Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1340 - Sexting and Sending Nudes, Cuckqueaning, Hotwife Fantasies and More w/Layla

Episode Date: January 18, 2026

Tune in to this quick bonus ep featuring Kathy and Layla answering questions and talking all aboout sexting and sending nudes and more. Tune in to hear all the details including how girls feel about sexting and sending nudes to guys, what to do and not to do one sending nudes, how and why guys sometimes share their girls nudes with their friends the time Kathy’s naughty pics were shared, how Kathy found out she was a cuckquean, how Layla rolls in the bedroom, how to bring up fantasies with your partner and why it’s important, how so many guys are into seeing their girl with other guys and why they might be into it, how being honest about what you’re really into can change the game in bedroom, watching vs. being watched, booty calls vs. real relationships and what Layla is really into right now,  plus a whole lot more.  GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.   Sponsors: https://learn.nocd.com/strictly If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get 10% OFF your first month of Bluechew GOLD! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off LOAD BOOST by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PikaVibe.com/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Click to get $15 OFF your purchase ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2540-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠— Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

sexting and sending nudie picks to your guys. You get a lot of stories for me and Lila about us sending videos and nudes. I talk about my horrifying experience of my guys sharing them. Somehow that leads us talking about cuck queen, me wanting to be a cuck queen. We talk about how to bring up fantasies in the bedroom. We talk about how, you know, the hot white fantasy is so popular. We're popular with guys and we give our reasons why we think it's so popular with guys. And I think we're right.

We talk about how changing the game in the bedroom is just being honest about having fantasies. And we talk all about that. And, you know, Leila talks about being watched. And we talk about mirrors in the bedroom and watching and being watched and all that kind of good stuff. It's a super fun episode and you're going to love it. So I'm going to be right back on with Layla. Let's get to another question. This one was about like sending nudes and naked picks and stuff and videos to a partner.

And they wanted to know like, you know, whether it's like a one, like a, you know, a guy you've just been dating or somebody long term. Like how do you feel like they wanted to know about sending nudes and videos or any of that kind of stuff? Why don't you start this one off? Okay. So is this someone she's been with? This is a partner? This guy. This guy says, what do women think about a partner of a one night or 10 years? And, you know, who asks them to take nude pics or videos. Oh, not just sending them. It's more taking them. Okay. Like, say you're with a guy, whether it's like you're with him one night or your partner. Like, how do you feel about taking nude picks or videos? During sex, obviously. Yeah. So I have very strict rules about this personally. Right. I, yeah. So I don't, I will, I like. like taking them and having them just for myself, like if I want to, you know, masturbate or

reminisce or whatever. And I don't show any faces. So if it's just a real quick clip of like, you know, him, I like to see a guy's dick going in anatomy. You know, there's certain things I like to capture. I like this, you know, how it looks. And so I'll keep that stuff. But he's not, no, I don't like guys take pictures of me. I don't send. I, you know, I really try to limit anything I send out if I don't know somebody especially. I'm super careful. I don't put my face in it. And then I don't use any pictures like regular pictures that you use publicly on social media or anything like that. Yeah. No. Listen, this is one of my favorite stories that I've told it before. I'm going to tell it again because like you say like I'm very leery about doing it with people.

I don't know. You should be leery about people doing it with people. Even people you do know. Yes. I mean, it's, you know how many times I've been with a guy friend of mine and they've been like, oh, look with my girl just said me. I know. I know. They like to brag. They like to brag. And this is like, this is my favorite story I'm going to say again. So like I, so I was seeing this guy, right? And he really is into like sexting, right? And I'm down. I'll send naked picks. I'll send video. I'll send it all. I'll do it all off phone sex. You know, it's fun. I don't mind. But of course I never put in my face, right? So I had said and and and but I'm like really crazy with my picks. Like I mean, sometimes on my disson. I mean,

discord. Remember our pussy pick contest? I'm like, where did these pictures come from? Like, I make sure my picks are like fucking perfect because I do believe like, and this is what I say to girls, like you can send picks all you want. Don't put your faces in it and make sure they look good because they're sharing them. Oh, make sure they look yes. Oh, totally. Make sure your nails are painted.

