Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 189 - Bisexual James has an Open Relationship and a Secret Life

Episode Date: July 31, 2017

James calls in to talk all his bisexuality, his open cuckold relationship with his wife, which includes other guys, and his secret life that his wife knows nothing about. When did he have his first bisexual experience? What exactly went down? How did him and his wife wind up in a threesome with another guy? And, how did his wife wind up with a "boyfriend"? What is his secret life that his wife knows nothing about? Tune in to find out, plus hear a whole lot more including details of the random, flirting/hook-ups he's had at work with multiple co workers. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Sanapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com. This is a call-in-in-vice show where I talked to Total Strangers about their secret lives, their interesting lives. I love giving advice. So if you have a problem, and it could even be a very plain, old, regular problem. I think a lot of people think that I just want to talk to people about SCX. But the truth is, I, like, if you just like having relationship problems, you know,

I like to talk about that. And I think it's like a great topic for people as well because I think it's like really fucking common, right? We all have had those or, you know, or having one of those kind of problem. So, you know, if you want to be on and you have a problem or a secret life or you do something really interesting sexually or otherwise, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. The guy who is on my show today is a listener of my show, a new listener, and he wrote in a very long-witted email, and he has a lot of stuff going on that he wanted

to talk about. His name is James. James is by, James and his wife have an open relationship where she has a boyfriend, but that boyfriend is married and his wife doesn't know, and he has a secret life that his wife doesn't know about, even though they're pretty open in their relationship. So there's just like a lot of like stuff going on. And we go down and talk about all those avenues. We talk about him being by how he, you know, how his first experiences went down and all that kind of stuff. We talk about how him and his wife, uh, developed a relationship where she could have a boyfriend, quote unquote. And he's okay with that. I think they, they actually did not. I think I know. And he talks about the fact that they, um, started sleeping with men, uh, in the, uh, in the, their relationship, you know, at a certain point. We talk about that. And we talk about his hidden secret life that his wife doesn't know about. So we talk about all those things and a whole lot more.

So I'm going to get right back, right, right to the podcast and be right back on with James. How are you today? Hi, Kathy. How are you? I'm good. I know you're sitting at, you just told me this. I'm just going to tell my listeners because it's kind of funny. Like, you're sitting in your car and it's like with your air conditioning on parked in a parking lot, like telling me your deepest secrets, right?

hiding out in the Lowe's parking lot, right? That's how you're doing. That's right. You know, when I'm done here, I can go in and buy some two-by-fours or something. Exactly. But before you do that, you've got a lot to say. Because, like, let me, like, you found my podcast about a month ago, and then you wrote in.

And, you know, you wrote a very long-winded email with a lot of information. And typically, I like to get on the phone without knowing, like, that much. But, like, you, a lot of people wind up telling me a lot. It's just the way that it goes. and this might be a part one and a part two, because there's a lot of stuff that has gone down in your life, or that is going down. There's a lot of, like, different aspects.

And that's why, like, I could, like, literally talk to a different person every week for the rest of my life and never get, like, the same exact story. Because people, right? People are unique. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like there's so many different approaches to my back story. But I figure the easiest way to do it is just ask whatever questions you want. And I'm happy to answer or expand. Oh, yeah, no, I'm going to start from the beginning.

And, you know, there's so many different little sort of things that are going on. Like, right? Like, you have an open marriage with your wife, which we're going to talk about. Your wife has a boyfriend who has a wife who doesn't know about it. And there's, like, secrets going on there. You also have a secret life that your wife doesn't know about. Like, there's a lot of different things going on, which is so fascinating to me because I think after reading all of your stuff, like the first question that popped on in my mind, and this is like going backwards, right?

Because is that like, how come if you have such an open relationship with your wife and she knows everything that you also choose to keep some stuff secret, which isn't even that bad, really, right? I don't want you to answer that yet, though. Okay. Okay, because you'll just, yeah, what are you going to say? Yeah, that's true. Everything's accurate. No, but it's so interesting because there is a part of you, right, that does like, this is what you said.

Like there's a part of you that likes the fact that you have secrets. It was like you put it like and you like to draw people in and let other people into that life of yours and let them know about your secrets. And like it's like it's just the secret and aspect of it is what's a turn on, right? That is absolutely correct. And even though you have a wife who's super open minded and that's where we're going to start. We're going to start with your marriage and your life and like how you have it set up because you have an open marriage with your wife. if you guys have been married for a long time, right? And you guys have, your wife has a boyfriend who has a wife who doesn't know that her husband is a part of a threesome kind of relationship, male, female, male relationship, right?

Yeah. And this part of the story is fairly recent, I would say, within the last two years. Oh, really? But we've actually known this guy in the first time that we had kind of a three, with him was probably probably over 20 years ago, but we've known him for a long time. And it's been in the last 18 months to two years that the relationship started back up. And now is the first time that my wife would declare him as a boyfriend versus, oh, we just had this kind of sexual encounter. Right. She recognizes now that that's what it is. And she,

She's been able to talk to some close friends that have kind of guided her into understanding some of the terminology and that sort of thing. You mean polyamory and all that kind of stuff? Right. She had never even heard of that word before. I had no idea what it was. And as a matter of fact, I came home from work one day and she said, hey, guess what? We're polyamorous. You're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, I just kind of laughed. So, but the, I mean, the secret part of it is our relationship, though it's been long, over 30 years, has not always been the strongest of marriages. And as a result of that, I kind of created this secret persona, James, if you will. And I spent a lot of time on the internet learning about these things. It's not that I wasn't interested in, you know, these threesomes, or, you know, these threesomes, or that kind of relationship. It's just that she and I weren't in the best of places. Well, now that we're older, our kids are adults.

They're out of the house and gone. And now that we're older, we've gotten back into this thing. And one of the guys that we had been with years ago is back in the picture. And like I say, they consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend. And I guess I'm just kind of the, I'm kind of the guy. who enjoys watching it all happen. Right. But in spite of the fact that, in spite of the fact that we are clearly on the same page

with regards to this open relationship, the rest of my secret world, if you will, that's gone back since at least 2007 or longer, I just don't think she could understand or appreciate, you know, a lot of the things that I've written or said. because for a lot of part of that time, I'm, you know, I'm a sex blogger. I've been doing this since 2007 at least, and I've written a lot of really harsh things about the relationship. Now, I've gone back and deleted most of those posts there, but everything stays on the internet forever anyway. Right. But I use that as rather than spend money on therapy, I use the blog as a way of kind of, kind of,

talking through it myself. And along the way, I've met a lot of really fun and interesting people. People, some of the people are people I know in person. Some of the people I've never met and never will. But I consider them my friends. And all of that, I'm saying all this to let you know that, in spite of our, I think, exciting and enjoyable relationship now, I just don't think that she would really appreciate. appreciate the past 10 years worth of secrecy. So if I were to open up and say, oh, hey, honey, let me tell you about this. I've been talking to this person and this person,

and we've been doing this and that. I just don't think she'd appreciate it. And so it's better left unsaid. Totally. Well, because it would be like, it's like, who the fuck are you? Like, it's like a, it's not about what you're doing. Because like you told me and you admitted to me, like you're not fucking these other people.

