Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 143 - Chance is Secretly in Love with his Best Friend

Episode Date: September 12, 2016

Chance calls in because he recently realized he's totally in love with his best friend but he thinks she's way out of his league. What can he do to make himself more attractive to her? Is there a chance she already feels the same way about him? Should two friends cross the friendship line and start dating? Tune in to find out plus hear all about they're super close friendship and what they've already done with each other that might suggest there is already something more there. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift like you've got to find giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy.

If you want to be on the strictly anonymous podcast show, I'm always looking for people to call in. This is a call and advice show. So if you need advice or you have a secret life you want to talk about, if you have an interesting life that you want to talk about, I'd love to talk to you. You could call into my show. Send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. If you want to follow the show on Twitter, follow this show at Strict Anonymous, or follow

me at Cartoon Therapy. If you can write a review for my show, write a review. That'd be great. I actually checked other countries and I saw two. I think one in Australia and one in the UK, I think it was. So thanks so much for those reviews. If anyone else is out there that could write a review for my show, that would be really great.

It really helps. I already said if you want to be on the show, right? So anyway, I'm just going to tell you who's on my show today. It's a guy named Chance and he's a youngish guy that he, the reason, the reason why I responded to an ad that he had in Craigslist because he was looking for advice on how to sort of better himself so he could get a girl who he thought was out of his league to date him. He was into a girl who, you know, he felt was better looking than him and he wanted to be, you know, to up his game, right? So I thought it was going to be maybe a show about a man makeover,

but it turned out that like he explained to me he had done a lot of stuff to make himself look better and to be more attractive to her. And when he's explained the situation to me, it turns out that this girl is like his best friend. And so we talk a lot about those kinds of situations. And I feel like a lot of, I think it's interesting because I think a lot of people have been in those situations. You know, it's the whole when girls and guys are friends, like, you know, can they be

friends? You know, him and this girl definitely have some stuff that goes on between them that is not like normal for friends, right? I know I've personally been involved in situations where I've. was really close with a guy and, you know, I either started liking them or they liked me or we started sleeping together or we started dating, like shit like that goes down all the time. And that's what this call is about. It's a common sort of thing. He's at the place where he doesn't know whether he should make a move, but he does think that he really likes this girl and it's his friend and he's

wondering, you know, if he should. I ask him a lot of questions about like whether she's sort of, whether it seems like she likes him. And he tells me a lot of interesting stuff. So, you know, take a listen and, you know, I don't know what you think about the situation because I feel like it could go a lot of different ways and that's just the way that it goes in the situation for a lot of people. It could go a lot of ways. I'm making no sense right now because I'm having a crazy day. It's Mercury retrograde and anyone that believes in that knows that it just fucks everything up. Anyway, so I'm just going to get right back to the call. I'll be right back on with Chance. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone?

Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous Hey Chance, welcome to strictly... Hey Chance, welcome Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today?

I'm good. And yourself? I'm good. So I don't know much about you. I answered an ad that you posted on Craigslist, right? That's what I do nowadays. And I think in your post it was just kind of like I'm looking for help and advice on how to make myself look better. Because I met a really hot chick and you want to meet up with her, right?

but you want to, you don't, I guess, I don't know, you're, you might not feel that you're, like, attractive enough to get her or something. I don't know. Like, that was the gist of your email, right? You're looking for help from a woman to make yourself more attractive so you could get this hot girl, right? Absolutely. Okay, let me ask you on a scale of one to ten.

What is she and what are you? Well, in my eyes, I mean, this girl is just a knockout. You know, she is a solid tin. I think I'm probably between like a six and an eight on a good day. Right. Okay. And she's a definite 10. Now, guys always, it's just funny to me, guys always fish out of their league, right?

Like, it never fails. I mean, I live in New York City where there's a bunch of fives as men and then there's a bunch of tens as women. And you see tens with fives all the time because there's really not much else in New York City. There's not a lot of good looking guys here. But, and, you know, they get. they get the tens, right? There's things that you could do for sure to get women. And I mean,

I don't know if you know this, whether you have any sisters or girls that you're like really good friends with, but girls aren't as into looks as much as men. I mean, listen, it definitely matters, right? A woman needs to be physically attracted and she wants a guy that in her eyes is good looking. But there's a lot of things that a man could do to make himself appear hotter, right? So, I mean, And if you're like a six to eight on a scale of one to ten, that's not really bad. Like what makes you a six on some days and an eight on another day? Like is it when you have bad hair that gets curly when it's humid or something? Like why do you fluctuate so much?

I think a lot of it has to do with my work. I, um, you know, I mean, I'm a blue collar kind of guy. I work with my hands constantly. And, um, you know, when I first get off work, I mean, my hair is a hot mess, you know, and I'm just, you know, I mean, of course, you know, hands usually cake and oil and everything else. And, you know, so when I'm usually out on my workday and things like that, you know, that's when I'm probably at my lowest point. But like when I actually dress up, you know, fix my hair, you know, make sure, you know, my beard is trimmed really well, you know, stuff like that. You know, I think that definitely is a solid eight.

Okay. But listen, you're not going out to pick up chick. during work anyway, right? Like, I mean, that's not when you go out fishing for girls, right? Oh, absolutely not. But at the same time, though, I mean, it's still, you know, it'll be nice to actually be with someone that finds you attractive, you know, no matter what the setting may be, if that makes sense.

