Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1257 – Miz Darling is a Dominatrix with a Spanking Kink

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

Miz Darling is a dominatrix with a spanking kink and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how her first marriage wasn’t satisfying because her husband didn��t understand her kink, how a free pass to explore it led to their divorce, when she realized she was into spanking and how she experiences intimacy through kink play instead of sex, when and how she got involved in the kink community, how and why she went from being a bottom to becoming a dominatrix, how she learned the craft and screens clients, the biggest misconceptions about kink, the fetishes she specializes in, why she thinks more men have fetishes than women, the open relationship she’s in now and how it’s set up plus a whole lot more. You can find her here: https://mizdarling.ca You can tell your fetish story here: https://complicatedpleasures.ca **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.  Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2532-anonymous⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because they change everyone's voices and everyone's names. You could call me from a phony number. I don't care to know exactly who you are. I just want to hear your true story. So if you got an interesting, true, naughty story that you want to talk about while renaming remaining anonymous, send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast. Atgm.com or just go to my website, Strictly Anonymouspodcast.com and click on be on the show.

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The thing about SEC that everybody loves is it's not just a place to hook up, right? Like you could post picks. It's an online date adult website. But it also has all the munches and the meet and greets and the parties and all that kind of good stuff in your area as well as in every area. So if you're traveling and you want to meet other cross-dusters like you, maybe you could look for them over at SDC. You get a free trial, click on the link or use my code 37712. Okay. Today I have on a great guest.

She's so fucking smart. She's so interesting. Her name is Ms. Darling. She's a dominatrix. But she also has a major spanking kink, spanking fetish. I mean, she was very into spanking from a very young age. We talk about that. And then she was married from a very young age and just realized that she wasn't getting

her kink needs met in that relationship. She talks about that. And then she talks about how eventually her and her guy did open up their relationship. So she could go and get her kink needs met. And when she just got them met outside of that. relationship she realized like that's what she wanted to do and that's what was missing and then she set out to get more into the world of kink it was right around COVID she talks about the whole experience how she started meeting people how she got involved in the world and how she eventually became a

dominatrix it was like a weird chance meeting and that turned her from being the one who liked to be spank to being a dominatrix she explains that whole story what she does with people in when she meets them what you know what she offers but there's so much more information in this episode you have to listen to it. That's like her bigger picture story, but she really goes deep into a lot of different things because she's super knowledgeable when it comes to the kink and fetish world. She is writing a book with Amanda, the kink consultant, who recommended her to be on the show, and they're putting a call out to people who have fetishes or even partners of people who have fetishes that want to be a part of their book. They're doing interviews to gather information. So she's

going to talk about that towards the end if you want to get involved. There will be links that she talks about in the description. But her story's super interesting. So I'm getting it right to you be right back on with Ms. Darling. Hi, Ms. Darling. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm great. Thank you so much, Kathy, for having me on. No, let's thank the King Consultant, who I love, Amanda Dames.

She, uh, you and her are friends. You guys are actually writing a book together. When we get to that part of your story, you're going to give a shout out because you're looking to interview people with fetishes and stuff for your book, which I think is super interesting. And this is going to air on a Fetish Friday episode. So I'm sure you're going to have a lot of people writing in, but that's how I heard about you. You are a dominatrix who lives in Canada, right?

That's the Ms. Darling. That's your name, your dominatrix name. Toronto, Canada. Yeah, Ms. Darling from Toronto, Canada. Yeah, and I know. I remember when I interviewed Amanda, she started out as a dominatrix. So, like, did you guys meet that way? Like, how do you guys become friends before I get your life story?

No, we actually met because we're both plugged into the spanking fetish. Thank you, too. Yeah, we had mutual friends in common that kept, we kept coming to parties and people would say, to me, like, have you met Amanda? And people were asking her, have you met Ms. Darling? And one party, we actually had rooms across the hall from one another and we just kind of waved, but I didn't really meet her until last February where we made a date to like, let's have coffee. Everyone says that we're going to get along. And then I talked about the book project and she was immediately like, oh, I'm so jealous. I wish I was writing a book like that. And I said, well, why don't you co-write it with me because I could use the help? And she and I are very, very aligned on the mission. Yeah. And it turns out you guys have a similar story. I mean, the fact that she also was a dominatrix at one point, you know, is kind of interesting. You have that in common too. So let's get your life story. How old are you know, if you mind telling me, you don't have to say exact age. I don't know, some women are weird about their age, but you can tell me your age around your age. And like, let me know,

like your status, relationship status. If you're single or married, or dating someone? Yeah, I am 39 years old. I have a relationship with somebody in the kink community. We are both consensually non-monogamous, but that is just a necessity for my work as a dominatrix. And, yeah, I came out until COVID, I was completely closeted, lifelong spanking fetishist,

but completely closeted, had not made any connections in the community. And then COVID was just an outpouring of people to my local scene. think all of us collectively were like, you know, nothing makes you realize that life is short, like a mass pandemic. Yeah, yeah. But wait, when you say closeted, what were you doing that was closeted? Being a dominatrix, just all your kinks and stuff that you were into?

Like, what was in the closet at that point before COVID? Oh, everything. Like, again, I was married to- Oh, okay. Then we got to go back. Okay, yeah. Let's go back before COVID. What was going on then?

You were married. I was married. So I married my high school boyfriend, which is not something I recommend people do because you change a lot in your 20s and as adulthood. But he was a nice man and he understood this part of me, this fetish part of me, as well as, you know, we grew up reading Dan Savage, the sex columnist, both of us, and the idea of good giving and game. I had a partner who understood this part of me, who was willing to try to engage it but didn't really get. get it. And I just thought that was the best I was going to get. So we got married. And then as many people in the kink scene, or many people with fetishes realize, trying to do or exchange and impact play with somebody who doesn't really get it as either a top or a bottom is pretty unsatisfactory. So it just wasn't working. And during the pandemic, I said to him, like, hey, I really need to

explore it. Like, you know, before I die, I have to explore this part of myself. But I talk to so many people in the kink and fetish community who say I was just going to try it one time just to scratch the itch and see what I was what I was missing yeah and I think a little bit of that was for me too but then as soon as I engaged with this I just felt at home or like you're like you felt like you're found who you were or you were like where you were supposed to be yeah absolutely and just different things like I'd always had issues with anxiety and as soon as I started doing impact play it just cleared up. You're kidding.

