Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 169 - Craig is Totally Into BDSM

Episode Date: March 13, 2017

Craig has engaged in both sadistic and masochistic relationships and he calls in to explain all of it. How did he first realize he was hooked on the bdsm lifestyle? What were his early experiences like? What kinds of things turn him on besides breast slapping, spanking, face sitting, fisting, throat f***ing? Tune in to find out, plus hear a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your reflect lie. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kaye and Tommy.

Hey, welcome to a strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast, follow the show at Strict Anonymous or follow me at Cartoon Therapy. If you haven't subscribed to the show, subscribe to the show. And if you can, write a review. I love to get reviews. I love reading the reviews. I even like when my listeners send me emails and tell me what they think about my show.

I have a lot of listeners who do that. Also, I'm always looking for people to call into my show. So if you want to be on my show, this is a call-in-advice show where I talk to people about their secret lives, their interesting lives. I also give people advice. I really do my show because I like to help people. So I love to, and I like to analyze people's problems. So if you have a problem, too, that you want to talk about and your friends don't want

to talk about it anymore, or you have no friends. You could call into my show. Send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast. at gmail.com and I'll have you on. I have a guy on today who was a listener and he sent me an email and he's into all kinds of things. He's into S&M, both sides of it. He's been a sadist. He's been a masochist. And I'm wondering if maybe, and I think we talk about this, whether like most people that are into S&M, you know, go back and forth with those roles or switch at some point or typically they stay just on one side. But he does both. He's been into the sadist side of things as well as

the massacus side of things, which includes face sitting and throat fucking and fisting. And I mean, the throat fucking leads to gagging and throwing up and beating the shit out of each other and all that kind of good stuff. He's been to Dominatrix. He's been in a lot of relationships. He's been married. This isn't a secret life. I mean, he's pretty open about what he's into and he's been into everything that

he's been into for most of his life. it started pretty early on. He knew he was into it. And so we talk all about it. So I'm just going to get right back on with Craig. I think that's his name. Yeah, I'll be right back on with Craig. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. send us an email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name and remember everything is strictly anonymous. Hey Craig,

welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast around Kathy. How are you? Great. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for coming on my show. Actually, you email me because you were a listener of the show. And, you know, sometimes every now and then I get an email that's just like to me filled with so much good stuff, you know. Not that, listen, I find all of my calls fascinating, you know,

but the summer extra because they have like, you know, 50 things in them. And your email was one of those. So, you know, it's hard to know where I would start with you because you've done so much and you're into so much. But so I figure like the best way to go about it is to start like, you know, when you were really young and got into everything. You know, you're into S&M, right? both sides of it, right? Yes. But when you were younger, you started more so as a masochist, right? Like, and you were like really into that role.

It wasn't until you were like later in life that you got into the other side of it, right? Oh, no, no. It's the reverse. In terms of the things that I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I definitely acted more like a sadist in the beginning. Oh, wait. Is the sadist the one that, you know what, give me the correct definition first.

Okay, so. The most basic definition would be a say to someone who gains sexual pleasure from hurting another person. And a masochist would be somebody who gains pleasure from being hurt. Oh, okay, right. So I just had it backwards in my head. I, for some reason, I'm thinking the masochist is the one. Right, right. And that's what you started out.

Like very early on, right? Like when you were like in high school and all of your first sexual experiences, right, were sort of. Well, yes. I think it was more of a. it was something I fantasized about, but I really didn't know how to bring it up with people. I also didn't really have a ton of experience in high school, but there were two women, girls, I guess. I dated in high school who were, like, super aggressive in certain ways. Like, they would, when we would make out, they would, like, bite my lips and pull them.

And, you know, it really, it just turned me on so much. they would leave me like really literally bruised and swollen, you know? And that was just really wild. One of them would, you know, she would just tease me all the time. And I didn't really understand what she was that she was getting off on, like getting me hard, getting me worked up. And then, you know, the date would end or we'd split up and she would leave me a blue ball. And I had, I didn't understand that that was part of what she got off on. Until later in life, you know, you learn about different things.

Right, both sides of it. That people get off on the power trip, you know, the mind suck. And, you know, 16 years old, I didn't really, you know, I was kind of like on a roller coaster. I didn't even know I was on a roller coaster. Right, but you were, though, before you even had these experiences, that's what you fantasized about, right? So at some point, you realized, like, this is what you were turned on by. Yeah, 100%. but it was,

it was like a feeling, you know, it was like, like, you would see, like, I would see like the, I don't know,

any sort of imagery of like a really powerful woman, whether it's like, you know, the way they're dressed, you know, like boots, leather chains, you know,

like I just got the feeling that this was something that was appealing to me. Right, like that's where you, like, that's where your attention was drawn and you would get, like,

turned on by that. Yes, totally, totally. And honestly, any form of power exchange, you know, even if it's like a psychological one, like somebody is dressed in a way that's very provocative and they can kind of... Control you with their... Exactly, or appearance, sensuality or, yeah, that sort of stuff. How old are you now? I'm 38.

A 38. So like when you were young, right, before that, was like, was there porn readily available? And like, is that how you stumbled upon it or was it? Like, how did you first, like, as a really young person that, you know, maybe did, because you didn't have a lot of experience, right? Like, your first memories of realizing you were turned on. Was it confusing to you? And, like, do you remember how it came about? Like, was it just people walking down the street?