Yeah, well, listen, I mean, all girls wear a lot of makeup and they do their hair and then, you know, you sleep over their house and they take a shower and all of that shit comes off and that you wake up in the morning and they look a lot different, right? And women have the same feeling. Like, they want a man, you know, to like them when they're at their best and when, you know, they have no makeup on and when they wake up in the morning. So you're looking for a girl who like, not only likes you when you're all, you know, cleaned up, but also likes you when you come home from work. But, and that's normal. Once somebody starts liking somebody, like they tend to accept them, you know, when they look like either in the morning or when

they come home from work. I mean, I think most people, how old are you? Well, and it's, you know, Wait, how old are you? How old are you? I'm 28. Okay. You're 28. From your personal experience. From my own personal experiences, it almost seems like that over the last maybe 10 years,

you know, people have gotten much more shallow than what they once were. And I really think the Internet's probably got a lot to do with that. For sure. It's almost like you can, you know, just after a couple clicks and you can find, you know, own personal partner. You know what I'm saying? It's, I mean, and granted, for every good thing the internet's done, it's probably done 10 awful things.

But at the same time, you know, it has made things so easily accessible, you know, that you can basically find your ideal partner at the click of a button. And unfortunately, though, I think a lot of people only tend to take people at face value because of it. Yeah, listen, I mean, yeah, the playing field is definitely changed because of the internet. And I do believe that, you know, for men, listen, you're like 28. I'm, like, going to be 48 next year. Okay.

So I'm 20 years older than you. And when, you know, when I was younger, guys, your age did not have this problem, right? And guys, like, because they didn't have this problem, they didn't have to, like, really look that great. Like, the guys dressed like shit when I was growing up. Like, seriously. Guys nowadays, I think, have a lot more pressure or, like, some of the same pressures that women have to look good, to dress good.

Like, guys wear nice jeans now. and they take, you know, they take into consideration what they're wearing. Like when I was younger, that wasn't the case. They didn't have to, right? And I think, like, you're right. It's because of the internet, you know. And as a woman who always had to worry about that shit, it's kind of funny to see guys having to worry about that as well because, like, welcome to the world of, like,

being a female. Do you know what I mean? But it is kind of sad. I mean, I see my younger nephews and, like, younger guys, like, totally sweating, like, their weight and their hair and their stuff that, like, Guys never had to give a shit when I was younger, but like, whatever. That doesn't even exist anymore. Like, let's, you know, in reality right now, you're right.

Like, it is a more shallow world. And guys have, and, you know, it's different than women. Like, you can't slop on a lot of makeup or maybe go dye your hair or get some hair extensions to make, or like, it's getting fake tits, right? Like, girls could do a lot of stuff to make themselves more attractive. And it's kind of crazy what the girls are doing to themselves to make them attractive to men. you know, if you ask me, like they're getting these fake asses.

And I mean, the fake tits are good, but the fake asses are out of control. And they're like removing ribs and stuff. It's really weird, right? So everyone's looking like super maxed out. Well, for me, I almost feel like I'm going through this. And I've coined this phrase. I don't know if anyone else ever uses it, but, you know, I feel like I coined it. But I'm going through this is what I call a premature midlife crisis.

And, you know, it was like, you know, it was like. Like about two months ago, you know, I kind of, I just looked in the mirror and I was like, you know what? I am not happy with this at all. Mm-hmm. So I ended up going on this insane diet, ended up dropping like 27 pounds in two months. Okay. What kind of diet did you do? Did you do like no carbs or what kind of thing did you?

Well, it's low carbbing, but also drinking nothing but water. Like I quit drinking alcohol altogether, which is a bitch in itself. Totally. Uh-huh. But I quit drinking alcohol altogether, you know, started drinking nothing but water, no soda, no tea, no nothing, just straight water. Low carving on top of it, high protein, going to the gym three days a week. You know, getting my hair cut basically every week, you know, started like buying ridiculously out, you know, overpriced clothes for no other reason just to look good in them. Right.

And I ended up going out and buying a sports car. What kind of sports car? Oh, the car you're driving right now. that's making all the noise. Yeah, yeah. Just so you know, we'll talk about the, I'm going to talk about it on my intro because I don't want people to be irritated, but your, your Mustang that you bought to be cool is really fucking loud and bad for a podcast, but probably good to pick up chicks.

Listen, as a woman, I'm kind of into a car that a guy drives. And I know that sounds really terrible because a lot of girls don't really care, but, you know, some girls do. Well, it definitely turns a lot of heads. I mean, you know, it's got a big old 5-0 in it. You know, the motor is just ridiculously loud, and so is the exhaust. How much did you spend on it? After all the upgrades, because I ended up putting about $5,000 into it after I bought it.

How much should you buy it for? I ended up putting a tuner, cold air intake, new exhaust. Okay, but wait. That's like Chinese to me. How much did you buy it for? And I know you put in $5,000. How much did you buy it for? I bought it for a little over 20,000.

Oh, my God. It was used, and then you had to put in five more? Yeah. Okay. So you call this a midlife crisis. Like, it's no different than the 50-year-old guy that gets the Porsche and, you know, tries to look younger to pick up young chicks. Was this all happened two months ago?

Do this happen because that's when you met this girl? Well, that's when I really started noticing that, you know, I had feelings for her. if that makes sense. Where did you meet her? Well, we've been friends for years. Okay. I never really, I always kind of looked at her like she was my, your little sister. Like, I never looked at her that way.

And we ended up going to a party together and, you know, just hanging out like usual. And then it's like I'm like a switch turned on, you know, and I just, I'm looking at it. I'm like, my God, she is beautiful. And like, I've never, you know, I've never lied to this girl. You know what I'm saying? I've never, you know, I mean, she knows everything about me. Right. And, you know, it's just that, that feeling of being able to trust and being able to communicate.

