Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1329 - Samia is Poly & has a Husband and Another Guy She’s Totally in Love With

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Samia is a queer and poly and has a husband and another guy she’s in love with and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including when she realized she was queer and why she is more shy with women then men, the first girl she hooked up with and what went dow with her, the first time she found herself in love with two guys at the same time and realized she was poly, when she started going to sex parties ad why she didn’t really dig them, the monogamous relationship she tried to have and why it didn’t work for her, how and why she decided she was non monogamous, her first poly relationship she had and how it was set up, the one guy she met and fell in love with and what’s going on between them now, how she met her husband and the problems they are having,  the amount of other people (comets)  she’s hooking up with currently and what goes down with them plus a whole lot more. Her podcast is called ClosetEd and you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. You can check out her podcast here: ClosetEd GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To see HOT pics SAMIA plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.   Sponsors: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off DRIVE Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 20% OFF your entire order⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2540-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠— Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get 10% OFF your first month of Bluechew GOLD! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://motorbunny.com/strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Click to get $50 off! Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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or just go to the description and click on the link. Okay, today I'm talking to Samia Mounce. Samia Mounce has a killer new podcast. It's called Closet Ed. She talks to people about their sex lives too. Like she gets people to confess to her. She's one of those people that's always been doing that all her life. So she started this show.

And I was like, oh, you should come on my show and we'll promote your podcast. And then I was assuming she had, like, lived an alternative life. And she definitely does. Okay, like, so I'm like, you need to come on. I'll give a shout out to your podcast. And then we'll get your life story. She's queer.

She's Polly. She's slutty. That's how she introduced herself. And then we get the whole story. She knew very early on she was queer. And then she talks about her early experiences with men and women. And then we get into her Polly life. And that's where to me gets a little confusing because she eventually has a husband.

And it doesn't sound like he's on board. And she can't really talk about it. But she has this other guy, Daniel, love of her life. She shares him. I mean, she's very open. She is somebody that is truly Polly. truly open, very non-monogamous, and very clear about that with everybody in her life. She's been out and proud about everything for a very long time.

And she talks about it all. Like I said, there is a husband somewhere. And that's when it gets a little confusing because there's a husband and the guy Daniel that she really dags. And she talks about all the guys. And there's a lot of other guys too. And she talks about all of it. It's a super interesting episode.

She has a super interesting story. So I'm going to get right to it. And a super interesting podcast, I'm going to put the link in the description. But anyway, I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Samia Mounce. Hi, Samia Mounce, right? It's with an S, right? Hello, Kathy. Kay.

Yes, it's mounts like she mounts the horse. So my name is literally a complete and accurate sentence. I'm hoping that you're mounting a lot of guys too and women. Like, I don't know your story, but I feel like you do live a very alternative life. But before we get to your whole life story, because that's what we're going to do on my show right now. I do want to let people know that you do have your own show and you're doing like kind of like what I do. Yours is more produced. I have to say it sounds like a real like a show you'd see on the TV, right?

Like I mean, you really put a lot of work into it. But you're doing something very similar in that. You're getting people's life stories as well when it comes to SEX, right? I mean, that is what you're doing. I'm going to get your life story today. I will be going on your podcast to talk about my book, right? I'll be on that. Yes, I can't wait.

You do have your own show. when it's called closet ed. But it's one word, right? Closited. Yeah, it's spelled like closeted, but I pronounce it closet ed because the whole premise is that we are educating people

about how big the closet really is. And you know all about this. Yes, but I got to say what I kind of like about your title and I don't know if you, this wasn't on purpose, but I thought it was closet ed. Like they're all,

these people are in the closet because they're telling you their secret lives. So it's almost like it's like a double. But I see what you're saying, right? Like you're educating people. Ed is like educating. I thought it was like closet ed. Like these people are closeted and like whatever.

But like now I get it. But it kind of has like two meetings. It could be the other thing. Yeah. Totally. It has two meetings. Yeah. Closeted and closet ed.

Yeah. And I don't mind how people pronounce it. Everything's a conversation. And I love that even the title of the show is a conversation starter. It's good. It's good. And I got to tell you to people driving. I will put you don't have to remember the name because I'm going to put a

great in the description. Okay. To her show or your website, whatever you want me to do, it's going to be there so that you guys could find her show in here. More, more naughty people's lives.

More, it's not naughty people's lives. I can't even fucking talk. More secret lives of naughty people, right? That's what you're doing. Right? You're talking to people about their sex lives and all that kind of good stuff over there?

Yes. It's all about people who look very conventional on the outside. Like if you knew them in real life, you would just never imagine that anything other than, then vanilla stuff is going on behind closed doors. But then in reality, all the things are going on behind closed doors. And it's so surprising. It's so delicious. And it's everywhere. I've been

super loud and proud about being, you know, queer and polyamorous and kind of, you know, proudly slutty for a long time. And because I'm so loud about how slutty I am, people know intuitively that I won't judge them if they share their secrets with me. So the whole idea for this podcast came from so many people just spilling all their guts to me, like on first meetings, like random people. And I ended up developing this perspective on the world like, oh my God, none of you are what you seem. All of you want freaky shit. And I want to know all about it. And I also want to expose the world to these private conversations. I want everybody to hear what will come out when people feel safe from judgment to tell the truth.

because everyone's got a story. And even if you're not doing stuff, you want to do stuff. And besides your story, I just wrote down, like, you know, you're queer, your Polly and you're slutty, and that's what we're going to be talking about because, like I said, I am going to get your life story. But, I mean, like, what do you do with your voice? You've got a killer voice. I'm just like, I run on I first talk to him.

I'm like, maybe you should do the voiceover for my book. It's so good. Are you also an actor or something on the side? Because you got a great voice. I am primarily an actor. Yeah. And I've made the bulk of my income over the course. of my career as a voice actor.

So that's, that's, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Yeah, it's fantastic. And you do got a killer show. I listened to some of that. I was just like, oh my God, this is very like, it's just really great the way you put it all together. Okay, but let's get your life story.

