Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1536 - Beverly is Into Adult Breastfeeding AND She’s Having a Secret Affair with A Guy Online

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Beverly is into adult breastfeeding and she’s having an affair with a guy online and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when she got into “adult breast feeding, when she brought it up to her husband and how he felt about it, the problems the hardcore process she had to go through to get milk in her breasts again, how he had to learn how to “latch on” and what that entailed, how long it took before she started producing milk, what went down when she first started breast feeding her husband, how often she now breast feeds her husband, what she has to do to continue to lactate, the adult breast feeding group she joined and what the people online would do with each other, the guy she met in the group and how their “relationship” started, the guy’s marriage and why he was secretly on the site to begin with, why she was online looking for connections with strangers instead of looking for it from her husband, how and why their online connection turned sexual and then emotional and the the naughty thinks they do together, the things her husband complains to her about what’s lacking for him, the things she’s tried to bring them closer and why they haven’t worked, how getting her needs met from someone else makes her feel about not getting them met from her husband plus a whole other more. REPEAT THURSDAY, originally aired 04/25 GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  or Pre-order audiobook version ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To see HOT pics of LUCI plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beduc.at/pd2626-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized SUMMER roadmap to sexual happiness  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LoadBoost.com⁠⁠⁠- To get 10% off LOAD BOOST by VB Health, use code: STRICTLY   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Buy 2 months of Bluechew GOLD and get the third month FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bollandbranch.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code STRICTLYANON for 15% off Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Sam for a retirement. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehide your whip. and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to

follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because they change everyone's voices and names. Okay. So if you have an interesting secret naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous if you're out and proud, you can email me at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show. Now listen, if you have a naughty confession, you want to leave on my confessions line. You could do that 247. The number is 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. Call from a quiet place. I can't use ones when people call where they're driving. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go on to my Patreon. Now,

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I promise you, you will not be disappointed. My Discord is full of great effing people. Okay. So if you buy my book, send me a screenshot of your purchase and I will send you the link to my Discord. The last thing I'm going to tell you about is if you want to sign up first, for SDC.com. I do have a free trial for my listeners. SDC is like the world's largest online and dating website. And it's not just a place where you could hook up with people. You could learn

all about the lifestyle. You could find out about all the lifestyle events and meetups and all kinds of things going on in your neighborhood as well as if you're going to travel and you want to have a little fun. You're going to find it all on SDC.com. Like I said, you get a free trial. If you use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link that's 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. Okay, today I have on Beverly. Oh my God, I don't know what part of Beverly's story I was more interested in. She's got two parts and I equally, I dedicated equal amount to each parts. One part is the fact that she got very into adult breastfeeding with her husband. She breastfeeds him twice a day, every day, okay, for like a year and a half. And she talks about

how she got into it, how it started, how she got milk in her breast, how her husband felt about it, and what exactly goes down and all that kind of good stuff. And then we talk about the fact that she actually is having an online affair, a very hardcore one. I mean, she's definitely really into this guy that she met on a breast, adult breastfeeding forum, right? At a certain point in her breastfeeding story, she goes into this community, starts innocently chatting with people and winds up in a full-fledged affair with a guy. Now, she has not met him in person, but they're very naughty with each other. And she talks about how naughty they are, how much she likes him.

And when then we discuss that whole online affair the next half hour. It's such an interesting story. It's sort of like the cheating thing is so relatable. When you hear about her issues she's having with her husband, I think you'll relate to her. Some people will relate to her. Some people will relate to her husband. Other people will relate to the guy she's cheating with because he's married and then a sexless

marriage himself and there's a lot of shit going down. Like I said before, both parts of her story are so fascinating. You're going to love this episode. People are going to make a lot of comments to it, I think, but I'm going to get right to it. And Beverly send me in Pecks. I have them over on my Patreon, Anonymous Pecks of Beverly over there. She'll also be on my Discord. But anyway, I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Beverly. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Hey, Beverly. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous. this podcast. How are you today? Thank you. I'm good. How are you? I'm good. So, Beverly,

you're calling in to talk about your adult breastfeeding and your cheating, online cheating. It's online cheating and breastfeeding. I'm like, it's kind of rhymes and I kind of like it. Yeah, it's interesting. Very interesting. I once had a woman on. Now, she had this whole other backstory where she worked at a swingers club and that was like really interesting. But then she had this whole other thing where she talked about how she was very into like lactating. She had a lactating fetish, which I think is different than what you're talking about, but maybe the same thing I don't know. And she like never even had a baby. She was like doing hormones to start lactating and stuff. And I got to tell you, a lot of people I found out were into this fetish. But just real quick,

when you say adult breastfeeding, what are you talking about? Like, do you actually have milk coming out? Do you need it? Or you're just like like guys to suck on your tits or something? I don't even know what you mean by that. So there's a couple ways that you can go about it. Yeah. Some people have what they call. like dry nursing. Yeah. So they will do the act of breastfeeding without milk or you can add milk to it,

which would be more like the wet nursing part. I do have milk. Oh, so you're like, so like that lactation, like the woman who had a like did was into lactating and lactation. It's the same thing, right? You're talking about the same thing, correct? I mean, I think so. I haven't heard the episode, but I mean, it sounds very similar, yes.

Yeah, because you want to lactate in someone's mouth, right? Same shit. You're best feeding. Correct. It's all about that. Oh, my God. Okay, so where do we go first with you? Let's get your story of where, like, let me just get a snapshot of where you're at right now,

Beverly. You're married, I'm assuming? Where in that right now? Yes, I'm married. I've been married for a very, very long time. And I essentially, I breastfeed my husband multiple times a day. Oh, my God. And you can't make the shit up.

You can't. And I met a guy on, like, the breastfeeding platforms. They have places where you can go and talk to people and meet people. and all of that. So I met somebody on there that I have formed an online relationship with. I've never met him. So that's kind of where I'm not sitting. But you're sneaking around sort of like having like online sex and shit like without your husband knowing. Is that why you call it an affair? I call it an affair because I feel like it's very emotional. I feel like I'm very emotionally connected to this man. Okay. But let's get into like you're and your husband's relationship. You've

been married a long time. When did breastfeeding him come into play? And How? Because I've never heard. Yeah. So it was almost this summer, it'll be two years ago. Okay. That we, that I had, I don't even remember specifically how I stumbled upon it, but it was, I, pretty positive it had to do with some porn that I was watching. Okay. And it, I somehow stumbled upon a couple that do it to be closer to each other. And at the time, my husband and I were going through lots of shit, right?

