Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 186 - Gabe's Wife Cheated on him and Now he's Banging Escorts

Episode Date: July 10, 2017

Gabe found out his wife was cheating on him and when he confronted her she confessed that she had cheated on him more than once. How many times did she cheat on him? Who did she cheat on him with? How did he find out she was cheating in the first place? Tune in to find out, plus hear all about how he has been cheating on her with random escorts and how that has been going for him. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on my show, I'm always looking for people to call in. This is a call-invice show where I talk to people about their problems. I give them advice. I think my advice is good, but like I'm no therapist. So I always say it's like unprofessional advice. but I also talk to people who just want to, like, reveal, like, their secret lives, their naughty lives, their things that they do. I don't know. But anyway, if you want to be on my show, you remain totally anonymous, which is a good thing.

Send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. Today I have on a guy who was a listener of my show and a recent listener. and he called in to tell me his story about his wife cheating on him. This happened a little while ago and I mean you could tell by the title, right? Like what I title? Like the guy cheats, his wife cheated on him now he's fucking escorts. And that's the deal. And it's funny because I taped two guys, two guys, both of them wrote into me and said that

they wanted to talk about their story and both of them had wives who cheated on them. And both of them have very, both of them dealt with the children. cheating and the aftermath in a very different way and both of them have very different outcomes. This guy, I'm airing first. He's, like I said, his outcome and the way he's dealing with it is he's fucking escorts. Now he's the cheater. And then I'm going to air you the one where the guy sort of dealt with things very differently and he had a very different outcome and what's going on with him and his wife now.

You wouldn't fucking believe that story. but I'm airing this one first and then eventually I think I got to put these two guys together because I think the second guy could teach this guy today something a little I could like help him but anyway this guy's name is Gabe and you're gonna learn all about how he found out his wife was cheating who she was cheating with

what she was doing what kind of shit he found in her phone and all that kind of stuff and then why he started fucking escorts and how that's been for him and whether his wife and him are together and all that kind of stuff. Like I said, like, I mean, like, I don't know that I said this, but I think that, like, I typically have guys that cheat on their wives, right? And we hear that story all the time, but men get cheated on.

My brother was cheated on by his wife. I think that it's something that happens a lot, but maybe people don't talk about it as much. Like I said, because I think it's because I think, whatever I think. Who fucking cares what I think? Let's just give to the story. I'm going to be right back on with Gabe. You're a listener of my show, right? You said you're a recent listener.

Like, you just found my show two months ago. I found you about two months ago, and I listened to some people just tell you something. I was like, wow. And usually what I try and do when I listen to tons of podcasts. But I try and look at the titles, and I go back and say, well, I don't want to start here because, you know, I want to sort of get caught up, get to know the people. And when I heard George, there were just so many good topics. I just go right in.

Right. Yeah. It was great. And you, I mean, you say you're doing fantastic. But, like, I mean, you wrote me in and said, oh, I'm a listener of your show. And, but you wanted to talk about something like you, your wife recently cheated on you, right? Was it recent? I mean, how long did she cheat on you?

It was close to two years ago. Okay. And you were with her for 20 years. That's what you said, right? Yes, correct. And since that, I'm just going to give the whole overview. Like, since then, you've been, like, massive. cheating on her. But like, start from the beginning, kind of like how you found out that she was

actually cheating on you. Well, it's, you know, I've heard so many people where they say, well, you know, there was inklings in the back of my mind, but no, I really never thought. And once it came the light, it was like, oh, wow, that, that, I should have known. I should have know. Why, there was like two and two all of a sudden equaled for for you. Like there were signs to you, if you're looking back. Yeah. So for instance, this is not how I found out. This is before I found out. She was on Facebook, and she had had a message to a guy.

She had known since high school, and the message was, it was, yeah, we probably shouldn't meet, you know, considering we both have significant others. And I was like, well, that's not really true. cheating. She's kind of, you know, it's, yeah, she didn't do anything, but why would you say that? You know, but again, because it was, she wouldn't cheat on me. I never really thought about it. Right. She was diffusing a situation. So about two years ago, I'm checking, she got a new iPhone. Right.

And when she got a new iPhone, she left her old iPhone at home. Mm-hmm. So, you know, I had her passcode and everything, and every now and again, I look through it and this time for some reason she had a friend. And I saw the friend's name under there twice. Where a friend in, like, Facebook, or what do you mean a friend? Like a friend in, like, her call log or something? In her text logs.

Okay, okay. So she had a contact, and that contact had two different entries. And I said, wow, that's kind of odd. You know, why would you need two entries for your friend? Because I only know that you have one friend by this name. and I looked at it and I tell you I will never forget what the text said. What did it say? It said, wow, I've never had anyone lick my balls before.

Oh my God. Oh, my God. I mean, I'm sorry to laugh because that's probably horrifying, right? Yeah, yeah. I've never felt like that before. her response to the guy was wow all you so that's what you do sit around and think about that and he said no what i think about is fucking you in the ass while i use a vibrator oh my god and i just was like wow i mean you know it's one thing to find out and have inkling and it's another

to have like a vivid description of like wow Yeah, like what this guy did to your girl. Like, that's your girl. You know. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. But we, can you just explain to me? Because I'm just curious, probably nobody else's, but like, you said that there was two entries in her phone for this one friend.

What do you mean two entries? Like two texts or she had him in there as two different names or something? No, no. So what she had, was she had a girlfriend. Let's say I'll call her Carol. Yeah. I knew Carol. Uh-huh.

but when you go through you see one text for Carol and then another text for Carol Right and let me just tell you I have some girlfriends who have cheated in the past and just like And that's what they do They put their guys that they're talking to

In their phone as girlfriends Right And just you're so, it's so weird That you say this because one of my friends Had me in as two different people It's like why are girls so stupid Or guys? Like if you really want to cheat, make up another girl name.

Don't make it like your same friend's name. But I guess if you're married to someone for 20 years, you think the thinking is that, oh, if I all of a sudden even put in someone named Lisa and you know she doesn't know anyone named Lisa, you're going to get suspicious, right? That's probably why people do it, right? They think. But then there's her real friend Carol texted her and then her guy friend Carol texted her. Right, right, exactly.

Oh, God. And it was, that feeling, I just, I've never had that feeling before. And, you know, I thought we had, we were going to counseling. And my thing was, we, we were going to counseling, in my mind, a sort of preventive type medicine. Like, nothing's really wrong, but let's just go every couple years and see how things are going, make sure we're on the same things. and with her it was always, you know, everything, we're good.

Everything's great. No problem, no problem. Well, when you say you would go for a year, like every now and then, would you just go once a year or would you go for a couple months every year? No, no, we'd go for, maybe anywhere from a month or two. Four, maybe eight visits. Okay. Yeah, just, again, just to just a tune up. In my mind, it was a tune up.

Okay, and she was always like, we're cool. Everything's great. Right, right. Not that we never had any issues at all, but the issues were minor and, yeah, we'll get over it. And yeah, that's how he is. And that's how I am. And I've got to get over this and he's going to work on that. So all in all, I thought we had a good marriage.

