Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1560 - Gangbang Christine's Open Marriage is Totally Over?!

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Gangbang Christine’s open marriage is totally over and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and why things fell apart between her and her husband, the major mental health crisis he went through and how it changed their relationship, the problems they had been dealing with for years before the gangbang ever happened, their struggles with infertility and how it affected their sex life, how their mismatched sex drives created even more problems, how and why she felt abandoned in their marriage, how and why she kept going back to the well-hung guy she met at the gangbang, what happened when her husband finally started pushing back against her relationship with him, what she had been hiding from him and how her husband reacted when he learned the full truth, what their therapists had to say about their marriage, whether she thinks opening the relationship actually caused their breakup, where things currently stand with the guy she met at the gangbang plus a whole lot more.  GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  or Pre-order audiobook version ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To see HOT pics CHRISTINE plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get $15 OFF Shameless Desire or any other product at Shameless Care ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beduc.at/pd2630-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized SUMMER roadmap to sexual happiness  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LoadBoost.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- To get 10% off LOAD BOOST by VB Health, use code: STRICTLY   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Buy 2 months of Bluechew GOLD and get the third month FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. Is your real problem?

Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehobiles. your whips and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because they change

everyone's voices and names. Okay. So if you have an interesting secret naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous if you're out and proud, you can email me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. Now listen, if you have a naughty confession, you want to leave on my confessions line. You could do that 247. The number is 347. 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. Call from a quiet place. I can't use ones when people call where they're driving. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go on to my Patreon. Now my Patreon is super fun and it's very inexpensive if you ask me. It's only $7 a month and you get every single

episode. I do seven episodes a week. You get every single one of them early before anyone gets them as well as intro and ad free. You also get all the confessions and you also get Q&As that I do like every other month where I answer a lot of questions as well as you get anonymous picks of probably every single girl that has called into my show. Every single female guest. I got pictures of them over on my Patreon. Like I said, it's $7 a month. The link to Patreon is in the description. If you do sign up for my Patreon or buy my book, I wrote a book.

It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. It's all stories from my show told in the third person. They're super fun. And the audiobook is coming out in August. So if you buy my book either in paperback or ebook or audiobook version, the link for all in the description. I will also give you access to my private Discord. Like I said, if you join my Patreon, or if you call into my show, or if you buy my book, I will give complimentary access to my private Discord. My private Discord is not a paid site. It is free,

but it is private. And you could only get in if I send you the link. I promise you, you will not be disappointed. My Discord is full of great effing people. Okay. So if you buy my book, send me a screenshot of your purchase and I will send you the link to my Discord. The last thing I'm going to tell you about is if you want to sign up for SDC.com. I do have a free trial for my listeners. SDC is like the world's largest online dating website and it's not just a place where you could hook up with people. You could learn all about the lifestyle.

You could find out about all the lifestyle events and meetups and all kinds of things going on in your neighborhood as well as if you're going to travel and you want to have a little fun, you're going to find it all on SDC.com. Like I said, you get a free trial if you use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link that's 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. So today on the call I have on Christine. I have re-aired Christine the gangbang Christine, the girl who like fucked five gang guys in a gang bang and her husband said it was okay. I did one episode with her and then and that's like, So people just love that episode.

And then what happened was I air the second episode where things are a little bit different after the gang bang. And things start to change with her and her husband, right? And people write in all the time like, wow, that story. Like I couldn't believe what happened after the gang bang. And people have all kinds of advice for like what Christine should do after they listen to the second one. What most people don't know is I had a third part to that gang bang. story that I taped and it went even in a crazier place. Is that the right word? I was like,

it was like one of my favorite episodes because not episodes or just whole story. It was three parts, but it was one of my favorite guests to talk to because things, the more I talk to her, the more that got revealed. And it just goes to show that you sometimes have to ask a lot of questions and talk to people for a long time to get the real truth or the right because things are sort of different. You find out different things about her and her relationship with her guy on this third episode. So I'm re-airing it because I get emails about her episodes constantly and people always asking for her to be back on. I can't find her again. But this is the third part to her story. And you learn a lot more. I'm not going to tell you what you learn. You're going to have to listen to it.

I know you will. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Christine. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly Anonymous podcast. Hey, Christine. Welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast. How are you? Thank you. I'm good.

How are you? I'm good. So they say things come in threes, right? This is your third time of my podcast. I had, yeah, I had reached out to you like I did most of my callers from 2016 looking for an update. I had already gotten an update from you a little while's back because people were very into your episode.

You were Christine. You had two episodes. I should really have the episode numbers here, but there was one where you had a gang bang, right? That was the first time you called in. You were a married woman who got the okay, right, from your husband to have a gang bang with a bunch of black guys and your way and your guy's way, right?

Yep. That was the deal. How many guys again did you do at that podcast? I was going to say big difference. At that event. Yeah. I do podcast. You do orgies, gang bangs.

A little bit more interesting. How many guys that you do again at that gang gang? Four guys. Okay, cool. And what happened in where we left off that first episode is that you met a guy there that you had like sort of an instant connection with. Oh, okay. So your episode that you got gang banged by a bunch of black guys is 128.

So anyone wants to listen to it. It's a great episode, right? And where we left off that episode, I mean, you're going to get a lot more details if you listen to the episode. But where you left off that episode is that you had met a guy. and that you really connected at that gang wing. And you started, you had exchanged numbers, right? And then we did an update show.

And by the time you called back in, right, you were dating that guy and you still had a husband. And I know that I did an update show with you because a lot of guys wrote in about that episode and they wanted to hear more, right? And it turned out that that episode was very different. And I was like, oh, no, I hope my listeners aren't disappointed, right? because there wasn't a lot of SCX talk in that episode. It was all a lot about your relationship with your husband and that kind of stuff.

