Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1296 - Alex is Into Pantyhose and Crossdressing and his Wife Knows 

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

Alex is Into pantyhose and crossdressing and his wife now know and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including when he realized he was first  into hose and high heels, how he got caught wearing and how his parents reacted, where he’s stole his hose from at first, how and when he started hooking up while wearing hose with his guy friend and what would go down, when and how he got his first gf into wearing hose for him and how she felt about him having the fetish, how and why he stopped wearing for a long time himself, when he started wearing again behind his wife’s back and how he felt about sneaking around, how and when he started wearing dresses behind his wife’s back, when he decided to come out at tell her everything he’s  been keeping from her and show she reacted, how he eventually copped to the guy in guy action as well as being into gay porn and how his wife reacted, how she gave him a free pass and why he hasn’t found a guy yet, the dildo they bought and what they’ve been doing with it plus a whole lot more. GET A COPY OF MY BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To see anonymous a pics of my guests + get TONS of exclusive CROSSDRESSER and or HOSER episodes and content + hear all the anonymous confessions, join my Patreon Crossdresser tier it's only $8 a month for Hosers and $10 a month for crossdressers (you get also get Hoser episodes too!) and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠ To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.  Sponsors:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://motorbunny.com/strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Black Friday Sale PLUS $50 off! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 30% OFF your entire order⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get your first month of the new Bluechew Max FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use code ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus a 14-day money-back guarantee⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

could call into the show. Just send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com or just go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com, and click on Beyond the Show. Now listen, if you have a secret confession that you want to get off your back. I have a confessions hotline. You could call that number 247. Just call from a quiet place, okay? I change all the voices over there, too.

The number is 347, 4-203579. That's 347-4-203579. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest of them go on to my Patreon. Now, my Patreon is a really great deal. I literally only charge $7 a month, which isn't a lot because you do get all of the episodes early, intro, and ad free, as well as some Q&As that I do every other month, as well as you get all of the naughty hot picks of all of my guests.

If you want to put a body to any of the episodes of the female, that call into my show. They're all over on my Patreon. And you also get a complimentary link to my private discord. Now, my private discord is a super fun place. It's a not safe for work site. It's a place where everybody gets to interact with each other. And there's like tons of channels over there. Like I said, it's very not safe for work. It's a place where you could upload your own videos and your own pictures. I think people are hooking up over on my Discord. Okay, the only way you could get into my Discord is getting the link from me. I give it to people who, sign up for my Patreon and I also give it to people who buy my book. It's called Secret Sex Lives

with Total Strangers with 17 stories from my show told in the third person. They all represent a topic that I typically talk about on my show and each story is super interesting just like my episodes. Okay. It's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers. These are all true stories. The book is available in an e-book format as well as paperbook and you could get it wherever you buy books. The link will be in the description. But if you buy it, I will give you free access to my Discord. Okay, I will throw that in. All you got to do is send me a picture of your screenshot of your purchase and I'll send you a link to my Discord. Okay. The last thing I also want to tell you about is I do have a free trial that I offer any of my

listeners to get onto SDC.SDC.com is like the world's largest adult website. You not only could to hook up with people on there, but you could also get in the know of all the swingers clubs and the meet and greets and the munches, all the meet and greets and the sex parties and all that kind of good stuff in your neighborhood. Or if you're going away on vacation and want to play, you're going to get to find out what's going on wherever you're going on SDC.com. You get a free trial over there. All you got to do is use my code 371.2 or just go to the description. Click on the link. The link to my Patreon is there. The link to buy my book is over there. Everything is in the description but anyway okay today I have on Alex oh my god Alex's story is great it's so inspiring he's a hoser

who was then a cross-dusser he even hooked up with his guy friend when he was in high school and you know these were all these secret things that he was like kind of into he met his wife very early on when he was super young he let her in on the fact that he loved seeing her in hose and he talks about that and how willing she was to do that and they had a couple bumps in the road over her wearing all the time for him But that was like the extent of what he told her. He kept all his cross-dressing and wearing hose while he was married to her for a long time, like underwraps. And he didn't even really tend to that part of himself. He really just put it aside, never thought about it.

He was always watching gay porn during this time. And then eventually, like, out of nowhere, he started up again. And he started to dress in hose. And then he talks about how it progressed. And he started to cross-dress, too. And he was doing it behind his wife. back feeling very bad, but he was into it, you know, because it's his fetish. And then he went up coming clean. And he came clean about everything. And you have to hear the whole story.

Because first he dropped this and then he dropped that and even told her about the guy friend of his and what they did. And he like basically has a free pass now. I mean, the whole story is so much more interesting than I'm saying. I mean, it's interesting when you hear the short story, but the long story is even more interesting. This is somebody that just out of nowhere decided to come into his own, put everything out there, be super, super honest about everything and come clean and his wife accepts it and she's cool. I mean, wait till you hear like what she's done and done with him after he told her everything. It's an amazing story. I think it's super inspiring for people who are like in a long-term relationship for many years. He was with his wife for many, many, many, many, many years before

he told her. And he's here to say, you can tell your partner after many years. years of them that you've been hiding this secret or all you know hiding something from them and it doesn't mean it's going to end your relationship so anyway i'm going to get right to it and be right back on with alex uh hey Alex welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast how are you today good Kathy how are you good thanks for calling in your uh cross jester and a hoser i suspect that the hoser came first and then the cross just thing came second but you never know i don't know what you came first? What was your gateway drug? You know, what do you say? What would the answer? Just to that question before we go all the way back and get your whole life story.

Yeah, so I would say the, I'd say the hoser started first. Oh, you're so from Boston. You got that Boston accent. I got this other guy, I like that. I like it. Yeah. It's so telling. You can't, you know what I mean? You can't hide. I heard that last week, actually. But I would say, The hoses started first, and then it started, I guess, cross-dressing. I mean, really, it started back from, I'd say, kindergarten is my earliest remembrance of being, like, I remember my kindergarten teacher. She always wore nylons and skirts and high heels. And actually, she was my next-door neighbor. So I always saw her when she got home from school.

And I guess it just blossomed from there, like, hey, I wonder what it would feel like to wear that, you know? Oh, and all of it. But wait, quick question, Alex, before we go back right to that same moment that you're just talking about, I love those first memories. But quick question, like right now, are you married or are you single guy? No, I'm married. Okay. And last question before we go back. Does your wife know about your hose, your cross-dressing, all that kind of stuff?

She knows about my cross-dressing. Oh, okay. I love it. Okay. Well, we'll get there. Oh, yeah. I came out about two years ago. Oh, okay.

I love that. And how long you guys been married for? We've been married eight years. Oh, okay. So you, oh, I like this. So it wasn't like something you told her up front. It was way later. I love that story.

That's super, that'll be super interesting because it shows that, listen, she's still married to you. It shows that you can bring this up after not bringing up for a long time and your wife won't fucking leave you. But let's not go there yet. Save that for the end.

Let's go back to the beginning with your kindergarten teacher. I can't believe like you had your, it's like, it's almost like torture. Like you see your, your kindergarten teacher, you know, wiggling her little feet and panties or anything. And then she's like right next door. I don't know. That's maybe probably a good thing. I don't know. But it's like, it's crazy that like there she is right next door to you too, you know. Yeah, she always wore, like I never wore her. Like I never saw her shoes up, but she wore high.

