Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 139 - Susan has Major Trust Issues with Guys

Episode Date: August 15, 2016

Susan has major trust issues with guys and it's affecting her current relationship and making her crazy. What's gone down in her past to make her so distrustful? Is there something she can do to make her more trustful someday? Tune in to find out plus hear all about her open relationships with men and how it affected their relationships plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift like it's not given. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts. Kathy Kay and Tommy.

Hey, welcome strictly anonymous podcast to Kathy. You want to follow the Strictly Nonymous podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Stricted Anonymous or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. That's on Twitter too. If you can write a review for my show, it's always very helpful, write a review on iTunes or Stitcher, wherever you listen to my podcast. If you want to be on the show, I'm always looking for callers. You can send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

I'm always looking for female callers especially. Lately I've been getting people. All of my female callers, by the way, most of them, I don't find them on Craigslist. Most of the time they're listeners of the show who send me an email. Guys write in all the time that they love my female callers, so I'm always looking for, and there's more just more guys on Craigslist. So I'm always looking for females as well as guys to call into my show.

So if you want to be on the show, write an email, It's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. The woman I have on tonight, Susan, she didn't email me. I actually did find her on Craigslist. And she was, she has issues. She has issues with guys. She cannot trust guys. And there's a lot of reasons for that.

And we get into all of it. She was posting online like that she, like thought it, like, she didn't want to have girls that were friends anymore because she thinks all guys will fuck. other girls if they're friends with them I don't know it was this whole thing but really what we discuss what we get into is you know why she doesn't trust guys what's happened to her she gets involved in the nitty gritty I think I use that term a lot in this podcast because she's like you know goes on and on about like you know the specifics of like

how she caught people cheating and all that stuff but to me there's a much bigger picture picture that's going on with Susan. And if you listen to all the, like if you, you know, have patience with all of that stuff and listen, get through it and listen to it, you'll get to the good stuff, which is like I said, the bigger picture, you know, how she doesn't trust guys, how she can learn to trust guys. I think I give her good advice, my typical advice, but, you know, I try to help her because I think it's crazy making. when you're dating, when you don't, when you have trust issues. And I think that a lot of people can relate to that because I think it's a common problem. I know I had this same issue when I was

younger and it sucks. But like I said, so, you know, we discuss all of that stuff. So I'll be right back I went, Susan. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? show, well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Hey, Susan, welcome to Strictly Anonymous podcast. You're on with Kathy.

How are you? I'm doing fine. How are you? I'm good. So I feel like we have a lot to talk about and I don't know where to start. But what I'm going to do is start with the issue that you have that you want to call in and talk about that I saw on Craigslist. But then there's a lot of other things. Like after you checked out my podcast, you're like, oh, I've done this and that.

And so I feel like, we got a lot of good stories from you. Let me tell you my listeners love when I have females on my show because I don't get a lot of females on, especially females who are open with their sexuality and have tried a lot of different things. I think guys, I think it's what it is is their biggest fantasy that women are as intersex as they. are, you know. So when they hear from one, that really is and has done stuff and been, you know, I think that they really enjoy it. So anyway, I have a feeling that we're going to get into a lot of other stuff. But the issue that you have right now that's going on, you're dating someone or married? What's the deal? We've been together for four years. Okay. So why don't you explain what's going on? Okay. So I guess it's more like what happened in the past, in past

relationships. I'm 47 years old. I've been married three times and also had relationships. So each marriage, none was longer than eight years. Okay. That's pretty long. Yeah. Well, I'm just, you know, got married when I was 19. And issues were always, if I had a girlfriend that I had known for a long time or possibly just met, then somehow they start flirting with my husband or my boyfriend. And so, you know, and of course, guys kind of, oh, yeah, have fun with it, you know, sometimes, sometimes not, you know. But for the most part, you know, I've ended a lot of relationships because there was so much flirtation going on.

And I thought, wait a minute, he doesn't do that with me. or he doesn't do that with me anymore. And now he's flirting with my girlfriend. Oh my God, there's nothing worse right in front of your face. I mean, I know that, you know, I've been in that position. Yeah, it's very difficult. And so you kind of want to start not seeing that person anymore because you don't want it to go in the wrong direction. Yeah, of course, you're afraid that your guy's going to like, they're going to do something behind your back.

Let me ask you this, though. Like, have you ever had an experience where something actually went down or has it always just been like the flirting? and then you nip it in the bud, you stop being friends with that girl and everything's okay. Second husband, he was flirting with a girlfriend of mine. And, well, you know, we both worked opposite shifts. And so one night, you know, one day I'm like, hey, can you babysit for me today?

Because I don't have anyone to watch the kids. It'll be a little bit longer than usual. So then she'd be at my house. And, you know, the normal thing with her was, you know, if we had a couple of beers or had a couple of wine coolers, you know, for the longest time, I never saw her drink more than like a diluted, say, wine cooler. It was always diluted. And with, you know, with soda or something. And then so here one night I'm at work and she says, hey, I call up and, you know, is Brad, you know, he's he home yet? And she says, yeah. And she goes,

well, I'm going to go ahead and leave and then I'll come back later because, you know, we're just going to have a few drinks because it's my birthday. And I got off at 11 o'clock at night. So what I just said, hey, well, why did you just stick around, you know, just hang out? And, you know, I'll be home pretty soon. And so I come home. Oh, oh, she calls me back at the restaurant and says, hey, I just was wondering if you could run by and go get some more wine coolers because I've been a bad girl.

I drank them all. and I'm freaking out because wait a minute this girl never ever drank more than half of a diluted wine cooler and here she is sitting at home with my husband and having finished the rest of the wine coolers that were there yeah so it kind of freaked me out and just a little bit of background in knowing her we kind of talked about how you know how she behaved in relationships that she had before were like girlfriends where she She would, she liked to compete and move in on the guys. She told you that to your face? Yeah, yeah.

And that she would do this, but only, and I looked at her and I just said, hey, don't you ever think you're going to do that to me. But wait, you didn't finish your sentence. Only when? Only if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Not if they were married. Oh, that's where she drew the line. Yes, that's where she threw the line. So I was just like, so why do you do that?

And she goes, well, it's just for my pride. I just, you know, my ego, I feel so much better that knowing that I can actually take a guy away from a girl. I go, but that's your friend. And she goes, well, you know, you know, but it's just kind of a thrill. And so I just looked at her and I thought, wow. And we looked like, you know, our looks totally different, you know. So if a guy was into boobs, I'd be it. But she was absolutely totally flat.

But, you know, and so you kind of, I guess I kind of wish that what he's, his taste was me and that he wasn't going to go after my girlfriend. Right, of course. So it's flirting. And, you know, that night when I came home, she's wearing my clothes. And I'm like, why do you have my clothes on? And she said, well, we were kind of fooling around and I popped his beer bottle and there went, he poured beer all over me and all this kind of stuff.