But at the same time, also having that, you know, intimate attraction to her as well, and it just kind of, you know, that's when that final switch just clicked on, you know. Right. And you had never, all the years you were friends with her before that, you had never seen her that way? No, I never had because I was always the guy that was looking out for. Oh, okay. I was the one she came to when she was having problems with her relationships. When she was having, you know, issues with her parents, with her friends, she always came to me.

Mm-hmm. Okay. And so did you let her know that you were attracted to her, or is it still, like, sort of secret information? It's one of those things I really have not been comfortable to say anything to her because, A, I really, I don't want to fuck up our friendship, but at the same time, you know, I really care about her. And to an extent, I feel like there's a strong possibility that I may love her. But I just don't. Right, because listen, already, you know.

I don't say anything yet. Yeah. And I think you should wait a little bit until you, like, feel confident enough that you're going to make a move because you are such good friends with her, you know. But there is a chance that maybe she feels the same way. You don't really know. What's your history, though? Let me go back a little bit as far as, like, your dating history and stuff.

Like you're 28. How, like, when was the last time you had a girlfriend? Have you ever had a girlfriend? Oh, absolutely. My last girlfriend was actually a seven-year relationship. Okay. And when did that, how long ago did that end? That was about two years ago that that ended.

And it really took me a while to kind of, your repair, you know, to get, to be able to feel like I was really ready to put myself back out there in the dating pool. and try to, you know, make another run at it, more or less. Yeah, well, that's, I think that's more normal than not. I think anybody else that would say it was so easy and they snap back out of it after a seven-year relationship and started dating someone else, I think they're more delusional. I think you're probably, you know, kind of normal, right, in that you ended a relationship after being with someone for so long and you didn't just get over it in two seconds, you know, like I think that's very normal.

Well, I think, you know, as far as a healthy relationship goes, because I mean, I know there's people that are, you know, have serial relationships. And that's just something that I could never do. I couldn't just hop from person to person to person to person. You know, once I really develop a feeling for a person, it doesn't go away. Right. Now, this girl that you like now, right, did she know you when you were dating that girl or did you become friends with her after? No, we've actually been friends So you stayed friends with her the whole time

You were dating that girl And now has she dated anybody You know within that time? Has she had a long-term relationship? I wouldn't say anything long-term She's had a few relationships But nothing that probably lasted more than Right, and now is she friends with your ex-girlfriend?

Okay, cool So you're now, you and this girl After two months ago you had this feeling And were you drinking that night? I mean, do you think it was like an alcohol thing or it just like some weird switch that went off? Well, I mean, I was drinking but not to the point of impairment.

Right. And you've seen her, I'm assuming, since, and you're still have that feeling for her now. Well, I mean, we still hang out. You know, at least two or three times a week. She comes over to my house on a regular basis. And, you know, and we just, you know, we spend time together.

You know, we sit on the couch, cuddle, watch Netflix. What do you mean? I have a lot of guy friends, so I get all this shit that you're talking about. But when you get to the point where you're like, we cuddle, that's a little bit. I don't cuddle with my guy friends unless I'm sleeping with them. What do you mean cuddle? Well, I mean, you know, she stays the night at my house fairly regularly. Like, we sleep in the same bed, you know, like.

And but it's never gone anywhere past just, you know, me having an arm around her and falling asleep at night. That's about as far as it's going. Oh, yeah. You got to, like, yeah, okay. All right. So, but that's like, listen, that's not just friends. Okay, I'm serious. Like I said, I've, I'm the type of a woman who I have women friends, but I've definitely had

guy friends, you know. And some of my guy friends, I've crossed that line and started sleeping with them, like, and have been in the situation that you're in. But I have never had, I mean, I have, actually. I once had a friend and we dry hump, like, for a really long time. I never did anything. And we never really talked about it. And nothing ever happened.

It was, like, really fucking bizarre. You know, this whole sleeping with each other, especially now that you're starting to, like, like, I don't know. that's a little bit like weird and not bad. I'm not saying it's bad, but you don't want like that window of opportunity to close where you're just like her brother and she's cuddling with you, but it's just like cuddling with like, I don't even know.

I don't know. It's so weird to me that you say that you guys sleep in the same bed and you cuddle and you're just friends, but there's no other sort of attraction. Do you think that she might be attracted to you as well? I'll be honest with you. I'm really not sure. Because I think the fact that we've known each other for so long and the fact that, you know, we have that level of comfortability with each other, you know, I think she's probably already kind of shoved me off into the friend zone, if that makes sense.

Yeah, she might, but when did the cuddling happen? Like, you didn't cuddle when you were dating your girlfriend, did you? No, no. But, like, any time that, you know, I was, like, when we were in high school together, when we, you know, my first couple years in college, you know, it was. was a pretty regular thing for her to come stay the night and, you know, it's just, it's always been that way to an extent. Now, when I was dating my ex, which she absolutely hated my ex, my ex wasn't really fond of her either. Um, you know, she still came over to the house, you know, on a regular basis, you know, and if she crashed there, you know, she'd sleep on the couch or

whatever, but, you know, she still, you know, hung out with me a lot. Like, we've just been that close for years. She's, you know, honestly, the best friend I've ever. had probably the best person I've ever known. Yeah, listen, I love that as a foundation for a relationship. Like, honestly, there was a movie called When Harry Met Sally. I don't know if people your generation watch it, but it was like my favorite movie growing up. I was always like, oh my God, I want to marry my best friend.

