Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1311 - Kinks & Fetishes, Shame, Polyamory and More w/ Carrie Morris

Episode Date: December 20, 2025

Sex therapist Carrie Morris called in to discuss kinks and fetishes. shame, polyamory and so much more. Tune in to hear all the details including how she defines herself sexually, why she became a sex therapist, what is the root of shame, are people born with a fetish or are they developed over time, how and why controlling your fetish is important, how fetishes and kinks can help people with through trauma as opposed to making someones trauma worse, how she helps people come to terms with their fetish, purging and why it doesn’t work, why acceptance of your fetish comes first, polyamory and how it works for some people, compersion and jealousy and how they can come together, how and why vaginismus can show up plus a whole lot more. Carrie is a sex therapist for kink folks here GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To see HOT pics ANGELICA plus pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.  Sponsors: ⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2540-anonymous⁠⁠⁠— Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get 10% OFF your first month of Bluechew GOLD! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://motorbunny.com/strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Holiday Sale PLUS $50 off! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://loadboost.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 20% OFF your entire order⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to be on the show, while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out and proud, that's cool too. You could be on the show. Just send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, or just go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on Be on the Show. My book is finally out. It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Eyes of Total Strangers. I pick 17 stories, one of each kind of category that I talk about on my show,

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where everybody could post their own stuff and everybody does. I don't really get involved in my Discord. My Discord is a community of all my listeners and my listeners and my listeners are fucking cool and they're hot. Okay. I'm currently running a boob contest. Your best boob contest. I, like in the first two days that I posted it, there's probably 200 pictures, submissions of women. with their boobs. And they're all like the best. I did a dick pick contest and I'm like, oh my God, my listeners have the biggest dicks I've ever seen. And now with the boobs, I'm like, all of my listeners have the best boobs I've ever seen. So if you want to get into my discord, you could only do that through me. Okay, you can't Google and find my discord. I don't charge for it. It is complimentary access. You get that. If you join my Patreon, you get that and if you buy my book and send me a screenshot, I will throw that in as well. Just email it to me, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail. Now, the last thing I want to tell you about is SDC. I have a free code. They have really great deals in December. So now is the time to sign up to sDC. They're the world's largest online hookup site. You don't just hook up with people in SDC. There is so much information over there on everything having to do with the lifestyle. If you use my code 37712, you're going to get a free trial to check it out. That's sDC.com. Use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. Today I have on Carrie Morris. Carrie Morris is a certified sex therapist. She works out of South Carolina. She's the real deal.

She's really amazing. She specializes in kink, queer, poly and ethical non-monogamy. We talk a little bit about why she got into being a sex therapist. And then we talk a lot about fetishes and shame and all that kind of good stuff. I've been doing a sexual fetish Friday episode for a long time because so I've heard a lot of people call in and talk about a lot of different things. And we talk a lot on this episode about fetishes. and shame and kink and what she sees people for, how she helps them, how shame shows up, what you could do about it, why it's important to go there, and all that kind of good stuff.

I kind of like jump around a lot and ask her a lot of millions of questions, a lot of different questions because I have had so many fetish episodes on my show and people call in with fetishes that I ask her a lot of questions about things that I've heard in my conversations. We also talk a little bit about polyamory. And then, you know, she did want to talk about on this episode how sexual shame can show up physically, like E.D. and P.E. and Vagenismus for women. And I was like, let's say it's like save all that for another episode because I think that those are really important topics. We end with a little bit about all of that as well. She explains about how trauma and shame can show up as vaginismis and women.

She explains what that is as well as P.E. or E.D. In men. We talked, like I said, we only talk about that a little bit at the end. We're going to do a whole episode on it, but the rest of this episode is super interesting, especially if you have a kink or a fetish or feel any kind of shame or living a secret life. You're going to dig her. Her name's Carrie Morris. All her information is in the description, but I'm going to get right tuned to be right back on with Carrie Morris. Hi, Carrie Morris. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm great, Kathy. Yeah. It's a pleasure for me to be here. Yeah, listen, Carrie. You are a certified sex therapist. You did add in there that you're certified through some sort of group.

You're going to have to explain it because I was like, oh, I've never heard of that. Through the what? You said a certified sex. Yeah. So it is ASECT. It's the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. So that means that I've gone through a process to get this designation from them. It's a national organization. And they really focus on sex positivity. You know, they're very king affirming. So all of these. really great values that I hold as a therapist. Right, because you do focus on kink, queer, polyethical, non-monogamy. We're going to be talking a lot about sexual shame, which comes into play with all those things, right? A lot of the times. You do also live in the

South and you're like you're trying to promote getting rid of the shame there. I don't know if it's more there. If you know the stats, you know, where there's the most repression when it comes to sex. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know the exact stacks. But let me tell you, you know, Like here in the South, you know, sometimes when I talk about sex or I talk about pink, you know, some of the faces that I get of folks looking at me are kind of wide-eyed. So I think that, you know, there's a lot of secrecy about sex in the South. And it's hard to talk about these things. I know one of the, how I really learned about sex was, you know, like just kind of in the,

the backs of beauty parlors, you know, where it's like, with. You know, I always think about steel magnolias. That's kind of, you know, one of my favorite movies and, you know, how they're in there and they're just kind of chopping it up. And that's really the only time, you know, I heard women discussing sex or when they are in this space where there's safety. Why did you get into this, though? Like what, you know, because like here you are living in the South. It's not really talked about. Were you Polly or queer or into Kink or like, did you have that background? Are you just super curious? or like why choose being a sex therapist? Yeah, so I identify as omnisexual. And so it took me a little while to get to that particular label. So that means that I am, you know, I'm attracted to just about everyone. You know, it doesn't matter the gender.