And I'm like, pissed. Wait a second here. This is just a little overboard. You're wearing clothes now. out. And so she was like, well, you were just a little paranoid. And I go, okay, well, you know, I'm really tired. So let's have a beer and I'm going upstairs, going to go to bed. And she refused to let us go upstairs to our bedroom, just kept whining and whining that we should stay downstairs because this is her first night spending the night there and that she's our guest and that we should abide by what she wants. And he was just like, yeah, yeah, let's just stay down here. And I said, no. I go, she would. Is she, what? She was. want to make sure that you're not going to fuck me. And, um,

because something I think is going on all of a sudden. And so he's like, oh, you're just crazy. You're paranoid. And I go, no, I just know,

she's never had more than half of a wine cooler. And it's always been diluted. So all of a sudden, she's had so much. She's wearing my clothes because you guys fooled around so much that she had to change. So no. She told you to her face.

That's her MO. I mean, it's not even, I mean, exactly, right? Yeah. And I told him this. So then he goes, and he goes and he says that, oh, he's got to help her with her car.

And the next morning she's got to help her with her car. He's taking a little too long, helping her with her car. And he and I kind of started talking after she left. And he said, well, there's nothing going on, I promise. The next thing you know, I'm talking to his friend who's starting to tell me this whole story. And that, yeah, well, something happened. and Wait, his friend

Like snitched on him And told you that he was with your friend? Yeah, yeah, we kind of talked for several hours About my suspicions And he kind of had a dilemma with his girlfriend And so he was asking me What do I think about that situation? So in the conversations

We had like maybe two or three nights The conversations on how he thinks something's going on With his girlfriend and how something's going on with mine So So then he goes, okay, I'll have to let you know, this is what happened. So, anyway, so I I talked to my husband

and... But wait, what did he say happened? Well, he says that they did mess around while I was at work. Did he fuck her? They did mess around and that he told her. Yeah, that he told that he told him. You know, how he

was able to do that with my friend right inside my own house. So, and he thought that that was, and it was really hard to believe for me, as far as my husband went because he was very shy, very timid, just a very quiet kind of person. So, you know, puts an alcohol in him and he's a total party animal. And not only that, you don't understand, like, you know, listen, a lot of guys are very shy and timid, but if a woman is super aggressive, like, that's all that they need, right?

Like, maybe she was super aggressive with him. Most women aren't that way. So that's why that kind of guy is typically like a safe kind of guy to be with if you don't want him cheating, right? Because he's not out there hunting, right? But if you have a girl like your girl, which I think they're few and far between, but they exist. I've had friends like this. And we all know women that are kind of like that.

They really are very needy of people to like them. And they'll like, fuck your boyfriend or your husband, you know, then that girl is going to, you know, go in for the kill. So she was probably, you know, everything that he needed to sort of cross that line and have a little variety in his life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So what happened was. with that was, you know, he told me he was leaving me. And I asked him why.

And he says, well, because, you know, I want to be with her. Oh, my God. First of all, you, wait, let me just ask you this. So you confront him and you tell him I heard that you factor. And he cops to it and says yes. Yep. Okay. And then you don't say, like, get the hell out, pack your bags and leave.

Like, you don't break up with him. He actually breaks up with you. Yeah. He tells me that, well, he wants to leave me to be with her. after one night or did this go on for a while before you found out we were friends for we were friends for a few months so i don't really know i know like i came home one night from work we she met we she and i met at working at the same restaurant and then i quit working at the one restaurant where we you know met each other at and worked a different and so i i'm i i'm doing laundry we had to go to laundromat

because our washer and dryer broke out so anyhow so you know i'm i'm wearing like triple d's and here I find an A cup bra in my house. Okay but is this before or after that one? This was after. This was after after. Okay. So how, but let me just ask you really quick. How long after that day, okay, that she basically was, did you, were you told?

How much time went by in between that? I say about a week or two. Okay. So within that week, you go to the laundromat and you find another girl's bra and your shit. well no I didn't go to his laundromat I'm saying we did laundry at the laundromat yeah what his was right we found that I found a bra in my basket that was

clearly not mine and and I asked him about it and he says no he goes you know he goes when I was doing laundry the other day he goes there was a lady who was doing her laundry and maybe I accidentally picked it up and I go well yeah if she was sitting there doing her laundry

maybe she would have seen that her bra was coming to you. No, I don't think so. You know, I don't think so. But you still hadn't had your proof and he was denying it, which makes you crazy. Yeah, they were still pretty much denying it at this time, right? Well, you didn't have any proof yet because that guy hadn't told you, but you suspected and you were getting a little crazy, right, of course. Right. So within that night of me seeing this bra, you know, like I just said, well, this doesn't make any sense. I mean, you really kind of try to let me figure out how this bra got into my house. And folks like hers.

And so, you know, and we're still, we're both home. But all of a sudden she comes over to visit and she goes upstairs and she brings down the bra and I'm thinking, how hell did she figure out anything about this bra? He must have called her to talk to her about this bra. But she does it right in front of you? She goes upstairs. She uses the restroom and she comes down with a bra because it's still in the basket. And she comes down with the bra

And she goes, oh, look Look, Susan, this isn't my bra She goes, it's just too slutty And I go, really, a bra is slutty? And I go, it's a bra And I go, and it isn't along in my house But how the hell did you find out About anything about the bra?

He and I just talked about it Like less than an hour ago Why, you just walk into the house And go get the bra Like you all absolutely knew about it Okay, so did you just throw her out of your house and stop talking to her. Oh, yeah.

Get the hell out of here. Yeah, definitely. Okay, so then two weeks later, right? Fast forward, right? Right. Yeah. Right. So I find out that from his friend,

well, one of his best friends. That they've been doing it. Yeah. And he says he wants to leave you for three weeks of, like, sex with your friend? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I don't really know how many opportunities he had with her. But when we thought he would leave the house.

So who knows if he went straight to her house. Yeah, but it was only a couple, it was only two weeks. And that was, was that the first time, let me ask you this, when you found out the truth, was that the first time they had ever been together that one day that she was drinking? Or were they having an affair for a lot longer? I do not know. Okay, because it's very odd that a man would leave for a two-week fling, his wife. Well, no, well, okay, let me say in between, and before that night where I came home and she was wearing my clothes, you know, he was, like I said, he was playing with her, like he never played with me, you know. So they were, there's a lot of flurers.

And snowballs. Yeah, throwing snowballs at each other, you know, stuff that, you know, I'm thinking, I'm sitting in the van going, wow, you know, he never gets playful like that with me. And we had been together for like three or four years at that time. Right. He was just interested in this new attention he was getting. And she was probably very, you know, flirtatious with him. And he was loving it.

And she was loving it. So this was the buildup. And then she drank so that she could get the courage to just like, fuck your husband. So anyway, you guys divorced. And this probably makes you. Now let me ask you this before going into that relationship, like were you always like really paranoid about your friends with your guy? Or was it after that?