You said you're queer, you're poly, you're slutty. I got to be honest. Like when people say they're a poly, I get a fucking headache a lot of times. It's very rare that I hear a poly person that is able to explain their poly life to me without it sounding so complicated. But it exists. I love that it does. Oh, it does. You know, and when it does go the right way, I do believe I'm talking to somebody who's very highly evolved, more evolved than me. I don't think I could ever

handle a Polly relationship. But I mean, I know, you know, you sound young, you look young. How old are you now if you don't mind me asking? I love you so much for saying that I look young. I'm 42. Oh, okay, but you sound younger. Okay. Let me ask you this. So like, okay, you say you're queer, you're Polly, you're slutty. Like, where do we start, you know, do we go all the way back. Like, when did you know you were queer, by the way? I knew I was queer from a very young age. So I was, okay, I was eight years old when I was roping my little girlfriends into playing sexually charged games with me. And at the time, I didn't know what that meant. And there was it was pretty innocent. It was like role-playing games, but like designed to create sexual tension. And

without any actual touching, but I did have a few girlfriends that we practice kissing on each other. And I loved that. And I was always really into both male and female bodies. So by the time I was 14, I had publicly come out as bisexual to my friends. And then I put a secret page on my, like, poetry website online because I was 14 in Gothic and, like, needed to have a poetry website, where I came out to the world and my parents found it. So I had to come out to my parents and it was like a whole thing. So the queerness, yeah, was from super early on. I was just always really attracted and turned on by all sorts of different kinds of bodies and people.

And I would have wild crushes on boys and girls all throughout childhood and adolescence. But I was also just shire with girls. I still am. I think, well, I talk about this a lot. And it's a common thing with my bisexual female friends. Like, there are so many easy to fall back on scripts when you're dealing with heterosexual relationships. But with same-sex relationships, like, nobody knows what role to play.

Everyone's so afraid of making somebody else uncomfortable. And so no one makes the first move. It's like, bi-girlly shyness is real. Oh, interesting. Okay. I'm trying to. Who did you lose your virginity to first, a girl or a guy? It was a guy and I'm really glad you asked this because, so I was 17 my freshman year of college.

I was a year ahead. So nobody, none of the guys I was interested in would touch me because I was like technically jailbait until I found a guy who like was just super into me and like willing to say he loved me. And I was just waiting for somebody to say they loved me to lose my virginity because I just so badly wanted to have sex. And you just thought that you had to be in love, quote unquote. You didn't care if you were really in love, you just needed them to say it, so you got permission. Looking back, that is absolutely the case. At the time, I felt very sincere about it, but the reality is, I was like, I want to have sex, and I can't do it unless someone says they love me.

But once I have that sex, then I can slut out. And that is what happened. I just went on a spree. What kind of spree? Like, when did you start, like, did you start doing three sons? Did you start hooking up with women? I love that you asked that. We got into threesomes much later, but that first,

The first few years of my sexual, you know, debut, I guess, it really was just like having sex with guys. I was having mostly pretty bad sex with guys who did not know what they were doing. And in that seven years, I had my first boyfriend and that was like really bad. He was abusive. That sex was sort of traumatizing. And by the end of that relationship, I was convinced that I was actually a lesbian. Oh, okay.

And that's why. I mean, he was like, he looked just like Rufio from the movie Hook. He was really hot. He was this half Korean punk rocker. But he was such a douchebag. He turned you off the guy. But he was such a douchebag. And like he was a punk rocker.

He didn't shower or wear underwear. So he always had like dick cheese. And like, it really put me off of dick. So, yeah. So I can't. So then after that relationship, I was like, oh, my God. You finally get your girl? Because, I mean, you're kind of late in the game.

I did. I did. You knew at such a young age that you were into chicks. So late in that. the game. I did finally get quite a few girls. So once I, once I, once I, you know, woke up to the fact that I must be a lesbian. And that's why sex had been so mediocre with men, I came out to my whole family. I came out to the world as gay. And I went full tilt. I like, cut off all my hair. I didn't know what non-binary was then. So I had no words to explain why I

sometimes felt really feminine. And other times I wanted to like be a lumberjack. So you consider yourself binary like that now? Yeah, yeah. I adopted the non-binary identity during the pandemic. Oh, okay. We'll get to that point in your life. We'll get to that. Yeah. So, but back then I didn't have the words. But so it was just like, oh my God, maybe this is who I am full time. And so I chopped off all my hair. I started wearing like combat boots all the time and trousers. And I felt really myself, like more so than I'd ever felt before. I became kind of like a power dyke. I was picking up women constantly, taking random women home. I found out that you can have mediocre sex with women too. Yeah, I was going to say, like, was the sex? Like, was it like, oh my God,

I am gay because this sex is so much better? Or was it same shit, different body? It was kind of the same. I didn't know what I wasn't getting until one day I found it. Like I did, I did, I didn't know that you really just need to have a partner where you're both really tuning into each other. This was all, all my early sex was like young person's sex. You know, it's like confused and secure. Like, let me put on a show like I know what I'm doing, but I don't really know what I'm doing. That kind of sex. I did. So in my lesbian phase, I, I had taken a break from school and I went back to college and there was this gorgeous girl. We'll call her Nancy. She was this really tall, beautiful, dirty blonde with green eyes. And we were in the musical theater program together

at this school in the Northeast. And she was just really into me. And she sort of pursued me, which I was shocked by because I didn't feel like I was tremendously attractive at the time. Like, I felt like I had swagger, but I was still in strong in my ugly duckling phase, which was the first 26 years in my life. So I didn't, it was so weird to me that this like, like objectively gorgeous girl who was 19 and I was 23 was like pursuing me so hard. Hey guys, why not start the new year off the right way with better orgasms and way biger loads that also can. taste better. That's right. There is a supplement that is doctor formulated that will not only increase your loads. It will make your jizz taste better. Okay. And it is called load boost by VB health. Loadbooth is not some sketchy supplement. Okay. It is literally a fave supplement of adult