Oh, okay. And I was like, okay, well, you know, how can we make this work? What can we do? How can we bring, like, the spark back great? And so I was like, I came across this and I did some research and I did all the educational stuff about it to try to see what kind of stuff that would take. So that probably took me, I don't know, a good six months or so to even bring it up to him.

Yeah, it's interesting that you were the one. He's so vanilla. Yeah, to me, it's interesting that you were the one that stumbled upon this. Listen, we all stumble upon things when we're Googling for porn. right to what I get how that could happen right all of a sudden you know now could I ask you a quick question were you always someone that's like your nipples and your breasts are like a big part of sex for you like you could get you get really turned on by it you know actually no I was the complete opposite really my breasts basically for my babies and like when he would mess with them

or anything like that during sex like it really wasn't that big of a deal for me oh like after you had babies yeah but now that I'm lactating again it's game on. Yeah, but so when you were like going down that rabbit hole by accident one day, you come across this video and it was like a woman breastfeeding a guy or something, like they were playing that kind of role play together. Yes. And you got like horny for it for some reason.

Oh, absolutely. Interesting. And so how do you bring it up? So yeah, it took me a while to even bring it up. Yeah. And I mean, I would kind of drop subtle hints every once a while about it. Like what would you say? And like, oh my God, if you keep doing it.

you're going to make milk come out or whatever. Oh. You know, like when he was like talking about my teeth during sex or whatever. Yeah. And he would just kind of give him and laugh or whatever. And then I think I just made so many jokes about it. He made a comment that he's like, would you like that? Do you want to do that?

My God. This is what I've learned. Well, listen, you're like, it worked what you were doing, dropping those little hints. He eventually got it. Good for him. Yeah, absolutely. Real quick, but I remember exactly where we're at with this breastfeeding. Okay, I'm going to get right back to it.

But real quick, could you just tell me, like, what were the issues you guys were having? Was it just in the bedroom or were they problems that you were having that were also outside of the bedroom? I would say both, you know, because we were raising kids and so everything was always about the kids, right? Like, our relationship and everything that we did together came after all of the kids. and so that kind of transferred into the bedroom to where, like, my hormones were jacked. I didn't feel like having sex. Like, it was a rough time for there for a while. Yeah, I think it's very common.

Yeah. Some of my favorite relationships for my friends are the ones who never had kids. Right, yeah, because you don't go through all the hormone stuff and the changes and, you know, the sleepless nights and having to take care of the kids. And it just takes a toll on a marriage and they don't tell you that. Yeah, it gives it a whole different feel. It gives it a whole different feel, too. There's a whole different purpose. It's a different kind of a thing.

And I don't say one is better than the other. I just find that like the couples that never had kids, they don't deal with any of that stuff. But a lot of people that do go through this time, and it can be a very difficult thing, especially because it sounds like getting more than one, right? Like, how many kids did you have in a row? I have four. Yeah. That's a lot of fucking kids. Yeah.

Yeah. So it was a lot of time dedicated to them. And, you know, after a while, you kind of just forget who you are. Totally. I had one. And I could tell you Beverly every night. I was like, thank God I'm not fucking Beverly. Okay.

Like I was like, thank God at the end of the night because I was a single mom and I had a baby on my own. I was like, thank God. I don't have to blow some guy now at the end of my day because your brain is like sizzled after you're with an infant all day, right? You know what I mean? I know that feeling. And I didn't have to tend to anyone.

I don't know how you women did it or do it, right? And tend to your guy at the end. And that person doesn't he tending to. It's a lot of fucking work. So I give you credit. And you have four of them plus your husband, who's another. or baby who you have to tend to? Pretty much.

Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. So you're like, Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. Okay, so you guys are like having these issues. You decide to like spark things up with this.

You're bringing up. He finally gets the hint, right? Now you at this point had Google that it's going to take a while for you to get milk and stuff already. Were you trying to, were you already doing the things that you needed to do to get the milk? Or had you not started until your husband was on board? I had not started. Okay. No, I waited until he was on board as well.

Okay. Because then I didn't know how I'd explain that one. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so he starts bringing it up like, would you want to and stuff? And then what happens after that? Yeah, I just kind of explained to him what I had learned, all the education that I had learned from it, what the steps would be and what that would look like. And the dedication and, you know, that it's not easy. And sometimes it doesn't happen for some people.

Yeah. And he was okay with giving it a go. I mean, he honestly didn't think he was. work. Right. And was he turned on by it or was he just like down to try something now? Well, I think he was turned on by it. Yeah. I mean, you know, guys are horny. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I could definitely tell that, you know, he enjoyed spending time at my breast. So. Yeah. Okay. So now, explain the process of what you have to do to get milk into your breast when you're not pregnant. Okay. So I think it's different for everybody. Like I said, I've read a lot of

information and everybody kind of works different. But it just sometimes it depends on how long you've been since you were breastfeeding before. Oh, interesting. Okay. So I'm talking, right, yeah. So if it's only been a couple years, you'll get, you'll get there faster. If it's been, you know, a decade or more like it was for me, it takes a lot longer to bring in the milk. Yeah, obviously. Right? So you literally have to pump or suck or express somehow, like with their hands or whatever, every two hours. But don't you also have to take medication to fuck up with your hormones? You don't have to, no. You don't?

You don't have to, no. If you decide not to, that also will extend sometimes how long it will take. Well, you know what? Maybe it was the reason why the other woman, the other woman did take stuff, but I think it's because she had never been pregnant. She had no kid. She was a younger woman. Maybe if you've never had kids and you never lactated, you have to do that?

I think it depends on the person. I really do. I think our breasts are meant to feed kids or no kids. Because there are people that breastfeed adopted babies all the time. Right. You can go through those steps. So you don't have to be pregnant to produce. No, because that's what their intentions are for.