Yeah, no, I used to get panic attacks while driving. They were managed. Like, I did therapy and you had to handle them. But they just, after my first play session, they went away and they have never come back. Wait a second. That's fascinating to me because I've had anxiety and panic attacks my whole life. And they could go away for 10 years and then come back. You know, you know how it is, right?

And then if you get your nervous system gets activated, you could have them for no reason. Like it's a nightmare, you know, and you just think it's like, oh, God, I'm just going to have this for the rest of my life. do you, did you ever do any kind of investigating of why that would have gone away through what you did? Do you know? Or just a weird thing? What's your theory? Yeah, I have my theories. I have my theories.

So I think it has to do with the default mode network, which is our background program that runs in our brain when nothing else is running. And it's always connected into like, you know, it's thinking about the future or the past. It's not thinking about the present. And there is something about kink play. And I don't care if you're a top or a bottom. When you're in the moment, whether you're reading somebody or whether you're going through the experience, you are so present in the way that meditation will get you to the same place. Right.

And certain drugs will get you to the same place. But I think just spending time in that intensely present moment is extremely therapeutic. And I think that has a big, I think we're going to see studies backing this up in the future that that's a really important thing. Yeah, that's super interesting. But let me just go because now I remember exactly where we're at. I mean, this is like you tell your husband during COVID, like you need to go. experience it. And then did that lead to your guys divorce? You're not with that person anymore, correct? I'm not with him anymore. It was one of those things where, you know, I was just going to make friends

that I was. For a long time, I was just making friends and I played partners and things seemed in balance. But I think I had an experience with a long time play partner that, you know, I'd always heard the expression making love and that always sounded flowery and ridiculous. I didn't know what that meant. Me too. And I had an impact scene. Yeah. I had an impact scene with somebody that it was after a really intense, like something had kind of gone wrong. And he did this just to kind of center me and bring me back into the moment.

And it felt that feeling of making love. And I just thought, oh, my God, here's one more thing that I can't share with my, you know, marital partner. And I just realized for me it was a slippery slope. Like, I'm going to fall in love with somebody in the scene. And you don't reward a partner who lets you go exploring. by saying, hey, I'm leaving you for somebody else. So I just decided before that happened, I was going to cut ties. And I'm sad that it had to go that way because he was and is a very nice man.

Yeah, but listen, I'm sure he's in a better place. You're in a better place. At the end of the day, everybody's happy. Like, I'm not that type of, like, I think endings are very hard and they're very difficult and they're very tragic in one sense, but they always lead to new beginnings for everybody involved and everyone winds up where they're supposed to be. So, you know, life goes on, right? it's not like so many years later, I'm sure he's in a better place too.

Yeah, let's hope that. It's one of those hard things and what led us, one of the things that led me to pursue this book project is that we had a very functional marriage. It just was missing a core component. And I see people that can make, I see lots of fetishists who are in working relationships with vanilla that they're going to stay with and it's going to work. And I see lots where it crashes and burns. And I'm so curious, what are their qualities?

in common that make some of them work and some of them not. I don't know. Yeah, I like that. And that's what you're going to do in your book. I think that that's like really interesting information that you guys are going to study and put out there at the end. Let me ask you this before your husband, you know, how old were you when that you realized that you were into impact play and all that kind of stuff? Oh gosh. Like I, my memories, like many people in this banking fetish community, my memories go back to early childhood. Like I have a memory of being three-year-old. years old and the girl down the street and us playing, taking turns playing house, taking turns being the mommy and the baby and doing spanking play. And I always wonder, what happened to her?

Am I going to run into her in the scene? Are we both spankos now? Or was that just a part of me already? Yeah, maybe she like triggered it and brought it out. A lot of these things, especially fetishes and stuff, because I have a whole fetish Friday and I talk to people all the time and fetishes and kinks. A lot of times rear, you know, calm out. Or people, notice them or they have like an inkling that this is going on like very, very young. So, you know, the question is, are you born with it or are you wired into it? And I think maybe the answer is both. Yeah. I think the leading sort of theory right now is that you're predisposed to have this kind of sexuality and the environment chooses what you fix it on. But

my question to that is always, I always wonder if I wasn't a spanking fetishist, would I have been more likely to be a general BDSM impact player or would I be more likely to have like a foot fetish or some other kind of fetish. My question to that is always, I always wonder if I wasn't a spanking fetishist, would I have been more likely to be a general BDSM impact player or would I be more likely to have like a foot fetish or some other kind of fetish? Oh, you mean like if you didn't, you mean if that girl played with you would choose, would you have been more into shoes instead of spanking it just because she spanked you that you got into that? Is that what you're saying? Or no?

Or if we're wired to be this way, am I wired for power exchange and, like, pain play, or am I wired for fetishism? Because there's fetish without pain play, and there's pain play without fetish. Yeah. I'm just curious which way it leans. Yeah, yeah. And these are all the things you're going to do in the book. I could go off to 10 different tangents with you because I love how, like you're very curious person, you know, and you kind of think things through. And that's the way I'm wired too.

So I'm always curious about all this kind of stuff. So you knew early on that you were into spanking. And so when you met your guy, like you met him in high school, right? So you, you know, you meet him super young. Do you put that out on the table to him, like all the stuff that you're into? And was it just spanking? It was mainly spanking. And I was, I think I told him when I was like 15 years old.

