni massage, you would spend way more time on the internal stuff.
And part of that is because even if you are her husband of 15, 20, 30 years, she still needs to be able to relax and let go and feel completely safe inside of this experience.
And again, I don't want you to take that personally because it really doesn't have anything to do with you, right?
It's a collective, all of her life experience, like all the sex that she did want to have and maybe some sex that she did not want to have.
It's still influencing her body.
So you start at the front door, right?
Yeah.
You don't just barge all the way into somebody's house and make your way at home and their back.
backyard, right? There's an order of operations to these things. And so you start at the, at the
external and even, you know, on the outside, not even just the vulva itself, but the area around it,
Mon's pub is inside of the thighs. So maybe if I was saying this is your first yoni massage,
you may want to spend an even 50-50 of time on the external and the internal. If she, if you're
newer in partnership, if you don't know each other that well,
if it's a first kind of early experience,
maybe you spend a little bit more time on the external
before you get into the internal.
And if you've been doing yoni massage on her for a while,
like I said, this is your second, your third,
your fourth, your fifth yoni massage,
and you know that you're going to have the greatest impact
on the inside of her body
and that trust has been built in
and that comfort is built in.
Then you may want to spend, I don't know,
45 minutes on the internal out of an hour.
Again, these are all just kind of like rough estimates.
Yeah.
All of it has to do is what she's comfortable with,
what feels good for her.
You know, the other side of this,
and this is why I'd say to do it more than once,
is that, like, you know, you might touch on a spot,
like the spot that you were referring to at your Gino's office,
where you're like, oh, that's the spot.
Yeah.
And we don't ever want to rush through that.
You know, not all sides of the clock, not all sides of the clock,
not all numbers, are going to get the same amount of time and attention.
Because there's going to be some, you might get to the 4 o'clock,
and she's like, yeah, that feels good.
Right.
And you get to the 5 o'clock, and she's like, oh, something's going on.
You get to 6 o'clock, and she's like, oh, there's a lot going on there.
Right.
And so you want to be able to be able to be.
to be flexible with your time enough to commit the time to the areas that could use it the most.
And it's worth noting also that not all women are going to have a bunch of really clear feedback
as you're moving, right? They might not be connected enough to their body. Remember that the
mind-body connection is really crucial here in terms of the recipient being able to give feedback on
what's working on what feels good. It's like they need to develop that. And just by you having your
hand on her and saying, this is the four o'clock. That is helping her to build that mind-body
connection. Just the same way that when I'm working out, my trainer touches my lats and goes,
here's the lats. Here's what I want you to be, you know, moving in this exercise, right. But I didn't,
like, you know, before I started working out of the trainer, I couldn't tell you where my lats were.
Even if I could point to them, I didn't know what it felt like to actually activate them until
someone else tapped on them from the outside. And then my brain was able to kind of draw that
map backwards that found the lats in space and time. And that took years for me to be able to do.
So if your partner's not able to articulate, oh, I want this kind of touch on my six o'clock,
and I teach like four basic styles of touch, you know, tapping, holding windshield wipers and
circles. And she might not be able to, she might be like, they all kind of feel the same.
Okay, that's fine. That's perfectly good information, right? We'll collect more information as we go.
We'll pick one for right now. Next time.
she might be able to be like, ah, it was circles.
Circles is where it's at.
Right.
Right.
And the more you talk, I would think the more she feels comfortable and maybe the more she
makes those connections eventually, maybe, you know, over time, she's going to be more
communicative, right?
Because she's feeling it more.
Yeah.
And it's also true that if, you know, she, like, look, I had capital T trauma in my history, right?
Some folks, some women are going to have like capital T that was a traumatic experience.
right? Some of us have had like a lot of lowercase T traumas, like things that just like we didn't love, but like consent. It wasn't exactly what we wanted, but it was okay, but our body didn't really like it.
Depending on her experience, she might have some like bigger traumatic experiences like as I did. And look, I don't even think I had it that bad. I had like one, you know, pretty, pretty violent assault in one out of, you know, five women in the United States. I think it's one out of four.