You just have to get your mind in the mindset that this is what they need to be doing right now. Wow. Interesting. Okay. So you had Googled. You knew exactly what you needed to do. And then how did you get on it? he just after our conversation he says okay buy a pump so i ran out to the store the next day and

of course that you know i just got started and then the part that was the hardest i think was teaching him how to latch correctly well and right like what does that mean latch correctly like he doesn't just suck on it no yeah no it's not like you're just sucking through a straw essentially. Like, there's a technique to it. And if it's not done correctly, your titty's hurt. I don't know if I can say that word, but they hurt. Yes, you can. You can say any words here. Thank God. So, yeah, I mean, so we had to do trial and error on how he needs to properly, basically latch on. And it's essentially the same as when you latch on a baby. Well, how the baby latches on, but because we don't remember being babies. Like, what is that, what is it, how do they have to, how do they latch on? Can you

explain it? Okay, I can try. So again, I'm like a Google queen, right? Me too. So the best explanation I was able to find to try to explain to my husband was that if you think about sucking a milkshake through a straw. So your tongue kind of forms around the straw and you almost got to like really get a deep suck to it. Otherwise, you can't get the milkshake. Oh, that makes sense. Right. difference, though, if you're drinking water out of a straw or milkshake. So that's how that's like... Yeah, that just comes right through. But I mean, yeah. So the best thing I could think is like it's like a thick milkshake.

Mm-hmm. Interesting. And so and then you have to get the nipple all the way in the mouth and then you have to get it back towards basically, it's like that soft palate, you know, if you fill back in the rest of your mouth, that's where you want the nipple to go. And then they've got to get that tongue action to basically

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Really? When you say long time, do you mean like three days or do you mean three months? No, I mean like months. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, but once he figured. It was hard for me too because I couldn't remember how my baby's latched on. Of course. Right. So I'm like, that's still right. I don't remember. So I also had to educate myself on how it was supposed to feel for me to try to instruct him whether he was right or wrong. Right. Now, during that time while he was doing that, was he hurting you or were you like turned on by the process? I mean, I was turned on a lot, but, you know, after multiple times during the day, I mean, yeah, my nipples started to hurt.

Oh, my God. But then, well, let me ask you this. Once he started to learn, once he figured out how to latch on properly, was it like they said, like there was no pain for, from it? No, yeah, it doesn't hurt anymore at all. Interesting. Just by the way they latch on. And babies know how to do this. Isn't nature, amazing? Yes, they're so smart. Yeah, yeah, interesting. Okay, so he gets, let's get to the point where he latches on. Now, once he knows how to lack on, how long does he have to suck for before your breast start to fill up with milk? So I want to say, I was trying to remember back to how long it took me, I want to say it took me probably three months before I started seeing drops of milk. Wow, okay, and is that daily a couple times a week when you remember, like how much work for three

three months. So he was he was he was he was sucking twice a day in the morning and in the evening. And then every day I would I would I would every day and then I would pump every two hours the rest of the time that he wasn't around. This is a lot of work you're doing just to save your relationship. It's just kind of work. I give you credit. In the beginning like before my milk came in I was getting up in the night too. Oh my God. You could have picked an easier kink. I got to tell you. I mean, probably so. So interesting. Once the payoff is there and the connection is there, I mean, it's pretty good kink, really.

Yeah, no, I'm so glad I got a great episode out of it. I'm so glad you went down this path, Beverly. But I'm just like, you're like a crazy bitch because this is like, going back to like so many women probably who are like, you know, pumping now are like, who the fuck would do that with when they don't have to? You know, that's a lot of work you'd had to do for a long time. It is a ton of work. Absolutely.

And like, were you bring, would you work? Do you bring that shit to work and doing it probably? privately or were you like at home doing it? So I would only pump at home. Okay. So when it came to work, I mean, it's harder to be a little bit more discreet like that. So, I mean, I've heard of women, and I don't know if this was after their milk came in, they would use something called like a tinned unit to try to get their breasts to respond

because you've got to keep the, I mean, you've got to keep the simulation somehow. I don't know much about that. I didn't really get into that part, but I would just use my hands. Yeah, you know, that woman who was on, she sent me pictures. I have them on my page on my Patreon. And she was like, I guess she would do this in her car. And she was literally like in her car. This is the picture. And she has the pumps on her press. It's like she would pump in her car. I, I, yep. So yeah, I pump whenever I'm in the car. If I am by myself. Wow. Interesting. So that's not a rare thing to pump in the car. No. Okay. So you're pumping, you're producing three months later, you start to get a little. milk. Now, is your husband, like, it's so into it, and are you, like, is there this extra turn-on now that, like, milk is coming out of your titty for you? So, I mean, I think for us, the turn-on was just the connection

of us spending time together and nobody else. Interesting. Yeah, it's interesting. We were away from our kids, like, it was just him and I. So I think that was more of the turn-on. We just happened to be doing this in the process. Yeah, like in a weird way, this was the the catalyst, but it really wasn't the reason why you guys got closer because of it. It was more so just because of all the communication, all the time spent and all of that, right, because of what you were doing. I mean, I think so, yes. I think so.

I think it played a big role in it because we were, you know, I had to tell him if he was doing something wrong. I had to tell him if he was doing something right. I mean, we had not been communicating like this for years with the kids, right? So we were actually one on one time talking to each other. No, that's what I hear from people in the lifestyle too. Same shit. You know, it's like the opposite of what people would think.

People say brought their marriage closer because there's so much overcommunication that has to happen when you have an open relationship. And that over communication brings you closer because most relationships, especially longer term ones, especially ones with a lot of kids, you get on like autopilot. And a lot of times people are not talking to each other anymore. Like you're just talking about the kids, but you know what I mean? But you're not having those kind of close conversations you had in the beginning. But this kind of stuff does bring you closer because you do have to just fucking talk more to each other, which sounds so simple, right?

Yeah, people just don't do it. I mean, it sounds simple, but the people that are there know how not simple it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it's such a common problem. Okay, so now you're doing this breastfeeding and now, like, is he into it when the milk starts coming out? Is he, like, drinking it? Yes. He's swallowing.

Like, is that, that's what he does? Yes. Yep. Oh, my God. It's really good for you. It is? Oh, yeah. Well, they say that, right?

The colostrum? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I don't think you get colostrum unless you're pregnant. Oh, okay. So you don't get that. So what are the benefits? There are benefits to it?

Yeah, just like when you're breastfeeding a baby. I mean, there's vitamins and everything in it. Oh, my God. You know, for your immune system and everything. Yeah. That's really good for you. Have you tasted it? I have tasted it.

What does it taste like? I mean, I don't even, I've tried to decide what I feel like it tastes like. Yeah. But it's, it's like, kind of like coffee creamer, but not so sweet. Interesting. Like a thin coffee cream. Yeah. Like a half and half that's like diluted.

Maybe. I mean, I've never had half and half, but yeah, maybe. Yeah. So something like that. I mean, I think it tastes good. Like, I don't, I mean, it's not sour. It's not too sweet. It's not salt.