I've always been sexually aware. Like by the time I was 12, I'd like read all the public library books on sexuality. And I understood what this was and what it meant for me by that age. So I just kind of came out and told him. And he, you know, he was accepting about it but didn't really engage with it. And it was a few years later before we realized like this is like, no, no, if we're going to stay together, this is a thing that I need to be involved in our sex life. And when the push came to shove on that being a deal breaker, he would engage with it. But it was always really awkward, you know, anyone who's had the experience of trying to give pain to somebody who doesn't want to take pain or possibly even more awkward, coaching someone to give you pain.

That's on it to it. Yeah. It's supposed to be something that's done to you. Like, yeah, it's very, very awkward and unsatisfying a lot of the time. And it's funny now, as a dominant now, like, professional, I really see how coaching can make the difference. But I don't think that most couples realize that they have some kind of access to that. So you're floundering around the dark. If you're not, you know, if you, I think if people come into a scene where they're like, yeah, your husband can take that pain.

Don't worry about hurting him. I'm going to spank him really hard in front of you. He's going to have bruises and you're going to see he's going to be fine. I feel like even that helps people get into it, but people don't realize that they have options and access to things like that. Yeah. And now, like, when you're talking about, like, my husband, I want him to do this, but it was kind of awkward. And when this is like just, this is spanking, correct? Like at this point, this is spanking.

Yeah. But spanking, not like, oh, you want someone to slap your ass a little bit. Like, this is hardcore spanking, right? Like, this is like real deal spanking where you leave bruises. And is it with a hand? Is it flogging? Is it all of the above? Like, what were you into?

definitely hand and hairbrush were very big for me paddles but there's also like a disciplinary aspect like i've always been attracted to kind of oCD men and i think it's because they have so many of those like buttons to press you know i think about all the times i left hair in the shower and i'm like if you just spank me for the hair in the shower maybe i would have done something about it or at least we would have had some kind of fun wrapped around this like you know annoying thing about living with somebody like annoying annoying day to day stuff Yeah, oh my God, that's so funny. Or by first, you know. So the hairbrush or the hand is like what you were into. And your guy just wasn't able to go there. He tried his best, but he didn't have a lot of coaching from me because, like most people starting off, I felt very awkward about it. And was it during COVID that you got your first free pass or were you guys always

open to having other plate partners through your relationship? He was somebody that I could talk to about every, like no subject was off the table. We were very good communicators. So I think in the past we had brought up the idea of experimenting in various ways, whether that meant bringing somebody else in that we could play with or going and exploring. But I think he was very satisfied. He was very satisfied sexually and things were working for him. And it was just my side and my sort of piece there that I pushed for during COVID.

Like I kind of talked to him knowing that I was probably going to get a yes. Oh, okay. So, but before that, you guys were monogamous. Yeah, that's correct. Okay, so you pushed for that and he was like, okay, you could go and do that. Were there any rules or boundaries that you guys, that he was more important to him or that you guys had in place? Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, as with most, came forward, and then it's my current situation with my current partner,

I don't have sex with other people or anything that exchanges fluids or could bring home STDs or anything too romantic or like overly vanilla sexual, which is not what I'm really looking for anyway, so that makes it easy. And then just rules about safety and, you know, I need to know where you're going. I need to have, you know, you have to check in or just basic things that I'm not going to get. because the first time I met my first partner, I just went off to an Airbnb log cabin at the edge of the city. And it was, again, I took precaution. People have my phone location. I was going to check in all this stuff.

But when I'm thinking about it, I'm like, if you've never done something like this before, this is a terrifying thing to do. I did meet them for coffee first and get like a feeling for somebody. But on paper, it's a scary thing sometimes. Yeah, for sure. But you did say like you made love to somebody and it felt like very intense during that process and that's when you realize like, oh, this isn't going to work.

So obviously there was some sort of sex going on with these people when you were with your husband. No, no. So that experience was just a spanking experience. But it made me realize that I'm not wired, like making love, I'm not wired to do that through traditional penetrative sex. Like that doesn't do, that doesn't get me there. Okay. This thing and connecting with people who get this thing that I'm wired for is what gets me there. So you had a spanking experience that felt,

more loving and more intense and more intimate than with your husband? Yes, yes. Oh, okay, that's interesting. I wouldn't enough, you know, to me, I'm thinking, oh, sex, like you said, it was like making love. Like, I wouldn't think that spanking could be making love, but it is for somebody that's super into spanking. Yes, and there is a certain, even in just like general sort of kink play, as a top, you

are so attuned to your partner. Like, there's no level of focus I can think of, of a, attention on to another person, like when you're reading them for pain and you're making sure they're okay. It's very connective. Yeah, interesting. And you didn't feel that with your husband, because he was kind of like an amateur and wasn't really, didn't know what he was doing. And like you said, maybe some people could be coached to be that present and to bring to the table what these people that are really into it bring. That is so satisfying compared to what your husband was doing, which was he's just like fucking spanking you like any regular person would

thinking like that's what you do. But you're saying it's just much more intense than that. And detailed. It's much more intense. Yeah, yeah. And I also think that some people are, even though they're spanking fetishes, can experience that feeling of love and connection sexually in other ways. So that might be part of what we find out works for some people. But I think for a lot of people, they're wired in such specific ways that making love, quote

unquote, happens through a particular form of kink play. Oh, and yours is spanking. Same with Amanda. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah.

Okay, so you start to play and then you realize like it's not going to work out with your husband. You guys get divorced. Now, what do you do after that? Is that when you become a dominatrix and a top? Because like that, like typically I would think the person getting spanked is the bottom, right? Not the dominatrix. Like how do you do that switch? So it's a common thing I observe in the scene that a lot of women enter as bottoms and a lot of men enter as tops.

