Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 166 - Rob is Polyamorous

Episode Date: February 20, 2017

Rob has a primary girlfriend, another girlfriend and he's currently looking for other couples to hook up with as well. He's into women, men, swinging, cuckolding, bdsm and a whole lot more. Tune in to hear all about his many sexual experiences with both women and men as well as hear al about how and why he became involved win polyamory. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift like you've got to find giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

Real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kay and Tommy. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy.

You want to follow the Strictly Notanus podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Stricted Anonymous or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. If you haven't subscribed to my show, subscribe and if you can, write a review. I really love reviews and they help the show. So write a review on iTunes or Stitcher, wherever you listen to my podcast. If you want to be on the show, send me an email at Trickly Anonymous podcast. Atgm.com. This is a call and advice show where I give people my eclays show where I give people my on professional advice.

But a lot of times I'm not really even giving advice. I'm just listening to people sort of reveal their interesting lives or their secret lives. So if you have a secret life, an interesting life, if you have a problem or you just want to be on my show, just send me an email at Strictly anonymous podcast.com, and I'll have you on. Today I have on a guy named Rob, and I found him on Craigslist. And I have to say his email on Craigslist, what he was looking for was pretty hardcore. He's into co-coulding and couples. and girls with piercings and tattoos

and he's bisexual and all that good stuff and we get into all that but what we mostly discuss on this podcast it turns out is just like polyamory because he's into polyamorous he's polyamorous right that's the right terminology so we talk a lot about that

and that's you know instead of like I tried to get out some like hot sex stories but we talk like I said more in detail about the polyamory thing because that's like a new sort of thing that people are doing. I think it's kind of new. And I think it's always interesting to hear from people that are actually doing it to see how it works.

You know, compared to the regular relationship that most people have been doing for the past, you know, how many years, I don't know, thousands. You know, the regular monogamous relationship. We all know about that relationship, but I think that these new relationships like polyamory and I don't know, there's other kinds. People have said the words, but this one,

I think I've had one other polyamorous. amorous couple on. This guy, though, has had long-term polyamorous relationships, and he's currently in one. So we get the history and all that stuff, as well as, like, get into, you know, how he got involved in all the sexual stuff that he dabbles in, which is, you know, like I said, a lot of stuff, and it's pretty hardcore. So his name is Rob, and I'll be right back on with Rob. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you.

Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous. Hey, Rob, welcome to Strictly Anonymous podcast here on Kathy. How are you? Hello? Hello?

Yeah, I said, hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous podcast. You're all with Kathy. How are you? I'm all right. How are you? I'm good. So, Rob, you, I found you on Craigslist. And you're into the whole cuckling thing.

And you're into a lot of other things as well. But what I found, I mean, I just reread your ad really quickly. And what I find really kind of funny is that you're talking about like how you love girls like with piercings, a lot of tattoos. You're bisexual. Like all the stuff that you're really into. And then you're like, when you email me back, put your favorite band in the subject line. What does that have to do with it? So back in the day, it's a little less ridiculous now.

Back in the day when Craigslist was a little bit more of a freak show, I shouldn't say, that's mean. But it just actually mostly comes from the old spam bots and generally speaking. like if it just has a return line or something that doesn't have like a personal like response line it used to be pretty common that it would just be like ad bots or cambots or whatever

oh okay because I'm thinking like you know I'm just thinking like that has something to do with like your fetish as well and I'm just like that's kind of weird but interesting that it's like the band you know but oh okay so it's like so that's you know it's like a human being is like actually emailing you and you're going to be responding to them

it sometimes cuts down on the wasted time. The bullshit, right? Yeah. I mean, nowadays, most of them still have like pretty specific, like, non-generic, like, font or, like, verbiage. It's usually pretty, pretty simple to pick out when someone is not a human being. Right. But wait. So let me just get to the good stuff, right?

So obviously you've been, how old are you, by the way? I'm 35. You're 35. So you've been doing this whole Craigslist thing. Like, are you married, single? Like, what's your sort of relationship status? I am polyamorous. So I have one primary partner.

And then I have one recurring secondary partner. That's my current situation. And they all know, I'm assuming, like, because you're polyamorous, right? like the girl that you're dating and they're women, right? I mean, you are by, but when I think of by, I think that that just means you kind of like hook up with guys sexually, but you're romantically involved with women, right? Well, I'm more what I would consider heteroflexible.

Usually my situation is, I've been roasted by this by locals in, I'm located in Denver. I don't know if you tell people that, but I've been roasted by guys who respond to my ass. because for some silly reason, somewhat closeted men find it necessary to respond to my ads a lot. So, and my thing has always been, I'm not generally, so I've been around for a while as a 35-year-old man, and that makes me, you know, a teenager in the mid-90s. And so I was pretty wild there for a while. I tried a lot of stuff, you know, whatever.