The difference between omnisexual and, you know, like pansexual is generally pansexual folks. they just kind of don't see gender and they're just attracted to the person that they are attracted to. I see gender. I really recognize the difference between, you know, like feminine energy, masculine energy, and that's a little bit of the difference with omnisexual. And then when I was in grad school, I really figured out, you know, what the attitudes about sex are generally in the South. you know, I found out, you know, that a lot of the sex therapist in my area were not as sex positive as I am and how I was raised to be. You know, I have a lot of, I have some loved ones that are sex workers.

I have loved ones who are in the adult film industry. And so when I found this out, I thought like, wow, there's not really any place right now for my family to go. to how did your family wind up there considering all these people were in there that you guys were like revolutionary

yeah well you know they moved in New York City oh okay no and so we were just always very open about sex growing up and so yeah

it just it really like kind of grounded my gears a little bit that this this mental health care wasn't available for people

in the upstate of South care Carolina and it was rare in the South. There's definitely more of us now, which is, you know, hallelujah, you know, that there are more kink affirming sex positive therapist in the South. But, you know, I was like, you know, I got to change it. So let's get into this. It's something that I'm really, really passionate about. And yeah, that's kind of how I got there. So I'm assuming because you grew up with all these people in your family that there was never any kind of shame or repression with sex in your world as you grew up.

Like you must have been very open-minded and very different than most of your peers. So, you know, the people in my family that are in those walks of life are my age. And so. Oh, you grew up with them. They weren't your elders. I'm thinking these were your elders. Yes. Yeah.

But, you know, my, you know, like my parents, I remember finding my dad's hustler magazines and his office. And he worked for the state government of Florida. And, you know, he had these hustler magazines in his office. And I just remember, like, looking at them. And there was a curiosity for me. And I just thought I was like, kind of like, what is this? And it wasn't until later when, you know, I kind of started going to these different churches maybe with friends. And I'm like, oh, wait, am I supposed to feel something different? You know, am I supposed to feel like ashamed of seeing these things and being curious about it? And so the idea of sexual shame just like never really computed with me, but I can't say there wasn't any because we all grow up in this, the sexual secrecy.

You know, even if you have really open parents, you know, they're not there the whole way through you figuring out your body and figuring out what partnered sex looks like and all of those things. And so I don't think any of us really grow up with, you know, everything handed to us. Yeah. Also, I think the, like, whenever you're born, what's happening in society at the time plays a big part in it too. You can't help but be influenced by the stereotypes that exist. You know, I mean, I still can't believe how much shame there is in guy and guy action, even in the lifestyle. Okay. It's still very taboo, which is so ridiculous to me and weird. I couldn't believe it when I found this out.

So one of my Patreon recently said, Kathy, why don't you just admit to the fact that you love guy and guy action? You're always promoting it's like, no, I can't stand unfairness. Like, I don't fucking get it. Like, why could girl and girl action be like so accepted? But there's still this weird thing with guy on guy action.

And it's like even in the lifestyle, they got to hide it. Bizarred to me, you know? And it really bothers me. And that's society. It's like they have to keep it on the deal because it's still not as accepted. So how does. sexual shame show up? Is it different for men and women?

Because there could be just felt like, listen, I know we're going to talk about like how it could lead to sexual dysfunction for sure. There's ED, you mentioned vaginismist. But like, even like the subtle things that people come to is that a lot of times revolving around like what someone might be into, whether it's a kink or a fetish or how they sexually identify themselves or, you know, how do you see it show up in your clients and how you typically, why are you typically helping, what are you typically helping them with? Yeah. And so when you ask me that question, the first thing I was thinking about is like, okay, is the root? Like, what is kind of the root of shame? And the root of shame is kind of this, a lot of times the same voice for all of us. Okay. And it is this, this voice,

this part of you that is trying to convince you, you are dirty, you are wrong, you know, like, this is not right. This goes against something, whether that be a dominant discourse of society, whether it be personal beliefs, religion, it doesn't matter. You have that part of you that's really trying to convince you that this part of you is dirty. And so how that shows up, I mean, and that kind of shows up in all genders, then how it shows up in what kind of behaviors of humans is a little bit more gendered. I see a lot of female clients, how this is showing up in more of a generalized way of, like, kind of having to deal with the patriarchy, right? Where it's like, okay, I grew up in a culture, again, especially in the South, you know, where women submit to men or they have these dominant discourses of, okay, I'm in a marriage now because I'm married, I should give.

my husband, you know, sexual satisfaction. And that's what I'm supposed to do. And that kind of shows up in some women that way. It also shows up in men sometimes, you know, when you get into like the kink and fetish world, you know, like, okay, I really love high heels, but I'm not supposed to like high heels or I like to wear women's panties. That's a really big one that holds a lot lot of shame for men. And again, that voice comes up like, oh, you shouldn't be doing this. You know, this is wrong. You're dirty because you're doing this. And it's just, you know, it's really deeply ingrained when they come in. Okay, I got really exciting news. Blue Chew just dropped something new. And it is called Blue Chew Gold. Okay. It includes two ingredients for blood flow that are going to