Like I said, all the time. Okay. And it was early 90s when I was in school. So a lot of teachers, I mean, she dressed up mostly out of all of them. But a lot of teachers were like, you know, stockings and tights, I guess, if you will. And then I guess I guess I guess I must have just had gotten curious. And then I tried my mom's on. And I was hooked. But that's what you went to first, the panty hose? Yep. Okay.

And you put them on and you put them on. Like it was immediate, right? It wasn't just like you wanted to know what it felt like to. Yeah. I remember. I mean, yeah, it was just, I put them on and I, I mean, I wore them maybe like just in my bedroom, whatever. Then I took them off. I always knew my mom's nylon's where I knew exactly like what draw she kept in.

Yeah. So I would just go into a room. I'd bring back to mine and I'd wear them and then I'd take them off and I'd go stuff them back and then that was it. Right. Okay. Now, did you ever get caught when you were like stealing that stuff when you were little? Oh yeah, a couple times. No way. Dressed like how much dressed into? I was young. I was probably less than 10 years old and she caught me and obviously I got in a lot of trouble. What were you wearing? What were you wearing? What were you wearing? What were you wearing? You're probably wondering like, hey, what are you doing? Like, you're in your bedroom with the door shut and she came in and obviously she pulled the covers off me and

I had them on so I got in trouble. But you had on just, at this point, you're just wearing panty hose. So she catches you with pantyhows. You must have looked like you were guilty with your face that she ripped the covers off. How did she know? I can only imagine what my face is like. Even though you're so young, you know like you shouldn't be doing that. Even though if you think about it, it's so innocent and little, like I don't know if I didn't know about a pantyho's special.

I have a son, you know, and he's like 10 now. If he was like eight and I saw him wearing something, I wouldn't, I don't know. I'd be like, you know, and he was just walking around and he wasn't hiding it. I just think he was playing dress up, you know, but it's interesting. You look so guilty. You made it worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was not, she was not happy.

If I remember correct, too, I think I must have gotten caught a lot because I want to say I went to, I think she took me to a therapist. I remember, like, it was so long ago. Of course. I don't really remember many deeps, but I remember, like, someone asking me, like, oh, why do you do it? And they, like, some lady asked, go, oh, like, some lady asked, well, or like do you think you're a robber? And I said, oh, yeah, that's why I'd do it. And you like, oh, all right.

And then that was it. Like, when it was so far back, I don't really, I can't really tell you exactly if I definitely went and I'd never bring it up. What a dumb, dumb therapist. Hey, you know, mom, you know. No, but what a stupid therapist. Like, was she just trying to, like, sweep everything out of the rug and pretend that you were just playing dress up for your mom?

Yeah, like, I don't know if they ever took me to a therapist. When I remember, I want to say someone talked to me about it. I remember going somewhere and someone talked to me about it. that was, I remember someone like, hey, why do you do it? Yeah, and the robber thing. No, I think I'm a robber and they just, wait, you said that or she put that into your head? Who said, she put that in my head.

Yeah, that's interesting. They said, oh, why do you do it? Do you think you're a bank robber? And I said yes. And then I don't know if it was a therapist. She, but it's interesting. And I don't want to ask. And I don't want to ask my mom, like, hey, do you guys ever bring me to a therapist

when I was a kid? Why not? That's kind of interesting. She did. They definitely did. That's what was going on, you know. But anyway, okay, so you got caught a bunch of times. Your parents were like, what the fuck's going on here?

They literally brought you to a therapist. But it didn't deter you, right? Because this is a fetish. It's not going anywhere, right? Like, no matter how many times you got caught and how much trouble you got in, you continue to steal and wear. Yeah, I stole that while I would wear my mom's. And I went to my grandmother's house.

And I always knew, and I knew she won. I always saw her wear him. I remember I went in one of her drawers and I pulled a pair out and I stuffed it in my pants where I took it home. And I remember putting them off. on. And my mom caught, I put them on, and I put my pajamas on. I went downstairs and they must have saw it, obviously, because my mom said, what are you wearing? I said, oh, nothing. And she caught me and said, like, where did you get these from? And I started crying, and I got in a lot of trouble for that.

You said these were grandmas? I don't think I can't. I think she must have known, like, my mom didn't really wear many, like she maybe had three or four pairs. So obviously, she must have knowing, hey, these aren't mine, you know, I think they were, like, blue in, like, some weird pattern. So, oh, my God. Your poor mom doesn't, there's no internet at the time. So she can't go Googling and do a quick search and find out that this is like a fetish. She has no idea that there's something called a panty house fetish. No way.

No, I didn't have even that, right? So she must have been like, what the fuck's going on my kid? Anyway. Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah. So does, like, so the other dressing, though, comes on, like, when you're young, too, right? Like, you start to wear other things when you're young, too, right? Yeah, so my teens, I remember I stopped. I didn't do it often. I maybe did it, oh God, a couple times a year.

What, dressing up or wearing hose? Wearing, wearing nylons. Okay. And then my teens, I want to say middle school, there was a teacher and she always wore them, like she always had on a skirt. And she was pretty, she was well to do, you know. So obviously, from what I remember, it was my Spanish teacher. I got curious. I went home and I tried on her high heels. I just walked around the house. And I remember I grabbed the bathtub. towel and I wrapped it around me pretending like it was a skirt. And I just, I walked around the

house and I went in the basement so I could hear myself like, here the high heels clicking and I just loved it. Wow. Okay, so that's where that comes into play. Now, did you ever get caught wearing anything more than the hose or was that the extent of it because you were older at that time? I don't know if she ever caught me. I don't know if she

ever noticed her high heels were missing. I'm assuming she did because she's very, my mom's very meticulous and organized. Yeah. And, I mean, it was to the point where she knew I was wearing her night because she used to hide them on me. Oh. And she called me out one time at the dinner table and said, stop wearing my nine and I said, I don't do that.

She goes, I know it's you because they have all runs in them. Oh, my God. I was very embarrassed and I stopped. Yeah, that's bad for her because she's getting ready in the morning and now she has nothing to wear. Are you fucking her up? Yeah. She was, she stayed at, she was kind of like a stay at home mom. She worked part of time, but she never like, she didn't wear them too often.

So she definitely knew, like I said, where else would she get runs in her? Yeah, I got it. Okay, so continue on. So now you're into heels. Like, how does it progress? Just keep telling me your life story. So it just went, like, went to heels. And like I said, I didn't really wear them too, too often, like, probably a couple times a year.

But then in middle school, it's when it progressed. Like, I started with the high heels and then I painted my toes and then my hands once. Okay. And I love the look. I looked down. And I was like, wow, I like that, you know. Mm-hmm. And then I'm pretty sure she, I think she saw my hands with painted once because she called me out on that.

Oh, really? She said, you paint your nails? I said, no, I didn't. She goes, yeah, you did. I can see your hands right. I said, no, I didn't paint my nails. She was like, you're lying to me? Yeah.

Did they ever question your sexuality to your face? No. Because that's what I think that they would think more so than anything else. Even though it doesn't mean that, I think maybe that's what they would think. No, never did. Interesting. I was in a conservative household, too. Like, my parents were not,

they didn't talk about anything like that. Well, how old are you? 35. Oh, okay. So your parents were still from that generation where they just, like, sweep everything under the right? Yeah, they're baby boomers, and they're not, like, they're very plain people. Like, they're nothing.