Never. It was after that. Yeah, that's going to make you crazy. Uh-huh. He told me he was leaving me for her. And so I told him her M-O. You know, this, she's not going to, she doesn't want to be with you. She just wants to know that she can conquer.

And that's all. And so she really doesn't want you. And so. He goes, well, we'll find out. So he actually goes to see her and comes back home and tells me that I was right, that she wasn't interested in a relationship with him. So he was bummed, and I was just like, I told you, you know, I had no reason to lie to you because, you know, we had talked about, you know, if you ever decide you want to be with someone else,

tell me it's over. Don't cheat on me. However, that's not exactly what happened. but I'm usually a pretty calm person and so I said so what do you want to do do you want to try to work things out and and he said yeah I you know I go he goes I'm really sorry I did that and so yeah so that didn't last very long because he cheated two more times after that yeah of course I mean how long did you stay with him after that? About another year I was just I was I had gotten pregnant like three or four months later and I was going to ask if you're had any kids with any of these guys. Yeah. Yeah. And we had a first child. And now, now this would be my, my third child, because I had two other children. With the first husband.

Yeah. So anyhow, yeah, so while I was pregnant, you know, he was going to school and going to work. And, you know, I just thought, well, one night he, why, why do you come home so late every night? What time are your classes over, you know, and school wasn't probably, four miles away from the house. So he's coming home at 10.30 at night. And so I'm like, you know what? We only had one car at the time. It's like, let me just drive you work.

I'll drive you to school because I really need to use the car. I need to go shopping. And I can't wait until tomorrow or the next day. I just need to do it tonight. So I dropped him off at school and I kind of came back a little early. He says he's, oh, sorry, let me go back. I asked him why he kept coming home so late. And when school was so, you know, was over 8.30,

yet he's not shown up till 10.30. And he's, well, I have to drive this guy home. Yeah, and after he cheated on you, all this stuff like there, you know that, you know, this is going on again. Yeah, and you just need the actual proof. Yeah, so he just goes, oh, it's a big black guy. He's really intimidating. And I'm like, you're a six foot five Marine. Why in the world are you talk?

Would you be intimidated by anyone? You're intimidated by some guy? I go, didn't he go to school before he met you? How do he go to school before? Why are you obligated to take him? What the heck? So I go and I'm like, I want to see, is he getting out of someone's car? Is he actually going school?

Is he like having them drop him off back at the school or something? So anyway, so, you know, he's still sticking with a story that some guy that's really intimidating and he has to give him a ride. Right. So I'm laughing. I'm like, yeah, this is ridiculous. So I go and I sit there and I wait. And, you know, because I said, well, I'm going to meet him. Let me drive him.

I'll drive him home. So that's all of a sudden he comes out when, you know, 830, he comes out of class. And this guy, there's no guy. There's nobody coming to get a ride. To man make a ride. And I asked him, so where's this guy? And then he goes, well, he quit school. How do you know?

One day, you know, and this is back in the day when we didn't all have failed cell phones, right? So how did you know, after only one night of, you know, going to school where I'm driving you, last night you drove him, and then all of a sudden today he's not there and all of a sudden he quit? But just, you're such a liar. How do you find out he was cheating again the second time? His friend told me. The same friend? Yeah, same friend. Did he know that that friend was beating you?

information? Well, he didn't. No, he didn't because Did you ever wind up poking up with that friend? No, no. Okay, because sometimes I feel like only a guy's friend would do that if he like sort of wants to, you know. Yeah, no, no, no, he had actually. It's very odd for guys to snitch on other guys. They have like a something that women don't have at all, obviously, because look at what your friend did, but they have a brocode typically, what I've seen with guys. I mean, listen, they'll go after you. the minute you guys break up and they will do that. But most of the time, they will not snitch or tell on, you know, their friends, like what they're doing behind their wives back.

Like, I've never, that's, that's very rare. I know. That sounds really crazy. And you would think that that's what it would be. But you were lucky. He was complaining about the girl, the one he was complaining about, you know, just, oh, does this seem odd? You know, what would you expect? Could I ask her to throw away all of her pictures of her?

of her giving other guys blow jobs because she's got a shoe box full of these and I was just like, wow, okay, so how did you meet this girl? You know, because you're so wondering about all these pictures if those are in the past, you know, you're just dating her so you really don't have it right to ask her to throw anything away and even afterwards. I mean, well, that's up to you guys

and that's up to her, but so then I find out he tells me, well, well, you know, this is how I met her. And now remember, he's six foot five, my, my ex-husband, six-foot-five, this girl is like four foot nine. And they had actually, he was, my husband was dating her behind my back while I was working and had a babysitter at home taking care of our kids. So he was cheating on me with her.

And then he said, hey, you know, Ralph, come on and see, come on up, come on to the bar and, you know, check her out. I want you to meet her. And then she, she had. asked him, she goes, well, is he really married? And he says, yes. And he goes, she goes, well, what about you? And he goes, well, I'm going through a divorce. She goes, okay, you'll do. Okay, so she left your husband for him. She jumped my, yeah, from him to the next guy. Of course, and he's got all these, you know, it's like, okay, so my, my husband kissed her.

What did he, she fall on him and he kissed her? Because he's pretty tall and I have to actually bend down to get this kiss, right? And he goes, yeah, listen, you know, this is a Susan, you know, like you're still, like, this is what this, listen, I've been cheated on in relationships and I know what happens. It drives you mental and it, it stays with you for a very long time. It ruins your trust for people and you become a mental patient. You talk about this situation. This was your second husband. It was probably a very long time ago. And you're still analyzing as if like, almost like you don't know, like you're taught, but yet you do know. You know what mean, you're so involved in the diesel and I think that it's still something that you haven't resolved.

And I think it's very difficult to resolve it. Well, yeah, he just, he's just been cheating on everyone ever since, you know, because- Yeah, but who cares? He's not with you anymore. You're married to somebody else. You eventually, he eventually leaves you or you leave him. I mean, you stay with him for a year afterwards. We agree that it's not working.

That, you know, I was reduced to, oh, you, you just said, you went you to the store. Let me see the receipt. I want to see the timestamp. you know you should make you crazy he's still making you crazy susan okay and you're with somebody else you're still stuck on all the little details and so that was that was that was one relationship right so then the next one later on i find out that you know all the time that he's playing around the next relationship he's he's he's on his phone and he's you know playing games on his phone and we're together for five years and then i find out he's he's been on his phone talking to

his other woman all this time and she's from work and And yeah, and then he's flirting with my girlfriend who, you know, who comes to the house after, you know, she doesn't, she didn't really hang out before. Like, she never hung out like the other girl that hung out at the house. But, you know, they're flirting with each other. And I'm, you know, just like, why? This isn't this relationship now. This is somebody else. It's a different one.

