Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 157 - Tommy's Wife Cheated on him in the Worst Way Possible

Episode Date: December 18, 2016

Ex Co-host Tommy's wife cheated on him in the worst way possible and he finally calls in with all the details. Why did she cheat? How did she cheat? Who did she cheat with? How did he find out? Tune in to find out, plus hear a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your Greek black lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kane and Tommy. Hey, welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast, old co-host Tommy.

How are you? Yes, the talent is back in the room. I just want you to know that I just got an email, like, honestly, swear to God, from a guy who was like, I love your podcast. And then I guess he listened to a bunch of them. And he was like, oh, by the way, I think you're much better by yourself than with your old co-host. Obviously, a nobody listening to your podcast. A nobody? Don't call it a nobody. I think everyone has a different taste. I was devastated when I had to fire you from the podcast because I love the podcast with you, but I have to say I really like it without you as well. So there you go. I helped you out. I pushed you out on your own.

No, this is, yes, you did. It was much easier for me to do it on my own. But I thought you were, I thought we were great together. I thought you were a great co-host. It was just too hard for schedule. There's a million reasons why it didn't work that are not personal. Yeah. I have a job. You don't. I mean, hard. thing. Yeah, okay, whatever. I said not personal, but you want to make it personal. That just shows the difference. I'm not going to make anything personal. Okay, that's the difference between me and you.

You take a jab at me. I'm being nothing but complimentary in the first two minutes. So I've been dying to get you on the show. I just want everyone to know, because everything's always on the up and up on the show, that Tommy literally made me write an email to him, like the most formal email, like legal email wrote like written to him to say that I will not air this podcast before

he gives me written permission to do so because he's afraid I'm going to fuck him over which is not going to happen. So this podcast will air when Tommy when everything Tommy is about to say is you know totally cool and even if his ex hears it it doesn't fucking matter because nothing can be done right?

That's correct. And that's what this podcast is going to be about. Let's start off with your story. I've been teasing my listeners with how great your divorce story is. You know, everyone knew you were married. You talked a lot about your wife on this podcast. Yeah. Right?

You know, and you were. Yeah, all positive things. Yeah. And let me tell you, because everyone wound up knowing that I actually was like, you were like my booty call guy for like a really long time. And I knew you and knew the real you for a very long time. And I have to say as somebody that really knew you and knew you in your heyday. and when you were a player,

scumbag, and I knew you when you were married, and I am here to say 100% in all honesty, and I would tell the fucking truth, that you really changed for this girl. You got yourself clean.

You really were not cheating. Like, you really had given up all your girls, so much so that when you got divorced, you were like hitting me up to like, fuck you. And I'm like, I'm not interested. And I'm like, just call one of your other girls. And you're like, Kathy, I have nobody else.

Because I'm like, why me? Like, I can't. be the end all be l, but it was really because you had none of your girls' numbers anymore. Like, you really gave that all up. You went clean and sober. Yeah, I changed my, yeah, I changed my old lifestyle.

Listen, I'm not, I wasn't like, don't get it, don't get it wrong. I wasn't some, like, you know, conniving. Yes, you were. You were a 100% cheater. Can I talk? Sure. You know, let me say. Sure. So, I mean, I was,

you know, a single guy. in Manhattan, and I was, I was playing it. Tommy, Tommy. But then, listen, am I finishing? Tommy, you never were faithful to any of your girlfriends. This was the first one you were faithful to. You never, you always cheated on all of your girlfriends. Your full-fledged girlfriends, you were not a single guy mingling.

So let me say, I met somebody who I was involved with, not involved with, involved with again. and you know, I made the choice that, you know, I'm fully committing to this person. Yeah, and I did. That's why what I'm trying to say. You can't take the compliment and you can't be honest, but I'm going to tell you, Tommy, I knew you through lots of long-term relationships. You were the type of guy that liked lots of ass and lots of variety, but you also are a very intense emotional guy and you really like relationships, okay?

You always were like, that was like the confliction with you because you always wanted to play, but you really liked, you really always needed that one person to have in your, as a relationship. That's who you were. That's who you always were. But what happened in the past before you met this girl is you would, you were both. You would have that relationship because you needed it and you liked that kind of closeness and you wanted love in your life. But you also played around. But when you finally met this girl, because she knew that's how you were, she sort of demanded you to change and you did.

You were ready, obviously. Nobody forces you to do anything. I mean, I think that you finally grew up and you had played around so much that you got a lot of it out of your system and you were good to go. You were like going to be married, you're having a baby and you really changed your whole life

and you really threw out everyone's number and you weren't fucking around and you were very faithful to this woman and that was the first time in your life that you were. So don't say that you were just single in- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're 100% right and I agree to you. Yeah. And for everyone to listen in here,

why did I get divorced? She cheated on me. Right. And that's the paradox. That's the, like, what do they call it, like, Murphy's Law? Like, you know, like, that's the thing. It's, like, so hilarious. Yeah.