And then as you start exploring a lot more people. start switching. So I did enter as a lot more of a bottom. But as I kept doing this and I started dating people in the scene, you know, I would have, if I was, if my regular romantic partner was a top, that's a lot of play as a bottom. So I had all these friends that I'm used to playing with and I'm used to bottoming for. A lot of them were switches. So I'm like, well, I'll just start topping you. And it was a little bit anxiety-ritting it for, like anxiety-inducing at first, just because there's a lot more technique and skill involved in topping, but it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, having never got to really experience that.

And it was almost a year later when I was visiting friends in Hawaii, and I ran into a dominatrix named Kalana King, who, you know, we were, we got stuck in a national park together because we got, we stayed too late and the gate closed. Oh, my God, that's funny. Yeah, she was very active. organizing events in her local kink community, but she had recently started doming professionally, just as kind of a casual side thing. She's like, well, you know, I'll do this part-time. And I just asked her a million questions. And I always had this idea of if you're a professional

dominant, you know, you set up your, you have a physical location, you set up your hours, people walk in, you have this experience. And she said, no, no, no, no, no. You can do it any way you want to. Like her thing was very much about being winded and dine. Like she does the interview, you take her out to dinner. If she likes you, you can become one of her regulars. Like, it was very much this luxurious kind of seduction experience. But it made me realize that, hey, there's no rules in this. I can do it however I want. And that gave me a lot of confidence. I came back to, flew back to Toronto thinking, I'm going to be a dominatrix. And I went and did it. So it was really kind of like by chance. It wasn't something you were thinking about. There was no shift

going on with you. It was just really like that conversation and that experience with that woman who, who talked about it that sort of set you off on that path. Well, definitely. I've always been interested in sexuality. And like, you know, I used to, again, I read all the books. I read the Dan Savage columns. I watched sex with Sue. I thought about being a sexual therapist.

But I really just wasn't that interested in vanilla sex. And I worried deep down that I might be kind of prudish, which is funny now. I don't know how prude. Yeah. But as soon as I started getting into the kink scene, I'm like, oh, there's so much here that's interesting. And it takes this idea of human sexuality and brings it from like a biomechanical evolutionary process into something creative and cerebral and hugely wide ranging and diverse. And I was just really interested in having any kind of job that took me on that path. And so did you start

studying? Like did you start taking classes? Like how do you go from, you know, not being a dominatrix to becoming one? So I did take a few classes. Again, there's, there's a lot of support. I was connected to my local kink community, which was a huge source of support. Like, yeah, I had friends. I'd already done a lot of spanking, topping with my friends and various impact play with friends. And again, an experienced bottom is really a great person to lead you through things. I had a friend who taught me how to use a belt, just like practicing on a pillow, and he'd say, no, no, you're okay, you've got the aim, but you're a woman. People are going to want to see you stand way back and raise the belt high in the air and bring it crashing down. So

coach me on that and then he'd be like, okay, you're ready and you'd move the pillows and get down and bend over and I'd practice on him. But just going to my local parties or to demos or things like that. And I would also be very honest when I had a client who was interested, I remember early on, because I do kind of maternal style domestic spanking, I quickly attracted people in the adult baby diaper fetish community. And yeah, and people, I would be very honest, but I'm like, I haven't done a lot of this kind of play, whether was that kind of play or other things people were interested in. But as long as I was honest and I had the basics and like especially safety protocol for certain things,

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Or it was the kind of thing I could reach out, you know, go to my local play party and say, hey, I've never done handstrapping before. I have a hand strap who wants to let me practice. I'd get a line of friends that let me practice on them. So, yeah, because I would assume that, because I've, you know, I've talked to a lot of people that are into BDSM and people who go to dungeons and people who have seen Dominatrix. And, you know, there's a lot of different things that people want. So I would assume there's some sort of learning.

that needs to take place. There's flogging and there's a stinging kind of pain and thuddy kind of pain and there's all different kinds of tools you could use and tying people up and rope play and all that kind of stuff. Like you do kind of have to learn that somehow. Did you just like learn as you went along because people, you were allowed to practice and stuff and because you were in the community for so long anyway? Yeah, that's the basic. But again, if you have friends in the community, when I first started off, I would make playdates with friends in the king community saying like, hey, I want to learn this kind of scene. Can I come over? Are you free Sunday?

Can I come over and we can play like this? Yeah. And most people are happy to help you with that. Yeah. So you were highly involved in the King community. Now, was that after your divorce that you got into that world and started going to, like, I'm assuming there were clubs or parties or whatever? Yes.

Again, coming out through COVID, nothing was open. Right. So I made friends online first. But then as soon as the munches and the parties started opening up again, I was very lucky to connect to some people that were well established in the local Toronto scene and that could tell me, you know, go to this munch, come to this party. These people are safe. You like this person. And they really connected me to a larger net very quickly. Could you explain to people what munches are? I know what they are. But whenever I have someone on that talks about them,

I'll always get one or two people that ask because they've never heard of them, you know. So just explain what a munch is. Yes. Yes. So a munch is a kink event, but it's not, a play party. It's usually hosted at just a bar or a restaurant you know in the back or the second floor or whatever and people just dress in normal clothing and you go there and it's a space for you to

just meet other people who are kinky or have fetishes and talk about things in an environment that you're not expected to play in. It's just social. It's kind of like a meat and it, right? It's kind of like a meat and greed but they call it something different in the swinger world and to me when I hear it's a much

it's more in the kink community. That's what they call it in that world. You're not going to, like a swinger, me in Greek, because they have them as well. They don't call them Munches. That's the first time I heard about Munches was from somebody, a Dom, who was in the world. And I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. And like I said, a lot of people don't know what they are. So you started to going, going to them. And so since nothing was open, there were, there were parties at people's houses that you were going to? Yeah. Before that, I remember, again, I would meet a lot of people online and then do Zoom calls with them. Or I remember, doing walks in the park, you know, six feet apart or masked or whatever just to meet people socially at first. And, and yeah, at small parties, this thing started opening up more.