No, I was very young and I watched, you know, watching cartoons on the Saturday. morning and then it goes into the afternoon and like that weekend afternoon programming around that time was like real low budget or kind of anything goes and at one time i saw these women's wrestling um and it was you know very campy stuff but you know when you're that young you don't understand camp and i just watched you know these women who are dressed like in a very biker heavy metal kind of way and it's like these two pretty blonde girls who look like, you know, kind of

that spandex kind of look and the heavy metal girls just beat the shit out of them and it was the hottest thing I ever saw in my life I wanted to you know, I don't say this in such literal terms but I wanted to

beat a shit out of these pretty girls and I wanted these viker girls to beat the shit out of me and that was a very, you know, it was so clear cut. So from a young age, you know, maybe I wasn't watching pornography, but I definitely

the power dynamic sexuality, violence, all those things came together. And then that's what you would be in your brain, and that's what you would use in your brain, you know, like imagination to get yourself off when you were like jerking off before you even

had experience. And I find it interesting, but I think this is very true. And I say this a lot of other, in different ways. But, like, I really believe that when you start to think about something or you're pondering it or you're open to it, like, like, right? Like, it's interesting that you met two girls in high school, right? You weren't putting it out there that you like that kind of a thing, right? But you did wind up meeting two girls?

Or did you? I mean, no, right? I definitely was a little, I don't know. I probably put something out there. Yeah. I mean, what I was into is definitely like the heavy metal look, imagery. I used to, you know, draw violent pictures. You know, I definitely gravitated towards a certain aesthetic.

And I guess I was put, I know I was putting it out there, but I didn't know the specifics of what I even wanted, what I was comfortable with. That's why it wasn't very, it wasn't until later in my 20s that I really got to, truly dive into this stuff. And now, so when you got into those first two girls, didn't one of them beat the shit out of you in a taxi cab? I mean, I know some details because you explained them to me in the email. Wasn't that one of like our early on experience?

And what did you mean she beat the shit of you in? No, that was crazy. And you know what? I should have told you ahead of time. Like, I think I want to save that for later in life. I feel like that's something I'm still figuring out, you know? that or that story like, you know, what happened between me and her, like, you know, you just think it's like, for your, for my whole life, I thought it was, well, here's a crazy thing to happen,

you know, as a teenager. And then later on, you know, in my 30s, I'm like, I think that person sexually assaulted me. Oh, I get it. Right, right. And you're still not sitting with it properly. Like, you haven't sort of come to total terms with it yet. I'll be honest. Like, only in the past.

past year or two did I realize like oh again I think about things that happened you know in the immediate aftermath

like oh okay that's why those things were happening to me because I because this traumatic thing it happened and I had no idea what it was

you know it's not like any you know so that so I couldn't even tell you a good story about that right

but what age were you when that happened 15 or 16 right but you think that that had to do with everything that came

after like the girl's biting you and all that's up and why that turned you on do you think it all stemmed from that or no because you were kind of into the violence kind of the women wrestling thing was was like many was many years before that. That was like pre-high school right it is kind of interesting though right that like you sort of had this desire right and then attracted this scenario into your life that was not what you wanted right that was an extreme but was like in the same realm. It's kind of like interesting in some sort of weird psychological way, right, that you're going to figure out and you could call my podcast two years from now

and tell us what you've been. It's heavy shit, I think, in a way, right? It is, but I feel like, you know, I turned out fine. That was okay. It was a crazy thing that happened, but I could today reenact it. And that would be cool. That would be awesome. I would be fun, you know, and it would be probably more painful.

older, right. Yeah, exactly. I could engage in that kind of play in a more intense way because I, you know, I've wrapped my head around. Right, but I mean, like people will say the same thing. Like, I think it's kind of like the same thing. Whenever somebody's like a victim to something, I think, you know, what they do and what's healthy in a way, right?

Like maybe it's to like get to the place in life where they could sort of recreate that scenario, but be in charge and take the control away from like that other person and bring it back to themselves because it is about like sort of losing control, you know? Yeah, 100%. So I think that that's great that you're at that place, you know, with that situation. But, you know, so, all right, so you get into like, so you have these two girls. How will you explain the fact that you're like walking around with like bruised, swollen, bloody limbs?

Like, would anyone ask you questions? Well, fortunately, for better or for worse, you know. know, they'd give me hickies too. So then everything just kind of, it's like, oh, you have a girlfriend, you make out, you give you hickies. And it's like, in a way that the hickie is like a distraction from, you know what I mean? Right, at that age, right. Yeah, yeah, that's.

Yeah, they're more thinking of like what had to do with the sex. They're not probably even putting the two and two together maybe that the lip thing was as well, right? Yeah, well, one thing is so obvious that the other stuff is more subtle. It's like, you know, if you have a bruise, you know, it's something you feel. It's not something that other people can, it's not a big difference from the norm, you know. It feels more intense to the person who has it than it does in the outside world. Right, right, right. But Hickey is like, you know, you've got skin and now it's purple.

And so everybody can see and focus on. Right. And so in high school, those were your experiences, right? And then you moved on to college, right? And then you really got into the whole dominant thing, right? And you got into a lot of stuff. And I'm assuming we could get into all of that. I mean, I could give you the list and then you could just go.

It was like handcuffs, face sitting. Oh, face and breast slapping, spanking, pinning women down hair, pulling, fisting, and particularly throat fucking, which you said have escalated to the point of, you know, gagging, choking, vomiting. So let's talk about all that. Okay. Well, the last two were post-college, but pretty much everything else. Yeah, like, I was like, okay, I like this stuff.