That, you know, here you were the one always, okay, that's, we're going to get into that. But the crazy thing is, is you really were not cheating. You had really turned your life around. She was always on you about cheating. That was a big reason why, you know, she was pissed off at you coming to my house to do the podcast. Like, she was, like, mental with you with other women, even though you had nothing going on, right? nothing absolutely nothing right but she was still jealous because she knew of your and she couldn't trust you at this at this state is the game i mean i could tell you like all right

yeah i did have something going on or whatever um because it probably would make me feel better about everything that went down right exactly that i did have a side piece or something like that you wouldn't be such a schmuck but i didn't no i know i'm here to tell i would out you i would out you because you know you're straight with me because we've always been friends even when we fucked like we were always like straight of friends. I knew exactly what was going on because that's the kind of relationship we have. So I know if you were cheating on her, you would have told me because you told me I knew that I knew that you were in therapy. I knew that you really wanted to change. Like I said, you didn't do it for her, Tommy. I've known you a long time. You just really got to the point where

you wanted to be a better man and you wanted to do the right thing. It's not about being I wanted to do the right thing but I wanted to get to the next stage in my life Right and do it the right way You come from a divorce family Where your father Fucked your mother's best friend

Behind her back, okay And so you didn't want that You didn't want to be that guy I think you really stepped up to the plate And you did the right thing And I saw you go through that And I really respected that And I was happy for you

I like when people change I think that that's what life's all about Why stay the same? You know what I mean? You drastically change your life. You went from being a player cheater to be a family man, married, faithful guy. And I love that leap of faith in you that you could do it. And you did it.

And so what happened is she cheated on you. And could you just tell the story from the beginning because it is really good. It is really good. And after hearing everything that Kathy said and I said, you know, changing my life, like, you know, going faithful, which was actually quite relief. You know, you didn't have to live this lie. You didn't have to worry about who was falling you or anything like this. It was great.

And, you know, we have a child, and it just changed my life. So, you know, they were traveling. They were traveling abroad. I'm not going to say exactly where she's from, but they went to visit her family. in where she's from. When you say they, you mean her and your son, right? Her and my son while I was starting up my new business.

And it was a cold winter. So I figured, go there, so where you're from, where it's warmer, and hang out with your cousins and enjoy. Because they'll be so busy starting up a new business. So with that said, they were away for over a month, which obviously I paid for everything, you know. And I worked days a week 24-7 to get my new business up and running. And when they came back, they were back for not even six days.

And I said, you know, I haven't seen you guys on. Let's go on another trip. So we went down to the tropics so I could basically just veg my kid and, you know, and my wife and get reconnected and rest. And we did. lovely awesome time, whatever. Right, so obviously things were going well in your relationship at this point, right? I thought so. I thought that things were going great.

Okay. You know, it wasn't like, yeah, and with that said, there was no fighting. There was no, you know, it was really, it was really good, healthy is what I thought. Okay. So, you know, the only issue I had with her was that she was lazy and with respect, Because when you have a, you know, a very young child and, you know, I'm working seven days a week. She's not working at all. And when I say not working all, it's not working a job.

But being a parent is a lot of people, you know, stay at home mom, it's exhausted. To pay for everything. So when I get home from work late, late at night, I don't want to have to get up 6 o'clock in the morning to change a diaper and do all that. That's kind of her depart, you know? and that's where we were fighting. She wasn't doing that. She was being lazy and sleeping in and, oh, you get him. And that was our only argument.

And that's normal and par for the course, right? That's like normal relationship shit. It wasn't like you guys were like not sort of right with each other and fighting about every little thing. Like that's normal stuff I think when you have a baby. No one had any, nobody had any substance problem. Right. handling problems.

You were. cheating on her. Yeah. So with that said, you know, she pulled that not wanting to get out of bed one morning and it was my day off.

I had this one day off. And I said, come on, let me just sleep in an extra hour to put my day up. And then we're all going to go out of the family, you know? On the day out, go to sleep, do whatever.

And she wouldn't get out of bed. She wouldn't get out of bed. So I ended up having to get out of bed. because I'm not going to let my kid cry. And when I got out, I looked back at her in the bed, and I was like, you know, really piss me off that I got to break my ass and you just sit here and do nothing. I went in and she got all mad, got dressed,

first thing in the one, and left the house, went to one of her family members apartment. Okay. So you guys were like in a little bit of a fight over something. A little bit of a tip there. I was just like, whatever. Go chill out. So then I took my kid and I said,

fuck it. I'm not going to ruin our day. Right? So I just went on and did what I had planned. And went to the reserve. Went out to lunch. We had a real fun day. Then we came back and the two of us went to sleep and took his afternoon nap. We woke up and he was already home. She was, you know, just locked in the bedroom texting, you know, just.