And because of it, I did experiment a lot in my younger years. I'm not really interested in men, but there are situations where having a man involved in the sexual scenario is like fun or interesting. So I usually consider myself more heteroflexible. I don't ever play with just men. I do play with men with their girlfriends or, you know, three sums and four sums. Me and my primary partner do swing, so we've had group scenarios and things like that. But as she always says, there has to be a vagina involved of some sort. And I guess that's not even fair because I have had sexual relations.

relationships with male to female transgendered people and things of that nature as well. So I, but a female identified person generally pretty much has to be involved in this scenario. Right. I mean, you just said so much stuff that you've done. It's like I wouldn't even, I don't even know where to start. You have like the language and the the lifestyle of like a millennial, right? Because I always talk about how like the younger generation are so much more open minded to all these kind of open. relationships as opposed to the ones. I mean, I'm like in my 40, so like I grew up in a time where nobody like had open relationships. Polyamory wasn't even a word that anyone really, that even existed, you know. But I find that the younger people are totally open to trying new things, right? Because the whole monogamous regular relationship thing probably, you know, in their eyes

doesn't seem to be working out. I mean, to me it never seemed like it made any sense either, you know? But so when did you start like when you were younger, right? Like you said you experience like a lot of different things like when did you start like acting out sexually and doing all this stuff uh i lost my virginity on my 14th birthday to a woman i'm assuming right two different lesbians at the once two girls at once uh yes how did that happen um okay so i was at a party i was a really really awkward young man um i um i uh so So a lot of my early sexual identity kind of co-insides with my, I'm recovering drug addict. And so a lot of my early sexual escapades kind of run tandem with my early developing drug addiction.

And so that actually is the first night that I ever got high. I was at a party. I was about to start my freshman year, high school. I had a friend of mine who invited me to this party that we got invited to by his older sister. And I was just this really nerdy kid and super awkward. But by that point, I was so invested in this idea of becoming like a cool kid. And what I had in my mind for that, I just was willing to kind of jump out and do whatever it took. So what ended up happening was I got fed some drugs.

And when you say drugs, like high on weed or crack or cocaine, like, what were you high on that at 14? That night was cocaine. That was kind of my drug choice for a long time. I'm bad in ecstasy. Again, I was a kid during the late 90s. So that kind of raver scene was kind of my thing for a little while. Uh-huh. And so I got, so I was given some cocaine.

I got pretty high. I passed out for a little bit, which was after throwing up on this person's floor. Because I didn't know etiquette back then. All right. And so I kind of blacked out for a little bit. And then one of the earliest distinct memories I have from that night is kind of coming to in one of the bedroom. upstairs and I have one of the girls

on top of me who I went to school with these two girls. They were I got to know them later on in high school because they were in drama and I was a drama student as well and so we I kind of like came to and one of them was on top of me the other one

was next to her in bed and then they switched positions and she was on top of you like screwing you like having sex with you. Yeah she was riding me. The other one was kind of, they kind of subbed in a little bit, but they were both

lesbian identified. I later found out, you know, through the years getting to know them, they were kind of, every once in a while, they, they, you know, sub in a guy or whatever, but, and I think actually, one of them actually

primarily identifies as a straight woman now. I don't stay in touch with a lot of people from high school. Were they 14-2, though, or were they older than you. No, they were both 16, 17, I think. Okay. They were a couple years ahead of me in tears. Okay. Yeah. So you screwed, you fucked them both and that's how you lost your virginity.

That is how I lost my virginity. But what about guys? Like, when did you realize that you were like so open sexually and into all this kind of stuff, right? Because you said you were sort of like awkward and maybe nerdy? I don't really know. But like, did you always sort of know like while you were like jerking off and stuff that you were like really open-minded sexually? Like were you into men fantasizing about them and all this other kind of stuff

that you got into? Or did the drug sort of make that happen? A little bit of both. Okay. I was a very, I still as you may not be terribly surprised are pretty sizable sex drive. I always have.

And so some of it was fueled by the idea that I, you know, generally speaking, you know, gay men are generally more interested in sex on a more regular racist. And so it just mostly came from the idea that I was, I cheated on pretty much any girlfriend I had in high school because I was always onto the next, you know, the next girl. and, you know, it kind of just came out of the, the, that young experimentation. I just, and it was definitely, like, my inhibitions to reach out and try new things.

Definitely probably were lessened by the fact that I was, you know. Hi, but it was like, you had those sort of thoughts in your mind and you wanted to do all that stuff. The drugs just sort of helped you out and gave you that push that you needed. But it wasn't like it made you do things that you were. were into. Yeah. And, you know, I tried stuff. And there were things that I tried that I immediately was like, okay, I don't like this.

Like what kind of stuff? And most of my stuff. Well, just like generally what I would be referring to in that situation is one-on-one play with men. I'm just, it's not what you're into. It's fine. Uh-huh. But I, I, there are things about women that that are kind of irreplaceable. for me. I don't know. I don't like to sound like an asshole and I definitely don't like to

sex shame anyone and I definitely don't like to come off bigoted or especially as someone who fetishizes like sexual activity in just the sense that everybody has the right to be respected by their partners. And so my big thing is just for whatever reason, I'm just not completely sexually like attracted to. And then. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, that's on a,

you're not insulting guys by saying that or at all. And it's obvious that you're super open-minded and non-judgmental. Yeah, but that's ridiculous if somebody accused you of that. You're pretty, you're very open-minded. You have a polyamorous relationship. You have,

you know, all the stuff that you've done. Like, you're obviously, like, you don't sort of live in a box anywhere. So, I mean,

I don't like to get into that whole stuff. Because it's like ridiculous. Like, I like to talk more about your personal stories. It's like I said, it's very obvious. that, you know, you're not sort of bigoted or any of those things that you just said that you are.

You're, like I said, you're super-related. And it's just like, to me, it's more interesting to hear your story of how that progressed in your life, you know? Okay. So you were cheating on all of your girlfriends, right, and sort of trying to have, like, regular relationships, right? When did it dawn on you that you could do this whole polyamory thing? Okay.