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my code strictly, you're going to get 10% off or just go to the description and click on the link. That's loadboose.com. Use my code strictly. for 10% off or just go to the description and click on the link. And she sort of pursued me, which I was shocked by, because I didn't feel like I was tremendously attractive at the time. Like, I felt like I had swagger, but I was still in strong in my ugly duckling phase, which was the first 26 years in my life. So I didn't, it was so weird to me that this like, like objectively gorgeous girl who was 19 and I was 23 was like pursuing me so hard. And finally, I was like, okay, okay, okay. I was sort of like keeping her at

arm's length because we were in the same class as a very small program. I was like shenanigans. I don't know if this is good or do. But finally, I succumbed. And that was the best sex of my life thus far. That was amazing. We dated, yeah. It didn't last very long because I had kept her at bay for most of that year. And we only started dating a few weeks from summer vacation starting. And then I dropped out of that school and went on with my life. But for those few weeks, we were fucking every day, multiple times a day. I'd never experienced such desire for somebody. Like, I could not get enough of her. Her pussy was perfection. I would, like, cradle her in my arms and finger her for hours. Like, it was wild. I'd never experienced anything like that. I, I,

I'd think I've ever had that with a girl since. Pussy's aren't. aren't all made the same. I realized that recently I did a whole rate my pussy contest on my discord. And first of all, none of these pussy picks were picked by these men's wives, okay, because half of them came in. I was like with no nail polish on, with razor stubble. I mean, like, shit that no girl would ever let that out in public. I'm like, did you get the okay for these pictures? Because no woman. And I'm like, oh my God, these pussies all look very different. So, you know, it is very interesting. You know, so you're saying she had a nice one is what you're saying. She had a magic pussy. It was, it was very beautiful. It was very beautiful. She was very beautiful. And, you know, and also a little crazy. And I was a little crazy.

And we, we sort of flamed out. Like at this point, you're still in your 20s, right? I mean, that's what it's all about being crazy, trying on different hats, being different people, trying to figure it out. That's why I think labels actually do really are really great at a certain time in people's lives, especially in their 20s, because that's when you're trying to figure out who the fuck you are. And it is about like fully committing like you said like you did. You're totally gay one time. And then you're not, you know what I mean? That's like what being in your 20s is all about, you know? Yeah, yeah. I feel that way. It was a, I mean, it makes for great stories. The reason she and I broke up was because I went to a party without her and we hadn't

had a conversation about exclusivity, but we were calling each other girlfriend. But at this party, I ended up making out with another girl in the bathroom. And the next day, I decided to tell Nancy so that it wouldn't get back to her through the great fine. And she did not take it well. Yeah, you can't. That's cheated. That's called cheating. Well, we didn't.

We never talked on it. You were a boyfriend and grandma. I mean, still at your age, you still don't understand what you did wrong in that story. Come on. You're 42 now. I get it if you were at that time. It was wrong what you did. Nobody could make that with somebody else when they were a boyfriend or girlfriends.

Come on. I'm like so much older than you, but I still know that that's wrong at that age. But this is early signs that I should never try to be monogamous. Like we had not talked about being monogamous. We had not had the talk about exclusivity. And so I did not think that we had those agreements in place. And I stand by that until the day I die. We never talked about it.

But you did call each other boyfriend. Like she was your girlfriend. You were calling each other girlfriend. Yeah. I think that that means exclusivity. typically, you know what I mean? But like I love though that, like that that's the perfect segue into you saying like that just made me realize like I wasn't meant to be monogamous.

That didn't make me realize that. That was just an early, early side. No, but I mean, I'm just saying like when we get to the point now, like are you somebody that always has non monogamous relationships and stuff because you do like that freedom? Yeah, I can't do monogamy. I really, listen, when you're an actor, you're constantly surrounding. by new groups of sexy, attractive, horny people constantly. And you're sexy and attractive and horny.

And so there's a lot of opportunity and a lot of desire. It does not make sense. I have seen so many actors who are in monogamous relationships getting into shenanigans when they're on set or on a theater job. Yeah, cheating. The cheating is rampant. And from my perspective, it's just like, why put yourself through that? You know, back when I had that abusive punk rocker boyfriend, one thing that happened in our

relationship is I found out that he cheated on me with two other girls at the same time. And it really hurt. There was a several weeks long period where I legitimately felt like life wasn't worth living, and I fantasized about death. And I thought about that many years later when I started, when I realized that monogamy wasn't for me. And that was one of the things that was like, wow, making these agreements and then having them be broken is so destructive to yourself, like not just to the relationship, but to how you feel about yourself.

And I can avoid all of that destruction by just not making those agreements in the first place. So you won't be let down. And you won't let anybody else down either. I mean, it goes both ways. I mean, you're not like just saying, oh, I don't want that person with anyone else. You don't want to be with anyone else. I mean, that's how you prefer it. That girl was, she was your first girlfriend, right?

Like when do you become Polly? Like when does that happen? So I had that girlfriend. And then over the course of the next year, my attraction to men started to return. Like I recovered from the trauma of that relationship and the dick cheese. And I realized that I was still attracted to men. And so I was like, okay, I was by all along. I'm still by. Great. And then a few years after that, I had moved to New York City. I grew up in Seoul Korea. I kind of skipped that whole thing. But I grew up on a middle. military base in Korea. That was part of why I was so sheltered and why I had such limited opportunity. But I was, I started voice acting in Seoul during high school. So every time I've had a moment as an adult where I just needed to figure things out and make some fast money, I've gone back to Korea to work. And while I was there on this trip in 2008 or nine, I don't know, I finally had sex with this guy that I had been pining for for two years. This gorgeous, extraordinary writer-actor guy, American expat living in soul. His name is Daniel. And this sex was the first truly mind-blowing. Like with Nancy, the girl in college, I got a lot out of giving her pleasure. It was less

about me. She like went down on me and fingered me and stuff, but like it wasn't, you know, fireworks to end the world or anything like that. But I loved, I loved giving her pleasure. And that was a first for me. But with Daniel, that was the first time that somebody like actually fully rocked my world. Like I fucking saw God. I toes curling. We had sex all night. We would, we would have sex for like, you know, 30 minutes and then take a break and then go for another 30 minutes and then take a long break and then go for another hour. Like it was, I'd never experienced anything like it. So I had this incredible two months in Korea, banging him like crazy.

And in that two months, we totally fell in love with each other. And then I went back to New York. And he was in Seoul. And we were both very programmed to the monogamous mindset and figured that meant we couldn't be together. So we needed to just be friends and move on with our lives. And so we both did. So I got a boyfriend.

And I was really into my boyfriend. And I never stopped being into Daniel. And so then I had this moment where I'm like, fuck, I'm in love with two people at the same time. I'm Jenny Garth in 902.1.0. What do I do? Yeah, but you're not dating the other guy, but you're in love with him. I mean, you guys broke up, right? We didn't, we were never together.