And honestly, the person who, like one of the guys who was like obsessed with your first podcast, after that podcast aired, he was like, oh my God, that was so interesting and it made so much sense, right? So you did do another episode. It was number 138. And we talked a little bit more about your husband because I was a little bit like, how could this guy totally be okay? right? Because what you told us on that episode was that you were now dating that other guy. You were in a full-fledged

relationship with it. And he was just like, okay, but not really, right? Like people would have to listen to that episode because it turned out to be really interesting and it really put the pieces together because I didn't think it kind of made that much sense because he wasn't really getting anything out of it for him to just let you go. But what it was was that he had some issues sexually speaking, right? You guys had major issues in your relationship. And I felt like, and I think you agreed, that it was kind of like he had no choice. He was most likely what I thought, probably not really like a willing participant in this scenario, but I don't think that he, and I think, like I said, you agreed that he had any options, right? Like he was kind of stuck with you and this is what you were doing because you had had

like this rebirth. You were going through a very major change in your life. You had lost a lot of weight. that's what made you want to do the gang bang. You were stuck in a bad marriage, but you were like at a place in your life where you just got your shit together and you wanted to live again, right? So that's what the gang bang came up and then that's when like you were focusing

on all these problems and the new boyfriend with your relationship, right? And then shit hit the fan in your relationship, right? Yeah. And that's where we're at now. That's a longer after that. So he hit the fan with my husband and a little bit with the other guy that I was in the right

was the guy that I was dating. And I wouldn't say once that's what hit the fan with him. It's just, you know, we were, you know, fairly, we were thinking that were quite a bit. But at the same time, you know, in I angered for us that he was so single, he was going to see other people because I was married. I am married, you know, I'm not going to, I wasn't going to ask him to just, excuse me,

at least see me when I'm going home to my husband every night. So shortly after my last episode, you know, we realized with my husband that he was having a pretty major breakdown. We actually ended up in the ER both behavioral health and regular ER and in a lot of his offices trying to get him help. And he ended up being diagnosed with bipolar. Oh, poor guy. Well, what happened?

Did he freak out, though? Like, I mean, did they, listen, because I don't know. When they diagnose people, sometimes you just don't know. Like, I mean, maybe he was just having, like, the stress of everything that was going on. Like, was he always, but wasn't he always bipolar or no? Yeah, yeah. So, and wouldn't you know my dad is bipolar? Yeah, I think we discussed that before.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So we, you know, it was pretty, when I looked back at the signs and some of the, some of the stuff that went on in our marriage long before any of the other men in relationships and any of that happened. You know, I really see a lot of signs

of, you know, major depression and bipolar in him. And because of that, you know, the FSRIs that he was on, not only were they affecting him sexually, but they were absolutely wrong for his type of depression.

it. Yeah, that's pretty bad because there's a special concoction if you're bipolar compared to something else, right? So they weren't leveling him out at all. No, they were really hurting him. Oh, God, that's terrible. Yeah, I think a lot of it really led to the numbness. Because, you know, I was, part of, part of the reason why it was so easy for me to be in a relationship with someone else when I was say Mary was because she didn't fight for me at all. You know, and that was kind of a

disappointment. Well, I guess that he wouldn't say, no, no, you're not going somewhere else for my life, you know?

Yeah, but let me ask you this. Were you, like, consciously, like, looking for that, or do you look back

and realize that now? Because it wasn't like a game you were playing, because that kind of sounds like a gate, like, you know, you're like, oh,

I want to go straight just because you want him to step up to the bat. But that really wasn't the way that it worked. It's more like looking back. that you realize that maybe on some level you were looking for that, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. You know, I was looking for something to truly like he really wanted me, you know? I mean, the sex wasn't there. I didn't feel attractive or desirable to him. And I saw that so he was really abandoning our marriage and there was just nothing that he was indicating that he really truly wanted to be married. You know, I think it, to me, I felt.

like it was more of a convenience and I'm more of a caretaker for him. Like when I really ended up being this summer. You know, he doesn't have much of the support system. He chooses not to have much of the support system. And, you know, it has been my responsibility to make sure that he's okay for years and years. So once, so after the bipolar diagnosis, you know, we've been seeing a lot of therapists individually together. once that happened it was kind of like a

I guess the switch flipped for me and it hasn't flipped back and I had to tell him this that you know I can't go from being you know

your caretaker and almost a mother and a nurse and someone that's responsible for your well-being back to being a wife you know like there's just not immediately

you know and and he once he started lifting from his fog he kind of realized what was going on and after the SSRI hydrativist system he you know felt like maybe he wanted to be sexual again and I just was not feeling

okay let me just play devil's advocate because I know there's a lot of guys listening right now and this is what guys are thinking like this guy right let her go fuck other guys let her had a relationship he was diagnosed us with something that he was like being fed the wrong stuff the whole time, right?

It wasn't really his fault, right? So he was half checked out. He let you go do other things so that you could get your needs met because he wasn't sort of meeting them. And now he's finally figured his shit out. He's coming out of his own. And you're like, no, I'm not interested. See you later.

Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. And, you know, the thing is, is that was really like, you know, we can look back at six months and I was fucking other guys and had another man in my life, but we're looking at years and years of honestly, the two of us

really being in our own little silos even though we're married, you know? Looking at our marriage, it was a lot of pit for chat, a lot of, well, I did this, so you need to do that. There was never really any we or us. It was always wasn't it for me,

kind of. And... What, for both of you? Both of you were like what's in it for me? Okay, cool. Yeah. You know, thanks to some good circus, I really also, and also thanks to the other man who, you know, was there and traveled with me and, you know, I traveled for work and, you know, really opened my eyes that, you know, I've been married for seven years to someone who really haven't, we haven't been partners for most of those. seven years, you know?

Were you dating before? How long were you dating before? About two years. So we've been now together. It's been almost 10 years. Okay. And like how many years into it? Like you feel like the whole time there was like no real relationship going on for seven years?

I would say the first year was pretty good. Then we started trying to have children and we found out about all her infertility issues. my husband having the issue he does and that's when I've just started going downhill honestly. Right. And let's just explain what that was because that takes, we talked about that on a different podcast, but if people haven't listened, the deal is like the infertility is that he has a very, very, very, very low sperm count or something going on with his sperm that he can get someone pregnant. He just needs to do IVF, right? And you didn't want to, yeah, and you didn't want to do that, right? And why do you think after all of that, like I don't know how many years you're trying?

or anything like that, but why do you think that after that things went downhill? So it comes down to his, I should say it comes down to, like, he was, he felt a lot of pressure to perform when I was ovulating when we were trying. I've always had a higher sex drives than him, even when we first started dating. I've had a higher sex drive and we just don't really, I mean, you know, It's okay. Maybe we don't have sex every day. Maybe it, you know, three times a week. But as we got into our marriage, you know, it became where I had to pressure him for sex. And it had been that way since the first year of our marriage. And it was that way because we tried to get

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That's why every step and dollar raised math. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. And he always, he would complain to me about the pressure and that he didn't like the pressure. Yeah, he probably, this is the deal. He probably had pressure before because you were so much more horny than he was.