Right. But what happened was I actually kept, so I found out, I called her, but I wouldn't give her the phone back. Mm-hmm. Okay. And so in addition to that, I looked in the phone. Oh, no. And I found out that she had been having sex talks with her, with her cousin. Wait.

And I was like, a guy cousin of hers? Like a, like a blood relative? Yes, a blood relative. Yeah, but was it in there as a phoning contact or was this her real cousin? No. Like, how did you know that that was actually her real cousin? This was her real cousin. This was, you know, based on the conversation, I know this cousin.

and it was the real cousin. So there was no need to hide the cousin because I know that she had spoken to him. And they were, I mean, in my mind, it was just cousin. You know, what are you going to do with your cousin? Oh, my God. But wait, was this like her real cousin,

like her mother's sister's daughter, like, I mean son, like, you know, because sometimes people call people cousins, but they're not really cousins. Like this was the real deal, one person cousin. He was the real deal at the family reunion. Hey, uncle, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hey, cousin, blah, blah, blah.

Real-deal cousin. Holy shit, did you have, was there any kind of, like, I mean, because that's just such an interesting sort of story. Like, was there, like, a timeline of how that even went down? Or did you just, like, sort of come in in the middle of it? Like, how did she wind up with her cousin? Well, so what, her cousin, she would talk to her cousin. You know, like I talked to my brother or my sister.

You know, you talk to them every couple months, but they were a little bit closer. And what she would often say was, listen to him, anytime we have, like, problems, I try and get a male perspective because I want to see where you're coming from. And so she would talk to him sometimes after we'd have an argument and she'd talk, and they'd have trouble. And she would tell me about some of the problems that they'd have because he was married as well. Oh, yeah, his wife is doing this and his wife left him and they're taking a break right now and, you know, I feel bad for, you know, just regular conversation.

So I didn't think anything elicited about it. Right. It's just a relative that, you know, I figured a cousin was better than just a guy friend, you know, people have guy friends and you're like, oh, why you spend so much time with this guy? But if a cousin, it's, yeah, no problem. Right. There's no way your mind ever, your mind ever is going to worry about that. Right, right.

But what do you, were they actually hooking up or just, What do you mean they were like having sexual, like they were like sexting? Like what was the extent of what you saw in that text message exchange between them? So that, that exchange was like they were planning something. Because she had said that, you know, I've been told that, you know, I'm good at this and you're going to find out. Like I've been told I give really good. head and you're going to find out soon? Yeah.

And what would he say? He say, you know, don't talk about it. Show me. Oh, my God. Now, do you know for a fact whether they ever hooked up or not? I don't know for a fact. I'm just going by the text that seemed like they had it. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. The text seemed like they hadn't yet, right? It was like they were working their way towards it. Right, right, right. Oh my God So wait When you call her One second

When you call her And you said I called her Right But I didn't give her back her phone Like did you confront her Or what did you say When you called her? I said

I got your phone Who's this? Mm-hmm Who's And I used it like Again We're using cow Who's this cow

Yeah And then And she just said Hold on I'm leaving work I'll be right home. We need to talk.

We need to talk. We need to talk. Right. And then you hang up the phone. And while she's on her way home, you keep looking and you find the cousin thing. Do you call her back and you're like, holy shit. What the hell is this? No.

Okay. No, I don't call her back. I wait for her. Uh-huh. And we just argue. Well, it's not even an argument. I'm yelling and cursing and she's crying and saying how sorry she is. Oh, God.

so on. And so, go ahead. No, no, no, you go. So I say, at first it's like nothing. There's nothing that she can really say. I don't want to see a counselor.

I don't want to do anything. And she said, well, maybe we should, you know, go see the counselor again. And in my mind, I think I say this too,

I'm not sure. We've been seeing a counselor for the last, you know, 10 years. What's seeing a counselor going to do this time? Right. Obviously it didn't help. Right. Right. Right. And so, you know, we stay together.

You know, she's speaking on the couch. Yeah, we do. Okay. Okay, cool. I mean, you married 20 years. That's why someone doesn't just walk out, right? There's a lot of things to consider when you have kids and you've been with somebody for a really long time, right? At that time, two years ago, how old were your kids and how many kids do you have? have together? We have two. And one was, so this is the other thing. One was sailing out of college when I found out. The other one was going into high school. Okay, so they were older. And so, right, right. And, you know, you start thinking about, at least in my, for me, you start thinking about these things that really shouldn't matter that much. But how could you do this when we've got a son who has trouble in college.

You know, how can we do this when? But it, you know, it doesn't matter. You're going to do what you're going to do. And it's, you know, you don't care. Obviously, you don't care. Right. You're thinking that you and her are both, like, focused on your child and trying to figure, solve that problem when it turns out there was like a big problem between

you and her that you didn't even know about that she was trying to solve. Right, right. Right. Right. You know, we're fixing up the house. We're remodeling the house and all these other things. thing. I'm like, well, I thought everything. And in fact, what really got, or I'll say what really got me, because so much got me.

Yeah. But, you know, a couple of weeks before I found the phone, again, I told you, I'm a big podcast listener. So I say, you know what? I've been listening to this podcast about marriage and what I really want to say is I'm going to try and be, I just want to be a better husband. And she looks at me dead in my eyes and she says, and you know what, I want to be a better wife. And, you know, I'm thinking, wow, this is good. You know, life is good.

Right. And when you say, like, she looked you right in the eyes. Like, you really, like, you really believed her, like, right? At that moment. And then I'm sure you, that's when you say that really gets to you that, like, when you find out that she cheated on you, you go back to that moment, you realize, like, how does somebody that, you know, could look you right in the eye and blatantly lie, right? I mean, that's the kind of. Exactly. I mean, it's just really devastating.

I mean, how do you build trust, you know, with somebody? Or how do you regain trust with somebody that, you know, did that to you? Or could do that to you? And one thing that's, I keep saying one thing, I guess it's just a habit. But you're, you know how when you're with a counselor and they say, well, listen, you know, these are some of the signs. What did you stop having sex as much? Well, no, not really.

We were still, you know, two, three times a week while she was. you know, cheating on me. Were we spending time together? Yeah, in fact, what we had done and we had made up this kind of game that we tried to, I don't say a game, we wanted to evaluate things. When I say evaluate, what's the word? That's right. Because I use this with the counselor.

Right. You try and put, you put stuff into the so-called love bank. So you spend time together. And so our thing was hamburgers. We were going to try all the hamburgers in the area that I lived. That was our thing. Right, because you guys love hamburgers. Yeah, yeah.