No, they're not like that at all. Okay, cool. So you're, so, okay, so now you're wearing the polish. Like, do you, okay, let me ask you this, because I asked you if your parents ever questioned your sexuality. Did you ever question your sexuality? Or did you know? Yeah, I'll get into that. Oh, yeah, I definitely did. Okay. So I don't know. You go wherever you need to go because I don't know your life story. You know. So I stopped. In middle school, I stopped because I remember the kids used to make fun of me because I'm not a hairy guy. So kids would make fun of me. I was very self-conscious about it. Like I had no hair in my legs and they used to say, oh, you know, you have no hair in your legs. And middle, like teenage me, early teens, 13,

me thought that the nylons are pulling off my hair. Yeah. So I stopped. I stopped for a while, like probably three years. Yeah. I was very self-conscious about it. And then, actually, I probably stopped for two years and then I started back up again.

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Go to butter wellness.com. That's B-U-T-T-E-R-W-E-L-N-E-S-S dot com and use code strictly. Okay. So I don't know. You go wherever you need to go because I don't know your life story. You know. So I stop. in middle school I stopped because I remember the kids used to make fun of me because I'm not a hairy guy

so kids would make fun of me I was very self-conscious about it like I had no hair in my legs and they used to oh you know you have no hair in your legs and middle like teenage me early teens 13 year old me thought that the nylons are pulling off my hair yeah so I stopped I stopped for a while like probably three years yeah I was very self-conscious about it and then probably actually I probably stopped for two years and then I started back up again And I had my best childhood friend. This is where it kind of gets interesting. I'm my best childhood friend who lived right next door to me.

Uh-huh. And I don't know how I should start with this. Well, you guys hooked up. I mean, we've heard it a million times. So we used to like role play. Like we used to play house, I guess, if you will. Yeah. And it was me, him and his sister.

And I remember he used to always like being the wife. We never questioned it. Like if we play like he was the wife. like whatever you know yeah so i remember one night we went in the hot tub and i was like hey uh oh let's go skinny dipping so all right so bathing suits come off in the hot tub next thing you know he's oh i got to um i got to change the radio so he gets up out of water i can see he's hot so immediately like i went hot and kathian i don't know why like obviously i liked it so we're just kind of swimming around or whatever and next thing you know i was like hey i was like joke around so let's

have sex. Like we're must have playing the role playing role, you know. Oh, okay. Oh, right. So you're pretending you're still in character. Yeah. I was like, oh, I was like, let's have sex. And he's like, no, I don't want to do that. And I was, oh, just be like pretend. He's like, no. So it kind of got weird for like maybe five minutes. I was like, I was like, well, are you gay? And he's like, no. And I'm like, well, I'm not either. I was like, we'll just play around. So he kind of like, roll his eyes. He's like, all right, what do you want me to do? So I'm like, well, turn around and I get on your knees and, you know, just hump you. So I'm like, all right.

So he gets on his knees or whatever. Like gets him, I get behind him. I just like kind of like grab his hips, but I kind of stay like, I'm obviously nervous. Both of us were obviously nervous. How old were you guys at this point? I was 15. Okay. Okay.

That's when people are start fooling around. Oh, yeah. So I grabbed onto him and then like I pretend to thrust into him. And like, it would be lasted two or three minutes and we stopped and went back to like just sitting in the hot tub and like I said it must have been awkward. And I think I was like, oh, you want to do it again? He's like, yeah. So he got back to do it again.

He's like, this time he's like, you don't have to stay away from me if you don't want. I'm like, all right. So I went up to him and I started just thrusting into him. So I started thrusting into him and I don't know how long it lasted. It must have lasted, you know, for a little bit. And then, you know, we got out of the hot tub and we probably did that two or three times where we just went skinny dipping and kind of just messed around the hot tub. and then after that we're downstairs in his parents basement and we saw a pair of like I guess they're like semi-opaque

nylons hanging up on a chair so I remember I was like hey I was like you want to try these eyes like I don't know I'm like oh let's go upstairs and his parents had a garage with like a spare room in it I was like let's go up there you can try him on so he's like all right so we went up there and pulled we got naked and kind of like he stood he were both standing up So what do you want me to do? I was like, well, turn around. I was like, I'll just, you know, go into you like we did in the hot tub. He's there, all right.

And I just started humping him and just kind of did our thing. But when you say humping, you're topping him. You're going inside. No, no, no. You're just moving. You're just moving. You're just grinding. You're just, you really are just dry humping.

Are you grinding, but you're naked? Yeah, we're fully naked. He was wearing nylons. Yeah. I was, I was naked. Okay, that makes more sense for 15. Yeah, that makes more sense for 15. You're not like topping him. You're literally just still just dry humping, but you're kind of naked. So it's like, you know, but it's probably obviously stimulating. Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. Especially at your age, you know, the wind blows and you get like you feel it, right? So you don't need much. I've always had, believe it or not, I've, I mean, I've always had intense sleep, but I've always had a high sex drive. So I was definitely, I mean, horny. I was, I would have humped anything, Kathy. Right. But you do. But you do. did say to that friend like, you know, listen, I'm straight too, so like, let's

just do it. Like, did you feel like it was very clear to you that you were straight, but you just like to hook up with guys? Um, I definitely questioned it. I was like, am I gay? You know? I had girlfriends that was middle

I mean, it was, yeah, it was middle school. I had two or three girlfriends. I know I liked girls, but I was also like, hey, why do I like doing this, you know? Yeah. So, I mean, that we messed around like that. God, at least a dozen times. And there was one time,

there was one night, I remember in particular, we were messing around, and he were upstairs in his room, and he's like, what do I'm going to do? And we had knee highs. I was like, I'll put these on and then lay it on your bed. So you want me naked? Yeah, you get naked.

So he got naked. So I started humping his feet. And then I moved up to his calves. I remember I was just kind of like rubbing his ass. And obviously the mood struck me, right? And I just kind of got on top of him and I spread his ass cheeks and put my, I went in between. I didn't, I didn't go in. I just humped, but I just kind of humped his ass.

And I remember we were going back and forth and he's like, I want to turn over. So he turned over. And then we started, I started like humping him like we put our talks next to each other. And we're kind of getting really into it. And then I could feel myself getting ready to come. So we both stopped. And I hurry up. I threw all my clothes on.

It's probably like 8 o'clock and 8.30 at night. I remember I threw all my clothes on. ran home and I remember I heard if I got in bed, I had dressed and my stomach was just covered and come. Oh my God. I don't know if it was. But let me, okay, just keep going to. What were you going to say?

