Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1258 – Paul Conquered His ED Issues and Changed the Game in the Bedroom Big Time

Episode Date: October 25, 2025

Paul conquered his ED issues and completely changed the game in the bedroom with his wife and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how he first started dealing with erectile dysfunction and what triggered it, how and why he didn’t rely on Viagra to get things back on track, what he did that cured his ED, how and when the issue came back a second time, what he did differently that time around to fix it, how that new approach completely changed the game in the bedroom with his wife, the tips and tricks he learned that helped his wife become multi 0rgasmic and where he learned them, the new toys they brought in that she loved, how changing his focus from himself to pleasing his wife totally shifted their sex life, how he uses Viagra now and why he only takes it occasionally plus a whole lot more. **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2532-anonymous⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm not on there, but like every one of my guests who talk about meeting people and hooking up and learning about the lifestyle, they started at SDC. It is the world's largest adult website. What's great about SCC, it's not just a place where you can meet people. It's a place where you could also learn about all the shit in your area. Or if you want to play on vacation, you can learn about what's going on over there. I have a free trial that I could offer my listeners. All you got to do is use code 37712 on SDC.com or just go to the description. and click on the link. Okay, today I have on Paul. Paul wrote in. He had some ED issues and he

tackled them. It's interesting because he had like issues with ED two separate times in his life and he talks about those two separate times and he talks about the things that he did both times that were kind of different that actually helped his ED and got it under control. And that's why it's a super interesting story because it's like, you know, it was two separate things that helped him at two different times in his life when he dealt with ED. I think what he did and, you know, how he got past it is super interesting. And then he also talks about how like, I mean, he's been with his girls since they're like 14, okay? They were still always having really good sex, but it was like regular sex. And really at some point, because of the ED, you'll hear, he completely changed the game and started to really like

look into learning how to please his wife more. And he changed his focus from like his own pleasure to his wife's pleasure and he talks a lot about how that completely changed the game too between the both of them and also helped him. So he's got a lot of really good information. I think his story is super relatable and interesting. This is a competitive guy. It's like I said on to him. He's like a problem solver. He had some problems and he fixed it and then some. Like not only did he fix his problems. He changed him and his wife's sex life for the better. And so it's super interesting to hear how he is keeping the spark alive in his marriage after being with his wife since the Donna time. I mean, he's in his early 40s now. He's been with her since he's 14. So he's got a lot of

good information. I love his story. I'm so glad he called in because I think it's important for people to hear these kinds of stories, not just from experts, but from regular people who have had these problems to hear about it. So anyway, I'm going to get right to be right back on with Paul. Hi, Paul. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm very well, Kathy. Thank you. How are you? I got to tell people that I just got to make fun of you and me right now because we are both talking to each other in a closet. I'm in a closet. That's where I work in my walking closet. And you were in a hotel and you're like, you need to move someplace else. You're like literally in the closet in a very tight closet. I guess the acoustics are much better in here than are in where else. Yeah, I love it. And the funny thing is it's not like you're talking about going to glory holes. That's why you're hiding. I mean, you don't have like that's lacious of a topic. But what you have is a topic that I think is super important. important. You had ED issues and we're going to talk about that. You, you cured, I know, what's the right word? Solve them, cured them like you're on the other side of your ED issues, correct?

Yes, and it took almost 10 years to get here. Yeah, which I love. That's like a great story. You know, if we met you in the middle of the 10 years, it'd be like, okay, well, what's the fucking solution? I love that you have the problem. You tried all the solutions and now you have the one that worked. Like, that's super helpful information. And that's why I started my sexual health Saturdays, not just have on experts, but like people like you that are really going through real, you know, issues with their health that other people are going through because I think ED is a very common problem. From talking to my friends and just people that I know, it seems like this is a way more

common problem than even I would have thought. Yeah. And I just, I feel like it's an important story to tell so that other men who are going through this kind of know how to talk to their partner and work through it with them. Yes, I love it. I'm obsessed. This is great. Okay, so listen, Paul. Let's get a snapshot of where you're at now. Like, how old are you? How long you've been married to your wife? So I'm 43. We've been married for 18 years, but we've been together since we were 14 years old.

Oh my God. Are you kidding? 14? Did you like live in the same neighborhood or did you like, did you live down the block from each other or go to the same school? Went to the same school. Okay, great. All right. So you've been married and with your wife since the dawn of time. So like, let's go back to like right before you started having ED issues. Like what was your sex life like with your wife and how was your health and your erection health back then before things started to change? So we've always had sex multiple times per week for the basically since the time we started having sex. And it was never like wild or anything like that. You know, she's not doing like double anal like Aaron is running. That's okay. But we all it was always,

it was always there. There was always spark. There's always passion. And there were never any, ED issues. When you're when you're fucking 18 years old, it just works. Totally. And even when you're 25, it's still just fucking works. Yeah, I would say this is, you know, early 30s is unusual. But, you know, I also, I travel a lot for work.

I have crazy schedules. I travel all over the world. So for me, a lot of times I'm not in the right time zone. And I just always thought that that was like an excuse. And the way that it sort of started was maybe three, four times a year I'd have an issue. where we'd be in the middle of having sex and all of a sudden it would go soft.

And I never really thought too much about it. I mean, obviously it was embarrassing more because I didn't want it to be stressful for her than for me. Of course. And at that point still, you know, we were so young when we got together that we didn't really do a whole lot of exploring in our 20s because we both work full time, we both on businesses, and we're just lived kind of crazy. lives and we do you know we have sex just we love each other and we wanted to be you know we wanted to do it but it was never like a fun thing is not the right might not be the right way to say it

yeah but also in you know in the time frame that we were growing up it wasn't there wasn't all of this like porn exposure and you couldn't go on a you couldn't listen to podcasts like yours in in the you know late 90s early 2000s so you know when we we were growing up in our 20s, we didn't have all of these extra resources that I feel like we have now. Yeah, totally. So then, so then as I'm starting to have the, the ED issues, you know, I kind of played off, oh, it sounds stupid deal, don't worry about it. You know, we go and we have sex the next night and it would be just fine. And then maybe five years later, so kind of into my mid-30s, all of a sudden one day, it just didn't work at all. Oh, like literally overnight. Yeah, like we had sex the day before,

and then we had sex, that we tried to have sex the next day, and it didn't work. Wow. And that was like a holy shit, like what the hell is going on here? Yeah. And so it said, like, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm not feeling well. I don't know. Let's try again tomorrow. Try again the next day, same thing.

And I said, okay, I'm going to the doctor. Like that, and I'm not, I would say I'm a typical, like, mid-30s guy at that point. Yeah. I hadn't been the doctor since I was, you're fucking 20 years old. Yeah, you don't need to back in those days. And let me ask you a quick question. Like, in the past. like up to that time.