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Visit Blu.com for more details and important safety information. And I thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. Again, that voice comes up like, oh, you shouldn't be doing this. You know, this is wrong. You're dirty because you're doing this. And it's just, you know, it's really deeply ingrained when they come in. Yeah, it's sad. I do a fetish Friday and I've been doing it for like the past 11, 10, 11 years I've been doing my show. So I have talked to so many people who have fetishes. And we, you know, that always typically comes up because a lot of them are living a secret life and they're not telling you. And I always like to go back to like when they first realized and, you know, and they had to sit with it, you know, as really young kids, not even really understanding what it was, you know, because a lot of times, like, and that's what I want to ask you, too, if you know about, like, fetishes and kinks, like, are you born with them? I don't know, because a lot of times when I'm talking to a guy that has a fetish, they, it happens, like, really early on. And they wind up sitting with it alone for the rest of their life, you know, even when they become married and they're living these double lives. And it's exhausting. It's terrible and it's sad. So I know that, like, so with a fetish, though, do you, the, of, quick question, just is very off topic of shame. Do you believe that you are born with it or it could happen because something happens to you or it can be both? I think it can be both. You know, I've definitely heard stories from my clients where, you know, there are these

moments that they had, you know, where, okay, I put on my grandmother's pearls. My grandmother was my favorite person. and I put on her pearls and her high heels and I danced out into the living room and she clapped for me and she smiled at me and gave me this love and it was so beautiful and you know nourishing for me in that moment and it's like okay well yeah I can get why that became this this thing that you yearned for right to you know like feel that connection with someone else so there could be that you know I think there's been some studies about different types of neural pathways in the brain that could be responsible for some of these pleasure centers. And so I don't, there's definitely not been

enough research. You know, there's never enough research in these types of areas to say one way or the other. I wish there were. And so I think it could be both. And when I have a client who is coming in trying to process through what is happening. One of the first things I asked them is, is it important for you to know the why? Because sometimes it's not. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I like to know the why because I always just like to go by back. It's always interesting. And the whys that I've heard have been both seem to be very both sided. You know, I had a guy who liked diapers. And when you went to the what I figured out was the why is and he knew was that his parents were together and got divorced the minute he got out of diapers.

So the only time he felt secure was when he was wearing diapers. The minute he got out, it was divorce, it was insecurity. And so that gave him that feeling of security. It's so obvious, like, that that was the reason. But then I've talked to a million guys with pantyhose who just, they just remember their first vision of seeing some random legs underneath the table. And there was no praise. There was no nothing.

You know what I mean? But it stuck in their mind that they still remember to this day. how they felt what it looked like, you know. So to me, I'm like, oh, that's like maybe was there always. I don't know. But what, like, with the shame, because we're going to, well, that's what I really want to focus on. I think it's super interesting because with the, even the fetish guy, sometimes it's like, oh,

you know, when we're trying to talk through maybe them telling their partner or something, once in a while I will hear this. And I think it's typical with shame across the board for men and women and people with fetish. Sometimes the whole shameful part of it can, you could like turn that into a turn on, right? Like, and that's where you get fucked. Because they like dressing up because it's a secret and no one knows and it's naughty or someone who's acting out sexually because they do feel shameful, but they've turned it into like a turn on. I don't know if that's like being adaptive and a great thing or a negative thing, but doesn't that certainly happen? Yes, very much so. And it's really about control. Yeah. And so like with people who are submissive, they have control over that area. And so the shame that they feel. And so the shame that they feel.

is consensual. And so I talk a lot about, you know, like, especially in ethical non-monogamy, where, you know, like, you can cheat if you're ethically non-monogamous because of the betrayal piece. There's not this informed consent. So, you know, like the people who are in ethical monogamy are consensually there. They kind of have this negotiated space that they reside in. And if they break those rules, then it's not consensual anymore. So it's not even about the act.

It is about the betrayal. The same thing with, you know, like kinks and fetish. Like, I have some of my clients who they want nothing more, you know, than their partner telling them, like, you're a dirty piece of shit. Like, and they love it. But if they were in, you know, in Target and got into an altercation with someone, so I was like, you're a dirty piece of shit. Like, they'd be like, uh-uh, no, I did not consent. to that. I do not have control over this in the moment. I don't have my safe word. And so it's a different feeling. They're able to get into this space that really pleasures them in their own

control, in their own way. And that's really the beauty of that type of power dynamic. Right. That's in a positive way. But sometimes it can be negative in that you turn your shame into like you wire yourself into it being like a turn on and then you start doing like worse and worse things. I know I've heard those stories. I know I acted out sexually for those reason as a child. I know that you know a lot of times people were like oh when I was having a child and I have my sex podcast they'd be like oh my God what do you do when you have your son? I'm like the only thing I'm going to do to my son is make him like probably the least perverted quote unquote person around because everything is fine for me and I don't fucking care. I grew up with

a priest therapist you know a hot. the priest father and religion and everything. And what you resist persist. So for me, in order to get my parents back, I could be the biggest slut. And it was like, you know, so hot because I was being bad. But it was all, it wasn't coming from the right place, that kind of a thing. Yes, yes, yes. And that's, that is a form of self-harm.

Yeah, exactly. And yeah, so when I think of folks who have trauma, you know, there can be a lot of empowerment and kind of reliving these scenes out in a place of empowerment. right yeah but there are also people who are living out these scenes as a way to punish themselves like they have that sexual shame I was sexually assaulted and so I'm going to put myself kind of in these situations or if I find myself in these situations they might not go out and look for at all but if they find themselves in this situation and it's not pleasurable then they're like oh I maybe deserve this yeah and then it becomes this kind of

it's again that shame going like yeah you are dirty you deserve this and what what i always kind of assess for is how do you feel afterwards you know like you know like what kind of chemicals are flooding through your body is it is it you know like dopamine and you're just like yes and you have that beautiful aftercare or is it yeah i want to go take showers or i'm going to cry and and that's something that definitely can happen in the world of fetish and kink. Yeah, I think when that shame is like sort of directed in the wrong way and you're not in control of it, right? Because there is that thing and I hear it a lot in BDSM and I've heard it talked about because sometimes when I have people on that are a very into BDSM, people would go

off like, oh, that's fucked up. They shouldn't be into that. No one should do that to the partner. It's like, especially if they have trauma. But sometimes that is their way of working through it. And if you're doing it consensually and coming from the right place with the right. Head said, that can be very healing, correct? Yes, very much so. You know, I think about consensual non-consent. Yeah. And I think about some of my clients who have a history of sexual assault.