No, no. Yeah. In this one, I have, in this one, after all the relationships I've had, I've just felt like, God, you know, I would love to have, we're in a new town, we actually moved from Washington to Texas. And so where I absolutely don't really know anyone, my girlfriend, who I've known since high school is, you know, far away. She's down in Houston. But, you know, she's married. She's married to the same guy forever.

And I'm not worried about her, but, you know, at the same time, I don't want to make a new friend to bring someone over, even as a couple, to come hang out with us and do it. anything, go to dinner, have barbecues or anything, because I'm so scared that... Because you're very paranoid. Of course, because you're... I know. It's like, you know, history repeating itself. It's happened to you twice? Two different guys?

Say that again? It's happened to you twice with two different guys, right? Oh, no. It's happened more than that. Okay. How many times? Just don't get into the details. How many times?

How many guys? How many relationships after that first one? Every relationship? Four. at least four. And then eventually you met a guy to marry him. And you married this guy. Well, no, actually, we're not married.

We're not married. We've been together for four years. Okay, but all the relationships after that guy, everyone cheated on you. And now this one, you've been together with him for four years, and he's been faithful, I'm assuming, up until this point? Yes. Yes. Okay. And what you were looking for advice for, what you were freaking out about, is that you're just so afraid of having women friends now, right?

because you think that if you do, your man is going to go and like whatever and history is going repeat itself because it's just what. Well, not even so much. It's my man. It's just more that the woman that I meet will end up flirting with my man. And, you know, and then, and I don't, just don't want to even put that temptation out there. That's my, that's my problem. Right, but you have to understand that it's not, right, but you have to understand that

it's not like, like, a woman could come in and change like any man, like your friend. Like a lot of guys I know. cheat. A lot of guys I know don't cheat. I mean, it's like there are just different kinds of guys out there. There's a lot of guys that I know that doesn't matter how hot someone's friend is. They just wouldn't do that kind of cheating. Do you understand? So it's not so much the girl. I know that you like it's not like you could marry the like the greatest most faithful guy and some flat chested acop will come in who's needy of attention and get him to stray. No. Right. You know, like attracts like they're kind of on the same page and what happens and yeah i'm saying and in

in all that i'm uh the band that i'm with is someone who cheated on his wife when he met me well of course because that's what you're going to attract this is what happens and i've been there so i totally understand when you are so afraid of somebody cheating on you you that's all you think about that's what you put out that's the only story you know, that's what you attract to yourself. Do you understand? Why would anybody who's afraid of cheating marry someone that they know is a cheater? But you know what? It happens

all the time. Because real life, shit, and emotions never make sense, right? It's like it's the antithesis of what you should do and people would be like, what are you crazy? But I totally get it. That's what people do all the time because unfortunately, you're going to attract distrustful people because you don't trust men. Do you understand? Because you're, and I And I get why you don't trust them because you were in a horrible thing.

I had a friend whose sister fucked her boyfriend and she watched the whole thing go down. He was in a famous band and they were on tour and she saw them flirting in the head. Oh, yeah. Well, that was the first thing. My sister did the same thing. See, there we go. My sister messed around with one of my boyfriends, you know, at 16 years old. Yeah.

See, that's happened to my friend when she was very young, very early on too. I mean, she was like in her early 20. So these are the things that shape our future relationships. So it's not, you know, it's not a coincidence that you wound up with all this distrustful people because that's just like what you believe. And it's like you really like need to re, you need to tell yourself a different story. And it's the only way that you'll ever attract a different guy. There are guys out there that are faithful.

Yes. Do most guys cheat? Yeah. Listen to my podcast. A lot of guys do. But a lot of guys, there's a lot of guys on my podcast. If you listen to it, they're cheating because like their wives after, you know, so many years don't want to have sex with them anymore.

that's why they are, but they really love their wife and they wouldn't do it. And they're looking for people and they would never fuck their friends. And it's like there's a lot of different reasons for it. When someone's just doing it because, you know, their ego is fed and they want to get their rocks off with your friend and they think, you know, it's hot to have sex in the house with a friend, which I get a lot of times, I talk about this on my podcast that cheating sex can make a certain kind of person very horny. And it could be really great sex. But there's a lot of guys that wouldn't play that fucking game. But you're never going to meet that kind of guy until you learn how to trust men. And that comes from trusting yourself.

At this point, you can't even trust yourself because look at what you do to yourself. You don't trust men. You have been burned in the most horrible way. I think it's horrible what has happened to. It's crazy making shit, you know? And yet you still go and continue to, you marry guys who literally were cheating from the start. So it's a definite thing that you are going to not trust that person.

So there you go. You actually, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you know what I mean? So it's almost like the trust comes first from yourself. You have to learn to trust yourself that you're going to take better care of yourself. At this point right now, because of your history, you're not taking good care of yourself. You're marrying the wrong people. You're hooking up with the wrong people all because of all the stuff that has happened to you.

So it's not about not having friends. It's not about the God. working on yourself, like for real and getting past all these little nitty details about the laundry and the bra and all the stuff from so many years ago and all these little things and start to really get to like the inner stuff of where when this happened, all the pain that you felt and like sort of face it and like learn from it and move on eventually. And that could take a really long time, you know, but you have to start doing that work for yourself. I don't know if you ever been in therapy, you know, after all these things have happened to you

to try to, you know, figure out how to come to terms with it. Have you ever done that? Talk to anybody, been in therapy? I was for a very, actually very short time, just started, and then we ended up moving out here. Yeah, you need, you need, you need therapy. And I hate that it's always like my go-to thing. I've been in therapy many times in my life. I believe so much in it.

It's like really, really helps you. Sometimes people are dealt really shit cards in life and they have terrible childhoods or bad things happen to them that we, you know, we don't look. for in the beginning, but once they happen to us, then they create a very bad pattern in our life moving forward. I get that. I wrote a book. Every relationship I've had, I've been terrible. I'm 47 years old. I've never been married once. I think that's just as kind of fucked up as being married three times doing everybody cheating on you. You know what I mean? It's like just as kind of dysfunctional, right? Yeah. And people say to me, well, you know, and if he's cheated with

you, he'll cheat on you, you know? And even if he didn't, you know what? The problem is, Susan with a situation like that, even if he doesn't, okay, and didn't, we don't know yet. You don't have proof of this one. The problem is that you think that he will, and that's what you're attracting to you. You're keeping yourself in that place of distrust. That's what you can't get past. Yeah, you don't trust. I'm afraid that he will if given the chance.

So what doesn't even matter if he does or not? Because you're literally living as if he has already, because you picked somebody that will do that to you for sure. because how would you ever trust somebody who's cheating, who cheated with you, that they're not going to cheat on you? You picked him on purpose. And listen, there is a, it's a 50, it's a crapshoot.

Will he, has he? Who knows? But that's not the issue. The issue isn't your girlfriends. The issue isn't him, whether he's going to cheat on you. The issue is how tortured you are in your life. And when are you going to decide to that you don't want to be tortured?

