Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 1607 - Robert Is Married But Hooks Up With Couples, Subs He Meets on FetLife & More

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

Robert is married but hooks up with couples, subs he meets on FetLife and more, and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when he found out both of his parents cheated on each other, how he met his wife and how and when sex went out the window, the first time he cheated on his wife and how he felt about it, the sub he met on FetLife next and what went down between them, the mom in his neighborhood he started sleeping with and how and why he put the brakes on it even though he had fallen for her, how and why he came clean about being on Ashley Madison, how his wife reacted and how soon after he started cheating again, how he wound up as a bull for a cuckold couple and then another cuckold couple too, how and why he continues to stay with his wife even though they haven’t had sex in over 10 years, the conversations they’ve had and the things they’ve tried together and separately to fix their marriage and why none of it has worked, why they don’t talk about sex anymore, how and why his cheating has slowed down and why he hasn’t cheated in a while, plus a whole lot more. GET A COPY OF THE STRICTLY ANONYMOUS BOOK! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY HERE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠http://DipseaStories.com/STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get first week FREE then 25% off ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://Loadboost.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- To get 10% off LOAD BOOST by VB Health, use code: STRICTLY   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Buy 2 months of Bluechew GOLD and get the third month FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beduc.at/pd2634-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click here to take the quiz and  get your personalized SUMMER roadmap to sexual happiness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://inda.shop/STRICTLY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @IndaCloud with code STRICTLY #indacloud Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ X  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees can grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Welcome to the Strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond.

You go to Singapore, a high ad. You can't do it. It's just too much. Is your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change.

Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because they change everyone's voices. names, okay? So if you have an interesting secret naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous if you're out and proud, you can email me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show. Now listen, if you have a naughty confession, you want to leave on my confessions

line. You could do that 247. The number is 347.4-4-203579. That's 347-4-203579. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go on to my Patreon. Now my Patreon is super fun and it's very inexpensive if you ask me. It's only $7 a month and you get every single episode. I do seven episodes a week. You get every single one of them early before anyone gets them as well as intro and ad free. You also get all the confessions as well as you get anonymous picks of probably every single girl that has called into my show. Every single female guest. I got pictures of them over on my Patreon. like I said at $7 a month.

The link to Patreon is in the description. If you do sign up for my Patreon or buy my books, strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers in Paperback or Ebook or audiobook version, the links are all in the description. I will also give you access to my private Discord. Like I said, if you join my Patreon,

or if you call into my show, or if you buy my book, I will give complimentary access to my private discords. I promise you, will not be disappointed. My discord is full of great effing people. Okay. So if you buy my book, send me a screenshot of your purchase and I will send you the link. The last thing I'm going to tell you about is if you want to sign up for SDC.com, I do have a free trial for my listeners. SDC is like the world's largest online dating website and it's not just a place where you could

hook up with people. You could learn all about the lifestyle. You could find out about all the lifestyle events and meetups and all kinds of things going on in your neighborhood, as well as if you're going to travel and you want to have a little fun, you're going to find it all on SDC.com. Like I said, you get a free trial if you use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link that's 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. Okay, today I have on Robert. I feel like people are going to think I gave Robert a little bit of a hard time because he is a massive cheater. and he is like one of the worst kinds of cheaters.

This is, oh my God, his cheating just gets out of control if he asks me. And then his reasoning for cheating and then not cheating and then not leaving but wanting to leave and the issues he has with his wife, like it gets a little confusing and there's a lot of stuff going down. And there typically is when cheating is concerned. It's not that his story is so different than other people's story. This is a very common cheating story in that he's. with, you know, he married his wife. He's been with her for almost 30 years. Sex went out the window

and not just sex, like everything went out the window. And he talks about that. And then, you know, when all of that stuff did go out the window and he tried to talk about it and everything like, this is the story. Bring it up. You try to talk about it. The other person, whether it's a man or the woman, this happens on both sides. You know, they, they shut you down. And eventually, you know, somebody comes around and there's an opportunity to get some of that intimacy that you're lacking. And that's what happened to him and he took it. And then after he took it, I mean, he just took it. Okay. That's what's interesting about him. Like he just, once it started, it never stopped. He didn't feel right about it at first. He talks about that. And then he started cheating. And he did a lot of

cheating. And he went into FetLife and he had people at work and his wife's friends and people on when he was deployed and, you know, cuck scenarios with couples. I mean, you name it. He's sort done it behind his wife back. There was a time where he got caught. he talks about it. It's an interesting story because it's not like he got caught. He kind of like admitted it and you'll get that whole story. You might think I'm like hard on him like I said because I just don't get sometimes why people do stay in these kinds of relationships because once you get to the end and you're like, they haven't fucked for so long and all the details. You kind of are like what's going on here. But he does have an exit plan and we talk all about it. It's a super interesting

story if you want to get in the head of somebody that's in this kind of relationship. And I think a lot of people are. It's not, like I said, uncommon. It's very typical. He's just a little bit more extreme and is cheating, but the situation and the reasoning for being in a very sexless marriage for so long is to me what's common. I've heard it many times before. But anyway, his story is super interesting. I'm going to be right back on with Robert. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Hey, Robert. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good, Kathy. Thank you for everyone for talking to me today. Well, you kind of have a little crazy story because you are in the lifestyle,

but you also like, you know, you're hitting two boxes of people who call into my show. You know, I have people who are in the lifestyle on my show and then I have people who are cheaters on my show. And you happen to be in the lifestyle behind your wife's back, which is kind of crazy. You know what I mean? A lot of times I don't have those two things combined in one story. But what I always like, especially with people who are going behind their partners back. I like to get the whole story. You know what led up to it, why you're doing it,

all that kind of good stuff. Absolutely. Yeah, because I think that that's so important before we judge anybody, right? Every cheater story is different. I feel like there's like on one end of the spectrum. There's the totally monogamous person who would never cheat

and then on the other end. There's the philander. And then there's like lots of different, you know, degrees of cheaters in between. So I don't know who what you are, you know, But I know that you worked your way into being in the lifestyle behind your waist back.

So let's get to it. First of all, how long have you been with your wife at this point, Robert? Over 27 years. Okay, great. And how was the sex in your 27 years? Like, not what it was, like, right before you stepped out, but, like, you know, basically the whole time, like, what would you say? Well, let me start by just, you know, quick background on me.

I grew up really quick. I lost my virginity at 12. Okay. I mean, on your own free will? On my own free will, yes. Okay. And where I come from a, you know, smaller town in the Midwest. And when I was in junior high, I was basically, you know, I had a different girlfriend every month.

