Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1286 - Natalie’s Husband Cheated, Then They Started Swinging and Now They’re Poly

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Natalie's Husband Cheated and then they started swinging and now they’re poly and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when her husband had an affair and how she found out, how and why she stayed with him and how that led to them going to their first swingers club, their first swinger club experience and what went down, their first couple swap and what went down and how she felt about it, how and why she wasn’t jealous seeing her husband with another woman, how husband cheated a second time and how that led to him dating someone else, who his first gf was and how she felt about her at the time, how and why she started dating herself and what her first relationship was like, the other relationships she has had and how its all set up now that they’re fully poly, her aha moment that made her fully accept being poly and what she now enjoys most about it plus a whole lot more. You can get her book, Saying Yes, My Adventures in Polyamory here: https://nataliedavisadventures.com To see HOT pics CATE plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord!  MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠  To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.  Sponsors:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://motorbunny.com/strictly⁠ — Black Friday Sale PLUS $50 off! ⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 30% OFF your entire order⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! ⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get your first month of the new Bluechew Max FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use code ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus a 14-day money-back guarantee⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use code STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have an interesting, naughty true life story that you want to tell, that you want to talk about on my show, send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at jemil.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on be on the show. If you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my confessions hotline, you could call the confessions hotline. [phone]. I'm whizzing through this, but all of the information is in the description. Anyway, you could call that number 24-7. Just make sure you're not driving. even though nobody listens to that. Be in a quiet place when you leave your message. Some of those confessions, make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go on my Patreon. My Patreon has a super fun place. I have 2,500 people over there. It's a very active community.

And that's where I respond to people, talk to people. And what's great about my Patreon is you get access to all of the picks, the hot picks of all of my guests. You want to put a body to any episode of any girl. I would probably say maybe three of them in all of my years of podcasting. haven't sent in pics. All those picks are over on my Patreon. You get Q&As that I do every other month. You get all the episodes early ad free and beginning free. Like I don't add this to my Patreon episode. So if you're annoyed by this, like people are, just go to my Patreon. It's only $7 a month. I give you 36 episodes a week. Do the math. Math. It's not even a dollar an episode that you would be paying for. I think it's totally worth it. It's super fun. And I also throw in complimentary access to my private Discord. My discord is the best. Okay, not one person has ever complained. People are, like, blown away by it when they join.

I have thousands of people on there. And I throw that access in complimentary to anyone who joins my Patreon as well as anyone who buys my book. Now, my book was supposed to come out on October 14th, but the date was pushed. I got my big box of books in recently, and I was horrified. They were printed all wrong. There was a lot of mistakes made. It was a total F up mistake.

You know, mistakes happen, shit happen. Thank God my publisher is like, okay, we're going to. reprint all of these and we change the date. It is now coming out in October, December, December 2nd. I'm happy because I didn't want you to get the bad printed books. I saw them. They were horrifying to me. So you still have time to pre-order my book. It's also going to be available in an e-book format. It's on Amazon right now. There'll also be an audiobook available when it's closer to the date that it comes out. If you purchase any of those options as well as sign up for my Patreon, you will get access to my private discord. It is private. You can't get into it any other way. I

give complimentary access to people who do these kinds of things or listeners of my show because that's the way I vet everybody in there and create a great community. My Discord is fun of cool fucking people like you who listen to my show. So if you want to get access to my Discord, do any of the things I just said. All the links are in the description. If you want to sign up for the best adult website, it is SDC. I love SDC. I'm not on there, but like everyone of my guests who talk about meeting people and hooking up and learning about the lifestyle, they started at SDC. It is the world's largest adult website.

What's great about SDC, it's just a place where you can meet people. It's a place where you could also learn about all the shit in your area. Or if you want to play on vacation, you can learn about what's going on over there. I have a free trial that I could offer my listeners. All you got to do is use code 37712 on SDC.com or just go to the description and click on the link.

Okay, today I have on Natalie, Natalie Davis. Oh my God, her story is so good. She is Polly with her guy, but she wasn't always Polly. She was in a very vanilla relationship with a guy she met very early on in her life. And eventually at some point she did catch him cheating. She talks about that situation. And then shortly after that, he suggested going to a swingers club. And you have to hear exactly how all of these things took place. And how she dealt with them and what went down. I'm giving you the very short story. She also wrote a book so you could get the very long story by buying it. You're going to get some of the story here. Like I said, I'm not revealing everything by telling you her husband cheat on her. Then he wanted to go to Swingers Club. So they started swinging and they were doing that. And then you're not going to believe what happened after that that led to them becoming Polly. You got to listen to it all. It's so super interesting. It's messy. It's got ups. It's got downs. It wasn't easy. Okay. And she's going to explain that ever since then they've both had other partners.

I mean, they are currently, like, living. She has this term metamore. I never heard of it, but I currently live with her metamore, which is her husband's girlfriend, is, lives with them, and she loves her and thinks she's great. Plus, she's got a guy she's been with for nine years, and they're very poli, and they're doing it great, and this whole story has a happy ending,

but there's a lot of bumps in the road, and she talks about all of it. It's so super interesting. You're going to have to listen to it to get to all the details. And then you're going to have to go buy her book. She does have a book about this whole story, and her story has all the ingredients to make it for a, fascinating story. It's called saying, yes, my adventures in Polly Amory. Now, there's a lot more to it. It's not

just about her being Polly. It's like how she got there, which I think is super interesting. So anyway, the link to all of her stuff will be in the description, but I'm going to get right to and be right back on with Natalie. Hi, Natalie Davis. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm doing great. How are you doing, Kathy? Good. Listen, you had emailed me. You have a book. It's out already, right? It's called saying yes, my. adventure in polyamory, right? Is that good? Yes, my adventures in polyamory. It is out January 13th. Oh, it's calming out. You're doing the pre-order thing. I had to do the pre-order thing. Well, I wasn't sure when, you know, this was going to air. But it looks like we've got books coming out about the same time. That's exciting. Well, yeah, mine's coming out shortly, but like my publisher made me start pre-ordering like seven months before. So pre-orders are important, especially on Amazon and stuff, supposedly, because I was like, why am I trying to sell a book seven months ahead of time?