Like, who cares about being with a fucking guy? You need to fix your relationship with yourself. Like you go from relationship to relationship, but you need a better relationship with yourself. Like that's what you need to be focused on, not all these nitty gritty details of like all this cheating and stuff and being a detective. Because that just keeps you away from the real stuff which is going on, which is like probably the first time that this happened to you. It was the most devastating thing. It ruined your trust. And you never resolve those feelings.

And so they're still in there. and they're really ruining your life and your relationships. Because listen, no guy wants you to be distrustful and nagging and, like, suspicious all the time. You know, especially a guy that cheated on you before, you know, I mean, please. So it's just like it's not fair to him. It's not fair to yourself. I don't behave that way. Actually, I don't behave that way with him.

I just kind of quietly, if I need to check on something, we've talked about it and just said, you know, hey, I'll give you all. my passwords if you give me yours. Okay, that's good. Why? And he says, well, and I boom, I said, well, because here's how I feel. If you're an open book and let me see everything, then I know I can trust you. And if I can check and I

find nothing that makes me feel better, the longer we're together, the longer I don't find something, and I understand the fact that, yeah, gosh, you know, if he wanted to, he could create a whole new email and have emails go to that one instead or something like that.

Yeah, he's always, he's always home. I mean, work is literally a quarter of a mile away. And sometimes I am being driven crazy. You know, he hasn't cheated on me, but so far as I know, and then I hate that feeling as I keep thinking so far as I know. Of course, right. Yeah. He starts to see me at lunchtime, and for some reason he's too busy, you know, he's not coming,

he's not calling and so I go by his work and see that his car is still sitting there okay his car's sitting there okay but then I in the back of my mind I'm going what it was somebody could have picked him up at work you know and I and I hate thinking that way because yeah it is absolutely torturing me right and it's not him and it's not your it's not an issue with girlfriends it doesn't even matter that you don't let him it doesn't even matter at this point it's terrible for you I don't care about him he's not I'm not talking to him he's not my friend I don't give shit what he's doing. It's you. I'm on the phone with you and you have a real problem and I feel for you as a woman because I've been there. Every woman that dates a guy that is distrustful or has been cheated on

or had the rug pulled from underneath them and was betrayed understands it. Guys too. Okay, I've had guys on here who have been cheated on and it's the same shit, you know. So I, I totally feel for you and this is your problem. Finding out, looking at his phone, you're not going to build the trust with him until you learn to trust yourself. That's what it's really more about. And you have to go back before you could go forward. It's not about him. It's not an issue of like, I'm never going to have girlfriends again.

I know that you think that that's like the fix, but that isn't. That's like a Band-Aid. The real issue is you have major trust issues with men. And you'll only attract men who are distrustful until you fix that. It's not for a guy to come into your life and change that. What will happen though? Listen, once you start. working on that part of yourself and you start to believe that there is a guy out there that

could be trusted you will attract you will start attracting that type of person it doesn't mean that you know you're never going to meet a person you know but once you start to be open to that right now I don't think that you are open to that I think that you still live in that other story and the details of all that stuff and it's crazy making and listen this guy right now hasn't done anything but you still feel that way any guy would make you feel this way this one even more so because he cheated with you, you know? And like, what were you doing with a guy cheating

when you've been cheated on? Like, that's kind of fucked up. People would say, but I think it's very common. That was the thing is when I met him, I had no clue that he was married. Right. But this is the thing. It's like, right, but I have to just say, because I don't want to get stuck on the details

because I want to talk about the bigger picture, which is you need some fucking therapy. Is that we, like, I was very unavailable and commitment phobic. So, you know, I would see a guy across the room and how would I know that he's another unavailable commitment vote? But sure enough, every guy I would attract myself would be that way. How did I know? I didn't know. I could say the same thing. I didn't know that he lived far away or he, you know. It's like, but we smell it.

On some level, we know. Do you understand? On some level, we attract the perfect situation to us. And unfortunately, sometimes the perfect situation for us is something that's going to teach us a lesson or something we need to learn. You need to learn how to trust men until you get it in your head that maybe you can trust men, you will never attract one to. You only attract these kind of guys. And it's not a coincidence. It's exactly what you're putting out. And you could all, I've heard it a million times.

I didn't know. It's like, no, you know on some level. We all know those kind of things. It's like we smell it. We attract it. There's subconscious shit happening. Well, yeah, I understand what you're saying. Actually, my husband told me that this guy that I'm with now was married.

So that situation was my husband at the time, my third husband, wanted me to be with a woman. other men. Right. Wanted me to that's what I was going to say because you told me that you... Right.

So the third husband... The third husband who also cheated on you too? I suspected, but I don't have any... Okay, but so eventually he decided that... I found lies that didn't make sense. Okay, but let's get to this other thing that is an added twist because I know that when I said, hey,

check out my podcast to get a vibe of it. You know, before we confirmed, you said, oh, I looked at the titles and I've done a lot of those things. I've had a gang-bing. I've screwed guys in front of other boyfriend. You know, you've done all that kind of stuff. So was it with this third husband?

The third, yeah, my third husband was, well, he wasn't the first person I had this kind of relationship with, but, you know, the one I was married to, he just said, you know, he was really, he was in, he was in Afghanistan. And he, you know, we're talking on the phone and he's like, I really, you know, it would really turn me on to see you with another guy. So will you do me a favor and put up an ad? find a guy and go on webcam and do it in front of me. I'd like to watch it.

And how did that make you feel that make you horny? And you're like, yeah, like, I could totally get a tip. It didn't actually. It didn't because, you know, I was in love with him and I didn't want to be with those people. And he got to beg me and beg me. I mean, how did you feel? Like, literally when he said that, how did it make you feel?

I felt like, are you trying to get me to do this so that you can have permission to do it yourself? Okay. That's how I felt. And I said, you know, what you need to do is not ask me again. Just don't ask me this again. Because I was in a relationship before that was like that. And I did do this for the other guy.

And, you know, and it turned out that, God, he was breaking holes in walls because I didn't come home when he wanted me to because I was with another man that he had, you know, it was his, he started it. Oh, my God. So, oh, my God. And then he stopped trusting you. So now he's pissed off because, hey, I'm having way too much fun with this guy, because what I was supposed to do was just go and fuck some guy and then come back after this guy came inside me so that he could go down on me. And I thought that was just the most disgusting thing.

So interesting. Yeah. So I just kind of like, okay, well, let's spice things up. Let me try this. And then, you know, and I like to be around people. And so, hey, you know, this guy just, you know, really got me off. so I'm going to stick around for a little while. And yeah, so he would get upset and it really wrecked our relationship.

How many times did you do that with him? How many different guys? I lost count. So a lot. Absolutely lost count, yeah. And then let me ask you this, because at first, like you said with this guy when he asked you to do it, it was kind of, you didn't feel good about it. You felt like why the hell is he doing it?