And, you know, I typed that up as being, having great game or, you know, having a big talk or, you know, having a big talk or, or something. something like that. But at the end of the day, fast forward, it turned out I was, I was an entitled little rich kid. And when I was cut off by my dad, I entered the military. That straightened me completely up. And if I were to do my life over again, I would definitely do that. Yeah, interesting, right? I mean, I could see why something like that would work with someone that's very wayward and needs a fucking kick in the ass, right? Yeah. Yeah. And both my parents, both my parents were, They both cheated on each other. My mom actually admitted it.

My dad still to this day not admit it. But I grew up in a family that, you know, money didn't solve anything. So anyway, so after the military, I need to ask you a couple of questions, though, about the cheating with the mom and the dad. How old were you? And why did you know that this was going down? Like, how did you find out all of this stuff? And you know what I mean? Well, they both.

started screwing around on each other when I was about 10. They split up when I was around the same time I lost my virginity. So about two years. Okay, but how did you get wind at 10 that, you know, there's all this cheating going down? I mean, I could understand that they're separating and they're having issues, but how do you know specifically that your mom cheated, your dad cheated? Actually, at the time I didn't. It was not until I was about 35.

I was on a phone with my son. I was actually overseas and I was on the phone with my sister. And, you know, she just casually drops, well, you know, when mom cheated on dad. And it kind of threw me back in any way. I learned the whole story then. Yeah. Okay. Because I wouldn't think that you would know at 10, you know, those kinds of details.

You know what I mean? No, no. Absolutely not. But listen, I would say, though, and the reason why I wanted to know, because, you know, sometimes little kids do know that there's a fucking philanderer in the house or somebody, And a lot of times that kind of information can sort of get filed and then that child can go live that same life. You know what I mean? And kind of do it.

So that's why I want to know. Like, was that in your brain when you were little? Not so much, right? You didn't know about the cheating when you were little, though that's why they ended. Maybe it was in your genes. It might be. But I was also from a very young age. Yeah.

neighbor had, you know, American triple ecstasy. You know, they used to get penthouse, all that stuff. His mom, you know, I remember at five years old, his mom used to walk around a house naked, you know, it was one of those where there was a lot of pornography. And we're talking, you know, because I'm in my early 50s, so we're talking to late 70s. Yeah. And pornography means like magazines. Oh, yeah.

And unless you had a satellite dish, like he did. Oh. You weren't, you weren't seeing hardcore porn, but we were. You know, and of course, you know, back then you didn't have the parental blocks and all that stuff. You basically just had a key and we knew it. Anyway, so fast forward, I go through the military and I spend a year overseas and I came back and I ran into one of my old girlfriends from my kind of hopping around screwing everybody days in high school. And I sat down with her and I, and the first thing I did, I said, you know, I got to apologize for how it was, you know. And because it really hit me, you know, after, you know, learning how to be a man and, you know, learning how to,

you know, be present in the moment. I apologize. And she started laughing at me. And I said, well, why are you laughing? She said, you never got it, did you? And I said, no. She said, you know, you got passed around because you were the only boy in our class and knew what he was doing. So I found out at that point that it wasn't me. It was, I was a complete, like, horror for them. I was teaching them things that they would, you know, go on and use on other people. I mean, I was the kid that was sneaking in your window. Like, you feel like you saw it as you were using them, but now it was weird because you saw it as they were using you.

Maybe you were both using each other. Yeah, well, the tables got turned on me hardcore when she admitted that, you know, when she told me that. And I mean, because you never thought for a second that they had needs. It's interesting. You would never assume that they're doing that too. just like you're only thinking about yourself. You know what I mean?

No, no. And you're talking about a, you know, a very misogynistic time in the United States. Yeah, it's interesting. But it is very human being nature. You know what I mean? It is kind of interesting that you'd never think for a fucking second that they're like real people too that have needs. Exactly. And I will say this, though, I am friends.

I'm still friends with all of them. Yeah. Yeah, just because that's one thing that I can't really deal with is I can't. I can't. fan of people disliking me, you know, which is why it was kind of hard to decide to send you the email and call in and everything. Go forward. So go forward and I started dating my wife. I dated my wife for about two years. It was a, it was a kind of a matchmaking event between a mutual friend. I was, you know, I was in the military. I'm not going to say with which branch because a lot of what

I'm going to say is probably going to narrow it down to a very small pool of people. But, you know, We would see each other. And when she first met me, couldn't stand me. But then, you know, she kind of got into my stuff and we started dating. And then because of the schools that I was in for the military, I had to go out to California. And she was on the East Coast. And so I was like, yeah, I'm not doing 3,000 miles. And so I broke it off.

While I was out there, I was dating a couple of girls who were roommates, both in the military, both wildly into experimentation. So it allowed me to take all the stuff that I had learned from watching porn and kind of put it into use and see what worked, what didn't work. So that was kind of the first time I started to establish that I had certain kinks

and that I was okay with pretty much anything. I was one of those people that, you know, if you don't try it, you can't say anything about it. So I was willing to go out basically try anything. At the time, I knew I wasn't into guys. That was just a thing. I'd been approached by, you know, a couple members in the military early on in my career

who were, you know, who had, you know, under the cover of darkness and stuff, would try to entice you to do things. And I just wasn't attracted. So fast forward through the training that was going on out there, which was, you know, a couple of years, or about a year. year and a half or so. And I, you know, middle of the night, I've got these two girls, you know, over at my place and, you know, drunk is all hell. And I kicked him out of my house because I was like, something and it clicked in my head and I'm like, you know what? I need to call this person.

And I did. Your wife? Yeah. Okay. And I drunk daughter. Yeah. Okay. And so, so, you know, one thing leads to another and we end up getting married. And that was it. I was like, this is the only person I need. This is the only person I want. I've seen, you know, I've been around done, done the things I wanted to do. And I was in my, you know, early 20s, 23, 24-ish. And, you know, it just clicked. And we did everything together.

And she was experimental in bed. And, you know, the sex was great. Anything I wanted to try. She was willing to give it a shot, except for, you know, bringing a third in. She was a little hesitant on that. but I have a feeling there, some underlying stuff there. But you would ask her, but you would ask her. You would bring it up and be like, and she would be like she would shut it down.