Like they were like on me, you know. So, but when you emailed me, I'm like, oh, this is so perfect for my show. You know, everybody that listens to my show does know that Polly Amory gives me a headache, okay, because when it's done wrong. And so many people do do it wrong. But when it's done correctly, and I'm assuming you've done it correctly. And that's what we're going to talk. It's like, it's like, it's amazing to hear the stories because I think so many people need to be educated on how to do it right. And so many people do it wrong. I had Molly, I had Molly on. Molly went, Rod in Winter. She actually she wrote a blur for my book. You know, she did that book, which I think is great for your book, which was called Moore, and she was into polyamory. And it became a New York Times bestseller book, which is great, right? Because it's great to have these kinds of lifestyles out there in mainstream, right? People talking about it, people reading about it. So that's also good for your book, that a book about polyamory got on the New York Times bestseller list, don't you think? Yeah, I mean, that's, I had mine in the works for a while when I saw hers. I was like, okay,

I need to light a fire under my ass and get mine out there. Yeah, because it's the perfect timing. Yeah, she helped you. Like that kind of stuff helps everybody, you know. And I think that it's great, you know. But listen, I could talk to a thousand people who have done the same kind of lifestyle relationship thing, you know, and every story is completely unique. So I want your whole story.

Why don't you give me a snapshot of where you're at now, Natalie? And by the way, I will, you know, put a link to your book in the description so people could buy it and all that kind of good stuff, but let's get your, like, a little bit of your backstory. Sure. I mean, I, this is not just about selling my book because really, Pollyamory is a passion of mine. Oh, I love that. And the story is kind of when you say that Pollyamory can be a shit show, sure.

It doesn't always start out in the best way. And this is just my story of how it went for me. I had been married for probably 10 years. We had a small child and my husband said, hey, I know what I want for my birthday. And I'm like, okay, cool. He said, sit down. I'm going to pull up this website. I want you to read it.

And then we can talk afterwards. So I'm like, huh, I never know what to get in for his birthday. So cool. I'm going to look at this website. So I start reading it. And it's got a bar and you don't find out the location until you sign up and there's billiard rooms and there's private rooms and I had no idea what this was until I kept reading and it was a website for a swinger site.

Have you guys ever talked about anything like even remotely along the lines of swinging? We had like just sort of played a tiny bit with some neighbors kind of like we used to go to their hot tub and just talk about the PTA and community shit, whatever. You know, nothing, I think like we kissed one time. And then, yeah, and then we were like going to start a family, so we put all that on hold. And then my husband had an affair, and we had to work through that. This was before the Swinger Club thing. This is before the birthday.

Yes. Okay, okay. So how did you find out? How did I find out? Oh, you know, through an email left open on the computer, you know, that typical careless, upsetting kind of way because not only is this happening, but you're not even trying very hard. Oh my God. I have a whole audiogram with Instagram like, you know, you're like a double dick.

Like one is like it's bad enough that you're cheating on me, but the fact that you're not even trying to hide it, it makes it 10 times worse. You know what I mean? I make sure I never fucking find out. That's just a dumb guy right there. He wasn't, you know what I'm saying? But did you have any clue? Like were you, was anything like a miss?

or were you totally floored? I was pretty floored. We were sharing a computer at that time because this was back many years ago and I actually was looking for a job so I was on our share computer and it was like open and at first I didn't understand what it meant

but then I was like oh my God. So yeah, that was a whole set of thing. Were there any signs in your marriage that something was a mess or no? I don't know. I mean, we had had a child within the last few months of that. So that's a rough period, I think, for a lot of relationships. Oh, for sure.

So I think there are a lot of things going on with him personally, and we had known each other since college. So we hadn't been with anybody in many years. And I understand, you know, wanting to feel desired by some new person. He was promoting a class. club night and so I was home with the baby and he was out Saturday nights with all kinds of different people. You know, he was always encouraging me to come out. It was not like he didn't want me to come, but when I wasn't there, you know, there was all these lovely young ladies and he was the one that was running the night. So there's a dynamic there that I get when we, you know, I confronted him

and we talked it out. And of course, he was wracked with guilt and felt terrible and all the things That makes sense. Of course, I was very hurt and humiliated by the whole thing. So when I opened that website and I saw this club, you know, I rolled my eyes and I'm like, what the fuck is this, you know? How long after that cheating experience was that birthday past? That was probably about seven or eight months. Oh, so how did you work through that, that whole cheating thing?

Like, I mean, you obviously decided not to leave him, right? Was it because you understood? I mean, he had a good excuse, like, you know what I mean? Like, did he just explain? Is it because you just had a new baby? I would totally understand. I don't. I mean, not people for staying after someone cheated at all. No, I really don't. That was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with because it's not anything I expected. You know, growing up, I'm Gen X, you know, I grew up and someone, there's cheating. You just get a divorce. There's just no other way. And people in my family, that's not a thing like there's not a lot of divorce. There's not, you know, this is not a thing I ever anticipated. And so I had these arguments in my head for months about what to do. And yeah, I had a kid. I had a life. We loved each other. I understood what was going on.

He was very honest with me about the feeling of validation and feeling wanted. And I, you know, kind of just made the decision that I loved him and I wanted to stay with him. And, you know, he was always honest about everything except this. So it wasn't like, you know, he's lied about gambling or drinking or he was bad with money or anything like that. So it was isolated and I understood the issues in our relationship and the intimacy issues because of me like working hard at my career, him having his own business, us having a new baby and all the things that happen with couples who have been together for a long time. So I sort of had to learn as I went because I didn't really know people who had gone through this. I think I was of my friend group that I grew up with. I was the one that had kids first.

So, you know, I was kind of dealing with it's a little bit by myself. And I was completely humiliated. So it's not something I wanted to broadcast to everybody. Or even talk to your family about because they were like, no one's divorced. There's a big stigma, right? A lot of your friends are going to be like, oh, my God, you have to leave him. And they're never going to like your husband again. So if they know, forget about it.

