Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 141 - Adam has had Numerous, Long-Term Affairs

Episode Date: August 29, 2016

Adam has been married for a very long time and he's been cheating for a very long time. He has had numerous long term "monogamous" affairs with other women while remaining committed to his wife and family. How does he cheat, why does he cheat, and how has he not been caught? Tune in to find out plus hear all the details about his numerous, long term affairs as well as his stint hooking up with high end escorts. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift like you've got to find giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome Strictly Anonymous podcast to Kathy.

If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. If you want to be on the show, this is a call-in-advice show. I'm always looking for callers, and I get so many people now sending me emails. It's great because I don't have to go on Craigslist. But, I mean, I still go on Craigslist because I get people there too. But if you want to be on my show, I'm always looking for people, people that need advice, people that want to talk about the secret life, people that just want to explain

like an interesting lifestyle that they have, like all of the above. And then maybe there's another category I haven't thought of. Send me an email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I'll have you on the show. Today I have a guy who was a listener and who sent me an email. His name is Adam. And Adam, the title is Adam has had numerous affairs. He really has had a bunch of affairs. Very successful affairs. And his affairs are not like one night's It's not like he cheats like, and this is why I have so many, I have a lot of cheaters on my show or like I've had this same topic like a man who cheats on his wife. But there's so many different variations of it. That's why I think it's always so interesting to have another one on because it just goes to show that you can't just say, oh, someone cheats on their wife and that's the end of the story.

You know, that's like lazy kind of thinking or lazy kind of listening because really what you need to know is the specifics about that guy. cheating. And all the specifics that are always like very different. And this is a guy who cheats on his wife. He's been married for a very long time. He's cheated on his wife for a very long time. And he's had numerous affairs. And like I said, his affairs have been very successful relationships. So it's interesting. It's interesting how he's been successful, how he's been able to do it. He's very happy with his wife. And he's been very happy with his girlfriends. And he's been very happy with his girlfriends. And he talks all about it and explains, like I said, how he sort of lived a double life and did it successfully and was very happy, like I said, with both his wife and his girlfriend.

So instead of repeating myself another fucking time, I'm going to just be right back on with Adam. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hey, Adam, welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast.

You're all with Kathy. How are you? Good, Kathy. How are you doing? I'm doing great. So you were a listener of the show, right? That's how you found me. Yes.

I did a chart search and found your very highly rated podcast. Yeah, there you go. And so you emailed me and I mean, you know, I'm going to have you explain most of the details, but I'll start it off. You're married for like 33 years, right? And you said something interesting in the first paragraph to me, which was like, oh, you know, you're married. And even though you guys sleep in separate beds, maybe your sexual relationship isn't that great,

you feel closer to her now, especially as the kids are sort of getting older and progressing in their careers, which I would think might be the opposite, right, for some people. But with you guys, it's you guys, even though the kids are out of the house and they're all gone, you've been together for so long, you're closer as opposed to farther apart, right? Well, I think, you know, a marriage is, you know, we touch each other and we create children. How many kids do you have? We have five. Oh, my God.

And so it was a situation where, you know, when the kids are young, and they're not many years apart. So when the kids are young, you know, you're kind of in survival mode, and you're doing that everything you need to do through every single day. And, you know, and you're close just because you're in your life. I had, there certainly was, you know, a distancing from a sexual perspective. So, you know, we definitely kind of, though we've had playing for many years, some of it very good, some of the child was born, then I got an opportunity to do some work and did me after a number

of years of us actually not having not slept together to. Right. So, but you stayed monogamous with her, though, up until that point? Yes, I did. and how many years did you like not have sex and stay monogamous with her like do you think it was about like over a year I think it may have been four or five years wow so what would you just like would you she do other things with you or like there was no fooling around whatsoever no there's five young listen I have one and I don't know if you've heard we talk about it on my show because I'm the single mom

and I'm like thank God I don't have to go blow somebody at the end of the day you know Seriously. And I have one. So I can imagine. I remember, I remember very long hours. It just did not leave a lot of time. And there was just a physical. Right. No, I'm just wondering what you did to get yourself off for like four or five years. It's a very long time to go without actual sex for a man.

Right. And you didn't, you were very monogamous to her. And you weren't putting it in her like, what the hell were you doing? I'm assuming I guess you were then just jerking off. Yeah. I mean, if I was, if I hadn't, if I was awake at the end of the day, maybe I masturbated, but I got to tell you, I don't remember it. It is kind of a blur.

Right. So you were just as exhausted as she was at the end of the time. You know, I pride myself. I think we're both really great parents. You know, when you've got five kids and you want to be great parents, that equates to, oh, my God, I'm really exhausted at the end of the day. Right. So you were really chipping in.

You weren't like the guy who just came home, aid, and like, went to the, Like you really were taking care of the kids almost as much as she was right. Oh, yeah, no. I could have been 60-70 plus hours a week. And the weekends, if, you know, a day was open, it was all mine. Right. So that's cool, though, for her because in a way you probably, I mean, some guys I think maybe can't understand that at the end of the day

when a woman's taking care of kids or whatever she's doing, you know, that maybe she doesn't want to have sex all the time as much as a man does, right? And I think sometimes men don't understand that. But you did because you were sort of, tending to the kids almost as much as her, and you understood her exhaustion, right? Right. We were in terms of our exhaustion. And I don't think we're actively talking about our sex life at all.

So four or five years go by, you're like working out of town. Now, I think that you said that you, and you started to have an affair, right? Like, let's just jump to that, right? Right. So what actually happened, moved out west. And then I had to stay out east. in New York. I didn't have any of the obligation to the family. So, yeah, I guess at that point, I wasn't used to not having the go, go, go of the family as well and would like to enjoy it a bit.