No, but to go to the point, I know that in the middle of the... the night. You heard her come in, right? No, no, no. Listen, so we wake up and I see her in there and whatever and he, and my kid goes in and, you know, says hi and everything. So me, just to show you what type of guy I am, I got up, I started cooking a pasta sauce. I started making tortellinis and a salad.

I decanted a nice bottle of wine and I put it all out for her eye and our child, like, you know, I laid everything out, made it all night. And I went in and I said, hey, you know, listen, bygones, be guidelines. I know we didn't get along this morning, but I made this a nice, beautiful meal. Let's sit down and eat. And she talked, she snapped at me and says, I'm not hungry. I'm going out.

So I was like, all right. So she's still mad. Right. Yeah, but, you know, I mean, someone goes so far beyond to say, hey, here's the olive branch and she's forget about it. That's the type of person. And let's just not. Right.

The type of person where she is is that she doesn't care. That doesn't matter her. She's still. She wanted to hold the grudge. Yeah. So going forward, my kid, my kid and I sat down and we had tortellini's and she came in all dressed to the nines, like I'm going out clothes. And she fits the child and went out the door and slammed the door.

at 9 o'clock at 8.30 at night. Oh, okay. So we finished dinner and washed him up, put his DJs on. We, you know, we played and played and we had a long day. And then, you know, give his bottle. And then we went to sleep, both of us. I said, you know what? Put him in his bed.

I said, you know what? I'm so tired to. I'm just going to go to bed as well, you know? Good. So I climbed into bed. and then at around 5, 10 in the morning. My, you know, it keeps the cell phone in the bed. The phone starts ringing.

I see it's her. Hey, what's up? All frigging drunk. Hey, I can't find my keys. Can you open the door? I said, where are you? And, you know, there's the front door to get into the foyer. Then you got a key into the, from the foyer, into the building, and then up to the apartment.

I said, oh my God, are you outside? She goes, no, I'm in the, in the foreyard. I was like, yeah, but how did you get in there? It's the same key to get into there. You know what I mean? Right, of course. And she's so dark. And with you that I own, I own a bar underneath where I live.

Right. You own the whole building. So in this one building where Tommy lives is also like the, you know, his bar. So, and you own the whole building and you live on top. Yeah. So. I'm like, all right, so maybe she was in here drinking with her friends, and she came up through, you know, the bar entrance into that little foyer,

and I was like, all right, so I'd run down there, and I'm a little nervous, and that maybe someone's holding her. You know, you live in New York, you think, thing. But I looked on the camera, and she was there, everything was good. So I opened the door. She comes in. She's got no shoes on. Okay.

Her pants are undone. Her belt is over her shoulder. And she's got no jacket. She's holding her pocketbook. Okay. And she's wasted. And she runs up the stairs. How old was your wife?

How old was she? She 30, 20, 30? Okay. Yeah. So I'm like, this is fucking weird. So I go up and she does a dive right into the couch. and crashes out

I'm like all right whatever I threw a blanket on top of her I'm like let her sleep at off still didn't think of anything

then I go to sleep and you know alone but all my kid wakes up in two hours you know so I grab him

then she like drunken stumbles to the bathroom then she climbs into the bed while we're out in the living room

and you know it's getting later and later and later and later and now to really go to work and I'm dressed and like I got to go work and she can't even lift her head off to bed

so I end up calling her mother to come over I said this you got to come over and watch the baby yeah the kid and because I got to go to work and your daughter is like sick is all right I'll be right over but she comes over and uh

I walk out and I go downstairs and I said you know what Let me walk through the bar, the two floors of the bar. So I go on to the second floor and I see her jacket and scarf on top of the bar. Like, all right, maybe she came here with her friends, like I said before, and had some drinks and they stay late after the bar closed. Then I go down the next stairway, which connects the two bar floors. And there's her shoes, a guy's undershirt, a guy's,

a guy's stock I'm like what the fuck is this right so then I obviously go down into my office and I have over 30 cameras in my establishment you know for liability it went up

and I said what the hell happened yeah for it and I I go into my office and I watch her come in so you you decide to look at the footage to see what the fuck happened right so you're watching

So I watched her enter the building 10 minutes before the bar closed at like $3.50 with some guy. And they're at, you know, my establishment while my staff is like on the other side of the bar closing up while they're like making out, he's like fingering her. And this is all on. While you're sleeping upstairs with the baby. On camera. Yeah. And one feet away. Yeah.