You know, it's a real bad position. Yeah. Kathy, I mean, my family doesn't know about the infidelity. When they read this book, that's when they're going to find out. But I'm like, yeah. That should be your next book because I love your story. I love the things that you're saying. Like, you know, my husband cheated and I stayed. Like that could be your fucking title. Like, you know, because I don't, like I said, I don't knock people that do it. I love those kinds of stories because I don't think, I mean, every cheating story is different. That's why I have them on my show because you can't say, like every cheater is the same and you can't

compare your husband to a total philanderer player type of guy who's like, you know, bang and everybody, you used to think that way. I used to be, I used to be one of those women that's like, oh my God, how can Hillary Clinton stay with him? Like, how she is a smart, independent one. And, and it's like, but everybody's situation is different. And I'm not telling anybody to do it the way I did it. Of course not. Every, you have to make your own decisions. And I have a whole part in the book where I just like battle with this feminist voice in my head who says, What is wrong with you? You know, you should leave him.

This is not how you should behave. You can do better without him. And I'm having this like battle in my head as I'm walking to the train. Oh, I love it. So it is a big part of your book, this whole thing. I mean, I have to deal with it up front. Okay. Anyone that listens to my show knows I love a good sex toy.

Well, let me tell you about my favorite sex toy. That isn't really a sex toy. It's a sex machine, okay? I don't want to make you jealous, but I recently. recently got sent a motor bunny, okay? And let me tell you, I have never been obsessed with a machine more in my life. Okay. I have not even yet turned the motor bunny vibration setting up all the way because like I would come like way too fast. You could literally get off on the motor buddy machine just with the vibration alone in 30 seconds. And the great thing about motor bunny is every single machine that they have has so many different attachments and accessories that you could.

to it. I was sent the starter pack along with a double penetration attachment, which was the first thing I used. And let me tell you, that was the one that I was like, I never want to get off this thing. Because like it rotates inside of you and you could change that setting and it vibrate. It's like out of effing control. Now listen, Motor Bunny sells three different sex machines. Okay. They have the straight up Motor Bunny original that I have. They also have the Motor Bunny buck, which not only vibrates but thrusts, okay, and they also have a fuck machine, which is a handheld thruster, okay? And let me tell you the good news. Right now, Motor Bunny's Black Friday sale is live with the best prices of the whole year available. Plus, you're going to get $50 off your purchase. All you got to do is go to motorbunny.com slash strictly,

and you're going to get $50 taken off your purchase. That's motorbunny.com slash strictly. you'll get $50 off or just go to the description and click on the link and $50 will be automatically applied at checkout. What is wrong with you? You know, you should leave him. This is not how you should behave. You can do better without him. And I'm having this like battle in my head as I'm walking to the train.

Oh, I love it. So it is a big part of your book, this whole thing. I mean, I have to deal with it up front. And you know, when I originally wrote the book, I didn't even put it in there because I was so embarrassed by it. And I thought, I have to put that in there. I have to be honest. This is what happened. And also, I don't think I'm the only one. And think about all the women that are faced with these issues in their marriage, but they don't even know that opening their relationship is an option. So that's one of the reasons why this is important to me, because I grew up not knowing that

there were any other options. And now that I have gone through swinging, gone on to polyamory to have my own independent relationships and my husband has his and we're very kitchen table, Polly, which means we know each other's partners, we're open and honest about everything. I think how limited personally my life would have been

if on my deathbed someone said, oh, you could have had all of this, but you chose not to. And just the people I've met, you know, that aren't necessarily Polly, but just my world has opened up. And I've just become more open-minded about everything. and all kinds of relationships and gender identities and everything because you just start thinking in a broader

way. You know, like, how does this hurt anyone if there are consenting adults that are open and honest? And it's just more love, not less. So, but I didn't used to think like that. I mean, if you had told the 20-year-old me about this, I would have said, no fucking way. And I don't want to have anything to do with it or even 30-year-old me. Like, it took a while. Yeah, I love it.

I'm obsessed with this whole story. And I love that you really dove in deep to the whole cheating thing and why you stayed and how you stayed and how you battled through it and stuff. Because I do think it's important because there's probably a lot of women out there that are still hiding the fact that they stayed with their husband because of it, you know, and had similar circumstances. And then you have this whole other thing that happens after where you actually open up your relationship, which is like an added layer to the super interesting story to begin with. So let's go back to where you were just at. He comes to you for his birthday, just eight months after each. cheated on you was like, hey, he wanted to go to a swing or party, which, you know, why not? Well, this is, this is what I thought. I thought, okay, this is something he's asking me to do with him. Yes. This is above board. This is honest. I don't really know what to expect because I'm not in this

lifestyle. I don't know anything about it except maybe what I might have seen in a like 1970s movie where they throw keys into a bowl. Like, I have no idea. Yeah. But he apparently has done some research on this. And so we find a family member to watch our child. We don't say where we're going. We drive out to this swinger club. Oh, not just he says, okay, well, there's another one. This is a Friday night one. There's another one on Saturday night that's like within an hour of this one.

So I'm like, oh, great. Okay. So we go to the Friday night one. And there's like a whole experience of a swingers club. have, you know, been to one of those. It's, I did not know what to expect. You know, we go in there, and there's this much older lady who's just like, like your grandmother or something, who's giving us the tour of this place that she and her

husband own. And she's like, okay, honey, time for the nickel tour. And this is the room, you know, clothing is optional. The window open means people can look in. Window closed means no. You know, always remember. No means no. and just like very maternal towards me and comforting.

And it was like we were going to a Tupperware party, but naked with strangers. So the first night we went there, we just talked to people and we had sex with each other. But I compromised and the window to the door was open. So that was kind of a little bit of something new. And then the next night we went to a different club. and we actually met another couple who was very new to this,

and we ended up going to one of the little private rooms with them. And then afterwards, you know, we talked about like our kids and our houses and just like regular stuff. So it was much less weird than I thought. You know, here I am in a room with people that I've just met a couple hours ago. Yeah. And we're all on this bed. And there's my husband and this woman. And here's me and her husband.

And I did not really feel weird about it, which was kind of like, I didn't know how it would feel. Yeah, of course. It just felt like, okay, we did this thing. And I don't really feel weird about it. And here was my husband right here, kind of keeping a semi eye on me, making sure, you know, nothing crazy happened. And I felt comfortable. And I could sort of, I'm not staring at them. But, you know, you can kind of sense and hear what's going on.

and everybody seems happy. And then afterwards, in the car, driving back to our hotel, he's like, okay, after Action Report, what did you think? Did you like it? Would you do it again? Blah, blah, blah. And so we have a little back and forth about how we think about it. And I pretty much say to him what I said to you.