You said like one, like maybe three times a year it would happen or whatever. It never happened consecutively like the day later. It was always like a one-off kind of a thing. So this was odd. And it was always kind of like mid-sex. It wasn't something where it was like,

I couldn't get it hard at all. Yeah. It was harder and then it went soft, which is not quite the same thing like in my mind. I'm sure functionally it's the same thing. Yeah. So go on. So then,

So then I go to the doctor and, you know, I worked through a number of blood tests. You know, she did like a whole workup. And there was an underlying health thing going on there with, I don't want to get too, too much into it. I think it's a bit distracting. But I was pre-diabatic and pre-diabatic. But don't you think that has a big thing to do with it? Because it's blood flow now. It does.

You know, but I think that the pre-diabatic part, it's more, it was more important to go and actually go to the doctor. Yeah. Get tested instead of. instead of sweeping it out of the rug, which I do feel like, you know, there were, when I was talking to to my friends, like, you know, they kind of couldn't believe that. Like, I just went up and went to the doctor. And I was like, what the hell else was I supposed to do? It's like, I kind of want to have sex with my wife because mentally I was there. But physically, I couldn't do it. Yeah, well, there's two kinds of people in this world, Paul. There are problem solvers and there are problem havers. And most people are

problem havers. They have a problem and they just fucking have it. Like, you were like, I got a problem. I'm going to fucking solve it. Okay. That's why you're successful flying around the world. Okay, anyway. Well, now, and I hear all these stories for, you know, a lot of the cheating stories that are on your show, which in many cases deal with people not communicating and not having sex. Yeah. And now, I wasn't thinking about that when I was in my mid-30s. I wasn't listening at the show at the time. But certainly there is a path there I could easily see today where, you know, I didn't go to the doctor. I didn't get my health in order. And I just kind of let it, you know, let it roll until there was some other major problem. And, you know,

maybe we don't have sex for years and years and like what's she going to do at that point? Yeah. Like it's not fair. So I'm happy, like in retrospect, I'm really happy that I made that particular decision. And then it took, you know, so after I went to my primary care, I then went to a urologist. The primary care was pretty certain that, you know, if I, so I didn't want to go on medicine either. That was my other thing. I didn't want to be on medicine for the rest of my life.

I don't, I really don't subscribe to. I'm going to be on medicine. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's given the, given the situation, I didn't think that was right. It was pretty simple. It was like, lose weight. Like, it was, it didn't really involve much more than that.

She's like, you're, you're pre-diadetic. You're not, you're not in like a real danger zone, but you've got to get your health in order. So I stopped drinking for the most part. Occasionally, I'll have, you know, I'll have like two, three drinks a year now. But I stop that right away. And then I just got. much better control of what I was eating. I've always been vegetarian for 15 years. So it's also

kind of weird, you know, to think, but there's a lot of food, you know, pizza, pasta, that stuff's all vegetarian. It's not healthy. So I really had to get a realignment with, with the health as well on the eating side. And it took a while. I mean, it took probably six months of sort of, I'd say, figuring my way through this. So then I, you know, I made the decision. that I was just going to get my blood work testing every two months. My insurance only covers a couple of times a year, but it's not that expensive. It's a few hundred bucks every time you go in. Okay, guys, now you're going to thank me later for this because I'm going to tell you a place

where you could go and learn how to give your girl the best oral sex ever. Now, even if you think that you give great oral sex when you go down on your girl, I am telling you you need to take the cunneling is course over on. Beducated.com because you are going to learn 10 new moves that are going to blow your girl's mind, okay? Like literally any oral sex is good, but amazing oral sex is like top of the mountain for me. And on beducated, beducated.com, which is like the Netflix of sex education, they have courses on everything that has to do with sex over there.

Their course, the Kuntilings course, will teach you 10 new moves. Ones I promise you, you're not going to know, okay, but they're going to be. to blow your girl's mind. And the great thing about Beducated is when you take that course, you're going to see Cunnelingus in action so you know exactly what you're doing. There is an explicit video there that's going to walk you through it. And I personally think that's the best way to learn is by actually seeing it in action. Okay. You're not just going to hear about what to do and all these 10 new moves. You're going to see it. So what are you waiting for? Do your girl a favor and take the kentolingus course over at beducated.

And then she could take some classes over at beducated.com because they have classes on oral sex for guys too, as well as so many other courses. And they also offer risk-free money back guarantee for 15 days. So you really have nothing to lose. And for listeners of my show, Bejicated is offering 50% off their yearly pass. All you got to do is go to the description, click on the link and use my code anonymous. And you're going to get 50% off the yearly pass. Just use my code anonymous after clicking on the link.

link in the description to get 50% off plus the 14 day money back guarantee but it really gave me an understanding of how exercise and this is not like what you do for exercise this might be going out and walking for 30 minutes instead of sitting on the couch yeah you know light light run I like to swim so swimming swimming in there too and seeing how that plus the food impacted the you know the various markers in the blood work. It's just so interesting because it took me six months to really get dialed in. But through that time, I was losing weight. And I had gone to see a urologist. And I think that seeing the urologist is actually the sort of the best thing that I did. So the urologist, you know, he checked me over and he goes, look, I'm going to be straight with you.

Lose the fucking weight. Very, very simple. And I wasn't super big. That's the first thing to tackle is what they're saying. Like let's tackle that first and see if that's going to change the game, correct? Exactly. So I was 511, and at that point I was 220. I was like dad bod, but not obese. And he also, so he gave me a prescription for Viagra. And he, instead of just giving me the prescription and saying, like, have fun, he,

he went through some very, like, strict steps. He goes, number one, do not take it every time you want to have sex. He says you will become dependent on it. And it's something where you don't want to have that, you don't want to be so reliant on. it that you can't feel what's going on in your body. Given that you've got this now pre-existing condition, you've got to be so careful to like listen to your body. And if you're constantly taking a pill to get hard, even if you don't need it, you're not going to be listening to one of the key signals, which kind of alerted you to the whole problem to begin with. And you're really young.

It's not like you're 60-70. At that point, why not take Viagra every fucking time you fuck? You know what I'm saying? Like you're only 30 years old. It's like you have too much time out of you to be relying on that every single time. It's not realistic. Yeah, I'm in my late mid 30s. Like, forget it. I should not be doing that for 40 years. I also don't want to be taking. I don't want to be relying on pills anyway. So that kind of hits my, you know, some of my personal stuff there. And he said, make sure you tell your partner every time you take it. And I was kind of like, why? And he said, well, you want her to know when you're taking it so that in the event that you have another issue or along those lines that she understands

it's not anything with her and he says that's something that you've got to work through together as a couple you know that this is an underlying health problem it's not a attraction problem and he said so if you tell her when you take it at least that way she knows

and she's not fucking stupid she can feel it it's not the same like it is it is like 17 year old rock fucking hard I mean it isn't and and it can I can go three, four times in a night and then wake up the next morning and go again. It's just totally different. Yeah.