I think it's one out of four. Yeah, I've heard one out of four. Yeah. Right. And I don't, I'm not saying.
that to downplay mine, I'm just saying, like, look, I was very privileged. I was in a good place.
I was able to, you know, I was able to like work out what had happened to me. But there are
definitely people, women who have had really large traumas or had really large, you know, again,
not everyone processes trauma. I'm unique. This is what I do for a living because I can do it.
She may have had something similar to happen to her and she didn't have those resources. She
didn't have access to the kinds of support network that I did when I was in my 20s.
And it might be appropriate if you were doing this.
this yoni massage and you sort of realize that it's it's very emotional it's touching on some like
really big feelings it may be appropriate for you to continue and to be her her loving partner and
you know maybe appropriate for you to stop and reground and go immediately to aftercare and it may
be appropriate for you to refer her to an expert like a sex logical body worker or someone who's
trained in this there are a lot of different folks and professions who train in some sort of version of
this folks from the tantrasphere and and massage therapists there are a
massage therapists that do yoni massage as well.
It's not just in the like esoteric and spiritual realm.
There are there kind of more what we would consider like mainstream massage therapist
that will also offer this.
But working with someone who is a trained professional who knows how to bring the body
into safety so that it can experience and process trauma may be your best move.
Right.
And I'm saying this, don't not do it because you know she has a history, right, of,
assault or other traumatic experiences.
But take that into consideration as you do it and move more slowly, more thoughtfully, maybe even bring in or, you know, suggest that you call in a professional if, you know, if the work that you're doing in your own bedroom leads you to believe that there's actually a lot more available if, if a, if an expert was the person who was leading that process.
Right.
No, that makes sense.
Do you want to get to the G spot and the squirting at this point?
because is that like is that part of the yoni massage or does that could that be an add-on?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, great question.
So squirting isn't necessarily a part of the yoni massage.
I would consider that to be a different process.
I think squirting could definitely happen during the yonin massage.
But let's talk about how they're connected.
So part of the yoni massage, particularly once you're inside of her body and you're at the 12 o'clock back up and into her body,
if you were if you were inserting a finger or two under her body, this would be like where you touched.
If you curl your fingers up towards her belly button and make like a come here motion, right?
That is where the G spot and sort of all of the tissue that relates to the G spot is located.
It's a network of spongy tissue.
It is actually the G spot.
And there's different thoughts on this, but I think, you know, how I typically explain it is the, what we feel with the G spot is the urethral sponge.
It's a spongy erectile piece of tissue that actually becomes erectile.
during sex to protect the urethra.
Because the urethra, obviously, like our ability to urinate is very crucial to our ability
to process waste and to live, right?
And for those of you who have never, you know, had the experience of not peeing after sex,
we know how quickly having a urethra that has bacteria in it and has been peed up
and can cause a urinary tract infection, how absolutely painful that can be.
And actually deadly, it can be, you know, not so much anymore, but certainly for our ancestors,
right? So theory is that our urethral sponge evolved to protect the urethro it during sex.
It also happens to feel good. It's innervated. It's sort of, we can think about it as like the
backside of the clitoris. So the clit has all of these nerve endings in it. It's highly
innervated. And then the opposite side of it, the g-spot, the other side and the inside,
also highly innervated also feels really good. Now for everyone, I mean, you can speak for
100% of people. Some people find that G-spot stimulation doesn't feel that good. But
majority of people, majority of women find that there are pleasurable nerve.
that when they're stimulated in a pleasurable way,
feel pretty good on the inside of the body.
And does every woman have one?
Yes.
Technically, you know, of course, humans are unique
and between the, you know,
four billion women-ish that are on planet Earth.
There may be some abnormals,
but yes, pretty much anyone who is assigned female at birth,
has two X chromosomes, has a vulva,
like any sort of like...
Has a D-Spot.
That can be found.