Like you're not actually cheating on her, right? behind her back, like physically? I think that there's, so as far as the people that I email, obviously, no, there's no, nothing physical there. There might be some exchanging of pictures, but honestly, these relationships have less to do with, I mean, I can go on Tumblr and see naked pictures. These relationships have more to do with the people asking me, advice, me, and asking them advice, just a lot of these relationships that started out talking about sex have evolved

to just friendship. These are people that I'd enjoy having a drink with or whatever. Right. And I have to tell you as a woman and I think even a man, if the situation was reversed, that could be just as hurtful, if not more hurtful, right, on some level. Because, you know, here it is your partner, right, is like sharing parts of himself that he, you know, with other people that he's close. So there's like an emotional sort of cheating that's going on in a sense, right?

Because you've developed relationships with these people. Yeah, I completely agree with you. And because I know my wife and have been married to her for over 30 years, she is a jealous woman. And we haven't gotten into it, but the truth is I'm also sexually by. And she's not a big fan of that. She's accepted it. And her thought process is she has absolutely no interest whatsoever in seeing me suck another guy's dick. Right.

And so her policy from the moment that she realized that that was a possibility was, hey, let's do the don't ask, don't tell. She said that, you know, I may be interested in knowing all the details of her sexual activities with other guys, but she has no interest whatsoever. she said if you know if i am ever with another woman or another couple she doesn't want to know know about it just you know hey don't come home and bring me you know diseases and stuff and and likewise she knows that rarely there's sometimes that you know i've gone and been with uh other guys she doesn't want to know the details so um you know so hey i'm doing her favor by not disclosing that Well, she did tell you because, listen, I think a lot of people, because we all heard, you know, right in the beginning of this episode, that, like, she has a boyfriend. And this is not just a sexual thing anymore.

She actually has someone who she's emotionally attached to as well outside of you. So I think, you know, I could sit here and say, oh, as a woman, like, I would be upset. And we could say, as a woman, she would be upset, right, just to know that you were emotionally sort of involved with other people. There's people in their car listening right now saying, yeah, but what about her? Like, she's got a boyfriend. Like, how could you be, right? Believe me, I have guys, you know, guys that I, that I divulge this information to and talk about, they, you know, they just ask the same question. They say, okay, I get it.

I can understand that you could be turned on by watching your wife with another guy, but why is it fair that she gets to, you know, have sex with somebody else and you don't? And I just say, look, that's our relationship. Right. I'm not, you know, I'm not saying that I'm completely innocent. I'm not saying that I've never, you know, kissed another woman or I've never gone down on another woman or, you know, or had another woman give me a BJ. I'm just saying that our relationship is based on the fact that I get off on seeing her with other guys. She does not get off on seeing me with other women. And believe me, we've had opportunities.

She was the one who shut it down. And do you think it's because you're by and she's not, right? She's very straight, right? Like the whole fact that you guys have, like, been kind of like hook, like you guys have hooked up with. other people, not just this guy, right? I'm assuming. Right. Right. But has it always been other guys? It's always been other guys. We've had opportunities where other couples that were friends of ours either they knew about the fact that we had done these threesomes or maybe

they didn't know. But we've had at least a couple of other couples try to, you know, say, hey, why don't we swap or why don't we do a foursome or whatever? And her jealousy prevented, you know, prevented that from happening. It was just a matter of she would just say, hey, this is really cool and everything, but I just absolutely cannot handle watching my husband with another woman. Let me ask you this. Well, let's go back to your relationship with your wife from the beginning, though, because like you said, 18 years ago, you and her fooled around with this guy, right?

And then she picked that up now. Like, when did you guys, like, start? Or when did you figure out that she was interested in fucking other people and you wanted to watch? Like which came first? Like who said what? This was definitely all me. So we married very young. We were, I think she was 19 and I was 21 when we got married.

How old are you guys now? I'm 53 and I think she's 51. Okay, cool. Go on. So somewhere along the way, first of all, I mean, I could start. back to when I was five, I guess. But I, you know, I'm sure we'll go back to that at some point, too. I didn't know about, you know, I didn't know about life swapping or anything back then.

But at some point in time, we had already been married for a couple of years. We already had a kid. And we got, we had some neighbors and somebody, you know, one way or another, somebody lent a porno tape. And the porno tape involved, you know, this is all before the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And pornotape involved some neighbors all involved in different shenanigans or whatever. And this idea of swapping with this couple that lived next door to us that we were very close with, I mean, that whole idea really turned me on.

And it became this sex talk in bed. But her response to that being very young and very innocent was she took that as I was no longer interested in her. and you know obviously the only reason I would want her to fuck some other guy was because I wanted to fuck his wife and and you know who knows maybe maybe that was my thought process at the time but did she know but did you know and did she know because I know you said that you didn't like sort of be not become by like you didn't like have your first buy experience so you were older like at that point when this was that porn got you know distributed to you guys like did she know you were by were you actively buy at At that point in time, not only was I not actively, but she had no idea. I wouldn't disclose. I mean, I knew deep down something was going on like that. I clearly had an interest. You know, I spent 20 years in the military, and, you know, I lived in the dorms and got in the

showers with guys every morning, you know, before work. So believe me, I knew what was going on in that realm. I just never had the balls to act on it. What do you mean what was going on in that realm? They were all fucking each other. No, no, no, no. You knew you were turned on by them because you saw other men naked and you got horny. Okay, cool.

Oh, hell yeah. Right. Yeah. But anyway, when this all started, both of us were really naive, but I had proposed this idea of, wow, wouldn't it be cool if we were to do something sexy with the next door neighbors? And that was just a no-go. She was not interested in all. Fast forward a couple of years, what we had done is I had figured out that there was no way that wife's wife's wife's wife's. was ever going to happen or that we were ever going to have anything that involved,

you know, like every guy's fantasy is to watch his wife with another woman. Well, I knew that was not going to happen, period. Well, as we would have sex, you know, people always have fantasy talk and stuff like that. Our conversations first started on, you know, the UPS guy, the FedEx guy, whatever, as wouldn't it be hot if I came home from work and found out that the, the delivery guy had dropped off something and, oh, by the way, you flashed him or something like that. It was all very, by today's standards, it was all very tame. And she actually enjoyed those conversations, but, you know, by the time we were done acting these things out in bed, she would, you know, everything would be done and she'd say, you know, that's never going to happen, right?

Right. And it would always end with her saying, this is never going to happen. Well, we had another friend, a guy who had been going through problems with his wife, and he would often just come to our house and she would act as a, it's just a sounding board to listen to his complaints. And so suddenly our sex talk shifted from the UPS driver to now specifically this one guy. Now fast forward another couple of years, I think. I mean, from the time that I first started bringing up this whole concept to this first time that we actually did, it was probably four years or so. Wow.

And the, you know, the conversations continued. The guy would come and visit. And, you know, so he's there one night late. And he and I were always talking, wouldn't it be cool if we did this? And, you know, hey, it's not going to be any gay stuff, right? it's just going to be us tag team and her and that kind of thing. Well, one night, he was over at our house late. We were watching basketball or something.

And my wife comes out in her robe, just a regular old bathrobe. And she says, okay, I'm getting ready to go to bed. And right when she said that, she just opened up the robe to reveal that she was totally nude. And she says, you guys can either come with me or you can stay here watching basketball. No way. We lifted each other like, oh, my God, is this actually going to happen? So she retreated back to the bedroom, and he and I had a situation like, oh, my God, what are we going to do? Who's going to do what?