And then let me tell you, you know, I wound up having a baby on my own, but I started out doing it with a guy, right? And so I went through all that kind of, I tried for many years to have a baby before I had my baby and did IVFs and IUIs and all that stuff. And I'm sure many people listening have gone through that stuff as well because it's very common. But people don't talk about it. But, you know, anyone that has done that or even. tried without any of that stuff. There's nothing that takes, that makes sex, like I was devastated at what it did to my sex life with my guy when we were trying. Like, it's really, really bad when you have to have sex because this is the time and you just got the sperm injected and you got to

fuck at this time. It just takes the fun out of it and it does. I could see how that could be a major strain on a couple's, it's definitely a major strain on a couple's sex life. And if you're having if you had problems before that, I mean, it just only, you know, of course it went downhill because it's like it does really kill the vibe. It does. And then shortly they're actually, you know, keep trying having anxiety and depression and all the one off with our eyes. And it just been like, they just haven't been a break for us in a good way. You know, like nothing has. You know, like, nothing Yeah, well, he got on the wrong. He started to feel terrible about himself and then went to the doctor and they misdiagnosed

him and gave him the wrong medication. So he, you know, went down the wrong path, not even by choice, right? So there was no helping him, poor guy. And then you probably went down another path of not being happy. But what you did eventually is like you were like you got on a mission to like change your life and, you know, started working out and lost like a ton of weight and, like, felt like amazing about yourself after years of feeling really not happy. I mean, that's honestly what's probably going to happen to your guy now because he's coming out and he's on the right

medication. But what happened, unfortunately, in your relationship, and I think we talked about this a little bit on the first podcast. And this is why relationships sometimes break up. And I don't necessarily think breakups or endings or like as bad as people make them out to be. I think this whole you marry someone, have to stay with them for the rest of your life, is the most ridiculous thing that is put on people. I really believe that like divorce has such a negative sort of thing attached to it when sometimes, and a lot of times, you know, life, you're not meant to sort of walk on the same path with someone forever, you know? And especially the younger you get married, the more likely there's a chance that you might go down separate ways at some point,

right and what happened in your situation and it was like a timing thing is that you sort of came into your own and at a new major place in your life at a time when he wasn't yet there you know and that a lot of times stuff like that a lot of times drives couples apart you know and is it necessarily a bad thing no like if someone doesn't hop on board and do the same kind of changes at the same time then you become like different people at different places at your life and you're just not compatible And I think that happens a lot. And I don't think it's a bad thing. I think eventually when you look back 10 years later,

like everyone's happy and in different places and it works out. But everyone thinks it's such a terrible thing. And some people force staying together in times like that. And maybe it's not right, you know. Like it is good that he's sort of at that place now. But you're like way beyond it. And it seems like you were not like you had like the train had left the station. Like, you were never going to go back to that relationship, unfortunately. You did help him.

You stayed along enough, right, to help him sort of get on his feet. Because you left him totally now, right? So, we are separated and a pretty good. So, yeah. Sorry, it's a little more small, but, yeah, it's pretty much done. Oh, are you crying? So, it's just, I look on, you know, regardless and I'm like, you know, that's like the thing, it's so sucks. So I'm composing myself, like I get to say. But, uh, but yeah, we're

we're living out of her house to begin. And while it, it's sad on one, and one and one hand, on the other hand, like, honestly, no way for him. I don't see a way for him to grow. was still having me with life because I grew up with

you know my dad was bipolar and I just like that diagnosed this to me it's really I feel really petty but knowing that I don't know if I'm ever ever ever going to be able to trust but he's okay

because or that you know he's not going to make a decision tomorrow with that it's going to be in some kind of nadia that's going to just crush me. Well, let me ask you this. You were with him for 10 years, and you didn't even realize he was bipolar,

and even when he was on the wrong medication, right? Or did he have a lot of those manic sort of episodes? Well, there's a couple different bipolar. My dad is bipolar, one, where there's, like, really distinctive high-flying me and there's a really distinctive low-road. My God, there's an early-moval a lot. Now, bipolar T's characterized by much lower overall.

So his mania manifests more as him being really irritable. Okay. And he has some major spending issues. For example, like that sounds like, it sounds like normal behavior. I mean, I know women like that and men like that. Like, you know, I mean, I know that they claim it's bipolar and I'm sure it is.

But like, you know, a lot of people are irritable and have spending. problems, right? Yeah. Well, but it's kind of like beyond just spending problems. It's going to get an oil change and buying a new car. You know. He sounds kind of fun. No.

Like, but for us and for me, like, that's not in our budget. You know, like, you just don't go buy a new car without talking to your wife. Right, right, right. Of course. I mean, those are, but those could be, listen, I think that's

a lot of times couples that sort of get together wind up to have a lot of opposite sort of things. And that's why they kind of work, but they, those things, because somebody like him needs somebody like you, right? You're both at opposite ends of the spectrum. So maybe you both meet in the middle. Maybe you get a little bit looser with your cash and he like learns how to be a little bit tighter with it, you know? So I think that that's like, those are common sort of problems that people have in the relationship. But my point is the only reason why I'm bringing that up is because, like, You were like you say like now that you know you can never be with him. But the truth is you were with your father for 10 years. I mean, this got like without you even knowing it. And I say this on my podcast all the time. Like we smell our parents from a mile away. Like, you know, like we know that shit. Like you have been with someone who's bipolar this whole time. Do you know what I mean? That's the truth. It's not moving forward. You know, you that's what you had, you know? And that's who you were. with.

And because he wasn't medicated at all. He was actually medicated improperly, right? So now that he's going to be on the right medication, he could be different. But I don't know, like, I don't know, like you, I know that you say you have it in your mind. Are you using that as an excuse because you just feel so bad to sort of just really, like, come to terms with the fact that you're just not in love with him anymore, even though you probably love him and always will?