That's a little complicated question, but I, So, kind of the flashback, so 2009 I got married. The woman that I was married, we had a very rough relationship. I was still actively using. We had been together by that point for almost five years when we got married. I was physically abusive in certain respects. I was, whenever we broke, we would like take breaks. We had taken like a couple breaks here and there earlier in the first couple of years in our

relationship. I felt with a lot of other women in those breaks. And then I would conveniently not tell her about that. Anyways. And so about a couple months after we got married, I got a DUI. I lost my license. and that's when I started pursuing a sober lifestyle. And shortly thereafter, we got divorced.

Around a year after I first sobered up, I met a girl who was also early in sobriety. And she was kind of like my lifestyle ideal. She was a smart, ginger, which I've been a, you know, whatever. You're into gingers, I guess, yeah. Okay. Yes, I've been accused of fetishizing them too, which I try not to. Uh-huh. Okay.

Anyways, and so we eventually started seeing each other, and part of the kicker initially was she was very openly non-monogamous. She had a primary partner that she had been seeing for about three years, who at that time was going to school in San Francisco, so she didn't see him much, and then she was seeing a couple other guys. and in the early point when we first started hanging out with each other, she broke up with all of her satellite partners because she was interested in me,

which I didn't know because I'm kind of dense, and I thought she was way out of my league, et cetera. And so we dated, we ended up dating, which caused a girl I had been seeing at that time kind of casually to tell me that. We couldn't see each other. So I was convinced that I was going to try and be monogamous with this non-monogamous woman. Right.

And, uh. But she wanted you to be monogamous? I thought I did. I definitely, no, no, she, but I'm so, I'm surprised. Like, I, like, did she want you to be monogamous? No, no. She didn't. But you wanted to be monogamous.

It doesn't make sense. She, she, okay, to be fair, as it came out, Um, later she did kind of want me to be monogamous and just be monogamous to her. But, um, that's not how it works because, um, I was like, well, if she, she's, because I, I, my thought process was, I'm just going to prove to her that I'm the only person she needs, you know, because I'm weird. And that, when that didn't happen, I started seeing some of my old friends with benefits that I had been seeing over that last year.

And when that came out, when later when her and I split, she admitted that she was actually very hurt that I would see anyone else. Which she had also admitted was not fair. Oh my God, I can't even. Yeah, I can't even. It's so complicated. She's fucking other people, but she doesn't really want you

and you don't fucking anybody else because you're being Winogamist to her, but then you're like, you know, it's a little complicated, which I get why you said before was complicated. But is she the person that, so you guys broke up, right? She's not, so is that, was that sort of the first, like, foray into, like, trying and not really succeeding in an open relationship? Yes. And so we only were together for about six months. Okay. One of, but one of my friends with benefits that I had been seeing previous to her and then ended up seeing during the time we were together is in a longstanding, she's been married for 10 years. now and they've been open for eight of those years. And so I had met her.

And she had, her and her husband were really honest with each other. They've always really, like, talked and communicated. And so her, her relationship kind of became like my, what I looked at as like a healthy, like coming out of that relationship with the non-monogamous girl,

I didn't hate open relationships. never, I just didn't think that it was working for me. Or a workable, right, right, because it just turned into such a mess. But I didn't. Yeah. I got lucky that I had this other idea, this other notable working relationship to like, and so a couple months after me and the non-monogamous ginger split, I started seeing that partner that told me she couldn't see me anymore.

And she and I actually started dating. about six months later. And we, very early on, we were monogamous at first, but very early into our dating relationship, the conversation had come up. When her and I first, you know, about a year and a half before that,

started kind of just messing around, she had been cheating on a boyfriend, who then she broke up with because she felt she wasn't in love with him, hence why she was sleeping with me. and so oh my god there's just so much cheating going on and all of these people is like a good thing you're all going to just plan on being open-minded well and so she knew she was bad at monogamy right that was my entire uh life realization and so her and i have the conversation of what

we could maybe consider opening our relationship of which first started as as just swinging. And then eventually as it just became very hard for us to ever meet couples that liked both of us, we just open our

relationship and started seeing partners outside of that. And so she so her and I dated for four and a half years. We actually just split in July. And we had been open, uh, with the definitional openness of we were the only two that dated, uh, all of our other

satellite partners, we generally would see multiple times. Uh-huh. Well, but it wasn't. And so that was always like I always, we would always have the, the disagreement. She considered us open. I considered us kind of Polly because none of our partners were one-time flings, or at least, it was never like a this is just a NSA kind of situation. It was always, we both had the same relationship ideal of we like having partners we can trust and get to know and be friendly with. And like someone that if I see you out on the street, I can go and say hi to you instead of act like we've never met.

And so, so which kind of borders more on Polly. But she hates the term Polly. she and her boyfriend now still consider themselves open I don't judge how that looks for them but yeah for four and a half year

you know four of the four and a half years that we were to get that we were open and that's when you started like playing around with couples and guys when did you first get it on with a guy like when did that happen in your life I my first male

contact was probably around 16-7 And was that just like a drunken thing or a high thing? And like how did that happen? And was it just a one-on-one? Yeah. Yeah. The first time was one-on-one. It was, I'm trying to even think.

And was it like full-on like someone fuck someone in the ass? Or was it just like what actually happened during that first experience? There was the first one. he was relatively inexperienced, but he was a gay-identified man and he we swapped oral

and then I tried to top him but he was not comfortable with that and so that was pretty much it was manual and oral simulation where did you mean him? Like how did that happen that you just like all of a sudden for the first time

we're starting to like fool around with a guy? I met him on a chat room on AOL, I think. So you were like actively looking for it at that point? I was just actively sexually aware. And for whatever reason, gay men that were around my age found me attractive. And when you can't seem to pick up chicks very often and just, it became like a thing of like, okay. Convenience.