I was going to do something like this, not to use a Star Trek nerdy term, but was the kids couldn't be. Family could not be affected. Right. So create could have a negative effect on what was a wonderful family situation. Right, and that was very important to you. That was the prime directive. That was all that mattered. Right. I could have just...

Right. I mean, it had been four or five years. Right. Yeah, it's like being a virgin again, almost. No doubt about it, that's how I felt. And I was scared. I can imagine. How old were you at this point?

Are you like in your 30s or 40s? I was I know I don't think 40s Right Okay So how do you go out

Look I mean you're Like it's kind of easy For you to go out Looking right now Because you're in the city You're living in New York You're not single But you kind of are

Right Your family is all the way On the other side of the country So it's not so hard For you to go out And meet somebody right How did you Go about meeting people

Cassie, I'm the lady Made myself Work to make something happen, but I just happened to meet the person. I mean, you know, it's all of a sudden it's the young 40 single scene in New York. Oh, yeah, and there's a major scene in the York. Oh, it was, it was crazy. There was, the building she lived in was like, I mean, there were all these single 40s.

I didn't even know existed. Right. So she was, we hit it off right away, and the other thing was that it was New York City, I love New York, and she loved New York. She grew up in New Jersey, but spent most of her adult life in the city, and she and I just, you know, it was one big party after the other. It was in New York, do all the restaurants in New York, do all the theater in New York, do all the concerts in New York, do all the museums in New York.

Right. It was life for... Right, now, you had told me in your email that you had met some of the women that you had affairs with, because you have had a couple of affairs. This is the first of many. Or I don't know if you'd say many, but I say many. And you said that you did meet some of them online, right? You did online dating.

Now, is that how you met this one or when you just say, you know, you met? Yeah, I think in those days there were dating sites, for sale like there are now, but Yahoo, I think had chat rooms. Right. I think I met her in like a New York City chat room. Okay. Now, let me do, so I'm assuming since, you know, you're, the main thing for you is that nobody finds out, your wife doesn't find out, you know, and you don't disrupt any of that. So I'm assuming you were very honest with her straight, you know, from the beginning that you were married? Oh, yes, with the woman I had the affair with a later affair. Yeah, I was very open.

Right. Okay, cool. And she was okay with it. Was she divorced herself and like had kids to? She was a widow. Oh, okay. Yeah, her husband had died of, actually I think it was like alcohol poisoning or something like that. And she had been a widow for about two years. And though she knew what my situation was, it was important for a long-term relationship for us. Because you were, I mean, did you have like, I mean, what was your future plans with your family? I mean, they're on the West Coast. You're in New York.

Is it a set time that you guys are going to be apart? or is it indefinite at that point? So I was commuting every week. Oh, okay. Not an uncommon thing for people to do all across the country. Of course. Into New York City being the economic capital of our country. Right, totally.

And we would move from the East Coast, and then I had a situation where I had to stay in New York. So I was commuting, you know, Sunday nights to Thursday nights in general. Right. So you kept a place in New York, and then, you know, you went home to your family on the weekends. then this woman was okay with it. Let me ask you this. Like the first time you had sex, first of all,

I'm sure it was like amazing, right? Because it had been so long, right? Yeah, you may. But yeah, I mean, we had, we actually, when I think of her, great. Really?

Especially in retrospect with other women that I've met. She had actually a physical issue. What was her physical issue? She had like fibroids or something inside of her. that kept her from, I mean, she knew it very well. She was under doctors.

And it's not that she couldn't have them. It just took a long time. Oh, poor thing. Right. And I loved eating her out. I mean, it was amazing. Right. That's my passions in the world.

And it would take us a solid hour to hour and a half before she could come. Oh, wow. So she had a great time. And I guess I did two for a while. time but the stiff neck got kind of stiff after a while I mean it was it became very difficult so you have to understand as much less for our sexual relationship as it was for the companionship and like the companionship to go do all those things in New York and live that life of like being free again without the kids let me ask you this though also too besides whether it was good or bad like did you

remember whether like after the first time because this is the first time after so many years you've been with your wife that you had sex with someone else and you actually like cheat you on her, right? Did you feel guilty at all, do you remember? Like the first time in the beginning. You know, it's like I said, I decided I wanted to have a little slice of happiness for myself

and I was okay with that. Right, you had justified it at that point. Right. I'm not one prone to guilt. I think it was more of fear. Mm-hmm. And even though we're an opposite color to this lady. So, so I was just fearful that

something would, you know, there'd be a bill that would violate the prime directive. Yeah, definitely. And let me ask you this, because you're out and about doing all these, like, great things. And, like, did you keep that from your wife? Like, did she think every night after work you were, like, home and the apartment and, like, hanging out? Or did she know you're going to all these concerts and theater? You know, like, did she know that? Or did you keep that from her? No, I don't think it was, it was something that I did as a professional when we were both out there as well. So even though we were busy with the kids, you know, I had to do a certain amount of whining and dining. So I don't think it was extraordinary for me, you know, to go out

a couple of nights a week. And then, so I don't remember really working very hard to hide it at all. And, you know, I'm sure I called, if not once, twice and talking to the kids and her every night that I was there. Right, exactly. You know, there was this great article that I've talked about my podcast many times. It was in a details magazine and it was called why do men cheat and you should read it. It's like it's great. But like the first sentence is why do men cheat? And he's like because they can. You know, and he talks about and he was like, he was like, you know, there's all different types of cheaters and I've talked to all different types of guys on my show who cheat. And every cheating story is very different, I think, for one from the other. That's why

you really have to talk to people, you know. But he, the guy who wrote that article is very much like you. Like he didn't want to ruin his family. He was very happy with his family. you know, he was just getting a little variety on the side, but he had a lot of rules and regulation so that, you know, he would not mess up, you know, what he had at home. And, um, but he talked about how easy it is to do. Did you find that once you started to do it, like it was pretty easy to sort of live a double life? Because I mean, you have a family with five kids and once, you know, on one side of the country. And then on the other side of country, you have a full-fledged girlfriend, right? So I mean, it is kind of like you're living

a double life, but it must have been not so bad, right? I think what I found at this stage, I didn't feel that way, and because of a situation that I caught at after this woman I just described, I had to learn a hard lesson. Okay, so this lady, you date her for how long, this one, the one who couldn't have orgasms? Definitely over a year, probably going on a year and a quarter, something like that. And so that ends, right? Right. So that ended. And I met another woman, I think also through the chat rooms, people like addicted to each other. It was like 24-7 days a week. So even when, and she lived in Florida. Okay.