I don't know if it was both of us or mine. Oh, my God. I was just covered and it turned me on a lot. And I remember I just, but then once I came, I had the post not clarity and I was like ashamed. I was like, why, why do we do this? But do you, let me ask you this. If you could have had a girl do all those things for you, would that have been preferred? Was it just like where like when he was wearing for you and doing all that like were you like was it like being with a woman with that stuff on or was it about the panty hose or was it like a guy doing? I think I think it was mostly about the panty hose. But also I was like this this was like my best friend. We were friends since we were probably like four years old. And we were like inseparable. Like I didn't really well much. We always kind of hung around in neighborhood. We were four wheels and they put. We're always together like on weekends. Even at night like we always hung. Like got parents are kind of kind of. I'm like, we're like, we're kind of. I'm like, we're like, like, parents are kind of. And we're like, we're kind of. We're like, we're like, we're kind of.

clothes like we'd go back and forth like we literally lived like 500 feet from each other yeah so maybe it was just because i was so comfortable with them but i've never like had like i've never had like a sexual attraction to a guy if you will but you were i shouldn't say a sexual attraction i i've never like i don't know how to how to explain it you don't need to explain it i understand i've heard it a million times like you know like i wasn't in love with them I was just, I guess I was just horny. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Yeah, that's why I'm wondering, like, was it,

was the guy thing? Was it just because, like, because listen, I think a lot of guys wind up in circle jerks and doing all these things when they're playing around when they're younger because there's no girls around and they're just so horny. You know what I mean? And sometimes it doesn't really mean anything. And if the guy's like available,

you're like, why not? Because you're not going to get, most likely at 15, a girl that's going to do all that kind of stuff with you, right? So, but a guy lied and your friend did. So you went. for it because like that was available. Yeah. But let me ask you this.

I was very nervous. Yeah, but let me ask you this. Growing up, are you, first of all, are you still friends with that guy? No, we want our own ways. Okay, but like growing up after that experience with that guy and we're, because I want to get back to the cross things. Like, did you ever hook up with any other guys after that?

Nope. Right. Okay. So that was just stuff you did when you played around when you were younger. Did you ever have any desire to be with guys when you were older or no? Oh, yeah. Yep. Oh, okay.

You just have. never acted on it? No, I never acted on it. Because? I think I'm just nervous. I mean, I've always been, but I'm also, so here's kind of where it gets confusing. I love watching gay porn. Okay.

Well, that's not confusing. You like, looking up with guys. But I've never, like, checked. I've never been, like, sexually attracted to, like, a real life now. Yeah, I got it. But you like to, but you don't come across guys in real life that you're like, oh, I want to fuck them. the thought of it maybe in your head.

Yeah. Like I've never like seen a guy. I'm like, oh my God, he's so hot. Right. In pictures online, absolutely.

Like if there's a guy that's a cross-dresser and like, yeah, yeah, he's pretty good looking. But do you like guys just when they're cross-dresser?

Or do you like them when they're dressed as a guy? So if they're the right body type and physique, yeah, I would definitely 100% mess around with a guy. Yeah. Yeah, just that you never really,

you know, like across the line and did anything, right? No, no. Right. Okay, so let's get back to your cross-dressing. So, you know, you're like 15, 16, you're still living at home. Do you start to put on dresses and more stuff like, you know, because I know we do heal. No, okay.

So my friend and I, we almost got caught one day by his aunt. We're in bed and his aunt walked in the room. And we both froze. I was on top of them and we both froze. Like, Kathy, like the world stopped. What did the aunts say? Nothing. She walked right past the room where we were in.

The door was open. And she walked right past. We both brought clothes on. That was the last time that ever happened again. Okay, right. You were like too scary. So everything stopped then. And then about a year later, I met my wife.

I was in 11th grade when I met my wife. Oh, wow. Shortly off that, we both went our own ways. Like, we're just, you know, different life paths. Right. But now you meet your girl. And this is, and you've been with her ever since. Yep.

Okay. Okay. And everything stopped. Like, I didn't think about cross-dressing. I didn't think about my friend. Like, I thought, if I thought about my friend, she would know, like, my thoughts and feelings. So I just, everything stopped.

Okay. And even, like, I never said anything to her for a couple of years. Probably a year or two. I think, actually, I think it was a year. Okay. I told her where I remember we were at her house and we're in bed. And I was like, hey, like, she was like, oh, what do I do? I'm like, oh, let's just go upstairs laying bed and not.

she's like what do I'm like hey I was like go to CVS and go buy some thigh high like nylon she's like what the girls wear I said yeah go buy some because that right I remember she she went to the store got them came back put them on I remember I touched her leg I'm like oh my gosh this is like this is what I've been dreaming of because even though my friend like they weren't like it wasn't like he was wearing like sexy nylons like it was just you know whatever right but that's when I kind of she kind of I think she had an inkling that like maybe two or three times after I told her to wear him. I think she was like, do you like these? Like do you have a fetish? Oh, she used the word. Oh yeah. Yeah, she knew. Okay. And what did you say?

So I think I was kind of like dancing around. I was like, ah, no, you know, and then I think it maybe took me six months or five days. Yeah, you know what? I have a fetish. Oh, okay. So you did cop to the panty hose thing very early on? Oh, yeah. Okay. And how did she take it? How did she feel about it? Did she know you like to wear yourself? No. She had no clue. I buried that so deep, Kathy. I never, like I said, I barely thought about it and I never would have brought it up.

No way. Okay. Interesting. And it was buried. She knew I liked them on her. Yeah, but the thoughts of you wearing them was not only buried, like you're not telling her, it was also buried like you're not even engaging in doing it or anything. I'm not engaging in it.

I didn't think about it. Not at all. Okay. Like even if I saw her wearing it, I wouldn't think. like, oh, wow, the wonder with those? Like, never. Okay, keep going. So then what happens?

Because we all know, like, you're cross-dressing now. She knows about it. Like, you eventually get back to everything. So what, like, how long? What happens? Well, she actually, she wore them quite off. Actually, we were in, like, we're in high school. And she actually wore them if we went out date.

Like, hey, we're an island. And I mean, it was pretty cool. My girls, like, I mean, it was mid-2000s, so no one ever wore them. But she would for you. Yeah, you hit the jackpot. So I'm on a couple dates. Like, we'd go on a date. She wore a skirt.

with them and then under jeans she would wear them i was like wow like i have fucking life made yeah no wonder why you put a ring on it yeah and then i mean just kind of for a bunch of years you're just warm and then i remember yeah we're 21 because we're gonna go to the casino for date night i was like hey wear in nile's and she just flipped on me what do you mean she was like oh why do you like i'm sick of wearing like you i always have to wear these for you can never just like look at me without these. Like if I, like, oh,

like anytime we have sex, you always have to have these. And she was actually like, I mean, she was pretty upset, which I didn't stand, you know? Yeah.

So I was like, all right. And I remember like, it was a pretty big blow. Like, we get along pretty good, but it was a big blowout. Yeah.

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All you got to do is go to the description, click on the link there, and $50 is going to be automatically deducted from your cart. Oh, I've heard this before. Anytime we have sex, you always have to have these. And she was actually, like, I mean, she was pretty upset, which I understand, you know? Yeah.

So I was like, all right. And I remember, like, it was a pretty big blow. We get along pretty good, but it was a big blowout. Yeah. And I was like, all right, like, she flipped out on me. She obviously knows the word fetish, but she doesn't understand what it means. No, I don't think she did at the time. Yeah, of course not.

