Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 182 - Noah Cheated on his Wife with a Stranger he Met Online

Episode Date: June 11, 2017

Noah is the last guy you'd think would cheat on his wife, but that's exactly what he did with a complete stranger he met online. How did she talk a totally faithful guy into cheating on his wife? What exactly went down when they had sex? Did things end ok? Tune on to find out plus hear all about Noah's problem with low self esteem and how it played into this experience as well as hear all about all about the anal action he has been into since he's was a young kid. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on my show, I'm always looking for people to call in. It's a call on a advice show where I give people my unprofessional advice. I also just have people call up to tell me stories about their like interesting lives too. So if you want to be on my show, I mean email. Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Today I have on a guy who was a listener of my show who wrote in. And this was like a guy who has listened since the beginning, I think.

He's listened to mostly all of my episodes. And when he was listening, he was just probably listening to hear other people's like interesting life stories, right? And he was living, you know, a basic kind of life story until he got hit up on social media by some chick. And then it turned out that he wound up getting a story of his own. So he sent me an email and said he wanted to be on the show and share the story. It wasn't even just, I don't think he sent me the email to share the story.

I think you really needed advice because this thing that went down with him happened very recently and he still freaked out about it. He's a guy who's been married for a long time, you know, the guy that you would, the last guy you would ever believe would cheat on his wife, winds up cheating on his wife. Like I said, with somebody who reached out to him on social media. So watch out with that social media. Like anybody could come in and can be talking to your partner behind your back and you have no idea. I mean, it just sets up a lot of cheating scenarios.

And this is one of them. And I'm not going to get that much into it. I will say that I go into all different directions on this call. Like I sort of talk a lot about his history and his relationship with his wife and his interest in like shoving things up his ass when he was little. I talk about a lot about that before I get to the actual. story. But both things are interesting. So listen to the stuff about him because he was like just this really interesting concoction to me. Like you'll see like as the podcast goes on, you learn these things about him that you're like, how the fuck does that fit into his life story? You know, because at first

I thought I was talking to some like Pollyanna like Pollyanna kind of guy, you know, like straight laced. But I don't think he's that straight laced. So anyway, take a listen. I'll be right back on. So Noah, you're a listener of a show who wrote in to me with a story about like an online meeting that kind of, you know, with another woman, that kind of went bad for you. So you're married. I'll just give a little backstory on you, right? Like, you're married. Did you marry like the girl you lost your virginity to, like your high school sweetheart thing? I mean, because you guys been together like from early on and you've been with her for a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she was your high school sweetheart. I mean, how old were you guys and how long you been together? I met her when I was about 19. Mm-hmm. And... You've been together 11 years, right? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's a long time. You have kids? You're married. Yep, yep. Okay, and your deal is that, like, you and your relationship with your wife, I mean, you've been with her for this whole time. You've never cheated on her, right? I mean, we're not talking about this time.

I mean, besides... Yeah. Right. But I mean, like, before this, you were with her, but, like, the sex was never that greater. Maybe it wasn't the beginning. And then it kind of went, like, you know, got lame just because you've been with her a long time.

She's not really into, like, things. Like, what's the deal with your guys' relationship? Just give a little backstory on that because that ties into, you know, what you do afterwards. Sure. Well, our relationship has always been very, very great. And, you know, I would never, ever leave her. Mm-hmm. But there's always that, in the back of my mind,

and thinking, well, because, you know, I've never slept with anybody else. Oh, she was your, even your, like you were a virgin when you met her. Yeah, yes. Correct. And I was just, you know, just kind of wondering what it's like, you know, with somebody else, you know. Oh, my God, of course. Yeah. And it was just always kind of back in the back of my mind.

I know you did tell me, though, in your email, okay, that, like, she's not as like, sort of kinky as you are. Like you have some things maybe brewing up in your mind or like in your fantasy place, right? That like you're like into stuff and like maybe you've, have you tried stuff like that with her to get her a little bit? You said she got into it. She does the best she can to kind of accommodate me. But I mean, if she's not into it, she's not going to be bringing it up. And I feel like I'm pestering her all the time then for.

Right. But what kind of things have you asked? her to do that she's tried out. Like, how far have you teak in, like, your sort of fantasies and been honest about them with her? Um, well, I'm into anal play a lot. Mm-hmm. For myself. And it was even, it was way before her, but, you know, I kind of, for years and years,

I kind of just didn't tell her and kind of did it, whatever, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. but then, I don't know, the opportunity came up and I kind of, you know, asked her about what she thought and, you know, you start out joking about it. And then, you know, eventually we did end up starting to, you know, explore that way. Yeah, listen, I can even tell by the way you're talking to me and I'm a total stranger, you're not, I'm not in front of you, you're never going to meet me. I don't know who you are, but you're even sort of shy, really going to. there with me, right? So I could imagine, you know, that it took a lot of courage for you to eventually really go there even with her. I am a very shy person. Like, yeah, you are right.

Yeah, so let me just put the words in your mouth. Or let me just say, like, maybe I'll say it and then you could just like agree or disagree. Like when you say you were into like the ass play, was it like full on, like, was it just like, oh, I'm looking for a finger at my ass or like because you're looking for like a dildo and like that's what she accommodated for you. Like, how far did you take that? Was it A or B? All the above. All of the above.

So did it say... We have a strap on and... Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, so that's pretty far that you got with her. That's pretty cool that she tried that, right? Yeah, she... Yeah.

Like I said, she's great with that stuff, but it's just... I mean, it's not her thing, so then, you know, she doesn't ever bring it up or she doesn't ever... Right, and you don't really... ...you don't really... ...you don't feel like saying to her all the time looking like a weirdo, like, hey, baby, shoved on like all the time like she's good right it's yeah yeah right but let me ask you this just as a side note because it might be interesting because there's probably a lot of other guys out there

that do this sort of thing secretly right and no they don't talk about it because a lot of people would think oh you're gay because you like things up your ass but it's like a hundred percent not true right that's that's what she asked yeah yeah I'm sure yeah I'm not yeah no of course not but I'm saying like when you were younger because like you told me that like you were into this way before her right and you were a virgin when you met her. So like when, how old were you that you found that part of your body and realized while you were like jerking off doing your thing that, oh my God, that fucking noise. I'll edit that out. Um, that you were like, when did you figure out that that's something that you were into? Did it happen? Like, I mean, you know, like, were you watching porn and you realize? Like, how did you think, oh, I'm going to like do this to my ass and this is great. And like, how did it start out and how did it progress? Oh, I don't even remember when it was a, it was a, long, long time ago. So like from early on, like right when you started?

Very early on, yes. Mm-hmm. And like, what were you putting up there? Because I'm sure you didn't, you couldn't, like, you're a little kid, right? Like, you couldn't go to the, you know, you didn't have, like, so, like, what were you using? It sounds pretty bad, but basically whatever I could say. No, it doesn't sound bad. It's so, I mean, it's kind of funny and it's interesting, but I bet you a thousand dollars.