Every day that I had off and we had off together, we would try a new hamburger spot. Right. And we'd evaluate and rank up. And you're thinking that's building, you know, something. Yeah, that's like what people say, oh, date night, go on a date night. Like, I mean, you guys were, like, actually spending time, quality time together. Right, right. Which sometimes goes.

falls to the wayside a lot of times with people who have been with each other for as long as you guys were but what you're trying to say is like you were still like doing that stuff because you wanted to you weren't even like force like was it like a force thing

or like you guys were just no no right no not at all it was something that I wanted to do and both like burgers let's make a thing out of it hey you had a long day at work hey come here let me uh let me uh let me wash your feet.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, we'll sit here and we'll watch something on Netflix and I'll wash your feet. Mm-hmm. And it was just that type of thing that made me think that, wow, I've got something good. I think she appreciates the fact that she's got something good. And lo and behold, you know, she said, oh, I still love you. You were my best friend. And I'm thinking, no, no, no.

and so I asked I said well how many times have you cheated on me and I don't again I don't know why that even matters but she said throughout our relationship and this was the third time oh wow

yeah I mean you didn't even what don't you believe that what don't you believe if you ask somebody how many times you ask a woman how many guys that she's been with before you

what is they say multiplied by three Yeah, but listen No, no, no, but I'm I kind of believe her, this is why Because I feel like Either she's going to say just one Because that's all you have proof for I mean, that's what she would say

If she was lying, don't you think? She'd be like, this was the only time The fact that she actually copped to other ones that you had no proof of I feel like seems pretty honest, no? Why would she say three? Maybe under, because maybe it's six and she thinks three is something that. Right.

Listen, I get why you don't believe a fucking word that comes out of her mouth, right, because of what happened to you, you know, like, listen, that kind of stuff makes you like crazy, you know, when you, when someone looks you in the face, it is like that you feel like you know them so well and you trust them and it's like the rug is pulled from underneath you and they're blatantly lying to, you know. so I get why you can't really believe anything but it's it could be true like did she did you want details of those other times or those other scenarios did she offer them up I mean like what what kind of information were you looking for she she she offered it in the in the set I say well you know how how many times how much how long has it been going on yeah with that guy yeah and then I said yeah

and then I said well is this the first time mm-hmm and then both of those she you You know, she gave me the respective answers. Mm-hmm. And she told me, you know, I don't know if she was, you know, it's kind of weird. I'm older than her by 10 years. How old are you? How old is she? I'm 40.

I'm sorry. She's 40. I'm 50. Okay. Uh-huh. So when you met her, she was 20. Right. Okay.

And you were 30. You probably fucked a lot more people in that 20 to 30. time period that you had before you were with her. She really never had that time before you, right? Like, do you know her, her, like, sexual history that, like, you know, before she was with you? Like, did she lose your virginity with you? Like, was she, did she have any boyfriends before you?

No, no. Yeah, she had boyfriends before me. Okay. It was, I mean, she was nowhere near a virgin. I mean, I'm not saying that she was a wharf. I was like she was not a virgin. Right, right, right. Okay, cool.

So she had been around and had a little fun, but I still think. 20 is very young to like sort of hang your hat in one place, right? And for 20 years. I get that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And, and so, you know, you look,

so you go to counseling and I listen to different therapists. They say, you know, what was your role in this? You know, what did you do to sort of precipitate it? Not that you did anything wrong, but can you just sort of see how what you might have done? But then what always comes back is that, but with her cousin, so everything goes out the window for me when you start talking about your cousin. You know what I mean? Well, what did she say about the cousin thing when you confronted her about the cousin thing?

Like, what was her explanation? Did she, what did she say? She said that they, she said, I shouldn't have done it. Sometimes we just got a little carried away. And we were never going to do anything. I was just, I would always put them all. and we were never going to do anything. So I purposely make it, you know, we'll meet up this Sunday,

knowing that he'd be going to church and I'd be going to church. Church. Yeah, yeah, right. Okay, right. So she had no intention on ever doing anything with the cousin. Yeah, but don't you still think that's kind of fine? But I still think, especially if it was like reverse, right, if this was a man doing it to a woman.

Like, I mean, there's still something, I mean, you can't say, it's cheating because they're not like fucking each other but like if she's having sexually like explicit conversations with somebody else especially someone that's a family member that you're going to see it's like a secret thing I mean that's a that's as bad as cheating right

right I mean I think so you know it doesn't matter that they weren't going to be and you know what it's just a matter of time that they would have because you know if there's that the little itch between them of some sort of like illicit horniness that's happening between them and considering she was the type that had already crossed the line, you know, as far as, you know, cheating behind your back.

What are the odds that they wouldn't have wound up in the church bushes one day? You know what I mean? I think they would have. Yeah, I think so too. So, yeah, I didn't buy it at all. Well, I think, listen, she might not believe, she might listen, when she, when she saying that a lot of times like we lie to ourselves and we don't even know like I don't think like she knew that she was going across the line or she knew that that was her intention eventually like

she probably believes that she was never going to that's how those that's why those situations are so dangerous when you're like putting stuff out there because you don't sometimes people you don't have that intention but on some level your subconscious is sort of pushing you towards something that, you know, is dangerous and you're going with it, you know? But I don't know that she knew that. So I think when she's sitting across from you saying I had never had planned, I was never going to do anything. She was probably telling the truth.

But we all know, and if she's probably honest with herself, like we all know that she would that that would have went out the window eventually. They would have probably hooked up because that's like a weird thing. Right. If you got something for a cousin, there's like a little bit of like, you know, um, like a thing there that you can't get with somebody else right like what what's what's the turn on there is it that he's your cousin like what the fuck like i don't know yeah i did you know i mean like it's a weird that's a whole other thing but i'm assuming she so she tells you we never did

anything like that cousin like did you ever confront him no i did okay and how old was he at the time I mean, how old is he in relation to her? Like, is he around her same age? Yeah, yeah, they're about the same age, yeah. So his wife never found out. As far as I know, right. Let me ask you this, because you said that, you know, her phone stayed at home when she got that new phone and you had her passcode and every now and then you would look.

When you would look in her phone, were you just looking because, like, you needed something in her phone or you needed a pet, like, or when you would look in her phone, were you looking for, like, evidence that she was possibly cheating on you? No, it's not that I thought she would, was. Let me just check. I don't think anything's going, but let me just see. And why do you think that is? Is it because you're like sort of that personality type that maybe you don't like

100% believe anybody and you never know? Like, I mean, I'm more that personality type, so I would totally get that. Or is it because do you think on some level you didn't fully trust her? Like, why do you think you would always every now and then look? I think I'm just that personality type. Right, okay. A little distrustful, like maybe. Yeah, yeah.

And so just a, go ahead. No, you go. What I, and so you said, I'm a little distrustful. What I found out was that one of my very good friends from high school was hitting on her. How did you find that out? In that same phone? In that same phone.

Yeah, well, let me tell you, I'm here to say as a girl, I mean, guys are totally not loyal to their guy friends. And I think guys don't even care. Yeah. I mean, in a weird way. Like, I mean, you know, guys will go after other guys' girls. Every time I would break up with a guy, all of his friends would hit on me afterwards. Like, that shit happens all the time. Like, guys have no loyalty.

And I don't think that, like I said, that guys even care about that loyal. so much on some level, you know? Even though it's, it doesn't feel good, right? There's, I don't know. Like, is there a brocode like that? There should be, and there probably is with some guys, but I think with a lot of guys, there's just not. I think that the brocode is in theory only.

We'll talk a good game. Right. And everybody will say it. Yeah. No, no, I wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't do that. And then, you know, oh, wow. He's free, huh?