You know, it was, it's interesting. So yeah, if he doesn't take it in the morning and I have to pump, yeah, I'm drinking it because it's good for you. Oh, so you'll do the shot just for health reasons. Absolutely. Oh, my God. This is so interesting to me. Okay. So your husband and you now, like, are you still fucking and doing everything else too?

Like, does it end with like, does like the breastfeeding thing? Is that like the foreplay to your guys like nights now? Sometimes. I mean, we are very consistent with at least once in the morning and once in the evening. we don't always have sex. Right. With it. I mean, we can or we don't have to.

You know, sometimes, you know, if you tell them, you know, on the weekends or whatever, and we squeeze in a little, you know, nursing there or whatever, we don't necessarily have sex. But it does induce sex a lot. Right. But you also have to keep it up because this is the, oh, that's the only way for you to keep milk in your breasts, right? Correct. Yeah. Now, did your breasts go up in size, like cup size?

Mine didn't. didn't. So you didn't produce that much that they like blew up like when you were pregnant? No, no, no, no. No, it's it's not a ton. I would say, you know, under half an ounce at the moment right now. Wow. Now, how long have you been lactating and been having like milk in there and keeping this up for how long?

We're coming up on almost a year and a half. Wow. That's a lot of fucking suck it on your tits and work and all of this stuff and pumping. Do you still have to pump, by the way? If he doesn't, then yes. Otherwise, you know, your supply, just like with, you know, with a baby, if you don't hear it, your supply is going to drop. Yeah. But the more you do it, the more supply that you get.

Right. So if he sucks you off like at the beginning of the day and end like that, you're good to go and you don't have to pump? Yeah. Wow. I mean, you can. If I wanted to build up my supply, then I would still be doing it every couple hours. And I will still, you know, like at lunchtime at work or whatever. you know, I will express them sometimes at work just to, because they will get painful sometimes.

Yeah, do you ever express by accident and you're walking around in the office and everyone's staring at your one tit or does that not happen? No, no, no, no, that's never happened to me. Because you're not going to. You know, I'm not going to, no, no, no, no. But, you know, just keep the supply part up because then, like I said, it will drop. So, you know, if I do get a chance at lunchtime and stuff like that, I'll either hand express or go out to the vehicle and pump or whatever.

Now let me ask you this because listen I believe very much in a mind-body connection, right? So somehow you got your body with your mind, I think, and you know, just physically doing stuff to produce milk and make your body believe it's pregnant to feed a baby. Did it wind up like changing your hormones and making you more horny to like when you had like or anything or did it put you in like the nesting phase? Because I know like after I had a baby I was like not horny at all. It's like what the fuck happened? And so I was like, don't worry. Like that's a nesting phase and that's normal. And it was very true, you know. I think nature does that. Like, did you feel a shift in your body at all because you had, like, shifted your body to believe that it was, like, pregnant and nursing? I don't know if it has to do with, you know, age or whatever it could be, but, I mean, I have had baby fever. Oh, really? But, yeah. Don't you think it has to do with that? I don't know. What's baby fever to you? You want to have another fucking baby? I would or I would adopt a baby absolutely I think it's because you're like I think it's this milk thing

What? Well my kids are getting older So eventually they're going to all be out of the house So it could have something to do with that too Where you know I don't know I think it has to do with this okay But you never know I mean I don't know you have four kids So obviously you've had baby fever before I mean you didn't fucking that's a lot of kids to have

You know Oh my god how old are you by the way now I'm in my 40s. Okay. But you also listen in your 40s, it is also like you're naturally going through perimenopause, right? A lot of times, some people, you know, and that is your ovary's last hurrah to get pregnant. So you do, you know, maybe it's a part of that too. But I would think there's some sort of weird connection with what you're doing that there

would be like a connection shift in you because you're kind of like mind fucking your body to be in a place where you're not. But now you kind of are. I would be curious if there's other people out there. there in my shoes. I mean, because a lot of people, it's not something that you really talk about, right? Yeah. But I'd be curious to know if anybody else listening has had that experience as well as far as the babies and stuff go. I'm curious. Yeah, well, let's talk about that. Well, let's talk about that. Well, let's talk about the community that you did belong to. Okay. You didn't get on with

women that are doing this. But you got on a community where like you're, where it's like the fetish community, right? Of like this breastfeeding thing, correct? Like in yeah, how did that come into play? And did your husband know that you went on there, or did you both go on, or is this a secret thing? So I found it just by Googling. Right. And I kind of mentioned that, you know, there are other people out there that I've talked to, but I haven't specifically said, hey, I'm on this community and there's all these people. And, you know, so he doesn't really know that that extent of it, but he does know that I've

talked to, you know, light-minded people about it. Well, what was the community, first of all? What's the name of the community? It's A-B-F Haven. Okay. And did you want to go on there just to like sort of secretly just read other people's experiences? Or were you looking to connect with other like-minded people? I was, well, I wouldn't have minded connected with like other girls and what they're going through and how they've gotten to where they are.

And, you know, is there something else I should be doing and things like that? So yeah, I did a lot of reading and, you know, education, if you will, about it because they post all kinds of stuff in there. Yeah. You know, you could go from, yeah, for me it was just the education aspect. But yeah, you can go on there and meet people in your towns and stuff like that too, where there's like get-togethers and all kinds of stuff on there. Okay. And so, but so you're on there, you're just like becoming educated and stuff.

You're not looking at a hook up with a guy or anything. But all of a sudden you start talking to people? Like, how did you wind up with this guy, but start at like the beginning? How did I wind up with this guy? Okay. Like how did you start? Did you first start talking to people? people or you went on a forum, did you make a post? I just randomly, so on the website itself is like

a chat box. Right. So you can just chat all day with all kinds of different people. And so I would just jump on there once a while when I saw people's names that I recognize and we would just kind of just have daily chats about literally nothing. You know, nothing necessarily sexual, you know, hey, how's the day going? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Were the men or women? Were those people men or women. Both. Okay. They were both.

Okay. Yes. And so inside the community, we almost like made this smaller community, if you will. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Have people just randomly making a connection? Yeah. Yeah.

And so whenever we were all on there at the same time, we would just have a good time and we would chit-chat. And that's how I kind of started to get to know this gentleman that I talked to. Okay. And so how did you guys start talking? Like, what was the, were the conversations just really like every day? conversations at first? Most, yeah, most of the time, a lot of us are very flirty people, so we would always joke or make sexual jokes or just kind of flirt around.