So even though, so when I was in New York, late after everybody had gone to sleep and I'd be texting with her and whatnot. Oh, okay. That was being a little naughty, right? Because now you're a little bit closer to maybe getting busted because you're like, you know, right? I mean, did you do that with your other girl? Right. The whole thing of getting closer to home made me nervous and it got me. Right.

I mean, like you, that was a little dangerous, right? I mean, I'm assuming you didn't do that with the first woman because, you know, she was in New York and you could see her all the time. And maybe like when you went home on the weekends, you didn't really keep in touch with her. Right. But this one, because you're like addicted to her, you're like in the bathroom behind your wife's back. I mean, that's when you're like, that's when it becomes a slippery slope, if you ask me, because that, you know, shit could happen and you could get busted. But sometimes I find that, you know, and that's what happened sometimes is things escalate, right? Like things move forward and, and I'm assuming that this is the one that you did get busted with, right?

That's what you said? Yes. I went down to Florida. Mm-hmm. Okay. It was, it changed my life completely. She and I, the weekend together, and I think it was the Fountain Blue, and I'm not sure we came out of the hotel. It was just, and we just clicked together physically.

We just, you know, the whole exploration thing, what she loved to get, I love to give, and vice versa. It just, it was perfect. Right. The problem was that she was. in Florida. Mm-hmm. I came up to New York a few times, and this is over months, right? We have this great chat infrastructure that we're communicating with.

So we're having this great virtual amazing. Right. We've seen each other over a course of, you know, six to eight months, you know, half a dozen times. Mm-hmm. Right, because you really wanted, you were like the typical guy because, like you said, you were lacking that companionship because you were away from your family. Like you also wanted that as well besides the sex with these women that you're with. That was a need of yours as well besides just getting laid.

Oh, yeah, no. And that may sound, except for the first woman in New York, we friends with every woman I've had in a fair with. Right. And you fell in love with them, but you stayed in love with your wife. Like it never compromised. Like when your feelings grew for these other women, it never sort of made you feel like maybe you should leave your wife or anything

like that always stayed constant in your life. like your feelings for your wife? I would say this particular occasion. With the one with the great sex. Well, not just because of the great sex. The way I felt about her, I think I just had not known my life. Right. And other things happened.

So what happened was she was married, by the way. If you're divorced, I mean, if you're married. Totally. Uh-huh. Right. I think it's much better with someone in your same circumstance. 100%. I agree.

She was married with a fairly young kid of her own, and so he called our home. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's what I said. Now, what's funny about it is I did not get confronted with it right away. I found out in a counseling session. A counseling session with who? Oh, with your wife. Yeah, my wife and I went into wrestling for many years.

Right, on and off. Uh-huh. Right. Right. Right. some of it related to our relationship and some of it related to other stuff. I think it was something we just both wanted to do in order to keep the relationship going. Right, keep the relationship strong and going and I never divulged what I was doing.

I felt like that would, I know my wife well enough that ended the relationship pretty much right there and then if I said, yes, I'm doing all this stuff. Yeah, but she didn't she find out when that guy called? then she just suspected she didn't really know think about it she heard from this guy she said i'm getting these long phone i got these big phone bills my wife was in florida and you know it's not like my wife came in and heard me talking on the phone right right trying to connect the doctor she doesn't know what's going on but she raises in an accountant right and listen she probably as much as you wanted to keep that relationship going, she probably did too. And on some level, she probably didn't want to believe it. Do you know what I mean? Because if she believed it, like you said, she would

leave you in an instant, right? And like, what would that mean? Her whole life would turn upside down. You know, and she was probably, you know, in love with you. You had all those kids. She probably didn't want to believe it. I think that's how a lot of women deal with situations. Because sometimes it's so obvious that people are cheating or shit is going down. But I think when someone says, oh, the woman turns the other way or I think sometimes they don't even know that they're doing it. But on some like on a subconscious level, they do not want to know. So it's, you know, so they, because it's, I mean, listen, if some guys calling up your house and saying, you know, my wife is talking to somebody for all hours of the day, I mean, she just has to ask a couple

questions, right, to really kind of bust you, right? But she didn't do that. She didn't really have any proof. I mean, she could have figured out whether it was true or not. not, you know. Sure. And I think she didn't want to know. I think she didn't want to know on some level. Right. You know?

I agree. Yeah. So you got away with that. Did you learn your lesson the hard way that way? But at that point, I mean, that was enough for you to learn your lesson, right? As far as, like, don't bring that shit home close to your family. Yeah. Yeah, it was interesting.

I remember our, that was when we had a great both loved him. Mm-hmm. At one point, individual discussions with him, which was very rare. You know, in couple counseling, it's almost always a couple. Yeah. But at one point, either he asked or he asked to talk with us one-on-one for just told him, you know, what was going on. And he asked me whether he felt I had done enough, wanted my wife to know. Right.

And I thought, oh, my God. You know, of course not. And then I thought about it. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on in my subconscious. Maybe I was trying to have it. I wasn't holding back at all. Yeah, because that was with that one, because it was, and I say this to my callers. I've said this to my collars in the past.