I was open enough to it and, you know, get sexually frustrated enough. I'd be like, okay, let's try, you know. And generally every time it was just like, okay, this isn't really my thing. And so I wouldn't do it hardly ever, but every once in a while it would come up and it would be like, okay, I'll try it again. And generally same results, but. know, I'm hard-headed. Flash, I try, you know, I just, I guess I just, I don't know, I guess I'm open-minded

in that sense. Yeah, that's fine. That's cool. So what, the second time, like, was it the same thing? You met somebody in a chat room? Usually it was through the internet, yeah, that I would meet guys. Not always. There were a couple, like, weird hookups.

there was a gay club in Denver called Tracks 2000. Shout out to Tracks 2000. And they used to have a 16-and-up night on Thursday night. And a lot of, as you may not be surprised, a lot of the kids that I was friends with in theater or in high school were at least gay or by identified. And so that was the dance club that we all went to, or at least my group of friends generally went to. Right, so you would meet guys there.

Like you would go out and then you'd meet a guy. Maybe if you're getting drunk and you haven't picked up anybody else, you'd like wind up fooling around with a guy. Because like you said, you were kind of like open to it because just nothing else was around. Yes and no. I feel like that makes it sound like it was never intentional. Right.

It was just, you know, sometimes the meat, you know, given the right side of circumstances, the heat of the moment, the, you know, whatever it is, but in those moments, they would be like,

okay, this sounds like an idea, you know, blow job in the bathroom sounds ideal for some reason. Right. But you, because the only reason why I asked us is because you said,

you know, very early on that, like you really realized from like, like early experiences that you weren't interested. in just like a guy on guy action like when it was you and a guy it just wasn't something that you were into so I just assumed

that maybe that wasn't ever really your first choice because somewhere along the line you said you weren't into that yeah and I yeah I always knew that I liked women like that was never like a

it was never enough baby is fair to say no right yeah I mean well and too like I I had always, I had been told by kids I went to school with since I was 12 years old. I was gay, which is a weird thing to do. But I, I, but I'm always, I'm slightly, I don't know, you know, I look back at it. I don't, other than being really awkward, I never, like, I never, I was just not cool.

So I think that was just, you know, the, the insult to throw at, you know, young men. socially awkward in those days. Yeah, totally. But let me ask you this because you're like, you're very open about just saying your name where you live and everything. So I'm assuming that this like stuff that you do is not sort of like a secret life.

And maybe, and I'm assuming that everybody in your life kind of knows about all this stuff. Am I correct? I'm pretty, oh, okay. Yeah, more or less. I'm pretty open. So, as it's been pointed out, I do post an ad on Craigslist that has not my face,

but I have semi-super identifiable tattoos that are visible in that picture. So for the most part, people kind of know me. I've been recognized at my old job. I worked at... You mean from Craigslist? Somebody came up and said, hey, I saw your ad on Craigslist?

Yep. Oh, my God. Was it a guy or? I must have been a guy, right? Because it's like, no, it was a woman. Really? The couple.

So my, the ex, my most recent ex that we split in, in July, she is a burlese performer. And so I would go to shows with her. And it was usually women who were in the audience. and stuff since I would be

without a shirt on and then that would usually be when I'd have a woman come up to me and be like, I've seen you on Craigslist and I'm like, okay. Oh, right, right, because you're in the burlesque club and people are drinking and it's like, so it's not like you're like in an office and everyone's dressed up in a suit and someone comes over to you.

That's what I thought when you said it was at work. It was like that scenario. But so when did you start doing couples? Was it like, I'm trying to get to like your stories a little bit more. But I mean, because there's so much here and there's so much history, like, you know, because you have the drug thing and you got sober. We talked about that and then you got into this whole polyamory thing.

But, like, you definitely like, and now you're dating two people. Plus, you post ads on Craigslist where you're looking for couples, right? Because you're very into the whole couple thing. When was the first experience you had with a couple? I was 19 years old. Uh-huh. I had hosted an ad. I don't think that was where the Craigslist did yet,

but I remember getting into contact with this woman. Maybe it was Craigslist. I don't think so. That seems a little old for Craigslist. But anyways, I got into contact with this woman who has been like to watch her have sex. And so I was a 19, And they were older.

They were in their late 30s. So not older, older, but older than me. Yeah, and you were 19. And they were married and she liked younger dudes and he, you know, that was kind of the soft intro. I had sex with her in front of him. He liked to watch. That was the extent of it. Right.

I had sex with her like two separate times. and then they kind of just faded off and that was it. And when I lived in Phoenix was my first hard intro to a cuck-holding couple. She was a little bit younger. She was... What does a cuck-holding thing mean? What's the real definition?

Because isn't it like just you're fucking somebody else's wife or they're watching? Like, wouldn't any of like situation? wouldn't that first situation be cuck holding or no? Like what's the difference? You could suggest that that first one was a cuck holding situation. Generally, what I've always, and I'm not on my definition, so it could have, what I've always understood, the cuckolding situation,

the main ingredient of it is there's some sort of humiliation aspect of it. Oh, okay. So the first one, there was nothing really. Right, right. So what happened with this? Yeah, yeah, totally. So what, so cuckolding, there's some sort, like, so what happened with your second one?

