Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1367 - BONUS EPISODE: BJs for VD! A Valentine's Day PSA

Starting point is 00:00:00 Listen, this is just like a quick little bonus episode I have for you today. I have two episodes I'm airing today, my real one as well as this little PSA for Valentine's Day. I'm airing it a day before Valentine's because I want you to make sure if you're going to listen to the advice I gave you in this episode that you could do it before Valentine's Day hits, right? Because I talk all about what you should get for your girl or what you should do for your guy. If you want to get me something for Valentine's Day and give me a nice review, write something nice. So many people emailed me into my email all the time. I love your show every day, hundreds of emails, but not hundreds of reviews. People only write reviews when they're pissed off. Most people don't think to write a review

Starting point is 00:00:39 when they love something. But, you know, if you feel it in your heart on Valentine's Day, because you've been listening to me and you love my show, do me that favor for Valentine's Day. Hit five star or write me a nice review. It would really helps the show and I love reading nice reviews. But anyway, this is my PSA for Valentine's Day. It's my little Valentine's Day ranch. I think you're going to love it. Listen to the whole effing thing. Okay, it's very short, but I think it's entertaining.

Starting point is 00:01:07 And you're going to learn something. I talk about what to get and what not to get. No, what to give and what not to give your partner for Valentine's Day. Lots of stuff about blowjobs and swallowing. I also talk about what to do if you don't have anyone on Valentine's Day. Day. I could totally relate to that most of my life. I never had anyone on Valentine's Day, and I talk about that. I also tell a couple of interesting stories, or maybe we just won about me. I don't know. Anyway, it's a fun episode. It's a short episode. It's a bonus episode. You're still going to get another episode today. That's about as many times as I'm going to say episode.

Starting point is 00:01:48 So instead, I'm just going to get right to it and be right back on with my Valentine's Day bonus episode. No, with my Valentine's Day bonus episode. Day, P-S-A. I'm not going to say happy Valentine's Day, even though it is Valentine's Day, because for people who don't have a partner, it's not Valentine's Day, okay? I am a person that it's not like I've been with one for 20 years. I've never been with anyone longer than like two and a half years, I think, with my longest relationship. So, you know, the way I always felt about Valentine's Day is that, you know what? Why would I celebrate it if I'm not with someone? It's kind of like celebrating your birthday when it's not your fucking birthday.

Starting point is 00:02:36 Do you know what I mean? Like if you don't have a partner, Valentine's Day doesn't exist for you. And who the fuck cares? Okay. I used to love going out on Valentine's Day solo because that was the only time you could go to an effing bar and know exactly who is available and who you could hit on without being disappointed that they're taken. Seriously.

Starting point is 00:02:58 I just always thought it was like the best night to go out. So I'm going to give you a little public service announcement for Valentine's Day. A, one of the things I want to say is if you don't have somebody, it's not your day and who the fuck cares. Seriously. If you do have somebody, okay, and you're a girl, don't get your guy balloons or stuffed animals or anything like that. Just give them a fucking blowjob.

Starting point is 00:03:23 You know, no questions asked blowjob. Like just a blowjob. You don't have to do anything from me. you just sit down, I'm going to blow you, and swallow. Make sure you swallow. Even if you don't ever swallow, even if you hate swallowing, even if you never have in your whole life, swallow. That would be like the nicest thing you could do.

Starting point is 00:03:42 And it's really not that bad. I swallow, I always have, just fucking swallow your guys jazz for Valentine's Day. He would like love you, I swear. Seriously, it's that easy. And a blow job, I'm telling you, if you do it the right way, is not going to take that long. All right? Make sure you lube up your hand with your spit. Okay, use your hand and your mouth at the same time. You don't have to deep throat when you're giving a blowjub to make it good. I've heard that. I give great head, okay? I swear to you, I do. And I don't know how to deep throat. You don't have to.