I mean, you just broke down and cried because, like you said, on some level, it's like devastating, right? This is somebody that you were with for 10 years. And even though it's not going to work out, it's still an ending and there's massive sadness there. So is it just that you don't want to sort of believe or like admit to yourself that you just completely fell out of love with him? Or, because I don't know what it is, or are you using that as an excuse and just saying that because maybe you just want to keep continuing with this other guy and you don't really, you're not really ready to go back to your marriage and you're kind of confused

or you're like using that as an excuse of why you wouldn't go back. Do you know what I mean? Which do you think it is? I don't, I am 99% so I will not go back to my marriage. I think part of it is me trying to justify to myself why it's good for him for us to not be married. Like, I'm trying to look at,

try to look at reasons why it's good for him. Uh-huh. Because I feel really guilty. Right. I feel really, really guilty. Well, how is he taking the divorce? How is he taking the mass of separation? I mean, you guys, you're moving now?

Yeah. So it took a lot for him to get there. You know, we, we stumped the summer, and I spent the summer, you know, I have been going to therapy in my show, like, we went for couples therapy, and I went in for my individual social with her. She's like, she's like, I've been wanting to throw you a lifeline this whole time. She says, you're drowning in this relationship. And so, you know, I've been really trying to work to get him there.

And finally, things came to the head. I don't know what, why. he said something made him suspicious and he went into my computer and found my archives of text messages with this guy and there were something that that were very unsightering to my husband Oh, about him?

Yeah. Oh, that's very unfortunate that he had to see that. And so he, but in the same respect she went into my personal computer, you know. It's kind of weird because like he was, you guys had a very open you were open but this was the thing this was what was kind of weird about your open relationship with him is that he would ask you some questions about certain things and you

had a line that you wouldn't let him cross you were kind of like I'm going to go and do whatever I want and I'm going to fuck this other guy and I'm going to go on vacation with him and anything but like there are certain things I will not like answer this is why like that whole thing came up in that podcast the second one I kind of like like what guy would put up with that shit? Because that's kind of like very difficult for somebody to handle right. And that's where his probably craziness and going into your computer, like that's probably where it came from because like he knew you were having an affair.

He knew so much about it. But there was a little bit he wasn't allowed to know. So I mean, I would probably go looking to. I mean, you got to cut the guy a little slack. I mean, he didn't just go looking for no reason. He was in a very weird place, and he was in a, considering where he was emotionally too, like, I mean, he had nothing else going on. He knew his wife was literally having a relationship with another guy, and he wasn't allowed

to get certain information. So you could kind of understand why he went rifling through your shit, right? Kind of. I can. I can. You know, and he was kind of waking up from his. a lot and he there was an evening before this happened maybe a month or two before it's happened where he basically told me if you walk out that door and go see him and you shouldn't

come back okay well you know you were looking for that that's what you said you wanted well well yeah and and i and i told him and you know what i'm going to go see him and you know we started to really have a lot of tension over it and and he brought up the sucks and you know you'll you'll go and you'll fuck this guy you know three times but I haven't gotten any for months and you know that's why I basically had to tell him that I just wasn't feeling it you know and that's difficult so you could understand but you could like all I'm trying to say is like I could the more you tell me the more I feel like kind of yay for him he was also waking up as well.

He needed in a weird way, I think it must have been very devastating for him to see the stuff that you were saying behind his back, but probably really good for him to know the truth. To really know where you were at, to have it sort of smudged in his face that he would wake the fuck up and be like, no offense, but like, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not into this anymore because he had no control over that. Like he was being totally treated kind of like shit in a relationship. You know, he was trapped too.

You know what I'm saying? So in a weird way, it was the best thing for him. If he was my friend, I would feel bad for him, but happy for him that he finally was able to get some sort of thing that would make him be able to stand up and say, you know what, I can't do this anymore. Like this is, I, you know?

And give you that ultimatum, you know? And I would, you know, for me, like it was, it sucked. Yeah.

That day, the next day, you know, I was really, it was really, really, really shitty. Uh-huh.

I felt really shitty. Uh-huh. But that, I don't think it would have taken, I don't know if anything less than that would have been a catalyst for us to be where we are now. Exactly.

Which I think it's going to be better for both of us. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Like you said, he needed a bottom. You had your bottom. Like, you know,

this is, that's what had to happen. And yeah, you look like the worst one, right? For sure. Because you, right?

Because, but 10 years from now, when he's happy with somebody else and you're happy with somebody else and your lives are in good places. Like, Are you going to, is it going to be like you do it? You both took part in the situation. That's why like when couples like have nasty divorce or whatever goes on with couples most of the time like it's a 50 50 thing going on. You know, I never buy into like oh one person is 100% right and the other one's terrible. Like please. You both were like in this relationship. You both were doing things that were right and wrong and you both contributed to the demise of your relationship equally. And like I said, Is that a bad thing?

That's just, you know, what was supposed to happen between you guys, you know? And you're both becoming better people through it, right? Because there is a silver lining here. Like you turned massive corners in your life and, and this is something that you just needed to do. It was like the final thing that you needed to do to change your life for the better. And he needed to do that as well. He was in a bad place too.

He probably could have never felt good about him sexually with you, good about himself sexually with you either. Just like you couldn't like get it up like get into him. Like he probably would never be able to get it up with you with your guy's history of everything, with you knowing everything. Like if he starts over with somebody new when he's on his new medication, when he feels good about himself, like he could go in like, you know, a different person. So it'll be much better for him as well. I agree. And, you know, I don't think there was any way. for him to get there while still being with me. And I don't think, you know, there's nothing, you know, I really, really tried.

And when I was, as I've gone through this transformation, as I continued drawing, it's ongoing for me. I really, I really tried to get him into what, you know, when I was doing, to encourage something on his own and he just never, never get it. And now he's going to be doing some things and taking him from classes. And he's got a support group. And, you know, I think these are things that had, had two years ago, when I started caring about myself, had she taken these steps. I don't think we would have been up with her now. But we all.

Yeah, that's what I said. Like, if you both went through that major change, you would have wound up to be on the same path. But that's what a lot of times, like, people's timing in their life. Like, no one's right or wrong. like you're not better than him that you did it two years earlier or he's later. Everyone has their own time in their life to do things that they need to do and they come to figure out things and learn things and change at their own pace. Like I said,

and what's right for them in their life. And a lot of times that just doesn't jive with somebody else. And when you're married to people, and that's why I think, you know, people that get married so young, they're so crazy because it's like, how do you think it's going to last? Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk.

Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. And listen, people do. Tons of people get married to their high school sweetheart or their car. And they last forever. And I give them fucking credit. I think that that's like soulmate stuff or something crazy.

I don't know because, yeah, it works though. It does for some people. But I think it's like, but I think it's like mostly scary to get married when you're so young because the odds of you staying with that same person and going through all the changes you're going to go through. And that person's going to do all the changing at the same time and you're going to be in, like, the chance of that are very slim. And that's why we see so much divorce. And I, like I said, people think it's such a bad thing. And I think it's like a natural thing that people change and grow and

maybe go down different paths. And then they want to be with somebody else or do other things. And it's time to say goodbye. That's why I've always been friends with my exes. I understand people that are friends with their exes and everyone's happy because they get over it because that's just life. It's not a bad thing. It's a devastating thing. I get why you're crying. I get why you're saying. I get that it's like the hardest thing. But, you know, that's life.

It's a part of life. And, you know, it will be for the better. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, like, it's been about two months when he read the text. But, I mean, called me everything in the book. I mean, we really, really, really talks for a while. But we've actually, you know,

the same living in the same time with some terrible. someday. Uh-huh. You know, we are, we're friends. We, you know, we, we, we, we still love each other. And we've talked about that. It's just not the same, like, I love you, kiss you at the door kind of feeling. Uh-huh.

Let me just ask you just for this, I just want to know what was in those scandalous texts that he saw. Oh, God. Well, you know. No, I don't know. I think. The problem is part of the married. white woman in black hair fancy, right?

So, you know, it's just how much better in his dick is, you know, yeah. Oh my God. And he saw all that. All of it.

All of it. You know, although the times when I like say I like doing one thing, but I'd really get a hotel because I can learn to know how much I was seeing this guy,

you know, so you turned to lie about your relationship with this guy to him, even though he's, knew about it. Well, he knew about some of those, he didn't know about some of the other times, but I go see him, you know?

Right, but I'm saying he was like, cool with you going to see. So in a weird way, because, and I, I pin guys on this all the time, so I have to say it to you, like, now it makes even more sense why he went looking, and he had every right to go looking, because I think that when you are, like, really involved with somebody and you are blatantly lying to them, and then they go looking through your, stuff and you're like, they're so wrong. It's just like, what do you expect? People smell stuff. People know stuff. Like you can't say, oh, he went crazy for no reason. You were actually lying for him. He wasn't dumb. People aren't dumb. People pick up on very subtle things. So you were actually lying to him.

And that's why he went looking because he knew on some level that you were doing things that you weren't telling him. So of course I made him crazy enough to go look. That happens all the time with women and men. And then the men will say, oh, she's so crazy because she's always accusing me. But it's like if you are actually doing things behind that person's back and lying about it, don't call the other person crazy. Okay? The other person is just fucking smart. And most people are. We all have gut instincts. We all kind of know. We can't, we don't know for sure. And that's why people go looking, but he knew and he was right. Well, he, so, I had a

from there, so that was a few months before he was working when I would go and, J.K.'s behind his back, but he used to feel almost this fog. He was out of this fog. I just, that was when he was very much in his bag. When he came out of this dog, I would just go hang out with my guy tonight, and he's heard of getting angry that I would choose to go see him and says, going at home with my husband.

Of course, he was becoming a real man. Yep. What you were missing, that's why you didn't get horny for him. Because what woman's going to get horny for a guy that's like, yeah, go fuck a guy who's dick is bigger than me. See you later, have a good fun vacation while you're not fucking him. He was just coming into his own finally. Yep.

And he was figuring it out. He was figuring out that, you know, okay, this isn't just physical. There's something more, you know, and I think that was really, like, I think he was just realizing that I was born, that I was. Even if it was just physical, I don't think he'd be okay with it. Because physically, this was a man who couldn't get it up. You weren't even having sex with him, and you were physically going and having sex at somebody else. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh-uh. Hey, I don't. Like, I know where, I know, I know my part in all this. I know that. I'm only giving you a hard time more because I'm on the phone with you. Okay.

Like, have you? No. But I give myself a hard time too You know Like when I go see my therapist I'm like look This isn't you know They're so they're really

I feel like they're really hard on my husband Because You know There's a lot of things like Very much I felt like you know Again like we've very much been on our own islands And like like

Like people are teens too They're a bitch You know one that I see in my own One than I've seen with him and on my own And it all kind of things the same thing. I'm like, but look, you know, people look at this whole situation

because I am not perfect here, you know? Yeah, but let me ask you this. Do those therapists know all about the gangbangs and the other boyfriend? Yeah. They do? And they give him more a hard time? Yeah.

That's fucked up. They're wrong. Like, what do they give him the hard time for? I'm not saying that he's right, but why do they give him more of a hard time? Well, it proves like any, you know, So when I, so the boyfriend, you know, I work on the weekends. I travel on the weekends and I work.

And I work really, really hard. I work, you know, a lot of days where I'm working 60 hours. It's laborious. I'm on my feet. You know, when I get home, I sleep all Sunday. And then I work a regular full-time job on a day. And then I go work on the weekends again. And I, for a long time, invited my husband.

And I have to do this. And our Riven makes me at our home. And I have wanted, I've wanted my husband to go with me. He's gone with me a few times and it's been terrible. And she's it and he complains. And I get so frustrated and worried and finally, you know, just don't come with me. Well, at the same time, whether it's because of him being so depressed or a fog or whatnot, you know, at the same time, nothing is getting done at home.

You know, she's not bringing in the other. income he's not being only of the housework you know like it's I have felt very abandoned in my marriage you know like A he had the opportunity to come with me and help me on the

road which he doesn't and being he's not helping me at all at home yet I'm the brother winner and paying most of the bills and I'm killing myself on the road so I can make the ends meet for the more car that he bought when he got an oil case right?

Uh-huh So, those are some of the things, and that's why I think this opening for this other man who did want to come with me on the weekends, you know, whether it's for his back or what, you know, I think that there is just that, that opening was there and I was looking for someone to be that kind of help. and it was just so easy for me to it was just you know there is just that opening there for someone that truly

that I know but that's the good thing is is that you had figured this is why I feel more for him than for you and this is why I give you a little bit more of a hard time unlike your guys therapists okay and it's only because you because you honestly. What? I like, I like having a couple of eye turned down myself.