From where I'm sleeping with my kid. And then, like, she goes down on them. And then the guy, the staff comes back and they're like, oh, well, you know, they knew something's fishy. And they're like, well, this guy's got to go. She said, no, no, no, no. It's my friend from my country. And they were like, okay. She's like, just close the door and you see her.

Pull this guy. He was about to leave. Pull the guy into the hallway. Mm-hmm. where they know there is no camera and that's where I found all the clothing and then I see them come out from the top like 20 minutes later

after they go in because there's a camera at either entrance so if you them go in and then 20 minutes later they come out and he just has his sweater on not his shirt you see him missing a sock you know what I mean

Right, you know they fucked in that hallway. You know they went there, fucked, and then came back, right. So I had to witness all this. Unbelievable. Of course. I mean, to me, I remember when you told me this story, I just could not fucking believe because it's like the whole, like, you're, it's literally like, first of all, there's so many parts of it that are so horrifying.

First of all, she's doing it right beneath you. She's doing it in your business that you have established in front of your workers while you're upstairs taking care of your guy's baby. Like, I mean, every part of it is so wrong. It's not even funny. Correct. And she had just gotten back from a trip with my kid to her country for a month. Right, where she met this guy.

And later found out, yeah. Well, you know, but I, you know, I searched social media and whatever, found out who he was friends with. It was one of her girlfriends that he was friends with. And he's from a town that's like a half. hour away from where she was for most of the trip. And I can't 100% prove that she met him there, but it's just like, come on. Okay, but just get to the point. So now you see this on Phil.

Like you see this in front of you. I mean, anybody who sees something like that, it's like you need, your legs can cut out from underneath you. Like someone just punched you right in the gut. Right. It's nothing you could ever even imagine, right? Because, I mean, did you ever think in your wildest fantasy, like whatever would happen between you too

that she would actually cheat on you? Like she was pretty like, I mean, did you ever have to worry about that with her? Never, never, ever, ever. But that it all makes sense why she was so jealous of every and anything I did, always looking through my phone. So, lo and behold, I took three. weeks.

I took a month to think about things. Wait, wait a second. I don't remember this. So wait, you see everything. You know everything that she did. It's full disclosure right there in front of you. I mean, you don't get better proof than that shit, right? I mean, how could she deny it?

You don't run upstairs. Okay, but you, okay, but you don't run upstairs and be like, what the fuck? I'll finish it. Yeah. I ran upstairs with a copy of the DVD. And I was like, I opened the door and I said her mom was there right and I'm like you I'm like you I'm like your daughter needs to hire an attorney that's what you said to the mom I think she needs to hire attorney mom's like why why why why why why why

why why and I gave her the DVD and she woke up real quick from her little hangover slumber she's like what are you talking about and I said I can't believe you cheated on me in my own establishment 20 feet away from me and our kid were sleeping. Right. Because, no, I don't know what you're talking about. I was like, listen, the camera doesn't lie. Here it is. You did it all on camera.

And I think it all hit her and, you know, her drunkenness and it's all coming in a light. And I think, you know, and the guilt of being, you know, when you're hung over, you automatically feel all sensitive and guilty. Yeah. I walked out. And I mean, I was in shock because here is my worst fear ever, especially with a child. I mean, if we didn't have a child, I think it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me

because I could just say, fuck it, onward and upward, see you later. I'll go find somebody else. But the fact that we had a child, and I already had that in my head about, you know, doing all the things different that I felt when I was raised that, you know, I didn't want my kid to be in a divorce situation with his parents. I wanted him to just kind of grow up to not have any. You wanted him to have a better life than you had. You certainly didn't want to put him through exactly what you did.

That's why you changed your life. Yeah, that's why you stopped cheating because you didn't want to do that same thing. I, what you call it, I took about a month to really think things over about could I get past this, could I work through it with her, you know, for the, and everyone's like, oh, for the sake of your kid, for the sake of your kid, but then I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'll do anything for my kid. You know what I mean? but would it be fair to him to see me in a situation where now I'm constantly unhappy? And let's rewind a little bit while all this was going on, we were trying to have another child. Right. So, God first, imagine if I didn't find out, okay, and God, God forbid, she got pregnant from this guy.

All right, and you had no idea. You raised his baby. This would have been crazy. Yeah, thank God. Crazy, crazy, crazy. And she's, you know, she's like, oh, let's talk, let's talk. The first thing I said to her is that I'm not speaking to you until after you come back from the doctor and then know that you don't have anything. You know what I mean?

Right. I don't even like touching our child. Yeah, okay, right, of course. So you wanted to make sure she was clean. You wanted to also make sure she wasn't pregnant. I mean, did she cop, like, let me ask you this, because some people are so fucked up that even if you show them proof, like a picture of them fucking someone, they'll deny it.