And he actually was flirting and talking with this other girl in the same group. And they ended up actually meeting up. And you know this because in your group chat, they all discuss this. Is that? Do they just talk? Yeah. Okay. And they posted pictures and whatever.

And so he was meeting up with this other girl and breastfeeding her. Oh, my God. Did that turn you on in some weird way when you saw the pics? It didn't. I mean, him and I weren't super close at that time. Okay. You know, I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting. Like, whatever, I guess, teach their own.

And then once he decided he didn't want to see her anymore, he reached, he, I don't really remember why, but reached out to me. And we just started talking about it. about their hookup. You know, he's, yeah. Okay. Like how he felt bad, how it wasn't, you know, something that he wanted to do or whatever. And I just brought us closer and both together.

I know it was really weird. It's really messed out. Was he, what was he like trauma bonding with you? Like, he was like telling you his issues with the girl, that kind of a thing. And you were like giving him advice? Yeah, pretty much. And what was his, he's like, oh, I really didn't want to do that. It's just full of shit.

I mean, I don't know. I think he really, really didn't want to do it, but he's almost too nice of a guy to tell somebody knows sometimes. Yeah, but what is he, okay, let me ask you his story. What's his deal? Does he have a wife at home who's all milked up breastfeeding him? He has a wife, he has kids, no, his wife does not know anything about it. Okay, so listen, I'm just telling you a guy who's got a wife at home that knows nothing about the fact that he's got a breastfeeding fetish. He meets some bitch online that's willing to breastfeed him in a car. He's running to this. He's running to this. that experience, okay? That's not something he didn't want to do. That was probably something he's been waiting his whole life for. I'm sorry, but like, yeah. This is what he's Jonzing for.

He finally had it in real life, but she dumped him, right? Isn't that what happened? I mean, I don't know the extent of it. You probably have to ask him. Oh, I thought she ended. I thought she ended things. Okay. But I don't know how it all really ended, but I know that he definitely didn't want to see her anymore.

Okay. So something happened there. He didn't want to see her anymore. And so now he's talking to you because you're another woman on there who's got milky breasts. I mean, this is what he's into and he's like secretly on there as well. Now at this point that you're talking to this guy, right, and getting deeper into things with him, do you ever think once like, oh, this is like wrong what I'm doing or is it still like innocent at that point that you're not even like thinking twice about it? So in the beginning, I didn't feel any kind of guilt or anything.

Like there was nothing sexual. Like we were literally just talking about our days. You know, how things are going. I would check in on his kids or his grandkids or whatever the case may be. Like, I never in a million years, expected to have a connection with anybody like that. That was never my intentions. Yeah, listen, that's why I like to get cheating stories, like the whole story. Because a lot of times, you know, because people can be very judgmental about people who cheat.

And sometimes, like, someone who would never think that they would ever cheat, winds up cheating. And it's not like something that they sought out on purpose. You know, sometimes like really crazy shit happens and you wind up in that position. I'm not saying that it's right, you know, but it happens. And that's what's like why the buildup of how it happened to you is interesting because it's not like you're not on there looking for this. You know, things with your husband are kind of finally changing. I'm wondering though why. Like is your husband just not like a chatty guy?

Because like you because I'm wondering why you're like talking to this community more than you're talking to your husband at this point. Yeah. So when we, you know, started this breastfeeding fetish thing of ours and kind of started making those connections, the sexual part got really good. Yes, we were talking about, you know, things around breastfeeding and, you know, that kind of connection. But as far as, like, being emotionally connected or talking about, like, the deep stuff on, like, the daily, we didn't talk about. So I was very, I don't even know how to say it. like I was deprived, I feel like, of like an emotional connection with somebody. No, listen, what you were saying that was going down in that group, like, oh, just the regular

stupid stuff. Like, how was your day? Blah, blah, blah. That sometimes is the stuff that people in relationships are really missing the most, like honestly, right? That really innocent shit that, and that's the stuff that goes out the window because it seems like it's so not important. But I think it really is, especially for women.

Listen, I think different things are important for the sexes sometimes, right? Like a lot of times, like sex for a man is very important in a way that women will never understand. It's not just sex for sex, right? It's like how they release the fucking stress of their day. Like it's a real emotional thing for them too, you know, whereas for a woman, it's like, how was your day? And just talking to her about like regular things could be something that really validates

how you feel about her. You know, and a lot of times those are the things that go out the window. And that's what was going down in that forum for you. that's why you were there instead of with your husband. Yeah. Because you're just not having those everyday conversations. I was with him. But yeah, no, absolutely.

It's, yeah. They kind of forget about stuff like that. For sure. I agree. Yeah. So here's this new guy and you're like having all this daily talk with him, right? When does it start to like switch? When he started giving me the attention that I wanted, I guess.

I mean, I don't get attention at home. Like literally it's, you know, yes, we're doing our breastfeeding thing. and yes, we have a schedule, but apart from that, sometimes it feels like we're so disconnected. Well, listen, that's why I asked you in the beginning, like, you know, and I would have guessed that the answer was going to be what you gave me. I asked you, like, were the problems in your marriage, like strictly in the bedroom or outside? And I knew it was going to be both because you wound up changing your sex life with your husband, right? But, you know, just changing your sex life didn't change the rest of those issues that you had, right? And that's why.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Right. And that's why this online affair is like fulfilling that little hole in your marriage, right? Right, because I'm getting the sex. It's the emotional aspect that, you know, I've still lacking. Because, yeah, because I've never met this man online. I've never met him. You know, so I've never physically had an affair ever. Right. But, you know, so it's, it's just the emotional side of things.

that, you know, I was not getting. And once he started, you know, once the online guy started, you know, kind of feeding that part for me and, you know, telling me I'm beautiful and telling me he likes these things about me, like, you know, after years with your husband, you don't get to hear those things anymore. Like, you want to hear you're pretty. You want to hear that you got nice ditties. Like, you want to hear those things from somebody.

Listen, this is how a fair start for both men and women, you know, and it's not just someone on a forum. It could be the person in the office. You know what I mean? Someone starts giving that person a little bit of. that kind of attention that they haven't got for a long time at home, and this is how it starts. So that guy starts doing that stuff to you. And then does it turn, like, sexual, like, online, like, where you're sending him picks

and stuff like that? Like, do you cross those lines, too, with him? He does get pictures very regularly, yes. Okay. And he even gets videos, so. And are they all of, like, pumping and, like, what are stuff that, like, a guy like that is into? Okay. So he does like, like if I express with my hands or whatever, he does like those videos.