I think friendship in a relationship is what's missing in a lot of people's relationship. Like, I think it's really a great thing to have, like to be real friends, you know, because a lot of people hook up in relationships because they just want to fuck the other person and there's a lot of sexual attraction. but there isn't that compatibility of like a friendship, you know, and that's those relationships that you see that are so horrifying, you know, and they're just like, I don't know, they're kind of miserable. But when you see the couples that are really like, you know, besides they have a sexual attraction to each other, they like really like each other as people and they're like friends, like that's the cool

couples as far as I'm concerned, you know? That's what I would strive for for a relationship if I'm going to settle down with somebody. And so I think it's like a great thing to have, you know, before a relationship. I mean, it could develop within a relationship, but it's great that you've been such good friends with her and you feel that way. And then when you add the sexual attraction to it, like what are you missing? Like nothing. You just need to know whether that attraction is there for her, you know?

But I just think like, you know, so you and your girlfriend break up and then you guys like and then she's like, okay, because I've been friends with guys and I've stayed friends with them through their girlfriends, right? and their girlfriends hate my guts. Like all the stuff that you say, like I said, I've totally been there. But what, like the minute you and your girlfriend broke up, did she start coming over and when she would sleep over now,

she went back into your room? Actually, that didn't really start immediately because she was dating someone at the time. But after her and her most recent ex broke up, you know, things kind of fell back into normal because I ended up moving, you ended up buying a house after me my most recent ex split up. And, you know, I bought a house and, you know, she's over so much.

I mean, she might as well live with me almost. You know, I mean, we're not like living together. Like she hasn't moved a lot. I mean, some of our stuff's there. But, you know, she hasn't like, you know, moved in with me. But she stays with me fairly regularly. And after about a few months after me and my ex broke up is when things kind of just went back to normal.

Right. But you say normal and I say bullshit. Okay. Because if it was like normal. to cuddle with your friends, okay? Like you guys would not start and stop this when you guys were like dating people and not dating people. The fact that you guys like stop doing that when she's in a relationship or you're in a

relationship and then you start up again when you guys are both single means that on some level you know that it's not like what normal friends do. I mean, everybody knows that. I mean, it's so obvious. But the fact that that like I said stops and starts, it's not like a normal thing that friends do. There is something going on there already that maybe is subconscious for both of you. You had like you sort of came into like, you know, the switch happened for you where you're like, oh my God. I think she must have the same feelings for you. I really do. I could never cuddle

with somebody that I don't on some level feel something for her. Do you know what I mean? Like honestly, you just the sexual attraction is probably going to be there if it's not there already sometimes you just need to make out with somebody to know I had a very good friend of mine that I was friends with for like 15 years before we made out and if and he had to be drunk when I don't drink and if you would have told me like if you would have like paused the scenario when he was like one inch away from my face about to make me make out with him and said oh my my God, do you think you're going to be attracted to this guy? I would have been like, no, I'd rather throw up than make out with him. Like, I was that not interested in him. And he, like, laid it on me

and kissed me. And, like, let me tell you, I had the sickest chemistry with him. And so it changed my life. It made me see things very differently. What I always tell people, and I wish I was friends with this girl that you're wanting, you know, get with is that I always tell people, like, sometimes you don't know whether there's chemistry there unless you like make out with somebody like really you have to cross that line because you just don't know and I never thought that before that experience you know but I was never cuddling with that guy do you understand the fact that she's comfortable enough and cuddling with you it means that I believe this is what I believe and you know I like I say I give unprofessional advice on my podcast but what I believe is that she there's something going on

conscious for both of you. You, that's of conscious feelings for her that you had is now conscious, right? That's what happened when you sort of all of a sudden saw her that way. I think she has the same thing going on and she either, it's in her conscious mind and she knows it too and she's just playing the game until you make the move, you know, or she doesn't realize it yet, but maybe if you make a move on her, she will. Okay, because cuddling with a guy when a guy and a girl does I don't care how close of friends you are. It's just, it's a little bit something more. There's something more there.

Like I said, you wouldn't be doing, you guys wouldn't stop doing it if it was like the normal thing to do with a friend. It's not normal. Had tons of guy friends. I only would cuddle with ones that I would maybe, you know, be attracted to or used to sleep with or did sleep. You know what I mean? You guys have never slept together, right? Never fooled around even when you were drunk.

Nothing's ever happened. to you guys besides the cuddling, right? Right. Okay. Why do you think, why are you so stuck on the fact that this girl wouldn't like you because of your looks? Like, do you think that that's like the one thing that's stopping her from crossing the line? Maybe she just needs you to make a move. Well, you know, I know her better than pretty much anyone else's world does.

And, you know, I've seen the guys that she's dated over the last few years. Yeah. And she has got very particular tastes, if that makes sense. No, totally. And I think the fact that we've been so close in our relationship as, you know, basically, because it's been platonic, you know, all these years. And I think the fact, well, number one, I know she hates sleeping alone. She always has, like, I get that, I do.

You know, and, you know, it just makes me wonder, like, if I make a move, am I going to completely screw up what we've built on for use? Well, right. You know, she could call me at 3 o'clock in the morning and I would jump without hesitation to come get her if she was somewhere

she felt uncomfortable being. Right. I totally get it. I've had these kind of relationships with guys. I know. I understand. People that, it's weird to me when people like don't have like guys or girls or their friends or vice versa. You know, because I've had those relationships.

and I think that they're so invaluable and it's really great. It helps you learn about the opposite sex, you know, and there's a lot of like positives about it. So I've had that very close relationship. I get how close you guys have. I think all that is really good. But right now you're trying to take it to the next level. And maybe you need, I mean, have you ever like, like, besides the cuddling, has there ever been any kind of flirting or sort of sexual innuendos being thrown out there?