We just slept together for two months and fell in love. The other guy. I mean, I know, but you left him. He's in someplace else. not having a real relationship with him anymore. He's in soul. You're here, correct? Yeah, but we're like sending each other long letters and like emails and messaging all the time. We're staying very close. And I'm with my boyfriend and we are living together and we are together together and I'm still like super in love with this other guy while equally being in love with this guy in front of me. And that blew my

mind because I believed in my little heart that that could not happen. That if you really love somebody, you're not going to love somebody else. That's just not possible. That's what I was raised to believe. And so when I found myself absolutely in love with two people at the same time, my mind was blown. And I didn't know what to do with it. And at one point, I visited Korea without my boyfriend and kind of sort of almost cheated on him. I mean, it depends on you to find cheating. But I just ask you a question, because I like, I really liked a lot of guys at the same time in my life too. And I feel like if according to you, I'd probably be Polly too. Like, did you actually really love these people? Or did you just really, really, really, really like them and you, like, and were really taken by both of them at the

same time? Like, or was it real love? I mean, how do you define real love? For me at the time, I felt that I really loved, but I still feel that I really loved both of them. Okay. But how would you define it? I don't even, I don't know. I don't know that I've never really loved anyone. I could define how I love my son. I've never loved a man like that. So I can't, you know, I don't know. I just know that I totally would have. And that's why I always say, like, I wish I had a lot of labels when I was younger. Maybe I would have considered myself, Polly, because I would be sleeping with three different guys at the same time. I really like them.

Like, I don't know. I could really like multiple people at the same time. But I never thought it was, like, loving them. But maybe, you know, you loved these people. I'm sure you did. You said you did. So you had, so you, did you continue the relationships with both of them at the same time? So I kind of sort of cheated on my boyfriend with Daniel in Korea on this trip.

And it was really tragic feeling because like I stopped us from having sex and I left and we both cried. And it felt wrong. It felt wrong not to take the chance to be with him when I had the chance to be with him. And he had just started dating this girl who was a lot like me. He was really excited about her. We were both very tortured over this. So what ended up happening is I, went to my boyfriend and I was like, hey, I think I need an open relationship. I can't, I can't do this.

Like I, I just almost cheated last night. And he was really devastated, but then eventually agreed to an open relationship. But the open relationship was kind of trying to save the relationship. Me and boyfriend started going to sex parties. That was my first experience with that. I learned that I really liked being in sexually charged places. I learned that I really loved watching other people. I got to finally start having sex with girls again, which was super fun. I found out that I am very popular at sex parties and like, how come? Very, you know, like pretty much reliably, the people that I think are the most attractive people are going to want to bang me. And I was like, this is amazing.

And I also found out that this man that I was with did not have the same kind of allure. And he was the one that brought it up or did you bring it up? Well, I was the one who wanted the open relationship and he was hurt at first, but then he came around to it. It turned out he was a little bye. He's one of those straight guys who likes to suck cock. And he, so he got into it and he was the one who suggested sex parties. And it was interesting. It was, it's really fun, but there were also like problems. Like I quickly found out that even at a sex party, wives and girlfriends like to get jealous when their man is interested in you. Really?

Yeah. I had that happen so many times where I'd be. viving with some guy and we'd be about to hook up and then his wife or girlfriend would come and put the kibosh on it. It's like, what are you even doing here? They were just jealous because typically I don't hear that kind of stuff, you know, that the wife gets out. Interesting. But I'm also the kind of person that like

the way sexual energy builds with me is through more of like an intellectual like I would have conversations with these men and then we'd be excited to hook up and I think that's what maybe what the wives were responding to. But were you having intellectual conversations with them

too or were you ignoring them? Because there is sort of like, you know, there's a swinger, sex party etiquette in that if you want to like fuck a partner, one of the golden rules is whether you're a guy wanting to fuck a guy's wife or a girl wanting to fuck a woman's husband, you know, you always

want to make sure you got the okay and you're super cool with the partner, right? Totally. So you would do all that and they still hate it and they still were jealous? Yeah, the way it would normally go down is the guy would be talking to me and I didn't even know he was there with a woman. And it wasn't, it wasn't apparent to me that there was a

woman attached to him until she came up and put the kibash on. Oh, okay. So that's not your fault. You didn't even know. The guy was just talking to you, but you didn't even know that the, the partner was there. Yeah. So, or he'd mention it and I would like, you know, he'd be like, oh, that's her over there and she'd be like sucking some cock or something. You know? But yeah, that happened a lot. Like, I was constantly getting cop blocked by wives and girlfriends at sex parties. And I came to realize that like sex parties are not my ideal thing. I would rather, I like a group sex experience, but I like it to be curated. And even those can go weird. Like we went to one like that, where it was just this couple who curated a party with four couples,

so eight people. And it was really fun until the hostess got too drunk and started throwing up the bathroom and like half the guys couldn't perform because they were so freaked out by the other guys being there. And then this girl got jealous because her husband was going down on me instead of her. Like, it was, it was such a great night until it fucking wasn't. So lots of complicated dynamics. Me and this boyfriend eventually break up. Then I get into another relationship almost immediately with a guy who is like super monogamous, super controlling and like didn't even want to give me a few months of just non-exclusively dating because I'd just gotten out of a relationship. He was like, no, on the third date, he was like, we're going to be together or we're not going to be together.

And you be exclusive with me or I never want to talk to you again. So I was like, okay, you know what? I'm not going to promise you exclusivity, but I promise you I will tell you if I get with somebody else and then you can break up with me. And he was like, all right. So we start dating and I never hook up with anybody else because I really like him and the sex does end up being very good with him. Not Daniel quality, but like pretty good.

And he wanted me to stop talking to Daniel. And he also wanted me to stop talking. to anybody that I'd ever even made out with. Like we're talking girls in college that I made out with. He wanted me to stop talking to because he felt it was a betrayal of our relationship. He was that kind of guy. So for the next year, I cut off a bunch of people, including Daniel, who I still loved, like, deeply down into my soul.