No, no, you do that enough for you. This is the only reason, well, this is what I'm saying, is because you were, like, you guys had these problems, right? And like I said, both of you, like, you know, contributed to the problems. Both of you were equally wrong, right? Let's say we start there. This is before the gang we before. But what happened at a certain point is you went, and got a lot of your needs that weren't being met at home elsewhere. You found another boyfriend. You were fucking him. You were like living another life. You had taken a step out of your marriage and were getting a lot of those needs that your husband wasn't giving for you someplace else. So you were like ahead of him.

Like you had it better than him. He was still stuck at home in that terrible marriage that you were stuck in. But he didn't have a girlfriend giving him the things you weren't giving him. He wasn't getting fucked. He wasn't having a vacation. He wasn't talking shit about you and letting go of his terrible feelings about you to some other woman that cared about him and had a better pussy than you. You were with another. So that's the only reason why I think that there's a little bit of imbalance that.

And he's, you know, he'll be there and he'll get there. And I think like good for you that you went and did that. You were taking care of yourself. You had, like I said, had this change when you lost all the weight and you finally like loved your. yourself enough to start sort of going out and going after the things that you wanted and sort of being that person, right? And you probably weren't that person before. So there's nothing wrong with what you did. And you did it very open and honestly with him, right? So it wasn't like you were wrong, right? You were like right the whole time to do that. But the only reason why I feel

more bad for him is because he didn't, he couldn't do that for himself. So he was still like left in the back in this shit marriage by himself. So what did you expect him to do? What did you really, what are these therapists expect him to do? You know, he needed to have what happened now. He was on the wrong medication, you know, get the medication. And then maybe now he could have maybe made those changes. But you guys don't have any kids. And you don't, you know, and I don't know that he could come back to being able to have a good sex life with you after you've been with this other guy. And you still have a good relationship with the other guy. So you're not. willing to leave that relationship now to be with your husband, right?

Right. Yeah, so, I mean. So that's the only reason why I feel. I totally am giving you a harder time. And I shouldn't because, like you say, you give you a hard time. But I'm just showing you that there is a, I, like, I don't care if you're my best friend. If you're a guy or your girl, whoever, like, I always, I try to be fair, you know. So I'm just a little bit more on his side or whatever just because he needs it more than you

do. You're more okay. You're more okay than he is. Do you know what I mean? But you weren't okay. And I don't think you're wrong for leaving that marriage. I don't think you're wrong for doing the things that you needed to do for yourself to find yourself. Like at all, like swear. Like you, I think it's all good, you know, even though it was hurtful to him and stuff. Like I said, I only, I can't believe your therapist still put that poor guy down. I mean, he should go find some new therapist too once he's done with this situation, because he needs somebody to like kind of help him get to the place where he goes and gets his needs met too instead of hanging on to you. Because right now, you're not somebody that's going to be able to give him the things that he needs. He needs to go and

find that other person as well, because you already did. He does. He does. You know, and I, I really, you know, honestly, with opening up our relationship, and, you know, when we were back when she was thinking about trying to explore it. My true hope is that he would find someone that was a better foot for him. Right. So you wouldn't feel so bad. It would be easier.

Yeah, because you didn't want to just totally even. Yeah, of course, because you felt guilty. You care about this person. You're not a terrible person. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, it's sad that it's a thing, but at the same time, like,

I'm just, you know, know, I think it's just better for both of us in the long run, you know. Absolutely. I said this in that last podcast, that you were the one, like what you did as much as it sounds worse because you were the one that went. Like, you did for your relationship what needed to be done. Like, this whole thing was not good. It needed to completely break apart and either it was going to be put back together and

be better or it was just going to be never put back together. but you guys would go off separately and be better. But neither one of you were in a good place or happy. So you were, it was good what you, it was the right thing. It really was. She is messy. Life is messy. That's why I hate these talk shows.

Of course and it's okay. And that's why I always would hate talk shows when I was younger. And I'd see like people and they'd be on the stage with their husband and like someone would say I'm getting a divorce and then the whole people would be like boo the husband that did the bad like everyone would be so negative about stuff like this is just the way fucking life goes people have to fuck up people have to do wrong things for things to end things have to be bad it's just the law of nature there's good and there's bad there's day and there's night there's happiness there's sorrow like that's just the way that it is people aren't bad people are fucking human

beings and that's what human beings do. So you're not wrong. He's not wrong. Right now I feel more bad for him because he's not, you know, but that doesn't mean that you were wrong. Do you know what I mean? You were actually the one that was ahead of the game. You were the one that brought to the table what needed to be done, which was the, you know, everything that you did that brought this relationship down. It was good even though it doesn't seem good. Do you know what I mean? So don't let anyone judge you or make you feel bad about yourself for what you did because that's just the stuff that happens. And like I said, when you look back, it will be for the better. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it's funny, you know, I see so many people, you know, on Facebook, Twitter or whatever they are, thousands of people who know

people don't know and going off about their husband, their boyfriends and cheating and this and that And like, you know what? People, I honestly don't feel as though you can be with the same person the rest of your life, whether that means like your, you know, you break up, you move on, you don't get married. You know, I just feel like, you just got to like take things as they are. Right. Or they work out in different ways, right? I mean, listen, I have had so many people on my show that are,

cheating, okay? And I will, and I'll probably have a hundred more, okay? And they're always like different stories, but it's just because this whole monogamy thing for the rest of your life is a little bit bizarre. I think some people can do it, right? Like, you can't say that it's, it's not 100% any way, right? But people are, the younger generation, which I think is great, are figuring out different kind of ways to make relationships maybe last longer because I think more people are coming to the conclusion because people like you that probably never thought they'd cheat or do whatever, you know, they wind up being in that situation because they're stuck in this marriage and they're not happy. They think I have to stay in it. So then they go do these other things.