Like you have to think about what you really want and be very clear because of sometimes there's a little gray area like you're not happy with your wife and you keep thinking of that, but you don't want to get busted. Like you will, you know, because that part of you that's super unhappy that maybe is leaving a little room for, you know, even if it's 5% of you that's like, oh, maybe I'd walk out. That 5% of you may get you busted, you know, and I believe that that absolutely happens, you know. And I think it happened with this one because what you said about her, like she was the one that it was like nothing you had ever experienced about. So if you were going to throw your relationship in the shitter for anyone, it would have been her. And that's why it happened.

And by the way, vice versa. Right. Mm-hmm. And how did you guys break up? Why did you guys break up? You know, it's so fun. You know, I had confide. How could you ever break up with that?

Right. And the distance was so painful. Right. It wasn't like I could be there once a month even. Mm-hmm. Well, one was also getting confronted with this in counseling. And I think I had to almost bury my head in the same. sand a little bit.

Right. But there was this, and the distance that, you know, to this day, that's what I say to myself and I'm, and. Right. And so, I mean, it must have been very hard, though, to stay away from her. Did you immediately start with somebody else? Oh, no. I had, I took some started.

So I was in New York. I was alone. Mm-hmm. You know, I kind of experimented in that area. And how was that for you? pretty incredible. Yeah. How much should you pay?

Like how high end were these like $1,200 a night girls, $600? I've had all different, yeah. Right. So I don't think there were any girls in that day that were $1,000 night girls like you find in Los in New York now. Right. That was back in the day. And they're typically like three hour minimums or whatever, right?

They know how to make their money. No, no. No, these were all, you know, sometimes I would do two hours, but more. more often than not, it would be one hour, you know, maybe a little bit more. In these reviews that you'll see, they talked about clock watchers. They weren't clock watchers. Right. You know, these were women I developed.

I would see multiple times. Yeah. So, you know, on a third date with someone who's charging you $300. Right. It's a little bit more classy. A lot more classy. Right. You get what you pay for, right?

So you're treated with it's a different kind of ball game at that level, right? That's like what people, like you said, are paying for, like, a first. thousand or twelve hundred night and nowadays i mean those girls are like famous porn stars and stuff like that right at war is that the case back then uh no nor did i look for porn stars right uh uh they were just uh extremely beautiful women with incredible uh social skills incredible intelligence they they had a whole package and i was working with a high end service also so they were going in recruiting these girls, they knew exactly what guys like me wanted.

Of course. And now let me ask you this, did you have any long-term relationships with any of the escorts that you saw? Like long-term long-term, like you have long-term relationships with these other women. And I, listen, I've gotten

lots of emails from guys like, hey, I was dating, you know, I'm dating the escort that I used to see. You know, did any of those relationships turn into something more serious or no? I guess now. I think I would have considered, I mean, I liked all of them very much. Mm-hmm. And some of them much more than others and some I saw for many weeks,

I used myself to... Uh-huh, like happy ending places. New York is very... Just fine. Right. Mm-hmm. But eventually you wanted companionship, I'm assuming, again, right, after a little time went by and then you had another, like, affair?

My work wound down in New York. I was actually home for a good year plus. I think I was feeling lonely at home, getting older, getting closer to middle and high school years. I didn't want these long weeks. And it was a tough lifestyle, too, to commute and, you know, to live that far away from everyone, even though I was playing. Right.

You got relocated back. So I actually had to be closer and seek out real companionship again. And you did. And I did. Mm-hmm. And you met. at this point you're going to be on your third affair, right? Yeah, I always think of the woman from Florida.

I guess the criteria for me is it had to have lasted a year to be an affair. Right. And I felt about her, I guess you could say she was. So, yeah, this would be my third affair. Right, okay. Because I know you had five in total at this point, right? Is that including her, or would it be six including the one in Florida? I think it's five, including four.

Right. Okay. So you start another relationship. Who is the one? Who's the relationship that you had, that you weren't honest or you had an issue with being marriage? Because when I asked you in the beginning, remember whether you were honest about it? At first, you said in another relationship there was an issue. Yeah. So an excellent memory. That's correct. Or good notes. A woman that I met in a city 100 miles from where we now have. have her. She was a German-born woman.

And they got divorced. She was a single mom. This one is the one in where I did. And I did. Yeah. But let me describe a little bit of this relationship. Right. That was what we did for fun. You know, we would go, you know, we'd hop to Germany.

We'd hop. And you, I'm assuming you just told your wife you were going for business. Correct. And that wasn't the type of work that I'd. do. Yeah, no, I know guys like you. Right. So that was just commonplace. She would never question it. Oh, no, no. There was no question whatsoever. And I took her as well if we could get, not easy to get babysitter for, you know, you get enough grandkids. Right, right. Yeah. So, so we had a great time. This was kind of like the first woman I knew in New York. We were having this great. And she was just wonderful to travel with. Right. You know, I don't know if you've ever met someone.

there's some people that are really hard to travel with. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I think it's, you know, harder to find those people than it is the ones that are terrible. I think most people you don't find are compatible to travel with. But every now and then you get that one person that really is and that's a keeper. Yeah, it would. And, you know, we fly everywhere first class, which in itself was a whole new experience also. Yeah.

If anything, I would upgrade the people. Oh, my God, it's the only way I will fly. It's not even like it's luxury at this point. It's like just the way you should be treated, but it does make a huge difference, especially if you're flying to Paris or someplace, you know, with a big time difference for a couple of days, you know. It's a lot less stressful if you're flying first class. It's pretty easy to do. Oh, it's amazing. No, I used to tell her if you want to just go this weekend and just fly around the world and not stop anywhere, I'm fine with that.