Unless you, that's what, you know, a lot of hosers don't understand or crushes. Like, you've got to really educate your partner on what it is and what it means and what it's all about. Because how would they know? Yeah, like, I want to tell. Like, listen, no, I am attracted to you, but I also. like this like you look good like she looks good in them like I love what she wears it's even deeper than that it's like a need it's like it's such a you know and so a girl that just thinks it's a fetish and it is what it is like she doesn't really understand you know so she can personalize it the way that she did and that would

have been your opportunity to really explain in depth about your fetish but it sounds like you didn't and it just like ended her wearing for you at that point well so she's like I said we had that big blowout this is on like a say when well I think it was like a Wednesday yeah We're going to the casino on Friday, so I felt pretty bad. I think she felt bad. Next day, we didn't really talk much. Sure enough, Friday, she shows up wearing them. Oh, that's nice.

I was like, what happened with this? Oh, you know, I felt bad. And I was like, all right, hey, that's cool. You know, I was like, hey, I know I have to control myself a little bit. And I worked on myself a lot, you know. I didn't really want it. Like, I didn't really ask them much, but, you know, every time I'd forget about it. Hey, wear them tonight.

Which it was. like it was like almost every time we had sex, hey, go put nylons on, which I can understand, you know. But she was okay with it. She only freaked. I'm going to take out all of my analyzing her at that point because it doesn't matter. Like she really just said it one time, she got past it and she continued to play again with you. Like it wasn't like you said, okay, forget it.

I'll never ask you again. Like she continued to wear her for you. Like you got your way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I said, hey, you know, can't wear him? No, not tonight.

All right. And I worked on my. too. Uh-huh. In what sense? Just where I would be like, hey, like, I have to, I kind of have to calm down yet because I literally do ask her to wear them every time we have sex. Yeah, that's smart. You decide to be more moderate about it. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's good. I think that that's really smart. You know, you were compromising. And I can understand from her. Like, yeah. And she was like, you know, I have to perform for you. She's like, how about every time you came home, I told you or something. I'm like, I understand, you know, so I worked on myself. Yeah, I think that's really,

I think that's really good communication between the two of you. You know, it's such a young age. Like, because you guys are still young at this point. But I think that that was really great. Yeah, I think that's really great that you both were able to recognize and come to a, like, a middle place where you were both sort of happy. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

That's great. Okay, go on. So she just kept wearing, like, we just kept going on. So there was one weekend she went out. She had a business trip where she left for the weekend. Mm-hmm. And I was at home and I don't know what came over me, why I did it. But I think I was, I used to watch like cross dress of pawn.

Uh-huh. And I think about, like, I started to think about it when I was like 22, 23. I'd watch cross-dress upon like once a month. And I'd be like, all right, I'm not doing that. Like, no one can find out about this. And it started to happen like, all right, every once a week I'll watch it. Yeah. And then like I said, that weekend I was home alone.

I don't know why, but for some reason I went upstairs and I grabbed the pair of nylons. I'm like, all right, I'm going to do it. and put them back on. And this had been a long time, right? Yeah, probably eight to nine years. Wow, crazy. We had our own house at this point.

Mm-hmm. So I went upstairs. I put them on, and I'm like, oh, my God, I came instantly. Right. Took them off, and I had that regret. That shame and that regret about it. Took them off, threw them in the draw. I was so afraid, like, I didn't turn the lights on the room.

I had the door shut. I had the downstairs, and I was home alone. Yeah. I had the doll, like I was so afraid. So I took them off, put him away. I'm like, why did I do that? Went to bed the next day, woke up. It was a Sunday.

I woke up. I was outside working the eye. I'm like, oh, I'm going to go do that again. Sure enough, I went inside. Same thing happened, Kathy. This is where it all began again. This is where it all started. Oh, really?

But it was like, again, it was like being a kid again where I would sneak into her room. I would put them on for like two minutes come and then that would be it. Right. It was very seldom again. once a month, once every other month. Okay. Well, how many years ago did that start again? It was like, you know, how long ago?

It was about 12 years ago. Okay, so now you're doing it in secret. And you're not telling her. Yep, I'm doing it in secret. I'm not telling her. And like I said, I wouldn't even turn the lights on the bedroom. Right. And then I did it a couple times or whatever.

I remember I turned the lights on. I looked down. I saw myself, like, wow, I look pretty good right now. but I was so, I was so weirded out about it that I hated it. You hated, like you wanted to not be that way is what you're saying. Yeah, I wanted to not be turned. I was turned on by myself and I absolutely hate it. I thought it was weird.

Yeah, I get that. I think that's pretty common. Yeah. So I took them all, like that went on. So I think when I was, yeah, it was maybe 28. For some reason, I, like I said, I don't remember what it was. I was like, oh, I was like, you know, I wonder what her, like, high heels would look like on me. Oh, here we go.

It's all kind of back. So she had an old pair in our garage that she never wore. Yeah. These have to fit. Like, I mean, I don't have big feet for a male. So, like, I have to be pretty close. So, of course, I go upstairs in our room. I slip the high heel on.

It was tight, but it fit. And, like, oh, my God, like, here we go. Right. And I looked at my, I walked around the room. I looked at myself, like, wow, like, great came in some. like immediately. Same thing. Shame to take it all off.

Like, why did I do that? Of course. And that went on for, I would say three years where, actually no, about two years where it was just her high heels

and her nylons, but it was very seldom. Right. And then my 30th birthday, we went out. and I mean we went out to you or whatever and we were kind of feeling good we went out for some drinks and we got home check

what do you want to do? I was like put your nylons on me and she was like really? She's like you want me to put them on? I'm like yeah put them on me so she went she put them on she like this is weird I'm like whatever put them

like she slid them all the way up we had sex as soon as I came I was like get these things off me out like why do this? But was she questioning it? I don't think so interesting. I mean she'd

knew that I loved the mana, but I don't think she was questioning it at all. But she didn't know that you liked it on you? No. Right. She didn't know that. Okay. Go on. I mean, I told, after like, a couple days after, I was like, hey, those felt, like,

those felt nice. Like, I don't know. Like, why don't you wear more often? She kind of laughed about it, you know? Yeah. Uh-huh. She said, of course you like them. It's like, oh, whatever.

But at this point, I believe I had been, I think I had tried on a dress already. Right? I remember I went into a closet and I'm trying to think back because I remember the day that I went into a closet and pulled out, like took out a dress. I think I just worked myself up. I remember I was on Reddit and I saw someone like a guy kind of like my building everything wearing a dress. I'm like, I bet you I would look good. And I remember I went in a closet, pull out a dress and that was it. That's kind of interesting because you never went there until now.

now. Like you didn't go. I didn't go. I didn't go. I didn't know why. And I don't know why. I have no idea why I never tried on my mom's or anything. It never crossed my mind to wear a dress. Okay. But like I said, that time, I remember I went in a closet, took it on, looked in the mirror, like, oh my God, I looked great. It came, like, that was it. And I lost my train of thought now. It's okay. Now you're like wearing a draught. Like you're wearing a, yeah. So, It was like three days after, go on, sorry, go on. I just started where I wore a dress, but like I said, it was very sporadic.

Like, not very often, and I hated it. I hated the fact that after the Postal clarity, I hated the fact that I did it, and I just tried to bury the feelings as much as I could. Right. Until I think I found your podcast, and I, the first episode I listened to was a cross-dresser, and I was like, I'm not the only one here. How long ago was that? Like, what was that?