And they come into my office and they're telling me, like, I'm watching this pornography, you know, I'm watching this consensual non-consent stuff. You know, I don't understand it, but I really like it. And then I feel shame because I like it. And again, I assess like, well, how do you feel afterwards? They're like, well, it feels good. But then it's like later when I'm out of that space, it kind of comes back and like, oh, man, what are you doing? Yeah.

And so then you have to kind of ask, like, well, is this something that you want to look into? You know, is this something that you want to explore? Is this a place that could be a spot of empowerment for you? And they know, like clients know, yes, I want to explore this space or, no, I really feel like I want to try to do an elimination of this. And I 100% follow the goals of the client. And, you know, with consensual non-consent being in that space and being able to control what is happening to you when you've had even a lifetime of sexual experience, where you were out of control, you know, like it can be so powerful. One of the things I tell clients is, you know, like one of the greatest acts of taking control

is to give yourself permission to lose control. Which is hard to do, especially if you have trauma. I mean, come on. Yes. Yes. And so, you know, like working through that and then getting to a place where they say like, okay, I am ready to maybe try this. and having a partner, of course, that knows what's up, knows the trigger plan that's put in place with the sex therapist or the therapist who is able to do check-ins who, you know, agrees to a safe word.

It can be such a healing and positive experience for trauma survivors. Yeah, for sure. I know. I used to get really weird comments about people being very judgy and they just don't really understand it. But somebody like you can and does, and that's the kind of people you see. right they bring certain like these kinds of things to you and what about the guys that are coming do you like you deal like you know because you deal with guys that are into half fetishes and like I said I talk to them a lot and I'm assuming there's a lot of shame in with them right is that the reason why a lot of them are living a secret life do they come to you to try and like sort of get through that I mean how do you deal with somebody who has a fetish and doesn't feel okay about it yeah you know I first I ask what are your goals you know like and then I kind of a assess how is this, especially fetishes, right? Because fetishes are stronger, like fetishes,

like, I need to have this to feel sexually aroused. You know, one of the things I ask them is, do you feel like this fetish is affecting your functioning in any way? You know, is it, you know, like you're not going to work because you want to stay home and kind of interact with this fetish? And a lot of times, no, you know, sometimes when you get couples in and one of them has a fetish, that can affect the functioning of the couple system. And so then it's like, all right, you know, like as a therapist, I'm like, well, what am I going to do here? You know, am I going to, you know, work with the, you know, the other partner's acceptance?

Sure. Yes. Am I going to work on partners A, partner A's like shame? Yes, and acceptance of themselves. But also, you know, like, is the fetish sustainable? Because some of them aren't, you know, like hair cutting comes to mind. you know, at some point your partner's going to run out of hair. I've never heard that one.

I've heard some real crazy ones recently. I don't even want to bring love because they're going to be surprise episodes, but I never heard him hair cutting one. Yeah. Or, you know, like people who have, you know, like some, some like sadomasochism things. Yeah. Extreme. Yeah.

Ball crushing for one. Oh, yeah. I had a woman on who liked to kick balls. She was actually the most happiest, funniest. She only did it to her husband and he loved it. It was the weirdest thing to me, but she was like a ray of sunshine. And so that was all good. It worked for them.

But I could see that being a problem for other people. Or even taking that a step further. Actually, like, some people want their balls to be crushed. And so that is a permanent thing. You know, so like we have to be like, okay, so how can we figure out maybe how to incorporate other ways to kind of. of decrease the power this fetish has on you, but not diminishing the, the specialness of the fetish, you know, and not saying, like, you should not have this fetish.

Well, because that's not realistic. Sorry. It's just not going to happen. I know I've heard of couples who go to a therapist, and the therapist straight up tells them, like, because they go away, you've got to figure it out, but they go home and they burn all the clothes. And they're like, we're just going to sweep this under the rug. And it's like, you're living in fantasy land. That fetters is not going to go away. It just, it's not. Yes. Yes.

And that becomes this vicious cycle that's also really shame producing because they do this huge, like, elimination of everything. And they make these huge goals on themselves, like, all right, I'm going to burn all of my, you know, like sex toys or I'm going to burn all of my pornography. Cross dressers purge constantly. Yes. They're purging constantly. Yeah, and so then they put these big, huge goals on their stuff. Like, I am never going to look at another lacy thing again. Yeah.

And then they do, you know, like, because it calls to them. And so then they have these urges. And then they're like, oh, no, I told myself I was never going to look at these lacy things again. But then they find themselves like getting back into it little by little. And there's so much shame in that because it's another layer of weight. I told myself I was going to stop. And so when it becomes this really like shame weighted thing, then it becomes sometimes bigger than what it could be. Hey everyone, you know what I got to say about New Year's resolutions?

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Yeah. And so that makes a lot of sense. And so when you have this person who was really deep within this shame about this fetish, then that's sometimes like all they can think about because it's secret. And so how do we try to take the shame away from that fetish? So, you know, like, it's just normalized. Like, oh, yeah, I really love latex. Or, oh, yeah, I really love, like, what is one I can think of. Like, blood play is another one that I hear a lot of judgment on, you know? And so, like, I really want to do this. Well, let's normalize it because when you take a lot of that shame out of it, it loses its power in a negative way. It can be really replenishing in a positive way. For sure. I mean, listen, I can't tell you how many emails, probably at this point,

it's thousands that I've got from people who have found my show, my Fetish Friday shows, and tell me, like, oh, thank God for your show. Like, I mean, I feel less alone. And that is one of the great things about the internet, right? It really, I mean, I remember the, I don't know how old you are, but, you know, I lived in the days where there were, like, encyclopedias, and that's it. Okay. So you didn't, You just thought you were so special and unique and different and there was no one else like you. And then the internet comms makes you realize there's plenty of people like you. And that's the good news for people that are into fetishes and stuff because you could just go online now and they can find forums and they can find other people who are like-minded. And knowing that and like you said, like normalizing it or them feeling more normal or that there's other people like them really goes a long way.