So wait, what was the evidence that you found about out? Like, how did you find out about that again? So that was the same thing through the phone. But what had happened was, so remember that cousin that I told you about. Yeah. She, she had, the conversation was, listen, his friend is trying to hit on me. What should I do? Should I tell him?

Or what should I do? Okay. And he said, and he said, well, yeah, you should tell him. But what had happened was I had found out before she had a chance to tell me. So now I'm thinking, well, why didn't you even tell me about it? And to that extent, I understand a little bit. I don't want to break. He's been your friend for, you know, 20 years.

Yeah, she doesn't want to start trouble. Don't want to mess up your friendship. Yeah, yeah. And so I got that. But just in terms of me being trustful, you know, it's, yeah. But wait, that was something that you found out later on. Like, I mean, the whole thing about you finding out that the friend was hitting on her. you found out all of this information at that same moment, right?

None of it. No. No. Oh, okay. That you found out way before. And that's maybe a part of the reason why you were checking her phone. Exactly. How did you find out about that?

About the friend? Yeah. Oh, yeah, through looking at a phone. Okay, so, but it's like the chicken and the egg, which came first. Like you're saying, why were you looking in her phone if you didn't know that the friend was hitting on her? Like, you found out the friend was hitting on her. Oh, okay.

You know what I'm saying? No, no, okay, I got you. I got you. So I've always been like that. Right. And so seeing stuff like the friend made me say, hey, you're justified in feeling like that. So if you go back, you know, 15, 10 years ago, I feel a little, well, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. After that, it's like, well, no, no, you need to check every now and again just to be on the safe side.

Okay, right. So let me ask you this before. Were you a cheater in your life when you were younger or did anyone else ever cheat on you? Like where do you think your sort of your distrustful shit comes from? I was not a cheater. In fact, I was a, I was a relationship guy. Okay. And I don't know where that comes from.

Maybe from shit that went down in your house when you were growing up. well I mean my my stepdad was a cheater he was and would your mom come to about it or like how did how did that play out in your like household well so so I didn't find out about it so much later when I was a young

you know I was in college and I found out that he had a son that was you know my brother's age oh wow I was like oh wow yeah yeah okay Well, that's kind of hardcore if you think about it. I mean, how long was your stepdad for? Like, how long did you know him for?

Oh, probably. I say about, he came into my life when I was probably about nine, ten years old. Right. So, like, ten years later, you find out a major thing that almost makes him like a different person that, like, you didn't know. So that could definitely rock your sort of, trust with people your damage, your trust? I think so.

Yeah. You know, it... Yeah. So what I've realized this, and so I've always been trying to fight. Fight what? The distrust? The distrust, right.

So even though I'm feeling a certain way, you know, for instance, I know some people that say, listen, you know, no I'm check yeah check your phone okay what of it you know and me I feel I felt bad about it and you know she'd go out with the girls on summer kid oh go ahead have a good time don't I don't care

go ahead I'm gonna I might feel a certain way but it didn't always express it to her right so you want to go out you've been out you know last weekend and this weekend but this is a new girl in town. Go ahead. Mm-hmm. Right.

You didn't let it rule you when you didn't, you weren't possessive over her even though, right? Like, I mean, you still let her live her life and you knew it was a little, like you sort of, you knew it was your sort of thing. You didn't put it on her completely. Right, right, exactly. Because you didn't have, well, you didn't have, I have trust issues so I understand. But you didn't have like anything on her at that point, you know?

Anyway. Right. I get that. I've had that same problem, and it is, it's very terrible. And I, I like you, have been the same, whereas I,

I've kept it very more about me and tried as much as I can not to put it on other people, but there is that saying, like what you resist persists. Do you know what I mean? And it's just like you could just only keep shit down that's there. And if you're not dealing with it and trying to work through it, you know, probably all those years in therapy,

like, you know, that you went with therapy. with her, like you should probably be in therapy for yourself for trust issues. I mean, you're probably dealing with that now, you know, I mean, and like, there's nothing better to bring up your distrust than to sort of go through this situation. I mean, this was like, this is like, you know, right, in a weird way, it's kind of like, oh, look, I was right, right? I didn't trust her. Right. Yeah. Like, and this was this thing. But in some way, too, it's almost like, as distrustful people, sometimes

we attract people that are not to be trusted because we have that issue. I believe that. Maybe not everybody does, you know, that's not to take away from the fact that you were totally fucked in the situation and you were the victim, you know. But, you know, it is, as much as she's not a trustful person, that's her problem. There's a big problem with somebody who cannot trust. You know what I mean? Because you went into that marriage and before any of this stuff happened, right? Was there any reason for you not to trust her? No. No. But you know, listen, I'm so contradictory because I always say on my podcast too, though, like, you know, people could smell things. So maybe you were distrustful because she wasn't to be trusted. But, you know, it's a weird,

it's a hard thing because I get the distrustful nature person that like you're doing a little snooping every now and then and trying to keep it under wraps, but you just don't, you don't buy it completely because you're distrustful, you know, so, but I, and I feel like I have not trusted people that were to be trusted, but most of the time it's the opposite. So it is a little complicated, but let's get back to your story because, I do think it has a lot to do with, no, but I, I mean, it's, it'll come up again, but like, I definitely think it has a lot to do with your stepdad. I don't care how old you were when that happened and you found out that still is you know I think horrifying to find out something I mean if this wasn't like oh you're he just cheated I mean

he had he had a son you had a brother like I have a half brother right that you didn't even know about like I mean that's pretty major well not necessarily he wouldn't because he was not he was not he would not have been related to me but it doesn't change the fact that you know well because he was kind of like at nine years old right like he's kind of like your dad. Like, right? I mean, you looked at him as your dad. So even if he's,

and if he had a son, even though the son wasn't related to you, like that would have been your brother, right? Did he come into the relationship with any other kids? No. Right. But, you know.

He had one son, he had one son with my mother. Right. And the other about the same age as my brother. Right. I mean, I'm sorry, but that whole,

that's so fucked up on so many levels. Yeah. You know, it is. So, and I think that that definitely damaged your trust for him and created these trust issues that you took forward with you into your marriage. And it's, you know, and now you're dealing with this. So, like, okay, back to your story. You find out she's crying.

She gives you all these things. Now, what makes you decide to, like, stay with her? Like, I mean, what's going on at that? Like, were you thinking maybe I should leave, but you're staying in the house? Are you living in another room? Like what happens kind of like immediately after? Immediately after she's sleeping on the couch. And I mean there was, you know, probably a week into it.

She's sleeping on the couch. And I hear her crying. And in my mind, they're crocodile tears. And I come downstairs and she has a knife. And she's saying I'm about to kill myself. Oh, no. And I'm saying to myself, honestly, you know, you don't make that. much noise if you really want to kill yourself.

These are just big crocodile tears to do whatever you want. I don't know. But she's sleeping on the couch for about two months. And within that first month, we start going to counseling. Right. Now, the counseling is the same counselor, but he's a counselor, but he's more religious-based. Oh, God. And which was, yeah, yeah, exactly.