Starting point is 00:04:14 I've asked guys, like, how can I give such good if I don't know how to deep throat? They're like, deep throating isn't even that great. Like, it doesn't even feel that good. It's kind of like squirting. Everyone thinks, I always think, oh, I want to swear because it's going to be like the best orgasm. No, not really. It's just like a trick. Just like swallow. I'm not swallowing. Swallowing isn't a trick. It's just like a circus trick you could do that I'm very impressed with girls that could deep throat. Okay. But I can't. I want to, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. But it's not that great. You don't have to deep throat to give your guy a great blowjob. Like I said, use your hand and your mouth at the same time. Make sure your hand does. is wet, spit on it. Make it fucking wet, okay? And then jerk him off and blow him at the same time. You could grab his balls. Every guy likes their balls touched a different way. If you're with the same

Starting point is 00:05:09 guy, you know how he likes his balls touch. Some guys really like them touched a little bit. Some guys like them touched hard. Some guys don't really fucking like him touched at all. So if he likes his balls touch, touch it at that at the same time. But what's the most important thing I think you should do is like fucking swallow, especially if you've never swallowed before. You know how happy your guy will be and how impressed he will be? And I don't know if you're like me, but I have an ego. Okay. So if I do something, I want to do it the best. And if I give someone a present, I want it to be the best fucking present. So if you have an ego, then make sure you give the best blowjob. And to give the best blow job, you should swallow.

Starting point is 00:05:51 And if you're not going to swallow, then take off your bra and let them come on your tits or do something hot with it afterwards. I don't know what people do. Maybe that's what people do. See, I've always swallowed it. I've never not swallowed, so I don't really know. I almost always assuming that people that aren't swallowing

Starting point is 00:06:08 or like pulling their mouth away and just letting it go and you know what I mean and looking horrified. What do girls do that don't swallow? What I would say, if you can't swallow, If you can't take one for the team, even on Valentine's Day, to prove your love, then, you know, make sure you let them come on your tits or something. Make it hot, okay? And then for guys, do the opposite for your girls.

Starting point is 00:06:33 Send her flowers at her work. Now, if you're listening to this, I'm probably airing this on Valentine's Day. It's probably too late to do that. But I would say that that is a really good thing to do for a female on Valentine's Day, okay? the times that I have had guys of my life, anyone that sent me flowers at work, cha-ching, they always got massive points for that because, you know, it's like everybody looks at you and they're like super impressed and they're like, your guy looks really effing good. Okay, and especially on Valentine's Day. Let me tell you, there are a lot of girls with guys that send them flowers on Valentine's Day.

Starting point is 00:07:15 So, you know, if she's looking around, your girl, and there's another girl in the office that's getting them and she doesn't, she's not going to probably swallow when she gets home. Do you know what I mean? So why don't you make sure, I should air this the day before things for the day before Valentine's Day. Or no, this is going to actually air very early in the morning. So it's still time. Okay. All you guys that really want to impress your girl, send her flowers to her flowers to her. work. No, you know it's post-COVID and nobody's fucking working. So then I don't know.

Starting point is 00:07:50 Okay, if she's not working and she's working for home, do something that she loves. Like, as much as you love a blowjob, what does your girl love? Does she love to watch the real housewives and begs you to watch it and you never do? Fucking watch it with her. The whole point is do something for her that is what she absolutely loves that you don't. Like that blowjob, a lot of women don't like giving head, but she's going to give you the best blowjum. If that's what you want to do for you and you want her to swallow even though she's never swallowed before or fucking hates jiz, but she's going to do it for you, then do the same for her, okay? Whatever it is, she likes that you are not into. That's the thought that counts. Like when they say the thought that counts,

Starting point is 00:08:35 that's what it's about. So like with the swallowing for the girls, it's like the thought. It's actually the action too. You're going to love it. But it's the thought that. that you're doing that for him. Do not. I told you ready, right? No balloons. I remember having a friend who had a guy who worked for him. And his girl was very vanilla.

Starting point is 00:08:54 And he loved her, okay, totally loved her. Was, you know, in it for the long haul. This was his girl, but he wasn't satisfied in bed.