How long ago was that? I want to say maybe three, two or three years ago. Okay. And I was like, wow. I was like, this is an actual story from a real like cross-dresser, like someone just like me, like a normal everyday guy. Like you would never know, Kathy. Walking down, if I walked into a room, you would never think I am like what I like. I know.

Isn't it crazy? People have an idea of like what a cross-dressor is like, whatever, you know, and it's like, no. that like I always say like kind of that's like what my show is here to say like these are like regular people you know what I mean like they look like they don't look like what you think and I don't know what people think that they look like but it's not it's just it's regular people it might be someone you know you know yeah so go on so so one day I was at work and for whatever reason I was like I'm gonna I'm just gonna come out and tell her about everything why do you think I I honestly don't know. I think it was just maybe I was so, I mean, we're pretty, we're very close. We've been together 19 years. And I don't know, I just, I think I just came

to want to just say, hey, you know what? I got to tell you this. Let me ask you this. When you start to listen to the show and hear more guys and realize you're not alone, did it make you feel more comfortable with it and you felt like, like, by the, like, because you were more comfortable with it, you felt like more comfortable to let her know, maybe? Yeah.

I think so. Yeah. I remember listening to Amy from Lexi. Amy and Lexi. Who's that? Oh, the couple. Yeah. Yep.

Yep. So I listened to when I listen to Amy's podcast, I was like, oh, my God. I was like, this is almost describing me perfectly. Yeah. And I think that really boosted my confidence and just made me want to come out with Della. And was it because you wanted to wear more and you did it like? you know, like what was it that you wanted to tell her, like. Yeah, I think it was I wanted to kind of like wear more and just not be so.

Feeling bad about it. Yeah, like, hey, when you're when you're not home, I'm upstairs wearing your dress and heels around the house. Wait, so how did you tell her and what, so what does, okay, so it comes over you that you want to like tell her. And like, tell me that conversation exactly how it goes down. So I was like, hey, I was like, remember that weekend you went away to the, she went to the cape. Remember that weekend you went away to the cape?

No, I think I told her. I was like, oh, I have to tell you something. She's like, yeah. And I was like, remember that weekend you went away to the cape? She said, yeah, I was like, I tried on a pair of nylons that weekend. And I think she kind of laughed about it.

And said, did you really? I said, oh, yeah, you know? Because now she goes, do you still wear him? I was like, oh, yeah, I still wear him. And she was just kind of asking a question. She goes, you wear anything else? So I'm like, oh, maybe try it on a pair of heels. too.

Okay. This is all through text. Oh, you're kidding. This isn't even a conversation. No. Where was she and where were you? Are you texting her while she's working?

I was at work. She was at home. Oh, okay. She's at least at work. I mean, because I would be like, that's fucked up if you're doing that to her while she's at work.

No, no. Okay, she's at home. Okay. So I was like, maybe, maybe high heels of two. And she was like, really laugh at like, she kind of like, was like,

all right. And then I was like, ah, and a dress. Oh, my God. I'm not sorry. She wasn't mad about it. She was like, like, she couldn't believe it. Yeah.

You know, and she's like, what else did you do? I was like, I might paint my toes. It's amazing that, listen, I give you credit. Like, you are just like coming fucking clean. Yeah. And I, and honestly, I never labeled myself up until that point that I was, this was two years ago. So I was 33 years old. I never ever labeled myself as a cross-dresser.

Yeah. But that day you said it out loud? Um, no. So I kind of told her that and she was just like, she was just that. She was like, I'm not mad about it. She just can't believe this. I was like, you never had this suspicion. She's like, not at all. She was like, maybe once when you told me put him on during sex, I was like, wait, is he joking? Yeah. Because she was like, I'd never had an inkling that you do this. Right. So I was like, all right, you know, we kind of went back and forth. And then I worked shifts. So I was there for a whole weekend, we're working. So the next day we talked about a little bit more. And I was like, we're like, we're just going back and forth.

And I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I was like, I'm a cross-dresser and it is what it is. Oh, you did. This is, now, is this in person? No, this is through text. I was still at work. Oh, okay.

Okay. Okay. And what did she say? She was like, wow. she's like, I give you a lot of crap for just coming out and saying that. I'm like, well, I was like, I never labeled myself as that, but I was like, I think this is who I am. Wow. How did that feel for you? Yeah, tell me. Before the shoot, like, I never, I guess I did that at it a couple times, but she was never, like, she was not into that at all.

Right. Not, like, not at all. Like, if this was 10 years ago, she probably would have broke up with me. to say like just we didn't know you know yeah but what was her okay how did you feel coming clean and then tell me her reaction when you got home and you're like in front of her i felt like i i mean it was kind of i it felt like a weight off my shoulders but i i texted after i was like this doesn't mean i'm a little bit too and she started laughing that's fun i like that little like you know joke about it light and think oh yeah but then like the next day i woke up and i'll the next day i left work and i was

going home and i'm like oh my god so this is me so fucking awkward walking in and now she knows my secret. Yeah, but what's worse? That awful feeling after you jerk off that, you know what I mean? That, that like dirty feeling you have because you did something wrong and bad or just feeling like a little nervous. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. It's just I couldn't, you know, I always, for my whole life, I always would just bury these feelings. Like they'd come. It's like a roller coaster of emotions. Yeah. Well, man, like, oh yeah, I'm going to do this and it's like, nope, I'm done. That's it. Yeah. I know I'm sure plenty of people could like, you know, relate.

So go on. So you get home, okay? And tell me what happens when you see her. I don't think anything really, like, I don't think we really brought it up much. I think it may be just a little bit like, oh, yeah, like she said she supports me, but she doesn't want to see it. She's like, I'm not ready for that. Which I can completely understand, like, hey, I don't blame me for people and not want to see me in high heels and a dress. Yeah, I remember one other cross-cessors said something like, but they made it opposite.

They're like, I don't think I want to see my wife dressed up as a dude, so I get it. No, yeah, right, exactly. Which I, like I said, I completely understand. Yeah. You know, like, hey, like, take your time. Like, I have to digest this too. You know, I just came clean to me about a freaking 33-year secret I've been hiding. Yeah.

I mean, is that the end? Like, was there any other conversations? From what I remember, I don't think so. But I mean, so that was how long ago? Almost two years ago. Okay, so in the two years. So now you have full rain to dress up, do whatever you want. You just don't do it in front of her.

What about Panyahu's? You know, like, go on. So a month later, I kind of went back and forth. It was a week. And I was like, let me just, I was like, let's like, she said, I'll, I'll explore this with you, but I want to take my time, which I can understand. So about a month later, I convinced her to let me wear nylon and high heels, like, for her to see me like that.

And she completely agreed about it. She was like, yeah, all right. Like, that's completely fine. Like, I'll, we're going to explore. We can be that far. Right. That far. Yeah.

She's like, I don't want to see you in a dress. And she was, she wasn't bad. She was like, I don't want to see you in my dress. I can't deal with. Like, hey, yeah, I understand. Yeah. So when I went upstairs, we both took showers. I went upstairs.

I came down and she looked at me and she's like, oh my God, she's like, you have beautiful legs. Isn't that crazy? Guys have better legs than girls. Oh, yeah. And I was like,

I like, yeah, I mean, it's kind of weird right now, but I guess you're seeing me like this. So yeah. Yeah. And we sat down.