I didn't know that at the time. Right. And so he's saying things. And in my mind, I'm screaming, but it's her freaking cousin. And he's like, well, you know, what you need is, you know, I think it's called community something, where if you're involved in a church community and you got a lot of friends and they keep each other in check. And so that's what you were missing in your relationship. You didn't have a bunch of people that would hold you accountable.

and I'm like, this is such a crock of shit. Yeah, it doesn't work. I mean, look, they were like going to church anyway. I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so we go to, we go to, we go for a while because I'm trying to see, all right, where is this going to lead? Where is this going to lead?

She's, you know, again, apologizing and what it is is communication and we need to communicate more. And it's just, I can't just. forget the text image. And it's like, you know, who, wow, you know, wow, licking his balls. Wow. Okay.

Wow. Talking her in the ass. I mean, you just, I mean, seriously, that's hardcore to, you know. Yeah, yeah. And so now I'm thinking, well, he was really, now she just, now I've, I've made a wife of someone who he just wants to use. Mm-hmm. He's just using her like whatever.

And I've put her on enough, you know, to say, wow, I'm going to make her my wife. And so I guess, you know, to that end, I really, well, let's go back a little bit. So the reason we're like, okay, we make pretty decent money as long as we're together, but we really can't afford to live apart. We've got kids involved who are still living with us. Do I feel like downsizing and renting a room somewhere? you know, what do we got to sell a house? And honestly, before all of this, remember, I'm saying to myself, I'm going to be the best husband I can be

because I think we have a good marriage. Right. We're still having sex two, three times a weekend, and she's still cooking dinner and breakfast on the weekend, and I'm thinking everything's great. Right. And so it's, you know, what happened? What's going on? You know, I don't trust her.

I don't know if I even respect her, but do I want to leave and start all over and everything seems okay here? You know, let me just sort of stick it out. And then, you know, I have revenge fantasies about putting the text from her cousin someplace or everybody can see what a horrible person she is, but that's not good for the kids to see. I wouldn't want the kids to know about the mother like that. And all these emotions are bubbling up in me. And honestly, I said, wow, maybe I could tell us to Kathy. Well, it's been too, but the whole thing happened two years ago, right?

Yes. And since then, how long after, because we need to get to your cheating. Okay, so I'm assuming you stayed with her, right? Okay. Like you worked through the, did you continue doing therapy? I mean, I would hope you got somebody else. no we didn't get anybody else we stopped going to therapy after about probably about six months i said well this is a clock or crap and i don't want to go anymore and she said well okay if you're okay

and you don't want to go anymore but i'll tell you real so um the last session she said he said i want to see you individually right and i said okay no problem so i go but the area he's in, I say, well, let me see if I can find an escort. And so I go to see him, and then right after I see him, that's why I go see an escort. The first time. Did you tell him the next time you went back? No, that was the last time. Oh, right, the last time. So you go, you talked to him, and I'm assuming you didn't tell him what you were doing afterwards. No, I did. And so that was about six months into the whole cheating thing. Now, what made you, start looking at escorts, was it just for the fact that I'm assuming it's because a part of that

sort of revenge part, like you said, you went through so many different emotions, right? That's a part of like getting back at somebody, right? Like I'm going to go fuck somebody else. I mean, because those text messages, you still can't get them out of your head and you think maybe you'll just like go do that same shit, right? And it'll maybe make you feel better. Right. And so you see your first escort, how is that? Not good. No? How come you felt? Did you feel bad?

Like it wasn't like what, like it didn't make you feel what you thought it would, right? You were doing it sort of probably to make you feel better. Right. It wasn't like you were there to cheat. Right. It wasn't like you really just need to get fucked by somebody else. You're not that guy. Right.

You were doing it because you thought it would relieve some of the feelings you had for her. And if anything, it just made you feel worse. Doesn't that suck? Yeah. Yeah. And it was, okay, so I know about three people that you've had sex with. You told me. You cheated on me three different times in total.

And so I said to myself, well, I'm going to screw three different women. Right. Okay. And that was, you know, that's how I was going to level of playing field. Right. Okay. So you got one down, the first escort. And even after it wasn't that good, and I'm assuming, like, you felt guilty or not,

right? Like is that why it wasn't good? Or like, was she just not hot? Like, what was the reason why it wasn't good? It was, she wasn't good. Oh, she wasn't good. So first let me, let me say that she was a $70 escort. So I, you know, you get what you pay for. So.

Oh, God. Here I am analyzing it. Like, oh, it didn't make you feel better because you felt bad. It was like, no, Kathy, it was because she sucked in bad. Yeah. Okay. And I did not feel guilty. Okay.

But what I said is I'm going to be a little bit more discerning the next time. And so I say to myself, okay, you've never been with an Asian woman before. Mm-hmm. Get yourself an Asian escort. Yeah, number two. Yeah, yeah. And I tried that and that was okay. Okay.

How much was she cost? At 120. Okay, and where would you meet these escorts since considering you still live with your wife? Were you just taking into motels, hotels? They were like, well, we haven't gotten through all of them, but some of them were at their places, some of them were at hotels. Okay, so you tried the Asian. She was okay, okay? Yeah, and then, and just try.

So so far I'm up to eight. Okay. Fast forward, which is more than the three that she told me about, but I don't care. Because you don't believe that there's only three. You're like it could be six, it could be ten, so really wise to, right? Yeah. And I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm going to do things that I've never had a chance to do before.

And that's it. I'm not really concerned about her or, you know. And is that where, when you say fast forward, is that like where you sort of sit today, two years later? Eight people, eight escorts? Yeah. You don't care what she does. Do you still snoop through her shit? Every now and again,

but she keeps, she pretty much just keeps me informed now where she's going, what she's doing, how she's doing it. And she doesn't suspect anything with you. I mean, she doesn't go snooping through your shit.

How smart are you with your text to these hookers in this shit? Like, what do you do? How do you keep your stuff secret? I'm not very good at it at all. And part of me is like, well if you find out you find so i remember you talking to maybe you said it to several people but you were like wow i can't believe you're actually on plenty of so i think it's plenty of

yeah there was somebody that was cheating with a picture i mean can you believe it i'm like you want to get caught on some level well yeah i have mine's on there mine is on there it is and my picture's on yeah on on on on on on on on same one plenty of fish in your in your town yeah yeah oh my god but you're oh my god oh my god oh my god God. I mean, so on some level or even not even, listen, on a lot of other people when I say that I feel like it is very subconscious, but for you, because I think you even maybe know that some part of you, like not even some part of you, there is a part of you that might want her to know because you're doing all this stuff to make her feel the way she made you feel. Really, right? You want her to feel how bad you felt, right? Right. Isn't that why you deep down inside looking for her? Because she really hurt you.