But there still is a lot of work to do. I mean, I do believe and I've seen it in some people because I see people at all different stuff. stages of this story, right? Some people who are on the other side left their partner, told their partner came to grips, you know, and I always feel like a lot of times, like, the first step should be what you were talking about before, which is like getting to the point where the person who has a fetish is okay with it themselves. Because I do believe, like, how you, how much you can accept it in yourself is like how much the person across from you is going to be able to. Like, that's what you find. You know what I mean? Like, if you feel

really bad about yourself or terrible, like, you sit across from people that feel the same way, because that's what you project. You know, and I think the first step is always to feel okay about it first in yourself, and then you'll see that reflected back. Because a lot of times if you, and I feel like if you put that on your partner before you're clear or whatever, there's more of a friction, whereas the people that I see that have gotten to a place where they're really okay about it, they finally put on the table, their partner's okay about it too.

And I'm like, I think it's because you were. You know what I mean? You finally got to the place where you were clear about it. And at that point, if your partner's not okay with it, then maybe find somebody else. And I've heard that story too. Yes. Yeah. And it goes back to the secrecy of it, right?

Like a lot of my partners that come in and like one partner has just found out, you know, that their husband or wife has this fetish and they've been hiding it. You know, a lot of it is like, why have you been hiding this from me? Of course. And yeah, you know, and like I want to know. And I've had clients in my office who say things like, I want to know. Like, if you're watching porn, like, tell me what you're watching, you know, like, I want to see into your world. I want to know who you are.

Isn't that true intimacy? Oh, yes. Talk about a shame buster. No, like, you know, that's what we all want is for somebody to see us, you know, all of our, you know, bits and pieces, you know, and say, like, I love you anyway. And so, like, a lot of times it's not the actual fetish. It's the secrecy of it. that causes problems. I had a wonderful woman on my show who actually caught her husband crossdressing and because

he was not at the place that he was okay with it yet. I mean, she was totally fine with it and he was still being secretive and he couldn't face her and he couldn't come clean and she kept finding more and more stuff and she was fine with everything, but he had to get to the place where he was okay with it before they could start to play and she was like ready, willing and able and they eventually got to that place. but his shame was so deeply ingrained that even his partner was, you know, totally accepting. He couldn't accept it within himself. So I don't think it's just about your partner has to be within you.

Yes, 100%. Yes. And trying to expel that voice, that shame voice of, you know, you are wrong and you are dirty because you like this. And then it can just be all, you know, after that it can just be all fun and games from there. You know, the sky's the limit on, you know, what to explore. and how couples want to explore these things. Yeah, listen, like I said, I get emails from people who have been on my show. Thank you, thank you so much for letting me talk. This was the first time I said out loud.

So I can't imagine how great. And I'm very pro-therapy. I've had therapists in my life that have changed my life at the times that I was with them. You know, I love therapy. I believe in it. I'm always recommending it to people. And I feel like, you know, like, listen, you feel that way talking to me one time. Like, imagine you could do this like on a weekly basis, 45 minutes, right, with somebody

and really talk it out and like that like can really help like I just feel like it's so great that there are therapists like you out there that people could come to because it's like they feel so good just talking to me for one time but I can imagine over time how much better someone can feel when they continue that conversation. Yeah clients come in sometimes and you know like I kind of I generally you know kind of assess what they're there for at the beginning and they may tell me like oh well I really like this thing and I want to process through it. So I don't press, you know. I'm like, all right, let's come in.

And then it might be a couple sessions before I get the thing. Yeah. And, you know, like, I am still waiting to be shocked. So I'll give you a shocking one. I have a guy who sent me, he said, I'm very, I'm a fetish for puffer jackets. I'm like, is this a joke? He's like, no, it's serious. Like, send me pictures. He sent me pictures, videos.

He's tied up with 18 puffer jackets on. He sent me. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. I think, I mean, shock you. No, no, because I think about like marshmallow fetishes or like pillow fetishes, you know, or like, or even like cake, like cake squishing, you know, like, it's that sensory feeling. Like, like, I think about puffer jackets and, yeah, you just want to like poke them, you know. I mean, the difference between me and you is like, I can have that guy on my shoulder and I get to laugh at him and be like, oh my God, I can't believe it's crazy.

Like, you can't really, you know, you have to be a little, you have to act differently. but like that's, you know, I can have a little bit more fun with it. But I do, but I do try. I am very non-judgmental, you know, and I think. But I think the thing with me and why I probably get the truth out a little bit sooner is people don't see me. I'm anonymous. They're making up a fake name.

I don't see them, you know. So your people are sitting right in front of you, right? Typically. Or on Zun. So, you know, I could see why it might take them a little bit longer to really let it all out. Yeah. And so, you know, my goal is, is to do what. ever I need to do to make them feel comfortable.

Exactly, yeah. You know, like, you know, my office is dimly lit. You know, I'm a cave dweller in life, you know, the lamps. And, you know, I have different art on the walls. And, you know, I have like a 3D printed penis and vulva. Oh, that's good. I have a coffee table with a glass top. And in the coffee table, I have a leather collar and a leather, like a, oh, my.

gosh, I can't think of the word, like a strap, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like that you can whip people with. And so, like, when they come in and they sit down and they're looking in my office, they're probably going, okay, they're either going, okay, this chick's kind of weird, or they're going like, oh, wait. No, she's on the same page. I don't think they're thinking weird because they're there for the same reason.

