Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1267 - Amy on Shameless Sex, Sex Toys, her Open Relationship and More

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

Amy Baldwin from the Shameless Care podcast called in to talk all about shameless sex, sex toys, her open relationship, and more. Tune in to hear all the details including how and why she decided to study human sexuality and why she wound up opening up a sex toy shop with her mom instead and then how she eventually became a certified sex educator, how and why it took her a long time to have orgasms and how she ultimately learned how to have them all and to squirt, how her open minded upbringing helped her have zero shame when it came to sex, her fave sex toys, how she met her current partner, their open relationship and how it’s set up, her fave kind of threesome and what she enjoys most about it, how they both feel about seeing each other with others, how and why jealousy comes up sometimes and how they deal with it, what she tackles on her podcast as well as in her book plus a whole lot more. You can find all her stuff here: https://www.shamelesssex.com ⁠**To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I change everyone's voices, just send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcasts.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. If you want to call the Confessions hotline and leave a naughty confession, you could do that 247. The number is 347-4-7-4-579. That's 347-4-203579. Some of those confessions make it on to a confessions episode where me and Erica or another co-host talk about them. All the rest go on to my Patreon. Now my Patreon is a really great deal, especially if you don't like my intros. They get all my episodes early, ad free, and now intro free. Okay. You also get to see all the hot anonymous picks of all of my guests, plus you get Q&As, plus you get if you sign up, I will throw in complimentary access to my Discord. I offer a couple different ways to get into my Discord.

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The last thing I want to tell you about is I do have a free trial to anyone that wants to sign up for SDC. Okay, SDC is like the world's largest adult online dating site, but you also get to learn about all the stuff that's going on in your area. Okay, you also get educational information. They tell you everything you need to know

is on SDC.com. If you want the free trial, use my code 377-1-2 or the easiest thing to do is go to the description and click. I'm like, oh, and I want to tell you about my Patreon. Sometimes if you go and Google it yourself, you're not going to see it because it's like 18 plus. So just click on the link in the description to find my Patreon and it'll take you where you need to be. Okay, today I have on Amy, Amy from Shameless Sex Podcast, ShamelessSex.com. She's a sex and relationship coach.

She's also a podcast host of Shameless Sex podcast. She's awesome. She's so cool. She's been on her path to be a sex educator like her whole. life. I got her whole backstory and it's super interesting. She came from a very open background. She talks about that, how she got into it. I mean, this was her passion from day one. And then it just grew. She wound up running a sex toy shop with her mom like many, many years ago. I was like, wow, you're very ahead of the time, especially with your mom, you know, her whole story with

her mom is great. She tells the whole story. And then I got like her personal story as well. I mean, as open and curious as she was, she talks about like when she learned how to organize. how she did what her issues were as well as like her history with non-monogamy and relationship. She's currently in an open relationship. And I love her relationship story. Wait till you find out who she wound up with and how she met her guy. It's very interesting to me. She's currently in a non-monogamous relationship and how it's set up and how they roll is super interesting. So you're going to love that part of the story too. So we talk about a whole bunch of things. She's fun. She's open. She's shameless and you're going to love her.

I'll put all the links to her stuff in the description. Her podcast is shameless sex. But anyway, I'm going to get right to be right back on with Amy. Hi, Amy. Amy Baldwin, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Amy Baldwin from Shameless Sex. I feel like I have been seeing your show by mine like for so many years.

How long you've been podcasting for? We, oh my goodness. I think we forgot that we just had our eight year anniversary in June. So we're eight and a half years old. that thing. Yeah, and you have a great podcast with a great name, shameless sex, which is like a great name. You are a sex and relationship coach. You're an educator. You used to own a sex, like a sex toy shop. Right now, it's just like online. I can't wait to talk sex toys with you because I'm obsessed with sex toys. You know, it's, but first I want to get like your whole backstory, because I always

wonder, like I know you're, you know, why somebody would get into being a sex and relationship coach plus you and you know you have your podcast and stuff and you know are you like were you always super open sexually like you know what you want to talk about like your history and stuff like that first yeah sure yeah obviously i'm not anonymous i'm amy baldon of the shameless sex podcast and many other things i wear many hats i am now 40 years old i live in the area of santa cruz california that's where i am from and so to answer one of your questions i definitely was raised i'd say in a more progressive community and had a very progressive mom. My dad certainly was not that, but not around sexuality. He, if I were to go home, be like, Dad, I voted for Obama. He'd be like, I'm going to disown you.

But if I was a dad, I took some mushrooms and had an orgy, he'd be like, that's interesting. So, yeah. Yeah. So, uh, interesting Santa Cruz upbringing. My mom made sure, so I'm, I'm an only childish. I have a half-sister, but my mom made sure that I was raised knowing that sex wasn't shameful that I could go to her if I wanted to get on birth control, if there was a safety issue. It was never this like, you have to wait until marriage or you're 18 or we're never going to talk about it. So she definitely taught me a lot about more about the safer sex stuff. And I also had comprehensive sex education in school because, you know, California. Oh, really?

She gave me, yes, yes, but they don't talk about pleasure. So that was the thing that was missing, both with conversations with my mom and in school. So I learned about birth control and I did go to my mom before I had penetrative sex for the first time and told her I wanted to get on birth control and it was totally fine and safe. So learned about all these things but not like all the other components, healthy masturbation, like, you know, dating and pleasure and positions and how to ask her what I want, how to even know what I wanted, how to discuss bad. boundaries and yeah just all these missing pieces that I had to learn the hard way and so and I already was so open-minded mentality upbringing and was that person was a little who was a little more outspoken in terms of conversations with friends about sexuality and dating and so that coming that with adding so combining that with not understanding my body not understanding sex having sex with people and being like where's the orgasm I heard it's a thing but I I just never saw something that happened between me and partners. So I was just really interested in the topic. And so I chose this path because of my own confusion, combined with curiosity, combined with the openness that I was raised with.

So when I was 18, I took a human sexuality class at our community college, loved every second of the course and the textbook, even though the instructor was quite dry in the way that she would teach. And I decided if I was going to go to school for X amount of years, I might as well go to school for something. I'm really curious about in love. So I chose sexuality. And I thought I wanted to be a sex therapist. So I was going to school for that. And along the way, my mom and I decided we would open up a sex shop in Santa Cruz. Oh, that's how you got off path.

Oh, interesting. I like that. So I was already in school and trying to become a sex therapist. And by the way, opening a sex shop will make you not want to become a sex therapist. I will explain that to you in a second. Yeah, yeah. I can't wait. So we were inspired by the sex shop chain, smaller chain then, but now it's bigger, good vibrations.