How's this going to happen? I mean, we were both, we had been talking about this for so long, and then now all of a sudden she was making it happen. Yeah. And so we, you know, we, everybody's quiet. You know, I have young kids at this time asleep in the other rooms. So we tiptoe to the bedroom. We go in there and shut the. door and lock it. And, and basically, uh, we proceed to have the first, you know,

male female, male, female, male, whatever, threesome. Um, and, uh, and so following that evening, so the guy goes home and, you know, he takes a shower and everything because he's, he's still not quite divorced from his wife yet. Yeah. Um, he goes home and then, you know, we go to bed. Actually, we have sex again and then go to bed. The next morning, we wake up and she is just absolutely in tears. She's completely horrified, convinced that I wanted divorce, and how could she have allowed this to happen, and how could I have let her do this and everything? And I just, I just looked at her and I said, we've been talking about this for years. And, you know, and now it's happened. I said, I'm the last one to be upset about it.

I said, I couldn't be happier. She wasn't believed, yeah. That, it was a huge relief for, but then she said, okay, just so, you. you know, we did it. It's off your, you know, list of things to do. We're never doing this again. Well, the next week, the guy came over and she was the first one to say, okay, look, we've already been here before. Let's cut to the chase and go to the room. And so we had done it. You know, we had several threesomes with that guy, probably, I don't know, five or six. Anyway, the downside of it was is that he moved. You know, we're all in the military. Well, let me ask.

you this at this point where you, because you said in your thing that a lot of times with these threesome with your wife, you didn't do anything with the guy. Once in a while you would like clean up quote unquote, right? Which means like he'd like fuck her come inside of her and then you'd go down on her and like, right? Like that's. So at that time at this stage in our life, there was never, we never allowed any of the guys to actually come inside of her because after our second kid, I was fixed and she was still. Oh, fertile. Right. So you didn't want her. her to get pregnant with some other guy. Yeah. But were, and were you out, like, being bisexual at this point? Because you said years went by before the situation. Yeah. No, at that point, I was, at that point, she had no idea that I was by, and I still was not fully, you know, accepting of it. I certainly, I will say that during one of these events, she was given a blowjob, and I basically got right up there next to his dick.

And it was like, if I had gotten any positive signal from her at all, I would have, I would have gone down on the guy. And basically, she gave me this look like, if you go near that dick, I'm going to smack you. But eventually. Yeah. Yeah, really, it was, she was kind of horrified by the whole thing. But anyway, that guy left and it wasn't long before this friend, who's currently her boyfriend. Yeah. He came in, he came into the picture.

And, you know, I kept, he was. another colleague of mine, a guy worked with. And I kept telling her about the guy, you know, oh, hey, yeah, there's this guy, you know, real cool guy. You ought to meet him and everything. And the very first night that he came over at our house to play basketball, she was all dolled up like she was going on to a date or something. And we got to, you know, we had a few beers. We got to talking and drinking. And out of nowhere, I just started suggesting that we play this game. And I think a lot of couples do it this way to try to break the eyes. But I suggested this game of where we blindfold her and she has to pick out who kissed her.

And then we blindfold her and she has to figure out who played with her tits. And then she's so blindfolded and she has to figure out who sucked her tits and that kind of thing. And by the time it got down to you, you got to figure out who's going down on you. By that time she was like, all right, let's go to. a bed. And so we did it with this guy for quite a bit. And his, the funny thing was is that his, his wife would come over with him sometimes for cookouts and we would just act like nothing. Because she never knew, even back then, right? The wife has always been in the dark about this, right? She's been completely clueless, although about not long ago, there was some suspicions.

and everybody had to kind of, you know, relax and, you know, take it easy. Pull back a little bit, right, because she was adding a little sniff of what was going on. But was your wife friends with her, or was it more like you and the guy were friends? Yeah, our families are, you know, we're friendly. Like, you know, we don't hang out per se, but we go to cookouts at their house. They go to cookouts at ours, that kind of thing. But not any regular, you know, I, I would say three times a year, that kind of thing.

Wow, it's like how many cookouts do people go to and they don't realize that, like, you know, within this group of people, there's this kind of shit going down, right? Because it's not like, there's no way that you guys are the only ones. You know what I mean? Oh, no. And the funny thing is, is I happen to know that he and his wife have done this with other couples. And. Oh, where she knows?

Where she, no, they've, they've had sex with, like, they've had threesomes with other people. Right. And the fact of the matter is, I think if my wife were, amenable to it if she weren't so jealous. You guys could open enough with the wife too, right. She might could, yeah, that might have been able to be a possibility. But now, of course, you know, women are catty. And now she's the other woman, so to speak.

Oh, my God. It's so confusing because that woman and him have an open relationship. He's kind of like you. It's like weird, right? Well, no, they don't have an open relationship at all. I'm just saying that in the past. They fuck other people. Well, in the past, they've done that.

Right. But they don't have an. his wife is you know as soon as she started getting suspicions believe me it was she was like if you're out fucking somebody else and i don't know about it well i think don't you think that that's the thing that makes it like fucked up and that's what's so crazy that like i said he's kind of like you like they're kind of like it's like a weird thing that um you know what my mind thinks of first is like so him and his wife have this i don't say open in that they're both out with other people but they're bringing other people into the bedroom and they're like swinging with other couples and they're like swinging with other couples. right they have done this yet he still finds the need like he can't be honest about the fact that he's like fucking you and your wife like you know like it's kind of like weird that even you would think that within that kind of relationship it would be like completely honest yet there's still deception going on and I think that that's the problem it's not that he's fucking someone it's when

she says that I don't know about because she let me let me fuck other people she's well let me tell Let me tell you a little inside baseball about people who do this. And that is one of the first things that happens with men when they say, I think it would be so hot to watch my wife, fuck another guy. Yeah. It's really the man controlling, wanting to control the situation. But the reality is, is that men do not control the situation. Women do.

My, uh, the, the issue is that these guys have all these, these fantasies. And I've heard other guys on the podcast talk about, you know, their own private. private in-person porno movie or something, you know, seeing their wife with another guy. It's their own private porno. Well, the guys who are into this kind of want to control the situation. But the reality is, is like in that first case where I had begged my wife for this and talked about it for years, but she was actually the one who said, okay, I've made a decision. I'm going to do this.

She shows up, opens up her robe. Right. Right. So she really is controlling when it happens. Right. Yeah. Exactly. And so I think the situation is that this guy who's her boyfriend, I think it's the same thing.

He wants to be able to control his home environment. He and his wife, honestly, they've been married a long time, but they don't get along. They could be on the verge of divorce at any minute. They just have a kid. There's a young child involved, and they're just trying to be good parents. Right, right. I get it. Okay.

Right. But they've been together for a really long time. And I think, you know, it just because you said this was like an 18. years ago you guys are like fucked him for a couple of times when you guys have this sex these threesome's like you know what goes down does your wife ever do double penetration is she strictly like blowing him and fucking you like I mean just like how far does she take it we've we've um we've played around with a lot of different uh it's believe me when we're all three together it's fun there's a lot of laughing and and there's a lot of trying of new things um for uh but but for the most

part. A lot of it will be a lot of simultaneous score play where he and I are both trying to, you know, just play with her tits, you know, go down on or whatever. And then, and then actually we'll, you know, one or the other is taking turns. It's, but the fun part of it has been, we've introduced a lot of sex toys into this, a lot of different things, you know, paddles for spanking. We've, we've had, we've, we've had, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've got some restraints that we've tried. I'm very much open to anal play in terms of, you know, shoving shit up my ass. But she's actually convinced, you know, our friend to try, you know, he's taking a small

butt plug and now he actually bought a, you know, a vibrator of his own, which he has to hide at our house so his wife won't find it. Oh, my God. But anyway, the threesome's, you know, there's never been, there's never been like double vaginal penetration or, you know, penis and she fucks him. She bugs you. Yeah. I'm just trying to get some hot stories for my listeners. I always feel like I don't go there enough.