This is what's turning me on. And then by the time I was in college, I did have access to the internet, and you could see like, oh, okay, yeah, you know, it was mostly pictures and stories. And I was like, okay, I'm totally into this stuff. This is what, you know, I go back to over and over, and I started dating this girl. And I think we both, you know, we both had this very, we had good chemistry. And I think we both liked rough sex. So, you know, over the course of three years that we were roughly three years we were together,

we got to, like, you know, handle each other more and more roughly. And because we were a couple, we could, you know, feel safe with each other. And then just kind of, I wish at the time I had been able to verbalize things, but it more just would happen. You do a little more, you do a little more, and then, you know, she's like pulling my hair while we're having sex. And then we would maybe talk about other people that we knew that did crazy things. I mean, kind of laugh about it, but then we'd have sex,

and all of a sudden she would be on top of me, you know, riding me, having sex, and then I would just start to slap her breasts. And then she would just make a noise like she enjoyed it. And then it just became like, I'm going to grab it. I'm onto your breath. It's really hard and fuck you really hard. And, you know, the next day, she would joke and say to me, you know, it hurt to put my bra on. And that was just the biggest turn on.

And I could tell that it turned her on because, you know, A, you know, there's like a smile and kind of like, ha-ha, that was pretty funny that happened. But also, like, she's not following it up with don't go so hard next time. you know, weird, like, just keep doing these things. And I guess, you know, when you're a couple, you have the luxury of being really intuitive. So there would be nights where, you know, we'd kind of be a little flirty. And then they're like, I'm going to really, I'm going to fuck you up tonight, you know, jokingly. And then you'd go to bed and then just, I'm going to spank you really hard until you start making noises like it's getting too intense, you know? Like where you're playing.

You're like acting like you're in an S&M relationship. You're like, ooh, I'm bending you over my knee. I'm spanking you. And then you really start laying into the person. And then you hear them like, you hear the tone in people's voices change. I guess that's what I pay attention to a lot. I pay attention to my partner a lot. And where things go from like, oh, I'm a sexy girl.

You're so turned on by me. And it's like, oh, shit. Ow. This is really hot. Oh. You know, that kind of line. And that's really, I really like to be there in that area of, like, whatever you call, play, you know, where you're super turned on and almost, almost to the point of, like,

you need things to stop. Like, I really like being there. And I don't know. But that golfer would let you go. As far as you wanted, was there a point that she stopped? And how long did you date her for her? Oh, close to three years. together.

I was still not comfortable saying, I want to do this to you. I want to do that to you. So instead it was like, oh, I bought these handcuffs and it's like, do you want to try it on me or should I try it on you? And eventually we both did it to each other. And it's kind of a, I don't want to say sad. It's just like that's the reality of like young relationships and like early 20s. And you're not, we weren't capable of saying, you know, I want to pull your pants down and stick my tongue up your asshole, you know?

Right. You know what I mean? Like, and that's a shame because we only got to do that a little bit, you know, which was super hot, you know. But there were certain times where we did get really intense. Like we were traveling abroad together and she was sitting on my face and she was starting to grind on like my nose like she was. like she was trying to get herself off. It was really hard, and, you know, the force, and I felt something in my nose crack, and I was like, oh, my God,

I hope there's not blood everywhere, you know? There wasn't, but my nose was fucked up, and I was, like, running, and, like, it was, like, congested, like, as you get, like, damaged the sinus or something. We ended up having to go to a doctor who was kind of hilarious. That was really wild. But you like that, I mean, because you got totally into, like, that's like called face sitting, right? We're like, almost like being suffocated, but you're into that as well, right?

That's a little bit of the other side of things, right? Yeah. So then I would, you know, I think face sitting is really hot. I like it as, you know, like a form of oral sex that's also very punishing and it's very much about endurance. and, you know, in a perfect, like, you could do it as, you know, like, just from a physical perspective, you're sitting on this person's face and they have to service you and, like, you know, carry your weight. But in a great scenario, that the girl on top starts to be more focused on coming than paying attention to whether or not you're breathing. And then, you know, I have to keep going down on her and, like, actually lift her up and push her all.

off so I can get a breath. And it's really hot when she reasserts herself, you know, like my college girlfriend would, she was really into pulling my hair. So, you know, she would get on top. And she really liked to, I guess, use that as like a handle or, you know, a leash or whatever. To keep your face put, right? Yeah, exactly. So you couldn't move.

Yeah, she got really angry at me once. And I cut my hair really short. And even that becomes a hot. you know, that becomes an erotic thing where she's like, don't ever do that again. I really want to pull your hair, you know, and I'm not necessarily into having my hair pulled, but it becomes one of those things because it's the dynamic of the couple organs.

Right, right, right. And now with that girlfriend, you did everything, but you didn't start with, like, you said the fisting and the throat fucking, like, you did that, like, later. Like, that wasn't a part of that really, that through your relationship? Yeah, after that, relationship ended. Then I got more into those things. I got a, actually one woman, let me do that to her.

And then it was like, I was all in. That was great. I had seen some pornography about that. And it was weird because it made me uncomfortable because it looked like the guy I was really disrespecting the women and treating them badly. But I kept watching it. I kept coming back to it, you know, like fucking them in the mouth. They're choking and there's tears and they're spitting up.

and there's like these copious amounts and gruel and occasionally throwing up and I'd be like, this guy's fucked up but I can't watch him, you know? And it's one of those things where you have to come to terms with yourself, you know? But how did the girl bring it out? Like, so when you, after that relationship,

did you ever go looking like on Craigslist for women or like just because you wanted to get specific and knew what you liked at that point? So you went out. Or did you just find people like that? No, I did it. I just found people like that. This is probably like 2001 at this point, what we were talking about.

So, you know, I went out with this, I used to, I went out into a club. I met this woman. She took me home and, you know, we're fooling around. And she's like, listen, I can't have sex. I can't have intercourse with you. You know, and I was like, that's fine. You know, I don't mind. We can do lots of other things.