Oh yeah. No, it's a perfect. I mean, I don't want anything floating around. I'm, that's the first thought in my head actually before it's can I send it to this person is, does this look good? Is this flattering of me? Exactly. Even though you don't know it's me and I've cut my head off, whatever part of my body you're seeing, it needs to be fabulous looking. Yeah, but I think the better the picture, the more they're likely to share it. So I had sent these pictures and it's one of my favorite, you mean this guy still know each other to this day. So I've seen the pecks, you know, when I've sent them hundreds of pecks or maybe thousands. I don't know at this point. And, you know, it's one of my favorite set of pecks. And it happened to be summer. I was very tan and I was wearing this like turquoise nail polish in the pictures. Nobody was sporting turquoise nail polish at the time except me. Okay. So it was like

something that most people hadn't seen and I sent him all these picks, you know. And then like fast forward two weeks, three weeks, I don't know, whatever. We're out at like some restaurant eating with one of his besties who I know very well. And this guy is like one of my best friends and I'm like banging and all of a sudden I'm like, you know, because I'm not drinking. I'm picking up my tea cup to take a drink of my tea while I'm in the middle of talking to his bestie while we're eating. And he, the minute he catches wind of my fingernail polish, I had the turquoise nail polish on, he stopped dead in his tracks. Like I saw on his face, he couldn't finish his sentence. He was registered. And I, in one second, I knew my friend had showed him the fucking pictures because he, and he,

it all came together for me because he saw him on his face. He couldn't, he was stumbling on his words like all of a sudden and so I knew my friend never told him this is you know quote unquote Kathy but he definitely showed him the picks because the minute he saw my nail polish it was my nail polish when the my nail polish went up to my mouth he it registered in him and I saw the whole thing I was like oh my God you fucking told him he to this day he'll still deny but I don't I don't believe him because he's the same friend who has shown me pictures and I'll never forget the one stupidest photo I've ever seen and tell me if you've ever done this and the girls please don't ever do this because this is the stupidest thing.

But my guy didn't think it was bad because he bragged about it to me. He's like, oh, look at this pictures. This girl sent me and she had bought deli flowers, I swear to God. They weren't even from like a florist. They were like deli flowers. And she had like these ugly white panties on

and she had flowers, deli flowers and her legs were spread and there was like a bouquet of deli flowers in between her crotch. And that was like her picture. I'm like, this is the dumbest. I'm like, Can you please send that to me? Because this is the dumbest thing.

And he's like, oh, she's Eastern European and this is the thing. They like, I was like, oh, my God, that's not hot. Is that hot? The only thing missing from that is like stray pubes, you know, poking out from behind the bouquet. I mean, I think that there was razor stubble. I was like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I'm like, do you like this? We're so catty.

We're so catty. No, he was my best friend at the time. I wasn't actually banging him at the time. So this is all he got. And then, of course, I said my great picks with my turquoise nail polish, of course he was sharing that. But I knew he was a sharer because he had shared the fucking deli picks. So, well, then he got to step up. I mean, he was sharing the, you know, the deli flower pictures.

And then boom. That's why that guy took notice. He was like, that's different. Yeah. Well, he was the same guy. who made me realize that I was a cuck queen because one day, out of the blue, like very late at night, I get a video from him. And like I said, we've always been sexting. He sends me dick pics. I send him all my pussy shots and all that shit, you know. And I get a video and I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I look at it and it's

him fucking somebody else. Now, of course, no faces or anything. And I was, I real, I had never been more turned out in my life. And that's when I put it all together that I was like a little. little cuck queen. And then I was like, oh my God, send me all the picks you have of you with other women, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean? And he had a treasure trove of all that shit. But nothing was like the first time, do you know what I mean, that he kind of sent it to me. And I saw it. And that's when I realized I'm a little bit of a cuck queen. Like, have you ever seen a video or seen your guy with another girl? Yes. And actually, it's so funny. As you're telling this story, Kathy, I'm literally having a light bulb moment. I'm like, I have to go back in my brain and remember what the

time frame around that was. I think, yeah, so yes, I did get sent one from somebody that ended up being a long-term partner. And this is in the very beginning of our relationship. Boom, I just get this text and it's him fucking this other woman. And I'm like, like, no commentary, nothing. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And why did he send this? And he never said, thing and I just fucking never commented because I was just like okay asshole you know by accident yeah I did I thought maybe he sent it but maybe he sent it by accident because he didn't say anything and you know how when you say something this is back before you could edit your text yeah yeah yeah and so I thought okay maybe he just that was an accident and now it's awkward and he doesn't

know what to say anyway but I was but I thought well I'm not going to say anything it's his mistake if he can't man up and say anything fuck him you know Yeah. I never said anything about it. But now, looking back, I think that was a trial close. I think he was trying to see like, hey, maybe she's into this. Maybe I can twist her that way. I don't know. Were you into it? But did it turn you on or no? Because you're not, like, you're more so the puck cake. No, I want, no, I don't want to be, no. Let's get it straight. The order of things. Who's who's at the top of the food chain and who is not? I, there's no. There's no. fucking way I'm submissive to any goddamn woman. But I don't see it as being submissive you do I see it as sharing. Yes. You see it as no you've never shared a guy with your friend I used to give my booty call guy friends to my to my friends let them fuck my booty call guys because I'm like oh he's so good try it out. I think I'm just like a cup queen. No but that's like that's different I see I think that's different that's just you it's hey it's this guy's a good lay and you don't have an attachment to him like I