So, yeah, it was a weird time to enter because I think I came at the kink scene in a different order than people normally do. Like, very often a munch is a person's first starting place. The munch came much later for me. And I mean, what I think would really surprise me and I think what a lot of people would be surprised if they, if all they ever knew about BDS. Mark King was like that book, 50 Shades of Gray, that like it's all about sex, right? Because it's so, what was so interesting to me, the first time I had a Dom on, and I learned that it's like not about sex at all. You know what I mean? There's so many other things that are going on. And I was like, oh, my God, like how I had it so wrong. There's so much like for play that goes on.

But it's like in a different way, foreplay. Yes. And the social part is a huge thing. Like, again, I have friends in the scene that have interests completely opposite to mind. We're never going to play together. But I think just being out in an area where you can be yourself and be open about it with other people who are okay with themselves and are out about it is a huge thing. And then, sorry, I'm just trying to think what we, what we just said that I was going to comment on. More, I guess maybe about like the, how it's not about sex, but there is that like when you're making a connection. There's the foreplay in your world is very different than the foreplay when it comes to sex, like, especially if you're going

to be subbing for somebody and they're going to be topping you and spanking you. There's a lot of stuff that goes involved beforehand. Very true. Yeah, there's a lot of negotiation and getting to know people and feel safe is a huge part of it. But also, yeah, my vanilla friends are continually shocked and surprised when I say, you know, I go to these local play parties. Most of my friends have seen me completely naked or partially naked at this point. And I don't have sex at them. People don't have sex on them. I go away for these big national spanking conventions in Las Vegas. I don't have sex with anybody. Most people don't. Like, it's just, it's not, that's not what we're going for. That's not the main event. So what is the main event and what are you going for? Because, I mean,

I would assume that if you're getting spanked, I know that's not sex or penetrative or whatever, but like, are you turned on by that? Sometimes, I always say that BDSM play is kind of sexually transcendent. There is, like, it's the core of my sexuality. Yes, it's what I think about that gets me to orgasm. But there is a huge social aspect where sometimes it's just, silly fun with your friends. There's a connective aspect. There's a therapeutic aspect. When I go to spanking parties, I'll play with people. And sometimes I'm turned on, but sometimes it's just like a cathartic scene or a way to reconnect with people or just, you know, get a bunch of bottoms together and we'll be brats and play pranks and it's silly. So it can be a lot, it can be many, many different

things. Yeah, so interesting. And I think so many people don't understand that. I only understand it because I've talked to so many people, but it was very surprising to me at first. I thought, oh, I'm getting this Dom on. It's going to be full of sex. You know what my audience loves? I'm like, there's no sex involved. There's lots of writing and emails back and forth and questions and contracts. You know, and I don't know, this is very off topic, but like I wonder because you're

very curious. Like I always think to myself when I talk to anyone that's into BDSM or the kink world or whatever, like they seem to be maybe more intelligent. Like I wonder if they've ever done a study that the people that are into stuff like this are just love a higher IQ. so this is like something that they need as opposed to just like regular sex. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I'm biased on the matter because I'm part of that community. But I've often commented that I'm like, yeah, our minds must be set up in fairly complex ways.

That's what I think. For things to get twisted in such a weird and interesting way. Yeah, that you, that this is how you enjoy it, that this is what gives you pleasure and this is how you need it because it's so complex and it's so intellectual and it's so like heavy and deep that I just think it just takes somebody like, you know, if you were just going to do a simple IQ test and IQ, like, you're just born with that. So I'm not insulting anyone, you know, or complimenting. It's just like it is what it is, but I just tend to think, whenever I'm talking to somebody that's involved in this, they seem like highly intelligent people. And I think that that's, same with Polly people. I think that's

same thing with Polly. Because there's just so much more to it. What? Yeah, all that requires huge levels of communication ability. And yeah, it's an interesting one. I've, in the same vein as what I said about, I go to the play parties and I don't have sex. The same thing with my sessions. Like, I don't do anything hands-on sexually with people, but people do want some kind of sexual release during sessions some of the time. But for the most part, I always tell people, I have more people who come to my sessions to cry than to have an orgasm. Yeah, super interesting. Yeah, no. Listen, look at how you had a session one time and your anxiety went away. I mean, same thing, right? It must be healing on a certain level. Let's get to that point

where you start to see people. So like you meet that girl, you decide you want to be a dominatrix and then you start going out. And I mean, did you, like was your, do you remember you that first client that you had? I think you spoke, you brought him up before. Like, do you remember what that scene was? And where did you do it? Like, do you have a dungeon that you go to and work out of? So, yeah, I have a, I'll say I have a background in small business marketing. So that made the process of like getting it off the ground and promoting and getting first clients very, uh, that was a big help. Yeah. But yeah, there are three dungeons that I'm aware

of in the city that rent out, that you can just book space with as a practitioner. And I would meet somebody there. My first session with somebody was they were not a spanko. They were interested in kind of general fendom dominance, mistress slave kind of play

with some impact. And I had done enough of that at that point with friends in the local kink community, just like play sessions at parties that I went in. Super nervous and just kind of, I'm like, okay, well, this is what I have planned. This is what I'm going to do, this person. They're coming along for the ride, and I'm just going to try and be attuned to them. And I think it was a really good session. So, yeah, it was a great experience. Right. But nervous,

of course, going in because it was your first time. Now, what is the intake process like for people when they come to, like when they go to a dominatrix? Like, what would someone expect if there's something that they want to do, but they've never done before? So it's extreme, this is where it's completely different. There's no rules on how you want to do things. Some people do kind of set up hours and take people on a more casual basis. For me, I have people send me an email through my website. I schedule a half hour Zoom call, like a paid Zoom call, where I use that as a time to get to know people and go over preferences and boundaries and talk about basically what are we going to do in the session. And that's also part of a vetting process for me because it's amazing how much you learn to trust your instincts once you start doing this kind of play. I get a bad vibe from somebody, I'm just, I don't even need to question it. I'm just like, that's a no. It happens extremely rarely. But it's things like, you know, I'll be talking to someone and I'm like, this person is not communicating, they're not listening. They don't seem to be, they're pushing against my boundaries, always a bad sign. Yeah. What are your boundaries?