Yeah. So, you know, the hottest thing about it is for me is a lot of times the way that I find out that it's going to happen because of all of our schedules, I'll get a text on my phone. and it'll be a nude picture of him going down on her. And basically that's her saying, hey, if you make it home from work in time, you might be able to catch us doing this. And which is, you know, some guys would be totally outraged that the wife and the guy are having sex

and he's not there. But I'm okay with it. We've been doing this for a long time. But probably for me, one of the hottest things is I walked into the house very quietly and they were going at it in the bedroom. and I basically stood there looking into the bedroom, watching, you know, watching it go down.

And for me, that was extremely exciting because I'm also, I'm very much a voyeur. Yeah, I was going to say that's a little bit of a lawyer. Right. So I get off more on watching this happen than I actually do, you know, of the actual taking part and fucking. I mean, I like doing that, of course. Right, of course.

That's what you do just to get yourself off, but really what's the turn on and everything is what's happening before the actual fucking, which is like you see. Yeah, I can tell you, you know, it's, I'm, I'm definitely a lawyer. And I mean, I've been listening to so many of your, your recent episodes that every one of those guys who, who calls in and talks about this stuff. I'm like, oh, yeah, I've done that or I appreciate that or that, you know, that certainly, I'm related to that, you know, particular thing. But we don't do anything so super crazy. But we certainly have fun and everybody laughs and it's it's enjoyable.

Yeah, but when did you tell like, you know, because you like to shove things up your ass and we'll just take that as an intro too. Like GI Joe's. Yeah. Oh, I love that guy. I couldn't get past that. And he was like, why are you still horpicking on that? I'm like, I'm sorry, but it's so good. It's fucking awesome.

You know, because I'm sure there's other people that have shoved GI Joe's up their ass. Right? I mean, they're happy to me. Well, I don't know any of them, but that guy was pretty funny. It was awesome. But wait, so when did you tell your wife? And when did you have your first buy experience? Did that happen before you told your wife?

Did it happen after? Like, what's the deal with the other side of things? I, the timeline is kind of hazy because it was so long ago. But I want to say, I may, I'm not sure that I, well, I definitely had not sucked a dick. I can tell you that. Right. But it was just something that came out during a conversation. And, of course, she was horrified.

And she tried to pretend that it didn't happen. But during that time frame. You mean that you didn't tell her? She tried to act like I was just making it up or it was a joke or maybe it was a fantasy or something like that. She did not want, you know, what wife wants to find out. You know, as far as she was concerned, I wasn't saying I was by. I was saying, I am a homosexual man and I'm going to leave you for another man. and we're going to get divorced and I'm going to be married to a guy.

And so it was a horrific experience for her. And of course, I felt bad. But, you know, I told her again several more times. And that's when she pretty much said she really didn't want to know anything about it if I did act on it. But she would occasionally ask me, okay, have you done anything or whatever? Well, we have another mutual friend, a guy that she actually grew up with. and he and I were at the house one night and she was not there and we were drinking and I take that back we this was during a cookout this first instant he and I were pretty much

shit-faced and we were playing darts and I suggested that hey look how about this we played darts and the loser of the darts has to suck the other guy's dick and he didn't even he didn't even bat an eyelash which I was saying it as a joke but he didn't even back it as a joke but he didn't even bad eyelash and said, oh yeah, sure, okay. Did you, do you, like, consciously know what you were doing in that moment? Or did you really just, like, that just came out of your mouth and you had no thought of? No, I'm, I'm sure that I was absolutely 100% hoping that he would be okay with it. Okay, right.

Because if anything, I didn't know I hadn't, I didn't have an inclination that he was by at all. Yeah. In fact, he still says that he's not. Because he's still put into this day. He reads my blog. but he, we did this. We played this game back and forth where we both kept purposely losing and saying,

oh, well, no, let's play again, two out of three, that kind of thing. Right. Anyway, our wives were both in the house with kids watching TV or something, and he and I retreated out to a garden shed. And, you know, and I just said, you know, okay, well, which one of us is going to do this? And he just, he said, are you sure you want to do this? And I said, I'm absolutely sure. And he pulled his, you know, winger out.

And I just stuck it in my mouth. And he was totally hard, I'm sure. Because like, obviously he was by too. Well, he immediately got, got hard. And then, you know, then he kind of pushed me back and said, wait, I want to do it. So I pulled my dick out and let him. And that was pretty much the extent of it. That was as far as we went.

We both kind of took turns. Both of us agreed that this was something that we had been wanting. to do for a long time and both of us were surprised that the other one was was into it and let me ask you this was it well like amazing for you like that first experience incredible right it was absolutely incredible i mean it was it was it was a life-changing experience because this is something that i had always wanted to do this is something that i had been wanting to do you know all the years in school and all the years of hanging out with my friends and and you know kids you know guys whipping out their dicks and showing each other all these years that I had thought, man, I'd really like to do that.

And now I had actually done it. And he pretty much felt the same way. Of course, you know, there's shame and guilt afterwards. You don't know how to handle it. Well, eventually one night, not long after that, he and I were together at the house without, you know, my wife was at work or something. And we said, hey, let's do this again. So we, you know, we tried. and we were never successful with each other at actually making each other, you know, come.

Wait, you didn't even come with the blowjaws the first time? No, because we were both so nervous and an experience that, you know. You would think that you're just come in two seconds, no? I think guys naturally are better at giving head. But anyway, I think that just the nerves and all that and the newness of it, that we just didn't know what we were doing. And not only that, we were, both of us were just. super nervous and scared.

Right. But, anyway, so you try it again. Yeah, we did that. And then he, you know,

like I say, most of our friends are all somehow or another connected to the military. This guy goes off to, you know,

some deployment somewhere. And over time, I had eventually found these Yahoo groups. And, um, You know, I don't know if they're even around anymore, but Yahoo used to be the big thing where you could go on there and people would create these adult groups for local areas and you could try to meet up with like-minded people.

It was kind of like Craigslist, but the group was supposed to be about a specific topic. And somehow or another, I met this guy that he like me was married. He was also by. and really all he wanted to do was get with another guy to kind of jack off together. And to me, that made sense. There was nothing, you know, it was kind of exciting. There was no real risk involved. And, you know, I could do it and, you know, and do it. Well, we met several times where we called it carjacking.

We would meet in a car at a parking lot and then we would go drive somewhere secluded and just jack off together. And eventually we did, we did blow each other. You know, he blew me a couple of times to where I came, and I blew him a couple of times to where, you know, where he came in my mouth. And the first time that that happened, it was like, first of all, I was really pissed off at any woman who doesn't swallow. It just pisses me off because the first time a guy came in my mouth, it went right down my throat and it was no big deal. And I just thought, I can't believe women won't do this. Yeah, I don't even know what they do when they don't. I mean, I've always swallowed all my life because I don't even know what you would.

do if you don't like what do girls do they hold it in their mouth and run in the other room or they move and then they i honestly think they do i think they you know have a towel or something like that and spit it out right so you love you were fine with the swallowing jizz like it was like what the oh yeah that's like kind of funny yeah so i i had no problem with that and then that's that's why if we fast forward back to this current arrangement um what what usually will happen if say um say i walk in while my wife is with her boyfriend and they're going at it or whatever, he'll pull out and come all over her stomach or tits or whatever. And they're okay.