I mean, that hurt that you feel like you said when you saw it. Like, I mean, I laughed when you said it first and we're talking about it two years later. But I mean, like, you know, two years ago when you saw all that, I mean, how long does it take before like you wake up

and the first thought in your mind isn't, oh my God, somebody else fucked to my wife in the ass. Like, I mean, it's just, it's like beyond dealable. You know what I mean? Like that's really hard to take, right? And on some level, because you're still cheating on her and you talk about it,

you're kind of like now, like you don't say you don't care that much and you're fucking more than three people that you set out. Like there is some sort of you that like sort of shut down, right? Because you're not really in touch with those feelings because, and you probably didn't process them all out fully. Instead, because you went and sort of cheating on her and went down that path, you stopped, and it probably helped you just sort of put those feelings of sadness and all those other really uncomfortable feelings of the truth, right?

It sort of put that shit to bed. So now you're totally cut off and you could be fucking other women behind her back without any feelings whatsoever. Let me ask you this, because I had a girl whose husband cheated on her and she was really horrified, but then they decide to have an open relationship and then she fuck somebody else and she said that it made her really understand sort of how someone could do that and like she was more trusting because like some people will say oh it doesn't mean I don't love somebody and then once she realized that she could like love her husband and fuck other people and didn't change anything

she was much more understanding of the situation it's kind of like a backwards way of learning things do you feel that way at all like now that you've cheated on her right and you do it Right? Like you could now, like, is there any part of you that could, like, put yourself in her position? Because do you still love your wife, or do you think you lost something for her? I know I lost something. I don't know what, you know, it's two years. I don't know if I'm going to process it all. And, you know, five years from now, I'll be okay. Right now, I'm not. I'm not okay. And part of me says that maybe it's because you know the detail. It's one thing to know that, you know, it happened, but to see it in just such graphic detail, you know, that was your, that's what did it for you.

And so I don't know that I'll ever get past that part. Let me, it's just going back a little bit. So before I started, you know, with the escorts, what I did was that's what I went to, originally went to the online dating sites. Right. Yeah, you mentioned some websites. that I'm like, what does that mean? Puss, hush, shush, shish. I don't know what the fuck are those names.

I'm so, not dating right now. Zusk. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Like, just an online dating website or like a sex thing? Yeah, just online dating. Okay.

But what I found, so what I'm actually looking for and, you know, the escorts aren't going to get, aren't going to satisfy. I know that. Because what I'm looking for really is another. I'm looking for a woman who's fed up in her marriage who wants to cheat. Why do you, why does she need to be a marriage? Why is it somebody that, like, what could she give you that the escort can't? I get a half an hour, hour of their time and I got to go. Right.

You want another woman who you could get more than just sex from. Right, right. And, but, you know, so I go to these dating websites. And, you know, I'm a decent looking guy, and I get my fair share of, you know, responses, but they all want to spend time. You know, hey, let's go out to this and then I meet them once and thinking, hey, all right, well, let's head to the place and let's head to the hotel or the back of the whatever. And it's like, oh, no, no, no, you know, can you come over later tonight or maybe we can hook up over the weekend. Yeah, no, no, you need what other people have called into my podcast that need. Like, if you're married and you're just looking for something, like you say, well, you know what you need to someone else.

who's married because a single woman isn't going to, she might wind up in that situation by accident, but it's going to be a fucking nightmare for you because a single woman's going to want you to hang out with them and do normal things. You don't have that kind of time because you're with your wife. Right? So, but you're looking for like a situation where you could have a full on affair.

Let me ask you this. Are you, I don't know, I'm so confused at where you're at and what you really kind of, want to do. Like, do you want to stay with your wife and just keep a light and just have this life where you just like, you know, have an affair with some other married woman, like in the best case scenario is, like, is that what you would want to do? Like, why do you stay with your wife to begin with at this point?

You know, that's a good question. You know, I don't know. And let me ask you this. Maybe part of me is. Yeah, maybe part of you. maybe part of me is just, you know, where I'm here, you know, my family's here. I mean, I had this vision of a family. I mean, I was a family guy.

Mm-hmm. I mean, we grew up, you know, me and the kids playing, you know, football and basketball, and as they get older, we're talking about life's issues and we're, you know, where, we're taking them down the aisle as they get married. I had this whole, you know, I don't want to sound like a female. I don't know if that's a sexist thing to say. I had to have a marriage. You do sound a little bit more like a girl.

Yeah. But I think a lot of people, I think that's probably a lot of people who have been married for a really long time and something like this happened. And I think it's common. I think it does happen to a lot of people, right? Where the marriage just like something happens.

You know, like I just think a lot of people can relate and I think a lot of people would totally understand and feel the same way that you do and did, you know, whereas they just, you know, signed up for something that they really wanted and they really wanted it to last and they really, you know, it changed their whole vision and that's hard to give up on, right? It's like hard to let go of that. And I think that people talk about it. It's just such a sense of failure because it wasn't what they planned and it wasn't, you know, and I think that that's really hard to face. And maybe that's like what you're holding on to when you

hold on to your marriage, right? Because you don't want to let go of that. Right, but, but, and I agree with everything you said, but the flip side of that is she's the one that took you from me. And I have such resentment for her, towards her, for that. Yeah, but you need, I mean, right, I get it. Listen, there's like any kind of time you go through something, I think like those four things or whatever those emotions you have to go through for grief.

Like, you know, if someone dies, they say like anger, denial, like all those emotions. Like that's what you have to go. That's what you have to go through, right? Like you're still stuck. You're still angry at her. And we're, it's two years later, you know. And so obviously like, you know, you probably when you ended that six month therapy with that guy who wasn't really helping to begin with, you probably should have gotten to your

own therapy to work through this issue. And I'm surprised that she, I don't know how she thinks, but she's not like me and you, like, because I think you think more like me and you think things through and you analyze it. like, I mean, she, maybe she's not that way, but like, I don't know how she trusts you. Like, I don't know. I would be a little bit leery. Like, okay, he knows that I, like, fucked all these people and all this stuff.

And he's staying with me and he's totally fine and he's not looking through my shit anymore. And he doesn't really care. Like, something must be up. like I'd be like something's up. Like what makes me think he's not going to go cheat on me now and get me back, you know, because I think that's the way, you know, that's just like human nature, you know. And she totally trust you.

She has no, she doesn't question you whatsoever or like it's never a thought in her mind, right, that you're out there now maybe getting revenge on her? No. No. Right. And part of that's because, so for instance, the reason, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, My schedule for seeing the escorts is based on the fact that we're okay enough for me to pay for them, you know, financially. I can't take out $150, $200 or $100, you know, in cash every, you know, so off, hey, where's this going?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And so you, I save my money to the side. You know, some guys, you know, do, you know, paintballing, some play video games, or I did an escort. Right, but she doesn't know. but you're, and you're like cheating on her. And like, I think it has that hasn't because you were so, like, there might be a day and it might be that she has to find out, right? Like, and if she found out, like, you at some point, like, because you, you're not resolved

with the feelings of like what happened between you and her yet. And I hate to say it, but there's a lot of. of feelings somewhere inside of you now also that are piling up that are now having to do with what you're doing behind her back. And I think you probably feel bad about doing it because it's really not who you are. You're doing it sort of as revenge and maybe a little bit now for fun. But I do think that those kind of feelings are something you're going to have to eventually deal with and tend to as well one day when all of

when the shit hits the fan and I don't know maybe the shit will hit the fan maybe it won't if you were my friend and I really cared about it on some level I would hope maybe that it would because I think right now

where you're living from compared to where you were before and what you were looking for is like just a big lie scam like there's there it's a lot of nothing do you know what I mean like you really are a relationship person that really likes to have a real relationship and really connect and you were looking for someone you could really trust and you wanted that family and you right now don't have

any of that and you're moving farther away from that as we speak as the two years that have gone on instead listen there are some people that have had cheating happen after 20 years in a relationship and they have worked through things and become stronger. There are some people that had cheating happen after 20 years and they decided to break up and probably both went on to have better lives with other people, you know. But I just think one of those two paths are a lot better, even though those might be harder than what you're doing, which was, you know, is that you just went for, listen, and I get it. like you just probably were so sick of feeling bad and you're just feeling so terrible that you had to go do something to take away the pain.