Was she still trying to deny it or did she come clean? She still tried to deny it until I gave her the DVD days. And when she's right. And later on, like, you know, when we went by and she didn't, you know, she's like, oh, wow, that some blowjob. It was like two seconds. And that's the thing I had, the biggest, that's kind of what made my mind up. I'm like someone to say, wow, that some blowjob was like two seconds.

It didn't matter if his dick was in your mouth two seconds or two hours. Right. It's his dick was in your mouth. It still crossed that line. Yeah. Not only that. I mean, I don't remember. I'm sorry, but I don't know what friend told you to try and stick with it and

try to work it out, but I always felt from day one when you told me that story. I am sorry. When someone is that disrespectful, I mean, she basically backed you into a corner that to me, any real man would have no other choice than to leave the bitch because what man, unless you're a dickless, ballless, desperate loser, who would stay with a woman that blatantly blew a guy in front of his coworkers beneath him. You know what I mean? It would make you such a fucking loser. I'm sorry.

And I know that it's never right to sort of make big decisions coming from ego. No, no, no, no, no. It would, I see where you're coming from in regards to if it was just one on one. But, I mean, you don't have, I mean, you don't know this yet. But, you know, when a kid comes into play, you don't think like that. Right. You know what I mean? You would do anything for your kid over yourself.

For the betterment of the child. Right. So I, uh, that's why I entertained that, you know. And, you know, fuck it. You know, the greater good of my kid. Yeah. But I thought about it and thought about it and I said I couldn't get past it. So I filed for divorce and got served with pay.

She turned through with papers. And this is the sick part. So while I filed for divorce, I still had to live with this girl in our one-bedroom apartment with our kids. For seven months, I slept on the couch. I know. I don't know how you guys fucking do it.

No, no, no, no, no. Everybody would say, oh, man, you got to crazy. You got to get out of there. But there's two things. One, it can't give up, if I would have left my home, she would have a claim to it. Right. And that's, so you had to stand your ground. And I couldn't do that.

And it's part of my arrangement with my partner that I live there while maintaining the business and the building. So I had a legal obligation to be there. And two, you know, I have a new child. And it's my first and only kid. and I couldn't fathom not waking up and seeing him every day. Right. And now, and I slept on a couch, you know, and I went to work seven days a week.

I had to pay for everything, and I slept on a couch. And, like, I really went through a hard time there. And I was fucked up. I was really fucked up, mentally fucked up. and, you know, everyone's like, oh, well, you know,

stupid people try to give you advice. Oh, you know, you're the better, I'm like, dude, none of that shit works. When your marriage is over,

you have a new, you know, a newborn, and you're living on a couch, you just took every last dime you had in the world and threw it on the gambling table to open up a new business. You broke,

It was like, what the fuck? Right, you hit your bottom. That was the worst time of your life. Right. Yeah. And so, yeah, that was a, you know, coming up on. Listen, no one could tell you like any way to get out. The only way to get out of something like that is to go through it.

I mean, you just had to be miserable for as long as you were going to be miserable. And that's exactly. You know, I had cousins that were going, that went through divorce and everything. And that's what they say. You just got to go through it. Just put your head. down and just keep saying to you, this two shall pass. Exactly.

However long it takes, it's got to pass. You'll get over it. And finally, after seven months, when we went to court, the judge is like, why are you still living there? That's to the girl. Yeah. Not to me. Right. And he's such a, you know, they tried to come up with.

So anyway, I agreed. I rented her a nice place. He was like, oh, why are you going to get her a nice place? Because my child couldn't be there. You know what I mean? Of course. Of course. So how I rationalized with the whole theory of having to come up with all this money I didn't have,

I had to borrow from family members. I had to borrow from friends. It was just a bad spot. I mean, I'm still in it, but at least I have my apartment to myself. I'm how I sort it through and I said, whether my kid is, you know, his age now or he's 18 or 19, I'm renting him a beautiful apartment in Manhattan with 24-hour child care, you know? Right. So.

Oh, you're looking at her as a child care? Yeah. Okay. It's for a specific amount of time. It's not crazy long where I was always married for two and a half years. Yeah, it was a very quick thing. No, it seemed very quick to me. Ten-year marriage.

Right. where sometimes you could understand after 10 years. Not that you can understand, but sometimes... There's not a lot of settlement stuff and everything. And I don't have any assets because everything was put into my business. Right, but don't you also think, quick question, don't you also think, like, also that's kind of one of the reasons why you, like, got out? I mean, I think sometimes you hear of couples that have been with each other for, like, 10 years and someone cheats. And you kind of sometimes could understand it because when you're with someone for that long, you really go through different things.

and, you know, relationships can hit, like, tough patches, and maybe someone does the wrong thing and makes the wrong decision and has an affair. But if they come cleaner, they get caught and they want to stick together, it's one thing. But when you've been with someone for two years and they, like, fuck a guy on video in front of you, like, I mean, isn't it like, oh, you should probably want to get out now? You know, it's not like, doesn't that also play into it the fact that you're only together for two years? Yeah, but the journey just started.