Starting point is 00:09:02 And guys talk, you know, so we would all talk when we would go out to dinner and he'd talk about how his girl never let him, like she was very health conscious and she was very uptight about food for her. herself as well as for him. She had like food issues and she definitely projected them onto him. So he wasn't allowed to eat anything ever. She was always watching their meals. You know,

Starting point is 00:09:21 they were married and the kids meals and stuff. He said on Valentine's Day, I remember one day him saying that like he came home. And you know what his girl had for him? His wife, the girl with the eating issues that never let him eat anything. She had a burrito at a table, a burrito on the table and a balloon tied to the chair. Oh, my God. And he was like, I would have rather had a blow job. And I'm like, you know, right there. Duh.

Starting point is 00:09:51 Like, of course. And this is where there sometimes is a disconnect. Probably for that girl, she would love to eat a fucking burrito, okay? Like she was projecting onto him what she would want. You know, this poor girl was starving herself. She had eating issues. So probably for her, the best thing in the world on a holiday would be to eat something really unhealthy. But that's not her guy. This isn't what he wants. Okay. You got to think about somebody else

Starting point is 00:10:18 when it comes to presence. Don't think about yourself, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Now, personally for me, if I was dating someone and they put rose petals, like from the door to the bathtub, I would get dried up from that scenario. I would actually laugh. It would be so stupid to me. but I am not normal, okay? I am not the normal girl. 99 women out of 100, and I would be a part of that, would love that scenario, I think, because I see it all the time.

Starting point is 00:10:51 I love reality TV, I watch it all the time. Okay, and I see this scenario where the roses on the bed, and they do it in these hotels, and on the honeymoon, and then to the bathtub, and the girls go mental for it. So I suggest that, too. If she doesn't work in an office, and you can't send her flowers, do that flower thing that all girls seem to like.

Starting point is 00:11:13 And girls, no balloons, no, you know, cutesy things for guys. I don't know. I live in New York and I don't think younger girls do this anymore. Younger girls are way different. But I remember when I was younger and I'd be walking around on Valentine's Day and I'd see these poor couples walking around. It wasn't poor couples. It was the poor guys.

Starting point is 00:11:34 Like they'd be walking candid hand with a girl and they'd be holding on to like a bunch of balloons and you'd see in their face like how embarrassing but like what are they supposed to do because their girl got it for them or like a fucking stuffed animal or a big heart box of chocolates and i'm just going to tell you straight up why i'm so harping on the balloon situation is because i learned the balloon thing the hard way when i was really young okay if you listen to my 500th episode you know that one of my first boyfriends i dated i was very young like 15 or 16 he was 21 i think it was probably an illegal relationship. But I was dating him. He was the bartender. He drove in a car. You know, I didn't even have my license yet. And it was his birthday. We were dating. And I really looked up to him and was

Starting point is 00:12:17 really into him. And for his birthday, I was always into giving presents. I went all out and bought him like a dozen balloons. You know, I'm fucking 16 years old. I don't know what to buy a guy. It's my first boyfriend. So I get him this. This is so hilarious. So, I give him those. He goes home. Thank you so much. I think I brought him into work or something. I don't know how I gave it to him.

Starting point is 00:12:43 But he lived close to me and maybe like two days later. I went over to his house to meet up with him. Oh my God. I walk up to his house and what do I see stuck in the tree in front of his house? Is all the balloons I gave him. Of course, he was so embarrassed and hated the balloons that he was. let go of them when he got home. They got stuck in his tree. And I never forgot that lesson. Don't ever buy a guy balloons. I mean, come on. What was I thinking? I was 16, okay?

Starting point is 00:13:18 But learn from that 16 year old. If you're 25, if you're 45, whatever, don't buy guys' balloons. Don't give them a burrito for Valentine's Day or for any day. Don't project what you want onto someone else. give them like the basic things that men and women want. Men want blow jobs. Women, you know, they want flowers. They want romance. You know, if I worked in an office, I work from home, but I would like, I am the girl that wants.

Starting point is 00:13:50 If I'm in an office, you know, I want to be one of the girls that's getting fucking flower sent to me. And not deli flowers, okay? Well, you can't send deli flowers, but that's another thing. Like, I don't know. And most people don't have deli flowers in the suburbs, but in the same. city. If you're going to give a girl flowers, don't give her deli flowers. I think that doesn't even count in my book. I'm snobby when it comes to flowers. Getting a nice arrangement of flowers.