I don't think I've ever loved anybody like Daniel except my husband. You're married? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get there. So I cut him off for a year and then when that guy left me, I looked back on that year and I was like, that was so fucked. Like, I never want to do that again. And I called him the night that my boyfriend left me, I called Daniel. And I told him we broke up and I explained everything to him. And I was like, I'm so sorry.

I did this to you. And he'd been so depressed over it, even though he was still dating this girl that he started dating, you know, a couple years before. And I promised him I'd never do that again. And I also promised that I was never going to get into a monogamous thing with anybody else again because I wanted there to always be a place for him in my life. I knew how wrong it felt to not be with him if I had a chance to just because I had an agreement with somebody else that I wouldn't. I never wanted to do that again. I completely changed. I started identifying as polyamorous and non-monogamous.

I started saying I don't do monogamy to everybody that I started seeing or sleeping with. And that was in late 2012. So since then, I have been very committedly and fiercely polyamorous. And it's all because of this one guy in Korea that I was just never willing to let go of and never willing to betray like that again. But do you ever have like multiple relationships with other people? Oh, yeah. So after the controlling monogamous guy, I very quickly got into another relationship with a guy who was younger than me and just as slutty as me. and who also wanted a Polly relationship.

So we were together for, gosh, about three years. And that was my first, like, fully open Polly situation. And it was so beautiful. We had the best sacks. We played with so many people. We would go out to a club, like a typical night for us, is we'd go out to, like, queer night at some buzzy club in the meatpacking district. And we'd get there, and I'd be talking.

to like the friends we came with and Dylan, my boyfriend, would start doing laps of the various rooms in the club. And then he'd like show up 20 minutes later with this gorgeous girl and be like, hi, look who I met. Meet her. She's our new friend. And we'd end up taking her home and having a wonderful threesome. Like that was, that was our normal. It was so good. He was the best wingman. He's a good wingman. That's, yeah, exactly. It was wonderful. And he had his own people that he saw without me. I had my own people that I saw without him. I would lend my friends to him. Like, this is one of my favorite stories to tell.

I had this friend who was visiting from out of town. And we went to dinner and it had been a long time since she and I had gotten together. And I found out that she was in her early 40s and still a virgin. And she was telling me how she hated this and she just wanted to have sex already. But like nobody would have sex with her because they all thought there was too much pressure on it because she was such an old virgin. And I'm looking at her and she's like this cute little Asian lady. And I'm like, my boyfriend Dylan would love you. Because he didn't have a type.

He loves everybody. To this day, he is a lover. I'm like, he would show you a great time. He would not care that you're a virgin. And he would give you an amazing sexual debut. What do you think? And I showed her a picture of him. And she was like, yes.

So we set it up. generous of you. Right. They went out the next night. I got a two-page long thank you letter from her about how he rocked her world and what a magical being he was and how grateful she was that she'd been gifted this experience. And it just made me so happy. Like that's, ah, polyamory is wonderful. If you can get over your fear of abandonment surrounding your partner having other. passions and other loves. It can be so beautiful. It can give you real relationship security. Like me and him eventually broke up mostly because he was a lot younger than me. He wasn't as established and he had a pretty severe mental illness that he got diagnosed with. And so I had

to release him into the wild. But he had been dating a girl for a while at that point who he loved and who loved him. So instead of having nowhere to go, when he left my place, he was able to move in with her and they stayed together for like eight years. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. So, and me and him are still friends. I mean, he's like on my cell phone plan. Like I love him forever. He's family forever. I don't think that sexual failures necessarily last forever, no matter how strong they are at the beginning. I do think that there are elements of familiarity that can calm that down. But I'm so grateful for that relationship. It was wonderful. And when we broke up, then I was in a solo Polly phase for a few years. And then I was just like fucking right and left again and having a blast

until I met my husband. How do you meet him? Like you're at this point, you're out and proud. So I'm assuming if you're on any kind of app or anything, you're like I'm into open. Polly, sex club. You know, you're down, right? You're doing alternative dating sites. So you know you're meeting like-minded people. I mean, I didn't meet him through a dating side. I I met him through musician networks. So what's crazy is we had both gone to school in Boston across the street from each other at the same time. And then years later, we nearly overlapped in the same band. I quit a band two weeks before his first gig with them.

And my friend was still in this band. Colliding. But no, I love that. My friend met him and she was like, it's not right that you weren't on this gig because you would have. fallen in love with and married this new guitar player that they caught. No fucking way. She said that years before without you even knowing who that was. And then so many years later, that guitar player that she had the vibe for that was

fucking right. She's psychic without knowing it. It was that same guy. Oh, I love that. That same guy. Yeah. So right from the beginning, it felt really faded. It felt really mystical.

Yeah, I love. And we fell in love really fast. He was about to go to basic training to join the Army. And he was all about polyamory until he found out a while later. So we got married really fast because of the military. The military pays you to be married. He was all about polyamory until he found out that the military actually makes it legal. You're kidding.

No. In the UCMJ, the Uniform Code of Military Justice, there's a clause about adultery. It is a crime in military law to have sex. with anybody outside of your own marriage, it's also a crime to have sex with somebody who is married, not to you. And you can be court-martialed. You can be put in prison, military prison for up to a year, forfeit all pay, dishonorable discharge, like full career death. And my husband is a really risk-averse guy. He's very, you know, cautious and he's stable and he's good with money. And when he found that out, it really freaked him out. It caused a shitstorm in our relationship because I was like,

I didn't agree. Listen, you can't be non-monogamous, but I still fucking can. And I plan to. And that is an ongoing thing. He's now stationed in Europe, meaning our relationship has never really recovered from this blow. We still love each other. We own a house together. Oh, so are you still married or are you just married for the military or are you married for love? We just had our six-year anniversary. I know we love each other, but it's gotten very complicated. And now, Daniel is like, he divorced his wife. Daniel is still in the story. Still in the story. And we finally made our relationship official this year. And that's made things really hard in my marriage as well. Because I don't think he, I told him about Daniel, like, when we first met. This guy is a non-negotiable for me. He's YM. Polly, when he is no longer married to somebody who, who doesn't want to be Polly, we're going to be together. And I know this is going to happen. And just know that that's going to happen. But then when it really happened, it was like, what? Of course.