We kind of had a couple drinks and just talked about stuff. And I'm like, just how we have to be honest with each other and all that. And like I said, I don't think she was mad. She was like, hey, like, you tell me anything you want.

Right. She's like, you know, we've been together long enough, blah, blah, blah. All right, you know, I understand. So I had about a couple weeks after that is when I tell about my experience with my best friend. That was going to be my question. I was wondering. Oh, yeah. Oh, I guess so you came clean about that.

Yep. What'd she say? Um, she was, she was like, oh, you know, I told him, like, listen, I don't know why I was so attracted to it, but it happened. And she's like, you were comfortable with them. Like, teenagers explore, I'm sure. She's like, it's not as uncommon as you think. Exactly. It's so common with guys.

Yeah. But then I told it, I was like, listen, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I love it. Oh, my God. You're the most, all of it. Like, what happened to you? You took some truth serum or something. Yeah. I think I was just like, listen, like, we've been together.

It's a lot. It's just, like, time to come clean. I love it. Okay. And what did she say? She understood. Like I was like, she's like, I guess, hey, it is what it is. She's like, I guess it is going to take me some time to kind of get used to you not being 100% straight.

And I was like, I don't even know like, am I by? Like, what am I? So I was like, listen, I have no sexual connected. Like, I don't have an emotional connection to a guy. Like, I couldn't see myself with a guy. Sexually, yes. Mm-hmm. But emotionally, like, no, physically.

not really got it i don't like i guess i don't like guys you know yeah but if a guy if there's a guy that is a cross dresser that looks pretty good dress as a girl yeah i'll i'll mess around right and what did she like how does she feel about all of that uh she she was like well the one thing that kind of messed me up is i was like hey like what if i did experiment a little bit and she was like my only worry is if you find figure out that you like it more than what you think of course Of course, of course. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, now she thinks I'm gay.

I'm like, listen, I was like, I'm not gay. Like, absolutely, I am not gay. Mm-hmm. She's like, oh, no, I, like, I understand that, but you, like, how do you know you've never done it? I'm like, no, I know. Like, I'm, I, I, I lust for woman. Right. And you love her.

I mean, did you have romantic feelings for your friend at the time or was it just a sexual thing? Just sexual. Right. So that's a very different thing. You know, you might like just enjoy a physical kind of pleasure with a guy, but you're not romantically attracted to men. So why would you leave her for a guy? Right. Yeah.

No, not at all. And I also, I left this out. I had a little fling with another girl there right before all this. Did you tell her that too? Oh, yeah. Oh, my. I don't know if you want to circle back to that. Well, just quickly.

Like, what did she, how did you get past that? No, she knew about it. I told her, like, it was kind of like, she knew what was going on. What do you mean she knew? She knew that. Oh, yeah, she found out. Yeah, she was kind of wanted me to mess around. Oh, she asked you to.

That's not cheating. Yeah, she was like, hey, like, if you want to get a side piece, I'm like, well, who the hell? I was like, here's my golden ticket. I was like, is the only girl I've been with? I mean, I hadn't had sex with another girl since this. And I'm like, who that? So I had this girl that I knew started Snapchat. And next thing you know one thing led to another, we had sex.

And you told your wife, but she was down with this. You had a free pass. Yes, yeah, she was down with it. Wow, your girl's so interesting to me. And does she, now let me ask you this, do you have a free pass with guys now too? Well, that's where it comes into what if you like it more. I think she, yeah, she would. Okay, so where are you at now?

Like, what are you going to do? Are you going to finally, like, like, meet a guy in real life? Do you never want that to happen? I mean, because... I've tried, like, I'm on Fet Life. Yeah. I've tried, I've talked to, I had a guy I was kind of talking to, but I'm also like, I'm still, I'm waded out by it.

Right. Let me ask you this, would your girl be into doing like a threesome with a guy and you there and maybe you could like sort of do something like that first so you could be more comfortable with a guy? I think she would, but she's not really, like we're both not really outgoing. I'm more outgoing than that. Uh-huh. Like, I don't think she would.

At least not right away. Right. Because if it was a perfect guy. Yeah. If it was a right, I should say, if it was the right guy, maybe, but even then, I don't know. Right. But you are looking for guys online because there is some part of you that thinks maybe before you die, you should maybe try it out. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I definitely want to try. You have the okay. I definitely, 100% Kathy. I want to try it just to see like, hey. like what does this feel like? Yeah. Do you want to be dressed or not dressed?

Doesn't matter? I could do. I could go both ways with it. And do you want a guy dressed or not dressed? Or you could go both ways that way too? Either or either or. It would have to be the right guy though. Like fit kind of clean cut.

I'm a clean cut guy myself. Yeah. Hygiene's huge. Yeah. Not like a man, like some big manly man. Like someone kind of, I guess my physique. Uh-huh. And I, if it was the right person, I would probably do everything, like, just try it once.

Even though two years ago, I was like, absolutely not, no way. Yeah. I would, I'm definitely open to it. Listen, you've been watching this gay porn all the time. Listen, maybe you, like, somebody asked a question, like, is it better to keep a fantasy, a fantasy, or live it out? Like, sometimes, like, you just don't know, right? Like, sometimes, like, you could try it out and be like, ah, not so great, you know, like, more fun. Like you don't really know until you kind of try it.

And it's pretty amazing that you're able to be like so completely honest with your girl and really let her know everything. Like really everything. And now you're kind of at the point where you're going, you are allowed to try it. And I think that that's great. And, you know, you never know how you're going to feel afterwards. You're going to have to do it. You'll eventually meet a guy. I'm sure that like all the stars alike and you feel comfortable, you know.

Maybe you just got a like you need a little bit more time. but, you know, pull the fucking trigger and let me know. But then, so we're out one night, or we're on vacation. Yeah. And I was like, hey, I was like, you know how, you know, I'm kind of into that little thing with like the buy side. She's like, yeah, and I was like, I'm not going to ask you this, but what if you bought a dildo for me to try? And she was like, yeah, all right, I'll buy one. So I'm like, all right, cool.

That was it. We dropped it. A couple weeks ago by, we got home. And I'm like, hey, I was like, do you ever on that dildo? And she's like, no. Like, would you mind ordering it? She'll go, yeah, I'll order it. So she ordered it, came in and she won no part of it.

But she allowed you to use it. Yeah. So I tried it. I'm like, oh, this is all right. But I was so waded out by it. Like, I couldn't really bring myself to do anything with it. Really? Yeah.

So I put it, like, I tried to suck it. I sucked it for like a minute. I'm like, no, I can't do this. And I tried to give it a foot job. I'm like, eh, this is kind of. weird and then I just put away and that was that messed around with it for probably a while after that.

Have you ever? What's that? Have you ever messed around with it? Oh yeah. One night we're having sex and I'm like hey, like she wanted no part of this dildo so whatever so one night the mood hit us right and then we're having sex and I'm like yeah I was like go get the dildo she's like yeah I was like yeah

so she gets it, lays down, puts it up to herself and she's like you want to jerk it off and like yeah so we stopped making him jerking it off and she was like you want to suck it, don't you? And I wouldn't say yes. She's like, you can do it. And I'm like, oh, my God. I was like, this is so weird.