That can be found.
they can be
yes a locatable trackable
G spot
because I think a lot of women
haven't felt their G spot
haven't had it stimulated
to the point where they
I don't know
somebody guys have tried
to get me a squirt touch
my G spot I don't feel shit
so you know
but I'm saying like I must have one right
I remember hearing like
or wondering like
or some people saying like
maybe you don't have one
or like some people
didn't even believe in the G spot
you know I think things are different
or different now right
but wasn't that like a thing
that some people thought
maybe some people had it
and some people didn't
yeah there there are many years
where the G-spot's existence was up for debate.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
Yeah, that's where I'm coming from.
I'm old.
We can really think about the G-spot as like the last domino.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.
We're at the last domino.
It requires a lot of stimulation and a lot of arousal
in order to engorge with blood.
It doesn't just like appear, right?
And so if you just, you know, if I was to like insert a finger inside of me
right now in the middle of our conversation, I won't be able to feel my G-spot.
Right.
It's not going to be like engorged.
In one swoop.
Right, right. But if I feel it 20 or 30 minutes into foreplay, it's probably going to be making a showing, right? And if maybe we're having sex for longer or I had a yoni massage or, you know, had done like a lot of like turn on and prework and arousal beforehand, it could, it's going to show up more, more obviously, the more turn on, the more blood, right? And the interesting thing about the G spot is that this is the place where we can move.
most often trigger squirting from is by stimulating the G spot.
Not all women need their G spot to be stimulated in order to ejaculate, right?
There's a large, there's a decent percentage of women who just ejaculate whether or not their
G spot is being pleasure.
They ejaculate maybe even before they have an orgasm.
They ejaculate with an orgasm.
They ejaculate a lot of fluids.
I had a lot of students when I was teaching a college class that would come forward at the end
of class and be like, I squirt every time.
And I don't know what's going on.
and I feel shame and I go to a lot of towels, you know, and it can be really confusing and scary
for them as well. Yeah. The majority of us, though, on the other hand, have to learn how to do it
ourselves. We have to learn how to trigger the G-spot in such a way that it causes a squirting orgasm.
One of the ways that I have taught, and I have a YouTube video on this, I also have an entire
course on this, is to take two or three fingers. After she, again, I cannot emphasize. She has to be
already really turned on. If she's multi-orgasmic, you don't do this until she's had one, two, maybe three
orgasms.
Oh, really? Okay, that's good to know.
If she's not multi-orgasmic, you've been working her up to an orgasm for 20, 30, 40, 50 minutes, right?
She's really turned on.
Then you take two fingers, you press them up against the G-spot.
You make your hand rigid, right?
You're going to hold stiffness in your fingers and in your wrist, and then you shake your hand vigorously,
starting sort of like your shoulder and the top of your arm.
Everything else below your elbow is being rigid because you want to actually create quite a bit of
sensation against the G spot.
And if you time this correctly, and I think this is what a lot of men get wrong, is they start
too soon, right?
And if you start too soon, then you're just expending a ton of energy trying to like chair camera
or G spot harder.
And then you're like, you know, you're cramping.
Yeah, that's all the guys that have tried, it's always like, you know, they go right to
it.
You know, that's the thing.
But it's like they're starting at the wrong time.
Yeah.
Are they starting, are they doing the technique that I've sort of describing here?
No, they're doing, you know, I think that your technique is more specific.
I like exactly how you're explaining it. Some people just like, it's like about moving your fingers. You know what I mean? Like they're moving their fingers. You're saying like don't even move that. That's all like stays in place. You're moving the whole arm, right? Like I mean, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the cool thing, again, vaginas are where babies come from. Like this happens. They are delicate, not fragile. Right. And more often than not, I've had to tell lovers like, no, go harder. Like you will not hurt me. It does not cause me pain. It does not cause me pain. And. And more often than not, I've had to tell lovers like, no, go go harder. Like, go harder. Like, like, you will not cause me pain. It does not cause me pain. It does.
Again, you know, your mileage will vary. Make sure that you're in communication with your partner
about this. But I've been like, you know, if you, you know, if I want to score it, you have to
like be pretty rigorous and be pretty fast and pretty firm in your movement in order to make it happen.