Starting point is 00:14:15 And if you're getting her roses, you really want to make her happy. This would make me happy. Buy her double. Not just one dozen, two dozen, three dozen, like go all out. If you're going to send them to her work, make it better than any of the other roses that were sent. to the office. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you get where I'm going? Girls are competitive. Make her have the best. She'll be happy. I don't know. This is where I'm projecting how I feel what I would want. But I think that girls are like that. When they do like those rose pedal things, you know, put some rose petals in the bathtub maybe. I don't know. But anyway, I just wanted to send out a quick Valentine's PSA, like I said. I was trying to think, oh, what

Starting point is 00:15:03 could I put out and I was going to put out a bonus episode, but I'm like, I'm just going to talk about Valentine's Day from my perspective. If you are single, like I said, I've been single many Valentine's Days in my life. And who cares? I never cared. You should not care. It's a great night to go out and meet somebody because you know for a fact they are available if they're out by themselves, even guys that are unhappy with their wives.

Starting point is 00:15:33 and girls that hate their fucking guys. Everyone's with each other if they're partnered up on Valentine's Day. So if you go out, it's the best night to go out. Because you can meet tons of people because everybody that's taken is out. It's like weeds out all the unavailable people for you. So be smart about it. Don't give a shit that you don't have anybody. Who cares?

Starting point is 00:15:56 It's like I said, it's like it's not your birthday today. Big deal. If you're alone and you are lonely, and you want to meet someone, go out. If you're like me, you don't even care that it's Valentine's Day, stay home. Definitely write in and let me know if you're a girl and you swallowed for the first time, I would like an email telling me how it went and maybe like a thank you note from your guy. Just do it.

Starting point is 00:16:26 If I could get one girl to just swallow. I mean, just swallow. Don't taste it while you're swallowing it. Don't smell it. Did you ever like do an oyster? I do it the same way. Just like fucking open your mouth and let it go down and don't think about it. Oysters are fucking gross.

Starting point is 00:16:42 If there's anyone out there that eats oysters but doesn't swallow jizz, let me tell you, jizz is a lot easier and better. I would rather swallow jizz all day than eat one oyster. Okay. So I'm sorry, girls. If you are out there or guys and you love oysters, Swallowing cum is so much easier and less gross and taste better if you ask me. Unless your guy does drugs, you will taste it in his cum.

Starting point is 00:17:13 But you don't have to taste it, just like fucking swallow. Let me know how it goes. If you're a guy and you, for the first time of your life, you set your girl flowers at work. I want to high five you, let me know. But anyway, anyone who's coupled up, have a great Valentine's Day. to anyone that's not, have fun tonight, go fuck a stranger, go pick someone up, go give your number to somebody, go out and have fun, or stay home and don't give a shit that you're alone, because it doesn't matter.

Starting point is 00:17:45 Anyway, thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that I do have a book. The book is called Shickly anonymous confessions, secret sex lives of total strangers. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category. that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuckold story. There's a gang bang girl story. There's like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person.

Starting point is 00:18:19 I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show. You're going to learn a lot. You're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to, hear these stories, like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an e-book available if you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book. Get the e-book. It's available. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you'll get the Discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks, okay? It's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there and everybody

Starting point is 00:18:55 shares content with each other. That's what's great about Discord. You get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there. It's a super fun place to be. I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my Discord. It is private. This is the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link. And that's why I think my Discord is so great because I have vetted people. It's not like it's just open to the public. So everybody that's in there are people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great. So my Discord is fucking great. My book is great. You're going to love it. If you buy it, all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it and I will give you free access to

Starting point is 00:19:29 my Discord, send it to Strictly Anonymous Podcasts.com. You could find my book in the link in the description, okay, or just Google at Strictly Anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. You can find it anywhere. You buy books. Send me the picture and I'll give you access to my Discord email, strictly anonymous podcast at Gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book

Starting point is 00:20:02 but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about

Starting point is 00:20:19 on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct.

Starting point is 00:20:43 It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skisker. around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy

Starting point is 00:21:10 my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

Starting point is 00:21:38 It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

Starting point is 00:22:07 So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.

Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1367 - BONUS EPISODE: BJs for VD! A Valentine's Day PSA

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