That's what I was upset about. Journey just started. I didn't want my kid to be an only child. Yeah. I wanted to have as big as family as I could have. And that was a big let-out. I think that's really hard. Like, I mean, listen, you know, I've been there.

When I set out to do the baby thing, I set out to have a very different story. And there was a point in my story, and I'm not going to go into my story, but there was a point in my story where the rug was pulled from beneath me. And everything that I had set up and planned went out the fucking. window without me having any clue that that was going to happen. And I had to completely readjust. And there's nothing more devastating than that. But I have to say what I got out of it after I pulled myself together is that like, wow, it really makes you really feel in life that whatever comes your way, you could kind of handle it, right? Because when you've been that sort of fucked, right? And you could sort of get over it. There is a sense of like, wow, I could get over anything,

right? Because it really makes you realize that you are a survivor. And I think everyone has that in them. We all can survive anything. You know, we just have the biggest fear is that we won't be able to. And that's what everyone sort of stops themselves from doing things and from committing to things because they believe when those things failed, they're not going to be able to deal with it. But you know what? You dealt with it. You had a marriage. Your biggest fear was to have it all fail and to do what your father. And that happened to you. You had to face your biggest fear. But you're okay now. And I believe on some level your son will be better for it probably because I don't think that your relationship would have lasted long term with her anyway. And I think that you're a better person for it. She will eventually be too. And, you know, it all, it all just, what can you do? You know what I'm saying? But you're like, you could realize that you were at your lowest and you came through that and you have to feel a sense of like, wow, I'm like stronger than I thought I was, right? Because you dealt with the hardest thing that you could ever deal with. Does, do you have that? feeling at all?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know how many more of these types of shit. Well, I don't think they happen. I think they ever once or twice alive. Yeah. You know, it's like,

you do need time to heal before the next big life event comes up. Let me tell you. Yeah. Because it's been a lot on me. I've had a rough, you know, I had a really rough year

at a really, you know, difficult two years. But, you know, and this whole, my whole year leading up to this divorce was tough, you know. I lost my stepfather. Right, who was basically like your father, right, exactly. I mean, he was really your father.

So he was like losing your father. Right before the summer started, all right? I just started construction on my new business, which takes this toll on you. at the end of August I went to check on my best friend who wasn't answering his phone who lived a few blocks away to discover him murdered in his bathtub

Oh my God I can't even How come I don't remember that? That's horrible Then I Then a week after Two weeks after Christmas A good friend of mine From college in my fraternity

And I lived with him hung himself and I had to deal with that service and funeral and everything and then still doing my trying to get the business open and everything and the wife and kid

being out of the country in a way and then two months after that having my wife completely cheat on me right and not just that what that entails is now your whole marriage is over like that's the it was a very

very very very very very tough year for me. And if anything, like you said, you know, you can get through anything, whatever. If I learned anything about it, is what I could say is I used to feel guilty when I went on vacation. I was one of those people when I finally did take a break. I feel guilty about it or whatever. And now when I take a vacation or a break, turn my phone off.

I don't care. Like if you can't take that time, you know, my health. started going down, you know, stacked on a lot of pounds, but now I'm pulling through it. So do you think that it taught you to take better care of yourself? I mean, why do you feel like you had that shift that now you feel okay to take that time? Is it like, did it make you sort of focus on how to take better care of yourself? You need time to heal. And everything kept, every time something happened, it was like I didn't have enough time to heal from the previous incident.

you know what I mean? Right. So it was all stacking up. It was like, everything was being like machines on that. Right. And most people, I think it's a good to hear the stories because that's what most people do. Because you know what? When you're older and you have a life and you're an adult, like you almost feel like what

can you do? You can't crawl up under a ball, right? And just cry and give in to the shit that's up. Right. But you have to take care of business. But there is that fine balance between sort of still taking care of your adult life and waking up and doing what you have to do. But also taking the time to heal.

deal with the emotions that come up when you have when you're faced with them you know instead of swipping them under the level the only thing i could the only thing i can give is advice if you're going through something and you have like a whole bunch of tragedies like happened to me and in under a year um my new business saved my life it was a lot of stress but when i say it saved my life means that I focused on that. And it kept my mind occupied. Occupied. Occupied.

Sorry. I kept my mind occupied that I could just focus on this. It had nothing to do with anything else, my other business, my relationship, other people in my life. It was like I was alone doing this. And I just wrapped that around. around me like a blanket.