It's so many people could really. late. And that's why I asked because I know it's kind of could be a little bit funny if you went down the list. Like what's the craziest thing you put in there? Come on. Nobody knows who you are. I don't even know who you are. It's just for shits and giggles. Well, it's been a while since, you know, I've had things that weren't designed. Right. I guess, you know, like action figures and.

like your G.I. Joe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, your dolls, like, I mean, did you ever go into, like, your parents' refrigerator and start using stuff like that? No, no, no. Oh, that's so bad. I could clean and hide the evidence and, yeah. Well, you could throw a cucumber out, okay? Okay, I think it's a lot.

You could throw a cucumber out. You're acting as if that would be so bad when you were, like, using a doll and then playing with it the next day. I think that's a lot of fucking worse. Yeah, but I was very, I cleaned it very, very well. Yeah. Oh, my God. How did you look those dolls in the face the next day?

I don't know. It's so funny. I don't know. So anything. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you would just like use anything. And like you found it enjoyable. Mm-hmm.

Yes. And so she was the first girl. How long into your like relationship did you tell her about that. Like, were you already married for a couple of years? Do you remember? No, no.

Well, we were together for quite a while before we were married. But I would say, I'd say at least six years, seven years before. And now did you have sex with her before the marriage? Or did you wait until you were married?

It was before, yeah. Okay. So you dated for a while, you guys had sex, and then you told her inter, and then you guys got this strap on and she did it. And, like, were you able to relax

and enjoy it? her? Oh, yeah. It was great. It was intense, yeah. Right. And she at first, like you said, was very, like a little afraid that maybe that meant that you were gay?

It was only when, like, when I first told her about it. Yeah. You know, she got, she kind of withdrew a little bit. And, you know, she was probably thinking, oh, no, he's going to leave me for Kai. And then. Right. Totally. And how did you, you know, how do you think that you eased her sort of concerns about it?

Like, what did you say? And I'm only, like I said, I'm asking you this kind of stuff because I'm telling you, there's probably a lot of guys out there in your exact position, right? So how did you get? And that would be, I think, one of their biggest things, hurdles are going to have to get past because that's the problem, right? The woman's going to think. And a lot of people would think that you're gay and you know yourself, right? You're not lying to yourself.

Like, you're not gay. So you know it. So how did you convince her? Did it take a long time? Did, like, what was that conversation like? well, I actually started it before I even mentioned it, like before I mentioned that I wanted it. It was kind of like, you know, leading up to it, you know, I would, it almost thought, I mean, think it about it. It almost seems like that whole six, seven years I was, you know, like throwing little hints in there, you know?

Okay, so you really prepped her for a really long time. Like, what kind of hints would you throw out? Um, well, I try to get her to watch, like, like, shows about sex. or shows about this. And whenever there would be an episode about that. Right. Pegging, like we would say in my last podcast. Uh-huh. We call it pegging, right?

Wasn't that the title my last podcast? Pegging, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So whenever pegging, quote-unquote, would come up, you would, what would you say? Just like, oh, I wonder how that would be. Right, right, right. What do you think about that kind of thing, you know?

Right, uh-huh. And would she look at you, Fani? She'd probably just think I was joking, you know Because I kind of Even though I'm shy with you I mean, I'm a pretty big pervert with her So Oh, that's cool

Okay, so you were able to be like your big old bad self with her I mean you've been with her for so long Yeah, yeah Yeah, you're kind of right Like why was I saying like why you're so shy with me I could imagine I'd be with her It'd be the opposite, you'd be like the most comfortable with her And of course shy with me

I'm sure she's embarrassed of me quite a bit just because, I don't know, I think I might be a little too much myself with her. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. Yeah, but so anyway, so you guys start to do all that with each other, right?

Did she, do you think she enjoys it at all, or no, she just strictly does it for you? I think she just does it for me. Okay. To be honest, I mean. Has she come out with any, like, fantasies that she's into that, like, maybe you tried or no. She's pretty straight-laced?

she she's very reserved about sex so it's it's hard to get anything out of her and it's like she doesn't like she doesn't even are you still there yeah she's pretty reserved so i mean it she doesn't even you know play with herself at all so never in her life really yeah well she says oh my fingers are too short so well she always she could have been using her Barbie doll we don't know

look at what you were doing I mean she claims though that she never ever jerked off in her life is she one of those I think she said she tried but it didn't feel good

she said but how short her fingers she doesn't really explore right right I guess what I guess I'm thinking like how shorter her like okay oh

I mean like she could just play with her clip but she just so she tried it didn't really work out for her yeah does she orgasm with you Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, cool. So you have this, so I don't even know why I'm harping on this, but I figured it would just be interesting because I do know that you said that you were into someone. I'm more helpful talking about this than the other subject. Oh, no, we're going there right now, and that's going to be long drawn out. Okay. And no, it's good for you to talk about, right? Because it's something that kind of like, you know, hurt your feelings, right?

I mean, that's the end of the story. Like, you know, you kind of got really shafted. So anyway, you're like online like everybody else, right? and you get a friend request on some sort of social media from a girl, right? Now, what kind of girl, quote, unquote, is this? Does it look like one of those fake accounts? Like, you know, because like, why is somebody that you don't even know friend requesting you? Was it like on Instagram or Facebook?

Like, can you tell me which social media place it was? I'd rather not. Okay, but was it on one that you're like, oh, you know, I don't want to give out too much. Yeah. Okay. Um, I've gotten a friend request before from just random people. And yeah, they could have been fake or they could have been, you know, some guy somewhere, you know. Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. This was a girl. I normally, yeah, I normally try to be, you know, as polite as I can. And I don't know if I've met them before and I don't want to just like, you know, just blow them off right away. Like it could be just, you know, some distant family member, you know, that I've met before. that. Yeah, totally. So you made this girl your friend, right?

And she looked like a real girl online. Was she from your same town? Yes. Okay, she was. Okay, cool. And so you guys, and so what happened? Like, after you friended her, did she send you, like, a direct message or something like that and you guys started talking?

Like, how did you start to chat with her? Who threw that first initial thing? Well, actually, I sent her message first. Uh-huh. I sent her message first. Just, you know, asking if we've ever met and, you know, just explaining that, yeah, I don't really want to be rude if you're someone I've met and just deny you right away, you know. Mm-hmm.

And she just, you know, she started saying why she, friend requested me, which I'm not sure, I don't know. But. Well, what do you mean? She said, so what did she say, what was the reason why she said she friend requested you? What was the, she just, she was just looking for people to hang out, she said, and, you know, just, but.

But she didn't know you. You guys weren't, like, sort of like, five people. removed from each other, like, did she know a friend of a friend of a friend or like, did she just see your picture? There was like no sort of knowledge of each other, even though you're from the same town. Was there a big age difference or anything like that? No, a couple years. I mean, nothing too, too crazy.

Okay, cool. So she starts just tell you that she's like reaching out to people to hang out with. So you start having conversation. Now, like your initial reaction to her, like, picture when you first saw her, like, Was she attractive? Like, did you think that she was kind of hot? Like, what did you think when you saw her initially? Yeah, I thought she was attractive.