They're based in the area. Yeah, you know them. Yeah, so we wanted to open up a store like that where we did weekly sex education classes. We weren't hiding toys in the back room. It was like, you know, out and proud we are a sex shop that sells only high quality materials and everyone that works here as an educator. And so we did that. We opened that store in 2000.

eight. A great year to open up a business, I know. But you were very ahead of the time, right? I mean, doing what you were doing. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. And a mother-daughter sex shop, right? So we were learning about sexuality with each other, talking about sexuality to customers right next to each other, taking workshops together, like rope bondage and Tantra 101 and anal sex 101. Yeah. I wasn't like, mom, how old is your anal sex? Like, we weren't doing that. Yeah, I wasn't inappropriate. Yeah. But through owning the, the, sex shop so I'm still going to finishing my degree to become a well my degree was essentially as I said to become a sex therapist but working on the retail floor at its pure pleasure is the name of the sex shop now we've we've actually sold it in 2019 we still have it online it's pure pleasure shop

dot com anyways people regard you as their therapist often at a sex shop at sex shop employees they tell you all their things and I just realized I'm more interested in giving people to as opposed to going back and healing their childhood trauma stuff. Yeah. So then I continued on from there to refine that art. It became a certified sex educator, a sex and relationship coach. I've done many different trainings.

I've even done holistic psychotherapy trainings. And so I've kind of created this whole world of sexuality where I wear many different hats. And now there's the podcast. And now April and I wrote a book. Yeah, all these little pieces. So yeah, I'm all over the place, but it's almost all within sexuality. Oh, it doesn't sound. It sounds like you, you know, you started in one place and it just expanded, but you're still in the same place. I mean, you knew what you wanted to do right from the get-go. I admire that. I mean, that wasn't me, but, you know, I think when I talk to most people who are doing, you know, who are in your business or even just podcasters that are talking about sex are always people who are very curious about it and always wanting to talk about it and open about it from day one for some reason. Like what were you, you said in the beginning, like you weren't having orgasms with your partners. Did you learn how to do? do that through your schooling or through when you had your sex shop, like with your mom, like with your toys?

Well, my very first orgasm was when I was 18 and what's really cool about it is it was from a sex toy and it's a sex story I bought from another sex shop that's here in Santa Cruz. So when we open up our shop, I still love that store because I was like, even though we're your competition and you're essentially ours, like, y'all gave me my first orgasm. Yeah, oh my God. So at that point, I had already had maybe like four or five sexual partners, meaning like oral and penetrative sex, and I never had an orgasm. Granted, like the first handful of them, handful, meaning, well, actually, know, like three

of them never offered to go down on me nor did I ever ask for that. And so oral sex in receiving was always tricky for me for a while, not anymore, thank God, but it was tricky because it's just, there's this old programming around it, like, you know, this isn't something that people want to do for me. I'm more of the doer, which it took me years to, I feel like it wasn't until my 30s that I actually undid that one. And yeah, so I had my first orgasm from a vibrator that's no longer on the market. It was called the water dancer and it's a small, almost like pocket rocket style vibrator. And I had an, I use it on my own and I had an orgasm and squirted it, my very first orgasm.

I was like, you're kidding. And you just, did you put it inside or were you just like using it on the clip? Just on the clip. Yeah. And you were able to score? And I squirted too. And luckily I knew what that was where I wasn't like, oh my God, I just PN. And I come from a lineage of squirters.

My mom's a squirder. My grandma was a squirter. So, you know, it's easy in our bodies. Well, I mean, I think that we have a similar build, right? So certain people's build, it might be easier for them to squirt than others. And so that's the case for, yeah, for me. But yeah, actually having orgasms through penetrative sex, In my 20s, it was very much about incorporating sex toys into the mix at the same time.

Yeah. And then in my 30s, I really learned how to have orgasms during penetrates sex. They're with a cock or with just fingers on my clip, whether it's mine or someone else's. Sometimes fingers inside of me and also learned how to orgasm with mouths on my pussy, which is a newer thing for me for the last like three or four years that I'm really into and have amazing orgasms from it. Yes, I know. I didn't like oral sex until like three or four years ago.

You have like my story. Love giving. Love giving. You have my story like backwards but 10 times better. Everyone that listens to my show knows that I'm obsessed with figuring I had a squirt and I just can never and I'm like so jealous of anyone that I could fucking squirt. No, but I have like this thing with like fingering and I'm getting past it. Like I never liked fingering. I think I was like assaulted when I was younger.

And I just. Yeah. I'd be like if someone's going to finger me, I'd be like put three in or more because like I don't want like a pokey, pokey one finger in there feeling around. Poked, yeah. No one likes creepy pokey finger. Oh, you too? No. Yeah.

So I'm like... Oh, yeah, totally. I remember the first time I was finger. Remember the term finger banging? Yeah, yeah. When I was actually like fingers, like first time that fingers on my pussy or honor in my pussy. And it was, I remember the song that was playing. It was the you and me, baby and nothing but mammals anyways.

I know that's fun. I don't love that song. It was not a fun experience. And it felt terrible. Yeah. It was terrible. Yeah. Like, I mean, I didn't know what was going on.

that person didn't know what they were doing. They were not a nice person either. So you learned, though, to get past that because that's, I think, my problem with squirting. But, I mean, you could squirt just from your clip being similar. I always love oral sex. I mean, that was always the easiest for me. And I found my clit when I was very young by, like, accident. I mean, I was, like, really little.

Like, you never found, like, your clit with your hand or a pencil or anything even when you were little? No, I would check it out. Like, I knew I would check things out, but I was more interested. Like, I was more interested in, like, the smell. and the texture, but I never had an experience where I actually had like a lot of pleasure or an orgasm. So I was not a masturbating child, which is so interesting from because I'm such an open-minded person you would think I was.

Like April, who had the podcast with, was raised very conservative in the Midwest, yet she discovered masturbation at age five. She was like pumping her teddy bear at age five. Yeah, that was. And I grew up in a non-conservative upbringing and didn't do that. Yeah, that's so interesting. this holiday season. Instead of making a great first impression, why not make a great lasting impression? And that's where Blue Chew comes in. Blue Chew helps give men longer lasting and stronger erections.

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Just use promo code strictly anon. check out and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to Bluetooth.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. I think I was. Like April, who had the podcast with, was raised very conservative in the Midwest.

Yet she discovered masturbation at age five. She was like pumping her teddy bear at H5. And I grew up in a not conservative upbringing and didn't do that. Yeah, that's so interesting. I mean, do you have kids, by the way? Like, what's your real status right now? I never birth children. My partner of six years has, he has three kids that are 15, 18, and 20.