I think you can't maybe you can't just go right in and try to make out with her. Maybe it's better to just like, you know, throw some, you know, just throw some shit out there and see if she bites, you know, like in a safe kind of way, right? Like, have you ever tried that? Like, maybe flirting a little bit or making a comment that maybe is crossing a line that you haven't just to see her reaction? Well, there's been a few times where certain exchanges. as far as, I mean, things that could be misconstrued as being innocent, but I'm not so sure they were. Okay, give me an example. Like, we would be laying in bed one night.

And, you know, I'm sure that she's either really good at faking being asleep or not. But, you know, I mean, just, you know, start, you know, rubbing her ass on me a little bit. Oh, my God. That's like, oh, my God, stop. She just wants you to make a move. Are you kidding? You know what I used to do? pull in the bar, like, and it's the same move.

It's like, when I'd be in the bar with my guy, because there was a lot of guy friends that I had that I was like secretly into, okay, like it would happen because you're spending so much time with them, right? And if they're around the same league and like you're kind of good looking, they're kind of good looking, like, do you feel that way? And so I would literally like lean in and talk to my friend and whisper in their ear and I get really close to make sure like my tit would rub up against their arm. Like that's kind of stuff is not happening by accident.

Okay, if I rub my ass up against somebody that I'm not interested in sexually or I would move my ass so quickly like you don't even understand. Do you understand? The fact that she's rubbing her ass into you while you guys are cuddling is she is like letting you know that she wants you to make a move. This is where guys are so dumb. You could sit here and tell me how much you know her and you know her more than everything. But what you don't know is when a girl is giving you the okay. And it's not just you. It's most men are,

this is like a typical problem with men. Like they just sometimes don't fucking get it when it's so obvious. They don't understand the girls sort of moves. There's no way she would do that if she wasn't looking for you to hit on her. I'm serious. Nobody rubs their ass on somebody in their sleep. I mean, come on. Well, here's the thing.

Like, okay, so, you know, I'm one of those. And like you said, I'm one of those guys. I could not read between the lines if you gave me a magnifying glass. Yeah, most guys can. That's just a normal guy. Yeah, like, I just, I do not read between the lines. I'm a very literal person. And, and that's one of those things with me is that I'm a southern gentleman is the way I like to put it.

You know, I'm not a redneck. I'm not a hick. I'm not a hillbilly. Totally. I'm a southern gentleman, which I'm sure you can't miss the southern draw on my voice. Yeah. It's so apparent it's retarded. Yeah.

But, you know, I just, um, But I mean, I've always been of that, of that way. Like, I'm not going to push myself on someone, you know? But, okay, so let me ask you. Yeah. Sorry. Go on. There's been a few times when she's done it.

And I'll just kind of like, you know, look kind of be like, are you awake? And she doesn't say shit, you know? So it just kind of made me think, well, she's sleeping. No big deal, whatever. And I just roll over and go back to sleep. Okay. But let me just tell you from the female perspective why she doesn't say anything. Because when you say, when a girl's like, say I'm trying to subtly give a guy a hint that I want him to maybe like, you know, sort of make a move on me and I start rubbing my ass on him.

The last thing I want him to say is, are you awake? Like, then I think, oh my God, is he like horrified that I'm rubbing my ass like it? Does he want me to stop? Like what, like, because normally that wouldn't be the response, right, to that kind of move. What would, if somebody was interested in me, right? they would then rub back and maybe then make a move, right? So then she gets insecure. And of course she doesn't say, yeah, I'm awake and I'm rubbing your ass because I like you.

Like it's never going to happen. That's not, you know, that kind of stuff isn't talked about, right? So when you say that, are you awake? Like, and she doesn't say anything. It's because you just killed the moment. And I'm not saying like, you know, that's just the guy, girl stuff. Like you're just not understanding it from her perspective, right? she's kind of making a giving you a gigantic hint that she wants you to make a pass at her

and when you say that it makes her you're not very clear that you're interested in her because are you awake what the fuck does that mean do you understand so then she gets all shy and she's like okay forget it and she just says pretend she's asleep and that's why she does it when she that way because like I said when I was saying before like have you ever tried to throw something out there that's kind of safe just to feel her out. That's what she's doing by the ass move. Do you understand? That's what she's doing.

She's feeling you out. And she's probably a southern girl that wants a man to be a man and make the move. She doesn't want to make the move. Well, and at the same time, though, I mean, I just want her to kind of understand that, you know, I don't want to screw up what we've already got by pushing it to a level that she's not ready to take it. Right. And in all I see, yeah, I probably need to have that conversation. Yes. And I think because of the way you are, yeah, you need a conversation. I think the way that you are and the type of person that you are, it's going to take, the way you're going to cross that line is it's going to be a conversation. You know, I think what you just need to know, you just need to take the risk and have that conversation. I think that's your biggest fear is you have that conversation. And she's like, oh my God, I don't feel that way at all. But I think. think, you know, you could, I think from the ass thing move that she's making with you, the

cuddling, and I'm sure you have five more scenarios that she's done that I would be like, oh my God, duh. I think you should have that conversation with her. I think there's a very good chance that it will go in your favor. Give me some other things that she's done that you kind of don't understand that you think maybe mean she's into or maybe not? Like the ass move. Like what else has she done?

Well, I mean, like when she stays over, you know, she has no issue walking around in front of me, you know, in pretty much nothing or, you know, I mean, just. Yeah, yeah, I know. That should have been like clue number one. I get it. I do. No, I can't believe you left that out with the cuddling. A cuddling like naked?

Well, it's not something like when we're sleeping together. She's usually wearing like boy shorts and a t-shirt, you know. But when she gets up, she takes that off? Well, I mean, when she showers at my place and stuff like that, you know. So what does she do? Explain to me, she takes a shower and then what happens? She comes out and walks around naked looking for a towel? Well, usually, like, no, because she has a towel in there.