Yeah, totally. You know, you can lay down. You're getting to find a school in the world. Yeah. Yeah, it's like being in a room for a couple of hours. You know, it's not like it's so different, you know, so different than flying coach. But anyway, so you guys are flying first class all over around the world. At this point, I'm just like, how long does she not know that you're married?

Wait, wait, you broke up there. Say that again? How long? About nine months. Wow. Okay. And like, let me ask you this in the beginning because you seem like you're pretty straight. Oh, shit.

You see, I'll edit that out. You seem like a pretty straightforward guy. Like, why with this one did you not tell her? straight up the bat that you were married. One thing we haven't talked about, so far it sounds like, you know, you think I'm tall, dark, and handsome, and I'm making, you know, a million dollars a year. None of those things are true. Okay.

What are you on a scale of one to ten? Are you a four? I mean, what are you on a scale of one to ten? I normally ask my callers. The younger I was, I think I was more attractive. but as I got older, I became less attractive. I think most of us naturally do. No, I don't agree.

I think men become more attractive. I think a lot of men become more attractive as they get older. This particular gentleman did not. Oh, poor you. You're like a woman. You're like a woman. Right. So for the most part, you know, I've got myself in pretty good shape.

But let's put it this way. You know, I call it the sometimes in business we call it the 80-20 rule. Yeah. As far as meeting women, it's the 95-5 rule. Right. So out of 100 women that I'll meet, 95 will reject me. Okay. And you're saying because just on looks.

But now, you know, because if you weren't making a lot of cash with the job that you had, it seems like you were because of like the sort of lifestyle that you led and with the traveling and stuff. Right. Money was never because of my money. Right. My income. No, but they, listen, you could be a, if you. you're a four but you know you have millions you're like a 10 okay like you could get

anyone i mean come on look at harvey weinstein okay like it's just a but i'm not a four with millions okay you're okay i'm a four with a lot less than million okay but you're a four with six figures okay so that makes you like a six um so in the end i think what happened with her you were telling this guy who said oh honestly and you were saying it's a numbers game right I learned that it was a numbers game very clearly here. And so I need enough until I found someone who did. But when you're playing the 95-5 statistical game, you can't be honest.

You might be a little less honest. Totally, I understand. Okay. Well, you may understand, but I don't forgive myself for that because I felt for her and she felt for me. And I remember being in the car saying, and I have something I need to talk to you about. And she knew from the tone of my voice, something was wrong.

Yeah. She thought it was breaking up with her. But think about that. She's in love with me. She's seeing me as someone in her life for the rest of her life. You're going to break up and instead of life. Oh, my God. Let me ask you this.

Was she like, oh, that's it? Like, okay, I thought you were breaking up with me. Or was she, like, was that worse than you breaking up with her? Like, what was her reaction? Worse. Right. she was horrified me in my life right i wish i had told her i'm breaking up with you i think it would have been less painful right she told me um so we disconnected after a while but then we reconnected

recently actually and she's told me openly now she wishes she i had never told her i could imagine right no in other words what she was saying was even if you were married don't tell me that keep our affair going because we were doing so great. Of course, right. It was like the fantasy was great, better than the reality. I mean, I totally understand that. She wishes she never found out because somehow, like, she had no idea, right? Like, you had managed to pull it off.

Nine months is a long time to go without telling someone. You must have been shitting in your pants. Like, what it made you decide at nine months to tell her? Like, what was it at that point? Did you feel like she was getting so serious? Like, why did you decide to tell her? I mean, you could have just continued on with the lie. Not who I am.

No, but you were for nine months. I mean, why at that point? Like, what was going down? What difference between two months and nine months? Yeah. I was in love with her. And I owed it to her. Right.

Probably every month I said I've got to tell her. Not only that, it's like if you have herpes. I had a girlfriend that had herpes. And it's like, you never going to tell a guy at two months you have herpes because he's not in love with you. you got to lock them down before you really let them know what I mean because they might leave at nine months you know you tell someone you really got them to fall in love with you they might be more inclined to sort of deal with your situation right so right which is I think now that you're saying that I think that actually is what my mindset was yeah we've been together so long she'll forgive this yeah she loves you enough she's not she might be horrified she's you knew she wasn't going to be okay no big deal right she'll be hard but she's not going to be able to leave you because she loves you as much as you love her. But she did leave you. That's right.

She did. Well, there you know. She never. Actually, we stayed together for another couple of months. Three maybe. I always said you were never the same after I told you. Yeah, of course. It just ruined everything. It was never the same.

And I knew it was just a matter of time before it had to end. Yeah, she probably would have loved to have broke up with you that time. But that's not how it normally goes. life's a little bit more messy than that. She had to stick around until she really felt like, okay, she was done. But she was done with you that day, I'm sure. Correct.

Right. Like I said, to this day, it's a day that I'll never forget. Right. So I'm assuming you never will do that again, not tell people. Never do that again. But you manage to find another, after 95 more dates after her. You managed to find another woman, right, to date you again.

Like, you've had another, you've had more affairs. her. So right. I was able to create a situation where I actually was working in my home city. And I didn't meet another woman. And today, the infrastructure of dating sites. Yeah. Uh-huh. And even though if you're married, you're really not supposed to go on those dating sites. Yeah. I just didn't read that rule. A married woman in my home city. Well, let me ask you this. Was it on like, I mean, did you put a face shot on a well-known online dating site in your city? Is that what you did? I don't remember.

I'll tell you the name of it. It's called Plenty of Fish. Right. So it was a popular one. You weren't afraid. I had a call around recently who was like, yeah, I put my picture and I got on okay. I'm like, are you fucking crazy? Like this is where like someone's sisters, brothers, and son sees you and is like, what

the hell is he doing there? Like, I mean, that's like pretty risky considering you are busted ones. That's like, and you're just. doing it in your own hometown, like you were getting, you're getting a little, like that's a little close, you know, to me. You know what? Whether I did post a picture. Actually, given the 95-5 rule, I probably did.