I mean, but, you know, it wasn't in my mind yet that, you know, it was. Right. That something would be, would go down. You didn't, you don't think on any level that first email you sent to her had anything to do with like putting it. Right. Not at all. Like, in my email to you, I mean, I talked about my low self-esteem. So it's kind of like.

oh, well, nobody's going to, you know, nobody's going to message me for this, you know. They just want to talk to me, obviously. It's not because they want me or anything, you know. Mm-hmm. So you guys start talking to each other, right? And then eventually does she start to tell you about the issue she's having in her relationship? Yes, yes. And I thought, you know, she just wanted to talk, you know?

Mm-hmm. And she knew I was married, and I made sure, you know, that was like one of the first things I said. that I was married, you know. But you wouldn't go back and tell your wife. Like your wife didn't know about her, didn't ask you about her. She actually did. She did. She didn't know about her.

Yeah, because we were kind of like going to hang out as a couple. You know, we were as two couples. But yeah. Yeah, well, how does that happen that she knows about her and then like she disappears and now you're sort of just talking to her separately? So you tell her that you're friends with this girl. You tell her that she's got this boyfriend and you kind of say that. you met her online and now you all you you and your wife I guess decide maybe you'll all go out

together when does it happen that you start talking to her sort of privately because eventually you wind up hanging out with this girl yes at what point do you like start to think oh I shouldn't sort of fill in my wife about what's going on here well it's actually I think she brought it up because she saw that you know I was friends with her online yeah and she's like who you know who is this you know And it's like, oh, I didn't tell her the story, you know, what exactly happened. I even show her what we said to each other, you know, so she could see. Yeah.

And that's, that's about how it, you know, how it started. Right. And then, you know, my wife started talking to her too. And everything was fine. And, yeah. Yeah, but, okay, so everything's fine. But then it turns out that she's having, like, really bad problems with her boyfriend, right? And so the whole double dating thing is not going to happen, right?

Yeah. Yes, yeah. Okay, when does it start that you guys start to kind of flirt or something? Because she eventually sort of asks you to like meet up with her and come over to her house. I mean, this whole time I was thinking when you're writing to me in the email because it's like very different when you wrote it out that like it's going to turn out that she's like a dude. I didn't know she lived in your town and this was someone around your age. I just thought maybe like it was somebody anywhere, you know, and it's probably like a fake account like a guy, right? But it turns out this is like a real girl.

And she's eventually like hits you up to come over her house and make her quote, unquote, feel better, right? So like how do you wind up in the place after you're talking to her about your wife and you're talking to your wife with her? And like you're like a pretty straight-laced guy that this is what I think about you having talked to. You know, like you didn't lose your, you know, you've been with a one woman your whole life. You never cheated. You're pretty shy, right? Like how does a guy like you wind up like on the verge of. cheating on someone when that's like so not what you would ever think you would do and not

what you attended to do? Like, when does that line get crossed, do you think? I guess it was, I mean, I was always, like in high school, I was always friends with all my ex-girlfriend. And we always just kind of, you know, flirted with each other, but it wasn't like anything. You know, it was just, it was just flirting. You know, it wasn't, like, nothing was going to happen. And I guess I just maybe fell back into that.

And I just started talking to her like that. And I just assumed, you know, my little self-esteem thinking, oh, she doesn't really want me. Well, then her flirting back was just, you know, just playful, you know, just whatever. Now, would your wife ask you, like, are you still talking to that girl? Or like, did she just, like, forget about the whole thing about her? Like, where was she in the middle of all this? Okay. And what would you say?

Just the truth? yeah yeah i mean i mean i left out the flirting part but right i mean because at some point you have to start lying to her i mean at some point you had to have start lying to her right because things became different between you and this girl and you wind up cheating on your wife with her so like after her flirting right like when did you start to think like oh i could be in like naughty territory I can't remember the exact moment But it was just all of a sudden It seemed like she actually really wanted me

And then I kind of had to pump the brakes a little bit And say that I was just You know, I'm just being playful I'm just joking And then that got really upset And Now you have your first fight Now you have your first fight

Now you have to have makeup sex Wait so she's flirting with you Wait wait wait wait hold on She's flirting with you People are going to yell at me because I think they're going to be like you We're cutting him off a lot in this podcast And she's flurting with you And it seems like she's the first person

That sort of crosses those boundaries It makes it sort of obvious that she wants us to be something more And you were like pumped the brakes and you were like, no, I'm just, like, I'm just being, like, I'm just playing around here. Like, that's not what I mean, right? Like, you're married. I'm happily married. Like, I'm not interested in that.

And then how do you know that she gets upset? What did you say? I was just going to say, I even explained to her, you know, how I used to talk to all my friends in high school, you know, all my friends that were girls in high school. And, you know, just that's how I talked to them, you know, and they talk to me back at. way and it was just that's what I thought was going on right and now how did you know she was upset well she started saying how oh nobody desires her and you know things like that and I'm kind of the one that likes to take care of people and help people out right she was like the

damsel in distress yes and you know I say well I'll still come over and talk you know and which yeah I mean that was I mean so so she's upset because you say like I don't and like in a weird way

that might have made her like want you even more because like at that point you become someone that doesn't want her and she just might be wired

to like have to get that person right so now you're like oh I'm not even flirting with you I'm not interested I'm happily married and then

she and you're like putting on the brakes but you know what I'm saying she gets the hint okay she knows It was like you're not like a typical guy that would be like a lot of guys, right, would just be jumping all over that. It would be the, you know, the sort of reverse situation, right? The girl is sort of wounded, not really looking for anything and the guy sees an opportunity to fuck her, right?

And they move in, right? That's normally what happens. This is like the opposite. I guess so, yeah. Yeah, you're not looking for anything. I've never had many guy friends, so it's kind of. Well, I have. Okay, and I talked to a lot of guys on the podcast, and that's the way that it goes.

but you're not the typical guy. You're not, you're sort of wired that way. You're like counseling her and just being like a friend to her. Yeah. And then, but she's what I wanted to be. Yeah, but she's the one that's kind of looking for the inn because it seems like maybe she was looking for a little action for whatever reason, right? And we're going to get to that.

Yeah. So she eventually after you insulted her. I think she just wanted to feel like she was needed, you know, and. Yes. Most of the time when women, she, because she was a part of a relationship, right? and she had this boyfriend that she was like talking about to you. Most of the time when women cheat, it's because, you know,

they're not getting something at home with their guy. It's not like, oh, you know, there are a lot of, some guys could be like completely happy, massively in love with their wives. And it's just about variety, right? And it's just a sexual thing. It has nothing to do with anything. And it doesn't mean that they don't love their wife.

That could happen. But most of the time with the women, it's a little bit different because we're wired a little bit differently. So a lot of times it's like, you know, a woman when she goes low, She's not really wired to need variety as much, you know, not to say that women don't like variety. But a lot of times it's because someone, they, you know, they want to feel validated, like you say, or want to feel wanted, you know, and so when you didn't, when you on top of her boyfriend

didn't even want her, and she's really needy of that, she had to sort of change that situation. So she says to you, after you've told her, like, no, I'm not interested in you that way, she says like can you just please come over she didn't say to come over but you know I wanted to help her out and I felt bad that you know she thought this was something else that I still offered to come over and oh you offered I thought she said can you come over

and make it feel better quote unquote I thought you wrote that in the email to me no if I did I must have okay so but you're the one that offered that's a little interesting even though I mean really think about it it okay Noah. I know, I know. You're saying like, oh, I didn't really want anything.