Yeah, no. And the funny part was, it was like when there were, because girls hit on my wife for some reason, she attracts lesbians and bisexuals like you would not believe. And she would tell me. And it was almost like, are you teasing me? Do you want me to say something? Should we invite her over? And then, you know, the first kid comes along.

and when the first kid came along, things started to change. And it was, you know, it went from being, you know, she would get mad at me if I would, you know, roll over while, you know, when I was going to bed. If I turned my back to her, she would get mad at me. If I wasn't, you know, if I wasn't big spooning her, she would be upset, you know, that kind of thing. And then it was, I was not allowed, you know, I wasn't able to touch. and then it was, you know, sex became like a monthly thing, right? And then, you know, for a while I was, you know, and I'm right in the middle of,

because guys are what, around 17 we peak, but I think I'm still peaking as far as. I get it. But at that point, you're really fucking horny. So once a month is not going to roll with any guy, even a 60-year-old guy, I don't think. Yeah. Absolutely not. And then so it keeps going that way where it's, you know, it goes from, you know, where a good morning kiss or a good night kiss turns into a, like a negative response, right? And I was finishing up, I was, ironically, I was finishing up my degree in psychology.

And I did my capstone on a, you know, the, the psychology behind BDSM. and I did a lot of interviews with folks. I used FetLife to talk to a lot of people. And, you know, it was one of those when somebody like me who's, you know, my love language is touch. And that was going away. So it was, you know, not only becoming a sexless marriage, but to me it was a love, you know, it was becoming a loveless marriage. Of course. And so the first time anything happened was I, you know, you.

I used to commute on a train, and you get a regular group of riders. And there was this one woman that used to sit near me or stand near me or however and struck up a conversation with me and started playing footsie with me. And we, you know, start talking. We find out, you know, she's married. I'm married. But she wanted the excitement. You know, she wanted the thrill.

So we started doing things. We started hooking up in just total high school sex kind of things, you know, just like in the car after work, you know. That's cheating things. That's cheating things. That's cheating. When you're cheating on your wife and you're in a car fucking somebody, that's not high school sex. That's cheating sex. That's the other kind of sex that goes down in cars. Right.

Yeah. We're not doing the hotel thing yet, though. It's okay. A lot of people cheat. It's fucking funny to me. I always make jokes about it. Like there's all these grown-ass adults in their, like, you know, work gear fucking in the back of their car because they're cheating in cars. Absolutely.

Yeah. It would be an interesting porn. I need to ask you something because, you know, here you are. It sounds like you were monogamous to your wife for a very long time. You know, all of a sudden you're cheating on her with this woman. And this is the first time you're cheating. I mean, eventually it gets way worse because you get into the lifestyle and everything. But like at this point, you're doing like, you know, Vannella.

Cheating because you get more hurt. Yeah. Low level, level one cheating. It was vanilla, you know, with one person in a car. But like, how do you feel about that at first? Like, do you remember having... I hated it.

Okay, so you felt guilty? Like, what was it? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, it's important to say. It was the most, you know, and still, to this day, you know, there are things that I do in my life right now that are need fulfillers, but they are, you know, I, I'm almost to the point where it's too much for me. Yeah, not good to do things that you don't feel good about.

You know what I mean? Like I always say, like, honestly, like, I'm not, I'm nobody's like moral compass. We all set our own sort of morals and values. You know what I mean? Like, we're in charge of that. And to me, the worst thing to do is go against whatever you believe. And when you're feeling horrible about what you're doing, you're going against yourself. You know, and if you feel like terrible all the time, like that's a hard thing to live

with. I don't know how you deal. Well, and so to add a little context to that, the only reason, it was really, like most people that would have been in my situation, would have found a way for an off ramp. And to me, it was we had the kid. And it was, you know, the old adage, you know, stay together for the kids. But I had been through it firsthand and watched, you know, what had happened with my parents. And to this day, my parents are in their 80s. And to this day, my mom still will talk shit about my dad, even though they're,

both cheated. And she was the only one to admit it. But so I, I kind of had that mentality. It was like, no, this is just a temporary thing, this physical thing until maybe it's body dysmorphia or something where she's, you know, feeling bad about her body after the birth and all this. And, you know, my wife is very athletic. You know, she was, she kept in shape. She didn't overeat. Nothing, you know, just was incredible. She was incredible to look at. incredible to be with. I didn't need anything else, but there was no physicality at all in our relationship. So you did need something else. That was the something else that you needed, that you needed. Everything else was there, but that's not, without physical touch, without any kind of intimacy,

you don't have everything. Sorry. Yeah. And so everything that I was in, so going forward, you know, I was talking to a few people on FetLife, and then one of the women that I met on FetLife wanted to, you know, explore being a submissive for me. Okay. And this is what first, so now you have the woman at work and the car sex and now you're on Fet Life and now this girl's coming after you. Yeah. The girl on the, you know, the girl on the train, the girl on the commute, that kind of ended before this other things started. Okay. Which was fine. You know, my commute changed. I wasn't taking the train anymore and whatever. And we, we weren't even talking, you know, we weren't texting when we're talking or any of that stuff.

but I met this other girl who you know immediately she wanted to you know she wanted to meet up for coffee public place you did that wonderful thing talk to each other see what worked what didn't and she and I hit it off great and started a relationship that would last for the next three years what do you mean by a relationship she was my sub okay okay so it wasn't like a like it wasn't like a girlfriend relationship it wasn't a dom sub a It was like that kind of dynamic. I think that's more of a dynamic than a relationship, but like maybe some people.

Right. Well, it was it was playtime, but like, again, to the stay, I'm still friends with her. And we haven't, you know, we haven't played with each other over 15 years. So it's one of those where I get vested in people that are very, you know, folks that are willing to, to reveal those kinds of things to me, they, they save a place from my heart. So it's kind of hard for me to cut them off or be callous, you know. Well, you have this need for everyone to like you. That's like an, that's a little bit of an issue.

I mean, it doesn't make you like a, you know, you don't get any metal for being, oh, we can't let go of anybody. You know what I mean? Like, you know, that might be a little bit of an issue. You went to school for it. Okay, you know, you know what I mean? It's not like, that's not like the, there's something selfish about that too. You know that, right?

I mean, it's not like, oh, that's just a nice person. But let me ask you this, because, you know, Dom sub relationship, you know, and you call it a relationship. And I know that it is a very intense kind of a thing because it's not just about sex. There's so much communication and stuff that goes in. Like, how did you like keep that going on while you're married and like, did, you know, and not get busted? Where were you hiding your shit?