Especially because you've been telling him about this guy and he's like the one, it sounds like for you. You know what I mean? Who's going to like that? You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I would be fine with it, but that's me. Yeah, like you're more evolved than most people. So the thing is, like Daniel is a fucking phenom in bed.

He goes for hours. You know, he has trouble coming. so he can just keep going and going. He can stay hard forever. It's amazing. And I, you know, the one time that we were having regular sex, I think there was like a three week period at one point where we had sex once a week for three weeks.

And I ended up with cervical abrasion. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's as bad as it fucking sounds. I couldn't have sex for a month after that. And I realized, oh, my God, like, there's a limit to how often I can have sex with him. And so when he's going to move here in about six months. And we're going to finally get to be together after almost 20 years of being in love with each other. And I know already that I'm not going to be able to have as much sex as he's going to want to have just physically.

Like the spirit is willing. The body has limits. So I'm already talking to my horny girlfriends. Like, hey, like here's a picture of him. Would you take him once a week? Yeah. I don't think that's such a bad thing. And I see this as spreading joy.

Yeah. I need help. Help a sister. Help her. Totally, totally. I think, listen, I think it's easier to understand that, but I think when you go even to the next level where you are with Daniel, where you said before, like, I love him. He's like, you know, you do you know, but and this other woman, now they love each other too. And that's fine. You know what I mean? It's like that's where I think a lot of people wouldn't be able to go there. You know, it's one thing, oh, let me share my partner with you sexually, blah, blah, blah, blah. But that primary comes. to you and you're their primary and you're the one they love more than anyone and there's no love going on. I think that's the hard thing. But you're fine with that. I hate the word primary. Yeah, but a lot of poly people that use it though. You know that. I know a lot of poly people use it and there's a lot

of conversation about hierarchical polyamory versus relationship anarchy. I trend towards relationship anarchy purely because I think it's a little fucked up to rank people. You know? Nobody says, I have three children and this one is my primary job. It's a good point. I have three friends and this one's my primary friend. I don't even like the term best friend. Okay, but let me just put you in a position where maybe

like those labels could help out. Like, you know, when, if there's a birthday or there's a holiday, like, you know, where when you're living together and there's a master, like, or whatever you're supposed to allow to call that bedroom, you know, who's like, and you have five guys that you're in love with? Like, you know, doesn't someone have to be maybe the one that's chosen? So you know, like, I'm doing this, like, of the holidays with my primary.

I'm sleeping in the master bedroom with my primary. You know, I think, like, you know, because or else couldn't it get very confusing? It sure can, but, you know, you just commit to negotiating and communicating about everyone's needs and making compromises. So, like, I don't see myself ever being in a situation where I've got, like, five different people in my household that I'm in love with all of them. I can see there being two, you know, and maybe a, you know, and maybe a, you know, maybe a third person that one of them is involved with that I'm not involved with that way. And in that case, it would just be like, you know, who needs what? What is everybody's ideal?

And then let's put the puzzle pieces together and try to make it so that everybody gets at least some of what they want. And it's interesting. Like, I was in a situation where I had a metamore who... Oh, I just learned that word with the woman I'm airing tomorrow, Natalie, with Polly. Nice. Yeah. The matamore. yeah, who hated when I said that to her.

Like I said, you know, we'll just like discuss what our needs are and then we'll try to compromise so everyone gets part of what they want. She was like, I want all of what I want. And it's like, well, well, I mean, she can't even be in a regular relationship if that's how she rolls. I mean, come on. Exactly. It's called compromise whenever you're dealing with another person. Yeah, exactly. Let alone five.

Oh, my God. I think it gets way, I think it gets really problematic when it's like, oh, well, this is my primary and so therefore I will always do Christmas with them I will always do my birthday with them and you get left out in the cold I think that's crazy what I want ideally and you know who knows if this will ever be really possible because you can't control other people but I want everybody to make their best effort to develop warm loving relationships with everybody in the polycule who is committed you know and long term yeah so that way you don't have to fight over holidays it's like no we're going to do Christmas together you know or if you

need to go to your family and I need to go to my family, maybe, you know, this third person that connects us can do Christmas with you and New Year's with me because that's just the way it has to be, you know? And so you make the compromises. You do kind of have a primary partner. It is your quote unquote husband. Like, I don't know how he feels like if, is he just a husband by paper or like, like, does he know that Daniel's divorce and he's moving here?

He does. And he's not happy about it. Like, so like, does he move in with you? Like, what is your plan for Daniel and your husband? husband as far as that's concerned when, you know, he's here? Well, even without the aspect of Daniel, my husband and I have been long distance for years now. Oh, okay. We live together for the first three years and then I moved to Los Angeles without him, mostly because he decided to stay in the military. Originally, it was going to be one contract, four years and out, and we were going to

move to L.A. together, and then he decided to re-enlist, and I still had dreams. So I, so I, You were really, like you were married maybe like three years, really, and the rest of the time you were having this long distance thing, long distance. I mean, we've been married the whole time. Marriage is just a legal contract. Exactly. But you didn't really have a marriage because you weren't even with each other. Yeah. For so many years. No, no, none of that is right. We were visiting. We were visiting and, you know, and talking every day and we still talk every day. Right now.

So what happens when Daniel comes, though, with this guy, if you're talking him every day, he doesn't live here. Does he, is Daniel moving in with you? Yeah, Daniel's going to move in with me. Hubby is not happy about any of this. I think that it's likely that we start transitioning our relationship. He's just not willing to play. Let me ask you about a hubby, though. Like, what the fuck is Hubby doing by himself?

Like, does he have other relationships? Is he just sitting there, like, thinking that he's married to you and he's just only with you and he has this, like, love or something like? No. I can't talk. I can't really talk about what he's doing. But he has his needs met is what, that's all I want to know. Like, does he like live his life outside of you in this kind of like relationship? I can neither confirm nor deny.

Why not? I don't know who the fuck he is. Because I'm military law. I can neither confirm nor deny. But that's all I can relate. Oh, right, because you're married. I forgot. Sorry.