You know, like at this point, right? Let me ask you this. Are you like thinking like I would never cheat on my wife? I'm just being like a nice person to do it. Like, yeah? Like that's what you're thinking, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Like I, yeah. And even now I just can't believe that, you know, it had happened a way it did. I know, but isn't it a little interesting though? on that some part of you and I assume that this is a part of you that you're maybe not so in touch with offered to go over to her house I think that there's some little part of you and I think that little part of you is like the guy in high school who has low self-esteem that nobody wants him right that thought oh my god this girl wants me like let's like let's go over and give me a little bit of something do you know what I mean like that part of you maybe need

or wanted a little validation. Because whoever said, let's hang out. I mean, that's the person that kind of, you know, opened that little window of opportunity. And I thought it was her. I could have sworn that was in my email, but that doesn't matter. The truth is that you're the one.

Yeah. You were the one that said, oh, let me come over. Now, at this point, you know you're not going to tell you, did you tell your wife you were going over her house? I was going to when I thought nothing was going to. to happen, but, you know, obviously, afterwards it was... No, no, no, no, you were going to tell her after? No, but I'm saying beforehand.

Afterwards, yeah. So you decided... No, it was afterwards. Right, but you weren't going to tell her before. Like, that day, you didn't say, oh, by the way, that girl emailed me and she's so upset about her boyfriend, I'm going to go over her house and talk to her. It was kind of short notice is how it happened, so I didn't actually see my wife before I went over there.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Like, I decided to go over there, and then, like, I decided to go over there, and then, like, like I didn't see my wife until after, you know, I was out of there, you know. Right, right, totally. Okay. So now at that point, when you say I'll come over because she's, like, upset and you've

made her feel worse and you feel bad, right? Yeah. And you're driving over there. Is there any part of you that consciously is aware of the fact that maybe something's going to go down sexually? I was thinking it, but I was also telling myself that nothing could happen. I mean, I remember, like, actually verbally saying, you know, nothing can happen, nothing can happen to myself. Right.

And the reason I'm harping on all of this is because I think that this is like the most interesting part of this story. Because I really think, like, you're not the typical guy that's just like going out and cheating on his wife. You know what I mean? And it's sort of like happening to you, but yet you're sort of doing it. And so there's something like underneath all that. in you, I believe. And not that, I know you emailed me today and said like, oh, I hope you don't find out that I'm like a terrible person or something.

Like I'm not, you know, it's not like, it's not that you're a bad person and that's what I'm looking for. But I just think that like I said, like it's not just like a regular guy that goes out and like has an online sort of sexual encounter. And it's like a hot story. I think what's interesting about this is you're like the last guy that anyone would ever think would have an online sexual encounter, right? Even you.

I suppose so, yeah. You wouldn't even think, right? I mean, would you believe, like, it was five months ago before this girl ever texted you or emailed your whatever, like, would you ever think, like, that something like this would ever happen to you in your life? No, not a million years. No way, right? Yeah, no, I know that.

No. So you're driving there and you're saying, like, Like, no way, this is, nothing's going to happen. Like, nothing's going to happen. Are you in touch with any part of you that might secretly kind of want something to happen? Oh, I definitely kind, I mean, I definitely wanted it. But, you know, I didn't want to, I didn't want to screw up my life. So I didn't want to, you know, I, I mean, I love my life very much.

But, you know, I see other women. And it's, but, you know, there's that point where it's like, no. You know, you can't do anything. Mm-hmm. But, I mean, I definitely wanted to with her. Mm-hmm. But, you know, yeah. I mean, that's why I'm telling itself, you know, no, nothing can happen.

Nothing can happen. Right. And that's why I say, like, I just think that there is this other part. We all are, you know, have different parts of ourselves. You know, I just think, like, you know, the rational part of you is like, no, I don't cheat on my wife. Like, I'm not going to do this. But then, like, there's a guy part of him.

you, right? And especially because of like you haven't had anybody else in your life and you kind of have low solacea when you were never that guy that maybe somebody would want to be with in that way or just use you sexually like a sex object. And all of a sudden you're in that position that some part of you probably, you know, had to kind of experience that because like I said, I really believe that even though you say like you put it out there, you want me come over, that not any of that was about sort of hooking up with her. But I think on a subconscious level it was. I know you don't think so, but...

I thought it could have happened, but, you know, I thought I had more willpower than that, and I could have stopped it, but... Right, but listen, somebody that really doesn't want to do something, they think, like, you know, I don't know. So that's just like, I love to analyze stuff like that, and I love, like, the whole subconscious thing and stuff.

So that's just why I go there. But, like, you know, people could think, I don't know what I'm talking about, but I really believe that on some level... You went over there. You make a lot of sense. I mean, I listen to probably almost all of your podcasts. And I definitely, you know, value your advice.

Right. And I don't think it's listen. I don't judge people by what they do. Like, this is what's so interesting about all this kind of stuff. And, like, I had a guy on last week who was kind of, like, super judgmentally said. And then it turned out, like, he did something exactly like what somebody had done that he thought was so bad. And it's just like, I think it's, like, really humbling and great. life when people that maybe seem so quote unquote perfect or just never have done anything bad

that do things that are bad and because I don't think that's like bad you know what I mean even though there are bad things you know it's just like it's just being a human being you know and um I mean this this experience is definitely like how I'm in me open my eyes and you know see that I am not perfect you know I mean yeah right that not every cheated this is like you know because like people like and this is what I hate that. like when I used to watch like these salacious talk shows, they used to love them when I was growing up,

and they'd have like these guests on, and there'd be like a husband and a wife, and they were getting divorced, they'd be like, the husband cheated, and everyone would be like, oh, you're a terrible person, you know? I was, I was probably one of those people, you know? Yeah, I thought, how could somebody do that?

Yeah, and that's why I like to have these stories, because when you really hear the whole story and know, like, sometimes people do bad things, but it doesn't mean they're a bad person, right? Like, what you did wasn't right, you know? and it was bad, quote unquote. But you're not a bad person, right? Like you're this guy who's been very monogamous.

Like you have nothing but nice things to say about your wife. Nothing was wrong in your relationship with your wife. This is the scary thing about social media, though, nowadays. I think it's every person sort of fear in a relationship. Because look at the shit that could happen. Some bitch for these poor girls out there that are married, you know? I mean, she's... Yeah.

Yeah. What were you saying? I'm not upset with her at all. I say bitch as in like a girl, like some girl to another girl. I'm saying, like, you know, some girl in your same town could be emailing your husband, friend requesting him. He could be the type of guy that would never cheat on you. And like before you know it, he's over, you know, her house fucking him because these kind of is like the perfect storm, right? Like she's sort of in a bad place.