Yeah, you still had a sense of purpose and you, you follow that. But you still, like, that's a way of checking out. Like, I think everybody needs a little time as much as that you need time to heal. You also need time away from that pain. You can't just live in it 24-7. So I think it was good that you had a distraction. Yeah, I mean, because people, there's people who, you know, will go drink or fuck cookers or go nuts.

And, like, I did, you know, I wrap myself in that. But, you know, the problem is I put on, you know, I put on about like 30 pounds away. I have to admit, I got a lot of drunk phone calls from you in that time. You know, I put on 30 pounds away because I couldn't sleep. Right. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't, you know, I just, I wanted to just, you know, medicate, not medicate myself, but I just wanted to like.

You wanted to get away from the feelings. It doesn't feel good to feel bad. It feels terrible. And what we have to do is, I would go and have dinner down in Chinatown by myself at 3 o'clock in the morning. Right. And just eat, neat, neat, eat. And let me ask you this, Tommy, because I think it is really hard. I mean, like, you hear always, like, it's sort of like, not a given, but it's very common.

And it's unfortunately common. That men cheat and women get cheat on, and, like, we all sort of have been there. But when a man. That's funny that you say that. It's funny that you say that because with all the rules, that are in... Are you reading a text? It's the biggest cheating scumbag.

I'm treated the same. Even though with the divorce, all it is is formulas. It doesn't matter who cheated or who did what or anything like that. It's a no-fault state, meaning no one can be at fault. Even though she cheated, she destroyed the family, whatever. No, but I'm talking about like your feelings. I'm talking about your ego. I'm talking about how a man feels.

I think it's very, most men don't have to deal with that. My brother was cheated on by his wife. And I think there's like a little bit of an embarrassing thing for a man when he goes through that. More so than a woman, you know, on top of, listen, anyone's devastating when someone cheats, right? But a woman doesn't. Well, there is definitely a macho aspect. Yeah, right? I think so, for sure.

How does a man's ego do with that? So, yeah, I think I was so hurt, you know, just emotionally, and I was so drained from all the other events. I didn't have anything left in me to have that great. Yeah, I just, and that was, I guess, the benefits of having, you know, the problems. I just, I didn't have that much any more fight left in me. Okay, but let me just say this, because this is what I believe, and you might disagree with me, and that's cool. But this is what I believe, because I, I believe, because I, I know you before you met this girl.

I remember when you met her to date her. I remember when you got married. I know everything about everything. And I have to say, I do believe, and I said this from you for day one when you called me up and told me this horrific story, I was like better her than you. Because in a way, and I think it's because she was a lot younger than you and she just the way she's sort of wired. She was kind of like a petty girl that was on your shit about everything.

She was kind of a pain in the ass. She was one of those tit for tat kind of girls. Like, I did this. So now you have to do this. And it was like you guys didn't have like these huge incompatibility problems. But you were aggravated a lot of the time because she was kind of annoying. And I do believe that eventually 10 years from now, two years from now, four years from now, you would have probably cheated on her because she was a fucking pain in the ass.

And I do believe that if that ever happened, you would have been so much more fucked, okay, then if she cheated on you and I always felt like that was eventually going to happen I didn't think you were going to work out with this girl I really didn't because you were miserable she made you kind of miserable I would say I know that you had the picture in your head of like the relationship that

you wanted and I believe that that's available to you and out there but I don't believe that the picture in your head was what you actually got in reality you know and what you had in reality was going to blow up anyway and I always felt like for you I was so happy that she was the one that sabotaged him

because if it was vice versa, if you had done it, which could have eventually happened, she would have taken you to the fucking cleaners, okay? I know that you, you know, you would have been so much more fucked. She already took me to the cleaner. You would have been more fucked if you were the one that did it. All I have to say is that because your head was up high and her head was hanging low because she was the one that was busted.

You got out easier, even though it was brutal, you got out easier than if it happened the reverse, which it would have happened. You guys were destined to break up eventually because it kind of was one of those relationships that wasn't really working. I think, I know you really well. And I think that you have a real respect for strong women and older women, people, women that have their own life that aren't lazy, that maybe, you know, have their own careers and stuff. And sometimes it's hard for those women to meet guys. And I think that, you know, that kind of woman would probably be better suited for you and you'd have a better relationship for that.

This girl wasn't sort of that way. And you had a lot of issues with her, annoying, ridiculous issues that you shouldn't be dealing with at your age when you have a kid. She was a lot younger than you. And she just acted that way. So I just think that it would have failed anyway. That's what I believe. And I always felt that way. So I mean, it is, it is what it is.

I mean, everything has changed now. Yeah. Listen, I'm putting myself out there. Yeah. Okay. I know you want to get to the juice of it now. No, but because I was like, okay, so after that all happened, you started, yeah. So I'm back out there and, you know, I've gone to a bunch of dinner dates with some people.