I just met her that night. It wasn't like I. if someone says they're uncomfortable with something, that's fine. So she's like, you'll like this. And she gets on her back and hangs her head off the side of the bed. And she's like, put your dick in my mouth. And so she grabbed my ass cheeks and just like coaling me in and pumping my dick into her. And it was awesome.

It was like, I've seen this done in pornography and this girl is totally into this. And, you know, I bang my dick all the way down her throat. It was so awesome. And I was like, it's one of those things that once this door is opened, that's it, it's open. It's like open possibility in my life. This can happen. I can fuck a woman like this. And, you know, basically, if you present, I would meet other people.

I'd present myself as someone who enjoys being dominant in bed. And then that would be one of the things I would do. You know, we would be having oral sex And I'd maybe, you know, grab them by the hair or by the throat and, you know, not like start jackhammering right away, but so holding someone steady and I almost almost always was met with really positive reception. So. Right. Obviously, probably even with women that maybe had never done it before, did like some of them say like, wow, that was the first time and it was like so hot?

right I guess so yeah yeah and then I met a couple I was with a couple different people who I guess you know they were into it and then we were if they're really into it then you can get really extreme and that's when I started to come across these other things like this one woman would just produce like just unbelievable amounts of drool and saliva and this thick white viscous fluid you know, would just come, you know, like coughing up out of her throat, and it would drip down her breasts and on her thighs, and she would say to me, oh, God, that's, oh, that's gross. And I would make her not clean herself off, you know,

where I would scoop it up and rub it on her breasts or rub it on her pussy. And I tell her, I was like, you fucking leave it there. And it was really fun. It was really exciting. You know, it was great, you know. She had like a, she had, I guess, a short afro, and I could grab a handful of it and just pump into her mouth and you just choke and spit up. And we both were having an amazing time, you know. I believe if you treat people well, then it's okay to do like crazy stuff.

Yeah, because they trust you and there's a, like, somebody once said, like, the best kind of dirty sex is like clean dirty sex or something like. around that. Like, you know, it's like, you could, if you trust somebody and like somebody and you're cool with somebody, then you could be as dirty as you want and it takes away the dirty dirty. You know what I mean? Because it's not like you're doing it in a back alley with some stranger not telling anyone, right? Like, if it's on the up and up and you're both into it, you could just like do what you want, but you don't have to feel terrible about it, like, freaked out about it afterwards, right? I would assume you didn't feel there was no, like, confliction for you, right? Because this was what you were into. No, no, not at all.

And actually that woman, she would say things that in the heat of the moment, I was like, I couldn't tell if she was being antagonistic with me, which was really fun. Like what would she say? In the, like when we were having intercourse, she'd be like, you know, come on, fuck me harder. Come on, fuck me deeper. You know, like, she was really into it. We were having a great time, but there's like this little thing in the back of my mind, like, am I not fucking you hard enough?

you know, and I would just bang the living daylights out of her and she would just be, you know, happy. But then the next day she would say, oh, my God, I'm so bruised. Oh, my pussy's so sore and all that stuff. And I'd be like, oh, Jesus, thank God. I hope you're hurt because you're fucking working me like a dog. But that's the turn on to you, right?

For you, right? That's what you like. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. Would she ever vomit? Like, I mean, do you get into the vomit thing? too? I wouldn't say I'm into the vomit, but I have been with one woman who, while she never admitted it, she did vomit with multiple times, and all she would do is just like, you know,

grab a napkin and, you know, wipe it off the floor and just go right back to sucking my dick. Right, so it didn't bother her. But it wasn't like necessarily part of the turn on, but it just happens because it's, because of what the nature of it, the physical nature. She was very into things that got into the humiliation zone. I feel like, so this is a different woman, you know. So this woman I met on Craigslist, she's probably the first person that I ever got together with where we did, like, power exchange. What is that all about? Well, where it wasn't solely me roughing her up.

she would hurt me as well. Whatever, take turns or just experience different things. So she was the one who would throw up sometimes. And she actually had a foot fetish, which was amazing. I've never even really heard of a woman who was into feet, you know. And I remember her commenting a couple of times that my feet were really nice. And she would say they were like really smooth and soft. And I was like, oh, okay.

Maybe it's because I grew up in the city, and I always had to wear shoes. I didn't run around. You know, she grew up in a more rural place. So I guess she, I always assumed that, like, you know, her feet were whatever, calloused or tougher or something like that. And then I thought to myself, oh, maybe this girl is really into feet. Okay, I'm going to try something out.

And so one night I'm having sex with her. She's, I'm fucking her from behind. She's doing it. doggy style. And I'm like, I think she was, she was on my bed with her, you know, up in the air. I'm standing on the floor and I'm sucking her. I was like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to put my foot up there.