But, like, when she's, like, changing into her night clothes and stuff. You know what? She has no shame at all. So she comes out in what? wearing what? Nothing, a bra and panties, like, what is she exactly wearing when she comes out? I want the exact scenario. It's usually just her boy shorts and she's walking around looking for her bra. And so her tits are out.

Yeah, pretty much. And she just walks around and like she's talking to you while her tits are just right in your face. She's either a tease. I don't know what she is. Like, you know, who does that in front of a guy? I don't know. Does she like look you in the face and talk to you and you're like talking to her and she's just like topless and you guys are just having a normal conversation? No, it's not really like she's looking at me.

She's usually walking around the room looking for stuff and stuff like that. And like the conversation's not like, you know, like like, you know, there's not really any eye contact made there. Yeah. Yeah, it's just basically normal everyday conversation. Did she used to do that? Did she take showers at your house when you were dating that girl? She would occasionally, but it wasn't often. And when she did, you know, I mean, she would come out fully, you know, fully dressed.

Right. So it's the same. Right. So it's the same thing. Like when the girlfriends are out of the picture and the boyfriends are out of the picture, all of a sudden you guys are both crossing that line. Okay. There's something majorly going on here.

I think for sure you could cross the line with this girl and she's going to be into it. it. I don't know that. I don't know why you're focusing on like your looks and all these other things, but we'll get into that in a second of changing her appearance to get this girl. I think you already have her. I think you just need to have that conversation with her. I think she's giving you. Okay, besides the, I want to see if there's any more clues. She walks around toopless in front of you. She cuddles with you. She rubs her ass, you know, into you while she's pretend fake sleeping. What, anything else? Um, that's pretty much.

Yeah, I mean, you know, we're flirty sometimes. In what sense? You know, like, I mean, just like, you know, like exchange in your windows. Yeah, I mean, but it's mostly, you know, like really, really like blunt stuff that we don't even mean. But it just, it just comes out that way. If that makes any sense. Oh, my God. There's, you feel sexual.

Like, one thing, like, one thing that me and her really enjoy, like, we are both, like, stand-up comedy junkies. Like, we will sit up and watch comedy shows. on Netflix or Comedy Central till like fucking 3 in the morning. And these are on like, I gotta be at work four hours later, you know.

So you guys have a comedy, get back to that. So you love stand-up comedy and you guys have that in common. Well, that and the fact that we're both musicians as well, that's where our biggest bond is. No, but you were going to tell me

another scenario that is like, I was like, we'll be watching, you know, like a stand-up comedy special or something. and, you know, we'll make a joke in reference to something the comedian said, but it would be more or less aimed towards each other, almost in a, like, in your window, Sam. Yeah.

Let me ask you this. When she talks to you, does she touch you? Does she touch your hand, your leg? Like, when she talks to you, she's very touchy-feely with you. Well, I mean, and that's kind of the way we've always been, because me and her both are extremely affectionate people. Yeah, me and her both did not grow up. in families that were affectionate.

And because of that, you know, well, and yeah, I mean, both of us are. I mean, you know, we hug a lot, you know, kiss on the cheek, you know. You know, if we're in the car together, you know, we'll hold hands or, you know, just little things like that. Oh, my God. You guys are holding hands. Well, I mean, I know that that should be kind of a, you know, a clue of what, you know, her interests may be. Right, or she just might be a needy weirdo that just does that with people.

Let me ask you this. Does she have other guys that are her friends besides you? I think she pretty much has a couple, but like no one that she spends time with like she does. Right, that's what I was going to ask. Like, did you, do you know if she cuddles with all of her guy friends? As far as I'm concerned or from what she's told me, I'm the only one that she feels that comfortable with. So you have had that discussion. Oh yeah, of course

I really wanted to I really wanted to be short Because I mean me myself I have that jealous streak in me like any other guy though You know And even though she's not mine I can't to some extent help but see her as being mine You know because even though we are not physically intimate

We are still intimate in some way Yeah right if you lost her to somebody you would lose a bit... Yeah, if you lost her to somebody or when she gets a boyfriend and it would be like a bandit. Like you would lose a big part of your life. I mean, she's a big part of your life. Right?

So, you know, whatever some guy comes around, you know, there's always, there's that way, that she probably feels the same way, you know. There's always, girls are that way with their girlfriends. You know, it's, that's a normal sort of feeling to have when you're very, very close with somebody. You know, we all have like abandonment issues detail inside. So, you know, why do you, like, can we get back to the fact that you think, like,

because this whole thing is supposed to be about, like, you're looking for advice of how to look better so you could get this girl because she's a 10 and you're like an 8 at your best. But like, what kind of guys, you said that she, like, is very specific about her taste and she goes after certain kind of guys. What's her taste in guys? Like, what is her, I mean, her type? Like, what's her type? Well, for her, I mean, she, you know, she dates guys usually that are at least a good

six. six inches taller than me. Okay. You know, like she, she really likes that tall, you know, thin figure. And me, I'm kind of a little on the short side, stocky, you know, like not fat, but still, like, kind of thick. Yeah, yeah, I like that body type, but I totally get it. Okay, now, so every guy she's been with, is it only the past couple guys or like,

that's like her, that's always been the kind of guy she's been with? That's pretty much like every boyfriend she's ever had. what they look like. Okay. And are they like super good looking or are they just tall? Like what are they on scales of one to ten? Are they all tens, nine's?

Probably at least nines. If not tens, like, yeah. So she's like a really attractive woman who gets really attractive guys. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fair assumption.