When that first time it happened and you had that kind of open relationship with the first guy and he said it. How did it make you feel then? Were you just kind of into it? At first I was. Okay. At first I was. But then it was more of a, he pushed me so much. You know, like, come on, I'm tired. I'm taking care of seven kids. And you're sitting here asking me, go get myself made up and go out meet somebody, you know? And I'm just like, oh. So you constantly did that for him. Eventually it became for him. Okay. And then he became a, he wasn't ready for it. It's like what he wanted and maybe you were kind of into it, but it just turned messy, which unfortunately could happen in those situations. Some people are successful at doing stuff

like that, but you guys weren't. But you put me at risk and it wasn't something I really wanted to do because I want to be a faithful person. So I don't want, you know, because I just don't feel like, you know, cheating is wrong, you know, and it's absolutely wrong. But you weren't really cheating. I mean, he didn't consider it cheating because he wanted you to be with someone. But for you, it went against your morals. But the fact, the interesting thing is that, like you still did it. You know what I mean? Exactly. I did it because I wanted to make him happy. So, and of course, then later on, you know, he had told me about fantasies and things like that. And so I said, okay, well, I guess we could try. Because I had never done that before. So I thought,

okay, well, I just want you to know that you're giving me permission to do this with, you know, anyone, you're putting our relationship at risk, number one, because I could fall for the guy. And number two, because I'm not going to go trying to find 12 guys to do it with when I find one person that really clicks, then I'd like to stay with that person. Yeah, that's how women are. We talk about that all the time. Yeah. Yeah, and absolutely continue.

So anyhow, and I said, and I'm not going to give you permission to fuck other women. That's just not even going to be there. That is not okay with me. And he was okay with that? Yeah. He was okay with that. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And so, anyways, so that relationship didn't work out. Because of that. I mean, but you had been with a lot of guys. Right. And not because so much because of it. Well, he was cheating on me. He was the one that was on the phone all the time, clicking away.

And I thought he was playing games, so I didn't bother. him while he was on his phone, but he was texting someone all this time rather than playing games, right? Right. So he was also cheating on you, but he was also jealous, though, when you were with these other guys that he sort of brought into. He was a mess. Okay, so fast forward to this guy, your last guy, he decided to, he said, you go to it.

You didn't feel good about it, but yet you still did it. What did you do? You put an ad out, and then you found a guy? I found someone, yeah. And it was like a month later, you know, I just kept telling him, no, I don't want to do it. So I said, just don't because I really don't want to do this. And so, you know, very persistent. Oh, and I was 18 years older than this guy.

And I was just trying to tell him, you know, out of experience, out of experience, I'm telling you this is not a good situation. I don't want to do this. You know, you and I can do anything. But when it comes to bringing other guys into the relationship, that's really, I mean, you will probably get jealous because I'm not just going to find someone, you know, different people all the time.

I would like to, if I do, this is what's going to happen. And I said, and I'll tell you, this is what's already happened, and it's never worked out well. Right, right, totally. But he didn't care. I'm really strong. I'm really strong. I promise I can handle it.

I can handle it. Right. I was like, okay. But you know what? You weren't honest, because it wasn't like it was just about whether he could handle it. The truth is, like, what about you? Like, could you?

Oh, he knew I couldn't handle it. You knew I didn't want to do it. But it sounds. I'm scared. You focused more on how he felt. And once he said he was okay with it and you're warning him, it was more about like how he felt. I mean, because to me in a relationship, if you say no, I'm not into that, that's what

it is. I'm not into it. Like, why wasn't the conversation? And they're like, no, that's, I'm totally not going to do that. Well, I did say, yeah, I said I didn't want to put our relationship at risk and that's where I stood. But really, it was more than that. You didn't want to do it.

Right. I didn't want to. Right. So you did it. So I ended up doing it. Yeah. And I let him watch. And, well, you know, the first guy that, you know, he watched have that happen.

He said, you know, after it was over, we talked. And he says, oh, my God. He goes, I could never, ever heard you make those sounds before. I'm really jealous. You know, because this guy really made you get off. And I haven't seen you like that. And so, you know, I kind of want you to stop. And so I said, wow.

Okay, well, let me ask you a question, you know, because like I said, he was 18 years younger than me. And so he was 23, 23 at the time. And so I said, okay, well, he was big into skateboarding. And, you know, we'd spend $300 on a skateboard. And so I go, okay, let me just ask you a question. I go, as much as you bugged me to do this now that I've done it and absolutely loved what happened, now you're telling me oh no no no never mind let's not do this because now you're like didn't I tell you that's how you were going to feel didn't I tell you that something was going to come up but that was

okay I mean but he was honest and he and so you told him and it happened and you needed to figure that out on his own probably someone could have told you the same thing like hey listen this is what's going to happen but your people want to do what they think that they sometimes people think that they could handle things so he didn't and he didn't like it and that's his right I mean there's nothing wrong that doesn't make him anything other than a human being. Like sometimes you have to try something out. So what's the big deal? Exactly.

So did you stop or did you continue? No, I told him, I told him no, I'm not going to stop. See, that's where, okay, Susan, that's where you're kind of fucked up. Okay. I mean, that's a little fucked up. I mean, that's where you become the person. Well, I thought it was pretty fucked up that he wanted me to do something that I. You think you shouldn't have done it.

I know, but then you shouldn't have done it because then what happens is then you're getting him back and you're doing it. And like at that point, like, that's not like, it's like, it's like, it's not like a team player. Like there's no couple going on there. It's like you against him. And I, and I think that that's what happens in distrustful sort of relationships because you don't trust somebody. So it's always kind of like against them and you think they're kind of against you, you know? So to me in that situation, you didn't seem very empathetic, whereas you should have. Instead, you seemed a little bit revengeful. because this guy said, you know what? I was like really jealous.

And you of all people, right, should understand how he felt because whenever that's happened to you in the past. And some people could say, well, why do you care that they cheated? Like, didn't you know? Like, I mean, you stayed with that guy who had fucked your girlfriend for a year after. And then he fucked other people. Somebody like you would say to you, well, didn't you know? Like, that's what he did.

So he deserves doing it again. I mean, it could be the same argument, right? But who does that? If they know that something's hurtful to somebody. and they have empathy, they wouldn't do it. But yet you continue to do it. Because for you, the fact that he didn't listen to you in the beginning is that, so then even though he changed his mind and said, I don't like this, you were like, screw you.

Let me finish. Hold on. That was like right after he heard all this, you know, all the moaning and all that. So he says, stop. And so I say to him, okay, well, let me just ask you, since you. you know, let me just take you to a shop and let me show you, you know, the best skateboard in the world. And I just told you that you could have it. You take it home and you ride it once and you will absolutely love it.

And then you say, then I tell you, you know what? We got to take it back. How would you feel? This is what I said to him. So this was our conversation. But then I said, okay, so this is what you're doing to me. So he says, okay, okay, I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have done that to you.