So they're not like children. Like, I met one of them when he was like nine. So, but no, I never had, no, I never birth children. Yeah, no, I only because I have a kid, I have a kid. He's 10. And I had a baby way later in life on my own. And, you know, people would be like, oh. And I just, your story's interesting.

because I'm very open when it comes to sex, obviously, because what I do. And I talk to my son, and it's just me and him. So, you know, I talk to him like he's a real person. So he knows what I do. And I'm very open about it. And some people would be like, oh, do you think you're going to fuck up your kid? I'm like, no, if anything, I think I'm just going to make him like more normal. Yeah, my father was irreverent. I was like, you know, going to town. I was like so promiscuous because it was so naughty. You know what I mean? So I just sometimes think like being in more open minded sort of place helps you in a way. Like, yeah, you might have not been jerking off when you're five, but you know, you probably have a way healthier relationships anyway.

You know. A hundred percent and the way I've treated my body in terms of sex and especially in terms of safety has been compared to other people who didn't have the same upbringing as me or not the same, but something similar. I definitely have put myself in a lot less risky situations when it comes to sexuality. Exactly. And that's one thing I'm really grateful for. That's the benefit of your mom being open. That's what I think really, it really helps. And especially like, I mean, Listen, your podcast is called Shameless Sex. I'm sure her being open about it with you. And I think it's so important.

It took away that shame because so many women have that. So many people have it. You know, I have people calling into my show of all ages and so many people are still living a very secret life because of their shame around what they do when it comes to sex in the bedroom, you know? It's terrible. Yeah. Totally.

Yeah. We get a lot of those too, a lot of emails from people that it's, I mean, it's why I'd say that's like why I have a job is because a shame, I think, is what. one of the primary reasons. That in porn, thank you porn, for confusing everyone. Yeah, yeah. Because people are just loft. They're like, my body doesn't do what I heard, heard other bodies do, what I saw in porn, or this thing that I'm into, these things I'm into, it's not normal. God will hate me if I do this. It's, you know, just, all these different pieces there when really, I mean, the motto in the sex positive world is all consensual sex is good sex,

right? So anyone involved, this is why sex with animals, this is not a plug. because they cannot consent, right? And so anyone involved, whether it's just you with your body or with other bodies, as long as it's all consensual, it's all good. It doesn't really matter what you're doing

as long as it's consensual. Yeah, there was a guy who emailed me once that had some sort of weird insect fetish kink, and I was like, I'm sorry, that's like not consensual. I won't have you on my show, fuck off. Like, I'm sorry. No. Everyone's laughed at me.

I'm sorry. That's like, it's not consensual to me. I don't care if it's the weirdest thing I've ever heard about having it on. But yeah, as long as it's consensual, it's all good. and it should be shameless. It's so sad that nowadays, I mean, because listen, we're talking like you got into this 20 years ago with your mom.

You lived in a very progressive place, right? But 20 years ago, or like when you started your, you know, your store and your mom was so open and you were telling her about having sex. Like, that's not how people roll, like we're rolling back then. Totally. You really were ahead of the time. Nowadays, kids are more open with their parents about sex and stuff, and I think that's so great. But most kids weren't able to go to their parents back in the day like you were able to talk to them about it. Yeah, and another interesting thing that is in my family lineage on my mom's side is my grandfather, so her dad, was a porn smuggler.

Oh, what do you use smuggler? He was a bootlegger, not smuggler. He was a TV repair man. Yeah. But when the days when porn was illegal, he would actually sell porn, like, you just illegally. And so when he died, I remember he had all these VHSs that had triple X on there. And my mom's like, what do we do? Do you want it? I'm like, no, I don't really, no, thank you. And he would, when he was losing it, before he died, he was losing his hearing. Yeah. He would on his big screen TV, he would watch porn. It would be cranked up like the neighbors could hear. My mom be like, you need to turn this down. So, yeah. So that side of my family, the Jewish side of my family, that's my mom's lineage. Sex is not a shameful thing.

Yeah, you know what? This always passed down in that family. And, you know, I had a best friend when I was in my 20s and we called him P. P. K. P. P. P. Pornok, and his, his fault, and his family and his grandfather and then he bought like they had stores on 42nd Street when 42nd Street when 42nd Street and he was there when Giuliani came in and shut it all down and he lost everything but he was in that business and in college I would like do porons for him and I would make like descriptions for him because he would like get a porn copy and sell it and all the guys in the store would be like Kathy makes the best descriptions and her stuff and I was like I was always meant to do talk about sex because even back then I was like you know what it was and I don't know if you feel this way it was like back in the day so many years ago it was such a thing that nobody would talk about that I

think because I would get like a lot of tension I think I just did it because like no one else did I was like this is like the greatest way for everyone to think I'm so interesting because nobody wants to talk about it and I don't understand why nobody does I've always been so open about it yeah well I mean a lot of people even just have a hard time saying a couple words related to sexuality some people can't even say the word sex right they're like you know I'm going to go do you know what or whatever and that still exists right and so you have people that aren't afraid to say cock, pussy, whatever sex or fucking or whatever terms you use, making love.

Those people who are not fearful of that, they don't feel anything in their body when they don't, they don't think about it. And the world needs people like that. Not that everyone needs to be like that, too. It's okay to be someone that is more shy or a lot of people are a little bit of a work in progress. They're learning to say things, including just referring to their own bodies, which is an important language when you're having sex with other people.

Yeah, for sure. absolutely and like you did say that when you were working in the sex shop like people would you know you felt like you became their therapist because I could I could assume that you know once that person gave you know went past that first sentence with you were like opened up even slightly and felt like you were comfortable with them they'd be like telling you everything because they feel comfortable with the first time maybe in their life in your store yeah yeah so the store it wasn't like you know even with mother daughter own it wasn't like everything is pink and fluffy it was very neutral and welcoming to everyone and some of the

there's a couple of demographics that were a little fearful to come in. One was men who were used to more of your more seedy porn shop vibe, they would come in there and be a little like, should I be in here? But our job is to make people feel really safe and welcome right away. And so you can see them kind of come in like, oh, God, this is like different than what I'm used to. And then there's other people who just are worried that someone else is going to see them. I always thought it was so hilarious. And people come in and they're like, I'm really afraid, like, what if I see someone I know in here?

And I'd be like, well, they're in here too then. You're both looking for sex. But yeah, this idea of, like, other people knowing just that you're a sexual person, like, is interesting that we're trying to hide that. Let it, and then then adding in, like, a sexually adventurous person who might want to use sex toys. I think one of the issues with that is that there still is this stigma around sex toys. Like, you must be broken. There must be something wrong.

If you need this, the human body is supposed to do everything we want, which is bullshit just as, like, anyone going to therapy doesn't mean you're broken. right you like it's good to add in the bonuses and the help and the support in in the world and we have a lot of that right now so why not utilize that yeah so yeah we had a lot of conversations with people that were initially really afraid to to talk about sex or let us know what they were looking for but just by hearing us talk so openly about it not that we were talking about ourselves we had to be really careful about that actually because you get some fans sometimes of course yeah so yeah so more like you're talking openly about the general population of what humans might be into or not into or a lot of people like this. See, there's the some, many, most, those three words are quite helpful when you're talking to people about sex toys, so you're not generalizing everyone or excluding people. Can I ask you a question about a sex story? Can I ask a question about a sex story that was my ultimate favorite?