Right. So there is, listen, I'm just going to be completely honest with you. There is a, Like there besides her like because I keep talking about how it's so obvious that she's into you and like maybe you could have a relationship with her and you could cross the line. There's another thing that could be going on here. And this is why you have to be, you might have to be careful about like how you make the move and what you do. Because what could be go. Yeah. What could be going on is she kind of looks at you and says, you know, like you know, there's something there. Right. She likes to cuddle. with you. She likes to rub up against you. She likes to be friends with you. But like maybe if you're not a

nine or a 10, she feels like she could do better. So she just like uses you for, you know, what she uses you for until she meets that guy that's like a little bit more her type. Do you know what I mean? Because she, you said, she happens to be the type that's very needy. She doesn't like to sleep alone. She needs always to be like, you know, sort of touchy feeling and stuff. So yes, she definitely could be using you as a surrogate. I've, in my relationships with guys that have liked me and I didn't like them, I was kind of doing that and vice versa, I believe. I believe that some guys that were guy friends that I was into, like they were using me

as somebody, but I wasn't really their cup of tea or the end-all be-all. And so, you know, they sort of went to a certain place with me, but it just never crossed the line because when it came down to it, they were never going to date me, right? That could be going on, unfortunately. I mean you probably know that on some level. Yeah, right? So I'm not like, I'm not right. That's where you, that's what you think.

And the only way you're going to know is by sort of putting it out there. And I have to say, I do believe that you would not mess. I don't think you would mess up your friendship. If you put it out there in a certain way. Like I wouldn't tell her that you're in love. with her, I wouldn't make it a heavy-duty, serious conversation. But if you just kind of put it out there in a way that wasn't so major, you could get an answer from her or get an idea of how she was feeling without sort of ruining the relationship. Like, say she was like, yeah, I'm not interested

in you that way. It could totally be a non-event and it could be fine. If you don't make it so serious, I think that's what you should do. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, and more than likely, more than likely, I think I'm actually going to bring it up to her sometime in the relatively near future and just to see what, just see what her reaction would be and then kind of go from there. And what would you say to her? More than likely, it was probably going to be one of the nights that we're just kind

of, you know, sit and chilling watching Netflix or whatever. And I'm probably going to point blank ask her, you know, has she ever had any interest in me that was beyond what we already have. Right. I think that's smart. See what her mindset is from there. And, you know, if it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

Right. And do you really think it's going to ruin your friendship? If she says, no, I'm not that into you. Like, I just think of you as a friend. Like, is that going to ruin your friendship? Do you think she'll be freaked out by knowing that maybe you feel a little different? Like, you know her well. How do you think she'll react if she's not into you?

I really don't think that if it's not what I'm hoping it is, I don't think she's going to react very favorably about it. Oh, really? I really don't. And that's why that's another reason why I've been so hesitant to say anything either. I mean, yeah, she's kind of put out, you know, either what is mixed signals or either, you know, is the real thing, whatever it may be. But, you know, with the same, you know, with the same hand here, it's which one of those things. But I just, I don't know. I know that more than likely, if it's not what I'm hoping it could be, yeah, it's probably

going to ruin our friendship. And then one of the biggest parts of my life, you know, just walks out. Yeah, but, you know, sometimes situations like this, okay, first of all, you know, they just come to a head because they have to, right? Like, I mean, I don't know how you turn back from, you know, that two months ago, that light switch going off for you, right? It just might be kind of shit or get off the pot because it's a little bit weird. Like, you know, it's a little bit weird having, say she doesn't like you, right?

And that's not going on. Then what did the, do you want to be someone surrogate that is like a 10 that is keeping you on a string? And you're like sort of pining for that person. Like, you know, it's like maybe then if you lose that friendship with her, it'll force you to go back out there and find another woman that would be the right woman for you that will be into that you could have another, you know, seven to 10, 20 year relationship with. Maybe you're ready for that. And so like, what do you need her for?

If you had a real relationship with a girl that you really cared about and fell in love again, like you wouldn't need her as that best friend because you should establish that kind of relationship with the girl that you're actually with. And so it'll either be with this girl or not. And then I think that what will happen is it means that you're ready to meet somebody that is the real deal, that you have everything from, not just like, because you get a lot from her, you know, say it is a surrogate situation, right? You're getting a lot from her. But there's something missing there. It's not a total relationship. And maybe you're ready for that now. And I think in a weird way, if it doesn't work out with her, the best thing will be for you to sort of not have her in your life because then it'll, force you to, because you'll be so uncomfortable and so lonely and you won't have any of the stuff that she gives you that maybe you'll be more likely to give somebody a chance and maybe that's what you need to do to get in a new relationship. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes these surrogate

kind of relationships keep you from, you know, getting with somebody real because they're kind of fulfilling enough, right? And people do that all the time. I really hate almost think this way, But at the same time, though, I think there's a possibility that she's actually kept me from several good relationships just because women were intimidated by the relationship that me and her had. Of course. And why is she going to change that? Because if you are her surrogate, listen, I'm not saying that that's a done deal. Like, I would love for this story to end, and I can't wait to find out what happens, where you guys get together and it's like when Harry and Sally and everything works out, right? And I have heard that story, just so you know, I swear to you, I've heard that story,

best friends, like all of a sudden get together and they live happily ever after. That absolutely can happen. I think of this scenario, it's 50-50, okay? But I've also known the scenario where, you know, people are kind of using each other to keep themselves occupied until they meet, like, the right person. Because, like, it's kind of like having your cake and eat it too, right? That also could be going on. And yes, for sure, she doesn't want.