Or he really appreciates the videos of me masturbating. So it went beyond the breastfeeding. Yes. Okay. Go on. So you will masturbate and just create videos just for him? Yes. Okay.

Yes. And he really, you know, like he'll just like, you know, just regular picks. And this isn't something that we send like literally every day. but, you know, every once in a while, he'll get like a fun little, I call it a little present, hey, I sent you a present. Yeah. It's a video as to me. He has asked for videos of my husband and I together. I haven't done that yet.

You will get there. Just for the fact that you put that yet in the sentence means you're ready. You're almost there. My gosh. I mean, if you're into that, it's fine. I don't, I mean, I don't, whatever. I don't care which. this you're into. It's not weird for me.

Yeah, but I'm just going to say this. This is like, I'm playing devil's advocate of what people are thinking at home, you know, because you're like, oh, what doesn't matter if I send it? But like, put yourself in the position of your husband. If your husband was like seeing a woman right behind your back, even if it's online, and he's sending

her videos of you, you and him. Not just him, not just a picture of his, but you, naked. To that other woman, how would you feel? fucking horrified. I'll answer for you.

Honestly, I don't know. I'll stop. I'm not going to lie. You would like it? I might be into it, yeah. Yeah. I'm, you know, I'm into more stuff than my husband is because he's like very vanilla one.

Right. Yeah, but like, listen, you know, but let me just tell you something. Sometimes, you know, I think sometimes. And I'll, I'm going to talk more about this when we end the call because I think if you put like as much fucking work into getting milk into your breast into your emotional issues with your husband,

you could probably solve those too, okay? But you don't put any work there, neither one of you. You're just going and getting your needs met someplace else. So that's never going to get fixed with your husband until you actually go to him and start telling him what your needs are. But, you know,

I think though that, you know, sometimes people think their partners are so vanilla and everything. But like, like, but how do you fucking know? Like, did you ever ask your husband to, like, Like, oh, I've absolutely asked. Oh, you have. Okay.

So what have you asked him for to do and stuff? So I've asked him where he was at, like, on the female, female, male side of things. Okay. And he would say that he would, you know, be kind of into the idea of it, but then he would be like, well, it's not, it's not appropriate. I don't want to share you with anybody, let alone a male or female or whoever. Yeah, some guys are like that. When we got married, it was like you and I. Yeah.

Okay. So I've asked him about that. And then, you know, I've literally asked, you know, he knows that I read a lot of information. Yeah. So I would bring up things that I would learn like the cuck aspect of things. Or, you know, hot life. I mean, I don't really know what the big difference is between them because I don't know. I've done very basic information.

Yeah. But, like, just trying to ask him if any of that stuff is anything that he would be into. And I've yet to find anything other than the breastfeeding that he would. So what does he say about the cock or you guys opening for a relationship or having a three-sum? It's always a no. Like, I'm not into that. Yeah. It's always, you know, when we got married, it was just you and me.

He says that even now, after all this time? He still wants it to just be you and him? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And does he, like, does he have, like, a high sex drive, do you think? Or as his sex drive, like, gone downhill? Do you feel like maybe because of his age?

I feel like he tries to keep up with me. Yeah. Well, you're going through perimenopause, most likely, right? And that's a very horny time for a woman, hornier than ever. That's why a lot of times, like, older. I was fucking a 25-year-old when I was in my 40s because, you know, that's, I was like, I wanted it five times a night, and guys in their late 40s can't do that anymore. Or not, you know what I mean?

A lot of them can. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's usually pretty good for three times a day. Okay, that's a lot. Your husband? Yes. Okay, so he's super horny, but he's just a monogamous vanilla guy that's just horny for you and has no interest in doing anything. Because I was like, listen, how vanilla is he that he got into like breastfeeding? And to me, that's so like out there. But that was the only thing he's been into. So far, that's all I've been able to find that he's been into. Okay, that's a little bit of a problem. Okay, so now you're like sending all this naughty stuff with your guy. And now, does he live close to you with this guy? No. Okay. So there's no chance you're ever going to like meet up. He's like four or five states away.

Right. And now when did you start to realize that you were maybe copping feelings for him? It was a few months ago. Yeah. And how did, like, what was that like? Did you start, did you feel guilty at all? Were you just like just thinking about him all? Oh, I still feel guilty about it. You do. Absolutely. Yeah. I do. One hundred percent. Right. But at the same time, I'm like, if I could just, and I have talked to my husband until I was blue. in the face, trying to get him to understand the needs that I need. Okay. That's important to say and to add because I didn't know if you did and a lot of times people don't. I just cannot get him.

Yeah, I just cannot get him to comply with, you know, what I need from him emotionally. I mean, we've gotten there physically for the most part, but, you know, I'm an emotional creature too. Like, I need those connections and those conversations and, you know, I'd like to be told that I'm beautiful and then, you know, I got a nice ass or nice tips or whatever. Like, I need to hear those things. And when you tell him that, does he say okay and just not do it or does he say, I don't have time? Like, how come he doesn't, like, how come he can't, like, receive that and change?

It's not that hard. He's, yeah, and he says, he's like, well, I do that. Oh, okay. So that's what, that's what, how, in the, like, from his perspective, what he would say is that he does do that for you. Like, he feels like he's compliments. Yeah, he thinks he does enough, even though I need more than that. Right. So obviously he's not doing enough for you.

That's obviously one of your love languages. And unfortunately sometimes if it's not somebody else's, they can't really fucking understand it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And does he have any issues with you? Like, is, do you think that he's like, if I was talking to him secretly, like, do you feel like, you know, he could be having an online affair or he's like disappointed in your marriage or there's something that's lacking for him as well? Like that makes him maybe not so interested in throwing you all those compliments and feeling that emotional for you too. Like, what would he say, do you think?

I don't think he would be having any kind of affair because, like I said, he's not interested in sharing me whatsoever. Yeah. I do think there are things that probably I'm not doing that he needs from me. Yeah. But he has yet to communicate and or I'm kind of in the same way. And I'm like, well, I do that. I do that, but maybe not enough or to his expectations. Absolutely.