So I did follow his instructions there. And then, you know, he did say to have fun too. He's like, this is going to be fun for you. He goes, this is going to be way different. And it worked and it works, like right away. And it does. Oh, it fucking works. It really fucking works.

So it took me kind of six months to get myself right. And then from there, I start the, like, right. erection started coming back. So I didn't really need the Viagra anymore. So I kind of put it away. Because I said, I don't want to be relying on it. And I've had the conversation of my partner saying, like, I know it's fun, but I don't want to be using it frequently. I like use it once a month or something. So then, so fast forward, you know, five years or so. And we're now about a year and a half from today. and all of a sudden I'm starting to have issues again. But now I know, like, I've got my health under control, my weights under control, not drinking,

I'm checking my blood levels every two months. So I know what's going on within my body. And I think this is something else. So it was, again, it wasn't the right-of-way thing. It was like in the middle of having sex, all of a sudden it would go, you know, would just go down. And, you know, through the summer, I don't really. to talk a lot about my life, you know, but we started exploring her body a lot more during this time, which is something that we should have done when we were younger.

Yeah. But she, like, for example, in our, in our 20s, she had just a couple of orgasms with me. And, you know, she always said it was great and whatever, but like, I didn't even really understand that in my 20s. It was so fucking busy. I didn't, I didn't have time to deal with this stuff. It was like, you know, 15 minutes and just, like, be done with it. not a, it was not a long, drawn-out process. But as we got into our 30s and we started exploring her body more, you know, I found that it's kind of fun when she orgasms. And yeah, it's going to take a little bit more time, but that's okay. You know, you got to actually spend a little bit of

time together. So we probably dropped on our frequency, but I think the quality went up, which is, which is, you know, what we're all looking for. And then a year and a half ago, when I started having the other issues, I sort of shut off, which was the first time that that really ever happened. And we probably went, I'm going to say like three, four weeks without having sex, which for us is just totally out of the ordinary. Even if I could get hard, I know you had a guy that was like this, but I just fucking put it in there. Yeah. You know, she could use a vibrator. Yeah. And it felt awesome for her, she said. Yeah. She doesn't care. She's like, just put it in soft. That was me. She goes, just fucking put it in. Yeah. Yeah. She goes, I don't care

what happens with you, just put it in and let it be good for me. And I said, all right, fine, that sounds awesome. Yeah. So then... But let me ask a quick question. During that time when it comes back again, like, you don't think to go back to the Viagra. Like, you just, like, kind of shut down at that point. Yeah, I did the Viagra, and the Viagra worked. But again, I was telling her, I said, hey, I'm using Viagra tonight. And it... I'm trying to think of how to phrase this. It felt like I was going to become to relying on it with the issues coming up again. And I was like, I called the doctor and, you know, the doctor said, like, look, you're, everything here seems normal. There's nothing that seems out of the ordinary that you should be concerned about, you know.

And then she started talking about like, are you focused when you're having sex? Are you, have you just had a really long day? You know, like all of the other kind of underlying things. I get a pretty good doctor. He's not just, you know, read it off the chart and move on with life. You know, she talks. Is this your regular doctor or is this the urologist that you're talking to at this point? No, no, this is my GP.

Okay. She's really good. And it took me a while to find one. Yeah, it's hard to find ones like that. It is. Yeah. And I just got lucky, you know, but the third one, I was like, yeah, I like her. She's fine.

Yeah. So then after it came back up again, I said, all right, you know, three, four weeks, not doing it. And then we're sitting there one night. We're in bed. And I just kind of opened up. And I said, look, this is really shameful for me. me. It's a major struggle. I feel like

when I have these problems, you think it reflects on you, which I probably shouldn't have said it that way, but that was how I said it. And so it led into a very kind of, very deep and good conversation between us. And, you know,

she was like, I don't, it feels like you're not attracted to me is what she ended up saying. And I was like, yeah, that's totally not true. Like, it's, it's So far from the truth. And after we had the conversation, it was like, okay, I said, I'm not interested in having sex tonight. Let's try tomorrow and see what happens.

And since that day, I have not had a single issue. So I think there was some sort of like a mental block going on that for whatever reason, now, if I feel something happening, I've got tricks that I can use to sort of get back into it. like I can always pull out and start working on her a little bit more. And I think it's probably important to like go through some of the other stuff that we've done in the last year and a half. Yeah, for sure. So we really started exploring because I was like, all right, if just after having that conversation with my wife, I said, we're just going to start trying stuff. And we made like a short list of things that we wanted to try. things like bondage, anal play, come play, just all sorts of different things that were on our, I guess, unspoken bucket list.

And we have slowly been knocking them out one by one over the last year and a half. And I started listening to your podcasts, a couple other podcasts. I started doing a lot of reading. I got on to Veducated. Oh, yeah, Veducated. Love it. Yeah, it's great. And I really took a more, I'd say, academic approach to it, which is a little bit strange.

But in my daily, you know, non-sexual life, you know, I look at data all day. I make, you know, I make assumptions based off the data. And it's just, that's my life every day. So I started, it's going to sound fucking insane. I started tracking everything in Excel for sex. So positions, duration, orgasm time. Interesting.

It was my way of kind of saying, all right, if we're going to go down this road of becoming more experimental, it's kind of interesting to see, all right, you know, what do we gravitate towards more? What makes her get off more? What makes me get off more?

And she actually doesn't know. She has no idea that I'm doing this. And she'd probably be mortified if she knew it. But she knows you by now. She probably would be like, oh, yeah, okay, whatever. You don't know what I mean? Like she obviously knows you're a data guy or something.

I mean, this is just a part of your personality, obviously. This doesn't come out of nowhere. No, no, no, no. This is not that unusual for me. Yeah. So, but it's really interesting to see over time how much, you know, we've evolved. So in the early days, it was like, you know, for her, it was kind of one orgasm, half an hour in, and that was it. And then I said, okay, I want to start challenging us a little bit here.

So it was like, you know, let's try for like two orgasms before I even put it in. And then so we started doing it. that and then we started doing bond if she's really into i was surprised but she is really into it and she loves being blindfolded that's that's one of her other things sometimes we'll put noise canceling headphones on too i'm like i'll i'll leave the room uh and i'll come back 20 30 minutes later but i've left a vibrator on her maybe not right on her but sort of uh you know around her vagina uh and you know things things like that just get her so excited because there's like a different anticipation for it.