I'm going to step on her face. I'm going to like do something kind of humiliating, but I'm going to give her what she wants. And she loved it. She just started slamming her ass back into me harder and then she grabbed my foot and start biting and sucking on one of my toes. And I almost lost it right there. It was a great experience. experience, you know, like one of those things, you know, you just try something in the heat of the

moment. And it worked out. It was great. Yeah, you know, I've had men that were, I see a lot of foot worship. It's not like a, it's a common fetish. I have to say, I see tons of them on Craigslist, and I've had a couple of them on my show, but never a woman. So if there's any women. But of course there's going to be women that are into it, right? I mean, why would it there be? And so you're not, so I'm assuming when you're doing all this stuff like you're, like you're, like, you're, like that one girl you dated for three years. And then when did you have another long-term relationship? Were you just seeing multiple people that you were doing this with,

like sort of just dating or just sleeping around? So that was like my three years was my college relationship. I had another relationship that was kind of just a shitty one. I wouldn't say anything could happen there. And then I dated another woman for about a year. we lived together she you know we lived together for about a year

and we had tons of sex and mostly with me as a dominant partner and you know it's one of those things where uh I think she just was

she just liked to fuck all the time she liked to be a sex object and she was really into anal sex not not my not my dick, but maybe having like a toy in there while I have sex and her, and she would let me eat her ass

sometimes, but, you know, I think that was kind of still like a subservient position for me to be in, so she really didn't let me do that too often. And, you know, at that time, I was still feeling like reluctant to put myself out there like that, like, hey, you know, it would be really hot if you you know, slap me around and, you know, sat on my face and made me eat your pussy, you know, like... But even though you had those experiences and knew

you liked it, you just didn't feel comfortable to sort of own it, like with yourself or with other people? I was other people with myself. I knew exactly what I wanted to. Right, right. So put it out, I mean, I've had girls straight up tell me, I'm not going to do that.

Why would you want that? You know, I've had, like, like said, hurtful experiences as well. I mean, it's cool to, I like coming on here and telling you about all the awesome sex stuff, but there have been some sad moments where it's like, oh, you think I'm less of a man because I want that.

Like, I've had that experience too. I've had a girl say, I will never do that for you. What was it? And when was that when, like, was this in the middle of all?

Like, when you were with that three-year relationship, like, you know, because you did say that most women, nine out of ten, were totally into it. You found that they were really game for what you were into, and they did like to sort of be dominated, right?

Yeah, really, when it comes to me being dominant, I felt like I had like, I don't know, 90%, 95% acceptance rate. Right. And then when it comes to me being mass, I would consider myself more masochistic than submissive. You know, I'm not really, I'm more. What's the difference between masochistic and submissive? Is massacistic there's got to be some sort of pain involved? Yeah, yeah. That would be like, okay, this is a good way to put it.

I think I could get kicked in the balls by any number of people, and it would be hot and awesome, but I don't want to, like, have a relationship with them, be nice to them, or, like, do things for them. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, because I've had these BSDM people on it. When they explain this whole subservient submissive thing, that submissive person, like you said, does all this other, it's not just about sex.

There's a lot of other stuff that gets into it. Right, like there's a relationship. Yeah, totally. The psychological aspect. And I don't feel that for... It's just sexually you like to be submissive, though, as long as there's, like, a pain involved. So it's not really, you were right.

Like, the right term wouldn't be submissive. But I have been to, you know, I've seen professional dominatrixes before. And, you know, you walk in and you're like, hey, listen, how you doing? It's a pleasure to meet you. You know, I'm really into, you know, getting punched in the nuts, you know, and physically manhandled. But please don't talk to me in a mean way. I don't want any emotional or psychological distress.

I'm here to have fun. This is what I enjoy. And I'm really happy to be here. And honestly, man, that is awesome. That usually is a great experience. Then that person is like, awesome. Let's have some fun. You know, if they enjoy that kind of play, then it's killer.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah, totally. Now, let me ask you this when you're doing that, when you're with the dominatrix and stuff. Like, do you get anything in your ass? Like, is there any of that kind of stuff that goes down when you're being masochistic? I've had that happen, but that really doesn't turn me on. One woman that I was with, she really wanted to bang me in the ass with a strap on.

That's not part of it for you. That's not for me. I mean, I've had a girl eat my ass before. That was a great experience, but, you know, that wasn't, that's not the same thing. But when did you have your first sort of experience where somebody, really hurt your feelings. Like you said, and I'm assuming it wasn't when you were being the dominant,

like, sadist person is more as when you showed the masochistic side of you, that you felt rejection from women? Yeah, definitely. And when did that first happen? Like, what was the first experience where that happened? How old were you?

Maybe about 22. Uh-huh. You know, I dated a girl. and I said, would you do this? Would you sit on my face? You know, and it was just like, I just got 20 questions. Why do you like that? Why do you think that is? Right. She was an analyzer.

You know, and it's like, just like, imagine having someone nitpick your sexual preferences. That's the opposite of the turn on. That's like really a way to feel like put under a microscope and, you know, let's to feel bad about, like, because, like, why she's, she's kind of like, what she's sort of implying is there's something wrong with you, right? And she's trying to get to that with all those questions. So on some level, you know that, right? So it is a real disc, right? Like, yeah. And it's like, I don't know. I think maybe it was really like, I don't want to do that. So I'm going to kind of make you feel bad about it so that you don't ask for it again. Yeah, but it might have not even

been that manipulative. She might have just been really freaked out and thought like, oh, is this like a red flag? Does this mean? mean something about him that I you know because like a lot of times people you're dating people and they're like thinking they're going to marry you one day you know even if it's the second date do you know what I'm saying so they're like interviewing like you for the rest of your like for that rest of your life position so I think sometimes it's a little bit about that and if somebody's not into somebody that's that hardcore something like that could be like wow I can't be with this person long term so it might have not I mean you were young right and vulnerable and you're just putting your it's very

vulnerable, I think, to really show parts of yourself that are very private like that, right? Look, I have to have a show where people change their name and their voices just to be honest, right? Because people are so judgmental about this stuff. So I think it is very hard to put yourself out there and you were like really young and sort of being really honest about who you were and what you were into. And when somebody does that, it must feel really terrible. But I think probably looking back if you were like older and felt more secure in what you were doing and who you were, right? that just comes with being an older person, you'd realize that it probably didn't mean anything about you, right?