I had to throw it down my garbage shoot like two times because I was so obsessed with it. I was like my pussy's going to get damage from this. It was, and it was like on Adam and Eve's top 10 list, it was the number one, and that's reason why I bought it. I've always loved sex toys. And it was called the clit kisser. And I haven't been able to find it. Did you remember the clit kisser? I don't know, but one of the things that I don't know, Adam and Eve does us, but a lot of brands or stores or chains that are brands will change the name. Can you tell me more about what it did? It was like a pussy pump. And then it had like a, it wasn't like a tongue on the inside. Now they have ones like it. I found them on Amazon. They're super

cheap and they break in two seconds. And I just order another one. I don't care. It's like 18 bucks. but like there's nothing like the kit clit kisser and i listen i know how to google okay and if it was out there i even had a shop in china try and make it for me and it and it sucked but it was like a pump it was on the same yeah it was like a pump as well as something like going back and forth on your clit at the same time so you'd be pumping up which i like i like a pussy pump and then with the added vibration and the stimulation on your clit oh my god i wouldn't like leave my house i told my friends i have to throw it out i got to throw it out i'm never going to leave yeah and it was all external the way it was working on the bitch?

Yeah. Yeah. Have you, have you, I don't know that exact one, but have you tried any of the, the new suction, new, they've been around for a while now, but like new, they're newish compared to that toy that you're speaking to? The toys by womanizer or Satisfire? Yeah, the ones that they just like suck in your clit, like with the air. I've had a couple of them.

Yeah, they're okay. I like the whole thing. I like a pussy pump. Like, I like the whole part of everything to be sucked in and like whatever. It's actually super intense. I recommended someone in Discord and they're like, holy shit, I couldn't do it. I was like, oh, maybe I'm like crazy and my sort of toy isn't so great. So different.

Yeah, no, no, no. So everyone's so different. So you're talking about this something that doesn't just hone in the clay, it homes and also on the inner and outer labia too. And a lot of people, I've talked like April and I are great examples. They're very, very different in our desires for stimulation. Right. We like different things.

I didn't realize, so we do know that the pussy is the same as the cock. Yeah, Susan Bratton. Yeah, exactly. They're just organized in different places, but they basically made the same tissues. And so the external labia, which is generally like the bigger, more puffy tissue that's around the internal labia, that in itself is a reptile tissue. So it makes sense that you would like that to be engorged and stimulate as well. Whereas April, so I'm really into that.

I didn't realize this. I like when I'm laying down my partner will just give me a pussy massage. And he's actually taking my external labus, like the puffy outer part and like meeting it almost like it's my shoulders. It feels so good. Whereas I talk to April about it. She's like, April's like, oh, I hate that. I'm like, go for my clip or get in the hole.

And I'm like, oh, God, please don't just do those things. Yeah. So it's just so different for everyone. Yeah, no. And that's why there's so many different sex sizes. And I always felt bad for guys. I'm like, why don't guys, I mean, you know, use as sex toys too. I just feel like women, there's so many available for us.

us and there's so many different kinds. I mean, did you have like just a closet full of sex toys when you're younger? Like, how do you work at a sex shop and not try everything? It's like working in a restaurant like you just eat all day long. I don't know. Yeah. Well, there's, yeah, we try a lot of things. And right now, even though we sell the sex shop online, but, you know, it's not a brick and mortar where all the toys are there.

But only the, or having the podcast, we get a lot of sex stories probably like you do to, right? To try out. And I just, yeah, I try a lot of things. But for me, I'm also a minimalist. So if I have something that I'm like not that into, I get rid of it right away. I like clean it and give it to a friend or something like that. I like I'm kind of like a little obsessed with organization. I also do have the rule of threes with sex toys.

And I suggest this for other people. Granted, if you try something and you're hard, no, you're like, fuck this thing. I never want to buck it again. Yeah, yeah. Then listen to that. But a lot of times what happens, especially if our brains are really, really, like you were, for your brain, you're really set on the, I forgot what you called the click kisser, right? Yeah, yeah.

So you try something new and your brain automatically is like, this isn't the click kisser. It's not going to be as good. And so what I recommend is, you know, trying it a second or third time to see if your brain can get out of its own way. And maybe this toy is amazing. And maybe it isn't. And so for me, when I would do that, you know, third time is still not my jam. I move on. And it leaves my house.

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after you click on the link in the description for 65% off your yearly pass. Plus, their 14-day risk-free money-back guarantee. And so for me, when I would do that, you know, third time, still not my jam, I move on. And it leaves my house. Yeah. Did you ever try Motor Bunny? They came to me recently. They want to send me one.

I'm like, I don't know which one to get. They're like pick any one of the three. Which one do you like? So you're talking about this is the more like the sex machine thing. Yeah, Motor Bunny. Those original, the Bach and the Jack. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

I, okay. I haven't tried actual Motor Bunny. have tried the Sibians. The Sibian, which is like one of the original sex machines. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a big and, and you can put different attachments on it and you can write it and they have external attachments and internal attachments. And fun story about the Sibian. There used to be, it might come back, but something called Sex Geek Summer Camp, created by Reed Mejago, amazing sex educator. I adore him so much. And he did this for 10, 10 years. Sex Geek Summer Camp in the summer. It's actual a camp.

out like short shorts with the tall socks and you eat in the cafeteria, but you're hanging out with a bunch of sex nerds. And so in the day, times you're just learning all about sex and specifically how to grow and promote yourself as an educator because a lot of people need that. And then at night, it can be more like massage parties or there's a full-on playroom where people are just fucking or just hang up at the bonfire, whatever you want. And one year, so I was there because I also work for Uber Loop. I'm a elite educator. Oh, I'm obsessed with UberLoop. They just became my sponsor and And honestly, I never used it before because I get like overly wet, so I don't really need lobe, but like I used it for my guy. And I was like, holy shit, this is like super high end loop.

It really is like nothing else, right? Like it really is the best. Yeah, it really is. Anyway, yeah. We sold it. We brought it into pure pleasure when we had the brick and mortar because a sex educator came in. She's like, why don't you have this? And this is like a long time ago.

It's like 2009 or 10. Yeah. She's like, it's the best lube ever. And so we brought it in. and it's sold like crazy, and my body's very sensitive to Louvre products. So it's one of the only loops I can use. And that or coconut oil, that's basically it. And I love it.