And this all takes way longer. I mean, we're into sessions now that can last two hours, which, I mean, we have kids. How old are your kids? I've got a 10 year old and a seven year old.

Oh, I have a 10 year old. So that's, yeah. I mean, isn't that fun, though, to go back to those,

because those are like high school days or like, you know, those are like younger days where you could just have sex with your person all day long, you know what I mean? And then you lose that kind of thing in the middle of life. Because like you said,

you're building your businesses, you're doing all this stuff. But it's like, much fun and amazing that you guys are like back to taking that kind of time in your intimate life. I think that that really probably adds so much to your relationship. Well, and we travel a lot as a family. Wherever we go, we bring the kids. We don't, we don't even think about it. It's just as soon as, as soon as we go all over the world. So our kids have been, you know,

our kids are on some sort of a big international trip over the year. Yeah. And, you know, but we don't, when we're on those trips, which would normally be like just us, we don't really have a lot of connections. time. Of course. And that was something we did this year. That was, it was the first time that we actually did a trip alone in 10 years.

So, and that was, that was basically a sex trip. It was like, so, so, great. We're,

we're getting up to TSA and, you know, we've got dildos. We've got five. We have all sorts of shit in the fucking carry-on back because I refuse to check. I'm like, I'm not fucking checking back.

Yeah, yeah. And she, she, as we're in the car getting, you know, going to the airport, she's like,

all right. Who's taking the bag through? Yeah, she's like, I'm going to go five people in front of you. I'm not being, she's not even standing next to you with those bags. Which is exactly what happened. She goes, you're taking, you're taking the fucking bag. Yeah. You're like, I'm not with you.

Yeah. So I was like, all right. And I'm put the bag up on the, you know, on the belt. And like, motherfucker, they, they better not be something in there. Like, because if it, if I'm, if I'm getting stopped and just, I didn't, wasn't so worried about the dildos, but it was like the vibrators. Yeah. I was like, oh, they're electronic, and, like, there's probably six or seven of them in there.

Like, what's going to happen? And it went right through, and it was fine. But you just had that, like, moment of trepidation when the bad to stop next to the screen. Yeah, of course, because I'm surprised it went through with all those, like, you know, phallic-shaped gun-looking things in your bag, especially, like you said, they're, like, power batteries on them and stuff. Isn't that shit dangerous? You know what? I don't really care. So I doubt that we're the only people that they've ever seen going through with, you know,

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Uber-Lube lets you feel what you want to feel. That's right. UberLube.com. Use code strictly or just go to the description and click on the link. Because I'm surprised it went through with all those like, you know, phallic-shaped gun-looking things in your bag,

especially like you said, they're like power batteries on them and stuff. Isn't that shit dangerous? You know what? I don't really care. So I doubt that we're the only people that they've ever seen going through with, you know, fucking giant dildos and sex toys. I just, that's impossible.

Oh my God, you brought that all. And then on your way back, too, you didn't get stopped, by the way? Like way back when you're going through? No, but while we were on our trip, we decided to stop at a sex shop, which we've never done together before. But, you know, when we're kind of like we're in there,

and we're going, what's new? So we bought a couple new things. We're like, God, we really hope that this doesn't like set it over the edge where there's some, like, sex toy tipping point where, you know, some TSA agents just wants to fuck with you and take and take everything out of the bag and be like oh my god and i said like i just looked down and i said so what if that really happens like like what we're we're adults that have sex like okay fine like it might look a little weird with you know little little joey and jane

standing there with their mother because she forgot to take out their uh uh you know their water bottles but you know who i don't care yeah it doesn't really bug me yeah good for you know but and so we really started introducing toys during that time to obviously it's like we're traveling with a bag of sex toys and and you know so i've gotten to a point now where she's she can multiple orgasm easily in an hour like we've we i think our max is six but you're kidding and she was a one and done before one and done and that was it and it was it was really her she you know she didn't want to go you know sure she didn't want to do it more than once you know she just felt like i got my my one in and now you get your one and you get your one

in and it's done. You know, but I really developed enjoyment for seeing her orgasming multiple times in varying degrees of strength. And I've gotten better over, you know, over the last year and a half at, you know, kind of sensing the different, you know, sort of like the different types of orgasm story. I don't know about, you know, fucking A spot and G spot and this spot. I don't know anything about those things. You know, but I can certainly know, like, what the power level of the orgasm is going to be as we lead up to it.

And I don't exactly know what type of orgasm it is, but it's like the Holy Grail, which is she basically goes into orgasm and doesn't stop. Wow. So it's basically as long as I can stay in there, show orgasm. So if it's 15 minutes, she'll literally be an orgasm the entire 15 minutes.

It's crazy. I don't exactly know how to get it there every time. It normally requires a whole lot of loosening up, and it's normally a big toy, and either, I mean, the fucking wand is ridiculous. You know, you put the wand on there, and it's like, it's like a cheat code. But that's it.

You know, once the wand goes on, forget it. But we've got a few other ones that have strong, that are strong enough that they can sort of trigger that level of orgasm. And for Mr. E.D. guy over here who's having problems, this is like the hottest thing ever. So for me, I'm basically, I'll be hard for the entire two hours if we're going for a really long session, which is a far cry from where we were two years ago. Right. And like what, how did you get her to be multi-orgasmic? Is it all these things that you tried? You said you tried pedicated. Like what did you learn? Did you learn any good tips you could give some people?

Yeah. So I think the biggest thing is just focusing on her. So, So instead of it being about, you know, I'm ready to get it in, spending the time up front to get her loose, get her warm. I always like to kind of get her with like an orgasm quickly and quickly might be 15, 20 minutes. And I can do it faster than that if we're like, if we're like press for time because kids are coming home or something. You know, we can get it for five or 10 minutes. But I like kind of warming her up. So a lot of massage, she really likes massages. so and that's you know back body you know full full body massage so that normally takes a little bit longer

but i can also just go with something like a yoni massage uh and that's you know i can i can do that in 20 or 25 minutes and kind of it might not be the full thing but it's it's full enough to get her going and then you know she kind of like i like the first orgasm to be kind of muted just kind of get it out of the way and then it's really the second and the third ones that are normally like Uber, over powerful. And using, so she was never like insertion employee, she never really liked that.

You know, she was always like, what the hell do I want this piece of plastic in there? You know, when I could just have you. And I said, well, you only get me for a certain amount of time. So, unfortunately, I can't last for, you know, a full two hours in you. So, you know, but we kind of like, we bought, I'm

going to say, we just went on to one of the, one of the toy sites, and bought a girthy gildo. Like that was where we sort of started. And then, you know, that's when I fucking put that in her the first time. You know, she basically screamed right away. And I was like, oh, okay, I think I'm on to something here.