So, but could you stop? and I said, well, I'm just letting you know that, you know, this is something I didn't want to do in the first place. You beg me to do it. I did it. And so I said, okay, fine. I won't do it. Now, after that, you know, I kind of just threw that story out there to him about the skateboard because, yeah, oh, my God, I totally enjoyed it. You know, it was, it was absolutely fun.

And I had permission at that point, right? So, okay. so I'm letting him know that this is something I really didn't want to do but here you go gave me something that you know wow I know you're very stuck on that but like you know listen that's just human nature he wanted you to do it right right no no I understand that part right so a week later after he's asked me not to do it and of course I didn't do it it he calls me up again from Afghanistan and says hey I changed my mind I really want you to go back and do it again mm-hmm and

And so I said, oh, come on, really, do you really want to? Because look at how you're jealous you got. You know, I don't want this. I don't want this to happen. And he goes, no, honestly, he goes, I want you to go ahead and, you know, so anyhow, so it continued. And it continued for a couple of years, I guess. And then I met the one I'm with now. And did you cheat on him with this guy?

Well, no, I didn't. It wasn't cheating because I had his permission, right? Oh, so he was a guy that answered your ad while he was with somebody else. So he was married. Right. He was on. He was married for looking for, and he answered an ad that you had like, let's fuck on a webcam so my husband could watch.

And he was with somebody. And this is the guy you married and you're a distrustful person. Oh my God. Yeah. That's the guy I'm with now. But, you know, and everyone in that relationship, listen, that whole webcam thing with that guy, you were both very naughty in that. And you were both wrong.

I mean, you have to take your part of that. You cannot sit here and say that stupid skateboard story that you have because you could apply that to a lot of things and it just it's not a it's not a fucking skateboard these are people's feelings and people are a lot more complicated than a skateboard okay so that little story doesn't really apply because it's like it doesn't it's just very cold to sort of look at things that way but i get that you said no and then he said do it again nobody there was being the response like nobody was like the responsible adult you already saw that it didn't work out you had done it in the past you didn't say no to begin with because you were experienced

in this. You knew what could happen. You said it's not going to be good. He said, let's try it. Even when it didn't, and he didn't like it, and then he changed his mind, you still were okay to go back. Like, who doesn't say, no, this doesn't work? Do you understand? Like, it's just like, and then, but you blame him. It's like you have to take a part in your stuff. You have to take part in the fact that. I understand that completely. I understand it completely because I said, hey, you know what? He wants me to do this. And why not? Well, because you liked it. And you liked it. Sure. So that's where, right. And so that's what happens with guys who cheat. They fuck your friend and it's really good. So then they keep doing it.

Do you understand? And so like maybe you do that kind of behavior. It's like your way of sort of understanding. But in a weird way, you're not, and I've said this from day one, like you're not that trustful either. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a trust thing with you too on some level. So, and that's...

When I said no, I said no, right? No, you don't say no. You just... No, I did not. You change your mind when he changes it. That's not you saying no. That's you saying no. And then when he says, yes, you change your mind.

No means no. Like if I say, if I don't want to do something, I say no. And that's it. It doesn't matter what the other person says. Okay, I understand that. And at the same time, yeah, sure, I'm going to use it as an excuse. He kept on bugging me and bugging me. So I thought, all right, forget it.

Okay. That's the only time. Susan, okay, listen to me, Susan. You are very interesting and very complicated, like most human beings. Okay. I just think you need some serious counseling to be able to, like, sort of fix your situation. I don't believe, like, listen, do guys cheat with women? Like, this was your question on Facebook.

Like, you're really looking, I mean, on Facebook, on Craigslist. Like you're really wondering, will all guys cheat with a friend? Like, I'm a nervous to have a girlfriend. So you're going to not have girlfriends. Who cares? It's going to come up in different ways. You know? You, so you really, it's about the bigger picture. It's about the deeper problem, which is there is something. There's a dysfunction in you that you need to. At this point, it's dysfunctional, right? It started out probably at some point that it was just something that was done to you. You were a victim. You lost your trust. And then because you avoided sort of going there and dealing with all the feelings and resolving them, which I know is hard. I didn't do it either. Like, we all want to just sweep shit under the rug and think, we'll just meet a new guy and he'll be trustworthy and we'll trust him. And it's that fucking easy. It's really not, unfortunately. It travels with you through your whole life if you don't want to focus. It's just the way that it goes. Watch Oprah. Like they talk about this shit all the time. And it's true, unfortunately. You know what I mean? It's unfortunately. It's true. Okay. So all this, it's like all this nitty, gritty stuff and all these kind of

solutions and all the stuff that you sort of focus on right now. in your life is just more crazy making stuff and it's just keeping you in the problem. And it's just keeping you in the same place, which is you are avoiding a lot of stuff in your own life, in your relationship with yourself. And you go from relationship to relationship with all these people. So you probably have not had many times that you've been alone to really focus on yourself and work on yourself. You could do that with somebody. You don't need to be totally alone, right, to do that. But sometimes some people that run from one relationship to another would do well to take a year or two years off to just really focus on their own shit and see what comes up.

Because sometimes we stay in relationships and we create problems in them as a distraction. Right now, you are just so distracted by all this bullshit, seriously, and all the stuff that it just is keeping you away from something that you need to face. And that's what it's all about. And it will never, I will guarantee you 100%. It will never go away. Those thoughts in your mind will never go. away until you decide to like, you know, look at yourself and take a deeper look into things.

I'm telling you, it's just the way that it goes. I've worked on that part of myself. I get it and I understand. And it's a terrible place to be. This man, you will never, you're not going to trust him until like, listen, you could stay with him and work on yourself. You need to work on yourself. Stop with the friends who cares about them.

Stop with the looking at his car. Maybe you're still going to do it while you're in therapy. But get yourself some serious. help and work on the, I don't know what happened to you. A lot of times, I mean, we're almost at an hour. I like to keep my podcast about an hour. I would love to do a part two with you. But like, you know, what happened before your sister fucked your boyfriend?

Like there's always things that we could go back to. And I believe in that. Some people are like, oh, I don't believe in therapy because I don't think anything happens when you're younger, it means anything. And that's like the most ignorant thing I've ever heard. Okay, because all of that shit, it's so ignorant to think that way. Because everything that happens to us when we're really little and younger and the relationships that we see with our parents and the stuff that goes down completely affects us.

It's just a fact. And if we don't, if we want to pretend that it doesn't and we want to keep being psychos our whole life, that's fine. But you only live once. You're going to die. You're 47. You have so much more time in your life to have like relationships that are, you know, about love and other things that relationships should be about. Your relationships are about distrust, drama, and nonsense, you know? Yeah. And it's not healthy for you. It's, it's not healthy for you. it's just really not. And you're on your third marriage, you're 47. This one's probably not going to last if you don't get a grip.

It doesn't matter that you're not saying anything. It's even worse almost because it's like you're losing your voice. You're just keeping it all in. That makes you more crazy. Okay. So it's like seriously like you need to get yourself a good therapist. I say this all the time on my podcast because I've been to therapy and it's life changing. There are stuff that like, you know, therapists who are really good.