Well, so, so my first sub, she understood, you know, she knew my dynamic. She knew, or she knew my situation. She knew I was married. she knew my wife wasn't a part of the community or a part of the lifestyle and she was okay she would get you know I would give her weekly tasks daily tasks I would start my day by going over to her house going over to her apartment and we would have our you know face-to-face sessions then and then there was other times when you know I would either leave work early or what have you but it was not difficult at all to go to her apartment if, you know, if there was a session that needed to be had or, you know, if one of us or the other wanted to see the other one.

So it was pretty regular. I mean, I was seeing her at least, you know, two or three times a week. And that, you know, that went on for a good, actually, it was only about two years that that happened. And then so part of my occupation. Did you develop feelings for her? cut you off, but, like, I just need to know. Like, did you develop feelings for her? To an extent, nobody I've ever played with outside of my marriage has been somebody, well, there is one person. I'll get to her. And she is the one. So, so, so, I'll just jump forward to that because there's, there's, there's other stories that are, you know, because of my occupation,

I spent a lot of time deployed with the military. And that is a whole other phone call if you want to get into that. Okay. So at this point, though, like it sounds like the minute you start, quote unquote, you know, like cheating or whatever, you don't stop. I mean, it's like your, the floodgates are kind of open and you're like acting like a single guy. You're banging who's ever, you know what I mean? Like you're, you're like, you're constantly looking for people to hook up with. It doesn't sound, that's what it kind of sounds like. Yeah. But it was, it, it was. And I mean, it was a really unique kind of experience for me because around you know like when we would do you know social activities with her friends and you know in their husbands and everything you know go

out and do the typical you know 30-something thing out here which is you know go out drinking and stuff you know there because of you know I don't know whether it's you know because of the branched military I was in or just that you know testosteroneiness or, you know, because I'm kind of an alpha when it comes to situations, you know, these, you know, her friends were hitting on me and, you know, grabbing my butt and grabbing my no, no, no, I'll tell you why. You had a green light on, okay? That's what happens to people, okay? Like, it's not a mistake that the minute you were available for sex with other people, that people, other people that were just as naughty as you didn't fucking smell it from a mile away.

These things happen. You're putting out a vibe. You're putting out of your you were available. You're available. You're not walking around like I'm not interested. If I decide I want a boyfriend, I will walk out today and somebody will come up to me because they'll know I'm fucking ready for it. If I'm not interested, nobody will ever talk to me.

Like you put on a light. You were down to fuck behind your wife's back and people knew that. That's what it. It has nothing about your testosterone. It has to do with your availability. You were open for business. And that makes, that does. makes sense. Of course. It's like

psychology 101. Didn't you go to school for that? We all are, you know what I mean? Like that shit is all we're all animals. We all know our people. Cheaters, no other cheaters. Freaks, no other freaks. Yes, I truly believe that. But now that I'm older, I don't think the the freak pheromone works as much as it used to. Well, maybe you're not as freaky as you were. I think I'm a lot more careful now.

Well, there you go. You're not as open. Fast forward to, you know, so, you know, my daughter, so I'm all, I've always been the kind of soccer mom when it comes to, you know, taking the kids to their activities. And in that area, you know, I got to be friends and not, you know, not fucking all of them, but got to be friends with all the moms. Yeah. So I'm that dad. You know, and there was, there was a mom that, you know, about 10, 15 years younger than us who, you know, had kids at the same school and everything. And I used to see her on a regular basis. And she and I really liked each other.

And it progressed to, you know, we would talk about the problems in our marriage and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then one night, you know, after drinking, you know, I just, I did the guy thing you do when you're doing. drunk and texting with a chick you want to bang, you show her your dick, you know. And she told me, you know, the next text after that was come over. Oh my God. And I did. And it turned into, you know, the kids were young enough that it was, you know, we were hooking up on a regular basis whenever there was available time. And she was bisexual. She was bisexual. She was into, you know, experimenting. She wanted to do everything with me.

And, you know, she's beautiful. And she was, you know, just all of these things that just got me to. She was also friends with your wife, no, I would assume. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. To this day, still. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know. Let me ask you real quick. Have you ever been caught in any of these things this whole time? Yep. Okay, we'll get to that. But anyway, this is the one I'm going to. We'll get to Ashley Madison in a minute. Okay.

This is the one on. I'm assuming that you fall for, right? Because that's the story you started. Absolutely. Okay. I totally fell for this one and I started building an off ramp. I started, you know, I started thinking about, you know, how the finance would work, how the kids would work. I was going to get an apartment and I was going to ask you to move in with me and say, hey, let's rip the pandemic off.

You know, you and your husband, you know, don't want to be together anymore. Me and my wife don't want to be together anymore. We should just go be happy together. And I got close to that point. And then my wife got really ill. Oh, yeah. And it was like a two by four to the neck. I couldn't breathe.

My anxiety went through the roof. I felt like the worst shit in the world, which a lot of your viewers will probably be sitting there nodding their heads right now. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. And it was, okay, I need to knock this shit off. I need to redouble my efforts. I need to figure out what it is to. to fix what we've got going on.

Now remember this whole time, part of my job is to know people. And pulling things out of people is kind of something that I do. So trying to find the root of what was the psychological block? What was the block for her to do X, Y, Z? Why wouldn't she go to, yeah. Why wouldn't she go to therapy? Why, you know, when I would bring it up,

because I was going to therapy for, you know, just because it was really weighing on me and I needed to talk to somebody. So I went to therapy. And she wouldn't go to couples counseling. She wouldn't, you know, do any of that stuff because she didn't see a problem. And I would tell her what the problems were. I was very, I will say that even to this day, I'm very good at communicating what the problems are. Right. Okay.

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Like you let her know, there's no intimacy. I'm feeling sex deprived. I need kisses and stuff. Did you ever say, because I once had a therapist tell somebody that I know that that person should tell their person. Like, listen, I don't want to cheat on you and I never have cheated on you, but I worry that I will because of this. And I thought, you know, that's a brilliant fucking fire to put under somebody's ass. Because it is the truth. That's exactly. That's exactly what I have said.

Okay. And what if she did that didn't knock her into fucking exist? Like, that didn't make her change. So we had the illness issue and then there was the Ashley Madison issue. And Ashley Madison, the, you know, the big leak on everything happened. And my name was there. How did she find out? Did she get looking for your name?

I'll tell you how I found out was a friend of mine who is very knowledgeable on computers, basically used all of his contacts. ran his contact list against it and found me and told me, hey, you're on here. And so instead of waiting for that shoe to drop, I, you know, I admitted it. Why? Why would you, why? Why would your wife ever go look in Ashley Madison if she had zero chance that you were cheating? Like, why? Why? Tell her. Like, your friend literally had to put an Excel spreadsheet in there to find you. Like, why would you think your wife would ever find out? Because it was one of those that maybe this was a catalyst to either affect change one way or another.