Like, and you could understand it from her perspective, right? Like I said, because she's probably looking at you, like, can I marry this man? And if he's into, like, if he's into S&M and she's not, like that might freak her out

because she doesn't know what that means, you know? Right. But you take it as a way to like, oh my God, like something's wrong with me, which is very understandable. You know, that's like that miscommunication thing.

that, you know, we, no one, and this is the shit that fucks us up for, you know, many years as a part of being a human being, right? Yeah, yeah, totally. So is that why you kept, and then, I'm assuming it must have happened maybe a couple times because you kept that part of you a little bit under wraps, right, because of these experiences?

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. It's like, it's an easy dig to, like, question a man's masculinity because he wants those sort of things that, like, that thing cuts to the bone quick. Yeah, I'm sure. Sure. And then if you couple it with the fact that somebody did sort of take away your masculinity in the taxi cab, right? Like that there was a little bit of that sort of taken from you. So I feel like it could also be triggering like feelings about that as well. And that's probably why when women weren't into it or put you down, you took it like in a way that it was, you know, maybe you were more sensitive to it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's a good point.

Yeah. So, like, what were your experiences, like, the other experiences with the women? Like, what did you ask and what did they say to make you feel so, like, terrible about what you were into? I mean, just one woman. She literally said, I'm never going to sit on your face. Uh-huh. You know, that's a pretty, that's like, you got to swallow that pill, you know? that was a rough one to hear because it's like hey I'm into this and they're like I'll never do that

I don't know it's weird it's like it's more weird to say that because like were you even saying like I want you to sit on my face and suffocate me or were you just like I want you to sit on my face because like doesn't everybody sit on someone's face like that's a part of normal sex too no am I wrong or am I like into S&M and I don't know it like I've sat on many people's faces like I think it's just, isn't it, it's been a part of my sexual experience. It's, to me, it's very vanilla. But, I mean, was it, were you explaining it in a way like, I really want you to sit on my face?

Because, listen, I know the kind of face sitting you're into, and that's a whole other thing, right? Like you said, it's a part, there's a lot more to it than just regular sitting on someone's face. Right. Yeah, yeah. Of course. It's like, it's a power exchange.

Yeah. But did you explain that to that girl? Or were you just, like, sort of tiptoeing around and just wanted her to see? sit on your face and she was like, no. No, I was definitely I was clearer about it being a thing. Right, right, right. And she was like, no way.

Right, right. And, you know, one girl, this woman I dated, she would indulge it from time to time and she actually provided me with one super hot experience once. She laid down on the bed and she pulled her pants down. She took out a vibrator and she's like,

don't stop eating my ass until I come you know and I just got down on my knees right I went down

on her ass and she played with herself and it was like super hot but I remember that same woman we were

we were kind of in the process of breaking up and I remember she kind of used it as a as like I don't want to say

she used it against like a bargaining oh okay go on like a bargaining or manipulation thing. In what sense? What do you mean?

In that she said she would not indulge in any dominance herself unless we were going to get back together. Oh God. Yeah, that's the one. You start playing games like that

ruins everything. That's so dumb. Yeah. But she said, you know what? And that's made it easier to, I guess, break up and be like,

okay, we've got to get out of this situation. She got into really really interesting dig, I guess, when near the end, you know, I think she was sitting on my chest and she grabbed my head and she's like, like smothering me with her breasts. I like suffocation play from a variety of different positions. And she's like, you like that? You like my tips like I'm your fucking mommy. And it's like, oh, God.

I don't know. It turned you off. so mean. Listen, some people might find that to be, don't you think that could be a turn-on to somebody else? Listen, I'm well aware

of that type of play. I've indulged in like some some other, you know, breastplay that is like that. Like mommy thing, right. This was like meant to say like, I don't respect you.

What the fuck's wrong with you? You know what I mean? Like, why, like... Well, how long do you date her? We lived together for a year. Oh, she was a year. So you kind of probably knew at that point that she had never sort of said that before or anything, right? Yeah, no, no.

This felt calculated. And she was a very calculated person in general. So I don't, I didn't feel like this was being said in the throes of... Right. Did that just ruin your heart on? This is a real, like, you know, this is a mean thing to say. say and it worked. And especially, like, it's even more kind of sicker if you really think about it.

Like, she got you totally hard. She got you totally aroused. And then it's like, talk about blue balls. I mean, because you like real blue balls, but this was like, mean. This was, I mean, unfortunately, that wasn't part of it. This is just like, you know, it wasn't a relationship. That it ruined. She didn't say it while you were.

None of that stuff. No, but didn't she say that while you were having sex? Did it ruin the sex for you? Yeah, we were in the middle of sex stuff. Yeah, I, you know, forgive me. It's like 12, 13 years ago. But, you know, and that's what sticks out. Like, hearing that and being like, wow, you've never said anything like that to me.

That didn't feel good. You know, that's how I remember about the experience. And I'm sure. And that's what traumatized you a little bit as far as I was just like another person sort of making you feel bad or less of a man because of what you're into. Right. Someone said something with the intent of making of me feeling worse than I did before they said it. But what was making you feel worse? Like just the other comments from the other woman or the fact that you and her were in a bad place? Oh, it was just more. I just didn't like

hearing that someone, you know, was making a root. comment about something that I enjoyed. Mm-hmm. You know, I like this play. I don't want to hear, like, some sort of, uh, comment like,

like that, like, I'm your mommy, you know, like, I mean, that's not, that's not in my mind.