And the company's amazing. So I actually went up to them in 2013. I was like, I love your product. You should hire me. I should be your representative. And so I've worked with them ever since. And so I'm their lead educator. And so they would send me to Sex League summer camp every year to represent UberLube.

And also I just get to be a part of camp. So I was there and I had a little cabin that I shared with Bunny. Her name is Bunny, not Motor Bunny, but Bunny, who is one of the owners of Sibian. Oh, interesting. So I'm hanging on Bunny. And so what Bunny was doing at Sex Geek Summer Camp was she set up the Sibian there in the playroom. And everyone could choose a time slot where they go and have a private session with her

and the Sibian. And so you'd hear all these sounds like in the middle of the day like, ah! They're like, oh, it must be the Sibian and Bunny. And so Bunny was like, do you want to try the Sibian? I was like, sure, Bunny, why not? And I didn't realize that while I'm using the Sibian, Bunny's, my roommate is going to be next to me, like, almost like a Sibian shaman, like coaching me. Like, you got this. Keep going, honey.

And she's a Southern Bell, too. She's like a horseback riding Southern Bell. And I, like, I was like, it was fun, but I could not get off. I was a bunny, you're like my family, right? I'm like, this is a little too far. So anyways, I know a lot of people love them. My body wasn't able to do it with Bunny. Yeah, because she was sit there watching.

Let me ask you a quick question, though. So like, you're with a partner now, right, with a guy. Like, are you a monogamous person? Have you ever been non-monogamous? Like, how open are you when it comes to sex, like, you know, or, and relationships. Like, how do you roll? Yeah. My partner and I are currently non-monogamous, but we started for the first couple of years,

we were completely monogamous with each other. Then for a year or two, we were monogamish. Thank you, Dan Savage, for the term. Meaning, we would just have shared experiences with other couples or other people or sexy party things. So we weren't doing like solo, so it was always together. And then the last two plus years, we had been doing solo dating. So we will, on the occasion, go on dates with other people, have sex with other people when we are not together. Yes.

And it originally started as when one or both of us was out of town traveling, because I travel a lot. but then it became like but now we've met some cool people where we live and so uh we are not polyamorous we're not trying to have other boyfriends girlfriends yeah now we got too much going on and in our in our lives and yeah so we are we do hierarchical uh non monogony meaning like our relationship at the top priority we are that does not mean everyone else is disregarded and not important it's just like they all we're all completely completely upfront like like this Our relationship is top priority. If you and I have a date plan to see you know, like three hours before, there's a chance,

like not a high chance, but there's a chance I might be like, today is actually not a good day based on either my relationship or just how I'm feeling for myself, like, in my own self. Yeah. Yeah, so we just call it. We say we're non-monogamous, but yeah, we're not polyamorous. We just like having sex with other people or feeling desire or with or for other people. and it's fun and we made a lot of new friends along with it. Yeah.

So when you say solo dates, it's not like your dates, it's like kind of quote unquote. It's kind of like play dates, right? Like you're playing with them. It's not like courting them to be romantic with them to fall into another relationship and have like that, right? Okay, that's a big difference. Yeah. Yeah.

And a lot of people have a hard time imagining that we are, and I just want to say this. I don't think everyone should be non-monogamous. I think a lot of people get really triggered when they hear about it. They're like, as if we're preaching, that I really don't think so. And sometimes I'm like, should we be right now? But it's, and sometimes we're not. Sometimes we take a hiatus from it because we have too much going on. Yeah.

I got to do a lot of personal work. So right now is not a good time to go with sex. And in the beginning, in the beginning you didn't even do it. You wanted to be monogamous and just be with each other. I can understand that. It's day by day. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just, it's yeah, day by day. And it's what, what the way I love the most about it is, or the way I describe it, at least for myself, like my partner, I think would agree for the most part. we like developing relations with people where we become really good friends who we also have sex with sometimes. Yeah. But what we don't like, what we don't do is we don't have really good friends that we bring into non-monogamy, or sorry, not bring in. We don't make them non-monogamy. So we don't, we do it.

There's a direction. A direction is we meet someone. We start playing and now they become a really good friend. And then sometimes I have sex with you versus are really good friends. Yeah, exactly. So we want to keep things as clean as possible. It can never be perfect. No, no, no, but I can see the difference.

You know, I get it. Do you play together with people, or is it always solo? Yeah. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes we do. It just depends. Like, we throw, for our birthdays, his birthday and my birthday, we throw what we call not a sex party, sex parties, where we have a bunch of friends, where we have a bunch of friends. Where we have a bunch of friends that are obviously a little more open-minded, and it has some structure there, but it's not, it's like, you can come and just hang out and dance and just have a good time of friends, or you can come and be sexual. But it's so we we do that.

And so, yeah, we'll have shared experiences. I identify as disappointedly straight. Like you wish you were more interesting. Yeah, it's bullshit. My mom is like super bisexual and dating males and women. Wait, did she always know that about your mom? No, no. It wasn't until we owned the sex shop that she was like, you know, I think I'm going to start dating women.

Oh, late in life. So she did that for about a decade. Love it. And so, yeah, and I just, I have so many queer friends, and I know it's not easy being queer either. I'm not saying it that. It's in that way, I just, I think women are beautiful. They're, they're fun.

And, you know, I just, playing with them could be really fun. I just, I can make out with, like, the hottest woman ever. And it feels like I'm making out with an unattractive man. So there's just something in me that is very cock-driven. Yeah, straight. So I still will play with women in either the same context, or maybe we're not really touching each other or if we are, it's very much above the waist and that can be fun.

But otherwise, you know, like you can bring on all the dicks. That's cool. So you'll have threesomes. Like, you'll do two guys with your guy. Like, then that's what you how you guys are. We've done, my one of my favorite things that we did, although the ending of it wasn't the best because, so I have always thought that the most ideal threesomes are within four sums,

for me at least. Interesting. So you have, so two pussies, two penises there. and then you do these 15-minute rounds where each person gets a different style of threesome. So someone's sitting out each round, right? So first round, say I sit out and now there's two dicks and one pussy. And the next round, one of those dicks sits out and now there's two pussies and one cock and so everyone gets all these variations of it. And then they can decide what they're into.

Like if the two penis owners are like, we don't want to touch each other, then they don't. You can still have a threesome without everyone touching. The only shitty thing about this model is that the last person, generally deals with all the tired people. Oh my God. Is it all negotiated ahead of time so you know where everyone's positions are? Yeah, exactly. And along the way.