You know, maybe this was the same moment that my mom had admitted to my dad, which she used to divorce her, you know, it was, okay, this happened. I'm not running from it, not hiding from it, not going to wait to see if it happens. I'm going to get out in front of it. And if things change, great. If not, then they're going to change the other direction. Right. So what's her reaction when you say, hey, babe, I was on Ashley Madison.

and my name is on that list, and I was cheating on you. It was shocked disbelief and, you know, I can never trust you again, never trust you again. Okay, if you want to divorce me. And I told her, I said, okay, if you want to divorce me and she's like, I'm not divorcing you. You know, and that was the kind of, there were mixed signals in that. Was that one, I was never going to be trusted again, but two, she was going to stay married to me. Well, you had choices too in that situation. You know that right?

Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I've had choices at every turn in this. Yeah, but you didn't want to leave her? Right. And it was, it was in the rationality that I give myself, which is not, you know, a solid foundation, but it's the only one that I have was the whole, you know, what is this going to do to the kids kind of thing. Of course, that's everybody's reason for staying and money. There's a lot of reasons why people stay.

They don't want to, but like they do. And all mostly more people. stay than leave. I'm sorry and that's what I think. Yeah. And so the last time, it's been over 10 years. Did you still cheat on her right after? Not right after, probably about four or five months after. That's right after. Yes. Me. I mean, right after is like, you stop. Just listen. Right after the answer should be yes. A couple months later, you're fucking cheating. Right after is like in the first six months. The way later is like, you know, two. years later, I started cheating again. You took no breaks. You went right back, even after getting busted. I took no break. Even when your wife is like, I don't fucking trust you. I was, I was back on Fet life. I had a cuck couple. Oh my God. That wanted me for a bowl. I got a text, you know,

I got a DM from from this guy on Fet who was the, you know, the cuck and wanted to, you know, if I wanted to, was interested in, in talking to them. And I said, sure. Because I'd never done before and it was one of those well maybe I could do this you know I wasn't into guys I made that abundantly clear and it was you know that that situation was was purely

a humiliation cuck where you know he would you know I he would you know catch me in his wife fucking you know at their house yeah or you know he was made to you know what you know he would be at his

office and his wife would come over bring him lunch and I would fuck her on his desk you know it was it was all role play fantasy for them and I was an actor yeah totally you were the bull it was I was the bull I was there to

you know be a toy for them and you know great I was okay with that I did a you know a hot wife gang bang down in San Antonio oh my god now you're so hardcore this is even after that this is all after Ashley Madison. Yeah. This is all after that.

Oh, my God. You only got worse. Yeah. No, it's very true. And it was mainly because the opportunities were presenting themselves that hadn't before. And I wasn't really looking for them. Yeah, I got it.

Well, you're on Fed Life. That's what goes down on Fat Life. Yeah. Yes. And not as much anymore, but it's still, you know, it's still a good place to learn stuff. But at the same time, it's not as much of, there's a lot of sellers on there now. So it's difficult, which really bugs the crap out of me. But, you know, things like that, I had the one cook couple that I was working with for probably seven or eight months.

And then I had another cuck couple that was a forced I cuck. And that was, you know, that was a military couple, which was interesting. Luckily, we were in a different branch of service and we ran in different circles. or else it might have gotten awkward. But that went on, you know, for seven, eight months. And then all this, you know, throughout this whole time, you know, there's multiple times when I'm deploying. So there's always somebody when I was, you know, gone.

I was always with somebody else, you know. I had, you know, somebody in my office who, you know, was very, very much into me and may no bones hiding about it. It's always been kind of one of my. rules was not to do that with somebody at work, but I did. Yeah, I'm sure one of your rules was don't fuck my wife's friends and you did that too. I think you sound like you got like a little out of control like you were like addicted to this cheating sacks and I think that happens a lot of times, you know, and that's why you take it so extreme. You need more. Yeah. And kind of like when you

get to today and you know, the the situation that I'm in right now is the same thing. I'm waiting for my, you know, younger kid to get through high school. And then the one reason for me to leave is gone. And that, to me, has always been the, well, if I can get to here, that's, then I'll get to hear, you know, I know it's not right. I know that it probably would have been easier had, you know, we moved on with our lives a long time ago. Yeah, let me ask, like, let me just tell you something.

How long, how many more years is your kid have before he leaves? two years, three years, one year? Four or five. Four or five? He's not close? Well, call me up in four or five years. I'll still be doing my show. I love what I do.

And tell me if you left your wife on your own. Because this is the thing that I notice about guys. You know, the only time you thought to fucking leave her was like, really leave her. And you were looking at the finances is when you had that other chick, you know, that you were going to move right back into. Guys typically don't leave women and go live on their own. It's very rare you find that. Guys typically leave when they meet another woman and they go out.

So probably by that time you'll get an affair and that's when you'll leave her. But typically, like, guys don't leave it nothing. I also call it the Cap and Sabahoe mentality is there are things that I watch. You know, my wife and I didn't think that she's really good at functioning in certain things, particularly with, you know, finances and, you know, keeping appointments and things like that. and I look at that and that's part of the psyche that tells me to stay because it's like if you go, then this is all going to fall apart. Yeah, but that's like codependence.

Like you need to be needed to feel good about yourself. So you make people dependent on you. Really the best thing for your wife is for you not to help her do all that stuff and have her do it herself. You're not really helping people by doing everything for them. And that's where the whole codependent, we're so great comes into play where it's like you're not really that great. You're actually like, you know, you need so bad for these people to need you because on some level, you feel like if they didn't need you, they wouldn't be with you. That's really what it's all about. You know what I mean? So, you know, your wife would be much better without you because then she could go tend to all those parts of herself because she needs to figure that shit out herself. Like nobody needs anybody else. Nobody needs to be dependent on anybody else unless they're fucking children. You know what I mean? Your kids need you. Your wife doesn't. That was also that was also a big part of after the illness was over. There was this kind of.

of, you know, like, not really a narcissist move on her part, but a very much a, you know, focus on me thing where, you know, everything was about her and her needs her wants. Did she face death? Like, did she have cancer or something? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of people come out of that. Like, listen, at the end of the day, everyone should be focusing on themselves.