I don't doubt that he has the same problem. And what are the things that you think he needs from you that you don't give him enough of? probably my attention, you know, because I still got the kids at home or work or I volunteer for all kinds of stuff. Oh, really? You know, so he would probably want even more attention than what I give him. Well, listen, if you are spread, I'm sorry, if you were spread between four kids, what are the ages? I have a 21, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Yes, yes. I have a 21-year-old, a 19-year-old, an 18-year-old, and a 16-year-old, and a 16-year-old, and a 16-year-old, and a 16. 16 year old. Okay. So you got four kids and you also spread yourself in like doing like charity work or just like volunteering places. Is that is it because you don't have a job or is that on top of your job? No, I do have a job, but my job requires a lot of extra help, whether it's meetings or if they need help with setting up events or, you know, I mean, anything that I can do to help to make sure that the community is still able to do the things that they do. they need people to do those. Yeah. So your husband has a lot of alone time. Or he's also helping. Oh, okay. So he helps with you. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So listen, like I said, I do believe if you put like, like you're obviously a hard worker, you're dedicated, you know how to make a fucking commitment and stick to it because I think like what you went through to get this milk and do all this stuff like really shows who you are, right? And I feel like, if you put that much work into really focusing on figuring out how to make things better between your husband, you could. But the problem is, like, when somebody gets, like, that need that's missing someplace else, like, you're even less likely to do what it takes because you're, like, you're not,

you're no longer, like, have that little hole that was there that needed to be filled. So you're less likely to complain to your husband on what you fucking need. Like, does your husband notice any kind of change in you? Like, are you walking a little? like lighter on your feet or you're a little bit happier because you're getting all this shit from this guy on the side. No, he still thinks I'm a very grumpy person. Oh, he reminds me all the time.

Are you grumpy? Yeah. I mean, sometimes, yeah, probably. I mean, just because, you know, he doesn't necessarily meet me the happiest person ever. Right. But is this guy helping that at all or no? Oh, absolutely. Right.

Does it make you, let me ask you this. Like, how does one affect the other? Like, does getting this stuff from your, the guy, make you more resentful that your guy isn't doing it or less? Honestly, more. More resentful. Because I would be very, yeah, I would be very happy if I'd gotten the things that I need at home because I do love my husband at the end of the day. I don't want to hurt anybody. And I have needs, it needs fulfilled.

And I get so frustrated that he's not doing it. He's not listening. Yeah. But does he tell you? I know that you said you assume that he doesn't think that you give him enough attention either. Like, has he said that to you? Yes. Yeah, he has.

He has. Not recently, but he has. Right. And what was his gripes typically, like, to you? Like, you don't, you're not around enough? What specifically does he say? No, that I pay more attention to the kids than him. It's probably true.

Unfortunately, I don't know how, I mean, do women, like, I don't have a husband. I just have a kid. And I know how I feel about my kid. I'm like, I don't think you could ever love your husband as much as you love your kids, do you? Right. No. It's a different kind of a thing, right? And if you had times it by four, I can't even imagine, you know.

Yeah, no, I will do anything for my kids and, you know, at any time he goes against what, like, I feel like my kids need or say, like, then it causes an argument between us because I will battle for my kids. I will come after you. Yeah, I think one of, you know, I really realized this once I had my baby, I think, like, one of the most important things that people, before they get married and hitched to discuss is like what their feelings are or surrounding their kids, like how they want to fucking raise them. Because you don't realize until you had kids how strongly you will feel about what you want to do with them. It's like how you feel about politics and religion. It's like you would go to bat for what you believe in when it comes to your fucking kids. And I think that creates big problems in relationships. And a lot of times that's not the stuff

that people discuss before they have kids, you know? Right. Right? It's like you said, you would do anything for your fucking kid. And if he's not down, like, you'll, that could be a big fucking argument. I get it. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, okay, so have you guys ever been in therapy? Did I ask that question yet? You did not, but no, we have not. Okay. Would you ever consider it? Because listen, you feel guilty. Okay. That's always like a sign that, like, some part of you is aware that what you're doing isn't right and that maybe that part of you doesn't want to do it anymore. you know, and that's like the, that part of you, it maybe would really benefit from going to therapy and, you know, working on stuff with your husband so you don't have to do this. Because like, what would happen do you think if your husband found out? Because you got like, I don't know how smart you are with all your shit, but you're like taking videos, you're like chatting, you know, you might be one click away from being caught. Oh, absolutely. I think about that every day. Yeah. Yeah, you shouldn't think about it every day. You're the type person that gets. caught. It's like, I always say this. I'm sorry to say this, but it's fucking true. It's very true. You know, the person who cheats that feels zero guilt about it, like rarely gets caught. They don't fucking care. They're never thinking about it. They do it all their life. They die a cheater. No one never

finds out end of story. But the ones who feel guilty about it are the ones that get busted. And I do believe it's kind of like that person at work that's walking around talking about like how much they hate their job all the time and then they wind up getting fired. It's like, be careful what you think. You know what I mean? Because sometimes it's like, it's kind of like a sabotage. You know, if some part of you feels guilty, that part of you will subconsciously like make you get caught so you

could stop feeling guilty. Do you understand? Like that's where that guilt can be dangerous. That's where that thinking every day, oh my God, I'm going to get fucking caught, is going to get you get caught because some part of you is like thinking it. You're putting it out all the fucking time. It's the reason why

a scumbag could never be caught and someone like you will be. Do you know what I mean? And you don't want to get caught. Yeah. What do you think? would happen if your husband found out? I don't know. I've thought about that. And I mean, part of me wants to be like, well, either he'll just get on board and appreciate

that I'm still here or, I mean, I can finally go find somebody that will do the things that I need done. Yeah, well, listen, unfortunately, you're not caught yet, but sometimes, and I've, because I have a lot of cheater stories on my show. And, you know, sometimes it is the catalyst of, you know, someone getting caught becomes like a catalyst for things completely changing and becoming much better in the relationship or the opposite, right? Like it could go either way, right? Like you said. Yeah. Like in your case, you know, there is something for the, like, the fact that you never like fuck this guy yet or anything like might

help your cause of him staying. I mean, you do have four kids. You've been with each other since forever, right? I don't personally think, I don't look down on people who stay in relationships like as long as yours with kids after a partner cheats. I don't know why. I don't know why. people think, oh, you have to throw everything out because of it. I think it's great if people could work through it. I understand why some people can and why some people walk away. I don't know that I could ever get past somebody cheating on me because I have like trust issues, but like I don't look down on people that do. And I think, you know, when you have four kids and you have everything that you have, like, why throw it all out because of this one thing? Why not work on the reason why this one

thing happen and then fix it? Because at the end of the day, it's not really like this guy that you like. You love your husband, right? It's just like what he's giving you. It's right, you know what I mean? It's really not about him. You never even fucking met him, you know? So to lose your husband for him would be such a fucking waste because he's like a, he's like a nothing, but he just is giving you something that you wish you could get for your husband. Yeah. What do you plan to do? What was that? What do you plan to do? I have no idea. I mean, I really like this guy that I'm talking to. I get it. I get it.