Yeah, see, I don't think that it has ever been explained exactly like that. I feel like it always is
like, oh, you take your fingers and do the come hither, you know, like it's the typical thing that
you hear. Right, right, right, right. And I don't actually feel like that's even that satisfaction.
Like some of that, yes, I think the come here feels good. Yeah. I think it feels good.
I think it feels good, especially when paired with like conalinas.
It doesn't feel great.
It's not the right kind of sensation that is necessary to trigger squirting.
And it's also important to know that you can, a woman can squirt without having a G-spot orgasm.
But she can also have a G-spot orgasm without squirting, right?
So you may do this technique and you're actually triggering a G-spot orgasm and she has like a lot of release and it feels really good and, you know, she looks like she's had an orgasm.
and you can also do this and create, you know, like ejaculate coming out of her body,
and it may not be paired with an orgasm.
So all of that really requires you to know your partner, to know her body,
to know the techniques leading up to using the technique that I've described
so that you will maximize the chance that she has both an ejaculation and an orgasm
and that you don't completely burn out your arm while you're doing it.
But wait, let me ask you this.
How do you know the difference as a woman between like a G-spot orgasm and another type?
Because if it's not coming with the squirt, right? If it's not coming with the ejaculate,
how would you know that it's coming from your G spot as opposed to someplace else?
That's a good question. You know, scientists will disagree on this, right? Like, there's a whole
school of thought that says that all orgasms are the same, that like all of them sort of originate
in the clitoris because that's where the major innervation takes place. And sure, that's, I think
it's an interesting theory. It's not my subjective experience. I wouldn't say that that's true for me.
The difference between a clitoral orgasm, a G-spot orgasm, an orgasm that takes place up near my cervix
and the A spot or the P-spot, those all feel very different. And orgasm that's like an anal orgasm
that's impacting my perennial sponge that we talked about earlier, like that feels very different.
All of them feel very different. You know, other than knowing like where you're being stimulated at the time,
I think that all of them, for all of us, have sort of a unique pattern or unique way that we experience them.
Like a clitoral orgasm can be like, you know, for me, how I would describe it is like high intensity, high vibration.
Yeah.
Short, spiky sensation.
And a G-spot orgasm is a lot more like lower rumbly.
It's not the high intensity.
It's like a lower intensity, even though it feels very, very strong.
It's more like a baseline.
the cervical orgasm doesn't feel so spiky.
It feels like it kind of plateaus,
like it just kind of starts and then it goes and goes and goes and goes.
Oh, really?
You know, they're all kind of distinct.
Yeah, that's how I experience.
I mean, yeah, they don't have like individual ups and downs.
It just sort of like is until it's not.
Yeah, interesting.
Yeah, I like those differences because, listen, I feel,
I don't know if those scientists that, you know,
talked about orgasms are the same,
where men, because as a woman, I have experienced,
and I don't know what they were,
but I experienced very different orgasms.
at different times. You know, I've experienced ones that feel very all over my body. And I think,
you know, more like what you said, the deeper, more thudderer one than the, you know, the clitoral,
right? Like, that's a totally different experience, you know, and I feel like, I don't know that I've
ever had a cervical one because the thought of somebody's, like, I'm not interested in my
cervix being touched, just like I don't really like pokey, pokey. Like, I don't know.
Cervical organs, I didn't know we're a thing. I'm like horrified by that, but that's like a real
thing you've had cervical orgasms, they feel good?
Well, and to be particularly, it's not the cervix itself, right?
Like, the cervix is innerated for more for, it doesn't really experience, like, pleasure, you know?
You know if you've hit it or you've had a speculum touch it.
It's not a pleasurable experience.
Yeah.
But to the front of the cervix and to the back, you have the anterior and posterior fornix.
And these are little pieces of flesh that are innervated.
They have different sensations.
They actually pick up on different nerves, and they pick up on different stimulation.
And they're innervated by the vagus nerve.
Oh, yeah, we know the vagus.
I know the vagus nerve.
They're innervated differently.
So the nerve that innervates the anterior and posterior forinix does not run through the spinal cord.
And I'm speaking very generally here.
There may be other nerves that actually do run through the spinal cord.