They accept the fact that I'm cool with going down and licking it up. And I have no problem with that. To me, it's just, it adds to the excitement of that scenario. Right. So before, when you, so like when you were doing this stuff with the guys, like was that the first time you were cheating on your wife? Or had you been with other women behind her back on? No.

I've had several like inappropriate friendships where there there there wasn't sex per se like not intercourse with another woman. But like I worked with a lady, a military girl and I worked together. And we would work at night with nobody else there. And she was kind of a freak. Her husband never, you know, I guess didn't, they didn't last very long. But anyway, I would say to her like, hey, why don't you play? lash me and she'd like okay and she'd you know pull out her tits or um one time i one time i asked her when they're bored i know well one time i asked her if she would come to work in her you know her

skirt with you know panties on and and i honestly i forgot all about it and then she showed up at work and we're sitting there and she she said hey look i didn't wear panties and um and so i went down on her while we were at work and honestly it was probably probably the best tasting pussy i've You went down on her. Well, that's kind of cheating. Yeah. Yeah. And so anyway, in that capacity, I've cheated on my wife in that way.

I've never fucked another woman. I know some people draw the line. Yeah. I'm not drawing the line because I think that that's the line. I just haven't done it because, you know, it's not been, it just didn't happen. Right. But I know, I think it's even more interesting that you don't, like when I said, like, do you, did you ever cheat on your wife with a woman? before you said no but yet you've gone down on women like i would think that that would be a yes

yeah yeah i agree i mean i i guess uh i guess a husband who you know if if some guy's wife uh was given blow jobs at work uh he'd probably think that was cheating so i can agree that going on going down on a girl is cheating um but put it this way i haven't had like a uh in spite of all the internet friendships that i've had and in relationships in that capacity i've never had enough with a woman where we go on a date or secretly go off to a hotel. Right. I've just done a lot of really crazy stuff at work. Like it's just the opportunity just arose.

It's not planned out. It's not like that sort of secretive. But it just happens kind of like out of boredom. Right. With that girl. I mean at work, right? Like it's never been out of work. But yet this guy though, I want to bring it back to my initial question.

The guy, though, was out of work. And this was definitely cheating, right? like that you would say this was a very secret thing that your wife didn't know about right and she already told you at that point like if you're going to be by just don't fucking tell me oh yeah yeah no

by the time by the time I actually no kidding really met with some guy that I had met and and you know gave a blow job by the time that happened my wife were you know we had already established that if I do it I'm not going to tell now I've had I've had

that first guy that I was talking about that he and I played the darts together. My wife knew about that. I told her about it. And, you know, she was kind of freaked out. And but she's like, okay, well, I don't want to need details. And then I have another friend, a co-worker that he and I hooked up while his wife was out of town. And I told my wife about it. And she, you know, she's like, on that one, she really was asking for more details. but then, you know, when I start to say, okay, if you want to know what happened, I'll tell you. And then she backed down and say, no, I don't want to know. Did you fuck that guy? Like, have you gone farther than blow jobs with guys?

So I've, with the one guy that I was just talking about, he and I both have, I guess the right word is slipped it in, but that was the extent of it. We're just not experienced, but technically. And then I've had one other encounter that happened about probably almost a year ago, I think. this gentleman that I have known via the internet for a very long time, he and I have always talked about meeting just to have coffee. He's a gay man, and he actually lived in the same city as me. So he told me he was moving, long story short, he was in a hotel. We planned to meet just to say, you know, finally meet in person, have a cup of coffee.

but the reality is is I knew that if I went to his hotel room what was going to happen. Yeah, of course. And, you know, this guy, he's no, he knows what he's doing. And basically, I allowed him to, you know, take me inally for my first real time. And it was wonderful. It was everything I dreamed that it would be. And the only thing, he didn't come in me or anything like that, but just the act of doing it. I know one of your recent shows, I think it was, maybe it was Noah.

It was anyway, it was a guy who likes stuff up his ass with the GI Joe's. Yeah. He was talking about the prostate and all that. Well, this guy, this guy I was with, he definitely hit it and knew what he was doing. And I must have came like a rocket. I mean, all over the, you know, all over the place. Like without even jerking off. Oh, hell yeah.

Without even touching yourself because, right? It's like, that's so interesting. Yeah, absolutely. And so I understand what the guy's talking about. Yeah. So it was amazing. And did that happen recently, did you say? It's been within the last probably six months to a year. And, you know, I'm not going to lie. I'm, I'm more heterosexual than I am homosexual. So it's not like I'm out looking for this stuff to happen. I'm one of those target of opportunity people. So, you know, I can count on two hands, all of the buy experiences that I've had. you know, in my life.

But I would say that if that opportunity happened again and I, you know, it was a safe environment and I could do it, I would certainly be open to it. I mean, I'll be honest. If I could, if I could convince my wife to enjoy it, I would very much like to be in a a threesome where there's some by activity. But our friend, he's not by. He's not interested in having a guy blow him or being blown. and I mean by me and my wife doesn't want to really watch that so so that's probably never

going to happen but if if I found another couple that where the husband was by I would definitely be into you know whatever goes in that in that realm right but that would have to be a little bit of a secret because like listen I think it's amazing that you did tell your wife about a couple of those experience so you weren't really cheating with on these like behind her back with these guys because you told her right and she kindness at that point said listen I don't really want to know, do what you got to do. We do a game that maybe a lot of people do. We play this game about, I don't know, every month or so.

And we call it confessions. And it's basically while we're having sex, you know, one or the other will say confession. And that's your opportunity to say, okay, here's what I did. And for me, as the guy who gets off on, you know, her being with other guys, in the past, she used that as an opportunity. she's very good at weaving a good story and she would use that as an opportunity to take something that was partially true and turn it into a sexual encounter and it's quite a turn on well um you know that's exciting and fun everybody ought to try it well the reverse of that is when i've been the one

to confess um i you know let loose that you know oh you know that guy that works with me i sucked his dick Right. And that's true. I mean, her stories are a little embellished, right? That's what you were saying? Yes. Right.

But yours are true. And she knows and is she okay? This is in the middle of sex? Like, does that ruin it for her? Because she's doing to that? That's definitely a turnoff for her. So it has to be timed. It has to be timed right.

Yeah. Well, you would do that after you're done having sex, right? I mean, and you do this during sex. Is this a thing? Because when she tells you these fantasies are like hot for you or these confessions are hot for you? Do you ever tell her like made up confessions, considering you do blog about sex and you are a storyteller?

No, because I, you know, I don't have any fake, I don't think that she would be turned on if I made up a story about being with some, you know, a lady or something like that. Right. It's, we're just, we're just built different way, I guess. Yeah. You know, nine times, and I'm going to be honest with you,

The other thing, I don't know, I don't think this is a secret per se. You know, we've been married a long time. There's that, you know, there's that old saying that, you know, you can only fuck a woman a thousand times and then it gets boring. Yeah. Well, we've been, we've definitely passed a thousand times. And so for us, probably something that she's not happy about, you know, for us, it's generally utility sex.

And at my age, I'm good with sex, you know, once a week or, you know, this week. it was twice but yeah she's the more horny one you said in the email she would definitely she would fuck five days a week if she could and has she gone in menopause or she had hormones like what's she's she's she's gone through menopause and it's just made her more horny yeah okay that's good that's good for her now did she because you did say that she went through a time period where like you got like you know she was just like really not acting appropriate like this is when you started blogging right and she like you guys had a problem do you think that's when she was going through her changes?