I'm like, fuck it. I just went in and I started sucking it. And? She's like, oh, my God. She's like, you actually look good doing that. So I stopped. I'm like, do you really think that? She's like, oh, yeah.

She's like, this is turning me on. Wow. So I got really turned on. And then I got really turned on. And then after the sex, that was it. I was like, like, why did we? I told her. I'm glad I just do it. I can't believe it. Right. Have you been playing around like that ever since?

Yeah, we've had sex with it three or four times where she's put it up to herself and I've messed around with it. I've messed around with it when I'm at home when I'm home alone and I gave it for jobs. I've sucked it. I've tried to put it in me, but just it hurts way, way too much. I really, this is like a real, like, you know, I can't believe how far you've come episode, you know, really, if you think about it. Oh, yeah. And even to look back where I scheduled, I think, three or four calls with you and I always blew them off because I just couldn't. Oh, and I allowed you to try again? What was with me that day?

Because you were a Patreon member, right? You gave me the past because I had a Patreon. I have to be nice to my loyal fans. Because normally I'm like, fuck off. So yeah, so you really did come a long way because you were finally like, and you, I think you said that. That was like a part of you that said. Like I'm going to. Oh, 100.

I've come out. I've come a like the last, even the last month I've come a long way because I went through a perj of summer where I threw everything. I didn't know much, but I threw everything away. Yeah, that's common. And then I started back up recently and I actually, I told my wife, I'm like, listen, I was like, I have to get comfortable with myself. Yeah.

And she's, like I said, she's been very supportive. And one night I went, I shaved both my legs, painted my toenails, and we went out on a date night. I wore thigh highs and her panties underneath my pants and we have date night. Wow. Does your wife know you're calling in? Yeah. Would she ever call in? I don't know.

She might. I don't know. I don't know. Listen to this. I love your wife. I think she's so amazing. Oh, she's a unicorn. Yeah.

Like I said, you know, you knew to put a ring on it in 11th grade. We're smart enough to know this is my girl. You know what I mean? Yeah. She really was the perfect girl for you. I love how open and accepting she has been with you through your journey. I think it's so interesting how out of the blue, like, you kind of like decided to be so honest and you really copped to like everything. And like it really changed your life.

And it does go to show that if you could just like sort of reveal things about yourself, right? and you did it kind of slowly. Like it was a little bit at a time, but a lot, right? It was a little, it was like all of it, but like a little bit out of time or, you know, whatever. But like it really changed your whole life. Like now you're like you're living out all your stuff. You get to try all these things. You have a dildo in your room.

Like your girl is learning things about herself too. She was kind of like, wow, that's kind of hot to see it. Like maybe she'll be watching gay porn with you soon. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It really changed your whole game. It's like amazing. Oh, definitely. And you're still a work in progress, like you said, like a month ago, you were a different person and you're just going to continue to keep growing because you're finally like, you know, coming to terms with your stuff like in real life. Like, you know what I mean? You're finally like looking in the mirror and taking it all in. And that's amazing. Yeah. I mean, I went from not turning the lights on my bedroom to I've gone out with a hoodie on. Yeah. With stuff on. By myself, like I've wore a dress nylons and I drove around to pack roads, having a nice coffee with.

with like a hoodie on. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that's amazing. It really is amazing how far you come. And I think it's like a super inspiring episode. Like this one I'm not just going to put on my Patreon. I'm going to air it on my podcast because I think a lot of people need to hear this because,

you know, I've heard all kinds of different stories and it's really great when people like meet somebody and tell them right off the bat. Those are great stories because it helps people know that if they ever meet someone, maybe they could tell them too. But what I love about your story is that like you didn't tell your wife until way later, you know, and you had been with her for a really long time. But she didn't leave you, you know.

And I think that that's a, that's a great story. And that'll give a lot of other people hope because there's so many people out there that are with, you know, their people. They've, you know, they've met the one. They've been with them for many, many years. And they're keeping like a secret. A lot of times it doesn't even have to be this fetish. It could be another one, but they're keeping that, you know, very secretive, like they've never told their partner, you know. And listen, it's not like it wasn't an easy sell.

Like, you know, the stuff that you take. told your girl is like the hardest things for most girls to handle, right? I mean, it wasn't just like, oh, you like to see her in panty hose. You know, that's not a hard sell to a girl. Your stuff was like pretty hardcore, right? And you put it all out there. And I think that that's like really great and amazing because you're still super young. You're with your wife. You could finally be like who you are. And you're only going to feel more comfortable about that now within yourself, which is first and foremost, the most, the greatest thing for you. But also in your relationship, I'm sure you feel closer to your wife because she really knows all of you now. You know, you had this little part of you that was like

sort of shoved down, but like sharing that with her must be amazing. Oh, definitely. It's, it's definitely a confidence boost like having her see me and say, wow, you look great. Yeah. As weird as it is for, it's not as weird now because I'm so. And for whatever happened this summer, it's something clicked. But just now I don't feel weird. Why? walking around with nylons on in front of her. Not that I do at all the time, but if I do like. Shame, but there's no shame anymore. And there shouldn't be. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just what you're into and you've been into it since you were before you could even know what it fucking was. You know what I mean? Like so, and so I think that that's like great. So I think your story is super inspiring. You need to send me some picks for Patreon. You know the deal, right? You will get free access to my Patreon for a whole year now for calling in.

I do give any hoser or any cross. You'll get crosschester cheer, which gets all the hoser stuff and all the other tiers, right? So you'll get that top tier because you're also a cross stucer. So you'll have access to all that for free for one year. And I give that to every crosshester or hoser who now calls in because I can do it. And, you know, and why not? So this is what you need to do, though.

You need to, like, cancel your membership and wait until it fully runs out, right? So if you did, like, you know, a month, you have to wait till the end of the month because you're paid up for that month. And then the minute it goes dead and you have no members. that's when you're going to use the link that I'll send you, okay? And I'll send you that link when your episode airs. And then you'll be able to, but, you know, your episode will be up soon. So that'll be very soon.

And then use that link when you're canceling your membership. It only will work when you have zero membership, okay? All right. But it'll give you free access to Cross Desert Tier for 10 years for one year. And then make sure to send me some picks, anonymous picks. I did. I sent you some picks. I don't know.

Oh, maybe I saw them. Did I email you back? Yeah. You emailed me back. Oh, okay. Then I saw it. Which ones were they? remind me uh they were just they're just being addressed and i think there's like four picks okay i mean listen

i get a lot but if i emailed you back and i saw them and said something like that's exactly how i felt you know what i mean i just can't remember right now i literally tape two people a day every day i'm rolling with so much i see so many people's picks you know it really goes to show that i love just hearing people's stories that i don't care so much about who the person is like i'm not digging in deep but like i know if i saw your picks and like them you know i responded back i have them that's good to know all right all right thank you so much for calling it. I love your story. And so many other people are going to love it. And I think

it's going to help people and it's going to be inspiring. So keep going. You know, call me in a year and we'll find out how many guys you fucked and how many threesomes you had with your wife. And maybe she'll call in too. Right. Thanks, Alex. Thanks so much for calling it. Thanks, Kathy. Have a good night. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, same to you. Bye, Alex. Bye. Bye-bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total.

Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17. stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that

kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures

and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly. Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.