You're the type of nice guy that wants to help her, right? And just like all the stars align. And you wind up at our house. So let's get back to the story now after I've psychoanical. you and you get to her house, you're driving over there, you're basically having a conversation in your head like, nothing's going to happen, nothing's going to happen. And I do believe you didn't tell your wife that you were going over there beforehand because on some level, you didn't want to be stopped. There's no way if you told your wife. I don't care if you, you know, with text messaging

and everything nowadays, there's never no time to sort of tell somebody. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, come on. So there's no way you wanted to tell your wife because she would have been like, fuck you. Like, you can't go over to her house. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she would have said, no way and stopped to be checked. So you're driving over there, having a conversation in your head, like, oh, my God, nothing's going to happen, nothing's going to happen. You get to her house and, like, what is she wearing when she opens the door?

Well, yeah, this is the start of the problem. She opens, opens the door and, you know, she's wearing, like a long-sleeve shirt, just a regular long-sleeve shirt. but then like no pants, just like little boy shorts. And it's, yeah. Okay, now let's paint the picture. Like, how hot is she? If you listen to my podcast, I always want a scale of one to ten. What is she on the scale of one to ten?

And what are you? Mr. Low self-esteem. Are you a four? Yeah, it's hard to ask someone with low self-esteem. Yeah, you have four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I gave you better. I say a four.

Based on how people react to me and what people say about me, I'd say I'm probably like a seven. Okay, that's great. And what about your wife? Obviously, I don't feel like that. Okay, but anyway, what about your wife? Yeah. She's probably like an eight. Okay, and now what about the girl that's standing in front of you half naked?

She's about the same, maybe seven or eight. Okay, and she's got a hot body? Yes, yeah. Okay, so she shows up, like, she's kind of. half naked. So like now that, when you see her, like, do you get like slightly hard? Like, I mean, is that like, are you like, whoa instantly turned on? Yes. Yeah. And what is she? Partially because I thought, okay, I'm just going to come over and talk, you know, and then all of a sudden, you know, you see that. And it's game up. I know you're saying that. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, when I say that you knew this and you didn't

do that. I'm saying this is all happening sort of subconsciously. Do you know what I'm saying? I know you're not attached to that part. I know that you're not lying to me. And, Those thoughts were in your head and you're just not telling me them. Do you what I mean? That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that these things are happening subconsciously. But it's still a part of you. Your subconscious is still you, you know. And sometimes we just or it's like maybe it's not subconscious. I don't know. I'm not a real therapist. So I don't really fucking know. But I do think of some part of you. But like I said, I do not believe that this was like I know you're having those conversations in your mind in your head when you're driving over there. And those were real conversations you heard in your head. But I know. that you're not hearing the things that I'm saying. You know, they're happening on another level, but there's still a part of you. But now at this point, there's no more subconscious going on.

She's, like now that it's, it's in your face, okay? It's the real deal. Like, you're going to cheat on your wife. Yeah, I mean, not at that point, no, because she had told me before that,

you know, in our flirting, whatever, playfulness, you know, I say that, you know, I'm kind of a nudist.

like at least I used to be and you know then she starts talking about how a what she a nudist you didn't tell me that wait wait you were nudist you and your wife are nudists ah no just me oh wait a second oh my god how much longer do we have to be more okay but used to before your wife or with her what was that before you met your wife no it was before I met her But, I mean, I've told her about it, and, you know, she's gone two places with, you know, to a beach with me. Okay, but I don't care about that. My whole thing is what's so interesting. I've been to a nude beach, okay?

I had a boyfriend that used to take me in the nude beach all the time. So I know the whole nudie thing. It's such so interesting to me. It's a whole nudie lifestyle. Yeah, it's such a new. I don't like to belong to any group, whether it's the Girl Scouts or the nudie groups, okay? Like, I just is so weird to me. But people there are pretty hardcore, some people, you know, like it is a whole nudist community, right?

It wasn't so much community with me. It was just being, you know, outside in the sun and being naked, you know. Oh, you're fascinating to me. Because you're so, you're such an interesting concoction because you're like this guy who didn't lose his virginity. It is really shy. And he's like the first girl he fucked he stayed with for 11 years. But yet you're shoving like GI Joe's up your ass. You're a nudist.

Okay. So you're at nude beaches. And like you never had any opportunity to get laid before that or anything considering you're walking around sort of naked? I mean, all my girlfriends in high school, they were the type that, you know, they were the good girls that were saving themselves and, you know, and being the good guy, I'm fine with it. But even though, you know, your hormones are going crazy and you're not really fine with it. Right. But you were. Did everyone know you were nudist?

Like was that an out-and-out thing? Or was that like a secret thing that you did? In high school? Yeah. I wasn't actually one in high school. Right. I mean, I left in naked, but I don't think I knew what it was. Mm-hmm.

But, yeah. I mean, it was probably like after high school when I was in college for a little while. Did you go with somebody first? No. No, I went alone first. That's so interesting to me that, like, you thought like, oh, I'm going to go. Was there like a nude beach in your town? and everyone knew about it and you said like I'm just going to go check it out?

Yeah. It wasn't really in my town. It was a little bit away, but yeah. And you went and like, listen, there is something very freeing. I did it a bunch of times with a boyfriend of mine when I was way younger. But like, you know, were you like, oh, wow, like I love this and this is like totally relates to me. Like it just being naked outside, it feels like just right for you. Yes, yeah.

It was, yeah. So it was very freeing like you're saying, yeah. Mm-hmm. And you would just go by yourself? Like, did you make friends there? Like, or would you just, like, sit on a towel by yourself and just... See, that's where my shyness comes in. You know, I just sat there by myself. Right, right, right.

I just enjoyed the sun and was swimming a little bit. And, you know, I was... That was about it. But would you, like, look around and see women naked and be like, oh, that's, like, I wish I could, like, fuck one of them. Like, I mean, because you're still, like, a virgin. That's what I think is so crazy in a weird way, you know? Yeah.

definitely I was, you know, I was trying not to stare, but yeah. Yeah. I had to flip over to my stomach a few times, but. Mm-hmm. And now, did you tell anybody about it? I mean, I know that your wife, you told her, but, like, when you were going there, that was, like, a secret thing that you did? I mean, probably, probably my, the few ex-girlfriends that, and girlfriend at the time, I think,

that I had, I, you know, I told them about it. And, oh, I think I did go there a couple times with. one of your girlfriends? Maybe two or three times. With, yeah, with my girlfriend, but. Okay, so let's get back to this story. So this girl knows you were nudist, so you think it's like sort of not so weird still even?

I mean, you're like, it's like a hilarious how much you're sort of living in denial for how long you're living in denial. You're still in denial. I can see that now with that it was like, I'm kind of just brushing things on it. No, no, she can't, you know. She can't be doing this.

I thought we're just going to talk, you know, and yeah. Okay, so you go in, she's kind of like... She did say that she always walks around like that. So, you know, it's like, that was part of it. But I know people, you know, people lie, but... Yeah, she didn't want to be like, oh, I put this on for you because I'm trying to seduce you. I mean, that would be not so seductive. I think it's kind of hotter to be like, oh, yeah, this is just how I walk around my house all the time.

So now you go in and like, how does it, like, who makes the first move? Well, we sit on the couch. And, you know, we're talking and talking like, you know, just I'm trying to help her, you know, and she's talking about how bad things are and, you know, and. With her boyfriend. How long has she been dating her boyfriend? With her boyfriend, yeah. Mm-hmm.