I haven't screwed anybody. Can we talk about, though, how nice I really am? Could we just talk about that private moment when you called me up begging for fucking sex? And I was like, Tommy, I don't want to give you fish. I want to teach you how to fish. I'm not going to fuck you. I want to get you back. Okay.

Don't you remember? Maybe you don't remember because you called me, you tried to hit me up a lot after this happened for sex for companionship. Oh, okay. Okay. I know what I'm talking about. Okay. So I'm going to explain it.

So anyway. You would hit me up a lot of the times. You had kind of lost your game. Okay. And I was the only one in your phone. I talked about this in the beginning. You know, you had given up all your girls and shit.

And we stayed friends because we weren't fooling around anymore for years. Way before you even met her. We didn't stop because you got married. We hadn't been with each other for a very long time. Right. So I was the only bitch in your phone because we were just like straight up friends and you were like hitting me up for sex. And I was like not interested because I hadn't been, you know, been there done that. We're past that a long time ago. So I was like, no thanks. And you just, I was like, you know, what happened to Tommy? The Tommy that was on this podcast a while ago that talked about all the game that he had. I mean, you were the guy that fucked me when I was like never ever would I ever fuck you. You got me in bed.

and I always sort of gave you credit for that. I had no game. It was like, I was, you were a dickless man. You were, dickless. You would call me up begging for sex and there was nothing more

unattractive about that. And I was just like, please, Tommy, like I will, I want to help you get back out there and bang millions of bitches. Like, I want to help you get your game back. Like me fucking you isn't going to give you that big deal.

Like what you really need, I felt was like somebody to help you get back, that sense of being that guy that you are. so you could fully be you again and go out there and, you know, fuck a couple girls and eventually because I know you're a relationship guy and I would hope that you meet a good girl that you have a better relationship with and you could have that kind of thing that you have in your, you know, the picture in your head, you know, that you could have that.

But you need to get out there, you know. Not fuck me. I'm like a waste of your time. So I just want to give myself credit for being so nice to you and saying to you that I would help you go out and get other girls, tons of girls. So you could get back in the game and be who you are. get your dick back and you know and now you are and you told me the other day that you have like a new strategy with girls and I don't know if it's going to work but you say now you have like

nine girls lined up and you don't hit up any of them or something like your strategy is like don't pursue at all I gotta tell you there is a there is I haven't slept with anybody okay which is crazy because a lot of people like dude go out you're free blah blah blah you know I'm mentally not there yet and I'm happy that I didn't hook up with you or at anybody because I think it would have done more damage. Right. No, and that's what I think I said to you.

If you were my friend and you wanted to go out drinking and you're an alcoholic, I'm not going to drink with you. But I'll, you know what I mean? And that's what I felt. I knew that, like, having sex with you wasn't what you needed. And I'm your friend and I care about you. So, you know, I knew you needed to tie, like, you needed to get healthier within yourself first.

Well, I got, you know, I got after, you know, so March so in about three months it's going to be a year since this incident happened you know and I you know I just yes do I want to go out and

you know start hitting it again or there's some girls I would like absolutely I'm a fucking guy but the mental part of it you're not 100% there yet Yeah, and then the other thing is, where am I going to bring them? You know, I'm going to go. You bring them to your apartment.

You're single now. There's no one there. But I don't see my apartment as like my single bachelor apartment. Oh, because all your baby stuff is there. My kid stuff is. Wait, is that going to happen to me? You know, I'm having a baby in like five days. My surrogate is birth like this Sunday.

So is that going to happen to me like when I? Because I keep thinking like. Over time. I keep thinking like am I going to like want action like after or, you know, like being a mom like the most unsexy thing i don't know like will i want to be service called or like all that baby stuff is going to make me not horny like what are you saying it's not that it's just uh it's not i don't know it's it's the divorce seeing everything i feel like i'm i don't feel like i'm cheating on my wife i feel like i'm cheating on my kid right but maybe

tommy you know what maybe when like i said i really believe that when you hung your hat up with all those girls and being a player and everything, that I don't believe it was for your girl. I think it was just where you're at in your life and you were working towards that, you know, and acting out so that you could get to that point for you in your own life. And that's where you changed. You know, when you made a sharp turn in your life. And I don't think you could go back to that. It might not be, you may never be that other person. But I think that's great. Because I think the guy that's out fucking a million girls and having a double life and all that shit.

Like, I know that people think, oh, that's a normal guy, but I don't really think so. Not when it's to the extreme that you were doing and other guys do it. I think that that's somebody that's kind of fucked up and is no different than the girl that's really promiscuous. The problem with now is I'm much older. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the

audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it. in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read.

You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of

lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the last. link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone?

Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name and remember everything is strictly anonymous strictly anonymous