And this fucking escorts was like numbing that. But it isn't like I said, I mean, you're not the cheater type and at some point it might sort of weigh on you what you're doing. It might not listen. Other guys, they don't fucking care. They're doing it because they need a little variety, whatever. You know that I'm not judging you for that. But I think that you will judge you for that on some level. because you're doing it for to get her back because you still have anger.

There's just so much there. And it's like you're stuck. Do you know what I mean? It's like you're stuck. It's two years later, but like you're stuck. And eventually you're going to have to get unstuck. And getting unstuck might be even more painful than before because you're eventually like you sweep shit under the table.

It does not go away. It does not get lessened. it is exactly left the way it is, right? So all those feelings that you ran away from to begin with are still there, right? So at some point, if you ever want to live in the truth again and be a full person and maybe fall in love either back in love with your wife or really in love with somebody else, this shit is going to come out and you're going to have to deal with it. But the good news is if you start dealing with it, like it does eventually go away if you're

facing it. They say the only way out of something is like through it, right? You didn't continue to stay through it because it was too painful. And anybody could understand that, you know. And it's human nature to not want to just be in pain, right? And that's what most people do. Right. It's why people are drug addicts.

Why people are alcoholics is why a lot of bad shit happens because people don't want to feel pain. So they go and do like the instant gratification thing, which is they check out on some level. But it doesn't fucking get. can get you anywhere. And I think as an honest person like you are who for most of your life was an honest person, right? That's what you were looking for from your wife. That's what was taken away from you when you found those texts. And now you've become a very dishonest person yourself. I mean, it's only just adding to all the shit you're going to have to deal with down the line. And you are eventually. And I hope, like I said, if you were my friend, I would hope that

all of that would come out because I don't think you're being true to who you are. And I think it's detrimental to you. And I think that you would, you really need therapy. And I love that you did that in your relationship. I love how introspective and you seem very self-aware. You always have been up into this point, you know, as far as like, because you would always say to your wife, like, let's go to therapy. You know, like you're very self-aware, right? Like you're always looking to make sure things are okay.

Like you have to go back to that. And I think you do yourself a good service. If you would just like go to therapy and start talking and be as honest with your therapist as you are with me about what you're doing. And they could probably help you. And so when all the painful shit comes up and you start to face it, like you would have somebody there to help you through it. Because once you started dealing with it and facing it, it could potentially go away. And maybe when all the stuff really comes up again about your wife and you really face it, like maybe you would realize you want to leave her.

And you could never trust her again. Right. Or maybe you would, you know, but you might be on the path of like getting really busted by her. And as much as she would feel pain and at first maybe you'd be happy about that, eventually you, I don't think you, I think that you would feel really bad. And it's just, it's just a fucking mess if you have. Don't you think? You say a lot of good stuff.

And one, I thank you for it. You're the only person that knows all of this. Right, right. Who else are you going to tell? Probably people that really know you would be fucking horrified. Yeah, and I feel embarrassed, honestly. Yeah. One that, you know, what happened with her and two about what I'm doing.

Yeah, because at this point, if you're talking to anybody, and if anyone feels bad for you for what she did to you, at this point, you're the biggest hypocrite. Right. Right? I don't know. Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Maybe you're fine with what you're doing and it's okay, but I just don't think,

I get why you used it as a solution. I just don't think that it is the solution to the problem that you faced two years ago. and I just think you still have a fucking problem. And now it's bigger, if you ask me. It's a lot bigger because of what you're doing. Right now, I just don't have any in my mind. You know, I can't talk to the escorts and I can't talk to my wife.

Right. But that's why you need a therapist. Now you don't need to marry. I know that's why you're looking for that married woman. And like maybe listen, I think a lot of guys don't leave women. I think because they just, they don't leave women until they have another girl sort of set up on the side. Like, I mean, maybe if you had somebody else, you would leave her and maybe on some level

that's what you're looking for. And that happens a lot with guys. I think they just don't like to be alone. And it happens with women too sometimes. You know, they're unhappy in a relationship. But people wait until they have something set up and then they're like, okay, I'm ready to leave you and they go right from one thing to another because you're a relationship person.

You probably don't know the first thing like about being single, right? like our being alone. And to do that after 20 years of being with somebody, you probably wouldn't even know how to do it. And that's probably the scariest. It is hard out there. Yeah. Right.

Right. Look. It's hard. Right. And it's not fun. It's not dating in your 40s is very different than dating in their 20s when you have all the baggage that you have and stuff like that. And you're dating now when you're married.

But I'm telling you, even if you weren't married, it's not easy, you know. So. But, you know, maybe you're waiting to have somebody else. but like if you do need somebody to talk to and that person is a therapist, your own therapist, somebody that could just talk to you with you, not with you and your wife, you know, that will come later if you decide that you even want to stay with her. You have to figure out what you want to do, I think, you know? I really do.

And you have to resolve your feelings with her and about her and then about yourself. Listen, maybe you will decide that, you know, you did what you did and it wasn't. that bad and you could forgive yourself and you move on and you leave your wife. I mean, there's so many different things that could happen and come out of it, but you need to start talking to somebody about what you're doing. And I'm not saying, listen, you're going to not stop sleeping with those other women or do what you're doing. Do that shit too. But, you know, maybe when you start talking to somebody, you could get things set in motion where you start to sort of go back to where you were, I would say six months after those two years, like a year and a half

ago and continue to deal with the like your wife cheating on you and just you know sort of put your mind to taking care of that business and that baggage that you have so you can move on and figure out what you really want and you could go out and find it you know because you're a relationship guy you're not getting that you're not being completely fulfilled by escorts you think that if you find another married woman I mean that's hard to find yeah I No, tell me about it. Right. So maybe if, like, you get into therapy,

you might find the strength to leave your wife and go find somebody for real and have a whole other, like, you could have 30 more years with somebody else and have a great relationship, or you could have that with your wife. Right. Or your wife's going to find out. I don't know. It's just like there's so many different scenarios that could happen. But I think the best one is for you to just start talking to somebody.

That will give you professional advice. my advice is, you know, unprofessional. But I think, yeah. So, you know, just to go back to the counselor, again, he's speaking from a religious thing. And it's like, you really don't understand. You know, he's, you know, he's, you know, the kind of counselor you need. You need a hard core. You need a real counselor, okay?