I think like a year. Okay. So she's telling you how bad he treats her and all that kind of stuff, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, I mean, I'm sure she caught me, you know, looking at things. because her shirt was kind of open to, you know, a little bit. So you could see her tics?

Was she wearing a bra? Yes, yes, she was. Okay, but you could see her bra? You can see cleavage. It was, yeah. And, yeah, I mean, so we're just sitting there talking, and, you know, she gets up to get something, and then when she sits back down, she sits a little closer, and she keeps getting up.

I think she's just trying to, you know, she was just trying to show me things, you know. Yeah, yeah. She's doing a little fashion show for you. She, and every time she comes back, she gets a little closer. Yep, yep. And, I mean, eventually she, you know, sits closer, but. But what? Were you going to say, but I still think we're just talking?

No, no, I kind of, I figured it was being, you know. At this point, you finally know what's going to happen. Okay. So keep going. I kind of knew, but it was just, you know, low self-esteem thinking, no, no way. Oh, God, your self-esteem. Okay, go on. I know, I know.

Yeah. That's how almost laid. Listen, let me tell you that low self-esteem I think got, no, no, no, no, but I got to you, I think your low self-esteem got you laid, like, in the situation. I think at some level it played a part in her sniffing you out, and it was the reason why you were like the guy that this girl chose to fuck to get her boyfriend back. So anyway, so you guys, so she, how does the first move get made? Well, the one time she sat down, you know, she was kind of leaning back a little bit and, you know,

kind of had her legs open a little bit. And, you know, she, you know, called me looking a little bit. and then all of a sudden she just pulled me on top of her and start kissing me. Oh, my God. Now, what was that like to kiss, like, I start making out with another woman after you've been with the same woman for 11 years? Tell me, I mean. Tell me the truth. She was a terrible kisser?

It wasn't that she was a terrible kisser. It's just, like, with my wife, like, you know, I get goosebumps and, you know, there's that tingle, you know, and you know, you just, you just feel, I don't know, just because I, like, really, really love my wife. There's a lot more depth there. Right, right. There's a lot more there when you're kissing her. But it was kind of just like, it was nothing.

It was just. That's how girls, that's how girls experience stuff a little bit more. So, you know, and why. So finding out that I'm basically a girl then. Totally. That's all this conversation. Yeah. Yeah, you're a girl trapped in a man's body.

That likes anal. You're a three input girl. A lot of guys would like you if you were a girl So anyway, so That's very funny when you say that by the way I kind of chuckle every time you say that What do I say? What, three input?

The three input girl thing Oh, anyway So yeah, you're you would be a three input girl if you were a girl So you're making out it's kind of not like What you expect But how does it? So then what happens? I mean it was still, it was still

You know, it's still hot But and you know, I was definitely getting hard. And then what? You know, well, let me back up. Right before we kissed, I kind of stopped, like, a little bit before. And, you know, I was saying, I just can't do this. Like, I can't do this to my wife.

And she, you know, she kind of, oh, she's never going to find out. And we just, we just both need something, you know. And why we both? Why we both need something? Why did she assume that you? I don't know. Okay, go on. You weren't complaining about anything in your situation, were you?

No, no, no. I mean, I have said that my wife isn't as passionate as I'd like. Right, so, right. Okay, that's maybe what she was, she was just using that as a thing. That might be, yeah. Right, okay, go on. Well, yeah, the kissing goes on for quite a while, and, you know, I'm kissing her neck and, you know, touching her ass a little bit,

and she's, you know, touching me. And she, at some point she ended my belt. I can't remember. Mm-hmm. But then all of a sudden she says, you know, the bedroom's in there. And I don't know why I said okay, but I said okay. Oh, I don't know why. Oh, I know why I said okay, but.

Yeah. You don't even know how to use different language as your other part of yourself. Like you're still, you don't know what I mean? Like at this point, we all know why you said okay and went in there. I know. I know. Okay. I've always been like, you know, the goody two shoes type of person.

Yeah, the nudist with the G.I. Joe's up his ass. Okay. You're not as goody shoes. Well, the G.I. Joe's don't talk, so it's okay. But you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I know. Not as goody tishes as you think.

I mean, how old are you now? How old are you right now? I'm in my 30s. Right. So in your 30s, you've already cheated once. So you're in your nude as a newt as you like anal. You're not as a goody tissue as you think. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But what? You say once, but after this experience, I'm definitely, this is, this is it. This is, I'm never getting to this again because. Because it didn't go well. But wait, let's get back to the hot sex. Let's just give her listeners. Just let me just to say.

So she, how does it wind up, how do you wind up going all the way? Because like at some point, so she undoes your belt, right? And then what happened? She does my belt. And, you know, we go to the bedroom and she lays down there and, you know, we start kissing again. And I thought it was just, I don't know, it was just going to be, you know, making out. And then she says, we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. And we don't have to go very far.

Yeah, yeah. She's like the guy. You're like the girl. This is like, you know, real reversal. It's okay. Yeah. Go on. It's funny.

Go on. Well. She's. Taking advantage of you. After a while. Yeah. I thought I was stronger than that, but I guess not. No, she knew it from a mile away.

That's why I'm telling you your low self-esteem worked for you. You were like the prime target. Well, if I was ever going to do this again, I guess I'd know how to do it. No, you would, no, not if this kind of woman got you. Like, she knew exactly what, on some level she was probably working subconsciously too, but like on some level, this was exactly. exactly the kind of situation that would work for you. Like I said,

it was the perfect storm, you know? So anyway, so you're in there. You're still like, oh, I don't want to go. She's telling you, like, you know, talking you kind of into it. Like, how does she get your pants off? She basically pulled them off. But, I mean, this was after, you know, I'm basically kissing, like, every part of body and, you know, go down on her for a while.

Right. So at some point, you're like, you decide to be, like, fuck. and I'm just doing this because right like because you're just kissing her you're kind of like yeah I decided that you know I'm gonna you know make her feel good you know I'm gonna go down on her and you know I'm never gonna put you know my penis in her but it just I know I don't I don't I don't weird single language though no no this is how I say this all the time my by guys like we all just frame things in our mind in certain ways and sort of think about things so that it sits okay with us, right?

So at this point, like, well, you're like, okay, I'm going to, you know, I'm a good, I'm being nice. Like, I'm going to make her feel good, you know, I'm going to be nice to her. And it's not bad because, you know, I'm not doing any, I'm not putting my dick in her. That's, that's sort of true. I still thought this was, this was really bad. Like, I'm being horrible, like a horrible person, basically. But it was helping her.

so I kind of sacrifice myself sometimes. I don't, and not in this case, it's not really sacrificing, but... You're like the cheating Gandhi. Like, you know, you were doing, you were like being... I don't feel like that, but... No, but like you were, you're kind of making it out as if, like, you were like, you know, doing something for her and you had, you were getting nothing out of it yourself. At this point, because your dick isn't involved.

it yet. But you do fuck her, right? Yes, I did. Okay, so when did it get to that point? So, you know, after I go down on her, she basically pulled me up on my knees, like on her bed. And she just, you know, rips my pants down and, you know, starts giving me a blowjob. And that... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm laughing. I don't know why. Thank you. Is it just my awkwardness with saying me words or what? Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's that you're, because you're so unwilling. Like, you're, like, you're, like, almost, it's, it's almost like an innocent rape story. It's not rape.