Right. And, and, and, but that led, see, if I think, if I can get a woman to chat with me. Yeah. Then I, the 95-5 goes back, goes to 50-50. Right. I see. Right. Mm-hmm.

Because I have a. personality that women like to interact with. Right. So if you could just get them talking. And how did you, do you know straight off the bat that she was married and you were honest with her that you were married? I'm sure I said it for sure.

Right. I don't think she definitely told me. But I'm sure once, you know, we were chatting for, you know, a few weeks or whatnot, it came out. And this woman was, she was a brutally honest woman on so many different fronts. She was, what I, kind of think of as the intellect affair that I had. Right.

She was an engineer company. So she's done very well for herself. And she was the smartest lady I've ever interacted with. Right. Sure, she and I got right down to brass packs pretty quickly. Right. And there was no bullshit with her. She was as honest as you were.

And so you knew she was married, you were married. How long did you stay with her? So we were together for, I think, about 18 months. And now you did this while you were home, right? I mean, how did you keep? Right. So now we have the experience where I've learned enough. You know, now I'm in.

Right. Right. So you're like a professional. It's kind of interesting, like, the way your life went. It sort of, you know, helped you along in your cheating life, right? because like you didn't move home early on, right? Then you would have been probably sloppy because you weren't like, you know, as good at that game yet, right?

But like over all those years and then now you're finally home and now you're like so great at cheating that you could literally do it while you're home and totally be okay and not get caught. I mean, right. Everything logistically worked in your favor. At the beginning, we've gotten closer, especially now the kids are getting older. or we don't sleep in the same bedroom. Let me ask you this, because I was going to ask you before,

I just forgot, like, over all these years, you know, four or five years, you said in the beginning you hadn't had sex with her, nothing went down, and then you started having all these affairs. Now, did your sex life with your wife at some point, you know, between these affairs, like rejuvenate itself,

or did you just never, did it never take off again? We haven't been in the same bedroom. So how many years is that? Like, how old is that child? Wow. Okay. But that's interesting. You know, that's like a, that's the evolution of a relationship after 33 years.

Like, how does it stay together? I guess that's one way if you don't have the sex. Because you have other things at that point, right, that are keeping the relationship together. She probably doesn't give a shit about the sex because she probably hit menopause and you totally done, right? And she was never, definitely never. Right. You know, we have a lot in common through the kids. we've always been committed to the family.

That prime director was never a joke to me at all. Right. But I will tell you something. You know, she's a smart lady, so she has come to ingest a little bit. But, you know, I don't have to know. If you need to go see somebody, you know, I'd get it. Right. And just it would be a blurt, right?

It would be a short comment. Yeah. And I would, you know, I took it. It was interesting that she knows me well enough, right? Right. But you know, listen, in that situation, this is like, if you ever, like, we're like, oh, I'm going to tell my wife or she found out, like, I mean, I really feel like she would say what that one said to you in the car after nine months of finding out.

Like, I wish you never told me. Like, at this, like, you know, on every level, it is so good that your wife doesn't know. It's kept the relationship going. There's no reason for her to know. It would ruin everything. And she probably doesn't want to know. Do you know what I mean? That I know for sure.

No, she doesn't want to know. And what does it matter? You love her, right? It's not about that. It is interesting. Listen, I think, like, because I'm a woman, right? So I understand. I don't think it's that big of a deal after being with somebody for so long if they go get

a fucking hand job someplace else or even fuck a hooker. I don't really think it's that big of a deal, especially if you're not, like, you know, a man sex drive is different than a woman's right. But I think what's hard for a woman to swallow, at least for me, is the emotional connection. I think what would be the most. devastating for her to find out or to know is that not only were you like you know getting off in other places you were you were having like you were falling in love with other women I think that would be very hurtful for her very you know because I don't think I think it's very hard to understand

but listen you're here to say that this actually could happen I've been into two people at the same time. Like, I understand. Like, it's, like, so you're here to say, like, you could completely be in love with two people at the same time. But I think most people can't understand that. And I think that would be devastating, you know, because to emotionally cheat, I think it's the emotional part is always, you know, the hardest for the woman. A, because I think the woman worries that, you know, someone would leave, you know, she might be abandoned by the man if he falls in love with someone else. But I think it's still as fucked up if he doesn't, but he's still in love with somebody else. at the same time, you know, that would be devastating.

Yeah. But yet you have been able, like you, like I said, and I think I asked you this before, like your feelings for your wife never changed. And if anything, you guys have grown closer over the time. I mean, the sex never got any better, but your relationship and other, every other aspect is just as strong, if not stronger, you know, 33 years down the line. Right. Right.

And the importance of the family being, um, without disrupting. and the importance of that. And then all the sudden, your kids, you're looking at weddings, and now there's a lot of other families. The whole family thing gets bigger, not small. Right. No, that's great. I mean, I think, like, you know,

listen, there's all different types of relationships out there. There's people that aren't, you know, because I'm thinking when you're talking, it's just like, wow, that's the only reason why somebody would stay together with somebody for 33 years. Like, why else would somebody do that? But I do know relationships where two people are, together that don't have any kids and they just are like so into each other and that never changed

over so many years you know some of those i know some of those relationships you know and they don't have kids and they don't need the kids to keep them together but i feel like most people i mean how could you stay with the same person for 33 years you know if there weren't all these other things right to keep you together that's the point right right and that is actually in my workplace i have a lot of married friends. Yeah. And the number of marriages that last a long time. I know. Yeah. And if it does last more often than not, it is some kind of a lie. So the question is, what kind of a lie you're going to create for yourself? Right. Yeah. What I was able to do, because I only got one life on this planet, was to find a slice of happiness, and that's why I met

these other women. And they've been wonderful part of my life, and I was able to keep a great family intact, which again was the most important thing in my world. Right. And you were able to do that almost maybe because you were able to have those other relationships, right? They actually helped your relationship because they were, you know, you were having your needs met that your wife couldn't sort of tend to. You were having them met someplace else, right?