When my partner and I did this with this other, we did this with someone, a woman that he was, is someone that he sees and has sex with on the occasion, and a man that I have sex with on the occasion. And they were just meeting for the first time. So we all sat down, got to know each other. And we had a whiteboard,

and everyone threw out their, ideas for like fun things they might want to try and so we would go through these different things and do these little activities and cross them off and yeah it was fun it was like and it almost feels not childish and not immature but there's like this it's not innocent obviously it's sex but there's like this youthful playfulness in it where we're taking certain things seriously like boundaries and safety and we're also allowing ourselves to like be ridiculous and and that's what sex is or can be when you really think about bodies having sex it's quite ridiculous yeah totally you're like sweating and grounding yeah exactly and and also it's hot and it's sexy and it's wonderful

and it's beautiful but so i think there's certain things that we need to take seriously around it to make people feel safe and and respected and there's other parts that we take way too seriously that i think it's in the way of us really having a good time now did you your guy like did was it he in a non-monogamous relationship before you and what about you? Were you not in a non-monogamous? Were you the one that brought that to the table? No. So he was, yeah, he was my, he was married for 20 years and it was certainly far from non-monogamous.

Yeah. And, and with, you know, someone that is definitely not like sexually adventurous and open. And he's a wild, wild animal. And, and I, my, I've had multiple long-term relationships. non-monogamy was only a part of one of them, but it was completely unethical because that person essentially tricked me into non-monogamy. It didn't trick me into non-monogamy, made it seem like we were doing ethical non-monogamy, but he was doing whatever the fuck he wanted. That never makes sense to me, yeah.

Yeah, exactly. So, but that didn't ruin non-monogamy for me. I never, I was never, like, I was always thinking I'd be a non-monogamous person. I just always knew I was a sexually open and adventurous person. My partner is the one that brought up non-monogamy, but more is like a test to just like go and like, let's like go and have this experience for like two months and that's it. And I was one that was like, I kind of like this. Like maybe this can be a part of our lives. So it was a collaboration, but like we contributed different things to make it a part of our life. So but when you met him like you're sitting across from him in at that point, I'm assuming you're already like Amy from Shameless Sex podcast. Pleasure. He was a band boy. Yeah.

Oh, okay. So he knows that he could bring that up to you. And it's interesting, though, that you had never, I mean, you did try it. It wasn't that great, but you were open to it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I've just grown so much throughout all these different relationships and being in the field of sexuality. And I definitely feel like it was, it's only the last, you know, within the last 10 years of really embodying my full, my full meaning like ever growing too. This is not it. All right.

There's more to it. But really dropping into who I am as a sexual being. and understanding more about how to live that. And so it was just timing, right? Like, he's coming out of this 20-year marriage ready for more aliveness in the sexuality world. I've been living a lot of aliveness, but also I'm ready for more of that because I will always be on this path. And he was fully aware of me. I mean, he did his homework.

He was a fan boy who listened to the podcast, The Shamedless Sex. Wow. To try to help his, he was trying to help his marriage because his wife wasn't really wanting to have sex with him. And they had been together for 20 years. They had three kids. Like this is a, I'd say a normal thing that happens. Yet, like, she wasn't wanting to work on it. So he was working on his own by trying to learn, like, maybe she doesn't want

to have sex with me because I'm a bad lover. He's not a bad lover. But he listens to Shaneless sex. He's a fucking amazing lover. So he was listening to my podcast to try to help the marriage. It didn't work. They separated. And then I randomly walked into a yoga studio and he was in there.

And he was like, I never met him before. But he was like, Shane was back. Wait. Wait, so he knew you and like, had he ever wrote in or anything? Like, did you ever get an email from him? Or did you know? He did. He did write in only to, so he wrote in not, not for like a sex question.

Yeah. He actually wrote in trying to guest on shameless sex because he lives in Santa Cruz as well. And he's a criminal defense attorney who was running for judge. And so he wrote in asking if he could guess on our show to talk about the dangers of sexting for young kids or something. like that for the youth. And I looked at it, like, this is a year before I met it. I was like, fuck this guy. Why would we ever have this episode?

And then, yeah, a year later, I'm like, this is my boyfriend. Oh, my. Wait, so did he recognize, he must have recognized. But like, when you walked in, were you like, oh, who's that hot guy over there? Because, I mean, you're just walking. You don't know who the fuck he is, but he knows who you are. Well, so I walked in this yoga studio, and we have a lot of them here. So this is a new room for me to go to.

And there's this guy there covered in sweat, wearing. the shortest of short shorts mopping the floor and he's and he's mopping the floor so I'm like the hot janitor guy right yeah or something and he it's like shameless sex and I was like oh is it my hair because I have really big blonde curly hair I'm like tall with a lot of hair and or is my voice and he actually said is my voice and he's like oh I listen to your podcast and I was I just ended a five and a half year relationship and I was like oh okay hello hot janitor you know but he wasn't a janitor he He teaches yoga for funsies, and he's a criminal defense attorney and nothing wrong with janitors. And then nothing happened, but then a month later, he hit on me through Facebook Messenger, which is also funny because his photo, his little profile photo is just of three children.

Oh. And I was like, he's either a non-monogamous or he's cheating on his wife. And he's like, oh, just so you know, we're separated, this is not creepy. And I was like, oh, yeah, you're the photo of three kids. And I wouldn't hit on people with that. Just, you know. Yeah. But it worked out.

Wow. That is such an interesting story. And how is that guy? Because you're like, you know, he was like a fucking animal ready to let loose. So like, how happy is he? Like, what's the difference for him being in like this non-monogamous relationship compared to like that vanilla relationship that he was in for so long? Yeah.

I mean, he, I think he would also be super happy if we were monogamous. It's really. more about, yeah, it's really more about, like, sexual aliveness for, for both of us, but for him, too, he was really craving that. He was craving even just to, like, try a new sex toy, right? It wasn't really a thing in his past relationship. So just this simple things like that of staying open to learning, more, growing, more, trying new things, and not just being in this. Like, this is what we do. You know, we have sex, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, when the kids are da-da-da-da, at this time, this position. And I'm not saying that's what they did. I don't know all

the things about his past relationship. But he was craving more of that ever-growing newness, which is what most people who really care about, well, sexual vibrance need that. It doesn't mean you have to be non-monogamous. You can have newness in a monogamous relationship, but it's about constant creativity. So I think he's, he really, he has been able to embody who he truly is in this relationship because I give space and permission for that. I don't shame him. He'll share a desire with me that maybe involves me. Like the other day, he sent me this picture. He just decided to scribble this on a notepad. And it's like of a, like stick figures having sex on a tree. And it has little things. And it's basically like his dream threesome in the woods with like two

women. So me and other woman on a tree. And I'm like, that's cool. Looks. Looks. pretty uncomfortable and I'm disappointedly straight but I will stay open to this. Let's talk about it. Oh my God. That's funny. Does he enjoy though? Does he have like that kink where you enjoy seeing you get like banged out by another guy and do you enjoy seeing him with other women and do you not have any jealousy when it comes to that? So we I would say it's it's not we're not like you know, like they're banged up by another guy's like kind of like hot white thing stuff. Yeah. Like we've in there on our shared experiences where he's witness. me, you know, being banged out or, or second another coffee or whatever, whatever's happening.