There's nothing, that's not being a narcissist. People use the word narcissists. Like, a narcissist is a very specific person, and it's not just they think about themselves. They have zero empathy. They don't have feeling. Like it's a very specific thing. And most people are not narcissists, but most people are selfish. And actually, like they say, if you're on the plane, put the oxygen mask on yourself,

that most people have to think about themselves first. And your wife probably tended to her kids, tended to, like did all these things all her life. She faces fucking death. And she realizes, you know what? Life's fucking short. I'm going to start taking care of me for the first time in my life. And that's probably what happened to her.

And that happens to a lot of people. And I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing, but as a codependent, you know, you probably need a little bit of that yourself. Well, yeah, and absolutely true. But up into this point, it was, you know, I was the one that had the steady job with the health insurance and everything and, you know, made sure. Did she stay home with your kids? No, absolutely not. Okay. And that was the, that was the other part was, you know, she had these ideas of what she wanted to do.

And every time she would look at something and go, yeah, I'm. I want to do this, I would have to push her and push her and push her just to send a resume in because it was the whole, you know, all they can do is say no, right? Yeah, I get. But wait, we don't have much time left and I want to just ask stuff about your wife more. Okay, like I get that. You know, there's all these like codependent and crazy things go. Like you have more issues than just what's happening in the bedroom.

And that's very normal of people that have been together since the dawn of time. You know what I mean? Well, let me let me put this. Let me put this out there. is that if there was anything in the bedroom, I would not be doing the things I'm doing. Right. Because I have gone, right now,

it's been three years since I've had sex. Why have you not been with anybody in three years? Or just three years without her? No opportunity. No opportunity. No, it's been over 10 years without her. I'm assuming that when she found out you were on Ashley Madison,

and you told her, you said, well, you haven't had, you don't have sex with me. Like I have needs, right? Like I would assume that, right?

So now that she hasn't fucked you for 10 years, does she assume that you're cheating again? Does she actually trust you? Like, I don't know why she would think that you're not still doing the same thing. Has she ever caught you since? Does she ask you questions? No. No. And personally, I think it is, you know, either she doesn't want to know or she assumes it

and doesn't want to know or, you know, or eventually, you know, like we got rough enough last year that there was, you know, we started talking about a separation agreement, right? And then something went through that. One of the things that I think is probably my biggest downfall is the fact that I always try to, you know, fix a problem. Yeah, we hear that a million times. Yeah, you need to save people. You're this, you're that. I mean, I need to save people. So it was, hey, let's go to couples therapy. Let's start talking about this. And we did. We started, you know, we went to a therapist. We started talking about it. You know, she used to think I had a porn addiction just because I liked it.

You know, I definitely don't have an addiction. I know exactly what, you know, the definition of addiction is. And, you know, I masturbate because that's the only outlet I have. Yeah, just because you watch porn doesn't mean you're an addict. But some women think that. Some women put those things together, which are mostly true. I don't know if you have a porn addiction, but at least your wife was going to therapy. You said she never wanted to, but you eventually did go to therapy together.

And then she stopped. And then it was too hard to go. And then, you know, it was because we started getting into points that really mattered. You know, like, again, going through the layers of stuff in her past and her history and turning it into, you know, like that was, that was the point where I was hoping that she was going to continue by herself in therapy. Because I know that there was a lot of things that she wouldn't say with me around. Of course. Yeah. No, it sounds like you both need therapy separate and you could use therapy together.

of course. Yes, and out of all of those years, I was the only one that ever actually did that. And still, to this day, do it. Do you guys like each other? Do you like her? Do you love her? Yes, absolutely. She is, she is, there is a reason that something in my head clicked about her that long ago, that she was the person I was supposed to be. And that's the mentality. It was she's the person I'm supposed to be with. Right. And it wasn't, we weren't, we weren't, you know, how you got to recognize? How are you going to reconcile that when you leave her when your kids leave? I mean, that's a very like, I get that you, 27 years ago, that's how you felt. It just doesn't sound like, you know, you need to hold on to that for your whole life

just because you felt that 27 years ago. You could like change your mind. If I knew a soft way to do that, I would have done it all right. There's no soft way to do it. Yeah. And that's, maybe you just need her to do it. Maybe when your kids leave, she'll be like, let's fucking get out of it. of this? I kind of hope so, but at the same time, it's, again, that's my next off-ram

that, you know, I've got it, you know, in my mind, I have to think through it, and this is what I'm, you know, doing on my own to make this happen, even though, you know, this should have happened 15, 20 years ago. We, you know, it was funny. She always jokes about the fact. But yeah, but it can happen next year. I mean, 15 years went by and you're still like waiting another five years to do anything. and we all like you're you you know the the the thing is you're not going to leave you know like and maybe when your kids leave you're not like unless you spend the next five years while your kid is like in school still working on dealing with that part of you that can't devastate someone that like you know is so overly sensitive that you can't you know that

is so afraid of that ending or whatever you know that you're not going to do it I'm more afraid of the emotional fallout around it there's going to be emotional fallout. Yeah, no, absolutely. But that, but I, you know, but that's, but don't you think that there will be happiness for the, like, listen, your wife, like, you know, is with a man who's like, you know, been cheating on her this whole time. Like, don't you feel like maybe she'd be happier with somebody else that maybe isn't doing all those things behind her back and maybe somebody that she's more compatible with? It just, you know, and don't you think that you would also be happier too? Like, you know, I get that, like endings and emotional, you know, like something bad.

I have tried to, I've really tried to push that with her. I've, you know, I've told her, is there something, you know, I've confronted her. Is there somebody else? Is there somebody else you don't want to be with? You know, and I've literally told her, you know, when I've gone on deployments and stuff, I have said to her, hey, if you run into a guy that you like, you have my permission, you know, do what you want to do. You know, if there's somebody else out there that you want more than me, go get them.

You know, those words have been spoken. And nothing, you know, so I know that there's more to it on the psychology side that she just won't touch. Is she through menopause? Did, like, is she through menopause? Well, that happened because of the cancer. Yeah, yeah. So she just doesn't want sex. She doesn't want it.

Oh, this was before that, though. She has probably no sex drive. Well, maybe her hormones changed after she had kids. Sometimes, like, your hormones get fucked after that. You know what I mean? So, and then the no sex. Yeah, but, and she, what, what happens is if she's been like that for 10 years, like, she's, that's not going to change.