Because you said that was a straight up cuckolding experience. She, to videotape us having sex, and she would always be like, oh, you're so much better than my husband. Oh, right. There's some kind of shame. And the guy gets off on that, right? In theory. I've met, you know, you know,

you hear about situations and I've met a couple couples that she does it and she kind of just uses it as like ammo later on because she she's not you know like usually those ones it's more like there's abuse usually in the situation that at least that I've experienced but yeah for the most part it's that's what he likes and so she that's what she does in some former aspect and you know sometimes he has to be there sometimes but what happened I know I get the definition but

stay on focus with like your actual personal experience so you have this girl and she was like interested you guys would fuck and she would tape it and she'd say like really rude things about her husband and then they would go and watch it I would assume that they would watch it right but she would fuck you behind her husband wasn't there he was not there right okay and how many times did you see

that girl? Only like two or three times. Right. Okay. And so that, and then you got into the whole cult golden thing, because I know that you must be into it because you have this ad that that's like specifically what you're looking for. Like, so that kind of scenario definitely turns you on? There are aspects of it that I like, yeah. I'm pretty aware of certain roles that I feel, I guess, would be a good way to put it.

So I turn you on, right? Like, I mean, maybe you like to be the other guy in the relationship. Like, what is it about that experience that is like the turn on for you? Is it about sort of degrading the other guy is about fucking the guy's wife? I know that that's, listen, I have, I've been doing my podcast for three years. I've had every kind of topic on it. And the ones where, you know, the guy's wife is fucking somebody else is like, or the guy's girlfriend is fucking another guy. Like, those are like the most downloaded episodes.

Because so obviously so many people are into that, okay? So like what aspect of the whole cuckling thing is it that that really like turns you on? Because I see it a lot, trust me. It's probably, and this is always why it's the one like, I won't say taboo, but the weird thing for me. Because I try not to live in my, especially nowadays, in as much of my not as healthy mental behavior. but this one kind of borders a little bit on it, which is the, I was always, I've always identified with the desire to be better than everyone else,

while at the same time feeling like I'm the most worthless person ever. And so it's, yeah, I have a lot, I've battled with really poor self-esteem and depression most of my life. And so it came about, what I realized was like I'm good at what I do when it comes to sex for the most part. I try not to brag or anything like that. That makes you feel good about yourself. And especially coming from a background when I was always told, you know, all grown up when I was younger, you're gay.

Right. Women don't like you, blah, blah, blah. And it did kind of come out of that. When I was in high school, I was, and post high school, the dude. dudes who were always super shitty to me. There were a couple dudes that I went to high school with that were fucking assholes and

guess who slept with their girlfriends. Right. Oh, so when you were doing all that cheating? Because I was, you know, I, I'm the the edgy guy, I guess, would be, as it would be referred to. Yeah, or the bad boy. So, so the, especially nowadays, like,

it's not as big of a deal now since everybody in the town's got covered with tattoos and whatnot. But I've been accused of being stylish. I've been told I'm relatively physically attractive. Well, you say you're on a scale of one to ten. I always ask every one of my guests. I don't like that question. Oh, just answer it. You know, one through ten.

I'll say a six. A six? You just said you were attractive and you barely fit. I work. Okay, so I work in the beauty industry. So I'm around really attracting people all day. I help make people look good, especially men. Okay.

But my experience was, you know, I have an above average size penis and I like to have sex. I'm good at what I do. and so you take into that and then the ego trip that it brings that's just kind of how it developed right right totally because it made you feel it was the one area of your life that you could sort of prove to yourself and since you had low self-esteem it's like acting out sexually would sort of feed into that i get it it's like the idea and it's at one point it developed in my brain it's this idea that you know women will leave any guy who is you know it doesn't matter how much money you make how good you are to them, you know, how, you know, interesting you are.

The dude who always wins in the end is the dude who they want to fuck. And that's kind of how, and I'm sorry if I'm using terrible language on your podcast. Are you kidding me? That's not, don't worry about it. Okay, I'm very potty mouth. I love cursing. And so that's kind of where I came out of. And so, like, for a while, especially after I sobered up, I tried to get away from that.

And when I first started seeing women when I was seeing the non-monogamous girl, that kind of came back up again, because that was my ability to take that control because she liked me. But her primary partner, even though he was way far away, even though I was good to her. I watched her, you know, I, I, I filled kind of the fathering role. She had a seven-year-old daughter at the time. And we had a lot in common, we had a lot of fun. But this dude was like her sex idea. And so whenever he was in town, it was, you know, I wasn't around and everything. And no matter what, like, I couldn't do that.

And so to be able to do that for somebody else felt powerful. And so that's kind of where it came out of. So. Right. And that just sort of. made you think even more that the woman stays with the guy who fucks her really well. Exactly. Right.

So you've honed your abilities because you think if as a man that's like where all of your self-worth comes from. So now the girl that you're seeing now and your two relationship people, like do they get it on with each other too? Like how does the whole relationship work? Because I'm assuming it's successful, right? Because you've had the unsuccessful polyamorous relationship that first one. But this one I'm assuming is successful.

You're still sober? yes okay so you're totally sober and like you're in this relationship with one girl you have another girl on the side and then you're on craigslist looking for couples and cuck holding experiences um now do the two girls that you're interested in or that you kind of date do they get it on with each other too like how does the whole relationship work uh no um so a little backstory my current primary partner i was seeing before my former relationship ended she was married at the time. So we didn't really plan on becoming primary partners. I'm just, they were at the tail end of their relationship and so was me and mine, but obviously wasn't as functionally aware of that. So both of those relationships ended, and we kind of ended up seeing each other as primary relationship material, I guess. So she's my girlfriend. We are both Polly. she is very bisexual, so she likes women a lot.

She right now is not currently seeing anyone else, but she dates sometimes. The only other people that she slept with those since her and I have been seeing each other has been women. And so, and we have kind of a DS-based relationship, too. A what? A D.S. Dom sub.