That's not what I'm thinking about. You know, I don't want to have, like, the things that I'm into be, like, ammunition for,

like, you know. Right, of course. But, That's why it's good. I mean, listen, that happened at the end of your relationship and you guys were parting ways. So at least you know for sure that that was the right thing to do. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. You know, and I think sometimes when we look back at things and stuff, I mean, people are fucked up and people, I think sometimes people sabotaging relationships and people need to do certain things to get themselves out of situations. And it's also conscious, right? But, yeah, she was probably ready to move on to. and she probably did do that calculating, and that makes her kind of a bitch,

but maybe that she needed to do that to get out as well, you know? Yeah, without a doubt. I mean, we were having a hard time actually ending things and not seeing each other anymore. So that, you know, maybe that helps her get out. Totally. Maybe she wanted to ruin the sex, you know, so because sometimes, listen, I think the sex, when you have really good sex and a very strong chemistry with somebody, that's like a very hard thing to walk away from, you know?

I always say like my relationships that I had the best sort of compatibility with guys. Like when I was younger, like I didn't have really good sex with them. I had the better sex with the people I wasn't compatible with, right? And so those and those relationships lasted so much longer than the ones with the guys that I were very compatible with because that fucking sick pull, you know, that sometimes you could have with someone sexually that just keeps you going back for more no matter what, you know? So it's a very powerful thing. Yeah, we have shifting priorities and good sex is really high up on the list for most of our lives. Well, it's a great thing. I think this is why I do my show because I think, you know, sex is a, it's a good thing, you know, and it could fuck you up.

Yeah, sometimes it's coming out in all kinds of crazy ways and people act out. And I use sex in a negative way at times in my life. But overall, I've always believed it's a very good thing, a very healthy thing. and it's something that we should enjoy, you know, and I think it's great that most of your life, like you've been able to, I mean, you have had these experiences that weren't so great, but you have been able to in your life be, you know,

totally like face to face with who you are and what you like and been able to be very honest about that. And that's something you should be proud of, and that's great for you, because so many other people have to shove that shit down and hide it and, you know, do it secretly. And there's so much more, like, that becomes so much more layered with other stuff that take away from it, you know, and nothing that you're doing is wrong or bad.

You know, I don't think any kind of sexual desire that people have a lesson, as long as it's not, like, abusing somebody else against their will, what's the big fucking deal? You know what I mean? Why can't we be honest about that? So it's good that you were able to. Yeah, I think honestly after all those, whatever, people see mean things, and whole, after that, I learned to put it out way ahead of time. Like, get in front of the issue.

Yeah, weed out the bullshit. And I've had way more positive experiences because of it. And that's why I felt like I can totally, you know, I've been with people and said to ask them to just do some kind of crazy stuff and they've done it. And it's really nice, you know. A couple years ago, this woman was jerking me off and she had really long fingernails. And I was like, would you stick your fingernails? in my pee hole. You know, that's something I had always been curious about. And it was like

terrifying and a little painful, but it was hot and she did it because I just was very open and I said, well, you do this? She did it. It was an exciting experience. Right. And so now somewhere along you're you're walking, right? I mean, people are going to think you're jerking off. Okay. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, I think it's like, people are going to be like, is he jerking off or walking? Oh, God. No, no, no, I'm walking. No, I know it's true. So I know, and I, you know, let me know, I typically don't know how to, like, stay within the boundaries and of like, oh, someone says, we can't talk about this or not. I know you said something about, I know that you have been married and you said something about like, oh, I'm not going to talk about this or that.

But, like, you know, it does play into, like, your story, right? So you just tell me where I can't go. I think it's about just like the kind of sex you have with them. but like you've been married twice, right? Mm-hmm. And now, like, I'm just curious, like, with your wives, did you cheat on them? Oh, God, no.

No, no, no, no gnomous. No, I'm monogamous. I don't have any problem with that sort of stuff. Okay, I mean, listen, I ask because, like, that's not the common man. You know, I would say the majority of men do, so it's not so... Right.

Right. So you haven't, you've been, like, totally monogamous when you've been in your marriages. Yeah. And you've been able to be yourself, yeah. Yeah, I'm only going to be in a relationship with somebody. If they like to have sex a lot and if they like to have, you know, non-vanilla sex, you know, I don't have any problem just approaching people and introducing myself and trying to meet people.

I'm not under the impression that once one relationship ends. Oh, shit. Hold on. My thing just came out. Hold on one second. I got to plug in my computer before this goes off. I know exactly where we are. Okay. Say that again. You know where one's like, okay, say that again. You know one relationship. If a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that I'm never going to get something perverted again. Like there's always going to be another relationship out there. It's not the end of the world. Let me ask you this. Do you find that because you like so many different things

and you could act out so many different scenarios with being into all this stuff that it makes it easier to be monogamous because you could have like, you know what I mean instead? Because like vanilla sex is kind of like, you know, there's a couple things and you do it. And after a while, maybe it gets boring because you're with the same person for so long, you know, but like when you could do all this other stuff, right,

besides the regular sex stuff, like do you think that it helps you be more monogamous? Because maybe you could do more role playing and that kind of stuff within your marriage? I think that having, you know, an aspect of whatever, kink that I like that a person really can get into definitely helps the relationship because then it's not just like, oh, cool, I got to do that thing and it happened. It's like you, then it becomes a more multi-layered thing. Like, let's say I'm with somebody and they really, they like that, the whole tease and

denial, blue balls thing, if I'm dating somebody like that, and they, you know, they don't like any of the other fetishes. They don't want to, they don't want to punch me in the balls. They don't want to fit on my face. But they like that other one, then it can just become more and more elaborate, more refined. You have different experiences. It's not the same thing every time, you know. Right. So it does sort of add, right? Like it's easier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. See, this is why it's so sad that more men, right? And I'm sure there's women, too, but I think it's a little bit more men that like that they can't bring the things that they're really into you know into their relationships with their wives right and they have to go live these

double lives because you know maybe their wives would be like no fucking way or they don't want to be open to it you know because if you I think if more people were open to it right there would be maybe less of that kind of cheating and if you you know if a man could get sort of or a woman could get satisfied within her primary relationship there would be no need for that other stuff, right? But sometimes it's just not the case. You know, I'm at the point now where, you know, having been divorced and having had to go back into the dating world, to me, this is like second date stuff, this conversation, you know. I need to get it out ASAP.