Maybe a marriage counselor, somebody that deals with relationships. So, you know, listen, you're not the first person that got cheated on in a relationship in a marriage after it's it has it happens and it happens a lot of people you know it's the reason why I think nowadays people aren't getting married as young anymore because it's like to stay you know listen your wife was 20 I mean did she ever give you a reason for why she did it like when you guys were talking in therapy did that ever come like did you ever did she ever like sort of think about it herself and be truthful with you and herself as to why this happened she's told me that she didn't know why

right she told the therapist that the counselor yeah that she didn't know why and she said that you know early on I said well you know I hope that you know after we we see the counselor for a little while you'd be able to least think about it and let me know and she said well I can't I can't promise you that I'll try and it is one of those it's sort of you know

when it first happened, obviously, we were talking about it every day, every waking moment. Then as times wore on, we talk about it, you know, in counseling, mostly in counseling, but rarely outside of counseling. And then after six to eight months, it'd be, are you okay? Well, I think I'm okay. All right. Well, you don't have any questions. Let's go to the movies.

Let's have dinner. Let's talk. And eventually you start sleeping with other people, so now you're, like, you don't need to be talking about it because. you're sort of dealing with it. You figured out a way to kind of deal with it. It's like put a lid on things for you. Right, right.

Right? Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Right, and here you are. I don't know, listen, you know, with her, it might be, because a lot of times I say like women cheat because they're not getting something in a relationship. With her, because she married you at 20 and now she's 40. Like, girls get really horny at 40.

she might have just it might have been with her like just to be with somebody else sexually because she hadn't in so long and she was so young like I don't know like I would have to talk to her you know she doesn't know sometimes shit happens that social media is a scary fucking thing that's happening nowadays because like you know I said this on a recent podcast it's like because that kind of stuff happens you meet somebody on lot you know somebody on Facebook's like hey you know from high school and before you know it you know stuff goes down it's just like and people who necessarily like who aren't necessarily cheaters wind up cheating you know things could just happen and no one's above it and that's why I find people that are so judgmental to other people are ridiculous because you just never know and look at you you were like oh she's so terrible for cheating and now you're like a full-fledged eight-time cheater you're on websites I mean like you know yeah we're all fucking flawed But I think you just need some therapy. You really do.

Two years later, you guys should have been past it. And either, like I said, separated and maybe happy and onto other things or together and, you know, reestablishing, like, the trust that you have with each other and falling in love with each other again like you did in the, you know, but you're just like, you're just stuck. And she has no idea what's going on. she's oblivious. Yeah. And who knows? I don't know.

But I'm curious, like, what happens a year from now if you start seeking therapy. If you don't, you might get busted. And that's going to fucking rock your world. And she might leave you and you're going to be. And then I could see you being, like, calling back into my show. Like, can you believe she left me? I didn't leave her when she cheated. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, fuck her. What a bitch. It's just, like, at a certain point. You got to stop blaming her. You could have laughed and you didn't. You know what I mean? She might very well be like, fuck you and leave your ass.

How funny would that be? I thought everything was okay. And now you're cheating on me. Oh my goodness. Yeah, you made me feel so bad and you're just been lying. I mean, think about it. Do you know what I mean?

Think about it. Yeah, I do. Yeah. And she could, you know, but listen, is somebody, has to happen here because it's just bullshit. Your whole relationship right now is bullshit and it wasn't that way. And some people, their whole relationship is bullshit and some guys cheat.

And I don't know. In this situation, you guys had a real relationship and you had for 20 years and I think you need to resolve your stuff. So I hope you either get caught or you wind up in therapy and you start dealing with your stuff and you get to a better place a year from now. It won't happen magically. It's not the fucking movies. It would take time.

You know, it takes time. But I think that it would be better for you than the shit that you're trying to co-cocked up now. Yeah, I am stuck. I realize I'm stuck. I'm just trying, I don't know how to find my way out. And maybe a therapist is the way to find my way out. It is because they're just going to help you. Your way out is through all the stuff that you didn't want to go through before.

It's unfortunately through all those bad feelings. You have to deal with the anger you feel for your wife. You have to deal with the pain that you feel for what happened with her the shit that happened with your stepdad. That might come up if you have a good fucking therapist, you know, you have to just deal with all that stuff. But and I think everybody has shit like that to deal with and most people don't. Okay, but you know, you're somebody that believes in that kind of stuff that I think you should do it. Some people I wouldn't even waste my time telling them because they're just not Yeah. you know, they're just not ready for that or they don't want a life like, you know, that's 100% real and some, you know, but I think that you do and that's what you had before

and that's ultimately what would make you the happiest and I think that the only way to have that again is for you to be, you know, to get back to being real and you know, and that would be dealing with your shit. So get yourself in fucking therapy. But find a good therapist.

It's hard to find the right one. You see a, as many as, it's like dating. I tell my friends, it's like dating. You go on a, you meet a therapist once. You'll know right away if that's the one, you know. And once you find the one, stick with it. Go at least once a week and start, you know,

you'll know it's working when like you start feeling really bad again. You know, and you feel guilty about what you're doing because I think that that's the real you. I don't think you're cut out for, cheating and a married while. I just, it's not a good look for you, and I don't even know you, but that's just what I think.

Well, I'm going to try something. And maybe I'll try that before I try the two escler's at one time. You could go, listen, go, you could go while you're, listen, you've already fucked eight. What's the difference between another two? I mean, at this point,

seriously, but just start both because sometimes it's like unrealistic to say, oh, I'm going to do, you know, it's a lot of stuff. You know, just start, keep doing what you're doing and whatever, but just keep, start looking for the therapist too. If anyone will help you really stop with the escorts, it will be when you really want to when you're ready because you don't feel right about it. I don't think that's right now. I don't think that we figure that out in this conversation.

That'll happen at the right time. You'll know when it's time to stop. So go have a two-sum. I don't want to hear about that. What I want to hear about is when your wife found out, when your wife finds out, or, you know, a year after therapy where you're at and what you decided to do in your relationship. Because I think that you never decided what you wanted to do for real.

I think you still don't know. And I think you have to figure that out for yourself. Right, right, right. Right. I agree with that. Yeah. You're really good. Thanks.

I like. I like. I like talking to. I mean, this is why I started my podcast because I was always like the annoying friend that just likes to shove, like, to talk like this with people, when people, my friends are having problems and to get deep with them. And, like, you know, a lot of my friends, sometimes people don't want that. People call into my show because they want to.

So this way it's much better because some of the times, you know, you're not ready to hear this kind of shit. But I enjoy it because, you know, so. And I've lived a lot of the stuff so I understand. So there you go. So I'm glad you called in and, you know, keep me posted of what goes down. I will. Thank you, Kathy.

It was a pleasure talking to you. Yeah, thanks for sharing your story and good luck with everything. Let me know how it goes. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I will. I will. All right.

Bye, Gabe. Thanks for calling in. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in

paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio. book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these

are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of

channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

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