So she's not going to meet a guy at the store and want to be with him. But you're giving her everything she needs because she doesn't need sex. No, and I did it. I did that before, before all that happened. And, and now it's, you know, how much of a dick would I sound like if I went to her and said, hey, you know, we're having sex this weekend or I'm leaving, you know, because it boils down to what happened when you said what I, no, what happened when I said like when you said to her like, like, I mean, you haven't had sex with her 10 years and you don't have any conversations about the no

sex in your marriage? Not any serious ones, no. Yeah, well, maybe you should. Maybe bring it up. I am willing to talk about everything under the sun with her and I've tried to start those conversations on multiple times and I get shut down. Did you ever ask for a free pass? That, if I were to ask her that, you know, so let me, let me just throw something else out there. You know, when she started doing this downward slide, we're still having sex like once every, you know, a couple weeks, you know, before it got really bad.

And I was still, my libido is my libido. I could fuck every day. And still, to this day, I could still fuck every day if that was out there. But she would make the joke all the time. Oh, you need a prostitute, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, and I would look at her and like, you want a prostitute to do the things with me that I do with you. Well, that's how you're going to get, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So it was almost like a dare. And whenever that would get thrown out, I would be looking at it like, are you fucking serious? In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees, earn an average of over $26 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields like software development and information technology.

Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Or are you trying to catch me in something that's going to be an aha moment? Maybe that was your perfect time to say, are you serious? Can we maybe discuss that I could go get my needs met elsewhere? Maybe that's not the way I want to do it, but like, can we actually talk about that? Maybe you should have turned that into a serious conversation. I know that's why one of her friends blew me at a party once because she heard that conversation. Right.

And, you know, it was the freaking most hilarious thing and almost getting caught and all that. But, you know, saying those things, my wife, my wife saying those things back, her friend looking at me and then winking. And it was like, okay, game on. People are like, talk about like, you know, these people of this story. Like, this is terrible. Her friend like fucking takes the thing and then blows you. I mean, you know, that's not your wife's fault. That's you and that girl's fault.

Okay. Like you guys, you're white. Absolutely. Come on. I get that. And I do take full responsibility for everything. Yeah. I mean, you're one of those shit.

Listen, I always say, like, I don't know. Like when you're like fucking your friends, wives and people like friends, your wife's friends and everything. And then you get caught in like literally. four months later you're doing it again. And the only reason why you stop, your lucky wife is because there's no opportunity anymore for you.

But, you know, I mean, I mean, there's still opportunity. I'm just not, you know, I'm not looking as hard as I used to. Do you like lower sex drive maybe? No. What is the reason? That's my last question.

What's the reason? The reason is because there's so much of a life that we've built to this point. that until I'm ready to get out on, you know, my terms and then, you know, go into the lifestyle that I want to, then everything has to be, you know, safe as far as, you know. But you said two different things. Like five minutes ago, you said the only reason why I'm not cheating on her is because

there's nobody available. Now you're saying I'm not cheating on her because I want to keep our marriage together. I don't feel right about it. well no it's it's it's it's i'm not i'm not digging as as hard as i used to because when it came to looking for partners just because when i was doing that before there was a lot of reckless things that i was doing with you know phone numbers emails you know time of day texting you know that kind of stuff that was so somehow now that you're older you're you're feeling more uh even though you and your wife you plan on leaving her and you have your exit plan already set out what year you're

doing it and everything you see you want to you're doing it and everything you see you want to, you're making sure you preserve this relationship until then you don't want to fuck up. And you're, you probably drive as a little lower too. It has to be. Or you think you're more conscious? Like, do you feel more guilty about it? Like, where all of a sudden is the, uh, I want to do the right thing coming from?

Do you feel like that came with age? So back in the day I could do, you know, when I was, when I was overseas, I was able to, you know, go all night with five different girls at the same time. And nowadays, you know, my dream scenario or, you know, the biggest fantasy I have is, you know, is just having a threesome, you know, just to have other people. It's the whole, you know, oversensory. And it's not that I can't get off with one person, but it's more those kinds of situations. Like I've gone to a few of the munches and everything and met people and could have

networked into, you know, different relationships with them, but I haven't, you know, and it was, it's kind of, it's like a, because I know that if I start getting into those, it'll snowball as big as it used to be. And I don't want that to be the catalyst for, you know, the end, you know, the catalyst for the end is the fact that it's not coming at home. But I want to do that on my time. Okay. And not, yeah. Okay. And not have something else be the thing that, you know,

throws the hand grenade in the row. Yeah, I mean, you're lucky she only caught you that one time, you know. I do know, like I said, you said before. The only reason why I'm not cheating on her is because no one's available. So, but now it's different. I mean, I don't know which one to believe. But the good news for your wife is you're not cheating as much on her as before. Hopefully she never finds out again.

But I wonder if the second time around after all this time, if it would even sting as much. I mean, she must know on some level. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like that you're getting sex someplace else. I mean, come on. You know what I mean? There's a, there's a part of me that's something that she's just waiting for the

aha motion, like the aha moment, like the gotcha moment. She already had it. Like, well, she did. She got you. You gave it to her. You gave her the gotcha moment. She didn't do anything. Both of you were the same.

You're not leaving for any reason anytime soon. Yeah. She would have left you during the Ashley. Madison thing. She, you would have left her when she didn't fuck you for five years. It's been 10 years and you're still with her. Neither one of you are going anywhere anytime soon, you know, and let's see if you go

anywhere like when the kids are out and if you actually do do that. You know what I mean? Because like people stay their whole, like people just sometimes just never get out of it. You know, I don't know if like because you saw your parents divorce that was so devastating that you don't want to do that, you know, to your kids. Personally for me, my parents stayed together all my life and I feel like it would have been way better for me to see a relationship where they divorce than stay together because they made me never want to have a relationship. I don't think that relationships that are so toxic

or great. You know, I don't think that I don't give anyone a medal for staying together in a terrible relationship for a long time. I don't think there's anything that great about that. I think it's actually sad. You only live once. Hopefully you and your wife will either figure things out together and you'll live happily or one day when the kids move out. You will both go your separate ways and maybe have a chance to meet other people and have another great relationship to both of you, you know, that can happen. Or maybe she's happier or she'll be happier alone, figuring shit out for herself, not having the stress of worrying that someone's like going to fucking cheat on her because she doesn't want

to fuck. You know what I mean? Like maybe she'll be good. Women are happier alone when they're older, like I'm telling you. Like she probably be like, well, and I, I'm always said that, you know, like this, I am not doing the, I'm definitely not doing the marriage thing again because there's, yeah. Yeah, why would you? No one's saying to get married, but most likely you'll wind up in another relationship.

Yeah, hell, I would much rather have, you know, people just come through my house and if they like to be around each other, they stay. And if they like to fuck, they can do that too. Yeah, I got it. Well, let me just tell you, well, we can't fantasize about what you're going to do in the future. Like, it's so far off. Yeah. It's not even close to being out. It's not a year from now.