Yeah. Yeah. He'll never listen to this. but yeah, I can't talk about that. You can rest assured that, you know, he's not, he's fine. Yeah, of course. I mean, it's been so many years, you'd have to imagine. So when Daniel comes, that might be the end of your marriage with this guy that you're married to,

but Daniel's definitely moving in. And Daniel rolls like you. He rolls like me. Right, yeah. Yeah, he wants the same things I want. So he's bisexual. he's a he's hypersexual he's a fiend he he wants to go to all the parties he's never been in a relationship that allowed him to do that he's only ever been with women who wanted to keep him in a box and i've only ever been other than dylan with men who wanted to keep me in a box no matter how loud i've been about being polly and so it's going to be really exciting for both of us like you know i i would like things to be different i would like to keep both of them i'd like us all to be a happy little polycule and function as a team and a family, I just don't think that's what

my husband wants. And I can't control other people. No, it's obvious that's not what he wants. I mean, he's made it clear. You know what I mean? And I think, listen, you are just who you are. And it's, it is great that you are finally going to be with somebody that allows you to be exactly you. And same with and vice versa for him too. And that's what it's all about. You know what I mean? Like, for sure. And so I think it's going to be awesome. That's when like everything starts for you. And at this point, I'm like, I'm living my best life. I feel really free for the first time in years.

I have a menagerie of comets that live across the globe who all. Yeah, that's another word I just learned. The comments are like the other people that you just have in your life that you see. My comment lovers. Yeah. They're so wonderful. So I'm, you know, I'm constantly sexting and flirting with long distance lovers and then I'll get to see them. There's like eight to ten.

at any given time and I'll get to see all of them like once or twice a year. So that's fun. And I'm dating and sleeping with people locally and oh my God. I just got picked up by this hottie with a body marathon runner the other week. And we had a really funny text exchange where he asked what my podcast was about and I told him and then he said, oh, I'm a man of God. Do you believe in God? Do you say yes? And we had a whole conversation about, no, I told him the truth. We had this whole philosophical, spiritual conversation. And he's still interested in me. Yes, of course.

At the end of the day, I don't care how much he believes in God. He's still a dude. And he thinks with his dick. Oh, I'm definitely jumping on that dick. It looks like a beautiful dick from what I can see from the outside looking in. I'm so excited. So, and, you know, I'm just having a lot of fun. I went through a few dark years.

Pandemic sucks. I am excited, though, for Daniel. I am excited, though, for Daniel to finally move here and for you to, have that like, you know, it doesn't mean that these other common people, you have those relations, but you don't feel for them the same way you do, Daniel. It doesn't mean that you can't have five more Daniels in your life if you found them. It just so happens that he is the person that you have the most strongest feelings for. And I just feel like maybe that will be, like that'll be very, that'll be a very interesting new chapter for you. It's going to be, I think, the best chapter of my life.

Yeah. I'm so deeply looking forward to sledding out with a teammate. Yeah. I think that everything that you've been into, you could finally just like relax into it and stuff and it'll all make sense. And then you'll just be free to really just be you. And I think that I've seen other friends of mine go through similar kinds of things and then finally meet their person that is very much on their same page, even though you would think it's impossible, you know, like you said, you've been, you know, you've had so many guys not be able to handle the way that, the freedom that you want. Same with him, with women. And it makes sense. But that doesn't mean like if you exist and you're wired the way or there's got to be other people like you, right?

And you have this one person, which is Daniel, and that's what it's all about. And I think it's really great. And that's when I want to talk to you again, like in eight months. I'm down. When you got the whole polykeel and all these other fucking terms that goes down. I love all these terms I learned the other day, the metamore and the comments and the poly this, the poly this, the poly this. I think it's super interesting.

Because like I said, have you heard NRE yet? No. New relationship energy? Oh, she brought up new relationship. She talked about how the Polly woman did talk a lot. She didn't say NRA. Maybe she didn't. I didn't fucking get it.

But she talked a lot about how, you know, what she loves about being Polly is that, you know, you're never going to get that NRE from anyone, from your husband or the person that she, you know, because she was married for a long time or whatever. And she loves that and she loves that she's available. Like she's able to get that from people. Is that what that's all about? Yeah. It's so much fun.

It can also cause a lot of strife in your, you know, I don't like the word primary. So I like to use anchor relationship or nesting relationship if you live together. That's how I'll be referring to Daniel when he gets here is either nesting partner or anchor partner. When you have NRE with somebody new, it can really throw things off balance. It's like when you have a single cat and it's just you and your cat and you love each other and it's beautiful and harmonious. You have this deep bond and then you introduce another cat. Or kids. It's same shit with kids.

Or kids or a dog. It's literally, and I've been doing this in my house. this entire year, like I started with a cat, and I moved to San Antonio this year, and now, of course, I have a dog because there's dogs everywhere and they follow you home. And right now I have two dogs

because I'm fostering one temporarily, and my cat is just going through cycles of fuck you, mom. I could imagine. Why do you keep bringing these monsters? She's like, just because you're fucking Polly doesn't mean I am. Stop projecting your Pollyness on me.

I love being the only child. I've learned some wonderful lessons just from observing my animals and the way I respond to them because I can be a lot more judgmental with a person than I am with a cat who's getting jealous. And I feel like I need to be more patient with the jealous human than they're. Yes, don't you get that most people are jealous and possessive?

Don't you get that that's like the regular person and that will always be the minority and you, like, I mean the majority and that's just the way so many people are. There's no right or wrong. I don't think, you know, I just think that it just, it's just whoever you what's most important is knowing who you are and how you roll and then finding that right person and I think when you become very clear with that that's how what you wind up attracting you know so I mean yes and no because I really knew who I was when I met my husband

and I was explicit about it I mean when my husband and I first met the first time we had sex was in a hotel room that was being paid for by my sugar daddy who had fucked me in the same bed that morning and he knew that yeah but it's different when you're just fucking someone in the first time and you don't give a fuck about them, it's very different when feelings start to come into play. And people start falling off the cliff and falling in love with someone. That whole first summer, I was,

but they become very vulnerable. They become very vulnerable. I was madly in love with another guy. The whole summer that, that my husband was at basic training. But maybe he wasn't in love with you yet. But I'm just saying the reason. He was.

He was asking me to marry him when this was all going down. You went maybe because he thought things would change. I mean, he didn't like it at the end of the day. Like that's unfortunately what happened, correct? But at the beginning, he said, you're a dream girl. I think I'm Polly too. And I never thought it was possible to find a woman like you. Yeah. But he realized he wasn't. But what I don't, what I don't understand is when somebody is that explicit with you and you know who exactly they are and then later

you change the game on them and then like blame them for it. No, no, no, no. First of all that happens to marriage all the time. That's what happened. No, that happens to marriage all the time. But he was, he didn't, he didn't even know who the fuck he was. He thought he was Polly. Okay. You got to give people grace. Like he thought he was Polly. He thought he could do that. He was like in love with you. He didn't go in knowing that he wasn't and he fucking switched the thing. You know,

and most people present as their perfect selves when you first meet them. And then you get to know them later. It's not that you knew them in the beginning and then you find out their wrong self later. It's that you didn't know who the fuck they were when you first met them. And you were like, they were giving you exactly what you wanted. That happens all the time. And then the mask comes off.

And then you know who somebody is. And that's just reality. And that happens always. I really think at this point you don't know somebody until you've lived with them for two years. Yeah, for sure. Of course. Like lived with them. Yeah, that's normal.

Oh, my God. So many people you hear that in marriage, you know, like, who the fuck are you after you move in? But people do, we'll do anything to lock shit down. That guy liked you. He wanted to lock you down. And he was willing to do whatever it took to get you to be his girl. And then he realized he couldn't fucking do it for the rest of his life. But he probably just really cared about you.

and wanted to have you and was like, and women do it all the time. We twist ourselves into pretzels to, you know, make it work with a guy, even if it's unworkable until you just can't fucking take it anymore. And that's what he did.

And to me, my favorite saying is like, know thyself. You know, your poor guy didn't know himself yet. He didn't realize, like, what he was doing

and what he was trying to do with you was not good for him. It wasn't. It wasn't healthy for him. But he tried because he probably like really fucking liked you and was horny for you

and was in love with you, but he just couldn't do it. And like I said, women do that all the time. We all do that. But, you know, we still love each other. And I, and he feels like family to me. So I'm very, I'm very hopeful that we will be able to find whatever relationship works for us. You found your relationship. You should just be hopeful that he finds his. You got your Daniel coming up. No, I mean, for, for he and I, for our relationship. Me and him. I, you know, I'm close with his mom. Like, I love his nieces and nephews. Like, I don't, I don't like the idea that you split up and you, like, really just, like, wrench the whole thing part. Like, I love those

divorced people who are still good friends, you know? And I think that's more, I think it's so sad in our society that, like, when Gweth Paltrow did, like, conscious uncoupling, people thought she was a fucking weirdo, yet you hear of these divorces where people are bitter and hateful to each other for 10 years and nobody thinks that's fucking weird. And, and that's, And they think it's weird when people are friends. I think that's how you should fucking be. And we could all get to that point. Sometimes it doesn't happen right away.

I've unconsciously coupled with every boyfriend I have. I'm friends with all of them. I don't hold on to that shit at all. You learn your lessons. You figure it out. Sometimes you can't talk to someone for a certain time. But if you really like them for other things, just because you're not having sex with them,

most of the time, why wouldn't you stay friends with them? So I totally am right there with you. You and your guy have been more like friends anyway. So I don't see there being a bad breakup, but they're really, you know, it doesn't sound like there's a matter. It doesn't sound like there's like a romantic kind of marriage there and with you with the other guy. And plus, because he can't handle it. Like you just need to, like that needs to end. But you could be besties. Yeah. We'll see what happens. I mean, we were strongly romantic until earlier this year when the thing. Okay. He doesn't. I can't psychoanalyize your relationship. But like you guys haven't even lived together for like seven years. years. I don't know how romantic you could be over the phone. Oh, I mean, I've never lived with Daniel and we've been super romantic for a really long time since 2009. Okay. So I really, no, but you said you don't think the proximity. Yeah, you know, you did say before you do need to

live with someone for a while to really know who they are. To really know that. Yeah. I do. That's why I want to talk to you after you live with Daniel for a year. You know what I mean? Because that's when you're really finally, finally solidify what you have, which I think, is great and positive. I just think, you know, your poor husband. I don't think he should discuss. I don't think, I mean, you don't have to feel sorry for my husband. Okay. Maybe I didn't hear it properly, but I heard that he doesn't like being Polly and you're fucking Polly, so it just doesn't work. What you've heard is me giving the most gracious, compassionate version of what has happened. Right. So I'm saying set him fucking free. That's why I'm saying

set him free. Let him go. Oh, that's it. Oh, believe me. I am trying. Oh, okay. I see. That's why it doesn't make sense to me because you're not being truthful.

And you can't be, I get it. I can't be with this. Unfortunately, in a public forum, but honey, if you want to get together, if you want to probably, I'll give you the whole team. No, no, no. I'm sorry, listeners.

Listeners, I'm sorry. I have to protect people. I'm over. No, no, no, no, no. I'm over your ex-husband. I want him to be, he's not a, he's not a part. It's over. It's over five years ago.

I love how quickly you flip. You were fun. No, I mean, I'm, listen, I had to stick up for him. I understand where he's coming from, but like, there's no relationship there. But listen, Samia, okay, Samia Mounce, I'm going to be on your podcast. We're just going to be talking about like my buck and fun sex stories over there. I will let everyone know. I'm going to try to get you talked about, talk about yourself too.

Oh, you can. You can. Oh, I'm going to try. Because I'm curious about you, Kathy Kay. Yeah. So many questions. I'm very open. I'll tell you anything you fucking want to hear.

Listen, I love how you create. I love your podcast. Like I said, I think it is done really well. You put a lot of time and effort into it. You're very, obviously, a very curious person like I am.

You roll the same way, and that's why you're talking to people and getting them to spill their guts. So people should definitely check out your podcast. It's called Closet Ed. And I will put a link, whatever links you want to send me them, Samia,

so I could put it in the description. Because, you know, my audience loves hearing people's stories so they could go hear more over on your podcast as well. I love to hook other podcasters out. you know, up. And I will put the link there. Send me some picks for my Patreon if you want. And I look forward to talking to you on your podcast soon. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. This has been a joy. You're a phenomenal, human and creative. And I'm just so honored to get a chance to talk with you and to be on

your show. Thank you, Kathy. Thank you so much for calling in. We'll talk soon. Have a great day. Talk soon. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lies of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl's story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person,

and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into

my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.