They're open-minded and they're a little bit more out of the box. So I think that that helps actually, you know. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know if you get this, but I feel like a lot of times, Because I have a very big male audience. Most people who are coming to me with fetishes happen to be male. I know women have fetishes too, but it's more men. We could talk about those stats in a second.

But I do think there's something about a woman being accepting of like what they're putting down. That could be really great. You know what I mean? Because typically women, that's who they fear the most judgment from if they're heterosexual. So I always feel like, oh, not only like they love that I'm non-judgmental, but I think because I'm a chick and I'm not like, oh my God, you like panties and you wear it and I'm cool with them. And, you know, that, that makes them feel really great. Yeah, I think so too. And, you know, especially I feel like I bring, I feel like I'm kind of like you. I like to bring a lot of humor into session. You know, like,

I am, I believe that sex should be joy. You know, I think sex should be adult play. And so, like, really trying to, you know, of course I talk about hard things and it gets deep and it gets, you know, in the nitty gritty of emotions and things like that. But at the end of the day, my goal for you is to feel joy in this space. And so I try my best to, you know, like, give that energy to them of like, not only am I going to be accepting, but, you know, we're going to find a way to bring joy into your sex life. Yeah. It's a little different than a regular therapist because it is, and goal is for them to be more. okay, this is about sex. So ultimately

you're leading them to like better sex. You know, yeah. Yes. Yeah. And let's generalize. You know, of course I have clients that we are working through things. And, you know, some of my clients come to me not because they want to work on a fetish or work on a kink, but they already have integrated these things into their life. You know, they are in a 24-7-dom sub-relationship.

Or they, you know, do cross-stress or or these different types of things. And they're like, man, I want to work on some anxiety and depression I'm feeling, but I don't want to go to a therapist who, you know, is, you know, not aware or not affirming of the way I live my life. So I'm going to go to, you know, like my group practice that I know that the people there are going to be affirming of this. And so they can just kind of like off the cuff tell me things.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And so I'm not going to like look at them funny, you know, or if they are like, oh, man, You know, my partner gave me the best spanking ever this weekend, you know, like we had the best scene and we did this and we finally intercorporated this and I'm not going to be like, what, you know, or wow, maybe we need to talk about that because that's not what they're there for. And it could be included, you know, in what they're talking about, but they just want to know

they're in a safe space. Yeah, that makes sense. Like it could just be someone that's dealing with regular stuff that they would go to a therapist for, but their regular life is going to come into play and they don't want to feel bound to, like, keeping secrets. Because I have talked to people, because I'm always, like, when I'm talking to people are living a double life or whatever, I'll ask if they're in therapy. And when they, sometimes when they are, I'll ask, like, have you told your therapist?

And a lot of times, like, they haven't yet. You know what I mean? And you really need to be honest. But they say, like, I don't think that this therapist would really understand it because they're just going to a regular therapist, you know? So, and I think it's, like, really important that there are real, sex therapist out there that specialize in this. And, you know, do you deal with a lot?

Polly, to me sometimes gives me a fucking headache, okay, because I'm like, when I talk the people on Polly, and I think maybe I figured it out, I talked to a girl recently, and I was like, why the fuck are you even Polly? Because she was, like, talking about how she's jealous and he's jealous, but they're going to be Polly. Then I realized, like, I think she's just like really highly intelligent and would be bored with a regular

relationship and all of this stuff just makes it more interesting to her or something. I don't know. I think she even, we both came to that conclusion, but I just feel like, when you're, dealing with people that are poly, are they coming to because they're having issues with it and they want to work through it? Because sometimes I'm kind of like, why bother? Yeah. I mean, that sounds terrible for me to say. No, no, it's okay. And I think that, you know, there are people who are absolutely polyamorous. This is like who they are at their core. And so just like, I do not understand straight people at all.

I love that. Yeah. I'm like, I don't understand. I mean, I do, but like, logically I do, of course. But like, when I think about like, why wouldn't you be attracted to all the time? You know? And so I don't understand how that brain process works because I'm not in that brain process. Just like a lot of straight people can't understand how, you know, like I'm attracted to everyone.

Yeah. But it's the, I think it's the same with Polly. I have talked to people in Polly. relationships before and they talk about like I literally do not understand how monogamy works. I literally don't understand how I'm supposed to just love one person. And one of the things I hear a lot from poly people is like I love all of my children equally. Why can't I love all of my partners equally? Yeah. And so yeah. And so I think there are people who are just just identify as Polly. That's just who they are. That's who they've always been. And then you have people probably like you're a person who is like, I'm doing Polly for like maybe this reason. And so when maybe a monogamous couple comes in and they want to explore polyamory, I generally take that label off of it. And I'm like, all right, we're not going to put non-monogamy. We're not going to put polyamory on it. We're going to start at the absolute base. And we're going to say, okay.

what do you want out of this relationship? What do you want out of having multiple relationships? Right. And then, okay, for you, what do you want out of this? Like, what are your boundaries? And we really start at the bottom. And so we build this system to where they're not trying to base it on the textbook definition of polyamory. They are basing it on what they want out of their relationship.