I mean, boundaries in terms of, like, I have, I have, I have limits and I have just general personal boundaries. Like, my personal boundaries are just about, I need to be compensated for my time. So if I have somebody who's constantly demanding my attention, we need to have a reality check on how that has to go down. Yeah. But in terms of, like, are you asking in terms of like my play limits? Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.

I mean, you said, like, there is no sex. Yeah. Yeah, there's no sex. I don't, I don't do anything what I would call hands-on. In fact, I'd say the only time my hand touches a penis is if you want to do cock spanking. So I'm not hands-on in that way. I don't do, I joke that I don't do anything penetrative in terms of if something goes

into something. So I don't do needle play. I don't do sounding or figging or anal or pegging. I will do oral strap-on scenes, but for the most part, and then I just don't do scat or heavy blood play. Interesting. Is there something that you specialize in that a lot of people come to you for, or like what is the most important request? That's probably like three different answers right there. Or questions. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd say spanking and impact is one foot fetish play and ABDL, which is a baby diaper lover. Yeah, I've had them on, I think, three. I've had a bunch of guys on my show with that fetish.

It's super interesting. Now, is it always women? I mean, is it always men? Do you ever have women coming to you? I primarily have men. I've had women have come as part of couples, and I have had some trans clients, male, female or non-binary. But I don't think, at this point, I don't think I've had a paid session alone from, like,

like phys woman. I don't know if that is what that has to do with. I do know that women often have more access to play partners in the scene. Like if you go to your local scene and you're a woman, you might be more likely to find someone who will top you. It could be a financial thing. It could be a stigma thing. I'm not sure. Because listen, you were a woman that liked to be spanked and be topped right by somebody and you, but you never needed to go find somebody to do it. There was enough guys or women, whatever, to create that scene for you. Yeah, absolutely. It also might be like many doms I put out content like clips and things like that. And there's a lot of gendered language and things like that in kink play. So, you know, especially with spanking, if I'm like young

lady or young man or naughty boy, I feel like you put out the content. So then you attract more of the people and it becomes kind of a cyclical thing. Yeah, but I've talked to a lot of dominatrix. And it's typically like once in a blue moon, they might get a couple. Like sometimes that's how they see a woman in there while they're working, but typically it's mostly men, which is interesting. But listen, I have a fetish Friday episode, and I think probably like once a year, maybe we have a woman that's calling in to talk about herself, but it's mostly guys. Like, do you think that it's mostly men who have fetishes and not kings, because that's very different. But like, I noticed, like, I was always like, maybe women don't even have fetishes. I was like wondering, you know, if that's a thing.

but uh i think i have seen some kind of statistics that suggest that men and just like i don't know if it's related to just testosterone and like more emphasis on sex drive possibly yeah but i think that i think that there are more male fetishists but on the other hand there was a really fascinating study done by a woman i'm blanking on her name she's an only fan's a model for a long time but she did a research study that suggested that around up to 50% of what women are wired to want some kind of power exchange. So we have a lot of women who are wired for power exchange and a lot of men who are wired for fetishism and a lot of crossover. I'm curious if all things sort of equal out in the end. That's interesting. And maybe I think like it comes

back to the same thing that you said that women could get those needs tended to or and maybe so it's not like, I mean, because a lot of times listen to these guys that have these fetishes are so extreme. Like they can't go to their partners and talk to them about her because they might be. But I feel like women could be more open. I don't know. I just, I just haven't had that many women on. And I remember somebody, Diane Hansen, it was, she, she said that women don't have fetishes. And I forget what her reasoning was. Just explain what the difference between a kink and a fetish is. Can you do that? Because that's important. Because there's plenty of women that have kinks as much as men, right? I mean, that's not, there's no difference there. Yeah. So I conceptualize

kink and fed. This is something that my husband and I came up with back when we were talking about things. But I think kink, think of like a wide, shallow pond full of diverse life. And there's lots of exploring and you try different things. But it's very diverse and wide-ranging. Whereas fetish is kind of like a well. It's just one deep hole. There's nothing in it. It goes all the way down.

And I think for fetishes, you can also on the side be interested in kink and go exploring. But when it comes to your own fetish, it's kind of like a big button that you can just, you know, you don't need the variety in terms of what you're thinking about. sexually to reach orgasm or the kind of activities you want to do. There's that one big button that you can kind of just slam over and over again. It's always going to work for you. Now, are you married now or your partner, your guys are just dating? Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever get married again after that. Yeah, I've been with somebody for a couple of years.

And do you, okay, and so, and you have an open relationship strictly because, you know, of your job. But let me ask you this, is, does your partner get to play with other people or no? Yes, absolutely. In fact, we've been open since the beginning. As soon as I met this person, he was a play partner that I was not intending to have a relationship with. Wow, interesting. But, yeah, at this point, again, there's such a social aspect to this thing that I'm like,

I'm not going to stop seeing my other play partners. You know, they're some of my best friends. Some of them are married to vanilla's and don't have a lot of access to this. I'm like, I want to keep engaging with these people and playing with them. So, yeah, I don't think that I could ever go fully monogamous. ever again. And my partner was on board with it because he wanted to explore as well. And what's his kink or fetish? He's a spanking fetishist, same as me. Oh, you're kidding. Do you think that's like the perfect

pairing? Because I know Amanda, like, finds it hard to meet people because that's her thing. And she just doesn't find a lot of people that it's their thing too. So maybe like two spank, people who are into spanking is a great match. Yeah, definitely. It can definitely match up very well. This is one of the things we're thinking about in the book in terms of is it, if you're trying to find a romantic partner and you have a fetish, should you aim for the small pool of people that share your love of this thing and share your fetish, or is that too small a pool you'll never find someone life-wise compatible with? Should you, would you be better off going into the dating scene, finding somebody that you

have the same values with and lifestyle it with, and then trying to get that component to match up or get met on the side? I know people in both of those situations that have had things work or had things not work. So it's pretty individual for people. And that's what you're going to be talking about in your book. Let's do the last two things. Like first, do you want to give a shout out to like if someone lives in Canada and they want to see you or whatever, you know, like your website or give that information out first? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So. So, yes, I'm a. Sorry. You go. No, no, no.