He'll watch and he moves through. It's like, you know, jealousy and then turn on and jealousy and turn on. He's kind of like navigating all of that. I think I do a pretty similar thing with him. So we don't necessarily get really turned on by watching the other person being pleasureed or pleasuring someone else. But we're not turned off by it. And we both still feel jealousy at times a lot of that really has to do do with how we're feeling within ourselves though like if i'm just like not doing that great in myself then i it's harder to navigate or manage my jealousy and then i'll have the whole like what if they're better than me and dula dula you know and when i'm feeling really good in myself then that's easier to navigate and it's really important to us for

we feel really good together otherwise that can get really messy so yeah so we're not we're less like hot wiping certainly not like a cuckolding environment either for for both of us if that's your jam awesome. And, but it really is just more like, we, we feel joy seeing our partners feeling joy or pleasure. And you also both enjoy being able that freedom to go and have these experiences with other people as well. And then I'm assuming it adds to your relationship with your partner at the end of the day. Oh, yeah. What's really fun is you go and you have some good or great sex with someone else and then you go home and now you just want your partner even more and you have amazing sex, right? And yeah, every, Everyone wins in that scenario.

So, yeah, having these other experiences, like, you know, we live together. We live together for us two years. We spend a lot of time together. We also have, you know, a lot of separation in how we spend our days here and there. But non-monogamy has made it so we don't have sexual reps. Like that doesn't mean we have sex every day. And, you know, like, if we do have sex most days at the week when we're together. But, like, we don't have that, like, oh, my God, let's, we need help.

Something's wrong. What's going on? We also are really good at talking about things when they come, you know, whether it's related to sex or not, when we have hard, hard scenarios or feelings that need repair. So, yeah, but it is a compliment to our lives. We have talked about not doing so, like, let's take a break or stop solo dating and just have shared experiences. But we both are like, yeah, and there's something that's very different going on a solo date with someone and feeling wants and desired when you don't have to think about your partners, you know, energy right there. I think about him because we have boundaries, but, but like, it's a different thing versus when we're all in the same environment and I feel that from someone else. It's just,

they offer different things and I really like both of those experiences. So yeah, it's just, it feels nice. Like, you know, and I'm, I'm 40 and I, like, I don't know if when I'm 50 and 60 I'll be doing non-monogamy and, but what I know is I want to constantly feel desired by other people. It feels really good. And I listen, you're only going to get hornyer. You're only going to get hornier for a while now. Okay.

So your 40s are like, you're just going to ramp up, okay? It's only gets better from here. Yeah. When I turned 40, I was like banging a 25 year old from my gym.

And that's like a very perfectly match sex drive because you get really horny before you go into menopause. Like I think it's like a real nature thing telling you like go out and fucking get babies. You know, it's like your last time. So your libido goes up like super high.

You know, it's so interesting though. Like where do you guys meet your people? Like, or is it just within your world that you live in because you're, you know, you're a sex educator and you meet people or you guys aren't apps? We do. So, uh, we love the app field. F-E-E-L-D is, yeah, field is great.

So we use that often for dating people. We're completely straightforward. We are actually, our profiles are linked to each other too. So, you know, I have a partner. We're very committed to each other. Not looking for, we're not looking for. We're not polyamorous, not looking for boyfriends and girlfriends, where our time is limited. And for me, I'm like, I'm identified as a subby person in the kink world.

He's more of a domy person, so that's on there too. So we use that. And we meet people through our friend circles or, you know, a friend of a friend, like that kind of thing. So, yeah, but I'd say field is probably one of the best avenues for it. And then the second runner-up would be more of the friend world. I've tried other apps, more like the Normie apps, like Hinge. Yeah. And I'm fine, like, you know, most people, I put on non-monogamous on there, most people

don't want that. Like, I remember being on dating apps in my 20s and everyone just wanted to fuck. And now that I'm 40, everyone's looking for a relationship. Like, I am not a good candidate. If you're looking for a relationship, you do not want to go on a date with me or have sex with me. Plus you're already in a relationship. How does it, like, for you as a sex educator and like, you still,

Like, who do you help? Like, do you still see clients and, like, could people hire you? And, like, does it help you having, like, this non-monogamous relationship now as well? At times, I mean, my clientele isn't, is usually. So I actually, in the last number of years, I've been a coach since 2016. Yeah. I used to work with anyone and everyone unless you're outside of my scope of work. Like, you know, I would be honest.

And, like, this is not something that I am the best candidate for. Yeah. But in the last year or two, I now only work with couples. and it doesn't matter what your orientation or gender is. And I'll work with the individuals within the couple, like do one-on-one. But I really, the reason why I only work with couples is I just love it the most. I love working with two people and most of my clients are on Zoom these days. And I can really see the transformation happening in real-time versus working one-on-one.

And if I worked one-on-one with people in the past, I'll always see them again. I just don't take on, take new clients for one-on-one. But yeah, so I still do that. I just don't put that much focus in that. most of my focus is really in the podcast, shameless sex and then Uber-Loo work as well. But yeah, I still do that. And I'll teach on the occasion. I used to teach a lot of sex-like classes.

But having a podcast, I'm teaching every week to thousands of people. Yeah. As opposed to doing, you know, an in-person workshop. So. You could reach more people that way and help them. Yeah. And what do you, like, what do people see you for, mostly, the couples that are coming to you for? They're usually stuck in some way, shape, or form.

They're often been together for a number of years. They often have kids. They're living. They're in their roles, right? Often, like, you know, one is working a lot, one is working less or something. And they're just completely disconnected in the sexuality, in the world of sexuality. And what I know to be true and what they discover is that what we work on, first and foremost, is their disconnection everywhere outside of the bedroom before we even get to the bedroom.

So, yeah, that's a lot of it. I mean, it's all connected and related. So a lot of it is, even though I'm a sex and relationship coach, I'm spending most of the time just on the relationship. And some of it is even like a life coaching thing. And then once we bring in the connection there, then we can go into the sexual connection. And it all, I mean, it's a, it happens.

It works. It's really beautiful to see. It's beautiful to see when people commit to it together. It's not an easy, it's not just like an overnight fix for a lot of people, especially if you spent years disconnected. Of course. You've spent a lot of time reconnecting. Yeah, it's not like the movies.

But like, I mean, you do do a lot, like you talk to so many different experts and stuff on your show. Why don't you give out all the information where people can find your podcast? Because you're just educating people there all the time. Like, that's what all of your episodes are. Why don't you explain, you know, your podcast and who you talk to over there and then give out all your information where people could find you? Yeah. So the podcast is really easy. It's shameless sex.