Like maybe if there wasn't, if divorce wasn't so negative or if people thought that they didn't have to stay, maybe they wouldn't do these things. I don't know what the solution. is, right? But there's like things weren't really working. And it definitely wasn't working in your life, right? But what's great about like you living life messy is you'll have more empathy moving forward for people in your situation. I think people are so judgmental because maybe they haven't come to terms with the shit that they've done or they haven't done enough living to really be able to understand. But you know, sometimes you do things that you would never think you do. you wind up in situations you never think and it doesn't make you a bad person sometimes you do

bad things but you know that's just life two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. So you can't really judge you or anyone else for cheating or not or what doing a gang bang or whatever it is. Because first of all, you don't know where you're going to be or what you're going to, what other people are going to, you know. So I'm always happy for all the fucked up.

crazy shit I've done in my life because it makes me completely non-judgmental. And that is like, I love that because I hate to like look at people and think that they're bad or wrong for what they did. I hate when I see people doing that because it's

it's bullshit. That's not what we're here for. It is. It is. And it's, because we're just going to have to hear because so I, and I think I you know, we're like the guy and I are selfish for, you know, I don't, we, we take things day

you know, there's there, I don't have any expectations. I think the minute that you have, you know, expectations you're going to where you're not on the same page with someone or where you don't talk with somebody about it, but you just, you just kind of

expect things. I think that's the minute you set yourself up to be heartbroken. So, but you know, what we, I told him, I say, you know, he's really the only person that isn't judging me for all my shit because

there's a lot of fucking shit you know and if that's just with him like there's a lot a lot of shit that have gone on in the last nine months and and you know I I think he's the only one

that I truly can tell that knows it all but isn't judging me because he's he's a met shit too like you're right and that's that shit too Right. And that's why there was that connection between you guys, because there was a, you guys were on the same page that day that you met him, right? And that's how life works. You know, you feel, listen, I think like when you say, oh, the minute you have expectations, you get heartbroken, like that is, that is like words of somebody that is heartbroken, right? I do believe that you can expect things. And I do believe that you should. And I don't believe that it always leads to heartache. I think that that's.

like when you meet the right person, like that's eventually can happen again for you. I get why you feel that way now, right? And where you're at now, you are in the best kind of relationship you should be in for where you're at right now. You guys might change and turn into a more, a different kind of relationship in the future. Who knows what's going to happen with this guy with you. But he works for you right now and it is perfect. And that's exactly what you need. but I do believe because you're somebody who has really changed and you're going after the things that you want and expect that you don't believe, don't think that you can't have expectations and you can't have like, because you can one day when you're ready for it. You have to do that

in love and expect. And the right person will step up to it and give you what you want and be the right thing and you won't be hard work. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I, you know, I I think I think I've been survival, like protect myself mode, you know? I don't want to go. And, you know, I feel a little hypocritical because I've always tried of myself on being really strong and independent. And, you know, I can go do what I need to do to take care of myself. I don't need anybody else to do anything with, you know, I, like, I can, I can, I can hustle. I live with my whole, I'm sorry, I'm cutting up so much in this podcast.

I know people are going to be like, what the. fuck, but I don't really care. Listen to me. I lived my whole life as a strong, quote, unquote, woman doing everything on my own. And I've, like, very recently a couple years ago, really realize that I don't really think that there's anything strong about doing everything yourself and being alone. I think you need help. Everybody does. That's why people partner up in life. I think it's a much better way to be. And I think that there's so much more strength in admitting when you need help and in being able to be with somebody and be in a partnership and make that work, I think that that's so much stronger. So I don't think that whole doing it alone thing and

there's that much strength in it. I don't, I think you're strong right now. I think you are very strong. And there's nothing not strong about knowing that you need to have someone around, that you need help, that you need somebody that's not judging you. And I'm very, and, And that's where, you know, like, I know that I can do it all myself, but I'll say, like, God, it's nice to have other person who has my back. Yes. But, you know, like, I know that he has my back. Like, even if I don't talk to him for two days, as I call him up with, like, I'm having the most awful day right now. And I need to see him.

He'll be like, all right, where are we going to meet? You know, like, it's just filling of that person is there is really, really, but also the knowledge that if he's not then, then I'm still okay. You know, I'm still going to be okay. I know how to make, I know how to live on my own

and, like, I think that's one makes it better with him because, again, that, like, there's not this, there's not some kind of need. It's not out of a need. Right. And there's not a need. It's not like you're there because you need him. You're there because you want that in your life. And there's a big difference. I think people that don't feel comfortable being alone and haven't sort of, they haven't built that sort of inner strength or that inner happiness and just being themselves and being who they are with nothing. Right. That's like the place you have to start out. And then everything else is

gravy, you know, and that's how you enter into relationships in the best way possible. Because then if you don't need that person so desperately, right? You don't put on, like, bullshit into that relationship. And that's, right. So that's the best way to start off. And that's where you're at because you started this relationship in a really good place with for yourself, not in your relationship with your husband. But, you know, there have done, like, with the guy, you know, I think we started it as a,

this is physical, this fantasy. You know, you're coming over to front me at my house on my husband's away. Yeah. Then it turned into more of a, you know, older. They just got a little bit more serious. Going like two weekends and said, well, he has kind of been rich in the summer

and he kind of dated someone else. And this person doesn't know about me, you know? And this woman, I don't know. I don't think, from what I, from what he's told me now, like things are not as serious as they were over the summer.

But over the summer, she was a girlfriend. Uh-huh. you know and I went to a teleiate where I was like oh my god well I have to try to try to be something different than when I am now because obviously

you know this woman does something that I don't and I had to take a step back and I'd be like you know I shook my sauce and I was like stop you know like if you choose to deal with someone else it's not because of me it's not

because I'm not good enough. I'm not going to change who I am because he's enjoying someone else. You know, like that honestly has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with her. She's single and I'm married and, you know, and I really had to kind of like break this old habit of trying to be different because, you know, and not be true to who I am now because of those, what I felt they needed me to be. And surprise, so I am, you know, four months later and, you know, he and I are in a better place than we've ever gone because I, I've just been true to myself.

And because, again, I don't need him. I am okay. Right. I am okay. That's important. And I think that that, I think, quite honestly, I think, think to him. like that's more attractive than anything else. Mm-hmm.

Of course. Yeah, there isn't that pressure on this relationship because of all of that. And you guys met and you're in the same position, kind of. I mean, right? So that's why it's working right now between the two of you. And again, like, you know, I don't want to be, I always suit this, like, disdain for women who would go from one relationship and do an. other relationship and, you know, and I look at my spouse, I'm like, look, I can't judge

if I was in there anymore. I had no idea what they're, like, their situation was. You know, I look at my situation and I'm like, you know, this is what it is. And I'm not going to, in a worst serious relationship with this person, you know, as short circumstances less than me. And, you know, I'm not going to turn down being happy with someone because I don't feel like it's Because I looked down on it in the past, you know. I just, I don't know. Some people are relationship people. I know people that go from one long-term relationship to another.