Yeah, that's smart. I'm wasting their time and I'm wasting my own time. Yeah, and that's what you learned from experience, right? If you didn't have those couple of girls put you down for what you were into after. so long that you wouldn't have realized, right? That this is like, you know, that's how we all learn our shit, right? Exactly. Yeah, you've burned a couple times.

And you're like, okay. And also now, you know, I can easily handle someone not being into one or two things or three things that I'm into, but they're into something else that I'm into. But let me ask you, right. But in your relationships now, like once you started integrating the whole thing that you were also masochistic, Are you able to be both with people? Is that what you do? Or typically you take one side?

Or, you know, how does it work? I have found that it is not possible to be 100% masochistic in a relationship. I dated a woman who was a professional dominatrix for 10 years. And we talked quite a bit about it. And I said this to her. because she needed me to like fuck her like a man

you know and what was really funny about her is that she had like no pain threshold I would spank her and she would be whining and I felt like I wasn't really putting half the effort in

that I had to put in for other people you know but she she loved to beat the shit out of me she loved it but she couldn't do it all the time She needed me to be a man, hold her down, fuck her, you know, which I totally enjoy. And that's great.

Do you think it's probably because she was a professional dominatrix and she was, there was like probably an imbalance in her life because she was doing it so much on that one side, right? When we got together, she had done it for 10 years, but had been out of that business for two, three years. Right, right. She wasn't doing it anymore. So we talked about that, and I said to her once, I think a guy could be 100% masochistic if he beat about $250,000 a year. And she looked at me and she's like, yeah, okay, I could see that. I really appreciated her honesty there.

It's like if you bring it off to the table, okay, we can let it slide. Right. But long term, do you think? I mean, if that's who she really was and what she enjoyed, she needed a little bit of both. Yeah. Look, I'm not saying that she could then shut off that part of her brain wanted it. I'm just saying that at least if you were bringing something else to the table, she was open to discussion. And who knows, maybe 20 years down the line, and she'd be like, damn, that was the wrong decision.

But at least it was enough to make her think about it. Right, right, exactly. And what about fisting? We forgot about that. How did you get into that? You got into that early on, kind of, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, that was just something where, I don't know, I read about it so many times in, like, erotica and BDSM erotica.

And, you know, I'd fingered girls plenty, and I just tried it. I just tried it a couple times, and I enjoyed, it's one of those things where I didn't necessarily, like, get physical pleasure out of it, but I really enjoyed the reaction of the person I was doing it to. You know, it's a very delicate situation. There's a lot of, it's a huge power exchange. And I just, I enjoyed the person I was doing it to, like, gasping and being almost paralyzed, you know, and, you know, you just make very slight motions with your hand while you're inside of them. And it's just a power trip thing.

I guess. Right. And it's a part of that whole world for sure, right? I mean, it just goes with all of the stuff that you're into. So most of the women that were into, you know, sort of S&M were into hair pulling, fisting, throat fucking, like, do you find that most of them are, or they're, like you said before, maybe that they pick and choose like this, I'm really into this, but maybe not that. And you just figure that out and then stick to those places. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think that, yeah, everybody's got their different things that they're willing to be more extreme about. But what about your ball punching? Like, you've got, like, seriously, like you, when you say you liked someone to beat the shit out of you, like, do you come out with, like, black eyes and bruises? No, no, no. I can't even really afford to. I've been beating black and blue, yes. But, you know, I can't do that in public, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't walk around in public like that. But I've had, I don't know, maybe this is, I'm actually nearing the end of when I can talk.

Yeah, we're at like that an hour anyway. Yeah, we could do a part two. So, yes, I've been beaten black and blue. Let's leave this as the teaser. We could get into that for the next one. Do you want to do that? Okay, cool. Because I know that we had discussed early on that we would do maybe a part two with you because you had a lot of stuff, right?

Yeah, yeah. We can leave the ball. I don't know because I'm curious of how that actually happens because it just sounds so painful. And I'm sure so many guys listening that aren't into it are like, oh my God, they, you know, just the visual of it. But, you know, but there's probably a lot of people that are into it, you know, so I'd love to hear the details about that. And if you're running out of time, we could save it for part two. Yeah, I am running out of time. I have, you know, got to get back to real life.

Yeah. Okay. All right, cool. So, Craig, we'll talk again and we'll pick it up from like, you know, know the whole ball. What do they call that? What's the terminology of that ball busting? Yeah, ball busting.

CBT. CBT? What is CBT? Cod and ball torture. Oh, okay. I like that better. We're going to start, we're going to next podcast.

We start off with cock and ball torture. Yeah. All right. That would be, that's an episode of my life. All right, cool. That'll be the next episode for me. All right, Craig.

Thanks so much for calling in and we'll talk again soon. Thanks a lot. Have a great day. You too. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife. story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could

read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way. than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other.

And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.

It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot. of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about To anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly? And be on the show. Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.