And I've said this a lot too. Like you, it's very hard to find a good therapist like anything else. hard to find a good hairdresser. It's hard to find a good anything because I believe 90% of people out there are garbage and 10% are good. So you have to look for that 10% are right. So you might have to go to three of them before you find one that you know is fucking smart and is going to help you, right? Because a lot of them are just as they're more of a nut job as you know, you or me or anybody, you know what I'm saying? Like they're even more dysfunctional because then that's why they became therapist. So you have to watch out for those. So just because you go to one and

they're not so good or they didn't do anything, doesn't mean shit. You probably we went to a bad one. If you find the right therapist, they could really help you and it could change the rest of your life. And you owe that to yourself because you are a crazy person worrying about stuff even when it's not happening. And I promise you that will never change unless you do something about it. And it's not not having girlfriends or finding the right guy and keep divorcing guys. It's not any of the solutions that you think it is. It's really just working on yourself, unfortunately. To me, I love that kind of stuff. So I don't think that that's a bad sort of thing to have to do. Once you get into the right therapist and you get with the right therapist, like, you might love it. I think most people would. Like, who would it want once a week to go? And like in the beginning, you'll just be able to go and just talk about all your nonsense and the little, like his car was there and then it wasn't there. But, you know, but eventually they'll really help you get to the deeper stuff. But how great would that be that every week you could just go and let that shit out? Because you just said, like, you keep it inside. That's, you know. even worse, you know, if you had somebody that you're paying that has to listen to you that

is there for you and will like, you know, very kindly sort of go through the process with you and help you, that would be really beneficial to you. And you would probably enjoy it and look forward to that time. And then you will be, you know, and it takes time. Listen, it's not going to happen six months, you know, you might need a couple years. But I find that when I have found the right there, and I've had a lot of bad therapists, but when I have found the right one, a good two years in therapy, like, does you very good. Like, and it's great. And I enjoy it because I think life is about bettering myself. And I always feel better. Like, you know, my life gets better after I work on certain persons. Like, that's the, that's the good news. It's like working out. If you work out really

hard, like you actually look better. Like, if you do this, you will feel better. Right now you don't feel good. And it's not about controlling all the other people. You can't control the women in your life. And you can't control the guys. And you're going to keep attracting these types of guys. So forget about that. It's about changing yourself. unfortunately. But fortunately, I think it's a good thing. I think it's a great thing.

Like I said, I think you need serious help. It's not this nitty, gritty stuff anymore with you. You've been doing it for so long. Aren't you tired of doing it? Aren't you tired? I'm absolutely in love

with a guy that I'm with and I kind of feel like, you know, I feel that I can trust him, but then again, I don't. Right, because you have trust issues. Maybe he is the right. Maybe he is trustworthy.

That's what I didn't say that he's not to be trusted. I don't know. That's what I said. But that's not the problem. You're not, if the problem is you can't even enjoy your marriage and you really love him. You don't want to be on a fourth and a fifth and a sixth marriage. This is your third.

Like try to make this one work. But the way to make it work is to work on yourself. And then you will either learn to trust him or not. Like you don't know. You have to see what that happens. Like I said, it's 50, 50 crapshoot. I don't know. I don't know what he's done behind your back.

Maybe he's done nothing. Just because someone has cheated once doesn't mean they're always a cheater. I've had people cheating on my website. Yeah, because there's different situations. Okay, listen, there are different situations for everything. There's different kinds of cheating. So I don't know and I don't want to get into what his was because the truth is no matter what kind of cheater he was, even if it's the one that you could trust, you won't trust

him because you have trust issues. Do you understand? So it doesn't really matter. I can't talk to you logically. It's not going to work. I know that because even if you know. know in your mind, oh, his car is there and everything's fine. There's another part of you that believes that story that's going to, it's like you against

you. you. It's going to tell you these terrible things and make you feel insecure and make you feel suspicious because that's at this point in your life where you're comfortable and what you're used to and what you believe. Okay? And that's never going to go away until you go back and fix all that shit that happened to you when you're younger because you don't trust anybody, including. yourself.

And you just have to do a little work on yourself. And I promise you, like, listen, you're my age. We all know, time goes by fucking really fast when you're in your foot. Right? I mean, like, what's a year or two years? Does it? Yes, for me, it does. I mean, it goes.

One more time. I didn't hear you. I said, you know, what's two years? It goes by fast. When you get older, like, time goes by very fast, right? So if I say, like, you take two years of your life and go to that, like, it's not a long time. It'll go by in two seconds.

And you'll be a better person. You'll be happier. Maybe it won't be completely 100% change. It's not the movies. Okay, you don't change after, you know, at the end so magically. It doesn't have, but it happens over time and things do get better. And that's a, that's a guarantee. As much as it's a guarantee that you will not get better if you don't, you need help.

We all do, okay? We can't figure it out on ourselves. Like, you've needed help for a long time. You don't need another husband. You don't need another negative female friend. That's not what you need. You need help to fix. your issues and make yourself whole again.

And that'll help your relationship with your guy. I'm not saying you should need to leave your guy. I don't think you should even focus on that. You just focus on yourself. Yeah, I understand that completely. Can you please? Can you please, like seriously not let this week end without you like Googling and finding a couple

therapist and going on a therapy session. Please. It will, no, it's what you really, really need. And I promise you if you find the right one, you will actually really enjoy it. And you just have to give a time. And it will actually, it will really help you. Okay. Okay. And keep me posted. I mean, I know you also said that I'm just going to say this and my listeners are going to be like, oh my God, why aren't you giving me the details? But let's just tease them. Okay. But like I know, you also said in your email that you've done gangbanks. And so I think there's a lot more stuff out there

and stories that you have that we could do a part two. But I'd love a part two and an update from you like in a month and you say, hey, Kathy, you know what? I did see a therapist and after eventually I found somebody and I've been talking to them and who knows what's going on or six months from now. You know what I mean? Like I'd love to check back in with you and see, you know, where you're at. Because this is real life stuff and I'm sure a lot of people could relate to you. 20 years ago, I could have totally related to you.

Do you understand? That's why I know what's going on because I've been there. I'm not judging you or looking down on you or anything like that. I was you. I get it. And you, it's like, and I just know though how much better you can feel and how much happier you can be. And that's why I really wish that you would listen to me and do it because I know for a fact

it'll help you from experience. Okay. Yeah. In the meantime, you know, don't have girlfriends if that makes you feel a little safer. Like do things to make you feel a little less crazy. But the therapy and the therapist is what's going to help you not ultimately fix it for real. Okay, Susan. So please keep me posted. I'll check in on you and let me know how it goes. Good luck. All right. Thank you. All right. Bye, Susan. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book,

it's called Strictly anonymous confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like

that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is a. available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your

own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of content. We have lots of contest where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Sent it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com with your story. and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous.