Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 158 - Host of the Manwhore Podcast and Kathy Debate

Episode Date: December 25, 2016

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Billy from the Manwhore podcast calls in again to share some more stories about his exes and winds up debating over a lot with Kathy. What do they argue/debate about? Who's right? Who's wrong? Tune in to find out plus hear all about his steamy relationship with his older, physical therapist, the time he kind raped by a one night stand, why hasn't he said I love you to his girlfriend yet and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or a title and you can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. Real problem.

Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Donuts podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Strict

Anonymous or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. I don't really tweet as much. A friend of mine asked me the other day, do you tweet anymore? Because I think I used to do really funny tweets, but I don't know, having a baby has made me, has just taken the edge off. I can't be as sarcastic anymore, but I do have a lot of new baby material. to say. That's where my sense of humor has gone into just making up jokes about fucking babies, because if you've ever had a baby, you know there's a lot of material there. But I just don't

tweet that stuff out because I don't know. I don't think a lot of people can relate. I don't know how I got on that topic. But what, oh yeah, if you want to follow me on Twitter, you can, but I don't really tweet that much. But you could read my old tweets. They were funny. If you want to be on the show, I'm always looking for callers. I send me an email at Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. I like to talk to all kinds of people with all kinds of problems or people who have interesting lifestyles or secret lifestyles, you know, all that kind of stuff. Today I have on a part two of a guy who is on my show before. He's not strictly anonymous on my show. He's, uh, I don't, he wasn't really a listener. What he is is a host of his own very successful podcast called the Manhor podcast.

It's a show where he talks to all of his exes about his sexual. And before I spoke with him, I was like, how many episodes can you get out of that? But then after I spoke with him, and you could hear a lot about this on his first episode on my show, I found out that this guy is really super open-minded and he's done a lot of really interesting things, sexually speaking, and he has hooked up with a lot of people. So he has a lot of interesting stuff going on on his show. He came on my show a second time because I thought I cock-blocked a lot of his SEX stories because that's what I do. I always try to go deep with people. people because I don't really care so much about the sex stories, but I think my listeners

probably do. So I was like, come back on and tell more stories, right? And we'll just focus on that. But that didn't happen. We get on a call and I don't know. I think maybe I put him on the defensive. Me and him are a little bit, if you've ever listened to that show with me and Joe DeRosa, that infamous argument I had with him, he tends to be maybe that kind of personality. We're like oil and water. We don't get along. and I don't think it's a I'm right, he's wrong, he's right, I'm wrong kind of a thing. I think it's a personality, like conflict kind of thing. I think we kind of clash. I think I insult him when I don't mean to insult him and I think he's defensive when he's just probably, you know, finds me rude.

But like I said, I don't think anyone's right or wrong. We're just different people. So we do argue a lot on this podcast. But I think it's interesting because, you know, whenever you listen to a good debate, sort of take your side. You know, you might think I'm a bitch or he's a baby or vice versa. You know, I don't know. I haven't edited the podcast yet and we taped it a while ago, but I do remember that we kind of fought about a couple things. But I like a good debate. I don't know that he did so much, but I still think it's an enjoyable podcast. We do get to some really good personal stories about him. I do still want to promote his podcast, which is really great. It's called the Man Hore podcast. I really appreciate him coming on my show. And I hope that not only him, but you

enjoy this episode. So I'll be right back on with Billy from the Man Hore podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, strictly anonymous wants to hear from you. us an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Okay, hey, welcome back to the strictly anonymous podcast, Mannhor. What are I calling you again? Billy, right? You're Billy from the Manhor podcast, Part two. Yes, I do have a, yeah, Billy works just fine. I don't go around the street

saying, call me Manhor. Do you say, hi, I'm Billy. But that is the name of your podcast. Like, where did you get? Was man whore like something that people called you beforehand? Or is it just something that you, when you were thinking of the title for your podcast? I mean, I think I've been called a manor like a couple times in like a cute, what they thought was a cute manner. It was just when I thought of when I was thinking of titles and something that would be, that would stand out amongst a list of fucking hundreds of thousands of podcasts.

Yeah, totally. It's a good name. And, you know, what you do on your podcast is you talk to your exes. right and by exes you don't just mean like to me exes are more so like people I had long-term relationships with but like your exes are anyone that you hooked up with right correct so like even if it was a great one-night stand or a horrible one-night stand right like you will have that person if there was a horrible one night stand yeah well that's what I figured because I know that when we first talked right if people didn't listen to the part one or they did what happened

was I like you know did what I normally do which is like I try to like to dig really deep But a lot of times I cock block a lot of the SEX stuff, right? Because I don't really, it's not like, even though my podcast is a lot about sex, like I have a lot of episodes, it's not really like what I care and that much about. Like, I just happen that those are the people that call me. And everything's interesting to me, right? So, but really I like to dig deep and I tried to go really deep with you and try to like psychoanalyze you. And I felt like I cock block some of your fun stories, you know?

And so I thought like, oh, I have you back on, right? We discusses at the end of the last podcast. I should have you back on to maybe give a little bit more to my listeners in the way of like your fun sex stories. But then I was thinking when we were going to have this call, like, how should we do? And I was like, maybe we do like the best of like. And this is a good way to promote your podcast, right? Because all the stuff that you're going to be talking about, people could go listen to your podcast, right? Do like the best of the worst of, the most interesting, the grossest, the hottest hookups, right?

And they're all episodes on your podcast, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, you kept trying to dig. I was like, you don't have to dig that hard. I'm pretty easy. I'm very open. Yeah, no, no, no, no. But when I dig, it's not too. I give it up easy. No, no, no, no, no. It's never to, because listen, because I put it out there that it's strictly anonymous. That's my podcast, right? So people come on here and they don't have to say who they really are anything. So it's very easy for me to get people to be honest. I don't dig for the truth. What I dig for is like putting things together and sort of figuring out things about somebody. that maybe they didn't sort of know about themselves or, you know, like, I like, I'm like a, I like the psychology behind things, right? So that's what I dig for. I know you're, you're a very open, you know, you're a millennial, you're 27. What I've been noticing myself just by having a lot people on my show is that the younger generations, like your generation and people even younger than you are like a much more open-minded than like older people, right? So a lot of people are

having these different kinds of relationships, like polyamory, open relationships. Like, it's not that uncommon anymore, right? In your age, like, I don't think it's totally common, but like it's not as uncommon as it was when I was growing up, right? As far as it's becoming more prevalent. I wouldn't call it common yet, but I would say it's definitely more prevalent. I think it's going through the same type of like awareness that say like, I don't know, LGBT people went through in the 60s and the 70s

where people are kind of confronted with that more often because people are feeling more comfortable being open about their sexuality and not being ashamed of it. I think we're going to another revolution of that now in the 2000s and today in 2016, soon to be 17. So yeah, you know, people are talking about these other things knowing that they can live life and fuck and date how

and who they want. Right. that are different than the typical way which was presented when I was growing up, which is like you either are single and you do whatever you want or you're in a relationship and you could only fuck that one person. And for me, like I never had relationships a lot of the times. It was like claustrophobic to me to think that I have to be with this one person and there is no end. You know what I mean and just that person and whatever. And I just wonder who I would be if I grew up in this generation where it was like more acceptable, right? Like what kind of avenues would I have gone down? Like for me I was just slutty, right? because that was like all you could be. That was the only other option. You could have been openly sluddy. You would have had to be closeted sluddy. I wasn't closetedly.

I was openly slutty. Oh, everybody knew. Everyone was like, yo, you all know, Kathy, you know, what a skank.

No, I wasn't a skank. I would just like sex and I had no, I was just who I was. Like, I just did what I did and that was it. Like, there was those 5%,

10% of women, you know, back then that did sleep around and whatever. And that was just what I did. And I did. didn't think anything was wrong with it, you know, but it was more like a guy mentality than a woman's mentality. I didn't have to be dating somebody to fuck them. Some of it was acting out, for sure. Some of it was because I have a very, I've always been very open minded sexually. And even

at a very young age, I just thought it was fine to have sex. Like, I didn't think I had to be in love, all that kind of whatever bullshit that is put on women. When did you lose your virginity? When I was like 15, I would have lost it at 12 if I could have figured out where the fucking Hull was okay like I couldn't wait to lose my virginity like seriously I would like read these grown up magazines and there would be these questions about sex and I would be so bummed out that I did it like I couldn't you know I wasn't a part of that whole thing you know so I were very early on was fooling around with this one guy and we were trying to have sex a bunch of times but it just didn't work somehow and then eventually I think I did it at 15 and it was a very it's a it's a first I wrote a book I did a like a cartoon book

about all my sort of relationships from the time I lost my virginity to the time I was 40 and I you know and a lot of funny stories are in there and my losing my virginity story is a great story. It's like I don't think anybody else has this losing a virginity

story and it's in my book it's really good. So I was 15 and that's when I lost it and then you know whatever I did whatever I felt like it. I didn't have a lot of relationships because like I said that whole monogamy thing and being in with one person didn't really work for me for a lot of reasons. One, it seemed claustrophobic because I'm

very free-spirited and two, I had issues I think with commitment because of like stuff that went on. So, you know, it wasn't for me. So I spent a lot of years mostly single. So I fucked a lot of guys. And I was open about it and I didn't. I wasn't like I said, no one thought I was a sking because I was always super smart too and stuff. But I like sex and big deal. And I don't know why I'm talking so much about me, but that was the whole thing is always I said this on my life. I'm just trying to dig to the real you. That's fine. I'm just trying to do psychology behind it.

Oh, I could tell you all my psychology. Trust me, I spent my whole life analyzing myself. Now I could analyze other people. The only reason why I can do it and I like to do it. But I always make jokes that if I was bored in this generation, maybe I'd be really prude because I just like to be opposite everybody, you know, so maybe that's why I was so sloddy. Because nobody else.

100%. Yeah. Totally rebellious. If everyone goes left, I go right. 100%. My father used to call me a little shit. That's what he called me. That's what he'd be like,

because I'm also a contrarian. I tend to go against the granny. But stop being a little shit, you know, exactly. Exactly. But what I find nowadays is, and that's why,

like, my book is out there and I slept with all these people and had all these crazy relationships. And I had, I tried to do open, really, all kinds of crazy relationships. There was no names for them,

though, when we were younger, you know, and I feel like it's, you know, my book is great to be out there now, because so many women are like that. It's the majority instead of the minority.

But when I was growing up living that life, I was the minority, you know? You, you know, listen. And so how I got on this thing is to talk about like how you, the lifestyle that you live. You're in a relationship. You have a relationship right now, but it's a very sort of progressive relationship.

You guys are open. You go to orgies. You do a lot of interesting things. And I think, like you said, it's not completely common. yet, but it's much more accepted, right? To the point where you put your name out there and people know this is what you do.

You know, it's not closeted, right? Because people are doing this stuff more and more and you have a whole, you have 138 episodes of like your hookups and I'm sure you have a lot more, right? Because how else can you keep going on? So why don't you start?

Tomorrow's with a woman who broke my heart like two years ago. Oh, well, I mean, we could go there. I mean, where do you want to start? We'll do the best of the worst, the grossest, the hottest. Where do you want to go? Which story do you want to tell? You tell me.

Let's see. I mean, tomorrow's episode with this woman who I was like sleeping with my physical therapist for a while. Okay, let's go there. Yeah, I messed up my shoulder because I am weak. I have a week back. Take that metaphorically if you want to or not. And I have a week packed.

I go to the physical therapist. ask me what I do. I think I'm a comedian. It slowly comes out that she, I was on a podcast that she listens to called Guys We Fuck. And I said, yeah, because I have my own podcast. Like, oh, she starts listening to it. Realizing how slutty and whatnot I am.

How old is she? And how old were you at the time? Was she like way older or no? At the time, I was, I guess I was 25. And how old was she? And I said, and she was 29. Okay, cool.

So somehow you take it out of the physical therapy place? So she asked if I wanted to go grab drinks, like, hang out. And I thought she meant socially because, like, I'm an idiot. And we go out to drink. And she looks damn good. And she dressed up. I'm like, oh, I really misread this one. Because by the end of the night, we ended up making out.

Like, I still had sessions to do. Like, I still needed to, like, my back was off this. It's like, that's great. We can hook up, but this shoulder needs work. Like, let's get to it. Right. Right. I mean, were you a little worried, though, that, like, if things went south,

like, you would lose your physical therapist, or did you not give a shit because she was so hot? So I was almost done with my session. And so we decided what, like, we had made out at the end of that night. And she's like, we're not going to go. We can start hooking up after you're done. And so we just have to, like, wait like a month. And then at the end of the month, we decided to, like, we had to wait, then we started fucking and that was great.

And it was great. That was the end of the sessions I had for insurance. I still got more sessions. Like I would go to the place that she worked at. And I would go like at the end of the night after she closes up. She'd give me some like three physical therapy. And then I'd give her some three physical therapy. You know?

In the office? Yeah, yeah. Because it was this big open thing and she was in charge there. Did she tell you that you were the only one? No. Like I've never done this. I've never had. I've never done this with any of my other patients.

With her patients, she said yes for patience. But I wouldn't doubt she's fucked up there before. It's very convenient and she's got the keys, you know. I also didn't really care. You know, my ear is tied to it. Right, right. No, but she broke your heart. Is this the one that broke your heart?

We were seeing it until it's like nine months. She was in an open relationship. Oh, my God. This is where it gets so confusing. Okay. So you're, this is, you weren't in a relationship at all, right?

At that point. So you're sleeping with her. You start to like, like say, hey, you're going to be my girlfriend. And she's like, okay,

you're going to be my second boyfriend. No, that wasn't the case at all. She was in an open relationship, uh, for like eight years. She's not, they were not Polly.

That, you know, that wasn't, uh, right. She wasn't supposed to like date other people. She was to just fuck people. but we really clicked and hit it off.

So, you know, we were essentially dating. Like, she was, the way I've always phrased it, she was emotionally cheating on her boyfriend. Mm-hmm. Right. She was allowed to physically be with you, but what you guys were having emotionally was probably, wouldn't be okay.

Did she- He knew about it and he wouldn't be had. And did she know that it was getting into, like, dangerous sort of territory? Yeah. But, like, and so what we discussed in the episode that comes out tomorrow is that, you know, she just was really scared to say, uh, I mean, for her, the whole thing was a learning experience of how to, you know, stopping such a wuss and just like speak up when

you know, you know, listen to your conscience. And for me, it was, uh, just got fucked over again. Uh, but it, it was good. Uh, by the end of it, we got some closure. I think I got some answers that I was looking for. And, uh, and, uh, and what were that? What did you not know? What did you not get in relationship that she had to sort of explain to you on that. What kind of closure did you not have? Well, I don't want to give away a whole stuff, but I don't want to give away the whole stuff. But I don't know the questions I was asking was like, did it hurt when you broke things

off? Like, were you hurt too? Oh, that's the stuff that everybody wants. Right. You just want to make sure that the person was like affected and like had real feelings and that they couldn't just, even though it seems like people walk away like and they don't feel anything. Yeah, if it was like three months of fucking whatever, but like, you know, it's nine

months, significant amount of time to be seeing the same person. I also have to like, hey, what did you consider us? Like, what were the emotions you were feeling? Things like that. And it's very fun because she was my first threesome. And here's something I will share. What I learned

was apparently, she has been having threesome with this girl with many of her men. So, like, I introduced her to this girl that I recruited from Reddit for a threesome with her. And it was going to be her first threesome, but by accident the night before, she had a

threesome with her boyfriend and one of his partners. Like, total fluke, not at all expected, right? Right. Like, we both thought we were going to have our first threesome together. And in the fluke instance, she had two back days. Right. So she did the threesome with her guy first and then did a threesome with you and then kept this girl.

Yeah, but I was just planning, like, it's scheduled it with the other girl. Within the thing where the boyfriend was like out of nowhere, like just it happened to happened that night. So we were just a girl Penny. Then I, she kind of asked, she was alluding to her

like later on and she was like, could I make, and I was like, do you want Penny's numbers that we asked? She said, yeah.

So I connect her with Penny. She has a three-tribal with Penny and her boyfriend. Then, apparently over the last two years, she's had multiple, she's had like other three-sum with this woman

and other guys. But basically like, their three-s-partners. She's like, hmm, this guy, I like fucking him. you know, who would like him a lot, my friend Penny. So call her over and me up three together.

I thought it's hilarious. But let me ask you this. Have you been used? Was that the only time you used Penny? Or have you been seeing Penny on the side too a lot? So I think about a couple weeks after we all fucked around. I tried to meet up with Penny again, who is also in an open relationship of like many years. It turns out.

She came over. you know, it wasn't, we tried the fuck. I was having trouble, like, getting hard because for me, I need to, like, talk to a person and know they like me. Here are the two ways I can have sex with somebody. There needs to... I need to know them.

I need to talk to them for, like, at least an hour. I just need to know that they like me for Billy, not just because I'm an objective dick that's hard. It needs to either be... If I need either go get drinks with you, or there needs to be, like, a scene. Okay.

So for the first time, it was fine, because we have like this scene plan and it was this um three somewhere she was coming over and Emily she was going to be blindfolded in my bedroom and she didn't know who I was bringing but she knew I was bringing somebody and that was an exciting like um construct yeah that's totally hot is that what went down yeah that's what went down so she doesn't know if I was bringing a guy a girl or a guy and a girl or two guys and two girls so wait but let's tell let's tell us tell that like hot story right because like so she so you decide behind her back that you're going to get this girl penned right not not behind the back we we agreed because that's all okay we consent uh okay

you obtain it you need to discuss it well i thought she was going to be blindfolded and not know yes but she agreed to not know it and then right right that's what i mean but behind her back you went and got the girl you it was a she said it's okay to be a woman a man a woman a woman a man like she gave you that okay but she didn't know which one you were going to pick that's what i yeah yeah we had the conversation about and i found out the family of what she wanted what she didn't want then i went and found someone of course i went and found a girl because look this is my first three so i'm going to have the one i want to have the one i want to have six and gang bangs okay i would like to have a double blow job for a change right so i get the girl i set emily up in the room

uh it was like a like a charity afternoon blind folder puts music on i set the moon low lighting whatever. Now, do you get her naked or she's got clothes on? Yes, I've stripped her naked and she's just blindfolded on the bed. Okay. And then, you know, what we decided is, I'm just going to leave her that. That's why I think. I'm going to let her, I'm going to let the anticipation build. Okay? So I leave her in that room for probably about like 15 minutes. Mm-hmm. A long amount of time. And in that time period,

at her, and then I agree with her, and I gave her a robe to go to the, bath and change. I want us to be able to basically do like a towel drop instead of like clunkily taking shit off. And then I just take this very, very pretty woman by the hand and I lead her to my bedroom and very quietly tiptoe it and close the door. And again, Emily now knows that we're here, whoever we are. Uh-huh. I remember I give, I give a penny a kiss before I ask to take off a rogue. I want I'm big on kids I'm a big fan of kissing like if I can't kiss you it's going to be really hard

to fuck you right and then I I just walk over there and we start touching her like just hands we want her to like not know right away you know we want her to still guess what genitals are in the room and how many right and then eventually

you know somebody goes down someone I kiss her and now we got you know dicks and pussy's all over the place and it's fantastic thing. I got, what was great was both of them had the same, uh, ask. They both asked that I direct things. Okay. It's not all my fancy. They just, they both leaned more submissive. So they just want some guidance and instruction in terms of like who to do what to whom. They enjoyed that aspect. It was cool. I got to fucking direct my own three. So he'd be like, okay, you go down. All right. All right. You sit on that

case. All right. Now you up here. Okay. Go see you. Dick in the mouth. Okay. Now come on. All right. You sit on it. You come so much. Okay, now you go down on her. I'm going to get behind you. It was awesome. Oh, my God. Yeah, I kind of imagine.

It's like every guy's fantasy. It really is, right? Yeah. So that was good. We all snuggle it up afterwards and it was a good time. And actually, so since talking to Emily, you know, I think like a year ago, Penny and I were supposed to get together and maybe pull around and plan

themselves through. And then after recording, Emily, I text her again, but like, hey, so apparently you're having all these threesomes with M. And she's like, hey, and yeah. Then I said, you want to get together and try to pick up where we left off? She's like, yeah, for sure. So we're going to get drinks sometime this month. You and Penny.

So do you think you'll have a threesome with her with your new girl? I don't know, maybe. Because my girlfriend's very bi. And just right currently, you know, my girlfriend and I are, she's got, let's see how the phrase this. One, we were just like, we were talking about stuff with our relationship and getting her to feel secure in it. So she still sometimes doesn't feel completely secure with the relationship.

And then we discussed that and the emotions and cool. And so I think we're in a good place with that. And then the other thing is that she's having a lower libido at the moment because she's on some new medications. And so, you know, like we might have a reason for her, but she also might not. The only three things I think that Paige is down the half with me or with her friends. She's not,

she's still not a place where she feels comfortable hearing about other women that she doesn't know. She's very fine here. She might be, she's afraid of maybe there's some sort, there could be some sort of emotional thing that happens, right? I'm assuming. And, and,

yeah, yeah, a little bit of that. And I think it's just because, I think that's going to change soon. But, you know, we've had some of a really significant.

conversations since then. But like, for example, if I fuck one of her best friends, she'd be so okay with that. But if it's like a random woman from Tinder, she doesn't want to know about it yet. But like I said, I think a lot of that stuff is changing right now. I would love the pitcher of Penny.

I think they'd have a grand old time together. Why do you think that she has that? So, uh, yeah, I'll share it. Okay. So Paige said, I love you back in,

like September and I didn't say it back yet was not in that place. How long were you dating at that point? We first met, we actually had our one year anniversary of meeting each other yesterday. And I personally say we've been dating since February. Okay, so you were together a significant amount of time by the time September comes that she says I love you. Yeah. And it's not that I don't have strong too. And she immediately was like, and it's okay. if you don't. I was like, okay. I mean, granted, we were on a rooftop at the time, and there was an orgy developing around us. We weren't naked, but like everyone else was getting naked, we were

just looking up at the stars. And you couldn't say it back. It wasn't, you know, it's like, I've been over the last year, for this whole year, I've been just trying to, like, figure out what love is to me, what my relationship, both to the feeling and to that word is. Are there, you know, I'm busy, On the Atlantic, are there different types of love? Do I feel different types of love? Is it different from infatuation? Because I was dating someone else briefly earlier this year who really broke me, and I felt like I loved her.

I'm not sure if it was that, which was infatuation. Or maybe it was a different type of love because the feelings I had for that woman were different from the strong feelings I had for Paige. They were both strong feelings, but they felt different. And what about with Emily, the girl who you say broke your heart, like, you know, your physical That was definitely a love thing for me. Yeah, I believe I loved her. Really? For sure.

Yeah, I think it's that amount of time. But let me ask you this with Emily, but I won't forget where we're at right now in the story, though, with your girlfriend, because I want to come back to that. But with the Emily thing, right? Like, because you knew she was in a relationship with somebody else, and she really had the only okay to,

like, I have sex with other people, but like you knew going in that there was to be nothing more than just maybe hookup. Right. Right. But do you think that... What happened was we were getting... We were just acting very dating.

Like she wasn't treating me the way that she was supposed to. Listen, that happens all the time. It's a typical thing that happens. With booty calls even. You know what I mean? No, one thing. Yeah, yeah. So we were getting like very lovely, duffy around the thing.

And... But it still wasn't supposed to mean anything because she's in this relationship. It happens all. the time. But yet, yeah, and yet it meant something for both of us. And what happened? You know, there's one particular scene that, where I let my emotion, here's what happened.

I normally I'll cut my emotions up, but I feel like I'm feeling something strong. They don't feel that way. I'll rein it in if it's early enough. But there was like a scene that happened. We had, we just says having sex. She rolls off me, breathe deeply, goes like, ah, man, I really wish I was Polly because I would totally date you. Mm-hmm.

But she says that. And I go like, okay, this woman feels something for me. So I'm going to allow myself to continue to feel stuff for her. Right. Because you and you love, that's the thing with you. Like, I mean, you love to know that the girl is into you. So when you get that from her, like, you can't just throw that aside. Like, I feel like that's something that's very attractive to you.

Well, there's that in that, like, it just, it reinforced. I'm like, oh, this is something that's going on. That wasn't just, like, a casual thing. her. So that made me feel comfortable feeling more. And, you know, and we talk about it on the podcast, which you all will be able to hear going to be episode 139. And, uh, yeah, yeah, that's what I got to say on Emily. No, but where I was going to go with that is that, like, do you think that maybe, right? Like, because she had sort of somebody else kind of like in the middle, like as much as you, you know, were okay to fall in love with her. On some level, you knew that, like, it couldn't be a

possibility because she had this other guy, right? It could be a little bit of like, oh, somebody with a commitment issue, of course, would find it very easy to feel loving feelings towards the person who they could on some level never be with, right? Yet with the girl you're with now, she's right in front of you she's totally yours she's like I she has nobody else she's like I'm fucking love you in September after being with you for a long time and you don't really know like that's all I'm saying that like maybe it's like a commitment thing no so it's not knowing because after what happened earlier this year uh it has added on to all this that they're you know heartbreak I've gone through is I I wanted to take a step back and and figure out what my

relationship to that emotion is. So I knew I had strong feelings for Paige. I was trying to figure out what that was. Was it love? Because it felt different from other things that I thought were love. So there's just a lot of me doing a lot of like introspection and analysis on myself.

And, you know, I'm at a place now where I do know what it is and I do love my girlfriend. And, you know, I just haven't said to it. I was going to say it last night. It wasn't the right opportunity. haven't told her.

I was good. I was planning on telling her last night. Let's count the months. September, October, November. Well, no, I only figured this out like yesterday was when I really Oh my God. Catch me an interesting time. Yesterday I decided like, you know, like I can say that confident.

Because she hasn't been able to figure it out. Yeah, no, I don't question her. Like I totally understand why she feels the way she does. But this is a process. I needed to go through. Yeah, no one's saying you're wrong. I'm just saying that like you could, you could understand that like if somebody's taking their time.

Yeah, I never want to question why she felt. Yeah, no, I totally understand. Totally get it. It's kind of like love is like, you know, listen, I think maybe one day when you look back, you're just going through something where you're really sort of fixated on it and analyzing and figuring it out. But eventually when you get used to it, like you'll realize it's something that just is, right? It's just like, you know, you're like, you know, it's not like it one day you just realize.

It just happens over time. And like, you know, when you hold it as this thing that's like very logical and like, oh, I just, I'm going to say, but I haven't said it yet. And, you know, it's, it takes away a little bit from it, right? And you could see why she would be a little insecure because she might be like, this guy doesn't fucking know what the fuck is up. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you don't even know anything like. Well, she knows I feel strongly about it. She just wants.

She needs to hear the words. I previously wouldn't feel comfortable. Now I do. Good. Just last night, you know, we didn't. Look, I was having her try out my new big motor bunny sex toy. Okay. So we,

I lost track of time. I got, I got sponsored by. Just tell her you love her already. Okay, so the. Yeah, no, I was going to. I said the time wasn't right. That just sounds hilarious.

Like, think about all the love songs. where, no, just think about, like, how funny it is if it was, like, you know how people write love songs all the time and everything? And if, like, you wrote a love song, like, I just, like, I wanted to say it, but I forgot and then it wasn't right. So I'll tell her tomorrow at four. Like, it's very unromantic is my point. Just, you know, say when you feel it, maybe.

Yeah, I know. That's what I was waiting for. I was waiting for, like, a moment where it's, like, it's definitely, you know. Also, I want to be a little bit funny. I'm good. I want my, at first, I love me, to be a little. Funny I don't want to be this deep, solemn, look into your eyes like, oh my gosh, baby. I know, but you don't get that.

It's almost just a thought about a little bit too much. Well, now, I mean, after all this time, yeah, if I can make it, I'm trying to see if I can find a funny way to do it on the first try because, you know, that's the fuckhead that I am. Yeah, you've made it. You know what it is? It's like you've made it such a big production. Now it's like this thing. Well, I never made a big production. To be fair, she made the big production.

But me, I kept my introspection to myself. Okay, but let's be fair, Billy Manhor, Billy, whose heart has been broken many times. Stop, stop, stop. You're losing out and all these orgies. I don't really care. We have plenty of time. We have a half hour.

Okay, listen, let me just, I never know where my podcast is going to go. And this is a great prelude to your episode 139 tomorrow, okay? So don't worry about it. It's still good. But, like, for the person who talks about the heart being broken and everything, like, you have a very romantic side of you, too. So, like, I think you could, you know, if the roles were reversed, you know, you're the guy that, like, when the girl, you just told me this very sort of romantic story about how when this girl you were fucking, like, rolled over and said, I could tell, you know, and that made you feel like you could like her. Like, you should, you are very similar to your girlfriend in that, like, you, like, she didn't make it a big deal.

She was just very open with her feelings and felt something in the moment. I think what made it a big deal is the fact that you weren't ready and you let your sort of fear of going with it, like get in and then you used your mind. Like you just threw your mind into that. And then it became like this thing that was disgust and thought about. And, you know, when normally that's not how it goes. And I think that you haven't lived your life that way most of the time. Like you said, you're just, this is just what you're going through right now. You know, normally you're the guy that will just, if someone, you know, you feel things and you go.

with it. You know, this is one time where you're kind of not. I think you're the one making it much bigger of a deal. I think she just felt it that moment, threw it out there, and you were like, holy fuck, got confused and afraid. And then you're just been overthinking it ever since. No, because even before she said it, I was already, ever since April, I think it was like April when this girl, this other girl broke my heart as well.

Oh, my God. Stop. Yeah. So what happened was ever since then, I've been thinking about that because it just kept happening. So I wanted to. Okay, but I'm sorry. I'm doing the math. You dating your girlfriend in February and a girl broke your heart in April and Emily broke.

I mean, what does that mean? What does what mean? You were dating your girlfriend in February. I know you have an open relationship. Is it Polly? Like you guys could be in love with other people? Well, at the time, you know, like in February, we had started dating, so we weren't boyfriend, girlfriend, yet. And this other woman I was also seeing seriously.

So, yeah, no one, I wasn't breaking any rules. Okay. So she, she broke your heart. So, yeah, you're probably just a little gun-shy because of all the damage that's been done. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. But that's what I said.

You have a little bit of a commitment issue, and that would be, make sense because you've been, you know, shafted by women. I wouldn't say commitment. It's just a matter of like, I'm going to be cautious for my sake and for pages' sake because I'd hate to say something I don't entirely understand the meaning of. And I'm in a place of my life where I just wanted to evaluate my thoughts on love because I've always been thinking about my thoughts on my sex and gender and kink and all that. But, you know, I haven't taken all the time to think about love. So that's what I've been doing for most of 2016.

And now I feel like I'm in a better place at the end of it. And you love Paige. Yeah. Good. Paige listen to this podcast. That'll be the first time she gets it. Not before I tell her. When does this come out?

Listen, it's like now that you've made it such a big deal, just write it on a post it. Just get it over with it. And then you could like be like normal. I'm not going to text there. Well, things are fairly normal except for, you know,

about, hey, I'm not going to say it's tied to it. But coincidentally, about once a month, we have a very emotional conversation. So there you go. So it is a thing. And she doesn't really trust you because of these kinds of things. Like you can't move forward with her. That's not true.

She trusts me. It's just different. She trusts me. It's just, you know, she just doesn't feel secure in the relationship. Those are very different sentences to say. She 100% trust me.

Okay, but when she says she doesn't trust the relationship, like she trusts you because you guys are open sexually. I never said any of those. I never said the word trust. I just said she doesn't feel secure in the relationship. Very different times. But you don't think it's the same thing? No, 100% different.

Security doesn't come from like trust? Like, don't you have to get past trust to get to security? One does not mean exactly the other. Okay. Not to you. It's secure in the relationship because she's worried like, you know, she's still worried of like, but what if he meets someone else?

I actually just wrote this great piece in the newsletter. Yeah, but that's trust. Okay, listen, I can't get into these like annoying fights. with you about semantics, okay? I don't want to move past. Okay, let's move past. It's like that's just a fucking play in words. And what we're talking about is exactly what I said,

but you don't want to go there. That's fine. So Emily breaks your heart. You, fuck her, that's your physical therapist. That's who you have on tomorrow. And that's like a hot story. But she broke your heart because obviously,

I guess I'm assuming she said, hey, I'm going back to my boyfriend and I can't keep sleeping with you because I'm starting to have feelings for you. Is that how it ended? No, we had brunch. They had a breakup brunch. Because it was just simply, she wanted to pull back on the emotional aspect of things.

She wanted to just go like, look, this is going in a direction that I can't continue to go down. And, you know, she's like, we can keep fucking. We can keep being friends. We can keep being friends and keep fucking. But she just didn't want to be so romantic. Right. Isn't that what I just said? She couldn't be emotional with you.

Like that wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. an ending, yeah, she was an ending thing. Right, but then did you say, okay, I can't be with you without that? I mean, how come it ended? Sorry, say that again? But did you say, okay, but like after she told you that

and there wasn't going to be no... Yeah, then I walked out. Right. I peered up, I said, I love you, and I walked out. You did? You said I love you? Yeah. Oh my God, I'm so fucking confused. I'm sorry, you're not as simple as you think you are, okay, but I'm not going to try to go there. Why? I've never claimed to be simple.

What I'm saying is, okay. So you say I love you to her after she dumps you and then you walked out. Oh, no wonder why I love you has such a, is such a thing with you. It's why. Okay, so, okay, she didn't dump you, but she was dumping you. We all know what dumping means. She dumped you. No, dumping means like, hey, we can't do it anymore.

No, she said I'll still fuck you, but I don't know. I can't like you. That's dumping. Okay. Everybody would say, listen, any guy, at most guys would say to a girl if they could when they dumped them. Like, listen, I don't love you anymore, baby,

but if you want to fuck me, I'll still fuck you. Like, I mean, if people could say that when they dump somebody because they had a relationship, then people would, but people don't say that, but that's also not what she did.

I know, I know it's more fun for you and simpler and easier to think of it that way, but that's not at all what she said. What did she say? What did she say? I said, she wanted to pull back on the romantic aspect. She wanted to stay very close.

She's like, we can keep fucking. We can say close friends. But if you listen to it, you'll hear her very much clarify to say, look, our friendship was way more important than the sex. The sex was dope.

I would like to keep doing it. But your friendship is super valuable to me, like beyond other things. Right, but the dumping is always the emotional stuff. I know you're from like an old garden, like you're 100 years old. And that's how we did back in the day. But that's not what we do in 2016, 17, 2015, whatever. 16, 16.

That's not what it was. First of all, you don't have to make digs. I think you're getting a little upset with me. Listen, okay. You can't spar. I tell you something that happens, and then you repeat it back to me way incorrectly in your simplified old school mindset. And then I have to like spend my time clarifying language at you.

Oh my God, it's annoying. Your language analysis is annoying. You're annoying. I'm annoying you. You're annoying me. We're not compatible, Billy. I'm sorry, but like, I can't do this. I can't do this.

Yeah, no, we should never have sex. Yeah, no, maybe not podcast. I'm thinking more podcasts, okay? Not sex. Listen to me, Billy, okay. You want to say she didn't dump you. Why did you walk out of the fucking restaurant? Because I was hurt.

What were you hurt by if she didn't dump you? What hurt you? Uh, because, you know, Sonny, it's such a look, if you want to say, hey, this is moving too fast emotionally, that's so valid. But that's like three months in. Okay, yeah, this is going in a direction I can't do. Nine months in is just irresponsible. And she acknowledges it. Oh, my God.

People are allowed to change their mind. That's what happens all the time. And they, that would be like saying that someone can't divorce somebody after 30 years. But she knows. She said, and she acknowledged, like I said, because I have more information in here. She said, I knew that I didn't feel that way months ago. I was too scared to tell you. So she waited and waited and waited and waited.

And that sounds like being like rejected. Okay, maybe that's the better word. Okay, you were rejected by her. That's terrible. That's just like being dumped. It's the same shit. That's why she broke your heart. Okay.

I don't know why you're trying to like say it so differently. And you're getting offended when I say a word that is meaning exactly what you know happened. You said she broke your heart. Why? How could someone break your heart unless they, they fucking dumped you. You didn't break up with her.

She sort of ended things. I'm not upset with it. Please. I could get a, I could fucking have a debate about a piece of lint on the floor. Okay. I have the energy for it. I love it.

Okay. You're the one that's taking like saying digs and stuff because you're getting very sort of, um, defensive. And I think you're very sensitive. And that's why you walked out when she told you very nicely that she just really cared about you.

She was like, cool, you know, but yet you. You, for you, it was devastating. You said, I love you when you walked out. Like, you're a very emotional, sensitive person. And I think when I say, she dumped you like that, you take it so offensively. But that's kind of what happened.

And maybe it's just too soon for you to cop to it. But who cares? Everybody gets fucking dumped. That's just like the way that it is. It doesn't matter that I'm older than you, 100. Okay, please. That fucking dumb. People your age, dumb people, okay?

All the fucking time. You have said on this podcast, your heart has been broken. Your heart has been broken like five times. Okay, so obviously you've had gotten dumped. What word would you rather use? What is the word that you use? I don't know why you're so obsessed with phrasing things that way, but, you know, only because you're very defensive about it.

That's it. I mean, for real. Like, honestly. Yeah, call it whatever you want. It makes you feel comfortable. What would you call it? Why did she break your heart? Why did she break your heart?

If you want to hear about, you can listen to the episode. I don't need to hear about it. I've heard enough. I heard it. Listen, I've been in those relationships. I've really cared for people. Love their friendship.

Loved fucking them. But maybe was it, you know, attached to someone. I know the whole fucking story. And it is, it doesn't take away from what you guys had or anything like that. But I could see those things in my life. I've had those kind of relationships. But I could look back and know that I got dumped by that person,

but still know that everything else still existed. It doesn't, one doesn't take away from the other. I just, I just think we're arguing semantics, which I don't think is a big deal. And I think we should move on from it because I think we're saying the same language.

So, so Emily is tomorrow. Anyone wants to hear about how he didn't get dumped by Emily. They could listen to Podcast 138. Let's hear your worst hookup and tell me what episode it is. Uh, honestly. And I mean, why would that person come on?

I don't know. But like a bad hookup, a terrible hook, like, you know, and like maybe you've had that on your show. You know what? How about this? I, well, yeah, they both tie in together. Okay. So I had one that, I wouldn't call it, like, the worst anything.

But it was definitely what I was not proud of. There's a, I met up with chick from a very obscure dating app. I tried for a hot minute called Blender. Mm-hmm. Okay. And it was like right before Tinder, blew up. And we met up.

I wasn't really into it when I saw her. I realized, I don't think I'm into her. We talk, we hang out. I'm like, okay,

maybe she's funny. Not really. We end up looking up. I don't know how I end up back with her at my place, but I was like, okay, you know,

I'll pull around with her. I don't have to have sex with her. I can just have a fun time just a night with her, do some stuff, but I won't talk there. And then that's fine. Because for me,

like other types of sex are low stakes. Penis in the vagina is like a higher state. thing for me. So we're doing things. She's like kind of badgering me like she wants to fuck. She's like, hey, please come on. Like, let's do this. And I'm doing funny. Like, you know, I'm going down. I'm fingering. I'm doing, she's getting hers, but she just really wants to get fucked. And eventually, I kind of give up and go like, fine. I grab a condom that sex is there. The next morning, I don't feel so great about it. Not a fan that I made that decision.

but it was a decision I made. Whatever. Kind of forget about it. About a year and a half later, she does the podcast. And I walked into her apartment. I set my stuff up. I'm doing my little pre-interview,

and at the very end, I go, is there anything you definitely want to talk about? She said, well, I definitely want to talk about what happened. And I've actually been thinking about it for a long time. I'm like, great. I turned my body to hit record.

Right before I hit it, I turned back to her, and she is in full fucking tears. Oh, wow. So she really didn't, like, the closure thing. Like, that's what she was getting out of being there. Like, she was looking for the same thing that you were looking for with Emily. Like, she obviously, even after all that time, like, had questions and stuff about the time you guys were together.

She had questions. I don't think it's anything that you're expecting. But she had questions, yes. I'm not expecting anything. I don't know anything. I'm telling you. Why was she in tears? Right.

I'm about to tell you. Okay. I don't hit record. I just wave. I get into human being mode. I go like, well, hold on, hold on, before we do that, what is going on? And she tells me, she said,

uh, you should have totally hit record. That's when you get the real shit. I would, you know, I'm also a human being and I wanted to cloud, because there was something important, uh,

and I'm not a douchebag. I was like, I just wanted to know what happened. And that we hit record. We get it all on Mike. You'll hear it. But I hate to know because I wasn't going to exploit this one. obvious pain about something, which I don't know what it is.

I don't know if, like, my being there, like, who knows? It could have been tried this. Anyway, maybe her dad just died. It would be something I would like to know before his number four. But anyway, I said, so what's going on? She says, I thought I raped you. I'm sorry. I mean, that's the first.

I mean, I really hope that you had that on tape. I thought I raped you? We thought we just. And she's crying about it. Well, so apparently she, maybe like six months after we hooked up, she dated a guy who had been raped by a woman. And she, and she saw, you know, she was on the people who said, no, men can't possibly be raped by women. And then she dates a guy who was, realizes the pain of it. I guess she flashed back to that night and thought that she had raped me.

And I had to quickly clarify, like, hey, I'm about here to record, but let me just clarify real quickly. You did not rape me. I be gredingly consented, but I consented nonetheless. That's what's important. Let's talk about this now. I hit the court and we get right into it. And then what I do to comfort her is I tell her about the night that a woman did not respect my consent or left thereof. And so you were raped by the other woman?

I had a night in college It was Somewhere after my junior year I was at I was hanging around the comedy club With another comedian He was hanging out I started talking this one woman outside

I thought she was Q I guess I was wrong But I thought she was Q at the time And by the end of it I went night She'd gone back down with her friend To the comedy show I wasn't on it

I was just hanging out But I went up to her table I snuck behind I just like dropped my my phone number on her table before I was leaving because I wasn't going to get to see her before the show let out. She texted me, we decided to get drinks and meet up

and we get drinks downtown. And it's going all right. You know, she's definitely not what exactly how I remember she looked like. I think a puffy jacket hides a whole lot of stuff. That was a revelation. Right. But it's fine.

It's going all right. I'm thinking like, I don't know if I want to touch with her. She's fun. I like fun. making out is fun, fooling around as fun. Okay, you know, I, when she invites me up to her apartment, I say, fine, like, in my head, I'm like, let's go have some fun. I don't have to talk there, but, like, let's go have some fun.

And before we leave the bar, though, I say, hey, so this is back when I had a direct rule. Now it's more of a guideline, but back then I had a rule where I wouldn't fuck anyone on first encounters. Allowed me to, like, pull around, and then I can, like, decide, okay, is this a person I want to have such So it's kind of want to affect with someone just because, like, I'm really horny and I'll talk anything in that moment. I'd rather it be, like, a conscious decision. I made, not like a decision made by my, made by my cop. And so I tell her this.

And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so fine. That's so fine. That's cool. That's all right. Yeah, come on up. She invites me up. And she's also significantly older. She's like, I am at the time of 20.

She's in their late 20s. So we get up to, we get up to a place, and, you know, it's going around, having a good time. We're making out. At one point, we're in her bed. We're all naked. And now we're on various janitors. It's a good time. And she does make a point that she, like, wants us back.

I'm like, no, no, thank you. I'm going to pass on tonight. We'll see you next time. And then at one point she comes up, and she's like making out with me because she was going to, she's blowing me. And then she comes up, so I was like kissing me again. And then just, like, grab my cock and just sit right down on it.

No condom. no asking for my approval, no nothing. Right. I had verbally even said no. There was no, like, assuming I was okay with it. Was she, like, drunk? No one would, I mean, like, we had drinks, but no one was drunk. I would not call anyone.

If she was drunk, then I couldn't tell. No one would, like, sloppy. But, so, I mean, she sits on me raw dogs, no condom, no consent. And then such writing. And this is the thing. like, and I'm like, excuse you, but she's like going to do that anyway. And most people would be like, well, Billy, man, you're like a man person. Why don't she to shove her off?

Well, here's the thing you don't, you don't think about. She was like a larger woman, you know, of a source, okay? Getting her off of her bed would have required like a good amount of force. I'm strong enough and capable. I could have forced her off. But the amount of force I wouldn't have to use very likely was going to like shove her off the bed, let alone my dick. Now, she, she comes off

that bed the wrong way, hits her head on the nightstand next to it. Guess who goes away in handcuffs? I'll give you a hint. It's the one with the penis. Right. So, I make the decision in my head, I'm like, I'm just going to let her literally ride this one out.

So, that happens. I'm not thrilled. And I kind of roll over and, like, I go to bed. The next morning, I slipped out. I did my best to slip out. Like, I almost got fully dressed for my buckle fucking. Just before

I went to my fistful in my pants on my buckle shook and it woke her up. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm like, I know, I'm getting out of here. You enjoy your rapy self in the bed. You know, just go back to sleep. I was, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm going to head out later. I slip out the door and

and then on my way to the subway, I texted her. I was like, hey, I don't really feel good about what happened last night. I didn't want to have sex. And she did not respond to that very well. What did she say? I don't remember exactly what she said.

Have you had her on your show? I would love to have her on the show, but I do not know how to reach her because I don't have a last name. And it's on a cell phone from when I was 20 that is long gone. Right, right. So I'm always on the lookout for Sarah El.

and I would love to come across her one day but I'd be it too so but I did come across her a couple months later maybe I was past me I was actually I was in a bar in the afternoon I met a couple older women they were 39 they were just meeting

they were just in town for like a girl's weekend from Philly and they they kind of invite one of them was kind of swings with her husband from time and time and the other one was like a little more straight race but used to swing doesn't anymore they invite me out that night.

They're like, oh, we want to know a way to go dancing. I'll go, yeah, I have a play. I'll go dancing with you also. I go to meet up with them

at a different bar later that night. And it's a bar above a comedy club. So, passing the comic club, they look in the window. I see comics I recognize. I was like,

oh, drop in, I'm good, just go say hi to stand, and then I'll go upstairs and meet the hot cougars. Well, I walked in the door

and standing right fucking there, talking to the owner, and I know the owner, but talking, the owner is this woman. Mm-hmm. And she's, uh, stopping him because she,

uh, I think there's a roommate or a friend who's a comedian and plays that club. Right. And as soon as I walk in, I see her, and she looks at me and she goes, she points to me,

goes, Tim, he says, I raped him. And I'm just like, okay. And I just, I'm going to leave.

Well, did you say that in your, when you texted her? Did you say that like, oh my God, you raped me or did she use that terminology first? She did. I never used the R word.

She did. I, for a long time, yeah, she was the first one to say it in reference to it ever. But yeah, that was not fun. So you were raped. Yeah. By an overweight girl. Ever reversed the genders at any point in that story and see if it's okay. And I think that's how you know that some consent was not respected.

Yeah, of course. Listen, I mean, that's the same. Like, I knew a guy that I had dated and he married someone after me. Then he came and told me that he was, like, beat up by the girl. Like, and I'm like, yeah. And then I had a guy in my podcast that talked about him. I'm like, you know, and he said, like, when he went to the cops to tell him, they were kind of like laughing at him or just not taking him seriously.

And I'm like, you have to probably understand that that's the way, like, but if you really, like you said, put it in the opposite way, like, how would you feel if that was a woman? Like shit like that does go down with men too. It's just so rare and it's that you don't, you know, that people might laugh. You know what I mean? Like I laughed when you said that the girl started crying because she thought she raped someone. Yeah, because she's the rapist. She didn't think you, she was raped.

She wasn't crying because she, you raped her. She was crying because she thought she raped you and she didn't even rape you. That's a little dramatic. Okay. It's not the same story as the girl who actually did start fucking you without a condom. I think that's bullshit. That's totally fucked up. You know what I mean?

Like I'd be really pissed. if I was like, you know, not wanting to have sex, let alone not be interested in having unsafe sex with someone and they just fucking put their dick inside me. You know what I mean? That's fucked up. But that girl,

I'm sorry, was crying because she was afraid that she raped you because she raped another guy or another guy got raped by somebody else. So I don't know, that's a little bit funny to me. Yeah, she didn't even rape with her dad.

She dated someone who had been. Right. And then she was crying, crying. crying. Yeah, because, you know, she felt guilty for like a year and a half because she felt guilty. I mean, I would imagine, look, if he took a guy,

if we lived in a society where like, let's say the act of rape, um, stop. You don't think that that's funny that she was crying? That this is a little ridiculous? I didn't think it was funny because I do. I do.

If I learned that something I did is not consensual, if she was my best friend and she started crying because she thought she raped someone because she dated somebody else that was raped and she didn't even rape someone and she was crying about it I would laugh in her face and as we've already noticed her in this podcast we are very different people come on that's funny that's ridiculous I don't think it's funny that the girl that fucked you that I think that's fucked up I'm talking about I'm talking about the podcast

I'm just saying that's got a fucking be daunting if you think that you feel that guilt for like over a year. But she didn't even. She was just projecting because some guy, but some guy. No, no, no, no. She, what happened? She started dating a guy. Yeah.

She was one of those people. I know. She dated a guy that was raped, not by her, by somebody else. Right? Right. But what happened? But it's a mind shift change. She was one of those people that you described who, you know, one of those people who said men can't get raped by women.

She used to think that. Then she met someone. I know. who did. Then she goes, oh, fuck, did I do that?

And then she thinks, did I cause the emotional distress on seeing my boyfriend go through? Did I call that to someone else? I can understand feeling guilty as fuck. But crying? How many years later at someone's house when you're going to do a podcast?

That's a little much. You've heard about like a guy who like, I don't know, was a drunk driver and then killed. Oh, please. Don't do. That's so different.

And killed like a kid by accident. Go to jail. You could not. But then finally goes to face the parents and say, holy shit. That is so, I would cry watching that. Stop it. That's not the same. That's not the same thing.

So don't compare those stories. The emotion. Her emotions are like dysfunctional. Her emotions are very odd. I think she was maybe had her period because it's a little bit. That's all I'm trying to say. Just to be crying and that is like actually bizarre. I would laugh because it's not like if, okay, like if I was writing a movie, right?

Like, seriously, like writing a movie and I wanted to ring true to my audience, I would not make her cry in that scenario in that scene. She wouldn't cry. Like, she'd be like, oh my God, did I rape you? Like, to make that person cry would be almost like a fucking comedy. I would write that in the part of the film if I wanted people to start laughing, okay? Because if she started crying, it would not make people feel for her. It would make people feel like that's a little emotionally, that's a little emotionally, that's

person that's either emotionally unstable or maybe on birth control and like is emotionally unstable or maybe has her a really bad period because at once a year a girl gets a period that's fucking awful. So maybe that was going on. But to cry for that reason when she didn't even rape someone because somebody else she dated rape like it's ridiculous. That's okay. And I love analyzing this.

Okay. I could talk about this shit for an hour if you don't, if you actually think that it is similar to somebody that kills somebody. Come on. I didn't even rape you. The emotion, it's the emotion. I know, but that emotion is like in, it's like, if you, okay, let me say this. If somebody, if you see a dog get hit by a car and someone starts laughing, wouldn't you think

that that's like an improper emotion for that scenario? That's all I'm saying. Her, her crying at your house. Her crying at your house before you said anything, you're over there to tape a podcast. Everything's all great and you turn your back and she's bawling. her eyes out. That is like an improper emotion. It's very, it's odd. I don't think so. I think crying when you

say, when you feel. You said, I thought, oh my God, what if her father died? Like, I thought something really terrible. I'm a human being. I was like, yeah, because I never would have expected her to think that she raped me. Right, because that was so ridiculous because it wasn't even a thing. That's, nah. I think when you feel

a men's skill, I think that's a reaction that's reasonable. No, I know. When you feel men's guilt and you get to face that person. I think she's a little bit of a nut job. Well, I think she's a nut job. Exactly. There you go.

No, no, no, you can make that analysis. She is a nut job, right? She's a nut job? She's a nut job? No, I don't cry. An inappropriate thing. She's a nut job? Exactly. No, okay. I'm sorry.

Approximately. I'm crazy. Okay, people, I love being crazy. There's nothing wrong with crazy. Crazy is a fucking good thing. But a nut job, no. My feet are on the fucking ground. Okay. Hers aren't. That's a fact. You know that. You know this girl. You can't put those together because you think it makes you judgmental or I don't even know, but it doesn't make you any nicer than me.

It doesn't make you any nicer than me, okay. No, I never claimed to be nice. I actually claim to self-identify as an asshole. Okay, well, then maybe you just are free to have your true feelings about her because you don't want to be more of an asshole. But it was ridiculous. She cried. And it was a great story, though. It's literally hilarious to me and it's funny.

I wouldn't listen to the episode Maybe I would listen to an episode What episode is it? Just to hear like her It's uh The title is I thought I raped you I don't know the episode number by heart

It was a while I mean that is kind of funny now No I just don't think so Maybe a different sense of humor Yeah I have a dark sense of humor I think that's funny I mean I love Doug Stanhope I feel like I get as dark as it can get

But hey I guess She didn't rape you know her. You're missing the point. She didn't reap you. She's crying. We both agree on that. And we just disagree on our emotions.

So how long did she cry for? I don't know. Go listen and time it. She cried on the podcast? That's a weird question. Wait, did she cry on the podcast even more? She was still in tears when I hit record. I just wanted to clarify what was going on.

Okay, but then, but like, let me just ask you this. For the rest of the podcast, did she start crying? again or did she keep it under control? Did she keep her, you know, did she stay calm? I guess it would depend. I mean, I don't know what things are allowed and not allowed to be cried about with you.

No, I'm just saying, did she cry anymore in that podcast, except in the beginning. You'll have to listen to the fight. I'm not going to listen. I'm not going to listen. Did she cry yes or no? I did.

I get tagged you. She did. She did. She fucking did. No, I was once in a car with my friend and one of his ex-girlfriends called. And I always begged her to be like a nut job. And he's like, no, she's not crazy.

And she calls up and he's got her on speakerphone. And she's like crying hysterically because her medication isn't working and she feels pain in her leg. And then two seconds later, she's talking completely normal and laughing and then hysterically crying and then talking normal. And then I'm like, I'm sorry, but I can't feel for that person. Like that's not even real crying. Like that person is a crazy person. Like, and it's the same thing. Like I said, if you saw that scene in a movie and someone that cries and then two seconds later,

talking like that's not real crying like I don't have empathy for that not because I'm a terrible person but because it's not like real emotions it's like a crazy person do you know what I'm saying I think that the girl is a little bit of a nut job and I think it's funny that she cried and I stand by it and I like the story because it's we have had two really good debates we're at an hour and I always wrap it up and I love this episode I don't know if they were good to be they're good to they're good debates because you want to know what people will either side with you or side with me. Most of your listeners will side with you and be like, oh, that girl was such a fucking cunt. Why did you even talk to her? Most of my epist, my fans will probably be like,

oh, he was so fucking wrong. You're right. And then a lot of people that have their own brains will think for themselves and be like, you were wrong. He was right. But I love a good debate when, you know, that people could take a different side. I know, I like, I think a good debate is when both sides make good arguments. I think that makes a good debate. Okay, well, you're, but so that's a dig. You're saying I didn't make a good argument. I think you made a good argument. I think you made a good argument for you. I think you did. I think you took your own stand and you were very firm. I like conviction, whether you agree with what I agree or not. I like that you stood firm in your fucking beliefs. I think it's a cheap shot. Stop. Don't interrupt me. Okay, stop. No. Oh, God,

I'm not getting into politics. You're just, you're cutting me off. You're cutting me off. So I think a good debate is this. It's like, what's good is for the listeners. It's not for me and you. I don't need to change the way you think. You don't can't change the way I think. We're both were two people that you said you're just like me. You're rebellious. You're like an outlier. You do your own thing. So we're two strong personality types, right? I'm probably not going to change your mind. You're not going to, there's probably a million things we could agree on. But we happen to talk about things that we didn't agree on. And that's fucking great. And what's great to me is that people listening will either feel strongly one way or another because we were very opposed. You got a little mean.

I got annoyed with you. I think that's interesting shit. And like I said, some people will be like, oh, my God, Cathy's a fucking asshole. And some people would be like, that guy's a stupid douchebag. Like, who knows? You know what I mean? But I think that's a good debate.

What did you say you think a good debate is when two people change? No, no, when the both sides make good arguments. Oh, right. You took a dig. I'm 100. These are the digs. Okay, wait. I'm 100.

I'm in a different. I love when young people make. digs that people that are older than them as if like you're never going to be old. Like I mean, it's not like old is like not, why is that a bad thing? Like that's everyone's going to be old. It's like it doesn't even, it doesn't, I don't even understand what the dig is, but you made some digs and that's another dig. And that's where to me you lose a debate when you have to like cut below the belt.

It shows weakness. I'm just going to give you that as like a suggestion when you're debating in the future. Yeah, advice. Yeah, to me that shows that you're weak. You don't need to cut me down to sort of to win a debate. Like just stand your ground, which you did. And I respect that. I like conviction, like I said.

I have it. And like I said, with conviction, you know, that's why Trump won. He had no facts or really anything to back up his claim. I have facts. We're not, don't compare me to fucking Trump. Stop it. I guess I'll go for that guy instead of the same woman. Stop.

Oh my God. Stop. I'm not going to get into politics. I'm sure anybody that knows me and listen to my fucking podcast knows who I voted for and who I didn't vote for and could assume. I'm just saying that your attitude

towards debating is the same as the people who voted for the crazy man is I care more what he sounded like in the act of conviction. I don't really care if he was backed up by anything substantial, but hey, you know, he said it. But you're just so, but that's,

you're saying that by, under the assumption that nothing I said had anything to back it up, okay? Considering I am 100, I have life experience to back up my shit and you have life experience to back up your shit. That's it. I'm allowed to make a, I'm very, like, listen, being opinionated to me is not a bad thing, okay? I think it's like a great thing. It means that you have a mind of your own and you have an imagination and you're a free thinker.

I am extremely opinionated. I can make opinions about you. We're having a talk. I'm allowed to say that I don't fucking agree. I'm allowed to say that I think that girl's ridiculous. And I think I'm right. Of course I think I'm right. Or why else would I be saying it? Same for you. And that's That is a good debate. That doesn't mean that I don't have any. I'm not just saying words like you're just like a Donald Trump like, oh, fantastic, great. I had shit to back it up. Okay, don't fucking put my shit down.

Okay, that that's a fucking debate. And we had a good debate and that's it. End a story. It was okay. You want to take a dig? That, like I said, shows your weakness. And you shouldn't be weak. You don't need to take digs to win an argument.

There's no winning here. We have a difference of opinions. It's not going to change either one. And that's okay. That's good. I don't, that's fucking fine. Don't you think?

You need, you need for me to change minds. What? No, I wasn't trying to change your mind. I was just saying I very much disagree with what you said. And I just didn't think anything you said was really backed up. It's weird.

So whatever. Okay. I think I'm weak. I think my weakness is. shown in my hair line, but no one wants to point it out. What, you're losing hair? That's the best. Yeah, but no one wants to point out.

I would tell you if I saw you. Strong, my hairlines weak. Oh, are you? If you're losing your hair and I saw you, I would, I would have no problem telling you. I mean, you should get into roast battles. To roasts? What do you mean? You should get into roast battles.

What do you mean? The things that the convenience do? Yeah, the roast battles are. kind of like they just insult each other with jokes. No, listen, I think it's, I'm, listen, I am motivated by insults. Okay, I had an argue with a friend yesterday because I told him he was fat. And he is fat. And, like, he got really upset, but I motivated personally by insult.

So when somebody gives me an insult that is true about me, excuse me, no, that is true about me. I'm talking about me. When somebody insults me, if someone told me I had bad breath, I would be like, oh, my God, thank you. And I would go get my teeth cleaned, okay? I would not get upset. It's just the way in which you do it.

Oh, yeah, and I say, but people always are very grateful for me for being very honest to people. I've told my friends that they need to wait in their teeth. If you had a receding hair line and you'd look much more handsome with more hair, I would tell you that. Or I'd say shave your head. You look hop bald. And so I don't say it in a mean way. I just, I think, though, telling the truth to people is not anything bad. And there's nothing weak about that.

I would tell somebody not because I like making fun of people because I like to help people. Do you understand? It's a difference. So you're not weak. You don't need to, when you're doing a debate to keep above board, don't take the cheap shots. That's it. That's where you lose. That's where you lose me a little bit where I'm like, eh, that's a little weak.

Everything else, I could respect you that you believe. what you believe. Because I feel the same way. Do you understand? Yeah. Okay. Sorry that you're not, you don't have any closure.

No, I'm doing all right. I know I didn't break your heart, but I might have irritated you. But, you know, if you need closure, we could do a part three, but I think it would just be

as more arguing. So anyway, I don't know what I'm going to title this, when I'm going to air it. I have somebody coming on my podcast. You have an episode about it. I have a girl I'm taping this week. you have an episode number 126.

It's called, and I can't even say what this is about because it is a girl with the most interesting fetish I've ever, I didn't, I didn't even know existed. You talk about it, like I said, on your episode 126. This girl lives it, and I'm going to talk to her this week. So I might be airing her podcast first, but, you know. Oh, the fart stuff, farts, shames and fantasy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, with Kelsey Obsession.

Yeah, yeah, she actually just had a baby. Yeah. Yeah, the fart fetish or is it like a different body fetish? It's a fart fetish. So you'll probably be airing this after that episode airs anyway because I'll probably post that as soon as I, you know, do it. But yeah, that's what it is. I couldn't believe. It's just like fascinating to me.

This is like a hardcore. Like it's the only way she could come. So I don't know when I'm going to post this, but why don't you do, why don't you just plug your stuff, right? Emily, the girl that we talked about that broke his heart, but not that she dumped him, but she broke his heart is episode 139. and you could listen to it. That's a hot story. I mean, she was your physical therapist

and then you had all kinds of like really great sex with her. Yeah. And then... A lot of good stuff there. There's a lot of other good episodes there. You can find the Manor podcast on like iTunes, Spotify,

Iheart radio, wherever you like to listen to the podcast. That is in SoundCloud. And you can also find me on Twitter at the Billy Presida. And you can like the Manorpod and cast on Facebook, manhorpod.com,

really for all this stuff. Okay, cool. Thank you for being on. I hope that you. don't take anything personally and like you're not mad at me no not at all not at all okay good and maybe listen back to it because it probably won't seem as bad when you listen back it'll be probably more enjoyable like you'll see more the enjoyment aspect of it okay i'll let you know what until then i'm going to get back to like you know my gay musical music is that where i put you off you

know just so you know listeners before we got on the call he told me he was listening to what was it What video? I was listening to In the Heights, then I was listening to rent. Right, and I was like, oh, musical music? Like, I'd rather kill myself. Is that where I got you

on the defense? No, not fair. Not where you said you didn't like musicals. That's fine. You don't have to, like, show tunes. When you were kind of like, you just lay on a pair of like how you had to be like, a little girl.

A little girl. Or a queen. Yeah. Somehow. I just buy your stereotype. I just say it to be funny. I mean, listen, I, you know. But that's not, but like, it's funny.

It's fine to do like gay jokes or whatever, but like, be funny. Like craft a joke. Don't just like, get it. I don't need to craft a joke. I don't craft shit. It just comes in my head and out my mouth. I can't craft stuff. Maybe it wasn't funny to you.

Yeah. It was funny to me. I think it's funny to you and many trump voters. Oh, my God. Oh my God. We all know. Okay, you're one of those people on Facebook like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like shoving your opinions about the shit that you think down other people's throats. Who cares? Trump. Trump. I didn't make any Facebook post like that. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry about the dig at musicals, but I have to go on record. And I think a lot of my listeners will agree. Musical music is awful. Okay. I hate it. That's fine to do. It's just you were like one step away. from saying musicals are for fags, bro. I'd be like, okay, come on now.

You're like one step away. I said, it's okay. Like, okay, I can't. I wish I was taping. Like I said, I ignore. Someone taught me when I was taught how to do a podcast very early on. He said, Kathy, don't ever, I'm taping now. He said, no, I wasn't taping with the rent stuff, with the musical, like to get it all.

He said, don't ever start talking to anyone until you press record. And he's right because you, like, we're, now talking about something that I didn't press record, so I don't even remember. But I'm sorry, you know, you're not gay for liking musicals. I didn't think I was. It's okay. Okay, good. All right.

So thank you so much for calling back in. Manor, Billy. Let me know when it's up and everything. I will. I'll send you an email. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

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