No, it wasn't, I don't think it was that. I think, I don't know what, I don't know what the issue was. We went, we went through a period of time about the time our kids were teenagers, so that's trying enough for anybody. Yeah. But, you know, I don't like to say disparaging things about my wife, but she was just a raging bitch. And there was no explanation for it that I could, that I could uncover.

Maybe she was going through parimenopause. Do you know about that? I mean, that's the time before. Yeah, I've heard about that. Maybe that was it. But she, you know, I hated her. The kids hated her. It was, I don't know if you ever, there's a country singer named Tim McGraw. And he had this song called Angry All the Time. And, you know, people can look it up on the internet. But the gist of the song is he's basically telling his ex-wife, why do you have to be angry all the time? And every time she'd get into one of her tirades, I'd and find that record and that CD and put it on. And, you know, and I told her, I told her one time, I said, listen, if I woke up every day and I was as mad at the world as you are, I'd fucking kill myself. I just, there's, like why live, right?

I get it, right. Why? And every, there was, you know, like I say, the, you know, the kids could, you know, the kids, we raised two wonderful kids. And I'll tell you, she's a great mother and she's a wonderful grandmother. But at that time, I mean, I could talk for an hour about all the shitty things that she did. And what happened was during that time, and that's when I started this blog and I was mostly venting about what a horrible bitch I was married to. But we had made a commitment that, and I don't mean in a religious way, because I'm not religious at all, even though she did.

we had made this commitment that we were going to be together, we were going to raise these kids, we had separated for a period of time, and then when we got back together, we said, okay, this is going to be, you know,

we are going to manage like a business, the raising of these kids, you know, whether it kills us or not, you know, and we did that. And getting through that period of just hate and discontent, we,

somehow or another grew into a better place. People, you know, people look at us, and that's one of the reasons why this blog is such a secret, people look at us and think that we're the, you know, the best couple in the world. Well, I can assure you that's just not the case. We just put on a good face, I guess, but we get along now. You went through a bad time. I mean, you're not going through that bad time now, right? Would you say that?

Pretend that didn't happen so many years ago. like what you say, because I don't think I think that's very natural if you're with someone for 30 years to go through hard times. Like, do you think that there's any relationship out there that is like, you know, a 30 years in the making and didn't go through that? I don't know. I don't think so. I think it is. I think you guys are a great couple because you weathered that made it through and have a good relationship. And just that because that happened doesn't take away from that.

I don't think. Well, the only issue is is that honestly, I'm, you know, I probably. should seek some kind of a lot of people have told me I should seek counseling but um there is a part of the relationship that is the intimacy part that is dead to me I love the fact that we have the sex that we have and we have this kind of weird open relationship kind of thing going because it's good for both of us yeah um but as far as you know husband and wife making love that kind of thing it's it's very utility in nature it's very much much, you know, hey, I need to get off, you know, get a boner so I can, you know.

Right. But let me ask you this. Outside of the sex being like not so intimate the way that it was a romantic or whatever, do you feel emotionally like romantic with her? Do you have that in other aspects of your relationship or is that dead too? No, I think I feel a friendship and I, I, I mean, obviously, I love her. But I don't love, I don't love her in a romantic, you know, it this way if I I feel I'm a horrible jerk for even saying this but sometimes I travel for the job that I do and if I'm gone

for a week I don't miss her at all and I come back and she's just absolutely you know have missed me for this whole time you know probably fucking another guy but still yeah well she has her needs I mean I would say on some level she's experiencing the same thing because like she did you said this whole thing with this boyfriend on the side is new.

So on some level, if you're pulling away, even if it's subconsciously, you don't even realize it, but that intimacy isn't there for you emotionally or whatever. On some level, she must have been feeling it because she had the need to go find this other guy, not it's turned into more than just sex. Okay, so let me tell you a little bit more about the secret. Yeah. So the interesting thing about this guy is, I mean, we've been in touch with this couple, you know, for all this time.

The relationship, the first set of threesomes that we were having 20 years ago, the reason why that ended is because they moved away. They, you know, they were in the military, they moved on. Well,

they came back, and when they came back, we kind of hooked up again in terms of families. Well, about, like I say, it's been 18 months, maybe,

and maybe my timeline is off, 18 months, two years ago. I met him for lunch, and we got together. and I said, hey, what are your thoughts on starting to do this again? And he's like, well, I'm game. If she's game. And I said, well, here's the deal. If we're going to do it again, you're going to have to convince her because she's convinced that that part of our life is over. We had, after he moved away,

just a little backstory, after he moved away, we actually did hook up with another guy, another guy that I worked with for several times. And it was fun. But my wife just kind of lost him. interest in him. He just, he didn't stand up, I guess, to the, well, he had a small dick for one, but but the sex wasn't so great for her. Not that, not that she's a size queen or anything, but anyway, he, that didn't work out. So anyway, my wife had just stated that this part of our relationship was over, you know, that we weren't going to be doing any more threesome. She didn't completely close it down. She said, oh, yeah, in the right circumstances, the right person, this, that, the other. But, but, But for the most part, our sex outside was either me blowing these other guys at work or her, you know, we would have this fantasy talk during sex.

Yeah. Well, anyway, I approached this guy and said, hey, let's say we start this again. And I said, the way you're going to have to do it is you're basically going to have to seduce her. You're going to have to convince her that she wants to do this because she's pretty much closed down this part of her life. And so, you know, of course. the worst thing that's ever happened to marriage is Facebook. And he kind of messaged her and said, hey,

how's it going and that kind of thing? And it took months of him chatting with her and talking with her and telling her, you know, hey, send me a picture, that kind of thing. And, you know, my wife doesn't think twice about sending pictures of her tits to some guys. So, you know, that didn't take long. And, of course, this guy wouldn't think twice about, you know,

sending in a picture of his dick. So it took about two or three months and she was still timid. She came to me and she said, look, did you put him up to this? And of course, I lied and said, no, you know, he really does think you're pretty or he really does, you know, whatever. He's really interested in this. Well, eventually it started with a meeting at a restaurant for a drink, you know kissing that kind of thing and and eventually she was ready to have some guy around me his alarm went off yeah i hear it go on yeah so anyway uh it eventually culminated in the first threesome in 20 years or so and and we all had fun and it was and it was great and we all agreed um you know let's let's do this more and eventually what our schedules are are tight. And of course, he's married. And so he has to be very concerned about, you know, getting away from his wife. Luckily, he lives close to us. But anyway, what has happened with

this relationship is they pretty much chat probably every night. It could be anything from, hey, how is your day or, you know, how's it going? How's the kids? How's, you know, that kind of thing. or it could be him, you know, hiding in his garage, jacking off and her talking and through it by sending pictures of her tits. Right. A lot of times I'm sitting right there next to her and she'll even joke. She'll say, hey, look at this and show me a picture that he just, you know, sent a picture of his dick. Right, right. And, you know, she'll say stuff through, hey, I just showed my husband your dick, you know, that kind of thing.