Oh, okay. And what goes down there? Yeah. So the other girl that I'm seeing, my girlfriend and her are friends on Facebook, and so they kind of know each other a little bit, but they're not friends. Okay, so she's never been with your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend's fine with you being with her, even though they kind of know each other. It's not like her friend, right? it's just you can't fuck her friends but she's cool your girlfriend i'm assuming is cool with you like hooking up with couples and doing all that kind of stuff right you see people outside of each other yeah we generally uh we have pretty much have autonomy um she my general thing is they don't i don't clear things with her in the sense of like she'll ask She seems to have like the sixth sense of, because I, I, I, we don't live together, but I stay at her place a lot.

And generally speaking, if she asked me if I'm coming over and I say no, her follow up question is, do you have a date? Which I'm always honest with her if I do. But generally speaking, she doesn't ask too much beyond that. We have a few simple guidelines of behavior to follow, but that's usually for personal safety. Beyond that, we trust each other and kind of, you know, it's kind of, I, I don't, she is welcome to ask any question. I will be honest with any question, but I don't generally go out of my way to tell her the gory details because then sometimes that can be a little uncomfortable. And do you find, because it's polyamory, does that mean that you can have like, like that you're in love with both of those? those girls. Like, it's not just sexual, right? Like, there's like real feelings with both

relationships, right? Yes. I respect both of my partners a lot. Both of them I enjoy spending time with. It's kind of nice because, so me and my girlfriend both work in the same industry. We have a lot in common career-wise. We both perform. So we both get that aspect. And so we have a very conducive relationship. Me and my other partner, we are both vegan. And we both are kind of come from similar backgrounds in other senses. So we, and we like the same music. We kind of do.

So we, like, we do different things that me and my girlfriend do. So she compliments you in ways where your other girlfriend doesn't. So it's kind of like you have like everything that you want. But because you can't find that in one person, you know, you have this other person and then it's like more satisfying. Which I totally, if you think logically like kind of makes sense, right? Because they always say like, oh, if you're looking for somebody like, you're never going to find anybody like perfect. Right. And there's in any relationship, there's always going to be stuff that's maybe lacking, right?

but if you can go and have another relationship with somebody else and sort of pick up the slack of what you don't have in that religion, that becomes like the perfect scenario, right? As long as everybody's cool with it and you sort of have that going on. It's not so bad. Pretty great. Not that bad. No. And that's, I don't like overreaching, but that's generally what I've always accepted, the basis for polyamory to be.

That the acceptance that not any one person can fulfill all of your desires. Right. And that a relationship based on honesty, integrity, and respect allows an opening of that relationship to other relationships that then can fulfill other parts of your life. And that, you know, everybody's got different views on polyamory in the sense of, like, what works. Like, I know some people that don't believe in having a primary partner, that all of your partners are equal. And that's all good for them. And I think that whatever works best for a person, as long as you're maintaining that honesty and integrity and respect, that's the only key part. Right.

And so there's no sort of fear of like abandonment. It's very different than cheating, right? Because it's like that girl knows, even though you're going out with other people and you're able to go and sort of even fall in love with other women, she knows that you're still going to date her. It's not like you would ever leave her for somebody else. because you can be with somebody else, right? I mean, could you ever replace her because, or would it be mainly because it wasn't working out between you and her, not because you sort of met somebody else? No, yeah, I would agree.

So, I mean, obviously, we're all human. We all have things come up. And, you know, it's not to say that Holly relationships, even healthy ones, don't sometimes have bouts of jealousy and, you know, feeling of. feelings of neglect. You know, me and my primary partner have been working through some of those because with the, you know, her most recent partner cheating on her, she is a little skittish, I guess, with the idea that I'm just going to fall in love with someone else and not be in love

with her. And the irony is she's been probably her entire adult life. And so we're just, you know, we work through it. You would think she knows. You would think she gets it, right? because she knows that she's been capable and has probably been in love with two people at the same time, right?

Or is it that she's in love with, like, you said she strictly sees women on the side. So is her polyamory like she has one man and then other women or does she see multiple men? There's been times when she's seen multiple men. Okay.

But as she puts it and I can only use what she tells me, but she says right now, I fulfill all of her male needs that, but she very much likes to see women. But that's not to say that that won't change at some point. Right. So within the time that you're with her, there have been times, though, like you said, just now, because of what happened, that she is a little insecure about your other relationships.

And the way that you keep it going is just by being completely transparent and very honest with each other, right? Yes. More of us. How long have you been dating her? We've been thinking each other since June. Oh, okay, so it's kind of new. Nine months. Right.

Coming up on nine months, yeah. Yeah, because I always wonder, like, because like, listen, like, you know, nine months isn't that long, right? And already there's like this sort of thing that's coming up where she's a little getting a little insecure. Do you think that it is possible? And listen, I thought when I was going to get on the call with you because of your and like all the stuff that you said sexually this would be like a one of my podcasts where you're

just talking about all like your sexual experiences and getting very explicit but really this is more a podcast about polyamory which is very interesting I think absolutely because I think it's something that a lot more people are doing or thinking about or trying you know um and you've been doing it for a while and I just wonder because it's not like you're with someone for five years and it's totally working and it's fine it's like you're with someone you tried it once with someone and it failed now you're trying it again and it seems to be working but now some stuff is coming up

like do you think it's possible for it to just be totally okay and nobody's getting jealous of anybody else and it just works out or is it just like that's unrealistic to think that anything is perfect? I don't think anything's ever perfect but I think it can be better than

more succinct I think relationships that is the case where it's just like there's no real jealousy or anything like that. And again, we are just in a kind of odd space right now, but I don't foresee it becoming a problem. But you said, let me ask you this. So you said that she's a little bit insecure because her other guy cheated on her. Was that the guy that she was with before you? Yeah, that was her.