I'm not an anatomy expert.
But the way that it typically works, or the way that, like, most people experience it,
is that the anterior and posterior forinix don't run through the spinal cord.
They run through the front of the body.
They're a different system.
and they don't expose themselves until a woman, again, is very turned on.
They are way later dominoes.
They're later than the G-spot.
You really want to be honest.
Those are more like the last dominoes.
So what happens when a woman's body gets aroused is something called tenting, right?
Her uterus tents up.
It picks itself up.
The vagina tents.
Then it becomes larger, longer.
The vaginal canal elongates as the uterus picks itself up and sort of out of the way.
And as it does that, it exposes these.
two little pieces of skin, the anterior and posterior
fornex, and these two pieces
are way more stimulated
or easy to stimulate with like deep, heavy
thrusting. So they like
a thud, thud, thud. Whereas
a clitoris typically does not like a heavy
thud, right? It's
it prefers like a light touch.
Maybe even a feather light touch, maybe like a
buzzy little vibrator touch, but not like
thud, thud, pounding, right? Yeah.
But whereas the anterior and posterior
fornics actually do like a constant
thudding motion. This is why I tell guys
you know, don't just go in and start pounding her.
You do that, but there's a time and a place to do that,
but it is not until she's like very, very turned on
and you're maybe towards the end of, you know,
the sexual experience that you're having.
That, those are the parts of the body
that when they are stimulated in that way
can produce what we would call a cervical orgasm.
Right.
So these, I think these are good things to try after your yoni massage
because by the time you're done with that yoni massage,
all of that is plumped up and ready to go, right?
Like that's when you could maybe try to get your partner to squirt, find the G spot, see what feels good, right?
You know, listen, the fact that it's not even the cervix that's, I don't know why they call it cervical orgasm.
I guess the other terms would be wrong because it doesn't sound like it's hitting your cervix.
That's not what's turning you on.
It's these other two things that you're talking about, right?
But they call it your cervix.
That's what I thought it was.
I know women who have had them and love them, you know?
You've obviously had all of them.
Since you sound like you know so much about orgasms, like why are some women able to have
have multiple orgasms and some women can't. Is that something that can be learned? Yeah, many women are
able to train themselves to be able to have multiple orgasms. I have a YouTube video on this too.
The training process looks a little bit like after having that first orgasm, keeping either
stillness or like a little tiny bit of stimulation against the clit in particular for we're going
for multiple clitoral orgasms here, such that you're able to pick up and start.
using sensation to cause another orgasm.
I think, you know, for most women, they have one orgasm, right?
And then their clitoris feel, if they're just having one, their clitters can feel so sensitive.
Yeah.
Just, it can feel painful to have any sort of stimulation on it again after they've climaxed, right?
Yeah. But the idea is like if you just keep a finger there, for example, you don't release it.
You just hold it still.
Yeah.
Right?
You hold it still.
You breathe through it.
You kind of let the body come down, let arousal be crue.
a little bit. And then very, very slowly and very, very lightly, you begin to reintroduce sensation,
right? So you build the body's ability to tolerate sensation after an orgasm until the body's
able to tolerate more and more and more and more sensation after an orgasm to the point where
you can have a second orgasm and then beyond. And I think, you know, I can't speak to this
from a personal experience because I figured out how to masturbate when I was really young. I was
always figured out how I was having multiple orgasms at the age of three.
I was like, well, that felt good.
Let me see if I can do another one, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there are plenty of women who do share about their experience online about, you
becoming multi-orgasmic, but the process that I've described is sort of the one
that I see the most, which is just like keep going, but modify how you are going.
So if you're going in a 10 and you have orgasm, come all the way back down to a one.
Yeah.
Come all the way back down to a one and build your thing, no matter how long it takes, like find
the way to slowly, you know, non-linearly make your way back up to attend so that you could have
another orgasm, it's great when you can do that. And then we can also make decisions that you
could have one clitoral orgasm, but then you may be able to still have a G-spot orgasm.