But is your point, though, that you're trying to make that, like, it's not really, like, even though it's her boyfriend, it's not really like she's really that into him emotionally. it's more that it's just more like friends and sex? No, they are very good friends and their intent is that no matter what they want to stay friends, but I will tell you this flat out, she loves this guy and he loves her, but they both agree that this is not, that I am her primary partner. She has absolutely no intention whatsoever. And I know right now there's people in their car going, you know, you're, you lose her, you're crazy, you know, but but we've this is stuff we've talked about we all know he has no intention of leaving his wife unless

she kicks him out um and the reason why i brought it up is because like you're saying like you don't really feel any kind of connection with her like in in that sense so i was saying like maybe that's why she has gotten a little bit she's taken the whole other guy thing to a whole other level right because in the past she didn't fall in love with another guy right it was just like sex. But now she does have more with him and you have more with these people online. So in a way, you guys, like, you know, she must know, she must know that you're not like, because she's not either. Like I feel like if I was talking to her, she might, if she didn't know that you were listening, might be saying the same thing about her feelings for you. That's why maybe she's fulfilling those

needs in her with somebody else. Because maybe she doesn't, maybe she's on the same page is what I'm trying to say, right? Probably. I would say this. I know that you say that you're not a professional or anything like that, but I think you probably just saved me several thousand dollars in therapy fees. Because I think you're right. I think I think that really sums up that relationship. They're there clearly and like I say, I feel like an asshole about it a lot. I feel like, I feel like, you know, a jerk sometimes that I'm in this situation where I am married to this woman and yes, I love but I don't have that same romantic feeling that I had. But what is the jerk part of it, that you let her be with another guy?

No, the jerk. The jerk part of it is is, is, I'll say, what, this, somebody, a lady sent me an email a long time ago because we were talking about this. And she just said, you know, I need to know why, you know, why can't you fuck her like, you know, like a guy in love? what stops you from pretending, you know. And, I mean, that's kind of really deep shit. But the fact of the matter is is that something during that period of our relationship

where, you know, the raging bitch years, something died in there. And what I've been able to recover is a good friend and partner, you know. Yeah, maybe you're just, right. But you're not like in love with her in that sense. And maybe you'll be, you're probably never going to get that back. And she knows that on some level, like I said. Yeah. And what's really weird about this is I have another friend who told me,

I told her that I was going to come on this podcast. Yeah. And she swore to me that by the end of the podcast, I was going to be in love with you because I seemed to fall in love with people. Right. Because you're not in love with your wife and you're trying to fill that way. She's got a boyfriend. You need a girlfriend.

I've got a whole bunch of girlfriends. They're just on the internet. Well, listen, I think everybody sort of in one way or another, Sometimes if you can't fulfill all your stuff in one person, we can compartmentalize. I mean, I've done that a lot in my life because I was like very commitmentphobic and I see commitment phobic people doing that a lot, you know. So you'll have like numerous people in your life and they all sort of satisfy different needs and you could be completely sort of, okay, is that the ideal situation?

Probably not. But like in your situation, like the thing isn't like, why can't you get back those feelings for your wife? That probably is never going to happen. And after 30 years, big deal that it's not happened. I mean, you guys had a good run. You were great parents and maybe this situation the way that it is okay. Like, you know, I don't think you need to get that back with your wife.

You might not. I mean, some people would say maybe you could live out the next, you know, you're still young, relative. You're 50-something years old, right? If you live till you're 85, you have a long time. Is it necessarily going to be great spending the next 30 years, like with someone that you don't totally love having half-ass relationships? with people that you never really meet up in person?

Or do you maybe want to eventually fall in real love again and have that thing from one person? I don't know. I'm absolutely not looking for another relationship, but I'm not going to lot. It would be, I mean, there's people that I talk to that, yeah, it'd be kind of cool to have a little fling, but I'm just not, I'm not willing to risk what I have for that. I don't know if you, I don't know if you listen to Dan Savage at all. I listen to them all the time. and two words that I learned from him.

One is companionate. And he refers to a companionate, you know, marriage or a companionate relationship where they just get along, but they don't really fuck. Well, we fuck. So I don't think that we're a companionate. Yeah. But, you know, mostly, most often it's the guy who doesn't get enough sex. And so he has to go out and looking for it. And in our case, I don't know if it's because I've got some chemical imbalance or something.

But I don't crave, you know, I don't crave. you know, I don't need No, you're just losing testosterone. Guys, I see a lot with a lot of guys I know that were big time players, even when they're younger. Late 40s, they started to like not, like they couldn't come more than want. Like it's, they go with through changes. It's hormone.

It's the same shit that happened to women. So the other word that I learned was compers. And they, a lot of swingers use that term or people in poly relationships use that term compersion to, and that means that it's when, it's when, say, the husband, feels as a it's the complete opposite of jealousy they feel an emotional high when their spouse

or their partner is is basically feeling good and so it's that lack of jealousy i don't have a jealous bone in my body right unfortunately my wife does and she still does even though you know you would think on some of i remember one woman i had this really interesting podcast once with a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her and she was like devastated. And then she wound up doing the same thing. And she found that when she started to do it and she realized that she could love her husband and sort of, because she started dating this other person and like love that other person. Yes.

Yes. I heard that. Yeah. She was able to like completely forgive him and understand it and be totally okay with it. Because when she was jealous, it was about her not believing that that was possible. And then when she did it herself and realized it is possible, she was completely. fine. I was like, wow, that's like a really interesting sort of thing, right? It's my wife recently had a revelation like that in that she, we, we have a family friend that

is, by the way, one of my secret, you know, correspondence that I talked to. Yeah. Well, she and her husband are much younger than us, but they, they are into an open relationship. And so she began having conversations with my wife to the point that my, wife confessed to her, hey, I've got this boyfriend and thinking that the girl was going to be completely shocked and the girl was absolutely not shocked at all. Well, because she had read my blog. But anyway, the girl explained to her this whole idea that, you know, love is not like a pie. You know, you don't, you don't, there's not just a single amount that you can have. You can actually love more. than one person and you can actually have a relationship with more than one person and it doesn't

take away from that other and i think she convinced my wife to not feel bad about her feelings for her boyfriend and and you know and i appreciated that i i think it's i think it's a positive a positive thing for us as a as a couple yeah i mean i saw a part of me was going to say before i've never been with someone for 30 years not even close to that so i was going to say like maybe that just all that it can be at 30 years like a really great friend that you kind of live with. Like, I've heard that. Like, that people feel that after like 10 years of being someone, let alone, you know, 30 years,

that maybe that like thing that is not there anymore, just maybe you're just in a different phase and a relationship that's 30 years of the making is like it's more normal to be the way. I don't know. Well, you know, I've heard you say. It's a fact if you're happy or not. You know, it depends on how you feel. I've heard you say it several times that you wish that we lived in a society with polygamy me or something along those lines.

And the idea is, is that, look, I mean, seriously, 10 years with the same person, you know, people's bodies change, people get older, people get cranky, whatever. And if we as a society could accept the fact that it was not some just totally horrible if one of the other partner went out and got a little side. And then everybody at home was happy. Why is that such a bad thing? Right. A lot of people wouldn't have to break up and leave. And the other funny thing is that it seems like it's so scandalous that there's all these people cheating and such.

But I'll be honest with you. I work with a lot of people and I have a way of bringing people into my confidence and gaining their trust. And it's not because I'm some psychotic killer or anything like that. But I just love the sharing of secrets, you know, between two people. and and what I have learned is that the majority of my married male friends, unless they are super religious and aren't telling me the truth, they have probably cheated or at very minimum tried to cheat and just, you know, didn't get away with it or whatever.