I like that because that changes the whole. sort of situation. I know for me when I have talked to the very successful Polly people, the people who are like what you said than people who are just naturally burned that way. It's a beautiful thing. And I'm like, you're just more evolved than I am. And it's like amazing how open you are to love all these people. And it completely works. I've just talked to so many people where they've tried it or they're in the middle of it. And it's like gives me a headache just listening to it. And I'm like, I don't understand why you're putting yourself through this torture. Yeah. And you know, I think that, you know, like it is possible for, you know, people to kind of get into that space and to become

polyamorous or to open themselves up to other relationships. It's definitely challenging. And the thing that I'm looking for is how to, you know, increase compersion, which is I feel happy when I see my partner happy. Right. And, and the opposite of compersion is, is jealousy, right? Like, I'm seeing my partner happy and I'm feeling resentment because, you know, maybe I'm feeling resentment to the other person who's getting my partner's happiness. I am resentful to my partner because they're getting happiness from somewhere else. And so then we kind of, again, backtrack and say, like, all right, where are these feelings

coming from? Where is this jealousy coming from? And at the end of the day, it's really like, is this what you want in your relationships? Right. And you got to figure that out on your own. You know, like you have to really do some self-reflection and say like, all right, what do I want? And if it's, if it's I want to be Polly, I want to have other relationships, but I am dealing with a lot of this jealousy. It's like, all right, we have a target. You know, we can work on that. But if at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, my partner is Polly or wants to be Polly. And they, have made the decision that that's what they absolutely need in their life to be happy, that I am monogamous, we kind of know what's going to happen, you know? So it can be a really difficult process. Yeah, no, I, you know, I'm going all over the place, and I'm so far from shame, but you just brought up like jealousy and compersion because I remember learning, I learned a lot of

things by talking to all these people on my show and I remember like having this girl on, where it was somebody who had like taken their jealousy from the past and from a cheating scenario that happened to them and they turned it into like a turn on, you know? And then after like that person talked about it, a lot of other people did. And I was like, oh my God, that's so actually smart. That's another situation where you're taking something that you weren't in control of it. It's just a feeling, right? Like jealousy is a feeling. And if you could turn it into, you know, take that same feeling that you get and turn it into a turn on. I'm like, how fucking brilliant is that? I'm like, I'm never going to be jealous in my life again. I had a cheating scenario when I was

younger. That was really bad. I remember like fucking him right after because I just wanted to get him back. That was like the reclaiming. You know what I mean? Yeah, the reclaiming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then after talking all these people, I'm like, oh, now I'm like a little bit of a cook queen. And I think it's because like I've, that jealousy thing that I had after that relationship, now I realize I could turn it into something else and it's a fucking turn on. And that's a real thing that could happen.

Yes. And so it, and so a lot of times it's, it's, I want to feel jealous. I want to have these feelings. But I want to feel this way. And I want to feel this way. And I want to feel secure that my partner is not going to leave me. And so it's like, that's where that really, like, powerful reclaiming comes in. It's like, oh, my gosh, this situation has left me abandoned before. And so when they're able to feel that feeling and then they're able to reclaim that partner, that can be really powerful. Like, talk about healing, right? Because we all want to be securely attached. And so, you know, it can be that. It can just be just, I don't. get off on straight, you know, humiliation, right? Like, I, yeah, yeah, I just really like that feeling. I

feel it and then I feel really replenished afterwards. And it's like, yeah, you know, girl, go for it. You know, like if that's what brings you pleasure, then stay there. You know, you don't have to change it at all unless it, you know, is, of course, that self-harming piece. But if it's not, like, you are two, three, four, however many consenting adults in the room being in this space together. Like, it doesn't matter as long as it's consensual and, you know. Yeah, I had Dr. David Lay on. Do you know him? He wrote that book, Insatiable Wives.

He's like a sex therapist. He's, you know, he's fucking great. And he was saying that, like, you know, when he studied it and he wrote that book. And he wrote that, like, way before it's because nowadays people talk about a lot more hot wiping and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, I talked about how there's like many different reasons why people do it. It's not just one reason, right? Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. And so you kind of have a difference. know, there are like, you know, like cuck holds and then cut queens. But then you also have like that stag vixen dynamic where it's like, we're both hot, you know? Yeah. And it's this, it is this like egalitarian system where, you know, like they are doing this for just the feeling that they are trying to inspire in others or the feeling that they are trying to inspire in themselves is

completely different, even though the behavior is the same. Yeah, no, totally. And now, like I said, I'm going all over the place. I just wanted to make sure that we just touched a little bit upon. Now we don't have that long to get into it. But I did think it was interesting. You talked about how sexual dysfunction could show physically, right? Like ED or like vaginismus, which I just learned a lot about because there's some virgin show on TV right now. We're a girl.

A hot girl has vaginismiss. And so she's virgin. You know, these are things that could show up because of shame, right? Or just like trauma. Yes, yes. Vaginismus is becoming, you know, I think one of, you know, one of my big niches because I am, you know, I'm not going to say slowly come to the conclusion. I have come to the conclusion that it is a silent epidemic. Oh, wow. We should do a whole episode on it. But anyway, go on. Yeah, no, no, let's talk a little bit about it here, but do a whole episode on it because I think it's important. But go on. Yeah. So vaginismis is, it generally happens, or dysperinia, which is kind of an overall arching, uh, uh, uh, uh,

thing that is like any pelvic pain, right? Vaginismus is this evolutionary thing that vulva owners can do. And it's when at some point in their life, they have learned that penetration is bad, whether through trauma, whether through culture, whether through religion, anything can give them this idea that, oh gosh, penetration is somehow going to lead to my destruction. And so they're bought. bodies learn to clamp down when they're being penetrated. And so like partners describe it as like I'm trying to enter and it's like a brick wall. Wow. And like think about the power of the human body to create that reaction in those vaginal muscles.

And, you know, shame can definitely lead to that. Yeah. Like I said, we need to do a whole episode on that. don't you think? Because there's probably so much you could talk about and where that comes from. And same with ED because that can also, like for a man, that could show up not for like physical reasons, but like a mind-body kind of thing as well. Like what kind of things could lead to ED in a man?