I should use the word, but, like, you know, because you're, on some level, you're kind of protesting that, like, you're not, you don't want to. do this and you know you're not into it and you think it's okay but you feel bad but now and now she like is like literally like blowing you it's just funny that you're like in this position considering like you know where you were like you know in your car you know 20 minutes ago yeah yeah i know it's this was over the course of quite a while too though so it wasn't like okay an hour ago you know what my point is I know.

You're entertaining me. I think it's funny. It's not a bad thing. I'm glad this entertainment for you. I know I might be laughing, but this is... No, we haven't gone to the bad part yet. You have to laugh. Listen, if you can't fucking laugh at shit in life, come on.

Come on. Listen, if you can't laugh at this stuff, like, what am I going to be... You'd rather me sit here and berate you for cheating on your wife and call you a terrible person and cry with you? I mean, come on. You're lucky I'm laughing at this. So...

I know. So she's voraciously blowing you on the bed, okay? And then... Okay. And was it good? I mean, yeah. Okay. Finally.

Yeah. And, like, my wife doesn't really... I mean, we've been together a while, and, you know, she doesn't really do that anymore. And I've never been deep-throated before, and that's... She started doing this. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah.

So that was like a whole new thing. She's gagging a little bit. It's, I think at this point it's like I'm starting to really get into that. Well, I know I was getting into it before, but this, yeah, it was. It took like it became like a really kinky. Oh, my God, oh my God. Yeah. What was it?

Like it became like sort of kinky and because now she's gagging and deep throoting. You know, these are things that like, you know you can never get at. home. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, after, after, you know, the blowjob for a while, she, she laid down on her back and kind of pulled me back down on top of her and, you know, we started kissing again and, you know, it's kissing her neck and then, you know, naturally things the lineup and, you know, I look down and, you know, it's almost in. And then, you know, I start telling her, like, I just can't, I just can't do this. Like, this is.

Right. You know, and basically she grabs my ass and basically pulls me inside of her. And it felt, oh, my God, it felt, it felt great. I mean, it was totally different. but yeah and um so so we're having sex for a while and she was moaning by i mean she was moaning quite a bit and i was not you know i was not used to that um yeah i mean i had to take a break for a second we also not used to it right right and now you're not using a condom with her right no because this happened all

that was another thing Okay. So anyway, I know that we don't have much longer because you only have an hour. So let's get, let's stick to the story. So you're like, you're, you had to take a break because she's like you're going to come and she's like moaning so loud that like it's like really hot. Yeah. And, you know, that all of a sudden, you know, I hear the door, or the door creek, you know,

and I look, look back and I just kind of, you know, I just freeze. I don't even get up. I just free. You know? And, you know, her boyfriend's standing there. And, you know, he was obviously very angry. And what does he say? He tried to flams the door and leave. What did he say?

Yeah, nothing. And just like, yeah. He said, get the fuck out of here. But I don't know if he was talking to her or me. I assume me, but at the time I thought it was her. Right. And what is? And then he walks out.

It felt like I was just, you know, hovering over her for, you know, it felt like 20 minutes. I can imagine. But I know it wasn't that much. Yeah. 30 seconds. You're like in shock, I'm sure. I mean, yeah, that's like shock. That's like time, stand, still.

Yeah. Then reality all of since comes rushing back and it's like, what the hell am I doing? Where am I? I'm disgusting person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a terrible. It's a terrible place to be in.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, he runs out and, you know, gets in his truck. And I just start apologizing to her and she apologizes to me. And she says, I need to leave, you know. So, you know, I basically just leave. That was it. And, you know, I message her, you know, apologizing again.

Mm-hmm. And she says that, you know, I message her, you know, apologizing again. that it really opened her eyes, his reaction. You know, he must really care about me. Which it may, that may be true, but, you know, on that social media site that I was on, and the very next day I see, you know, them having happy pictures together that, you know, that they're, you know, now doing something together. It was like, how, how is this possible?

like I, you know, I didn't even, you know, I didn't walk in on my wife and I'm, I'm feeling like, you know, a piece of garbage right now. Wow. Mm-hmm. And now I know, like, in the email, you said to me, like, do you think, like, there's a, maybe they were, like, into that and set that up on purpose, right? Is that a thought in your mind? That was one of the scenarios when I didn't actually hear the front door open. Mm-hmm. And there was a room that was closed.

I don't know if he was just in there listening or, but, you know, I have no evidence of that. That's just one of the scenarios that, you know, it was just. Well, she didn't fit, like, did she come when she was with you? Like when you were... She calm. Oh.

Calm, calm. Like, did she calm? Like, did she orgasm when you were fucking her? And was she done with her orgasm? I believe she did. Okay. She was moaning pretty loud for her not to have, but... Mm-hmm.

And then he walked out. Or walked in? Yeah, then he walked in, yeah. It wasn't directly after, but... It was around that time. So part of you wondered, do you still wonder that? Mm-hmm. I kind of do, but I just can't imagine being okay with each other that soon after.

That's why that scenario kind of... But this is the thing that it's twofold, right? It could be. I mean, like, seriously, because I've had people on my show that have been into that. I've heard about people being into that. People do set up that scenario. You know? It's not, I mean, it's not common,

but it's not, you know, out of the realm of possibility. Plus, just the way she was talking, like, oh, he never comes home this early and, you know, and then all of a sudden he's there that early. I don't get how, you know. Right, like, is that a coincidence or right? And then they're so happy. This is the one thing that I would say about the pictures and stuff.

Like, I mean, listen, anyone could take pictures. no in this day and age of social media. Like everything is a ruse, right? All those pictures. It's all such bullshit. Like you could say, oh, I see happy pictures of them. That's one second they're smiling in a picture. You don't necessarily, okay?

That's not like, you know, total proof that he came back into their life and he was completely fine with the fact that she was fucking you the next day, right? Like, you can't go by pictures. It's all such bullshit, you know, for real. Yeah. I can see the scenario where maybe she. did use you as a way to get him back because she was upset. I have, I'm not a cheater, but in my early days when I was like messed up and I would drink a lot, like I had one guy that I would

fuck another guy behind his back all the time to get like sort of fake confidence in my relationship. So like girls can cheat in that way. I've done it. I understand. You know what I mean? And then she used it as a way to get him back. And what happened? And what happened? And what happened? sometimes after you catch someone cheating is like maybe things aren't so good but you want to get them back and like own them like maybe like he because he saw her with you he was like oh fuck that no one's going to have my girl i'm going to have her back so he immediately took her back but you don't know what would happen to their relationship your trust would go out the window and things wouldn't probably be able to recoup from that especially since they've only been together for a year you know

so you know basically so what happened after that is like you messager she said my eyes opened up and then she just doesn't want to talk to you anymore right yeah she said she needs to you know not talking anymore so she can be you know faithful with him and which which i understood like you know she she she wants to be with this guy again so right all great for her uh-huh you know then there's those scenarios that are played in my mind like oh did she just use me did she you know like like what you're saying and yeah well let me ask you this what like okay what like what did when you were driving over there or when you were screwing her or when you were talking to her like what is the scenario that you, like, what is it that you thought was happening?