No, no. No, I don't know your information. You give it out. Yes. I'm a, what I would call a domestic dominant and disciplinary and based in Toronto, Canada, specializing in. Spanking and Impact, foot worship, and ABDL, and my website is Ms. Darling.ca. M-I-Z, Z or one point? Yeah.

M-I-Z, as we see in Canada, M-I-Z-D-R-L-I-N-G. Dot-C-A. Dot-C-A, because it's in Canada right now. You see people just like, I mean, do you do anything virtually for people that don't live in your area or no? Yeah, no, I do virtual sessions. I actually have one after this interview. Oh, okay, interesting. Okay, great. So I'm going to put your link to your website in the description. Now, let's talk about your book and let's do a big shout out to the people that are listening if they want to get involved. Talk about the project and talk about what you're looking for and then give out any kind of information so people could contact you. Yeah, absolutely. So the book is going to be called Complicated Pleasures and it is a book on fetishist speaking long-term romantic and sexual partners. and the question we always get asked is if you have a fetish, if you have a fetish,

should you be with somebody who shares the fetish, is that too small a pool? Are you better off going Polly? Are you better off dating someone in the vanilla scene and just trying to get your sexual needs met on the side? For those of us who are plugged into the kink community, the answer seems to be that any of those situations can potentially work. I know people fetish is dating vanilla's fetish dating other fetish matches.

I know ones that do that and it hasn't worked for them. But the thing is, when you're in the kink scene, you get to hear these stories. When you're not in the kink scene, you don't get to hear these stories. You feel very alone. Whereas you can discuss with your friends if you don't have the same politics as your partner. Most people are pretty hesitant to bring up that their partner has a fetish that they don't understand or vice versa. So we want to bring this book of case studies, interviews from real fetishists in relationships, and put it out there for people so that they don't feel as alone.

And that hopefully they can glean something from other people's experience. experiences and trying to make sense of their own path. Yeah, I love that. And I have to say, I just went onto your website and then I clicked on your Instagram because I was trying to find you before. And I see this whole thing with you wearing nylons and stuff. I have a whole fetish tier, a pantyho's fetish tier on my Patreon because that's something I learned early on when I was doing my show.

I got everybody from Craigslist, right? Like, that's where I would get my guest. And I noticed that there was a lot of foot fetishes. And pantyhoes was like a real big thing that guys were into. Like, who knew? Right? And so I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, oh my God, you could come back on and do a panty hose episode for my, they would love you.

Your whole Instagram, I have a whole Instagram here with you wearing nylons. You know about that fetish. Oh, pretty much. It goes very well with the sort of domestic dominance retro mommy thing. Yeah. Yeah, smart. I won't chew my own horns, but I've got great legs. So it just seemed like a natural kind of fit.

Yeah, totally. And guys love it. I mean, that's like a thing. And that's like awesome. Okay. So now how could people, if they want to take part, you're looking. for a couple, singles, like what are you looking for, and then how do they reach out to if they want to take part?

Sure. So we are currently collecting interviews. We're looking to speak with fetishists or the partners of fetishists. It doesn't matter if it's a current relationship or a past relationship, as long as it was fairly long term, three years or more, ideally, just to share their stories about what happened in the relationships, what was the challenges? You know, if it was something that has worked long term, what do you attribute that to? if it was something that didn't work out what you attribute that to.

Because Amanda and I are both plugged into the spanking fetish scene, so we've had some great interviews with spanking fetish couples or spanking fetishists with vanilla's, but we're missing a bit the wide range of other fetishists out there. And we're especially missing talking, I would really like to talk to the partners of fetishists to find out their take on things. They deserve to be represented in this as well. So anybody, if you have a fetish or are or have been in a relationship with a fetishist and you're interested in participating in this, you can go to our website, which is

Complicatedpleasures.ca. And there is a button there that you can click to go to the Google form and it's just going to ask you a little survey about your relationship. Yeah, I love that. I'll definitely put that in the description, the link not only to your website, in case someone wants to like work with you on that in that way, but also the information for people that are listening that might want to take part in your study. I mean, listen, that's what I do in my show. And whenever I get somebody on that as a fetish, maybe they have a partner that is totally

down with it. I'm always like, oh my God, please bring your girl on the show. Like I love to, I love talking to the partners. And it's few and far between that I get them on because a lot of them are living, like, you know, leading a double life. Or it went bust because their partner wasn't into it. But I love when I do get them on and hear from them. So they're out. there, you know, and hopefully they're listening. I could also do, I think I told Amanda, if she wants me to do a shout out on my Patreon, because I have two fetish tears, cross-dressing and panty-hose fetish tears with, you know, a highly engaged audience over there. I mean, it's not like as many people have my podcast, but they're like the people you want to be talking to,

and I'm sure those people would be interested too. So I'll make a note when this airs on my Patreon, because it'll air a day earlier. It'll air tomorrow. I will let them know to listen up that you're looking for people, so maybe they'll email you as well. Because I think it's super interesting what you're doing. Well, thank you. I should mention also that when people fill out the online survey, that's really just kind of an intake for us.