Right. You may still be able to have a cervical orgasm or an anal orgasm. So we say, you know,
multi-orgasmic, but we're not being specific about what we mean. Which kind of orgasm are you
multi-orgasmic with? Yeah, no, that makes sense. That's actually a good.
tip. So don't go back to the clit. If it's over sensitive, maybe try some, maybe then go,
try to find that G spot. Because by that time, it's, it's definitely going to be easier to find,
right? Because you're super turned on. I also was told once that like if, you know, you're pushing
too hard or, like your first orgasm is too intense. That's why you, that's why you wouldn't
be able to have a second one, you know, because you're like trying too hard. I forget what,
like, the woman told me, but it was like kind of true because when I slowed down and did what she said
and made my orgasms less.
Instead of trying to push them out, just like breathe through them and make them last longer,
it changed the whole fucking game, you know?
And she said it's just because you're overstimulating in that first orgasm.
That's why you shouldn't have that overstimulation.
And that's probably like what all these people that get, you know, multiples just never did.
And all us girls that were only one and done were like overstimulated, you know.
And that's how we know what to do.
But if you slow it down and don't get overstimulated and breathe through and never let yourself,
push it out to go to the 10 and keep it at an 8.
Come that way, you could go again and again.
It really does work.
It's actually super interesting.
Yeah, maybe let the orgasm happen to you instead of trying to like juice it and
squeeze it out for all that it's worth.
Yeah, and over and your body is able to recover more quickly.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
So you could, so the squirting is more about, and it's very specific.
I like what you said like with the like the hand thing.
Like how like, I mean, is it is it, is it, does it take forever like once you figure
out. This is, well, this is one thing I've heard for sure is that once you are able to squirt,
like it is much easier to do it again and again. The first time is sometimes the hardest.
Correct, right? Yes. Yes. That has definitely been my experience. Every single year, it's been
easier and easier. Right. And now it, like, I don't even necessarily need to go through the whole
process in order to trigger a squirting organism. It can happen just through penetration, which is
something that could never happen to me before. I mean, maybe in my life I had had a handful of squirting
experiences through penetration, but they were unpredictable. They were sort of surprising and spontaneous.
And now they're happening more and more regularly. And I think a lot of that, we didn't really talk
about it. But a lot of squirting is also mental. It's not just the physical thing. You have to be
really mentally prepared to release and relax in that way. I often say you have to be willing to
pee on your partner because it does feel like peeing comes out of your urethra. You have to,
you have to be pretty relaxed to be able to let that happen. And if any party is like holding
on to control and like, you know, trying not to make it happen or trying not to release in that way,
then most people are pretty good at preventing themselves from having that experience. Yeah, no, I mean,
it makes sense because I remember having one of my friends tell me like, oh, you know, this guy,
I felt like I had to pee and he kept telling me to just do it. I was going to squirp, but like,
she didn't trust it, you know, because it didn't feel like it felt like she needed to pee,
you know, and that supposedly like what you're, you feel right before. And, you know, it's like the,
And, like, you know, you're not going to just pee in the middle of sex, right?
Like, it goes against everything you've been taught.
Yeah, I was going to say, yes.
Yes, I have peed in the middle of sex trying to squirt.
Oh, yes.
But if you go to the bathroom before you start being intimate, then you can pretty much count
on the fact that it's not going to be pee, right?
Yeah, well, that's the age-old debate.
You're going to have to talk about it because I can't stand the people that say it's
pee because, sorry, like, if you're into water sports and you're not putting shit down,
your bed's going to stink.
People could squirt all over beds and it's not going to stink.
So how are you telling me that it's pee?
Okay, like, sorry.
Well, I'm saying about when I was trying to pee.
No, no, no, I know, but there is an age.
I was just changing the subject.
Yeah, there's a big debate and people, you know,
and there was a study where a guy did, you know,
did like scans and showed that it was pee coming out.
Like, and that's what, but how can it be pee if it doesn't smell like pee,
taste like pee, stain like pee?
Right.
I mean, I don't get it.
So the long and short of it is that.
that it is liquid that is coming from the bladder.
They did a study with like internal scans or body that show that a woman can empty her
bladder before sex.