It's five years from my whole sex life is fantasy. Well, it's weird, you know, that you went. It's from being such a massive cheater to be. being very dry for three years. It's interesting, let me tell you. You know, I don't, it's like, you know, there's a lot of stuff that you brought up here. I think people are going to be like, Kathy, we're so mean to him and blah, blah, blah. But like, you know, listen, this is a very, listen, yeah, this is a very, very common story.

Like every part of it, that not leaving the no sex, the cheating, whether it's the man or the woman I've had a woman doing the same thing in your position. you know what I mean? And it happens so much. And that's why I entertain these stories on my show because I think people could really learn and get into the head and see where it's coming from and why people are doing it.

Like, you know, most people are an inherently evil inside. People, you know, and a lot of times there's reasons for things. A lot of people will be like, yeah, he's justified. Like, his wife hasn't fucked him for 10 years. Like, what is he supposed to do? Some people will be like, oh. They'll be the same people that go,

he should have left already. Of course. And that's, listen, you know what I always say to that is it's easier said than done. The truth is what you like what you say. And I mean, I've never been afraid of those hard endings and stuff like it's torture. Like I don't know if you ever, there's a book called The Road Less Traveled. You know, in the first sentences, life is difficult. It's one of my favorite book, like self-up books I ever read.

And they talk about like instant gratification versus like future gratification. And most people live like in a like what I would. say to you, like if you had like, if I told you that you're going to get a like a massive broken leg, would you rather be in pain for six months, massive, massive pain for six months, but then get it fucking over with? Or would you like slight pain that feels not good at all for three years? Most people pick the not such bad pain for three years because they don't want to go through the hard stuff. So they always are putting. Yeah, no, it's just the hard, the harder thing, the harder path. They put it off. And so

They give up, you know, future gratification for instant gratification. And instant gratification is, I don't want to do that hard thing. I don't want to go through a divorce. But let me just tell you, the people that do that, like, you don't go through, the hard thing doesn't last forever. Nobody dies if you divorce them. You're not going to die. Your wife isn't going to crumble and die.

She's going to be upset. You're going to be upset. It's going to be a death. It doesn't feel good. But eventually, you get over it. And people live a whole other lives. I've watched my dad, my stepmom, you know, and I've watched my mom. and the few relationships that she's had,

and they both, you know, found other relationships afterwards. I think the biggest barrier for me was the deceaning animosity that still exists between them, and neither one of them able to. Well, that's their problem. And they're from a different generation. I know, but they're from a different generation, okay? Yeah, they're boomers. Yeah.

Yeah. Like our parents were like everything sweeping under the rug, live in denial. You know what you? Mom never got over her stuff. They didn't believe in therapy. Yeah, whatever. Like, that's the, you got to feel for those people. They were born in a very different time and they all were the same way. You know what I mean?

But just because she's that way doesn't mean that you guys are going to be that way. Your kids are always more evolved. You're more evolved than your parents. Your kids are more evolved than you. You know what I mean? So you're not going to be like your parents. And anybody that's still mad at anybody 30 years later, it's like, get over it. But our parents didn't evolve on that level that way.

They were from a different generation. There was no self-help. There was no looking at things. It was all just sweep it under the rug, but that stuff is there. Yeah, yeah. So you got to understand, but you're not going to be your parents. You know what I mean? So toxic, people that are toxic in a divorce and lasting for years.

That's their own people. That's a choice. You know what I mean? That's a fucking choice. So I wouldn't worry about that if you do it in a different kind of way. But anyway, listen, I love your story. It's going to get people talking, okay? Keep me posted of what, like I said, I'll still be doing my show five years from

call me when you'll call me when you left your. wife, I want to hear it. I want to hear that story. I want to say, I want to say thank you because calling in, like I debated over this for, you know, a month. Oh, really? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it was, you know, this is not talking to my therapist. This is not talking to my family, my friends. This is talking to somebody who talks to folks like this all the time, you know, and it, you know, it's cathartic. So, you know, so thank you for that. Oh, you know, problem. And, and, you know, listen, let me tell you, you're going to get even more out of it when you actually hear yourself as a third person. And as somebody that's like into psychology, you'll dig it. You know what I mean?

You're like me. You like the letters. You know what I mean? So you're going to get it. Like I always tell people this and people always tell me this. And it's very true that, you know, people call it and they feel a certain way. And a lot of times it is very cathartic and they feel but they get even more out of it. Like when you hear your story outside of yourself as like the third person, right, instead of like you're telling it now, you're going to get even more out of it. Wait until you see. Let me know what you think when you hear it, okay?

I will. It's an interesting experience. So it'll be, you're going to get even more out of it is what I'm trying to say. And you'll dig it. And thank you so much for calling in and being so open. I love these kinds of conversations. I mean, you know what I mean?

Because I'm like an analyzer and I like psychology and everything. You know what I mean? This is why I started my show because my friends don't want me to talk to them like this. But I like it. It's like interesting to me. Like human being life and relationships is just like fascinating to me. It's the human condition.

Yeah, yeah. Knowing the human condition is just exciting. Yeah, and it's interesting. And you learn. And I learn from talking to people and I see things and I like it. I don't know. It's just like where my interest lies. And that's why I have these conversations.

I don't do this for any other reason than I fucking love it. You know what I mean? I had a great time talking to you. I love your story. Thank you for calling in and being so honest. And I'll send you an email when the episode goes up. Okay, Robert? it. Great. Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate it. Thanks so much for calling in. Bye.

All right. Bye. Bye. Okay, listen, thanks so much for tuning in. If you're listening to my show on Apple or Spotify, make sure to give me a five-star rating. It takes like one second. You could just press it on your phone and stuff like that really helps the show. And make sure to also follow my show on either Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen to my show. I also want to tell you, that my book, Shrically Anonymous Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available in the audiobook version. It's basically 17 stories taken from my show, and they're all told in the third person. I wouldn't call it a total erotica book. Think more like penthouse letters, okay? Each chapter is short. It's one story taken from my show, like I said, but told in the third person by a narrator.

I picked the narrator. I made sure to get somebody hot. Okay. Guys, I've been email. me that have listened to my book and they're like, oh my God, I'm getting Woody's listening to it. So you're going to dig it. The book is also available in ebook version as well as a paperback format, but I personally think the audiobook version is the best. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord is free, but it's private and it's a great community where you get to talk and interact with other listeners of my show. All you got to do is send me a screenshot. of your purchase to Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, and I will send you the link to Discord.

Anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.