We would like to then follow up with certain people to do an interview voice only over Zoom to ask some more in-depth questions. But, yeah, hopefully from all of that, we will get some of the answers to questions or, you know, we're even trying to get answers for things like, if you are a person who's looking for a relationship with a female dominant, is that shooting too high? Are they too rare? You know, questions like that or people who have stayed in happy, like, you know, satisfying sexual

relationships with people who were a bad match in relationship ways or even abusive because was it worth getting that need met? So a lot of the different topics that we're hoping to talk to people about. Yeah, I love it. I love it. So we're going to put the word out. Do you want to send in some picks for my Patreon? Of course, anonymous. I see that you're anonymous on your Instagram, right? So you're not like showing your face there or anything. No, no. With the world the way it is these days, it's a tricky thing being a content creator and a dominatrix. So I don't show above my nose. That's okay. I'm anonymous. Nobody knows who the fuck I am and I've been doing my show for 11 years. So I get the whole other. I guess that's true. You're strictly anonymous. Yeah. Nobody knows. And when I used to have a YouTube channel, I would do videos sometimes for it. And I would do, like, if you go onto my website, you'll see a video of me there. And it's just like from the neck down sitting in a chair. Like, that's how I would do my videos because I'm anonymous. And honestly, like at some point, I wound up having a child.

And I'm so glad that I remained anonymous because he could maybe have had slack of parents maybe not wanting their kids to hang out. You know, whatever. But nobody knows what the fuck I do. So, you know, it's less complicated for me, which is great. because people are a little nutty when it comes to S-E-X. You know what I'm saying? It's like ridiculous. Absolutely, although probably a bunch of them listen to your podcast and just aren't open about it. I know. We all know that.

That's, you know, I mean, listen, my son's only 10, but I always explained to him, like, don't tell anybody you, this is what your mom does. She has a podcast. It's about sex. And, you know, I'm very open-minded, and I don't think it's a big deal, but most people take it way too seriously and they're weirded out by it. So we don't tell anyone. And that's like, you know, the kind of story I have to tell him.

So he knows not to say anything. It's so sad, you know, but I think you do great work with this podcast. People feel so alone with this and yours is a great way of showing people that they're not alone, aren't there? Oh my God. I can't tell you, I mean, I did start my show. I wanted to be like a Dear Abby show. And really what I set out to do on my podcast was like to help people with their problems

because I love to analyze things. And my friends were just like irritated by me asking them and analyzing them all the time, you know. So I'm like, let me just meet people that want that kind of information. And it turned out I went on to Craigslist. And that's why I got all these people with sex. And then when I started doing it, it's like, and, you know, I really, I really am helping people.

I constantly get emails, not only from the people that sometimes are like are calling into my show and they're, because they could call in anonymously, they're talking about this for the first time in their lives, which is so freeing and amazing for them. You know what I mean? Like I get these amazing emails, but also for the people listening, you know? And, and I think also what my show is here to say is like, listen, this is like the truth. This is what people do. And, like, the more we talk about it and the more we quote unquote normalize it. And it's not even like normalizing. And it's just like saying like, this is what people do. And like, why does everyone have to be so secretive about it.

And, you know, and I think that that only helps people, you know. So the more people that talk about it, the more books like you guys are going to do that are out there, it helps people. And that's what I love to do. And I'm sure that's why you're in the business of what you do. Because you're helping people too. Like you said, your people are crying in your sessions and stuff and coming to you. And the most vulnerable they could ever be is with you in that room.

Yeah. No, you're right. especially, I've joked before about men. I feel like there's not a lot of socially acceptable places for men to cry. So a lot of it is just like sometimes I'll play with somebody and they'll start crying. And I'm like, oh, this is not a week's worth of tears. This is like six months to two years worth of tears. The person's been holding inside.

Even longer when it comes to men, I'm kind of wired like a man. I might cry like once every two or three years. You know, some men haven't cried in 20 years. So I think it's a lot longer than six months. You know what I mean? So I think you're doing a great service too. All right, so listen, Ms. Darling, thanks so much for calling in. Tell Amanda, thanks for sending you my way. I'm going to put all the links in the description. Send me a couple anonymous picks for my Patreon.

And this is going to be up on Friday. Perfect. Thank you so much. It's so exciting. Yeah, awesome. Thanks so much for calling in. Send me that stuff like ASAP today, okay, because I put on my Patreon tomorrow. Okay, awesome. Bye. Bye. Bye, bye, Ms. Darling. Bye-bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August

25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip

around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord. any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and

you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast.

Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that I do have a book coming out. It was supposed to come out on October 14th, but there was major printing issues. I got a batch. They were not approved by me. I was like, no effing way. Please reprint these. And they actually are. And that is pushing back the date to December 2nd. Okay. So you still have time to pre-order the book. The book is called Shirkly anonymous confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. The book is basically seven different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show like There's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuckold story. There's a gang bang girl story. There's like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person. I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show.

You're going to learn a lot. You're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to hear these. stories, like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an e-book available. If you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book, get the e-book. It's available. There will be an audio book available very soon after it comes out. I did not narrate it. I was going to, but I passed on it because I sucked at the job. Okay, I couldn't do it at all, but I got a hot check to narrate the book. So you're going to dig the audiobook. If you buy my book

in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. That is my gift to you. for getting my buck. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'll get the Discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks. Okay, it's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there and everybody shares content with each other. That's what's great about Discord. You get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there. It's a super fun place to be. I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my Discord. It is private. It's the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link. And that's why I think my Discord is so great because I have vetted people. It's not like it's just open to the

public. So everybody that's in there are people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great. So my Discord is fucking great. My book is great. You're going to love it. If you buy it, all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it and I will give you free access to my Discord. Send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. You could find my book in the link in the description, okay? Or just Google it. Strictly Anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. You can find it anywhere. You buy a book. Send me the picture and I'll give you access to my Discord email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.