It's exciting. What? Yeah. I can't imagine not talking to him every day. Yeah, I get it. I mean, like, and when he's busy working or whatever, like, I miss him when I can't talk to him. It's weird. No, listen, that's why you call it an affair.

That's how you feel when you really like somebody. And like, that kind of feeling for a married person is something that they haven't felt for a really long time, right? So that's always going to be super exciting for anybody, you know? So you get it. And I get that you like all that and it feels like so much. And it's so, listen, unfortunately, cheating stuff is so supercharged because of all those reasons. You know, it's not like your everyday regular relationship. It's kind of not real, but it is because it's new.

And a lot of, like Esther Peril, have you ever read her stuff all about cheating? Like she talks a lot about how like about why people cheat and stuff. And she goes really deep on it. Because you like to Google, you should Google it. I think you'll really be into it. and I'll turn something. But I do think, I worry for you about getting caught. I do think, you know, maybe while you're doing all this with that guy, because I always, it's like the same, like, I'm going to bring the analogy about the person at work, you know, I was a person at work who would walk around. I wish I, I fucking hate my job and then got fired. But like, it never happened to me again when I was older because I always realized, like, when I'm fucking unhappy, like, I'm going to walk out with my head high. I'm going to, like, do the right things that have to be done. So that doesn't happen, you know? And so, like, at the same time while you're, doing this, I think it would be really beneficial if, like, you got into some counseling, maybe, or asked your husband to get in some counseling and you, at the same time, tended to your husband

and try to work over there so that maybe this whole thing could be resolved with your head up high instead of you getting busted? Because do you really think, like, I don't know, like, maybe you could go the rest of your life talking to this guy, having your husband for three years? I don't know. Like, what do you think's going to happen three years from now? I just think that there's something that's going to happen. Let me ask you a quick question. Is this guy happy in his marriage? Like, what's going on in his marriage?

No. No. Right. He's in a very sexless marriage. He's in a sexless marriage. But his wife never caught him. Like, this is the total secret between you and him. Right.

Right. Is he cute? I think he's cute. Is he around your age? Yeah, he's a little older than I am. How far away does he live from you? Oh. Like a plane ride?

okay yeah so like in reality like do you think you'd ever wind up with him or like no I don't know in your fantasy is it like oh in my fantasy I do in your fantasy you're like maybe I could leave my husband and be with this guy one day yes yeah that's very honest with you but that's a little that's a little crazy you know because it is it is it's very twisted and fucked up but does he talk to you like that this guy though we are very open and honest with each other. And I mean, the communication is great.

And we're very aware that we both have kids and spouses and lives. Yeah. So we've never tried to, you know, step on each other's toes. Anyway.

Yeah. No. Right. There's respect that goes both ways. And, you know, if he's got family events, I'm not going to message him. I mean, he needs to be with the family.

Right. But at the end of the day, one of you, the chances of one of you eventually getting busted, oh my God. And it's more likely, good. I don't think, does he feel guilty? Do you know, like how he feels? I've never asked him. Yeah, interesting. But you do, and that's where I worry for you. So do me a

favor, Beverly. Try to do like some, like as much as you're seeing this guy and putting your energy over there and you have all this other shit you're putting energy on. Try to carve out some time for your husband, too, whether, and, you know, and start working on that as well so that your situation doesn't change by getting caught and that being the catalyst because I don't know. I sometimes think like somehow these kinds of things eventually like blow up one way or another. You got like two people massively cheating, all online stuff, you know, and a lot of times it's like the weirdest way, but you want a lot of times like people get busted doing stuff like this, especially with the online stuff.

You know, because you have like all of it on your phone, your computer. It's like very easy to you to fuck up. I did a whole audiogram today about how like sloppy cheaters are the worst. Like how fucking rude. Like if you're going to cheat on me at least like do it really well so that I'll never find out. You know what I mean? It's almost rude or people are sloppy. So I hope you're not sloppy, okay?

I hope you're hiding. That's not really good. Okay. Try to be. I mean, I don't think I am sloppy. Okay, good. Okay. Be as respectful to your husband and a high.

that shit as much as possible so you don't get caught. But try to, you know, work on your marriage, the emotional aspect too, okay? Because that needs some tent. No, but obviously whatever you've been doing hasn't been working. Okay. So do something else. Like go to fucking counsel. Whether it's you alone, him with you and, you know, maybe you need some help figuring out how to change it. Both of you have not figured out how to fix your emotional problems. Okay. But probably a therapist could help you and maybe it's the two of you going together. Maybe it's just you alone. Someone can maybe give you the tools and tell you what to do. But whatever you've been doing to fix it is not correct. It's not working for either of you. No, not at all. Yeah. So go get some help. Google about that as much.

Just I'm like, you know, just try to tend to it a little bit too and chip away at that before you get busted. But if you do get busted or wind up with this guy, who knows, you know, a year from now, I feel like Beverly's calling back in with an update, whether it's you left your husband. You just, I don't know. you know what I mean? Keep me posted, Beverly. And send me picks. Okay, can you send me picks for my Patreon anonymous picks? Sure. Okay. I love your story. Okay. I can't even believe we talked all about this breastfeeding thing. I mean, I don't know which one's more interesting. Both of them are equally as interesting. I think I gave me 30 minutes to each one, but I was like, I forgot we were talking about breastfeeding and milk and your titties right now as we're speaking because I got so into your online

affair. It's like so interesting to me. But anyway, Beverly, send me in picks. I'll give you free access to my Patreon so you could talk to people and comment back to them. My cheating stories always get a lot of comments. You know, they're always like kind of loaded and people because listen, so many people could relate to you. Some people are going to be relate to your husband, you know, so cheating episodes are always, a lot of people comment on them.

And I'll also give you free access to my Discord so you could get in there too. Okay, so I'll send you links. Send me anonymous picks. I will do that. Sooner than later, this episode will be up very soon. And thank you so much for calling it and being honest. So honest. Thank you for having me.

I appreciate it. Thanks, Beverly. Bye. Bye-bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about. my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a

gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true. True stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a

complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way. you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is, email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.