And she wasn't in a polyamorous relationship with him? No, they were, they were probably the entire time that they had been dating and married. How could he cheat if they were poly? Like, what does that mean when she's like, he cheated on her? Is it that he left her for somebody else? No, he lied to her about it. They,

her and, him and his partner, who he still sees, who is ironically actually the former partner, partner of her former lover that committed suicide. Oh my God. So confusing. Like I need a map and I, this is, you know, nobody could see it.

We would need like a map of all these people. It's so hard to keep track. But anyway, she got, she, they were Polly, but obviously he did something behind her back that she didn't know about sexually speaking, I guess, right? With someone. And then she, how did she find out if he didn't tell her? Because she found out. Okay.

So she found out. And then she was like, okay, there's no more honesty in this relationship. So really that's what it's about. When the honesty goes out the window, you can't really sort of exist in that kind of relationship. Because then it becomes like a normal relationship where someone's cheating on you and you're not trusting somebody. And it's like a fucking nightmare. Exactly. Right.

All relationships, all successful relationships, in my opinion, require honesty and transparency. Totally. And I think friendship, like people have to really just like genuinely like each other as people. you know, I think that's what's missing in a lot of relationships. I know for me, just so you know I'm a sober person for like 14 years. I don't necessarily believe in staying with like one person for 40 years. I've been commitment phobic for most of my life. But I do see like these really great relationships.

I mean, I see mostly regular relationships to be like, for some reason, like horrifying to me. But I do see really good relationships. And to me, what they have in common is that they just really like each other. They're like really good friends. You know what I mean? Like maybe even if they weren't fucking, they'd still be hanging out. And I think a lot of people, you know, sort of couple up for a lot of other reasons than for the fact that they, you know, just generally like the person. And I think that's what really makes a good relationship.

Right? I think it helps, yeah. You know, I think if you marry someone just because the sex is great, I mean, eventually, you know, after a while. if you don't enjoy that person as a person, what the fuck do you have? But those are my friends that I have, and they're not in polyamorous couples. These are like the monogamous couples that are with each other that last, like that, you know, went for the distance and still really like each other. They're just, and, you know, I think that they don't have kids.

I think kids really changes a relationship. And listen, I have a kid right now, but I think that children sometimes change relationships. But anyway, I don't want to get into that. But like your, like with her, it just sounds like, you know, because the trust went out the window. but with you she's still trying to be polyamorous and do what she believes in, right? But it would make sense that she'd be a little

skittish because someone just lied to her. She's got to like, you know, trust is earned. And she just met you. I mean, nine months isn't that long of a time, you know? Exactly. And that's my overall opinion. Like, I will continue to show up in a way

that is genuine and honest. And I've told her, I'm like, if we are going to have this conversation of Polly versus Mono, then we need to have that conversation. And she's stated very succinctly that she does not want to close our relationship. So until she decides to have that conversation with me, I don't consider it what we're doing.

And I will just continue to show up in a way that is honest and compassionate. Right. And she knows, and she's okay, though. She has no sort of jealousy. and that it hasn't come up about this other girl that she knows that you see? I mean, there's been like hints of it here and there but for the most part.

She understands that there are things that I don't get in any other relationship that I do with her. We have incredibly... But let me just ask you that. You don't think that in a way that kind of bothers her? Because she knows she could never give you something.

It's kind of like, you know, when you were saying like your self-esteem was tied to like sexuality because you always felt like somebody would leave you if somebody else was like good in bed. So like imagine sort of being with someone where you know that they have somebody else that is like really good at being whatever it is at something else, right, for them that you could never give them. So I don't know. I would think that that might make anybody a little bit jealous. No? I'm sure. Yeah.

Like I said, I don't believe it just because people are poli that there's there's. absolutely no jealousy at all times. Right. And then when it just comes up, you just have discussions about it. Exactly. Right. And that's been my experience. Right. And what was your longest successful polyamorous relationship? My most recent ex. We were together for four and a half years. Right. And that one was okay. Is that the one you married? No. No. No. Right.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, like, I think you're going to, I don't know, I think it's a little, I think it's like a little bit of a red flag that you're having issues so early on. But did you have those kind of issues early on with your first relationship, polyamorous relationship? Define what you mean by issues. Well, like, where jealousy is coming up with like the basic rules of what the whole thing is about. I don't follow because I don't feel that that's what we're having issues with Right right right what are you having issues with sorry I don't I mean right now is just some you know Small issues with personal Like I guess

Personal self Like self-esteem issues maybe I don't know not even that But like just the idea of like bringing past relationships into our relationship that sometimes happens. Right. Overall, we have, I don't believe I would characterize it as we have issues with, you know, the rules because we've, there's not really, I don't know, I don't believe in rules so much of like guidelines. So yeah, so that's cool. I don't know. I think, I don't know. I just, you know, I love to do updates with gas.

and I always check in like six months a year later to find out what happened. I wonder how this one's going to go down with your primary relationship. It just sounds like there's a little kind of confusion that I would think wouldn't be there. I just think it wouldn't be there. Did you have that kind of stuff with your four-year relationship? What do you mean? You know, you don't want to call it issues, but like the jealousy stuff, did that happen in your four-year relationship as well?

early on we had some jealousy issues yeah right but I guess maybe that so maybe that is more normal right but then when you work through it and that's where the trust comes and maybe that's like what you have to sort of go through to get to the place where you're totally fine and it becomes like a well-o machine right maybe that makes more sense then right to really just be really like realistic about it and like you said as human beings are they're going to people are going to have feelings about things. So maybe that's been my experience. What?