It was like, yeah, that was good. Like, the sex wasn't amazing, but I just met the guy. And, you know, and I was like, yeah. That was the first time you had sex with someone else and how long? Oh my God. Yeah. How long was that? I mean, over 10 years. Wow. You know. Yeah. I mean, the first time I'd even, except for that one neighbor, like, really even kissed anybody. So, but I, I realized it wasn't that much of a shock because I'm not an overly romantic person I've got to admit. Like, I'm not somebody who reads romance novels. I'm not even. I get it. So I can separate. The, you know, being in love with someone and being attracted to them and enjoying an intimate experience with them. Yeah, of course. And I can also have both together. So I think that made it easier for me, the transition. And as I continued on my journey, you know, it took me a while

to find more fulsome relationships where I actually have people I describe as partners, people that I share intimacies and just regular day-to-day stuff with. But at the beginning, it was not as relationship-y oriented. There's a big difference between being a swinger and being polyamorous. I mean, it's two separate things. But you evolved into that, and I've heard that before. And we were not full-time because, again, we had a small child. I mean, I was a child lawyer.

I was very busy. He had his own business and then was also. had like a pretty intense job so he pretty much managed the swinging sites and saying how does this couple look and I you know we did a little bit on and off but it wasn't wasn't a full-time job I would not really characterize ourselves as intense swingers at all it was just something kind of we did a little bit on the side although I think he would have you know it would have been nice for him if we did that more but we had you know a full life and that's also kind of the point of my story is I'm kind of just like a mainstream regular person with a kid and a job and a mortgage and a husband.

Yeah, but what do you think all these other people are? That's the whole point of my book. Well, that's what I mean. And yeah, and my whole show is to show you that like people say, I was like, like I make jokes. Like, I think people think there's some sort of pervert island where all these people exist and this is what they're doing 24-7. No, like the people that do these things all have a, all those other pieces of their pie and a whole life and stuff. and this is just what they do sometimes on a Saturday night or whenever they fucking want to. You know what I mean? It's just regular people. Yep.

Yep. And that's, yeah, that's why I'm saying, look, if you ever thought about doing something a little bit outside the box, you can still be a regular person. And it doesn't mean you're a freak or you're irresponsible. You don't pay your taxes. So that's kind of what I'm trying to say to people with this book. Like, hey, this is out here. If you just want to take a look at it, what someone else has been doing, maybe you're interested. in it. Maybe you want to read more. Maybe you want to talk to somebody. Or maybe you're like,

nah, maybe that's good for other people, but not for me. No, no, no. Everyone here, everyone's listening to your show right now is interested in this because they found my podcast. Okay, so let's talk to them. Let's keep going with your story because I love it. So you, now, do you guys start, like, full swapping with people? Like, do you wind up seeing your guy with another woman and how do you feel about that and all that kind of stuff? Tell me. So from the beginning, I was kind of, full swap was fine. I didn't, I didn't see, have this emotional distinction. between whether a penis was inside of me or not, you know, but I get that people have their boundaries. What about seeing your guy with the woman? A lot of times women are like, oh, I'll fuck a guy for my husband,

but I don't feel, I don't know that I would be jealous. Like they worry that they'd be jealous seeing him with another woman, especially a woman coming from like, you know, eight months ago her husband had cheated on her, you know? You don't know if it would be triggering. I'm trying to remember back to that, but I think also because because we have a very secure sex life. Yeah. Like I'm not worried so much that he's going to be doing all these great, sexy things with somebody else that we don't have that.

Because I think something that Kitty Chambliss said in her jealousy survival guidebook that I'm sure a lot of other people have said, but I remembered that jealousy is fear of loss. Yeah. Envy is wanting something that someone else has, but jealousy is fear of loss. So what am I afraid of? So I'm jealous if I'm afraid I'm going to lose my relationship with my husband, my connection,

that I'm going to lose our sexual intimacy. I'm going to lose time with him. So if I'm not afraid of losing those things, you know, if I ratchet it back to what am I afraid of, then I can say, it's okay. I'm not afraid. Okay, maybe I'm envious because he took her to this music concert and I like that band too. so I'm envious of that experience, but I'm not afraid of losing him. I mean, I was closer to the, I mean, after the infidelity, I was afraid because the fact that

there was a disconnect. Yeah, there was something going on that you weren't a part of. Now you're doing this together. Like, your guys are in this together. I mean, eventually you're not because you're doing Polly and, right? But, I mean, you obviously at that point were very secure. But of course. But I also live with my metamore.

So I am currently in a resident. What's a metamore? So the metamore is your partner's partner. So my husband's girlfriend is my metamore or my boyfriend's wife is my metamore. My partner's other partner. So we have for the past almost four years been living together. My husband, his girlfriend and me. And it's called a resident V because we are not a triad because I don't have sex with my metamore. And my husband is the hinge of the V and my metamore and I are the two arms. So we live together. So he is having sex down the hall in her room sometimes and sex in our bedroom with me sometimes. And that happens in our house. And because of the way that I get along with my metamore and the way that the three of us get along,

we fit together that way. And that is a hard fit to find. I had a metamore that lived with us over COVID because in COVID you did crazy things and you bubbled up with people. And that was okay, but that was not something that was sustainable long term because she and I just didn't mesh the same way, which is okay. You know, people just sometimes fit together better than others. Hey guys and girls want to boost your sex drive and your overall experience in the bedroom with your partner naturally. Well, then you need to start taking some drive. boost by VB Health. Drive boost isn't some sketchy supplement, okay? It is doctor formulated with four science-backed ingredients for sex drive that is not only safe but effective. And it's not just

for men. Like I said, it's for women too. So you and your partner could benefit. For women, drive boost contains several ingredients that have been shown to mitigate some symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. And for men, it's going to boost your sex drive and overall experience in the bedroom. And the other great thing about drive boost is it doesn't take a long time to work. Okay. Some people see results in just one or two days with most people reporting results in just one to two weeks of daily use. So if you want to enhance your libido and your sexual desire, then go get yourself and your partner some drive boost from VB Health. All you got to do is visit VBhealth.com and use code strictly and you're going to get 10%

off your order. That's vbhealth.com. Use my code strictly and you're going to get 10% off or just go to the description, click on the link and use my code strictly for 10% off. Okay, guys, let's talk about anal action. Anyone who listens to my show knows I'm personally a three input girl and I'm totally into anal action and I want every guy out there, all guys out there, to be open to some anal action too. And that's why I personally love the butter wellness perineum massager. The butter wellness perineum massager is the perfect way to start exploring that part of your body. And that's because their massager is only designed to be used externally. You use it on the outside right on your taint to stimulate your prostate.