And I've also learned that a lot of women, I know a lot of married women who are respectable women, and you would just never believe it, that, you know, I have a lady in my office that, all go in and almost every day this sounds like sexual harassment but it's not you know I'll ask her hey what color are your panties today she'll lift up her skirt and show me her

panties and go oh looks like the blue oh no listen I mean when people talk about sexual harassment at work I'm like oh my god every place I've ever worked it was like so hardcore because people are just at work board and everyone's like has an ego and they all wanted to be filled by other people and you get to know people and it's all like oh yeah and before you know you're flashing people it's hilarious yeah I mean so many people have seen my dick yeah you know I've seen so many

tits at work. I mean, I've had women show me their pussy. You know, it's, it's, and I'm, it's not like I, people forget, you know, people forget that, you know, you do this. It's fun. Nobody meant anything like it. It doesn't mean that you're having an affair. It doesn't mean that, that now you're going to have a relationship. It means, hey, we were bored at work. We decided to show each other our, you know, our genitals. And it happens. Right. And that's, but that's different than the cheating thing that you were just talking about too. But like, people cheat. It's like, there's just so much sort of confusion because like you said people think it's like a terrible thing but like I just believe that most of the time it's very rare that you're going to meet somebody and walk down

the same path and stay on the same in the same head space for 30 years and keep going and of course you've gone through bad times and like I said like where you're at now like you know it's it's only a bad thing if you feel unfulfilled if you feel fulfilled if you feel fulfilled and you're does, then that's great. Yeah, the fantastic thing about it is, is that my wife, during the course of this relationship now with her boyfriend, she about every week or two will say, hey, we need to sit down and make sure that we're on the same sheet of music here. If you have any problems, you need to tell me.

If you want me to stop, you need to tell me. If you don't want me to, you know, if you want us to just be friends and not fuck anymore, tell me. And, you know, and each time, I appreciate that she's asking that because she wants to stay communicative about it. But my answer is always, no, I'm happy. In fact, I told her we were having a discussion the other night, and I flat out told her that if this relationship ended, for whatever reason, I would hope that she would seek out and find another guy to be in a similar relationship with. And she was kind of shocked by that. But, you, but like, it's a lot about her, but like, what about you? You know, that's what I'm asking you about.

Like, how do you feel? Not about her being with the other guy. Just about you and where you're at. You know, if it was a perfect world, you know, maybe I would, maybe I would want something different. But I'm actually, I'm actually very content. I've managed to go through my own form of midlife crisis, which played out of my blog. And, you know, where I questioned myself and questioned am I, you know, just an idiot for all this?

but the fact of the matter is I have a lot of people that I email daily I stay in touch with and this kind of thing works for me and now what happens if all of a sudden my wife hears this podcast

well now I just have to sit back and say well you know you're fucking another guy so right but no first of all she's never going to find out about your blog you've been doing it successfully behind her back for a long time it's not like you're completely lying to her because she has said to you, she knows that you got blowjows from other people. She told you flat out, like, please just don't tell me certain things.

So listen, if she could find out, like, if she did find out, like, I mean, you could sort of use that card and say, like, well, you just told me not to tell you certain things. So I don't necessarily think that it's like it would be like the end all be all if she found out. But like right now, I think because you keep that on the side, she's got her boyfriend. She's not sniffing around trying to find out anything about you because if she really wanted to know or she had some kind of inkling or she gave a shit about that she wouldn't know you know what I mean but she hasn't and she doesn't sort of sniff around so I think that that's fine so if

you're fine doing that and she's fine with her boyfriend you guys are fucking fine yeah I honestly think we have a very enviable relationship right now and I think and you know honestly for all the I don't know holier than now people who think this is just a terrible abomination and all that I I think they don't know what they're missing. And we don't know really what is going on with them. That's why I like to talk to people and not talk to people for 10 minutes and not look at their pictures on Facebook and get an idea. You know, you got to really talk to people.

Because a lot of time, the more you talk, the more people reveal things. You know, there's people out there that are having a monogamous relationship and are completely happy. That exists too. You know, but there's other people that aren't and people have different things. And I just think everyone's life is different. And I think what's most important is that, you know, at some, like, and I always say, like, happiness is kind of overrated. I mean, like, you don't get to the point of being happy and you're happy forever.

Life is, that's not life, you know, but you just want to have like an inner sense of being, you know, happy with yourself and at peace. And if you're not, and I think even you're 50-something years old, I think there's going to be times in your life before you pass on where you probably won't be happy and maybe you'll make big changes. I mean, that's what life's about, you know what I mean? But if you're okay now and it works for you now, it just, it just does. You know what I mean? And that's, that's what it's all about. And that's so that's a good thing, a good place to be in. I agree.

And I think, I think we are in a good place. And I think right now, the only thing that could possibly make it better, I wish my wife, and my wife is not in by any means homophobic. She's just not into her husband, fucking other guys. I know. I wish because like I had this guy on recently. who, and I got to wrap this up, but we're probably going to do a part two with you because I want to talk more about your blog. A guy recently who said, like, he would have never thought he would be interested in seeing his wife with someone else.

And I think your wife, you just don't know with her, because she's the one that, like, would say never ever about stuff, and then she'd do it. And then she'd be like, never again. And then she'd cry. And then she'd be like, never again. But then she did. And then, you know, so I feel like maybe with a little coat, like, you just don't know with her that maybe she doesn't think she would. would be into it, but maybe she would. She doesn't know.

Maybe she has to, like, maybe you just, like, the next time you're having a threesome and the dick is in your face, maybe you just, even though she gives you that look, maybe you just do it and see what she, and see, she might cry and say, fuck you never get. And then the next time she's like, come down here, baby. Like, you know, you don't know with her. I feel like you just don't know. And she, she doesn't know is really interesting. It's all about pushing the envelope.

Yeah, there was a guy last week. I just posted his episode, the professional swinger guy who was. very horrified by a guy because he likes to like help other people swing and he was very horrified by a guy who wrote in to him and said hey I want you to help me get my girlfriend into swinging he said okay and he's like can we do a setup but like I don't want her to know it's a setup like let's just bring and he's like was fucking horrified by that I said but I just think that's real life in some situations people have to sort of not be tricked into it but it just has to kind of happen that's normally how it goes like when you said your wife cried and she's like no and like that to me is more real life. then like it just goes so smoothly and everyone knows and it's so formal do you know what I mean Kathy you're so so right and and you know I I've just been I've been studying this for so long I've been ever since I've had access to the internet I've been I've been learning about hot wives and cuckolds and and open relationships and polyamory and all these different things so people people are people and and everybody can go look on Facebook and just ignore

everything that the pretend life that those people Yeah and they can listen to my episodes and they can know like that's what's going down with people on your block And you but because you have this blog where it's like You're sort of revealing your secret things and we're going to end on this Because then I want you to come back on and lead with this right because you have this blog And if you want to say the name of it right now for people to listen to

To go Yeah sure It's uh it's JF break At or JF break Dot blogspot.com Right and so you've been blogging there and and because you've developed relationships and you talk to people like,

I think that that's been a part of your research and you've learned a lot of stuff from that and there's so much more stuff about your history that we could talk to. So we have to do a part too. Talk more about your blog, more about your midlife crisis at 50 because I think a lot of guys go through that.

Yeah, that would be really fun. I think it's an interesting topic. I think it's very relevant. I mean, you know, I'm older. I'm 48 so I know people around that age too. But I think it's something to talk about so we could talk about that too. That'd be great.

All right. So we'll talk again soon, James. Thanks for calling in. All right. Thank you. Take care. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book.

Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord, My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me.

Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money.

It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access. to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

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