I think I figured something out. Yeah. And so gradually and gradually we got bigger and bigger. I mean, we're not using these, you know, these monster monster ones. I can't remember what the name of the one that we use is. But it's really lifelike. And she says it's the closest thing to having me. insider but it's also probably like 30% girthier than I am so so she and she fucking loves that one when it goes

in but it takes it's not like something you can just shove in there in the first 10 minutes like she's really got to have an orgasm get opened up and then that one can get in there and that's really you know when we create those powerful orgasm a lot of times it's that plus one of one of a couple of different vibrators we've got like a rose sucker vibrator obviously the wand I mean the wand is like, you know, the wand is just, I mean, it's crazy. Like the level of orgasm that we can get to with the wand is like no, nothing else. But that's it. Once the wand comes out, it's done. Yeah, the wand, I have to say, I never used the wand until way later in life because I never like vibrators. I was like, no, like I didn't never want to get dependent, quote unquote, on vibrators,

you know, because there's just like too much stimulation. But so I always stayed away, and I don't feel that way about vibrators anymore, but I always stayed away from the wand because I just thought it's another vibrator. But then, you know I got a wand sent to me I get a lot of shit sent to me now because my podcast and I tried and I was like holy shit this is not like a regular vibrator like this is a whole other experience you know it really is like if anyone's like me and they never tried one because it's like oh it's another vibrator I don't like vibrators and yeah it is like otherworldly it's like fucking a wand I mean you don't know but I know what your wife knows and I know yeah I'm just

I'm just giving the shout out for the girls like it trust me the wand's fucking great by your girl a wand for Christmas. Oh, absolutely. I recommend buying her a wand and then using it on her immediately. Yes. She'll love you. And I think for me, you know, the

experimental nature of this has been, it's just, it's been so much fun where half the time she has no idea what's down there. I don't like, we don't sit there for the most part and like, you know, pick out shit online. I drive a lot of it. And she,

likes that. She kind of likes the surprise aspect of it. And there's not a surprise every single time. You know, like we have sex three times a week. You know, there can't be a surprise every time. But every, you know, every month there's probably something new that we're, you know, that we're trying from a toy perspective. And that kind of keeps it interesting for her and keeps it different. And we've got, you know, we've got furniture in our bedroom. We move, you know, we move all around the house, which can be a little bit weird with kids sometimes. Like, if the kids are there, clearly, we're not out in, like, you know, on the kitchen counter. We kind of keep it confined to one of the two bedrooms, you know, our bedroom in the guest room. You know, when the kids aren't there, we can basically use wherever we want in the house.

And our house is not secluded. So I'm kind of like at some point, I'm sure a fucking neighbor has seen something. But I don't know. I don't really care. Like, what does it matter? You know, it's weird because my parents live in the neighbor. So I just, you know, I'm like horrified by the thought of like my parents walking by and seeing my wife and I having sex on, you know, unlike our, our, unlike one of the tables in the house. But I don't, you know, whatever. Yeah, no, of course. Could we go back to your ED thing because I just want people to really understand like what, like how you got there? Because you're like, oh, it took me 10 years. But it sounds like it just kind of like disappeared. Like, do you feel like it just disappeared or what do you think was like the solution the second time around? Because it sounds like the first time around the Viagra. and just knowing that you had that help.

Maybe it was psychological too. I don't know that. Like, you had that help a little bit. Or was it just the losing the weight that you think that really changed the game when you were younger? And then because it just disappeared the second time. It seems like you had issues twice. Do you think the first time it was the losing the weight that changed the game? Yes, definitely.

It was the losing the weight and just being healthier. So eating better, not drinking. And I wasn't like a heavy, heavy drinker. I wasn't drinking, you know, like every night. If I was at a work function or something like that and I travel 100 nights a year, my work functions a lot. I'd have two or three drinks. It was never a go party all night and be up until three in the morning. But I still felt like I can eliminate that and not really miss anything. Yeah. So, and I know you've gone through your whole sobriety journey.

And I'm not sober, but I also not, you know, I just, I drink very, very little. My wife doesn't know her at all. Yeah. She probably hasn't had a drink in 15 years. She was, it was never a problem for her. She just doesn't like the way it makes her feel. We don't do anything else. We don't take drugs or anything like that. I think the second time around, the biggest difference was having the conversation with my wife saying, this is how I'm feeling, you know, with the shame and the guilt.

And I just, I don't think having that conversation and then not having issues are unlinked. And it's weird. I'm not normally into the like the woo shit, you know. But I think communicating with my life was really important. and communicating how I feel is not, you know, without getting into too much therapy, I'm not very good at that because I generally can, you know, with my job, I don't really have a, I can't care how I feel.

You know, I've got 75 people that work for me. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. My feelings aren't important. There's are. So I've never been good at expressing that. And I think just the expressing that lifted a weight off of both of our shoulders.

and and and I they're just there haven't been problems and obviously I think being more diverse in what we're doing helps too because a lot of the stuff is new yeah so we're we're not uh you know we're not just missionary for 15 or 20 minutes and then done there's we're do yeah I mean we're we're in every position imaginable we've tried I'm gonna I'm gonna say there we've tried pretty much everything that two people can try together without anybody else being involved. Right. And I think that variety just lends itself to being more interested. For you too. Like so it's twofold maybe. Like having that conversation and getting that out of your head, right? Because I would think that being in your head about it is only going to take whatever issue you have now it's going to make it tenfold, right? Because now you're

in your head and thinking about it and if you're not talking your wife about it and you have these ed issues, it's going to make it 10 times worse. But instead, you just, like, threw it out there instead of keeping it in your head. And then that helped. And then you change the game in the bedroom. Now you have two hours to get hard, not 15 minutes. Like, does that come into play too because there's so much time? Like, do you have issues in that time or like zero issues at all?

No, and I think I'm pretty normal in the sense that over two hours, I'm not going to be hard for two hours. Exactly. And so there's an, there's an ebb and a flow. and when I and when we're having sex that the hard thing is not a problem but a lot of times it goes down when I'm not inside her but I'm doing other things and I've found that I really like pleasing her it's my favorite part of having sex and and that wasn't always the case yeah which wasn't always the case and I think and we talk a lot more about sex now too which was never something we did before we just kind of did it but now we talk a lot of

we're more communicative, which I also think is a different way to connect. And you know, like, you've got to be connected to the person that you're having sex life. I think there's probably some guys that don't need to be, but I'm not one of them. And I need that connection with my wife. And so, you know, there are times when we'll be kind of flirting all day. You know, we're not, we don't send pictures. We don't like sex or anything like that. We'll call her in the middle of the day randomly and just say, hey, really looking forward to tonight or something like that.

or she'll do something similar to me. And that just kind of keeps us, it keeps it going. And like there's anticipation for like, oh, tonight, tonight's going to be a fun night. You know, but in the moment, I just don't worry about it anymore. Like if I'm soft for some reason, I don't, I don't worry about am I going to be able to get hard. And I think that was, that's the biggest like mental shift. Totally. So before, as soon as it was soft, it's like, oh, shit, it's happening again.