Right. I was lucky to have the circumstances where that could happen. Right. And now I know that you had said in your email that there was somebody, that you would really share all these kinds of stories with, right? And that person found religion or something, so you can't really sort of talk to them anymore. But you're, I guess, single right now,

looking for another affair, right? And maybe looking for information on how to... For the most part, I'm in my home city. Whatever happened with the brilliant woman? Like, how did that break up? He had issues. Oh, right, hardcore stuff. I got to know the kid pretty well.

The kid's scared. me. There were a lot of drugs involved. At the end, and she needed, she loved getting masturbate in order to come. Right. Was she older, like, in her 50s at that point? No, 40s.

Oh, okay. Because sometimes when women start to go through changes, unfortunately, it really fucks with, you know, the hormone changes, and menopause and perimenopause really fucks with women's drive. She had been anorexic at one point herself. Oh, okay.

And that was why she thought her child had become anorexate. Aside from our sex life, we got to a point where she actually wanted to start experimenting with other guys to include me in that. Right. And that's something that I'm... Right. Well, you said in your email, and I'm like, oh, I'm going to incorporate it in the title somehow. You were like, you know, most of the women you dated have called you or somebody called

you the monogamous married guy. Because you kind of... It was her? No, this one... That was so her. She was the one that called you. Yeah. Two weeks of knowing me.

Oh my God, hilarious. But yet she didn't want to be monogamous. No, no. In the beginning, she loved it. Right. Right. Two weeks. No, she was, you know, she wanted to go in, if you will.

And that wasn't something that appealed. And also when you combine that with her child issues, it was just a good thing. We separated in the moment. Right. And so you're now currently. No, there was one more. Oh, there was one more. Right, right.

You're at five, right? That was four. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Which is, I'm always looking for. Of course. It's not just the sex, but it's also the deep emotional.

I'm kind of looking. I was hoping I could find someone where it all come together. Yeah. This last woman, we just hid it off in a big way. Okay. Was she married, too? So she was not. Mm-hmm.

You know, a little bit out of the work. I think she kind of held it back. by remembering with this guy, though I didn't really know what was going on, and it took a few weeks for us to really get completely straight with each other. Right. But eventually, and the sex was incredible. Right. And she broke up with me as she thought I was having an affair in the affair. And you weren't, right?

She and I had, and I'm not, maybe you can already hear this, I don't get into big fights, I'm kind of a low-key guy. Right. And that, and then later on, we, I felt, we kind of broke up for everything's fine. And then one night, like a year later, right? We'd already been together a year and out, a year later. Yeah. Two years.

We're in this special hotel that I got us, not far from where I live. Yeah. And she goes into my phone. Actually, I wasn't going to even say this, but we got stoned. Uh-huh. Which is not something I do regularly or customarily, but with her, it was a lot of fun. Right. So we got stoned, and she started looking through my friend.

phone. And by the way, for your listeners, never let anyone ever, no matter who they are, look through your phone. So she went through my phone, and she went back and looked at some text that I had from the year earlier from when we had this breakup to the Dallas thing. Oh, you're on a break. So she believed I was still talking and having an affair within the affair. Oh, God, but she was too stoned to know.

She was paranoid. she believed oh you're kidding after she saw that phone i didn't hear from her for two months and this is we just had this amazing drive the hotel room but let's just say it had some unique amenities and and we had this great time and i didn't hear from her wow and then when she came back around did you guys just like remain friends she's had another bout with cancer um and i always told her I wanted to be there for her in her first spot. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So she's had to go through that again, and I was really happy and deeply moved that she called on me, you know, even though we haven't had any of the intimacy or anything, she wanted me there with her when she went through. Right, right. And how's she doing? She's good. Okay. She always wanted me to just end it. Oh, she did. Okay.

Oh, yeah. She didn't care about wife. she didn't care about kids she cared about was you love me I love you we're spending the rest of our lives together right

right so that's probably also that along with the stuff and you know just probably all hit her in one time like this is never going anywhere you know like maybe when she was looking through her

your phone she was more horrified by the shit she saw with your wife you don't know you know what I mean like yeah you know it must have been like everything if that was the case with her so she left you so now you're looking

for a new person, right? And, I mean, are you going to do online dating again? I did the... And plenty of fish at one point even realized that I was a married guy on their site and took me off. Oh, my God, that's hilarious. I don't know if they'd even let me log on now. And, you know, there's not really... And I thought about starting a business, but there really isn't an Ashley, you know,

a free Ashley Madison that's real, right? Right. I don't know what about Ashley Madison. I happen to know it's a scam. It's just a joke. Right. But there really isn't something for guys like me to go find me. Right.

And it would be a place also for women, right? Because the women that are married that are looking for that kind of, or women that are single that are looking for like a married guy. Maybe they want part-time, you know, boyfriend. You know, that's basically what a married guy could be, right? Right. So that's what is the scam that it is. And maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think.

I think I am is because women don't sign up. Oh, really? Is that what the case? I don't know. Right. I think I've done the research, you know, a few years ago. And, you know, it's a nine, if it's any reality at all to it, you know, there's 50 guys for every one, real woman out there. Right, right.

So you're thinking of maybe going back on to, like, a regular website? Well, the only thing I've ever done is that, you know, that exists was really. plenty of fish. Yeah, and that's, I mean, there's also Okay, Cupid is free. I've been on Okay, Cupid, it's free. I mean, you could do the same thing on there. Don't put a picture, whatever you do.