want to lose you. Say, no one wants to lose their surrogate. You know, you serve a very big purpose in her life as well, as much as she's serving for you. But I do believe that if it doesn't work out with her, that you, if you had a real relationship, you wouldn't need what she's giving you. You would be okay because you would sort of, you know, establish all of that kind of intimacy with somebody new in a real relationship, somebody that you could eventually marry, have kids with. You're a southern gentleman, in your relationship guy, you're with someone for seven years. You sound like the type of person that would probably be happier in a relationship. And, you know, maybe you're getting ready to meet the right person for you that you're going

to spend the rest of your life with or, you know, get married. Are you at that place yet that you could see yourself like getting married and having kids at your age? Or is that like not something you're looking for? Well, I think there's definitely, I mean, either way, it's going to work out for the best. That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's a big deal if you lose, like I do think it's a big deal. I'm a very firm believer in the fact that, like, things always happen, even bad things for, like,

the greater good of somebody, right? So, like, I really believe that if you lose her, it's just time. And you'll eventually meet somebody and they'll be really right for you. And you'll look back and realize that all of that had to happen so that you could, like, move on with your life. So I believe that that light switch went off on you because either it's time for you and her to start dating or it's time for you to let go of her and walk away from that because you're really ready to be in a relationship with somebody right you haven't had a relationship in two years

it's probably time and it's going to be either with her probably is I mean you know and I'm I mean I'll be interested to see where you know where the cards fall me too because like I said I love I love nothing more than to see two friends like hook up. Like it's my favorite story and some of my favorite relationships. I have a very good friend of mine who's been on my show. She's a comedian actually. And she married her best friend. And I remember being with her the night she decided it was like the same thing that happened to you. She just like all of a sudden decided one night like, oh my God, I'm so horny for this guy. She was friends with him through her long term boyfriends, everything, kind of very similar to your situation. And he was married and now he was

divorce. She was in like a 10-year relationship, but now she was single. And she was just like, oh my God, I'm just horny for him. And she went after him and they got together. And they're married now. And they're like, have one of my favorite relationships. So I would love to see you guys together. But if not, I don't worry for you. You're not a serial dater, right? But I do believe you're like a person that's like, you know, ready for another real relationship. And I do believe that that will be right around the corner for you. So either way, you're going to be fine. I don't listen. What can you do to make yourself better? You just said you lost a lot of weight. You started going to the gym. You bought all this nice clothes. You cut your hair every week. You know, like what more can you do? I don't, I don't think

that there's anything more that you could do. I think you know what to do to make yourself look. I think you're maxed out. Okay. Everybody could max themselves out. Like you can't be better looking than your maximum potential, right? So you're probably at your max. And that's all you could do. You know, me, I don't know, maybe your clothes could be better. Maybe your hair could be cut differently, but there's not much else you could do besides the stuff that you've already done to make yourself more than an eight. I would just say make sure you're an eight every time you see her, you know, but I don't think it's an appearance problem. I know that you're putting that out there and that's what you're looking for as the solution to this. I think really that's just avoiding the fact of what you know is the next step, which is you just have to have that conversation with her.

stop wasting your time and do with all the other stuff, you know? Well, and sometimes I really also consider, you know, am I just opting into you know, something familiar instead of something right? Right, you don't know.

Of course, yeah. You don't know. Only because of the fact that, I mean, there's a lot of things I don't like about her, but I'm used to the shit I don't like about her. If that makes sense. Yeah, uh-huh.

Yeah, just like for one thing, like, I've always, like, the kind of women I've usually dated in the past were very strong women. Mm-hmm. You know, where she is more of a, I don't want to say user because I don't think that's the right word, but at the same time, you know, she is, I mean, she's not really that ambitious. You know, she's very much procrastinator, you know, lazy as hell. You know, but, you know, she knows what she wants when she wants it.

Mm-hmm. you know and that's why I really figured that you know if that was what she wanted she would have approached me about it a long time ago right she's not really the shy type you know whereas I'm very introverted she is very extroverted right you know she's missed life of the party I'm usually the guy standing in the corner nursing is beer yeah but sometimes right but sometimes opposites are are very good for each other maybe not I don't I don't really know, you know, but all of the scenarios, it seems like you're like super smart and you've looked at things. And as much as you say, you can't read between the lines, it seems like you see this situation exactly the way I do. You see all the reasons that, you know, she could be acting the way that she is. You see all the reasons of why maybe you even like her. Like it could be that you like her and just a happen. All of a sudden, you see her in a different way. Or like you just said, like that she's just familiar and you're going for like the easy girlfriend, you know, the

Insta relationship. Who knows? The only way you'll know is if it's time to like take that next step, you know? What you need to do is you just need to have that conversation. And I'm so curious of how it goes. Either way, like I said, I think it's a happy ending. And I think it's really good. I think I change my stats.

I say 60% you guys are surrogates, 40%. There's a chance of a relationship. But we'll see. I'm dying to know. Well, I've definitely enjoyed our conversation, and I appreciate your advice, and I'll let you know where it goes when I find out. Yeah, but can I just ask you a timeline? Like, how long do you think it's going to be before you, like, make that, have that conversation with her? Probably a couple days.

Oh, cool. Okay. I like instant gratification myself. Okay, good. I was hoping you were going to say, like, oh, two months from now, I think I'm going to make this time. Okay, good. So keep me posted because I would love, like, I think this. is one of the situations that not only would I like to know how it goes, everybody else will want

to know because this, like I said, I think it could go either way. And I think I'd love to either you just give me the quick update or if a whole thing goes down, I'd love to have a part two and we'll just, you know, get the update on the phone. I would love that. So keep me posted for sure. I absolutely will. All right. So I look forward to hearing and good luck. All right. Thank you. you. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August

25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip

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