What am I going to do? And then you're completely distracted, like totally distracted. Yeah, of course. And it's only going to get worse. Yeah, if you don't, if you keep, and if you don't talk to your girl and she's secretly thinking it's her, that's not going to make things great either. And then if she starts looking at your dick and starts having a question like, what the fuck's wrong with it, blah, blah, blah, like that's only now you've gone down the terrible path as far as I'm concerned of like, you know, where it's not going to be fixed because she's upset because she thinks it's her, which is very normal for a woman to feel. You know what I mean? And you're feeling pressure to keep it up and now you're in your head about it. And now you're never going to get past it. Like what I did when my guy couldn't get it up, I'm like, just put it in soft. I never looked at it. I never gave a shit. I never said one thing. And then before you know it, he was hard all the fucking time. And then he got pissed at me because I fixed his dick and he didn't like it. Well, we have that too. So there's sometimes all just put it in soft. And within, you know, within 30 seconds, it's ready to go. Yeah. And I mean, I still use Viagra occasionally because it's a fun thing to do.

Like, I mean, when we were on vacation, I definitely used Viagra because there's no fucking kids around. So it was like, I want to be able to go whenever the fuck we need to. Yeah. And, you know, one thing that I found with the Viagra, too, is, and I don't know if it's supposed to linger like this, but generally it's good for like 12 hours. So if I take it at night, I wake up the next morning and I am like absolutely ready to fucking go. And she's not a morning person at all.

And I'm like a, I'm normally up at 4.30 the morning. I'm like ready to, ready to go out there and just kill people. So, you know, when I turn over it at 630 or 7 o'clock in the morning and I'm like, you know, like, hey, you're ready? And she's like, oh, just put it in and don't like basically put it in and don't bug me. You know, and that was not stuff that happened before. And I feel like it's, again, it's a different way for us to be connected. And so much of it comes down to that connection. And, you know, as a, as, you know, we've been together forever, I'm not willing to,

loser over something stupid like, I'm not going to talk about our sex life. And, you know, I just think about you talk about problem solvers and problem havers. It's like I think of my, my day-to-day life at work, it's like so many people just refuse to have a conversation that's not necessarily hard. It might be a little bit uncomfortable, but it's not a hard conversation to have. And then it builds and it builds and it builds and it builds until one day, you've got to have like a really hard conversation that you're not really prepared for. And, you know, it's the same thing with, you know, our sex life where it's like, well, at some point, if I'm not having sex with her, somebody's going to have sex with her. And, you know, that's that buildup point to where

you get somewhere and you're like, she's cheating or, you know, whatever. And I didn't ever want to put her in that position where, and this is something I learned really through listening to like your podcast and listening to all the fucking cheating stories and being like, oh, that's why I have them on. That's why I have them on. I feel like people could learn. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's why. I have them on not to be like, oh, cheating's fine. Who the fuck cares? It's like, no, you don't want to ever wind up in this position. Listen, he these story warnings, okay?

This is going to tell you exactly all the reasons. This is going to tell you the steps that happened before these people fucking cheat it. Like, that's what it's about. But I feel like most people are not okay having an uncomfortable conversation. Exactly. It was fucking uncomfortable to tell my wife, I have a lot of shame around. sex and guilt all of those all those feelings it wasn't fucking easy but it was also something that sort of transformed our sex life so and and it goes both ways i mean she also has to be receptive

to listening to it and understanding that it's not her and it took her some time to process that because we we kept talking about it was this was not like you know the one conversation kind of got us going but it we talked about it you know various times started the last year and a half you know And she really feels like now that we're in a totally different place than we were. And she feels like she's able to let go a little bit more or a lot more and be way more present in her body, which she's not happy with. And, you know, like, simple shit, she would never let me have sex with the lights on because she was ashamed of the way she looked, which is fucking ridiculous. But that's, that's, I think, a woman thing at this point where it really doesn't matter what your body is. It doesn't matter what you say or what you think.

If she thinks, if she does not feel good about herself, you could go blue in the face telling her how hot she is. It has to come from her. It's how she feels about herself, unfortunately. Well, and I think there's some show me there too, where it's like, okay, you tell me I'm so hot, would you please get your dick harder? Fuck me.

And I also think, you know, it's stupid to say like having sex with lights on is sort of a, it's like a good thing. But it's like, I like seeing her body. And I like seeing what I'm doing. And I feel like, and the blindfold really help with that. Like, blindfolding or really helped. And again, that's a pretty simple, but I, again, like learning these tricks throughout the year and a half of what gets her off has really helped me.

Because I'm very much not thinking about myself when we're having sex. I'm rarely thinking about me at all. You're not focused on whether your dick is hard or not. And that probably took all that pressure off of you because you. you and you put the all the stuff on to her to please her which i think is kind of like such a smart way to kind of switch things up and change things around and i'm so fucking competitive kathy like i i it's it's become a fucking game at this point where it's like with your chart because you got that shirt there so it keeps you on your toes all that data the only thing that

like i haven't gotten yet that i'm really fucking trying for is scoring that's the and i know you've got that that too but it's like that's the one thing that i just i've just i've gotten her, I've gotten her close a couple of times when I've really, I've really, really been trying. And I, you know, she, she's afraid to release. That's the big thing. And she's just like, afraid to let it go. Well, that's where in this situation, that's her thing that she has to get out of her head. It's all about that. I have a new episode coming out with Susan Bratton that talks a lot about it. We talk about it again, you know, but that is her thing. And she's got to, she's got to do what you did, which is get out of her head. Because, and especially the more like,

because I know I have an issue and the more like every guy wants to be the guy to make me squirt. So they try so hard. And I think it's because it's like pressure for me. You know what I mean? It's like if you're like letting her know that you really want her to squirt, it's almost going to be worse because now she wants to do it for you. But it's like pressure and that pressure gets in the way. Yeah. And she knows that I want to do it.