I wouldn't share anybody. I wouldn't do that with somebody that I really care about. It wouldn't be like, oh, yeah, come over and fuck my guy. But yeah, it's just a booty call guy, whatever. I think, I don't know, I just don't think, I can't think they're two kind of different. Yeah, listen, I do think, like, listen, the word, it says it all, cuck queen, right? Like, there's a little bit of a cuck going on. But, you know, because I've talked to so many guys who have been into the hot

wiping thing and love seeing their partner with somebody else, you know, and then when I realize I put it together that I like that too. I don't know where it comes from. I just know that I was like instantly turned on. You know, and that same guy, by the way, he, you know, set me another thing recently. And he said, oh, and, you know, I would like to see this with you. And I was like, meaning you want me to do this with you what's going on in this video or you want me to do this with a guy and you get the video. And that's when he copped to me.

no I want to see you with a guy and this is someone I've been with a long time yeah have a question from a guy that said like how do you bring up fantasies with somebody what's the best way to bring it up a lot of guys are into this you I have been so surprised to find out how many like really really masculine guys just secretly want to see you fuck another guy you fuck another guy I think it's just like a curiosity a fascination I do think it's like I don't think they necessarily like it but again I think it's one of those things like you're kind of no they love it bothered by it but you're drawn to it both sometimes both yeah that's what i'm saying like there's a little bit of the angst in there a little bit of cuck angst you know but i think it's it it is exciting to see um your partner in a way like a side

of them that you don't know and that i think is the real like it's almost like snooping on them But it's also, I think, comes from their watching so much porn because what a lot of the guys who aren't necessarily cucks, okay, they're like much more stags. They're not into the, they don't have any angst at all. What they love is, it's like compersion. They love seeing their partner's eyes rolling back and being so pleasureed. And then watching that gives them pleasure. And they say typically, and a lot of times I've heard this like, oh, it's like seeing my favorite, like my wife is my favorite porn star. Some guys who are always watching porn don't even when their wives start hot, for them and they're getting videos like they don't even watch porn anymore because they got what they were always looking for. So they like to sort of step out of it and see their partner doing it. And I think maybe it's like a porn for them. It's porn. Oh, for sure. Right. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. They love it. I mean, I get guys asking me all the time. They want to see a video of me fucking someone else. Like this is, this is the number one request. Okay, guys, let's get real for a second. Are you like satisfied by being just like good or good enough in the bedroom?

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That's promo code strictly anon. Visit blu-com for more details and important safety information. and I thank BluCut for sponsoring the podcast it and see their partner doing it and I think maybe it's like a porn for them. It's porn. Oh, for sure. Right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no. They love it. I mean, I get guys asking me all the time. They want to see a video of me fucking someone else. Like this is the number one request. And have you ever done it? With certain partners.

Yeah. I have showed them. Right. So it would have to be with another long-term partner. And like I said, it wouldn't show the other person's face. It's usually like, you know, a 30-minute clip or whatever. Yeah. That kind of a thing. Like I'm not sharing a full-on video showing faces. No, no, you can't. Yeah, yeah, no. I tried to get it. The minute he said it to me and I never thought I was into that. I only thought I was like into coqueaning the opposite way. I said I would never be interested in that. But the minute he said it to me, I got horny for that too. It's like, turns out I'm just down for anything. And so I was like, oh, you know, and I was like, oh my God, I got to find another guy. And I'm like, calling my ex-booty call guy. And he just wasn't available because he doesn't, you know, he's with a partner and stuff. So it didn't work out. But I was like, oh, fuck.