So you could have a prostate orgasm. Now listen, I'm not a guy, so I never had a prostate orgasm. But I've talked to so many guys who have had them. and they all say across the board, it is like the best all over body orgasm they have ever had. I aired an episode with a guy named Paul once, and he used the butter wellness perineum massager, and he talked about how much he loved it, okay?

So what are you waiting for? Go try the butter wellness perineum massager. And this is the time to get it, because right now they are offering their biggest sale of the year because it's Black Friday, and you're going to get 30% off your entire order. All you got to do is use my code strictly at butterwellness.com. That's B-U-T-T-E-R-W-E-L-N-E-S-S dot com.

Use code strictly to get 30% off the perineum massager or get the butter starter kit, which includes a massager and a water-based lobe. That's butterwellness.com. Use code strictly or just go to the description and click on the link and you're going to get 30% off your whole. order. In COVID, you did crazy things and you bubbled up with people. And that was okay, but that was not something that was sustainable long term because she and I just didn't mesh the same way, which is okay. You know, people just sometimes fit together better than others. So again, this is not anything I ever thought in my life that I would be living with my husband's girlfriend. I mean, I was at a family event and one of my cousins said, oh, I hear that you've got a new house, that you've got this new big house. And I said, oh, yeah, well, but we have someone else that shares space with us. And he said,

oh, who is that? And I said, oh, my husband's girlfriend lives with us. No, he didn't know I was, I was telling. Were you pretending to be joking or were you outing yourself? No, I mean, because this was within the last year where I've just decided to be open about everything. And he said, oh, I'm so sorry. And I said, no, she's wonderful. And so that's kind of how, how you normalize it, right? You just bring it up in conversation like it's no big deal. And so that's what I do. Okay, but we need to go back. We didn't even get to your Polly thing. I want to know how you transition because that's a whole different world, right?

So, I mean, you're just swinging now. You got, you know, you realize you're not jealous. You guys are full swapping. You're doing everything, I'm assuming, like with couples and the Swingers Club. I know you're not doing it hardcore. But like, when did the conversation start changing to be like you guys are going to play, I don't know if you started to play solo first and then you started to fall for people? Like, how did you go from that to being Polly?

Oh, that's a good question. So my husband brought up, he said, hey, I would like to date somebody. And we hadn't been swinging that much. And he had actually had a second affair while we were swinging. And we had to get over that too. What you mean? Wait a second. Now this guy that wanted a free pass and came to you and was very honest and shared everything and had already been caught cheating. Now he could feel. fuck whoever he wants with you. He knows that you're okay with it. He winds up going and fucking someone behind your back? This was probably like seven years later. And we were building a new house. It was very stressful. We were living off-site. And then again, I found out about it the same way. An open email. I know. It's like I felt like an idiot. So again, I had to go through the whole thing about whether to leave a partner. Oh my God. I didn't see this one coming. Yeah. And he, He actually...

What was his reasoning that time? Like, what did he say that time? Second time around. You know, after he did it, felt so bad. Saw how upset he made you. And now you're totally cool. Like, you're a woman who's allowing him to have sex with other people. You're going to swing or parties.

But we were doing it. But that was, you have to find time for the both of you to go on these, like, swinger dates. And it's just, it's really time-consuming. And we, you know, we weren't having sex a whole lot. I think he was feeling disconnected, and I get that. And I think, you know, feeling wanted is a human emotion. And I mean, I did not agree with the way he went about this,

and there were a lot of issues with that. I know, I feel like I sound like just the fucking, like, abused wife here, but that's really not how I felt. No, just explain your story from your personal. perspective. Listen, you were in charge, like, no one could tell anybody else how to live their life. Like, I don't believe in that. You know what I mean? I love that you went through this again and were able to work through it. I think it's interesting. Yeah. Like it could sound like that to other people, but you're saying it didn't feel like that to you, correct? Because seven years

had gone by and you felt like you understood that he was in maybe the same position he was seven years prior? Yeah, we were. And that's just what he does? I, you know, you blame yourself, right? You go, well, I'm not, we're not having sex as much. And he is communicative. He's saying, I'd like to be with you and let's make time for ourselves and let the laundry wait until tomorrow and, you know, all the things that get in the way of intimacy and women always saying, God, I just put in a full day at work and then I've got to do all the stuff when I get home and I have the child and now he wants to have sex and it's like 11 o'clock and I'm exhausted and I want to go to bed and it's not like I'm not attracted to you like once we start into it it's all great but

but you're not initiated yeah totally it's very common yeah and so I felt bad because I loved him and I desired him but he wasn't feeling that and I understood it because I was not you know available in that kind of intimacy because you have to be in things that I learned a lot the way, you've got to be intentional, intentional about intimacy and about sex. And people say it has to be spontaneous. It's not going to be after your Groundhog Day marriage. You know what I mean? Come on. That's just ignoring that, you know, we have lives and responsibilities. I mean, even now, I check in with him. I'm like, hey, I have a podcast at, you know, four o'clock. How about about five o'clock? We have some you and me time. Like, we do that. And that's still sexy because I'm looking forward

to that after this podcast. And, you know, so we're going to, and I don't think that that makes it less sexy or less spontaneous. It shows that we both want to do this and we're willing to put the headspace into having time for ourselves. And so maybe that was just like another check in in your relationship to be like, oh, you know, something's, you got to something's not right here. Change course, you know, more, you need more intimacy here. You got to, you got to, you know, give a little bit to, your intimate life more so than you were. Yeah. And so I did recognize that I had not been available.

And of course, I beat myself up like crazy about it, like, you know, women of my generation do because we're supposed to be able to do everything and have everything because the feminists that sacrificed for us have set us up for success. But, you know, you have a uterus and you're just not equal. I mean, that's just the reality of life. So you have to kind of make peace with that. and make your decisions and this is the decision that I made. And I do not regret it.