But she doesn't, I'm not entirely sure she's always aware of when I'm trying. That's good. That's good. I'm not talking to her like, hey, squirt now. Yeah. You know, but I'll use toys or I'll use my hands in a different way. And again, like, educated, it's good with that because you can actually sort of see what's going on. You can get, you can get somebody talking you through it.

You know, I think for her, the block is like, you know, she's afraid that she's going to, like, pee everywhere. Yeah. And I've told her a couple times, like, just don't worry about who cares? Like, what does it matter? Yeah, that's a bad block for her to have. She can't care. You have to let her know that you're going to, like, fucking love it. Yeah, and I don't, I mean, if she does pee, like, I don't, what do I care?

It's not pee, it's water, first of all. Okay, she's not going to pee, but it's going to feel like she's going to pee. That's the truth. That's what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah, and so I feel like that one I'm going to get in like maybe the next six months. So I bought her the female Viagra, the cream stuff. Yeah.

We've used it a couple of times now. And she's like, I don't really feel anything different. But then, of course, you know, mucinator looking at my fucking chart. I'm like, well, I don't know. you had like the two most powerful orgasms you've had last six months are using the fucking cream. So you tell me. Oh my God, that's awesome. Did you try the, the oxytocin pills?

This came next. That's what I remember. They have them now for guys. He's going to be on my show talking about they have those oxytocin. They're like tablets or something. I never knew that that's a thing for women too, actually for like, you know, pleasure or something. But that's so fun. I love that you sort of utilizing all these things.

And Betjicated, I always say these in my ad. But what I love about them is like they show you real things happening. And that really is like the best and easiest way to learn. Right. Like you could see it in action. Like I'm not joking. Like I've gone on and watched their courses. Like and you have too.

You're here to say it's like the fucking truth. It's like amazing. Well, and I feel like a lot of people aren't willing to put in the work. You know, and like, you know, welcome to life. But it's a great way to learn. And then you can go and apply it right away. It's like, shit. It's fun.

I can fucking look at it on an Uber ride on my way back from the airport. And when I get home, I can try it right away. It's fucking weird sitting there in the Uber. It's like you're covering the phone and like trying to make sure that the fucking, you know, the Uber driver, you're trying to have a conversation about, you know, the weather. Oh my God, and you're on educated. Oh, my God, that's hilarious. I'm sitting there on educated like half hard going, all right, okay, I got to remember to do this

tonight. Okay, how do I do that with my hands again? Let me rewind. And it's, it's, you know, I think it's fun. Like, and for, my recommendation to people is just start trying this stuff. And that's, that's really what we did as a couple was we just said, we're just going to start trying everything that we can think of. She's not into. But do you think that that's the thing for, like, ED too. Like is that your like sort of if you were to like sum it all up? You know, would it be twofold like lose the weight if you have to or look into your blood work

and get anything physical out and then deal with like maybe some sort of block that's going on or have those conversations or stop thinking about yourself? Like what would you say you think are the fixes if you were going to give people a solution? Doctor first. Go to the doctor first. You've got to make sure that there's not an underlying health problem. Because if there is and now it's too easy. You don't need, like, you can go online and you can get Viagra pills, you know, remotely without actually addressing an underlying medical problem.

So it's really important, especially for guys that are in their, you know, that are in their 30s that might not have gone to the doctor for 10 years because, you know, we're fucking superhuman at that age. You know, definitely go to the doctor. And then, you know, don't worry about yourself. And I think that's probably like a good life lesson. Don't worry about yourself. Yeah. You know, but when I started making her the only focus, it. really changed. Like, it really changed how we approach sex as a couple and how I'm able to

stay hard. And these days, I mean, I don't ever have a problem. And I've tried, by the way, too, I've tried pumping as well, which definitely helps. I don't do it all the time anymore. I didn't do it to gain size or anything like that. It was just another way to stay. Well, it helps with blood flow. Yeah, it helps with both of them. Yeah. That's what they say. Yeah. And then I, it's sort of a weird one, but I definitely suggest, like, make sure you are hard every day. Like, I don't know if that, again, that's interesting. Like, it's like, use it or lose it. This is not medical advice. This is, like, you know, guy to guy advice. Just keep it hard every day. And I, because I find that if I go, I mean, when I travel, like, look, there are some days that I, I'm not going to, I don't have time to beat off.

You know, like, I'm, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere in Asia. And I've got to, I've got a, you know, I'm getting to a hotel at 10 o'clock at night. I get a breakfast meeting at 7 the next morning. Like, I just, I don't, I don't functionally have time. But generally, I'm able to at least be hard every day. Doesn't mean I'm always ejaculating. Sometimes that's, I, you don't probably don't want to over ejaculate either. You know, but just like, it's like a muscle, right?

And I'm keeping it, keeping the blood flow moving, I just think is so important. Yeah. And I talk to my wife about this too. I'm like, when I'm not there, you should absolutely be. playing with yourself. And I think that sort of scares a lot of guys because they feel like their wife might be better at it than they are. That's actually a good thing because what I found is that, you know, I said, okay, what are the things that you like when you're doing it along? Tell me so that I can try to recreate some of that. Or, you know, maybe I can show you ways to

improve it. Like now she puts the dillows in her cell phone on I'm on there, which is totally different from what she was doing before. She would have never done that before. So I just feel like learning, you know, learning more about your partner. And it goes both ways to it. say, you know, this goes, you know, from my, for me to my wife, for my wife to me, you know, just learning the other person's body and taking the, taking the time to understand what makes them tick is, like, really important, especially for couples who have been together for a long, long time. It's, I'm sure if I was with a 25-year-old, you know, as a mid-40s guy, so the 25-year-old girl right now, I have no problem getting it up, you know, but as you, as you

evolve and you get into, you know, it's like a more mature relationship, I think it's really hard to stay connected. And you've just got to be in the discipline of staying connected all the time. Yeah, I think that as the older you get, like, everything has to be intentional. You have to really make a decision that this is what you want to do. Or you go on autopilot. And this is like most people's problems. Sorry. You know, it's like why most people are bitter. Most people are unhappy. Most people aren't getting fucked. Most people are overweight because what happens is they go on autopilot. Life gets hard. It's like fucking groundhog day. You just everything sweep everything under the rug. And before you know it, you know, 30 years have gone by and you have intended to

fucking thing. You have to like say to yourself like I want to remain happy. I want to continue to have sex. I want to do this. The older you get. And if you don't like make that an intention and don't really consciously make the point to do those things, you're not going to, it's not going to just stay that way. Because and that's what happens. And that's the problem I think with most people. So I just think that it's most people who are listening to this episode are more like you, right? like the people that are listening to podcasts, the people that are tuning into this episode, they're the,

I think they are the problem solvers. They're not the problem havers, or they wouldn't be looking for this kind of information. So I think like the people listening are really going to take in what you're saying because they're here for a reason, you know, and they're the type of people that are going to go out

and fucking listen to you and maybe do what you said and take these tips and, you know, instead of like not going to the doctor or not trying to do what you did. So I think it's like super helpful. That makes sense. I really hope that if you're having EAD issues that you actually address them and that you really put the time in to figure out what's going on with your body.