It's the name of the podcast. It's on all of the podcast apps. wherever you listen to your podcast, easy to find. And the podcast is, well, so it's called shame less sex, but it doesn't mean that we don't have shame or you will never have shame if you listen. What we are really passionate about is using shame as a teacher because shame is just a natural part of life. And even if you work on it, it can pop up later in a new scenario or the old shame can come back. So teaching people how to work with those parts of themselves that feel limiting.

Like I think of shame as armor as something that are. our bodies are very smart, right? They're brilliant. They put out this energetic armor to protect us, which is really good, to a certain degree. But then there's this other part of it where we don't feel as much or we're disconnected or there's these old stories that get in the way. So we bring in, so originally we started the podcast in 2017. We knew we were going to do weekly episodes. We didn't expect it to be as big as it is. It's quite a big podcast, considering that it was supposed to just be a passion project. And we thought it would just be us most of the time. talking, just like April and I talking about sex. And we already knew so many educators from being

in the human sexuality field for a long time. So what it's turned into is it's actually almost always a guest on the show and very rarely just us other than the intro. And so we have guests that come in and talk about everything from fissing to anal sex, to how to give the best hand job, to relationship, like communicating in relationships and repair. And when you have something really hard in a relationship, how to keep things spicy in relationships and how to have sex when you have three kids and you want to maintain a relationship and so have love and fun and dating and all kinds of things. So we get a lot of requests for topics and we often will find a way to bring that to our show.

Yeah, yeah. We recently, we had requests for a phone. Facebooking. We brought someone, an expert on Facebooking on. Yeah, all kinds of stuff. So I, I love this because I also get weekly sex education from other world-renowned educators. It's really, really exactly what I called him when I was 18, right? Yeah, no, I mean, listen, I just started a sexual health Saturday series on my podcast. I never talked to experts before. I always just talked to regular people and they're telling me about their, like, secret lives or whatever. And I'm learning so much. I'm like so, and I added it in because I love.

all that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? I like sexual health and I like talking to people and I love learning and so I love that. That's all you do over there. So it's a great resource for people to go and learn about all things. Yeah. We're over 450 episodes now and we still release every single Tuesday so we've never missed a Tuesday in what over eight years. Can you believe these podcasters with seasons and then they take off and I'm like oh my God. How do you do that? Yeah. No, number one rule. Yeah, why? Yeah, there's no reason now. And we love it, right? It's not something that it doesn't feel like work most of the time. So yeah, we have we have that. You can learn more at shameless sex.com as well. But we also do retreats generally twice the year every fall and spring. The last two have been for couples. But the first two were just for women. We don't really know what our spring retreat will be. But if you go to shameless sex.com and you sign up for our newsletter, which is free, then you get the information. about the retreats when we finally know. We also wrote a book.

It's called Shameless Sex, but it's not just, you know, stories in our podcast. Is shame with sex, choose your own pleasure path to unlock the sex like you've been waiting for? If you've ever read or remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books from back in the day that were fiction, like go, would you like to be a tech by abominable snowman? Go to this page, like that kind of thing. Yeah. We wrote a book similar to that, but it is non-fiction. So say you're having hard time having an orgasm during penetrative sex. And instead of us saying here's how you do it, what you should do, it's more about the outcome

you want. Do you want to learn how to have an orgasm to please your partner? Do you want to learn how to have an orgasm for penetrative sex to please yourself? Do you want to learn other ways to have orgasms? Go to this page, go to that page, et cetera. And so, yeah, we wrote that as our pandemic baby. So if you sign it for a newsletter, you also get the first chapter of that for free. Oh, I love that.

There's also the audiobook of shameless sex. Yeah, there's the printed hardcover of Shandau Sex. And we're very proud of it. It's definitely different from what we offer on the podcast. So go check that out. And then what are some other hats that we're wearing? Let's see. Your company, where they can get sex toys online.

I'll put all your links in the description. You just send me whatever you want me to post. And so people driving don't have to remember all this. Yeah, the sexual app with my mom is pure pleasure shop.com. Anyone listening to this, you get 15% off and use coupon. code shameless sex. It is a curated online sex shop. So it only has high quality toys. There are still toxic sex toys on the market. That is still a thing. It's not regulated by the FDA. We don't carry those. And it's a lot of toys that we have all tried, including my mom. I love your mom.

Yeah, my mom is awesome. Yeah, she does her homework as well. And then I already talked about Uber Lou. I work with them. It's not my company, but it's the best. Go check out Uber Lou. It's just the best Lou. I love that. So listen, I'll put the links in the description. You know, thank you so much for calling in. Like I said, I've seen your guys a podcast forever. I never talk to our show. I am. When my book comes out, the date got pushed. You guys are going to interview me on your podcast. Well, I'll see you there soon. But thank you so much for coming on my show and giving me your backstory. I love your story about your guy, by the way. That's so like that. He must like every now and then, he must think to himself like how crazy it is that he like is dating the girl he used to listen on the podcast. Do you know I mean? He does. Right? He must think that all the time. He did not, he did not expect this.

Yeah, he did not, this is not, he was not looking for this and he was very glad that he found it. And yeah, we were both like, oh, we'll just have casual sex with each other. Nope. Months later, we're like, damn it, I love you. No, but I mean, it's kind of crazy. Like, he was fanning out and he's like wound up with you. It's kind of like an interesting story.

But I love what you do. I love what you stand for. I'll put all the links in the description and I'll talk to you soon when I come on your show. But thanks so much for calling in, Amy. Thank you. Thanks. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly

Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category. I talk about on my show, like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't

really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me.

Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.

It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Okay. I just want to tell you before. you go that I do have a book coming out. The book is called Shirklandonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. The book is basically seven different stories taken from my show.

I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuckold story. There's a gangbang girl story. There's like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person. I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show. You're going to learn a lot. You're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to hear these stories, like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an ebook available if you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book.

Get the ebook. It's available. There will be an audio book available very soon after it comes out. I did not narrate it. I was going to, but I passed on it because I sucked at the job. Okay, I couldn't do it at all. But I got a hot check to narrate the book. So you're going to dig the audiobooks. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. That is my gift to you for getting my book. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'll get the Discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks. Okay. It's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there and everybody shares content with each other. That's what's great about Discord. You get to post your on videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there it's a super fun

place to be i will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my discord it is private this the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link and that's why i think my discord is so great because i have vetted people it's not like it's just open to the public so everybody that's in there are people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great so my discord is fucking great my book is great you're going to love it if you buy it all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it, and I will give you free access to my Discord. Send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com.

You could find my book in the link in the description, okay, or just Google at Strictly Anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. You can find it anywhere. You buy books. Send me the picture, and I'll give you access to my Discord email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at Gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.