Like, did you think she was actually liking you more? Like, I mean, what would be the big deal if she was kind of using you? You know, like, what is, like, what is that shattering in you? Like, what kind of fantasy did you have that was going on? You know what I'm saying? See, that's the, that's the thing. It's like, I think maybe because I, you know, I've only, I only slept my wife before. And it was so attached to, you know,

you know, love that I, you know, I associate the two. I can't really separate them. That's the other problem. It's like I started trying myself thinking about her a lot, like all of a sudden I was in love with her, but it's like, no, I can't be. I barely know her. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it was just because I was, you know, I'm associating the two.

It's not, I don't even think it's the love thing. I really think maybe also it's because you're a guy who has, I don't know, you've listened to all my doctor guy email right you've listened to most of my podcast right so you've probably heard doctor guy's a good friend of mine who I and he's like a guy who's like a total womanizer and he fucks a million girls and he's really hot but he told me recently he said you know Kathy you probably like got guys all your life you know and so it was like that's so it's no big deal to you he said but when I was in high school I was like fat and ugly and I didn't get any girls he said so like I am like trying to prove something to myself now and you find that in a lot of guys and so I I don't think you're equating it to love. I think you're equating it to that part of you that is so needy of somebody to validate you because you didn't get a lot of that validation. I mean, listen, you had one girl your whole life. Some people's ego gets fed by tons of women and they fuck a lot of people.

You know what I mean? And it feeds that part of you, that ego. And I think for you, because you never had that, someone finally came into your life. and she probably did kind of use you. And, you know, on some level, that doesn't mean that you're any less than. You still had the experience, but it's really showing you this part of yourself

that you have that maybe you should sort of look at that, you know, and why you probably feel so shafted because it uncovered or sort of connected you to this part of yourself, that quote unquote, low self-esteem part of yourself. that really is probably very needy of that kind of attention. So when the first person comes along, even though she's completely using you in whatever way, shape, or form, you just like ate that shit up. And now you're so devastated as if you were like in love with her. And I get that because

that's just like this dysfunctional pull. Whatever it is that we have, that's an issue, is always going to feel like a lot more of a pull or have a lot more of a like like a hold on you, you know, and that plays out in people's lives in different ways. And I just think that you need to know that this isn't about her at all. Forget about her. Don't ever tell your wife, please. I mean, please don't tell me that there's any part of you that thinks you should tell your wife.

There is, but also I know what it is. would do. No, I'm telling you, don't tell your wife. We are very, very happy together. I'm telling you, don't tell your wife. I love our kids. You're not going to tell her. That's what I'm saying.

Like, there's no part of you that wants to tell your wife, right? I do want to, but I know I never will. Please, don't ever. There's no reason. There's no reason to. I know, I know. You want to tell her, you want to know why, because on some level right now it's hard for you to sit with.

And you think telling her- It is very hard. Yeah, it's very hard. But that's your, that's like your consequences, okay? And that's what you need to take, okay? Those are your... I even... Yeah.

No, you go. I even told myself that this is, you know, this is my punishment now, you know? 100%. And that's all the pun, and just so you know, that's all the punishment you need. You do not need to lose your family. Your wife doesn't need to know. This isn't about her. You love her.

You love your kids. You're not unhappy with her. You have a fantastic marriage. marriage, okay? This is just about you and your low self-esteem. It's a little bump in the road. It's something you need to sit with. You did something that wasn't sort of in line with who you are because of this, like,

weak part of yourself. Eventually, you're going to have to forgive yourself. This isn't who you are. It's just something that you did. And the reason why you're weighing so heavily on is because it's hard for you to sit with because it's sort of pushing those. low self-esteem buttons in you. Do you know what I mean?

And that's what it is. And you just be better off going back to your happy nudist every now and then anal action life with your wife, okay? And just letting this eventually go away. Eventually you will work this out in your own self. You have to sit with this. It's very uncomfortable. I know that.

You have to, but you will eventually get to the place. where you will eventually have to forgive yourself. You just will. And when you do that, you'll feel okay about it and you'll probably go your whole life and never do it again. And it'll be much better off that. You didn't have to tell your wife about it.

I'm telling you. And some people are probably driving their cars thinking like, that's so fucking wrong. You should tell her. But I don't fucking care. Like it's not like you're in love with somebody else. It's not like you guys have problems. You know, this is just this weird thing that happened in your life.

like I said, it was the perfect storm. This girl took advantage of you and you were able to be taken advantage of because of this thing that maybe is unresolved in you, your low self-esteem thing. And maybe you should work on that, you know? But take the hit, suffer the consequences. If you feel terrible about what you do, well, that's what you get, right? So eventually, though, that will go away. But promise me you never tell anybody.

that this happens and you don't ever talk to her again. No matter how much you want to validate and go back to that sort of place, realize that that emptiness inside of you that you feel, that girl can't fix it. This is like your low self-esteem that you need to work on. And self-esteem is called self-esteem because it comes from yourself, not somebody else. Do you understand?

So that's what it's about. So resist the urge, feel the uncomfortable feelings and do nothing and let time heal. this situation. Okay. Okay. Sit with your awful feeling. I mean, listen, I do think she kind of used you.

It could be that they set it up. But I really think that none of it really matters because you're not in love with her. That's the craziest thing I heard. But it's very delusional because you're coming from like a dysfunctional place. Like it's almost like they say like when you're in your dysfunction. It's like child mind. Like a child thinks that. You know, you're not, the adult part of you is not thinking that.

It's the dysfunctional part of you is thinking that this was something more than it was. And need to know that that's just delusional thinking. Do you understand? And just try not to feed those thoughts. They have to exist because they're a part of you. Do you know what I'm saying? But don't sort of act on them by reaching out to her. Don't act on them by telling your wife because you need to like, you know, make yourself feel better.

Because it's not going to make yourself feel better, okay? Yeah, yeah. But eventually it'll go away and know that it doesn't matter whether she used you, whether it was set up and probably the best thing is that not to talk about to her anymore. And eventually, I swear to you, you'll get over it and your life will go on and you'll forget about her. I hope so, yeah. You hope so. Well, thank you for everything.

Yeah. You hope so. It was pretty recent. How long ago was this? It was pretty recent. Isn't it so interesting that you've been listening to my podcast and all these people do all this crazy stuff and then all of a sudden you're one of those people? Yep, yep.

Isn't it? You just never know. It must be your fault then. You can blame it on me if that makes you feel better. Okay, no, thank you so much for calling in. Oh, thank you. Keep me posting. Don't sabotage.

Thank you. Okay, good. Don't sabotage. Goodbye. Okay. Bye. Thank you. Bye.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, strictly enough. wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name.

And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order. the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is

basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is. available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.

It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audio book, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at Gmail.

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