That's been my experience, but yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. I mean, listen, I don't know about this stuff. So it's just like I'm just learning as you're talking and I'm just trying to analyze it and see like how it works, how it does it. At first I was thinking, oh, like warning signs. Like I don't think this relationship's going to last because there's already stuff. But, you know, when you say about how it sort of happened in the past, I could also look at it like, no, it actually makes sense that in the beginning of a relationship, you know,

that how else do you really learn to trust somebody and sometimes things come up but if you talk through it and everything like that's sort of the key to getting to the place where you could really be in especially that kind of relationship right so maybe it's actually a good sign that you're it's coming up and you could work through it and once you make it through then you could be you know in a very successful relationship and those things maybe won't come out come up because trust is earned right I mean no one just trust somebody like you have to really know them right especially after what happened to her it might take her a little bit. It just makes sense.

So no red flags, no issues. I think I said that. Anyway. That's the hope. That's the hope. You know, and I mean, the one thing I got out of my previous relationship to the irony is like, so we were both seeing. So both her primary partner that my ex is still seeing is the guy was one of,

the one other guy she was seeing when we split. obviously I was being my primary partner now at that time as well. When we split, it had to do with things that were coming up via our relationship. We weren't, but part of it was we were not, I don't know, I have had a lot of introspection in the last, you know, six months or whatever since we split. and, you know, some of it came out of the fact that we had not been very sexually active with each other for a while here and there. A lot of life had changed. And what my experience has been is, you know, relationships continue to grow, and sometimes we grow apart.

And that is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just a life thing, right? Well, exactly. And so my experience out of that has been sometimes, it's been my first ever relationship that has ended with nothing being something that somebody did that was wrong. And it took me a long time to get to that point where I didn't personalize, like, responsibility or try to put it on her. Right. It was we just stopped working.

And I don't think, and I think that that generally is the experience. for me that is where people view relationships maybe in a light. You know, I'm a big believer in the Dan Savage philosophy that, you know, if you're really only gauging a successful relationship by dying, what of you dying? That's stupid. No, I totally agree. I say that all the time. Like people think divorce or endings of relationship was so bad.

But, I mean, that's just normal to think that you're going to like be on the same. path in the same page with one person and walk the same, you know, for so many years, like it's just not the way that it goes sometimes. Some people have that, but a lot of people don't. And when it sort of ends and people go their separate ways, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just a part of life and that's the way that it goes and it's okay, you know. So I'm going to, let's wrap up this podcast. My podcast is normally about an hour long, but before we ended, I just want to find out whether your ad from Craigslist. I mean, I, you emailed you when you're on my show.

But like, have you had any other hits from that ad or do you have any kind of like, you know, hookups that you're going to do or have you hooked up with anybody because of that ad that you placed? Not currently. No, it's actually funny. There's a girl that I've, we've been like satellites with each other for a little bit in the sense of she and I matched on a dating site, and we were talking for a little while,

and we were originally got a hook up. And her ex-play partner is one of my most recent ex-girlfriend partners. And so she got like super weird about it because she still has feelings for the dude and my ex was still seeing him at the time. So I can't even. I have to tell you, like, do you know how many? Because I, like, do you know how many times, like, you were so intertwined with people. Like, you need to look outside of your state, I think, or like outside of your city.

Because, like, everybody you know knows somebody and is an ex is like so confusing and hilarious at the same time. I mean, do you notice that? No, tell me about it. It makes my life very, I don't want to say rough because rough life, but no, it definitely adds some interesting characteristics to it. But anyways, she is in a current situation with a guy that she sees that's very vanilla and she's into some more hard edge kind of stuff. and so I guess she was cruising Craigslist and she saw it

but so she decided to send me a message to let me know she saw me but beyond that not currently oh so you feel though like maybe because she saw that and now she knows and her guy's so vanilla like maybe she'll be like hit you up well maybe uh potentially just because the guy she was seeing over the summer when we started talking again because we hadn't talked in almost a year probably and she had reached out to me because she saw my

I don't even remember why but we had started talking over the summer and it was right around me and my exes split and she we had obviously talked about that kind of play before and the guy she was seeing at the the time was, said he was open to it. So she was reaching out to me to see if I'd be interested in being her bowl.

And so we talked about it. And then she had a, she had somebody closer who passed. And so we kind of. Yeah. And so as those things tend to do. So. Yeah. If you.

Beyond that. Yeah. But if you get people like outside and just do. virtual stuff. I don't know. But, you know, I think it's like I have a lot of people on my show who advertise on Craigslist and I think it's hard sometimes to meet like real women that are really into stuff. I mean, it's a lot easier if you're looking for gay action because there's a lot of guys on Craigslist. You know, I think what I hear across the board is typically it's much harder to, you know, hook up with, you know, real females. But, you know, you've done well. And because

you're in that community and everyone's so polyamorous, which means everyone could have like five people like you know the odds that you will always be able to find people are pretty good and you could just stay in your town and hook up all the time so you know I don't know even why you need that ad but I guess it just adds another layer but anyway um thanks for calling into my show good luck with your ad I'd love to hear what's going on with you and your girlfriend like six months or now or at the end of the year I always do a where are they now thing so we'll check back in with you All right. I appreciate it. All right. Thanks, Rob. Thanks so much for calling in.

Yeah, thank you. Good luck with everything. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person.

And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letter. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it. it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total,

strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show?

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