I just think too many men ignore these sorts of problems because we're too, you know, we have all this testosterone flowing through us and, you know, we could just make it work. And it's to our own detriment. And it's hard. Like this is hard work. And this has been 10 years of kind of on and off problems. Well, it must have been devastating for you for that, like, you to sort of conquer it when you're like 30 and then for it to come back again. And it sounds like when it came back, you were like more concerned when you were a little bit older, you know. And I just think that it was probably like, oh, no, you thought you were done with that, right? And then all of a sudden it came back and you're like, what the fuck? So, but I think that it's like because you sort of had it happened two different times and you you dealt with it differently both times. It's kind of interesting. You know, so people could try both things. that you said, the solutions, and maybe that could work for them.

That's what, I mean, this is why I have these episodes, just like the cheating episodes. I have an episode like this with you talking about all this stuff, so people could learn from it. And anyone that's going to be tuning into this has ED issues, right? And I think you gave them a lot of good information. And I think it makes sense. It sounds kind of simplistic. The second one, the first one is like the losing weight and all that is like really important. But look, I mean, six months after you tending to things, it really changed the game.

It was like just six months of really doing the right diet and losing weight and exercising is what helped you. It wasn't like 10 years of that. No, no. I mean, it was, it really, it was six months until I was at a normal level. But it really started getting better after like three months, where it was things were starting to normalize and I could feel it and I could see it. But, you know, I mean, the other thing is if you're a woman or a guy and your, your partner

is having this particular issue. I talk to them right away. Like, if they're having the issue and they're not talking to you, you've got to talk to them. Yeah. And it's uncomfortable and it sucks. But get them talking because the most important thing that, or I'd say the most dangerous thing that can happen is they do have an underlying medical issue and they're not addressing it. Which could, you know, it could kill them. It could cause long-term health problems.

And, you know, having that or I think doing that the first go around was just, It was so important to get to the doctor and to just hear, okay, this is what's going on with your body. And this is what you need to do to fix it. Yeah, but what's interesting is the second time you went to your doctor. That was going to be the fix. And it was like everything was fine. So then what do you do? Then you did the second thing, which was like really have this conversation.

And you tackled the same problem in a different way. And that worked as well, which I think is super interesting. You know, it's two different. Yeah, it's two different moves. But it's two different solutions. one might work for somebody else, you know what I mean? Like one work for you, but they both, you know, you had a two different time. So I think you're speaking to a lot of people here, right?

Like some people might just be the weight problem. Nowadays with the GLP ones and everything, like I think it's great that people could take that kind of stuff and they could lose weight even faster. Or, you know, you have the mental kind of problem that you had, right? And just talking to your partner and communicating about it and then focusing on her all that stuff is the solution for that person. You happen to have it twice, right? and two different things fix it, which I think is great information for my audience. What do we call you, Paul? Paul, right?

Paul, I just want to make sure. All right, Paul, listen, thank you so much for calling in. I love this episode. Like I told you, I was like, you know, my sexual health Saturdays, I have a lot of experts and doctors on, but I really love having real people, just regular people who have had these kinds of issues talking about it because I think it's even more helpful and because people could relate. You know, there's a lot of guys that have ED issues.

And, you know, I think so those are the, and those are the kind of people that are going to be tuning into this episode. I wish we even more people tuned in because I love that you, you know, you're also like sort of changed the game. If pretend you didn't have any ED issues, the fact that you went from a guy that like wasn't really thinking about your wife. I mean, you were doing fine. You're just like fucking her like regular. But like that you really changed this thing of like you just being more focused on her and pleasing her and that how you became that person that loved that. And then that changed it for her and added so much I think that's interesting on its own without the ED, you know? Yeah, definitely.

And I think that's probably like a couples that have been together for a long time. Yeah. There just needs to be some variety. It doesn't mean with other people, although, you know, that's kind of interesting too. But, you know, you can have variety within, you know, with just partner sex. You just need to be intentional about it like we talked about earlier. And you've got to do, you've got to do the work. Like there's, it's not.

And you got to be open about it. No, but you also have to be open about it. And you have to be down to try new things and you can't be afraid of toys like guys and all that kind of good stuff. I think you gave people a lot of good information. I'll make sure to put it in the description so lots of people tune in. But Paul, listen, thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. I'm going to air it this Saturday. I told you, like, right when we get off, I'm going to edit it.

So you'll hear yourself, you know, in your Uber ride. You can listen to your episode. But anyway, thanks so much for calling in and sharing your story. I think it was super interesting. All right. Thanks, Kathy. Have a wonderful day. You too.

Bye, Paul. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession secret sex lives of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and

ebook but you can pre-order the audiobook it's still not going to be out till august 25th but you can pre-order it the book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show i kind of picked one story from each category that i talk about on my show like there's a hot wife story there's a cuck queen story there's a cuck story there's a ginked story there's a gang being girl's story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories,

17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you

can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that I do have a book coming out. It was supposed to come out on October 14th, but there was major printing issues. I got a batch. They were not approved by me. I was like, no effing way, please reprint these. And they actually are. And that is pushing back the date to December 2nd. Okay, so you still have time to pre-order the book.

The book is called Shirkly anonymous confessions. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. The book is basically seven different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a Cuck Queen story. There's a Cuckold story. There's a gang-bang girl story.

There's like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person. I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show. You're going to learn a lot. You're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to hear these stories, like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an e-book available. If you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book, get the e-book. It's available. There will be an audio. book available very soon after it comes out. I did not narrate it. I was going to, but I passed on it because I sucked at the job. Okay, I couldn't do it at all, but I got a hot check to narrate the book. So you're going to dig the audiobooks. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. That is my gift to you for getting my book. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you'll get the Discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks. Okay, it's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there.

and everybody shares content with each other. That's what's great about Discord. You get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there. It's a super fun place to be. I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my Discord. It is private. It's the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link.

And that's why I think my Discord is so great because I have vetted people. It's not like it's just open to the public. So everybody that's in there are people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great. So my Discord is fucking great. My book is great. You're going to love it. If you buy it, all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it,

and I will give you free access to my Discord. Send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. You can find my book in the link in the description, okay, or just Google at Strictly Anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. You can find it anywhere. You buy books. Send me the picture and I'll give you access to my Discord email, strictly anonymous podcast at Gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.