Same kind of thing like shame. Shame, you know, shame any sort of dominant discourse of like they were in the locker room and they are, you know, a grower, not a shower. And they got this dominant discourse that, you know, they are small. They're not. They're normal. Or, you know, it's just some sort of little pebble of a negative message that got in there and it snowballed into this anxiety that just cripples them. And so there's all of this stress going into a sexual situation or, you know, even with premature ejaculation. It's like, I'm so excited that I'm here, you know, like, and I need to just, you know, release.

And so there's a lot of different things that can happen from shame. Because shame is pretty much anxiety and stress. They're kind of all, they're all like brothers and sisters in this group of emotions. And those are what causes sexual dysfunction. And then my sex therapy supervisor, Dr. Tom Murray, he called it penal disappointment. So I tend to use that in session because, you know, sexual dysfunction. It's like, there's nothing wrong. with you.

Right. I like that. Yeah, reframing it in a better way. Yeah, there's, yeah, there's nothing wrong with you. Of course,

I make sure, you know, they've gone to the doctor. But even with women, you know, like, women have gone to the gynecologist. They've said like,

hey, sometimes sex hurts. And gynecologists sometimes are like, well, yeah, sometimes it does. Oh, God. Yeah.

You know, they just know how to have babies. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're saying, this is like a, this is something that you would be able to help them with. Like, this is something that you start

in fixing their patterns and their thoughts and all that kind of stuff because it might be presenting physically, but it's coming from another place. Yeah, it's coming from their amygdala, you know, which is our fight, flight, flight, no, goodness, fight, fright, freeze, or fawn, fight flight freeze or fawn, man, when we get that out. It's a tongue twister. It comes from that response. So if you think about, all right, my body is doing something that's out of my control. There's a non-concord. I'm with my partner. I trust them.

I love them, but my body is shutting down. So there's a part that's coming from my amygdala that is controlling these muscles. And so I do a lot of parts work, you know, like, all right, this part of you that is clamping you down. What is it afraid of? Let's figure out who it is. Let's figure out what it needs to feel safe. And try to either be teammates with it, you know, and figure out what that looks like. or take control a lot of times with men and women and sexual dysfunction,

one of the questions I ask is, who owns your genitals? Interesting. And, you know, when I ask that question, like, sometimes they look at me and they're like, and they'll say, like, well, I do. And I'm like, no, think about it. Like, who owns your genitals? What comes up? And sometimes it's like, yes, I do.

But sometimes they're like, I don't know, it doesn't even feel like a part of my body anymore. You know, or oh man, the image that came up was this particular person who, you know, like, was my perpetrator. And so trying to reclaim that in whatever way is good for them. Yeah, well, that's the next episode we could do if you don't mind coming back on, one all about vaginismus and maybe we would do the stuff for the guy in the same episode, right? Those two, the way it presents physically for men and for women because I think we could get super into that. I took you all over the place. This was a lot about fetishes and stuff, which I like, though, because I have a big audience that have fetishes and everything. And that's why I feel like this one, we could do a whole other topic.

I don't want to make you to stay too much. And that's it, because I feel like I have a million questions for that, too. So why don't you give a shout out to people where they could find you and your website? You're down in the south if people want to see you. You will be back on. Thank you so much for calling in. But let people know how they can find you, your website, all that kind of good stuff. And I'll put the links in the description.

So my website for my practice is Burkana Collective. So it's B-E-R-K-A-N-A-C-Lective.com. And then we have Instagram. It's just Burkana Collective. They can find my Instagram. We're a little bit more, you know, I do a little bit more on the Burkana Collective Instagram, but mine is Carrie, C-A-R-R-I-E at Burkana. there's a underscore Carrie underscore Apricana.

But those are the best places to find us. Okay. Okay. And you're in South Carolina, right? Yes. Yes. I'm in Greer, South Carolina. So I myself have only licensed in South Carolina.

I have other clinicians in my group that are licensed in different states. Oh, that's good to know. And all your people are all sex therapists. And like you said, in your group practice, they know that they're going to find people who are just like you. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Awesome.

Okay. Listen. Thank you, Carrie. Thank you so much for calling in. Let's definitely get something on the books. Anytime you want to call in and you do that other episode, we'll do it. And I'll air it also on a sexual health salaries because I think it's a really important thing to talk about because, like you said, it is a silent epidemic.

It's not talked about that much. And some people, like a lot of people still don't know what it is, but probably a lot of people suffer from it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. All right. Great. Thanks, Carrie. Thanks so much for calling in. All right.

Well, you have a great day. It was awesome talking to you. Awesome. Thanks, thanks, Carrie. Thanks so much. All right. All right, bye-bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly

Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story.

There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica.

I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? but these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay.

I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Did you come here looking to hear some? some super hot stories. Well, then I know where you can tune in and read a ton more hot stories, and that is in my book. Strictly not as Confession, Secret, Sex Lives of Total Strangers. It's finally out. It's available.

Anywhere where you buy books, the links will be in the description. The book contains 17 stories, sort of like the best of from every category I have on my show. there's a hot wife, there's a cock, there's a bull, there's a bunch of swingers, there's a gang-bang girl, there's a gilf porn star, there's a girl that fucked her best friend's mom from high school. All those stories are in the book and they're all true. Think Penhouse Forum meets my show. That's the vibe of the book. It's available anywhere where you find books.

The link is in the description and for this week only, I am giving anyone who buys my book complimentary access to my private Discord, which is super fun. It's a not safe for work site. It's a place where people get to post their own picks and videos. People are hooking up over there. We have naughty contests. It's super fun. The only way you get in is through me. If you purchase the book, send me a pick of your screenshot. Email it to me at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, and I'll send you a private link to my Discord. So if you want to buy the book, just go to the description and click on the link.