And then when she goes to have sex, her bladder starts to fill up with liquid, but that
liquid is not urine.
Okay.
urine goes through a very particular process of adding, like taking liquid, right?
And then adding the toxins and other things that the body needs to release into it through
the kidneys.
and then expelling it as urine, right?
But liquid can move into the bladder
without having to go through that process.
What it looks like is happening
is that that liquid moves into the bladder
so that it can be released through squirting.
One of the theories on that is that because of our propensity
towards urinary tract infections,
that squirting actually evolved as a protective mechanism
that cleared our bladder,
or rather cleared our urethra during sex
so that we were less likely to get a UTI.
So squirting may have actually evolved
to support us in this way.
So what happens in these scans is
when it goes into sex with an empty bladder,
all of a sudden there's all this fluid in her bladder,
she releases all the fluid, it's not urine,
and then after sex her bladder fills up with urine again.
So that is why in those studies
where they took samples of individual women squirt
that some of them did have pee in them
because again, it is coming from the bladder.
Maybe her bladder wasn't completely empty
and therefore it was a combination of little urine
and little squirt in it.
And some of them didn't have urine in them.
And again, it's been a, it's one of those things where, like, thank God, scientists,
science research dollars are actually going towards women's sexuality, but it took a long time to actually get a centralized theory on what was going on with squirting.
And I'm sure there's actually a lot more to discover, you know, if we continue studying it.
Oh, please.
I could just take that and put it as an episode, please, for all the people that make comments all the time when I talk about squirting and how it's not pee.
I'm still going to get comments talking about how it is.
they, you know, blow the more. Like I said, when I was first, when I was first learning how to squirt,
like trying to squirt, I didn't know how to do it, right? So I wouldn't always,
you're in my, do my bladder first. Then I'd be like trying to make it happen, right? So I'm
trying to like, push down. And then I would, you know, on several occasions, I did end up
peeing. And I was like, oh my God, this is like not what I was trying to do. And no,
you know, then that's why you got to get a waterproof blanket, you know? Yeah, yeah.
And that's the other thing is you, you have to be able to relax enough to be, to even take the chance
of peeing, right? It helps if you know you're not going to destroy your bed. So put down a
waterproof blanket. That's like rule number one for squirting. And for the yoni massage too, I highly
recommend using coconut oil. If she tolerates it, then you can also use like a lube or rather an
oil that has CBD in it. That can be really nice too. And you're going to want to get one of those
waterproof sheets anyways, right? Because you're going to want to be able to like oil up and
slick up your hands as you're giving her the massage and not have to worry about dripping oil on
your sheets. So that's another area of overlap between those two.
Yeah, I love it. Okay, so listen, Caitlin, people could get, could watch your tutorial. I love a tutorial. Okay. And I think it's like super important because it's like tells you exactly what to do the moves to do while you're doing the yoni massage. So can you give out of the information in case anyone wants to actually see it in action, right? Do you have video tutorials on your website or that they could take? Yeah. I do. Yes. So the course that we talked about today, I have a yoni massage course where not only do I walk you through all of.
of the anatomy, all of the touch techniques, all of the foundational mental and mindset techniques,
the attunement techniques, like how to breathe, how to get into tune with her body, how to hold a
safe space, how to set up the room. Like we give you literally everything to answer every single
question that you may have on how to do that so that when you go to do it, you can do it
confidently because your attitude and how you approach it is going to be the greatest predictor
of success more than any technique that I could give you. So all of that, plus I have two women
that actually volunteered to have me give them a yoni massage on camera.
So you get to see me massaging them.
You get to hear me in the conversation that I have with them as I am massaging them.
And so you literally get to experience it, see it for yourself, see my hands demonstrating
the technique.
I mentioned also that we have one on anal massage.
Same is true for that.
I had another friend of mine come in and I gave her the anal massage on camera.
So again, you get to hear all about why it matters, how it works.
all of the touch techniques and the mindset techniques and then you get to actually see it happen.
So those are really, they're very holistic.
Yeah.
No, I think that's key to be able to really see it in action.
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
I would way rather just see it.