But at the time, did I tell anyone? No. I mean, I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. I felt like I failed as a wife. I'm doing something wrong because what do people say? Well, clearly, you must have done something wrong if your husband strayed. He never made me feel like he didn't love me or didn't want me.

He always did love me and want me, but was not getting his needs met. And I get that. I mean, you know, I don't like being lied to and I didn't like the dishonesty, but I had to just, you know, work with where we were and move forward or else completely abandoned something that I thought had a lot of love and value. And I also, we also had a child together. And I am, you know, I'm not a child of divorce and it scares me and I've seen what happens. And listen, I have a child. No parent wants to do anything to make their child upset about anything, let alone divorce their father and create this horrible.

You know what I mean? Like I get that mom guilt. They used to have time to do private calls. People would charge pay to talk to me on the DL on the side that I didn't air. And typically 100% of the time, those calls were guys who were like your husband. And I know these guys, I can't tell you how many times I've heard from men. And like I said, I know they're telling the truth because they're talking, they have nothing to lose with me.

I'm an anonymous person. They're calling me anonymous. They're talking on the DL. I'm not taping it. And it's like I really love my wife. Like I don't want to leave her. I love her. Everything's great.

I love my family. I'm never, but she won't have sex with me or sex life is not fulfilling. And I'm feeling like I'm cheating or I am cheating. You know what I mean? It's a very common thing. And it doesn't mean they don't love you. Though a lot of people will tell you that.

Like he must not love you if he does that, you know. But like I said, I've heard it a million times from these guys that used to call in and would say the same thing. And like I said, they had no reason to lie to me. If they hated their fucking wives, they would have told me, you know? And so things like that happen all the time.

So second time you take him back, okay? Like, we got that. Okay, so you find out that. And now is that when you guys decided this whole Polly to be Polly? So after that happened, I guess, then we moved into our house and it was built. And then we'd been in there for several months. And he said, I think that I would like to date.

remember I talked to you about polyamory. I didn't remember him talking to me about polyamory, but okay. And he says, I would like to date. And I said, okay, well, I don't have time for that, but all right, let me know. Well, what are you thinking here? He says, and I know who I want to date? And I'm like, oh, okay, who's that? Okay, then he tells me it's the person he had the affair with.

And I'm like, are you fucking me? Like, are you kidding me? I'm so glad you wrote a book. This has all the ingredients to address. great story. I got to tell you. And it has a happy ending. No, and it has a happy ending, which I love. Okay, so keep going. It's great. Yeah. My husband says every story has to have a villain and he's the villain. And I said, you need to, if you read past the first hundred pages, you are not the villain. This is just how. But I love that. He redeems himself, but that's a good story. You're never going to end the story with

just the villain and you being crushed. That's not a good story. No one wants to read that fucking story. They want the happy ending and they're going to get it with you. So keep going. He starts stating. her and it's hard because of course I don't have a great feeling about this relationship because of the way it started. I have tons of rules like how many times a month he can see her. She's not allowed in the house. You know, all of this stuff because I just need control because I was not really fully on board. But why are you doing it to keep him? Because you feel like if I don't allow him to do this, I either have to leave him or this is what he wants to do if I stay with him. Is that like what you're facing? Yeah. And also it's like I'm not. I'm not. I'm not his mother. It's not, I'm not going to tell him what to do. And he's being honest about this. And I mean, I have, after the affairs, like, I have access to his phone. I have access to his email. Like, I can find out anything if I want to. Like, he's a completely open book at this point. And he, and so he has this dating relationship. And it's a lot of ups and downs because, you know, I don't like her. But it's not like she's an awful person. But, you know, this affair happened. And it's just. It's just tainted from the beginning. So we don't have a really great year, and he then is going to be deployed overseas for a year. And when he leaves, they have ended their relationship, but then started it back up. And we're kind of like need a break from each other, to be honest.

And he gets deployed, and I don't really know what's going to happen when he gets back, because things were not great. And it's a really rough year. while he's away, he says, you know, you know, we have this relationship and I want you to date. I don't want you to feel like because I'm gone that you can't have intimate relationships. I don't want you to be lonely. You know, I feel bad enough leaving you. And I'm like, I've now got a kid on my own, you know, who's in middle school.

I've got a full-time job. I don't have time for this. After a few months, I'm thinking, well, might be nice to have some kind of. intimacy like I haven't even hugged anybody but my kid in several months now and I have I contact somebody that I is a very good friend of mine and I met him through the swinger scene so we used to like swing a few times together but then he and I just really became more friends and he was the one that I could talk to about all the stuff going on with my husband about how he's dating this person he had an affair with and he would he would listen to me he would you know

you know, hold my hand, tell me it was going to be okay and all of that. So anyway, my husband had been gone for a few months and I met up with this guy. And this was the first time that I had had sex with anyone besides my husband, like just me and this other person since college. And that was how I started dipping my toe in Polly. And here was, but this was someone I knew. So while he was away, this happened like a few times. And when he came back, he entered into a new relationship pretty quickly. And I'm on the AFS.

I'm dating. And then after a few months, I found a relationship. And so there's a big part of my book that talks about my first Polly relationship. And this was somebody that I saw, like, mostly every Saturday. He was married. His wife also had a partner. So this is kind of sort of more fully Polly. We texted every day.

We met every week. We had a very sexual relationship. We went out and did things together. And that was kind of the breakthrough relationship in Polly. There were a lot of challenges with that relationship. How come? He and his wife and I had a challenging relationship. I was super excited that, you know, here was a metamore that we could really bond.

You know, they had a kid that was like the same age as my kid. She was married and had a boyfriend. Like, I thought we had all this stuff in common. But if we had met out in the wild and not had a partner in common, we had so little else in common that I don't know that we would have been friends. It was, she was, even though she had a partner, she was not a big fan of polyamory. I think she had a partner because she thought, well, if my husband wants to fuck around, I'm going to do the same thing, that kind of mentality.

So that was challenging. How long did you stay with that guy? That guy, almost two years. How did your husband feel about it? Was he totally fine with everything? Because you did it on the up and the up. You were cheated. You know what I mean?