They're just not happy being alone. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. People are, like, different, you know. I don't think that, you know, like you said, you can't really judge anybody. Everyone, I see patterns in people a lot, people's lives, and some people have that pattern. I know friends that have that pattern. And I think that that's just what they do. And they stay for a long time in their relationship.

So there's something wrong with that. For you, you know, you add your husband. been, you have that seven years, you'll probably wind up in another long-term relationship. I don't know if it will be with this guy or somebody else. This guy might be transitional, but it's great that you have him. Yeah, I'm thankful, you know, and I'm really thankful for what, again, for him just having my back with all this, you know, it's, I know it can't be easy to be involved with someone who's married, you know, so.

So, you know, with our list of what the state of see started out as, I mean, we're kind of beyond that now, you know. Uh-huh. When you get eight months into something, you're kind of beyond just, you know, the gang gang and cuckold where it's fantasy, right? Right. Uh-huh. But, yeah, you know, it's just, it's a really weird place in my life right now, but, you know, I guess we're just kind of looking forward to wherever it goes. And if I end up single, if I end up, you know, who knows what I'll end up. But I think it's going to create more gross than I would have a day in my marriage.

Oh, I think you're going to wind up with a, I'm going to tell you what I think, okay, because is my psychic premonition, because I make premonitions in the right. I think you're going to wind up with another guy eventually in a long-term relationship, and a really good relationship. Probably married again. That's what I think. But I don't think that's going to happen in three months. I say like maybe a year and a half, maybe like a year and a half.

maybe like a year and a half from now, that's what's going to wind up happening to you. I think you're more of a relationship person than you are of a alone person. I don't think you're going to be alone for that long. You might even have this guy all the way up until you meet somebody else. But I think you will wind up having another relationship with somebody else. But like I said, it won't happen right now, but probably like a year and a half, I think. That's what I think.

And I need to know if I'm right because a year and a half will go by so fast. Really quick. I can't believe it's friend. like eight months since everything started, you know. I mean, it's just, you know. Right. So eight months will go by real quick. Yeah.

Yeah. Quick question because we're going to wrap this up. But like, did you and this guy, have you guys just been having like sex with each other? Have you done anything sort of crazy like you used to do like with the gang bang? Or are you guys just sort of like just regular sex with you? Just the two of you, right? so you haven't done gone right? No, I mean, it's really good sex.

And I really surprised that it's as good now as it was the first time. Right. Usually I get bored, but, you know, not with him. I mean, we've talked about, you know, I think we like having a woman join us. I think, you know, I've got a friend that I really would like to join us. She's in a Polly relationship with her husband. but she would enjoy, I think she would enjoy, I think she and I would enjoy each other

and enjoy pleasing him as well. So that's kind of on the table. It might happen in the next couple months because I'll let you know. Yeah, see, there you go. That's why you need to be single for a year and a half. You're going to live out all these fantasies. And then you're going to wind up in a regular relationship.

That's what I say. That's what I think. But, you know, I think that we'll go out and we'll be like, you know, she's hot. we could take her back or, you know, we've talked about, you know, finding another woman. We just, it needs to be the right one. Right. And I think, you know, he's got a couple buddies.

I think if we drank or smoked a little weed together and all ended up somewhere, you know, I think things might go down that road. But since the gangbang, I mean, he and my husband is the only two people I've spent with. And I haven't slept with the husband for a month. So, you know, and I know. and I know that he's speaking with a other woman and it doesn't bother me because I have to be thankful

for what I, you know, I, I'm fine with what I have with him. And, you know, I can't let another, that other woman that he's thinking with make a difference between me and him, you know? No, he's like so perfect for what you have right now. Don't ruin that by, like, getting so caught up and what he's doing when he's not with you because you have shit

that you have to take care of. So you don't, you can't give him 100% anyway right now because you're still like have this marriage thing that you have to deal with and you're moving so you know it's good that he has somebody else a little bit on the side because you can't really be fully president a real relationship right now anyway so I think that's smart to just not even take that into consideration no and it was it's funny because I can know when now you were that they were getting more here you know I told them I'm like

I don't want you to lie to me or high things for me as that I know that you know that know, Kelly went up with her, he told me was up with her and said, I'm not

freaking out about you. He's like, this is so weird because I need to really freaking out. And like, just don't, it's a high shit for me.

If you can't go with me on a weekend, tell me it's because you're with her. Then I'm not going to bother you. I won't send you naked pictures, you know? Like, I respect

your relationship with this other woman. And, you know, he's told me that. he felt, you know, kind of an instant connection with her the same way that he and I did. And I'm like, if that's the case, I can't deny you that. Right. So, you know, and if it ends up that she ends up with her, then I'm happy for him.

Oh, yeah, and then you'll wind up with somebody else. But for right now, I think he's not going to be going anywhere anytime soon anyway, especially if you keep that threesome on the table. Just keep that threesome on the table with him. No, he's just to turn around for the head. He's supposed to. He what? I just keep, but you can pick their own for the board up.

So I just have to keep giving them proud and that's fine. Oh, okay. That's how I keep on that. Okay, so keep that. But also do that too. Just keep that, you know, that threesome lingering in front of them. It's dangling, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And then until you meet somebody else and then you can let go of him. But anyway, I think that, you know, I think that's great. So, you know, maybe you'll call back in when you have that threesome. But thanks so much for this update because that was heavy, hardcore stuff. But I think, you know, a good listen for people because I think a lot of people go through this kind of massive change at some point in their life. But maybe next time you come on, it'll be a little bit more fun and you'll tell us all about your threesome.

Yeah, yeah. I need to have some little big, fun stories. While it's not going all, I think we can still fight it up a little bit. It's tough when you meet somebody with a bang like that. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Where do you go from there?

Yeah, Christine, the Gang Bang. people want to hear some more stories. So go to work on that in the next couple months while you're dealing with all this pain. Have a little fun. And then call back in and give me the stories. I will. I will. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to speak with you. Totally. Good luck with everything. All right. Thank you. Christine. Bye. Bye. Bye. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk.

Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available. only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like,

there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbbing girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third, person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format. paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could

pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. that's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com, and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.