Like that's my goal, right?
Like I learned so much by watching.
Me too.
You know, usually when I'm in a class, I'm like, okay, I saw it, now I want to try it out
for myself.
And then that was exactly what happened with this.
And I also talk about the distinction between yoni massage for healing and a yoni
massage for pleasure because we've talked about them as if they're sort of like, you know,
interchangeable or that you could switch back and forth between them, but there's also things
to consider with each one of those as well. So like is your goal to help or heal? Is your goal
to become more orgasmic? I gave you all the information that you need to approach those two things
in either way. And then we also have a course maker square. And it is the same thing. I do a video
demo. It's on a on a demo model at that time because I wanted to get into sort of like the
particulars and it wasn't appropriate to have a female body on that one.
But again, the thing that people really like about the maker's work course is that like,
I've given you the technique, right?
But if it's not working, it's not working easily or it doesn't feel good for her or any of those things,
like all of the things that kind of get in the way, I can give you the technique all day.
But I can't necessarily tell you why it's not working for you unless you get into the theory
behind it, the anatomy behind it.
And I explain to you all of the various obstacles that have to be overcome for a woman to be able to swear.
Right.
And once you've got all of that, then it's a lot easier.
Like the technique is the least important part, if I'm honest.
Like, you know, on one hand it's the most important part, but on the other it's the least
important part, right?
Like anyone can learn the technique.
It's about applying it.
And you don't know how to apply it, then you're not going to be able to make it successful.
And if you do, you're not going to be able to replicate that success.
And on all of these courses, on all of my courses, if your listeners use the discount
code strictly, they will get a special discount on these courses just for listening to
our interview here today.
Awesome. Okay, good. And I'll put the links
to those courses in the
description, right? So they could just go right
there, the Yoni massage one, the squirting
one. Those are the
two we talked about. I'll put them in the description. But
will they get 10%? Will they get
like a discount on anything that they get on
your website with that,
with Strictly?
Or just those. I mean, I can edit this out.
You just tell me. Okay. We can do that.
I think my team just has to go in and turn
it on or off. Yeah, I'll just put it to do
for those two courses so we make sure they go to those.
Okay, well, just like, so you're going to get
something off if you use the code strictly.
I'm going to put that in the description along with the direct
links to those courses so people could
learn more. Thanks so much.
Yeah, and you can go to Caitlin v.neal.com
and then put in code strictly to get a discount.
Yeah, perfect.
Thank you, Caitlin.
Give out your website.
That's the website, right?
Your YouTube channels, Caitlin V, correct?
My YouTube is Caitlin V.
my name is spelled C-A-I-T-L-I-N-E-L.com.
All right, perfect.
That's important to know because I think I spelled it with Y.
It's with an I?
It's with two eyes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay, cool.
I know.
Yeah, I don't know.
Even when I Google you, I Google you with Caitlin with the Y and it always comes up.
And how did I know, you know, I'm dyslexic.
My mind doesn't see things properly.
Like I've never seen it.
No, I even have friends.
I have close friends that will use my, spell my name interchangeably with the I and the Y.
And thankfully, we have a large enough imprint on the internet.
On the web, so it comes up.
You can pretty much spell it any which way, and it'll still come up.
Yeah, that's why I think I'd ever got it because you're always right there at the top.
So that's good to know.
All right, listen, Caitlin, thanks so much for calling in.
You have a book coming out in October.
You're going to be back on when that comes out.
No, book coming out in January.
But we will be back to discuss my book.
Which is held harder, better, longer, stronger.
It comes out in January of 2026.
And I will be so honored for you to have me back on.
And we can share more about that.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay, thank you, Caitlin. Thanks so much for calling back in. Bye. Bye.
Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly
Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback
and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August
25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.
kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.
There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said,
17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and
rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like
Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really
like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short.
Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the
whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available
coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or
pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does
not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link
from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody
shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own
pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of
money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.
I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.
It's private, like I said.
All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook,
the ebook or the paperback.
Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.
That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.
And I will send you the link to Discord.
So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.
It's the strictly anonymous podcast.