It was a very different experience for him. My husband is not a jealous or possessive person at all. And he encouraged me to do, like he didn't say, go out and have sex and tell me every detail. and this is why you should do it to please me. It wasn't like that at all. But he was very supportive. He was welcoming to anybody I dated, you know, as long as they treated me well.

If somebody didn't treat me well, then he was not, certainly not happy. But always supportive if I had a date, you know, and we needed to make adjustments in our schedule. He was on board with that. So I always felt he was very supportive. And even when I was, and he's the person I would talk to when, things were rocky in other relationships because he's the person I lived with. He's the person that knows me better than, you know, anybody else except maybe my sister. And so he heard all about it and he was always supportive. And he was the one that sometimes would say, you know,

he's doing the best he can. This is not easy. It was kind of what, like when he says he's the villain of the story, he became somebody that, like my shoulder, my rock, somebody who talked sense, but also loved me and wanted the best for me. So it was really nice to have that. And he also read a lot more of the Polly books than I did. So he was much more up on the lingo and maybe strategies for coping with issues. So that was fortunate that he is also still a very good communicator and a good listener. And having a partner like that makes all the difference in my opinion. Yeah, for sure. So he was okay with it. You have, How long were you with that guy again a long time?

Almost two years. Even though the wife was not so great. And then you have a new partner now? I mean, how many guys have you had partners? Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Well, so after that one, I dated another guy who was married in Polly for maybe a year or so.

But I'm currently in almost a nine-year relationship with a guy who's also married and his partner has another partner. and I ended like a seven-year relationship just within the last year. I've had other relationships that are more like what we would call comets, the people that I would see maybe once, twice a year. So it's not like you just have one primary, like you just not like have your husband and one other partner. You could have three at the same time. It kind of just depends.

Like at some point I might have only had my husband and somebody else or two other people or sometimes I have comets that I see a few times a year, like at a conference or an event. And also I have local partners. I had a partner that lived in Philly that I saw for like five years, but I only saw him every few months because he lived in a different city. So there's all kinds of ways to do this. And I actually traveled with him to another continent. I mean, that's a nice thing about having other relationships that you can explore different

experiences. I had a partner who likes cold weather and my husband definitely does not and we went to Montreal in February and had a lovely time and we went to Iceland. So there are all these opportunities to do things, you know, that you can't do with your partner or they're like, hey, that sounds like a thing for you and your other partner to do. So that's a wonderful benefit. Now when you got your other, your guy, the guy that you were with, like did it start making it like did it make it easier for you to accept him with other women? Because you had a hard time with the first woman, right? Because who she was and everything.

Like, when do you feel like you were, you got on the other side of that, you know? I think when I saw, I got it. Like my aha moment was he was still overseas and I had met somebody that I had very intense chemistry with. We met online and then we met in person and we just immediately had this chemistry and we just really wanted to be with each other. And that's when I was like, wow, now I see. Like, you can't have a new relationship energy if you don't have a new relationship.

And my husband and I, like, we have, you know, this mature love or whatever you want to call it and our sex is good. But, you know, it's not like somebody you just met and across the room sparks flyer, you know, that kind of chemistry. And you get that when you have new relationships. And also somebody that kind of discovers you and sees you. you with these fresh eyes and somebody telling you that you're interesting or beautiful or intoxicating or whatever it is. And my husband will say, well, I tell you that all the time. But it's not the same as a new person telling you, and especially someone who's 20 years younger than you or 15 years younger than you. I mean, that's an incredible ego boost, I have to say. So then I was like,

wow, look at, I can have this. I can meet new people. I can experience new things. I can experience new things and have this connection, not just like a swinger or one-off kind of thing, but somebody that I develop a relationship with. Like I know, you know, his sister's name and I know where he grew up. And we talk about the kind of movies that we like or, you know, those kind of shared things that you do in a relationship. And that's when I thought, yes, now I get it. Now I see what he gets out of it. and now I see why he likes it. But when I find out that people are like in a couple, like the husband dates or the wife dates

and the other spouse doesn't, and I'm like, how does that work? It happens a lot. So like one partner might not be interested in the other partner is, but for me, that was really hard. When he was dating the person he had the affair with and I wasn't dating, I haven't heard one success.

That was super hard. Have you heard success stories where one person is Polly and the other one isn't? I, you know what, I heard that recently and it was a big fat scam and the guy was fucking lying. So I don't really, I don't know how that works in real life. I have heard from like I said, Polly people, swingers who evolved like you did and started playing solo and then started having other relationships. And I remember this one woman, Jasmine, who said exactly kind of like what you said. She said, you know, it got to a point where now I realize like, you know, it's amazing. It's great to have like another partner or like, you know, to have other people to, you know, fulfill things. things with you that your other partner can't. Like, you're never going to find one person that's going to give you every single thing that you need. And so it's amazing to be able to, both partners go out and get maybe needs met that the primary partner isn't interested in with other people. And that's where they were at. And so, and that's what you're saying, too. Like, you get all this

other stuff that you could never get in your primary partner after a while, right? Because you just been with them for so long. And maybe they're not into certain things. And the other, like, especially, if you're into kink and power dynamic relationships, when, like, my husband and I met in college. Like, we, our relationship is a lot about being equal partners. And you can't really have a DS relationship with somebody if you're, like, equal, you know? So if you have a marriage or a relationship where that's how you operate and you're interested in power dynamics, you kind of have to do that with somebody else.

and this gives you the freedom to do that. And I'm sure you've talked to people who said, oh, my partner's not interested in this kind of kink or in this kind of activity. So I do that with somebody else. And I can understand that. And this way you can maintain the dynamic of your relationship and how it works instead of trying to force a dynamic on it that is just not authentic to your relationship. Yeah, exactly.

No, I know. And it's a reason why a lot of people are doing stuff like that on the DL, you know, because they don't believe that their partner would ever allow that. And a lot of partners wouldn't. A lot of partners wouldn't be like, okay, go get your needs met by somebody else. It's just, unfortunately, that's just not the way a lot of people roll. But your guy is lucky that you roll that way. I mean, I feel like, you know, he might be the villain, but you are the fucking heroin in the story who has kept that, you know,

who has been evolved enough to keep this going regardless of all the things that you've been through. I mean, you have been through things and you have been able to come to the other side, you know, and see your part and take it for what it is and move on and keep your marriage in check. And you're better for it, I would assume. I am. I mean, I am actually at this point of my life grateful. Right. Amazing.