And it's a huge numbers game with something like that, especially when you're married and you don't have a picture. I would never reply to a guy without a picture online. I don't know how you got girls to in the past, but like, maybe you can, I don't know. But I always think that that's a red flag if someone doesn't have a picture, because I think either

a, they're busted looking or they're married or something's going on. You know, I don't know, but you should, you could try that. I wouldn't say Craigslist. Yeah. Listen, we're having a same discussion about what I hope your listeners think is the same life. Yeah. Why isn't there an avenue for me that's not insane?

Why do I have to lock plenty of fish potentially for something exactly the same that I is? Well, because you have to lie on there because God forbid you get caught and someone finds out. It's more about, you know, it's, in one sense, it's because you don't want anyone, you are married and you have a, listen, you have a wife and five kids. All those five kids are grown now. So that means they all have partners and their partners have partners. Like, a lot of people know you, right? So if someone comes across your face on there, I mean, come on, okay. Oh, no, no, right.

No, but I'm saying if the site was conducive to it. Yeah. Nobody could another. Right. There would be some way that it would work so that it works for you. And if there's one of you, there's, you know, hundreds of thousands of you. Of course, right. That's what Ashley Madison was all about.

I didn't know that there weren't a lot of women out there. I know that you have been seeing prostit, like you're back to seeing like prostitutes and stuff right now. Be just in the meantime until you meet somebody. Is that correct? Yeah, that is not lessened in spite of my age. Right. So you still, I mean, you know, and you haven't felt like a connection with any of those women. I mean, it's hard when you're married, okay?

Like, I don't know where to tell you to go. I would say stay off of OK, Keep it or any of those places. But if you do go on there, don't put a picture and see how that goes. You know, I don't know of a place. There's adult friend finders, but I know that people have had a hard. I don't think people find that there's real women on there. People don't find on Craigslist. I have people on my show all the time from Craigslist.

You know, guys that post looking for women. And it's very rare that I hear people being successful. Maybe chat rooms try those. I mean, those back in the day, don't they still have those? If they are, you know. Yeah, like scammers, right, trying to get you someplace. There is another person in my life that I shouldn't, I didn't email you about. I forgot.

But I've had a virtual state that I live in. And, you know, we, you know, emotionally, we have a lot, we support each other a lot. So there is someone there kind of emotionally. but even last night I wrote her and I said I'm doing this I said I'm doing this interview yeah and I don't want to know do you ever plan on meeting me and what she said and I realized she completely evaded the question and she has no intention of ever meeting me have you seen her like on webcam and shit like that no we don't do any pictures we send pictures to each other do you think there are pictures are real how do you know you're not talking to a guy scam on his part I mean he's really gorgeous when he sends me these pictures. Yeah, well, have you ever dumped those pictures? Wait.

No. She's a cowgirl and races, the barrel races. Uh-huh. And I hear friends naming her. I mean, it would be an elaborate scheme and well beyond anything within reason. No, but I mean, have you ever dumped those pictures into Google images or something just to see if they, you know, because I had a friend whose friend was. Yeah, I did it on Facebook. I did look for her on Facebook and I know her whole name and she knows my name.

Oh, okay. a real person with real friends. I forgot that I had checked her out on Facebook. Okay, because there are a lot of those scams nowadays. You know, what is it called catfishing or whatever fishing? You know, there's a, it's a whole thing. They have shows about it, you know, where people get caught up, especially men, with these situations where they're talking to people virtually that they never meet.

And, you know, it's either a 500-pound woman, you know, or a dude or, you know, you just don't know. Yeah, that happened to me in Denver. once. I forgot about that. I was doing a consulting gig in Denver and got completely contested. Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly. That didn't happen. Right. It's a 95-5 rule. What are the odds? Right. Right. Exactly. You know. So listen, Adam, I don't know. I can't. We're like way past an hour and I got to wrap this up. But like, I don't know where you could go. I think there's always somebody around the corner for you. I think you're going to meet someone. Maybe you'll meet them like, you know, passing through work. I don't know. I mean, I think that you, it doesn't seem like you've had a

hard time in the past. I can't give you any ideas because I have people coming on my show all the time like, you know, talking about their, you know, married guys and stuff, you know, in the same problem. Yet you seem to be one of the more successful ones in that you've had all these relationships with all these women. So I feel like I give you three months and you're going to have somebody else. And I don't know how that's going to happen, but you're going to figure it out. because that's just the way your life goes. You know, I would just say, and I think you know everything, you're like a professional, like not to put your face anywhere,

to be as, you know, as cautious and as smart as you have been. But I think you'll eventually meet somebody else again somehow, because that's just what you do. Yeah. You definitely still do. I think you have a good another like two or three years of, you know, two or three more affairs in you. you know, a couple years each one.

Well, I never go into them thinking that they're going to last just a year or two. I think they're going to last forever. Yeah, we all do. But, you know, reality is, especially when you're older, you know, if it's not going to be forever, what's the point? And, you know, I think people, but that's okay because I think that it's probably great that you have the variety that you have and all the friends that you have and stuff. I think that in a weird way it kind of works, even though maybe you think you would

preferred in a different way, I think it's not bad the way it is for you now. Okay. Well, good luck. And keep me posted when, you know, down the line. I bet you three months. I give you three months. I've been right before with my timing, too. I'll send you an email, Kathy.

Thank you for your time. Thanks for calling it, Adam, and being so honest. Talk to you soon. I'll let you know when I post this. Probably this Sunday. Okay. Bye, Adam. Bye-bye.

Bye. Okay. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex, Life. of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck

story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read. You could the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or

pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback.

sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly?

and be on the show. Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.