And then I'm like, I'm putting my light on going to the gym looking for a guy. I just gave up because it was like I couldn't find anyone. And it hasn't happened yet. But I think, you know, it's interesting that he brought it up to me over time. And I think a lot of times this is the, for the question of the guy that's like, do you bring up your fantasies and get your partner to open up to it's like somebody has to like change the game someone has to put something out there I think what happened with my guy the reason why he admitted it to me because maybe he's admitted to other people I think he admitted it to me because

I said once to him like oh just you know talking on my show and talking to so many people has really changed me like I'm sort of like way more open to this or that I would have never done a two guys at the same time, but now that I hear so many other people doing, like, maybe I would be down. Like, maybe if my guy wanted me to fuck other people, I would for him. Like, I put it out there that I would be open to it. And then the minute he heard that he caught to it. And this is somebody I've been with for a very long time. So it's like there's so many partners living with people and sitting right next to them their whole lives, you know, not knowing like what they're really into. And it just is about like sort of one person having the guts to, right, to just sort of

throw something out there. And then the other person feels comfortable. admitting their thing to you. Yes. Yeah. I always told people to use, you know, use our podcast as an excuse, you know, like, oh my gosh, I heard this, the craziest thing today, you know, and whatever. And just throw it out there, see how they react to it. Or hit him straight on with it. Like, let's, let's explore this year. Let's try some new things. Let's spice up our sex life. And, you know, you get dialogue going. Yeah. But someone has to be the brave one. I mean, someone has to be the leader. It's not going to happen by asmosis. Right. Right. Yeah, exactly. I think that you do have to, and you know, and like bringing it back to the, like taping and videotaping and stuff. Like, I mean, I do think

partners that have been with each other for a long time if one is very visual or nothing. Like, why not do stuff like that? You do have to be careful because, listen, the happiest couples that have been on my show, you know, two, you know, two years later, they're fucking divorce and they hate each other. You just never know what's going to happen. So you have to be careful. But I think if you're, you're in a healthy relationship and your love. I think it's fucking fun. I like videos and pictures. I'm very visual. I get turned on by what I see. So I do like it. You know, recently I got like a little webcam. I'm like, let's like webcam ourselves. You know, and he was like, I don't want to see myself on video. Yeah. It was like the reverse. Normally it's like the girl. Do you want it to do you want to

do yourself? I had, I had the hottest, you know, video chat with the Russian who's, in Russia right now who's been back in Russia. And we were just, oh my God, it was really sexy. I was surprised. Normally I'm like not into that thing as much, you know, I don't, I know I do it, you know, the guys like to do it more than the girls. I think anyway. Of course. But I was, I was right there with them. I mean, I was totally into it. It was fucking hot. I don't know what was going on. There was some kind of secret chemistry in there. We were just like locked in and it, oh, it felt really good. I came really hard. Will you do it when you're with the guys? though videotaping in like you and him together.

Yes. Yeah. And I think a webcam is good because I was like you could put it on the computer and watch it at the same time. So then maybe you don't even have to have it on tape, but you could be watching it as the same time that you're doing it. You know, kind of like having a mirror,

but not, right? Yes. Yeah. Do you remember like mirrors in those hotels on the ceiling? On the ceiling? I had a boyfriend, big Dick Nick. He put a big mirror up. behind his bed because I loved mirrors and I could just always see him fucking me. I just like love it. Like I like to see stuff. You do too. Oh me too. Oh no me too. God. I would love I would love a

whole room full of mirrors. I want to see every fucking angle like it just no I can't get enough of it. I'm really visual. Yeah I think that um typically guys they think are more visual everyone gets turned on by different things right some people get turned on by what they hear some people get turned on by what they see some people get turned on by what they smell like it's all different things right that could like really activate you yeah i happen to be very visual um you are too right some people are more so than others and i think that's why some people are voyeurs compared to exhibitionist right yes yeah like you've been to a swinger club i would assume if you're like a you know very visual that it would be hot to go to a swinger club and see people like having sex right in front of you some people don't get into that at all

seeing it, you know, but I would assume maybe you did? Yes. It's, it's really fun. You get, it puts you in the mood. It's just kind of like, I don't know, something comes over you. Again, I hate to keep using that word activates you, but it is, it's like a switch, you know, it throws a switch. And, you know, then you're, you're kind of feeling all the chemistry going on around you and just puts you in the right mood. And then you're, especially if you're there with the right person, oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're going to have incredible sex that night. Just putting yourself in that right environment, you're going to be super turned on.

And if you're there with the right person, the sex that's going to come out of that experience is going to be amazing. Now, I'm surprised that I found my way to actually liking people watching me. That was kind of the other side of it that I didn't realize was hot and sexy too. I didn't go there to have an orgy or hook up with a bunch of people. I was just there with a partner that every time I go, I go with a partner. And I found out that I really do like having other people watch me pleasuring somebody. But it's really, it's kind of a selfish thing. It's with the idea that I'm just turning them on so much and they're just wishing that they were my partner.

You know, they want what I'm doing to be done to them by me. So I like that. It makes me feel desired and that's fucking hot. Listen, I also think for any couple out there that doesn't, want to open up their marriage, and I think that's a lot of couples, right? But maybe they want to do something, you know, not so vanilla and cross some boundaries and have a little fun. I think, why not go to... Excellent idea. Yeah, just go to a swinger club, watch, be watch. You don't have to play with other people. You could always stay just together, but you could really spice things up by doing stuff like that, right?

Oh, absolutely. It makes... That's exactly what kind of came out. of it the first, I think the first time. Yeah, I didn't, we didn't really do anything. No, I actually, no, I did get, I did, we didn't do anything. We never have done things with other people. Every time I've been there, I've been with different partners, but I've never done things with other people. Um, but just like I said, getting in the atmosphere and then whether or not you're more in the watcher mode or more of, hey, I want people to watch me mode, that will kind of be, I think, dictated by the crowd. You know, you get there. You get there. You get a, read on it. Either there's a lot of people you want to watch or you want to be the

entertainment. Either way, either way, you're going to have a great experience and nobody has to touch you or be involved with your partner. Right. And that's the fun part. And you just sit there and turn each other on. I swear, you'll probably have some of the best sex of your life. Yeah, I think it's a great, like, first step and it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to lead to anything. That's my point. Because like, I always say like my show, like what it's like here to say is not that This is like for everybody. I don't think it's for most people, this kind of lifestyle. But it can be successful, have done the right way, you know.

But I do think that there's like a lot of ways to sort of live a little bit, like I said, you know, less vanilla by doing things a little bit safer. And it's still super hot. It'll add so much to your relationship. And I love having newbie couples on that have done barely anything and just done stuff like that because I think that that's like could help a lot of other people. like it's a great option. You don't have to go to have an orgy to live it up. You know what I mean? And spice things up in the bedroom. You could just do something like that. I had a couple who just got a fuck machine. And they were like heading to do hot webbing. But the fuck machine was so great. And they were so able to like role play and pretend that like there was another guy there with him. You know, that that was enough for them.

Why not? Yeah. Another person asked about role playing and said like how do you bring it up? How do you make it comfortable. How do you make it good? Are you very into role-playing yourself too? I just did this incredible roleplay with this guy and who was a great dirty talker. And we just had this experience. He's just shoving a doldo in me, you know, lick at my clit. While he's walking me through this whole fantasy scenario and I'm responding back and role-playing it with him. And it was so fucking hot. And it was all about, you know, he was just basically saying, he's going to bring these guys in here and pull a train on me. Right, why now?

And I'm like, oh my God. And I had to tell him how bad I wanted it and why I wanted it because I was just a dirty, filthy whore. Of course, I wanted all these strangers dicks in me filling me up with cum. I mean, it was so fucking hot. And completely Vanoa, you know, I mean, in the sense, right? Just him and I at his place doing our thing. But it was a completely different experience than just two vanilla people having sex. Exactly. And if you're real, I mean, I like role playing, but it has to be with the right person.

Yeah, it has to be with the right person. I was talking about this on my show that, you know, there's some people that, you know, when you're in the mood to dirty talk and you start talking and saying things because I'm a dirty talker, I love some dirty talk. But if the person on the other end isn't quick and can't be quick on their feet in the moment and roll play it and dirty talk just as fast in response, it kills it, right? And then that sort of takes a little bit of the fire out of the moment. For me, just surprisingly, because I'm just getting to know this guy, he just came out of nowhere with this. And I was like, whoa. And I was all about it. I followed his lead. And it was incredible. The hot story we, you know, we created there. And he's just, like I said, he wasn't even inside me. He's just using dildos on me and licking my clit. Why was he never going inside of you? Is that like a thing? No, no, no. I told him that's what I wanted. I was in the mood for that. I was like, I want, I want you to fuck me with this doldow and I want you sucking on my clit at the same time because I wanted to fantasize that I had a woman sucking my clit while he was fucking

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I was in the mood for that. I was like, I want you to fuck me with the stoldo and I want you sucking on my clit at the same time because I wanted to fantasize that I had a, woman sucking my clip while he was fucking me. Right. So that's what you're role playing in that scenario. That's what that's kind of what I had in my mind, but he just took it a different direction.

And then we flipped it. Then we flipped it to mine. Right. And that's what role playing can lead to, you know. I like scenarios because like I think a lot of times people think like, think like girls jerk off to Brad Pitt. It's like I've never jerked off to a celebrity in my fucking life. Never me. Me neither. I think aren't you, don't all girl. I don't know, like this is me and I think every girl is like this. Like we jerk off, like, we think about scenarios, like, hot scenarios. Not like, I mean, maybe if there's an X that you liked or you do, are you are horny for somebody that you haven't fucked yet, you jerk off to them, right? Like, of course, but like, it's never like, oh, you see a guy in a movie and you're jerking

off to the guy in Games of Thrones. Like, you know what I mean? Right. No, it's, no. It's stupid. No, it's never that. You may take the context of what you saw in that scene, but you're going to apply it to somebody that you know.

It's not going to be those stars or that. person, it's going to be your guy or somebody you find attractive that you know. Right. But so if you could like take those hot scenarios that you think about when you're alone and that gets you horny and sort of put them on the table with your guy and then he could role play with you like that could be really fun. I know. That's what I'm saying. That's what we were doing. We were just talking through our fantasies together and then each one kind of verbally, you know, jumped into the fantasy in the proper role. It was I swear there was like something going on. It was really, we were hitting on all cylinders.

Who's his new guy? Is he like a new guy that you? I call him George Michael. He looks like George Michael. I call him George Michael. Now let me ask you this. When you meet these guys, are you meeting them on like hookup apps and they know you're there just to bang or they're like they know your show and they know that or these

guys that you might want to date and you're dating and you're just having this great sex with them? Like what's going on in your life? Sorry, this is supposed to be a Q&A, but I'm asking. I know, I know. Yes, turned up about me. No, basically, yeah, I meet them on the dating apps, and I'm obviously there to, I want to have sex, but I want to friends with benefits. I'm not looking for just the one-offs and things like that.

But big update, I just recently pulled myself off the dating sites. I'm just going to do it. I'm starting out this year. I'm in the wild. I'm just going to do with hang with guys, you know, already good partners that I already know. And if I meet somebody new in the wild, then fine. Could I ask you why you get off? It was just like annoying after a while. Annoying. I need a break. I need a break. I don't know if I'm going to permanently stay off, but I knew that I was really getting annoyed with it. And then somebody, you know, you get that last one, the last guy that kind of the straw that breaks the camel's back. I just had that happen. And I was like, you know what? I've been wanting to jump off for a while. I give myself a break. So that's what I'm doing.

But like this guy that you're with now, like you go into that first. time meeting him. And I know that the role playing time is not the first time, but I mean, you go into meeting up with him in the intention of, like with the intention of having just a booty call with him or like, oh, maybe I could like this person. That's what you're looking for and you wind up having sex along the way. You just maybe haven't made it, haven't gotten, gotten further with him yet. Or do you go in just looking for a boy toy toy? I go in just looking for friends with benefits. Okay. So that's what you're just looking for, right? So you don't care, age, whatever. Yes, but I mean, I still have to, we have to have a friendship.

Like, we do stuff and then we fuck. We're not just, hey, come on over. It's not a booty call. It's not like, hey, swing by and, you know, let's take care of business. Yeah, see, I'm doing a whole booty call. I mean, maybe we could do it now if you have the time, but like I need to do a whole episode on how to have a successful booty call. And I would say that's not the right way.

Oh, I do. I mean, I know how to do that too. I'm just not looking for. No, no, I'm just saying like, you know, do you want like with this guy right like you're having all this great sex but what is it what is what more do you want like you when you say you want to be friends like do you want to be treated like a fake girlfriend to no okay right no but respectfully i mean when we you know when we go out he pays for stuff you know he's a gentleman we go and do you know but we're also do things not just come over and fuck right meaning you'll go at the dinner you go to the movie Do you boyfriend or girlfriend or girlfriend? Yeah.

If that's on the menu, yeah. Okay. And what makes you not interested in maybe like going further with him? It's because you're just really not looking for a relationship or because this guy, you just don't feel like any kind of connection with him or you're just like very anti sort of going,

like letting yourself fall more into someone? It might be a combination of all of that. But honestly, but, part of me there's a part of me that's just like I just don't think I really want a relationship you know and then there's other parts of me that's like yeah no I think I I do because what'll end up happening and this is how it ends up happening if somebody's kind of meant to be you know you have you click better with them that evolves naturally it evolves I don't have to look for it it just kind of happens and so

when somebody shows up and I'm thinking oh you're just going to be a friends with benefits and it evolves into something more, then I'm always open to that too. But I, you know what I mean? But I don't have, I don't approach this with, it has to be this or that. I'm not being super specific about it. And so, you know, hence that there's varying reasons why sometimes it just doesn't. All right, well, you're the person I'm going to choose to do the whole booty call 20 minute episode with, okay, because we're going to get really, really into it. Oh, God. I feel like I have to really, I feel like I need to think thoughtfully, get prepared mentally before I do that one. I won't ask you so much specifically about you. We'll be talking bigger picture. How long

you know this new guy for? About, I guess, five months now. Oh, okay. And do you, is the sex really good? Let's fill up six minutes with him and then, you know, and then, then we have an hour of three episodes. And if you could do 20 more minutes, we could do a couple more questions. But anyway, go on. Is the sex good with him? Well, the sex with him is different. And I'll say, in the sense that he's got a bunch of different kinks and to me those are like

locks that I get to pick so right now I'm just in the figuring him outstage and I'm pleasantly surprised at all these different things that I thought he's presenting himself one way I have a feeling

he's maybe a different way and doesn't know it and it's up to me to pull that side out of him. That's why I'm kind of locked into him. I have a project. Yeah, but is he presenting as an alpha and you know he's a beta. Is he presenting as a beta? And you know he could like throw you around? The first one. The first one. He's presenting as an alpha, but I think he's got beta tendencies desires. He's got some beta desires. You know, and so I'm like, okay, let's see where this is going. Do you tell guys about your podcast? Like, does this guy know what you do in your show so we could

go and listen and know that you're like freaky in the way that you are. Oh yes. Yes. I absolutely disclose all that. And do you disclose that on first date? Yes. Okay. It's on my profile. I don't want anybody to even not have as much information as they can up front to make a decision about whether or not they'd be interested in me. Right. So they know that you're like very open and stuff. And so, so I would assume that they come in then being pretty open and down or like leading with their sexuality. Like that you you go there fast with these guys, I would assume, because they're not going to show up to a curious girl diaries date and think that this girl's going to make me wait three months to fuck her. Right. Well said.

Especially if you're not looking for a boy. You know what I mean? Like I think sometimes it's like, you know, maybe you want to wait. I don't know. I'm never going to fuck a guy that I just met on the first night. And not because I'm prude, but because I don't think that I would like necessarily feel it. I don't drink, right? Take drinking out of.

of the equation and you're going to fuck and fool around a lot differently because alcohol makes you feel things that you don't feel if you're totally straight. You know what I mean? So I don't think I'd ever like go on a first date with a guy and like fuck of a new guy that I never knew. I'd have to like feel comfortable get to know him, you know, whatever and then get horny for him and stuff. But this guy like, did you fuck him the first night, you met him? No. Okay. So you don't either. No, I don't fuck on the first date because I try not to. You know, that's my, intention is not to because I don't want to have that expectation put on me. I just let me just show up and see if I'm even attracted to you like you know let's talk a little bit. Are you smart? Can I, you know,

is there something redeeming about you? I can latch on to. You have to feel chemistry. Yes. I mean, I'm not to, it's not, it's like if you, if you think this is just free use over here, you know, go go get, go pay a hooker. Somebody needs the money. Right. So no, I have to like you. And, So I don't want the pressure of, okay, do you like me? Now can we fuck? You know, no. It's just show up. Let's figure this out.

And then you can fuck on the second date. Right, right. But is the relationship with this guy like more sex than outside of the bedroom relationship? Or is it equal? I would say like 70, 30. 70, sexual 30%. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Right.

So but you're, and that's what you want, right? Because that you're just looking for a booty call. You just like that 30% to be there because you need to be comfortable and want to be friends with them. and, you know, with someone that you're fucking and everything. Yeah, I just can't, I just don't have it in me to be that impersonal. Obviously, I can physically do it, but it just doesn't feel right to me. You know, it doesn't sit right with me. So I just got to do it feels right.

I am always so jealous of the girls that come on my phone, on my show, who are like, wired, like, guys in that they could just like fuck like eight guys that they just met and not know. And maybe like in the moment, right? It's like an erotic thing, right? Like, it's hot. you're on a swinger club and you don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's situational.

That's situate. Like, I can be down with that in, you know, within a specific context. Yeah. But it's just not my normal way of being. Yeah. And unfortunately, guys, I think what they don't realize is girls are, that's how we're wired. Because guys are not wired like that. We all know that, right?

Like they could literally, it's easier for them. They can literally see, you know, you show up with a tight top and you got great boobs and they're like got a hard on and they can fuck you immediately. They're turned on that way. Yes. Whereas girls. not so much. I mean, I've had dysfunctional pulls, though.

Like, haven't you had, like, to me, I always know a guy's like a fucking narcissist when I'm like so horny for him for no reason. Is that what I need to do? Okay, I should be like, should I just show you these guys' pictures and be like, Kathy, are you horny for this guy? And if you say yes, I'm like, he's out of there.

I'm the worst picker. I'm a terrible picker. You're the narcissist magnet. Yeah? Oh, yeah, they see me from across, like, from across the gym. I've picked up the biggest douchebags. I don't fuck them anymore and I'm not interested in them,

but they love me and they wind up to become my really good friends. And I do get a long win. Oh, because my dad was a narcissist. Well, one, because I'm not like, I had a really mean, scary dad and I, like, I chose to, like, sort of stand up to him. So I'm not afraid of, like, fucking asshole guys. Like, I could stand my fucking own, okay?

And, like, guys that are, like, really mean. It's kind of like, you know, and this is like an all narcissist to me. me like people find them so scary and they're so mean and I find them to be like children like they're not scary at all I don't see them as all that powerful and I will tell them to go fuck off right to their face and they love it because most people are like afraid so a lot of times these really scary big dudes that most people find intimidating I don't find them intimidating because I had a very intimidating dad and so I'm just like I can handle a guy like that and not be scared or intimidated or afraid

and I could see through them and know that they're not a terrible person really you know or maybe they are and I just am attracted to them because my dad. But those are the kind of guys I could be totally great friends with and it's cool. And they love me because I'm like really rude to them back and I'm not afraid of them. And I don't take what they say so seriously and I don't start crying. And so we become great friends. And I have a lot of narcissists friends and I'm fine with them. But I'm not into that kind of guy.

Like I don't like I don't feel horny for that kind of guy so much anymore. You know when I was younger though, like I would get like very activated in terms of. on to like unavailable guys and stuff. And that's very common if you're like a commitment fob or whatever. You get like really horny for the person that's going to be exactly like your terrible parent in your life. You know, that's like psychology 101. But what are you supposed to do?

Go after the guy you're not into? Yeah. Well, sometimes I feel like I get, I'm activated by the person I think is like me and then they're not. You know, like I feel like, oh, initially, you know, when you meet somebody, you're you're drawn to things that are similar, right? Yeah. And then you kind of find out they're not.

And then I always go, well, shit, I've called that one wrong. I'm like, that was embarrassing. I totally missed the mark on that. So you like, to me, you're a more alpha girl, right? So you like an alpha guy? Yes, yes. That's what I'm saying, right? Because at least that's how I perceive myself.

Yeah. Now, I understand there's, I have a very submissive side. And so an alpha guy will look at me and say, you're submissive. And I'm like, what do you mean? How did you see that? No, you know. And they're like, no, I can smell it on you because I'm an alpha. I'm, you know, and I'm attracted to them thinking, they're looking at me thinking, I'm a boss babe or I'm, you know, I'm an alpha bitch or whatever, whatever they call it. No. You know, no, they see right through it. And it's just kind of funny. Like, they're attracted to me because they see the submissive thing that turns them on, which I don't see. I'm like, okay, yeah,

we're two, you know, alphas here. We should be attracted to each other. See, I have the alpha guys love me more than anything, but I don't like alpha guys. I like beta. And beta to me is not weak. I like a more easygoing, passive, more like you be the alpha. I like to, I walk in a restaurant. I know where I want to fucking sit. I know I want to order my food.

I want to take charge. Like, I like to be that way. And I like guys that like women like that. There's so many guys that do. I don't know. I mean, alpha men will act like they do, but they don't long term. Okay. Sorry.

You must get guys jumping in your DMs when they hear. hear you talking like this because there's so many guys that secretly just love their shit. Yeah, totally. Don't, I mean, don't you? Yeah, but I'm not alpha in that I like to like, I could, I'm not alpha in the bedroom, but I'm definitely alpha in my regular life. And, you know, so that, therefore, that's why I don't necessarily. And I used to date the alpha guys and all that.

Like that's, you know, that was my younger life. Like I always dated those kinds of guys. But like that to me, I like was sort of my opposite, you know, and like someone who compliments me in that. They're strong and solid, but, you know, more passive to my aggressive because I am aggressive and that is a big part of me. No. Good thing I wasn't born with the desire to get married when I was like 22 and have a big of it because it's not one for most guys. I'm not for most guys.

I'm not girly enough. You know what I mean? I do roll a little bit like a guy, but you know, there's guys out there that like it. Okay, next week we're going to have more. with Layla. So anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for tuning in. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story.

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Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

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