That I would have just been going down my path, you know, my white picket fence path and it would have been fine. And I would have done volunteering in PTA and my job and raise my kid and all of that. and just the book would have just been one chapter. My life would have just been this one chapter instead of this multitude. And so even though I went through a lot of pain and humiliation and self-doubt, I would not, I mean, it was worth it because I am at this point where I understand and I embrace it and in such a way that I want to tell other people. And I was, you know, raised in this two-parent traditional household.

I never even heard the word polyamory. Like, this was completely outside of anything I had ever knew about or even wanted to experience until it was almost thrust upon me. But getting to the point of embracing it and saying yes, because that's the thing. I did finally choose to say yes. And I'm glad I did. That's just kind of what I want to communicate is you have a choice and maybe you didn't think that this choice was open to you, but here's how one person did it. It's just my, it's my story. Just one person and that's, this is how it works for me. Yeah, I love it. I mean,

your whole story is so super interesting. Now, what's your, I know you live with your husband and your metaphor or your metamore. I love these terms. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you have to come back on to do a, just a bigger picture, educational, you know, informational, Polly with all the labels and all the words, you know, for my audience because I love it. But like, you know, you live with her. What about your guys? Like, where are you, like, what do you have currently going on? So I have a partner who lives just a few miles from me.

And with his wife and his wife has a partner who is out of town. That's kind of the current situation. I'm also dating a couple people, one who's married. one who is single and I have my husband who I live with. So that's kind of, and this, by the time this airs, I don't know if that will change, but that's kind of where I am now. How long do you be with the guy that you're with now? That's the nine years.

Oh, wow, long time. Yeah, and that's going through some changes now too. So, again, I don't know where that's going to go, but we love each other and we see each other and we're figuring that out. And now I've started seeing a couple new people, and those are very new relationships, just a couple months. So we'll see what happens with that. But I'm meeting people who do different kinds of work, who are interested in different activities. So it's just, it's always like this expansion and renewal and education, just like when you meet, you know, a new friend or a new colleague or anybody new in your life.

there's new energy, you're like, oh, I never thought about listening to that kind of music. This sounds cool. Yeah, let's go to a concert. Or, oh, you like to cook this kind of food? I don't know a lot about it, but yeah, let's look into that. And so it's just broadening. It's all, you know, living your life and learning new things. And I think the more new different experiences and people you meet, the more accepting and tolerant and informed you become, So I think it's just good growth as a human being. I think you have to be very evolved to be able to do Polly. You know, I just do Polly the right way.

Like I said, a lot of people try it. Sometimes I get a fucking headache when I'm, because of Polly stories have so many players and then it gets so, it just sounds like people are tormenting themselves. This doesn't sound like that. I mean, you've been doing this for years now without any kind of cheating anymore, right? Like everything's been, right? Like it really, like that was what you guys needed to,

that's how you guys needed to coexist for things to be okay, right? And you're both getting your needs fulfilled. It's not like just one person. No, I mean, we've gotten to this place. And like I said, there were a lot of bumps and rocky ways. But I hopefully we've learned and grown from them. So I'm not saying this is easy. You know, we say polyamory is not relationship 101. This is kind of, you know, master's level graduate. PhD, yeah, for sure. And so it, yeah, it took a while. So I don't think I think people should be kind to themselves. It's not easy at first. And don't think that you're failing or it's not for you.

You got to figure it out. And because we're not taught how to do it. You're just not. And I'm hoping that all of that, more of that stuff is in the book. I'm assuming there is because I think that's why people need to go read the book, right? Because they need, like, I think a lot of times people think things are like in the movies and just everything just happens magically and perfectly overnight. And most of the time, real life doesn't work that way.

And so I think it's like really great that you did write this whole book and you talk about all of it, the good, the bad, the ugly and the happy ending, right? So give your shout out to all your information again. And I'm going to put the links and stuff in the description. Yeah. So the book is called Saying Yes, My Adventures in Polyamory by Natalie Davis. You can put that in any search bar for any bookstore or, you know, retail. I write stories on Medium.com, which are more about my present day, Polly Life. I have about

40 stories on there. And I'm pretty much everywhere as Natalie Davis Adventures. My website, my website is Natalie Davis Adventures. On Instagram as Natalie Davis Adventures, on Medium the same way. And what link do you want to put in the description? You can put my website, Natalie Davis.com, Adventures.com. There's a link through that. Natalie Davis Adventures.com. Okay, great. Okay.

Great. I love your whole story. Like, I really think, like I said, it has all the ingredients to make for an interesting read. And it's very real. It's very real life. Sorry, life is fucking messy. You listen to it. And that's why I always loved watching documentaries when I was younger, even to this day.

Because it's not, you're never going to see anyone's documentary or hear about anyone's whole life story without, you know, them, going through bumps and hard times and all this kind of stuff, you know, and anybody's life that's perfect. This is fucking weird and I don't believe them. You know, that's not what like, we're not born to have perfect. Like if that was the case, we wouldn't be born. You know, like being a human being is about going through things, learning and growing and having difficult times and happy times and all of that. And I love that because that to me is reality. So I love that you wrote this book. I love that you came on the story on the show to talk about it. I love that it had it all. And I'm going to, and I think people should go buy your fucking book because it sounds great.

Thanks, Kathy. I appreciate that. I've had a lot of fun today. Yeah, this is great. I'm going to have you back on for like a bigger picture poly topic eventually because I think it's great. I love, I think you could educate people just like, like I said, bigger picture, right? And talk about it.

But thanks for calling in. It was super interesting. Okay. Thank you. Can you send me picks for like my Patreon and I'll give you free access to there, see the comments and stuff? Like I have a Patreon. You're out and proud.

So your pictures are your face or are you anonymous? Yeah, yeah. I can send you some pictures. Sure. Okay, great. And there's, I can do that. Okay, awesome. All right. Thanks, Natalie.

Go have sex with your husband. We all know what you're doing now. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available, not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book.

It's still not going to be out until August. 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like. a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them.

They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre- Reorder it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you

the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.